Holmberg 1

Sam Holmberg
Professor Beadle
English 115
27 September 2016
The Vicious Cycle
Oftentimes parents are so anxious that their curiosity gets the best of them before
the baby is even born. This "curiosity" is too much to bear in the preceding months before
birth that they find out the sex of the baby beforehand. But why is that? Parents want to
plan on what to buy their child and how to decorate their room, typically blue for a boy
and pink for a girl. This is the way it has always been; parents prepare themselves for
what the gender will be of their newborn child. The manner in which a child is raised,
leads them into acting a certain way and obtaining gender associated jobs in the future,
for example a housewife, or a construction worker. The articles, "From Women, Men, and
Society" by Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran and "'No Way My Boys are Going to be
Like That: Parents' Responses to Children's Gender Nonconformity" by Emily W. Kane,
help portray the idea that the cycle of raising children the way their parents were raised,
ultimately leads to the mold of gender roles. The authors are encouraging parents to let
their children grow up to be who they want to be. The way parents interact with babies of
different genders, the way parents present their children from birth, and the toys parents
allow their children to play with lead to gender roles.
Girls are known to be more dainty while boys are more aggressive, and that is
because of the way parents interact with their kids based on gender. Within the article
"From Women, Men, and Society" by Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran, examples were

Holmberg 2
given and explained how parents treat sons and daughters differently without even
knowing. "However, she also found that the mothers of girls were more sensitive to their
children, while the mothers of boys were more restrictive of their children." (Renzetti and
Curran 78) This leads to girls and boys growing up acting with feminine or masculine
traits. Boys are taught to be more aggressive and active. This includes dressing them in
sweatpants, cotton shirts, and jeans to promote active movement and play. On the other
hand girls are taught to be gentle and that is factored in to what types of clothes girls are
normally dressed in: dresses, skirts, and sandals. The way they are dressed influences
how they play. Boys play more rough and girls are told to be more lady-like and not
rough at all. When boys are more physical and aggressive, this can influence their gender
roles. Those boys will most likely want to obtain a "masculine" career that allows them to
be active.
Parents take offense when people ask what the gender of their baby is, so they try
to make it very clear to the public, for example, buying clothes of a particular color or
getting a little girl's ears pierced. "Parents most often use clothing to avoid confusion"
(Shakin et al., 1985 qtd. in Renzetti and Curran 77) This includes purchasing clothes that
portray sports, military, trucks, or superheroes for boys, and bows, ruffles, hearts, and
flowers for girls. From a young age little girls are being told that pink is their color and
that they should like things such as sparkles and flowers so they subconsciously steer
away from all other options or boy clothes. At birth, male and female babies look almost
identical and are pretty much completely identical besides the obvious reproductive
genitalia. Society understands this so businesses and marketers advertise baby clothes

Holmberg 3
with specific colors and or objects on these clothes so confusion of the gender is not
necessary. This is another reason why kids by the age of 3 can identify what group
or gender they belong into, all because of the repetition as to what they should wear and
how they should act.
Girls love to play with their Barbie dolls and tea sets while boys love to play with
their action figures and hot wheels. Children are told to play with toys society believes is
right and marketers portray these toys in such manner. The little girl toys are on a bright
pink catalog page with only girl models in the photo. Often times these "girl toys" are
aimed to replicate professions of motherhood; cooking, cleaning, and child care which
then influence their life decisions on what they want to be when they are older. As stated
by Renzetti and Curran, "Girls' rooms reflected traditional conceptions of femininity,
especially in terms of domesticity and motherhood." (Renzetti and Curran 80) Parents are
often oblivious to this idea of influencing domesticity on their daughter because this was
the way they were raised and how it always has been. It is well known throughout our
country that there are specific differences between girl and boy toys but when boys want
to play with said "girl toys," it isn't taken very lightly. Within Kane's article, they
interview parents on how they react when their sons fall into gender nonconformity. Here
is a response from a gay father, "'He put nail polish on himself once, and I said 'No you
can't do that, little girls put nail polish on, little boys don't.'" (Kane 93) Parents seem
to put much more pressure on boys to be masculine and downplay femininity in its
entirety. Many fathers also believe that if their son starts acting feminine then he has
failed his duty to construct his son into a masculine man. This also goes for gay fathers
and how they don't want their son to be treated differently. Fathers don't want their son to

Holmberg 4
be considered different when in reality society has created that standard of males acting
very masculine and females acting very feminine.
Looking back on my own experience growing up I can see how my parents
influenced girl items on me. For one, I had an older sister so I wanted to be just like her
and my mom always bought us pink and sparkly shoes. Every year, I wanted an American
Girl Doll for my birthday and loved to treat her like my own kid, another example of how
girl toys reflected domesticity. One of my very close friends is gay and he always tells me
how he wanted to play dress up in his mom's high heeled shoes and clothes when he was
younger but also loved to play football with his dad in the front yard. I believe the way
his parents raised him should be an example to other parents that they shouldn't force
what toys are right and wrong for their children to play with. Children should make their
own recreational and stylistic choices of themselves. I know my parents would love me
unconditionally no matter what toys I wanted to play with but I can now realize that I was
raised in the way that my Mom and Dad were raised.
In today's society we influence gender roles based on parents interactions with
babies, how their baby is presented from birth, and the toys parents think are acceptable
for their gender to play with. Overall, this is a result of the vicious cycle of parents
treating their kids how they were brought up in their home. Morals and ideas through
society are continuously being passed down from generation to generation. Parents need
to be more aware of the decisions they make for their children when indeed the children
should be the ones making the decisions on who they want to be. This will lead to
children growing up to be adults and being able to feel comfortable with who they are no
matter what society tells them.

Holmberg 5
Work Cited
Kane, Emily W. ""No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That": Parents' Reaponses to
Cildren's Nonfnformity." Composing Gender. By Rachael Groner and John F.
O'Hara. New York: Bedford, 2014. 91-97. Print.
Renzetti, Claire, and Daniel Curran. "From Women, Men, and Society." Composing
Gender. By Rachael Groner and John F. O'Hara. New York: Bedford, 2014. 7686. Print.