The Sick Rose

By Lee Hyoseok
Translated by Steven D. Capener

Literature Translation Institute of Korea

Originally published in Korean as Jangmi byeongdeulda in Samcheonli munhak, 1938

Translation 2014 by Steven D. Capener

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or

transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright
owner and Literature Translation Institute of Korea.
The original manuscripts to these translations were provided by Gongumadang of
Korea Copyright Commission.

The National Library of Korea Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lee, Hyo-seok
(The) sick rose [electronic resource] / by Lee Hyo-seok
; tranlated by Steven D. Capener. -- [Seoul] :
Literature Translation Institute of Korea, 2014
p.
:
Translated from Korean
ISBN 978-89-93360-52-3 95810 : Not for sale
813.61-KDC5
895.733-DDC21

CIP2014028979

About Lee Hyoseok

Lee Hyoseok (1907 1942) is counted among Koreas best short story writers
along with the likes of Hyun Jin-geon, Yi Taejun, and Park Taewon. His most widely
read story, When the Buckwheat Blooms, is the tale of an itinerant peddler, going
from market to market in the vicinity of Bongpyeong, Lees birthplace. The story
unfolds against the lyrically depicted moonlight and blooming buckwheat flowers.
Gasan (Lees pen name) was born in Gangwon Province and graduated from
Gyeongseong First High School before going on to major in English Literature at
Gyeongseong Imperial University.
Together with his contemporary Yu Jinoh, he was classified as a fellow
traveler writer. Such an epithet was used to describe writers who, while not officially
joining KAPF, sympathized with its ideology and aims and reflected these sympathies
in their writing. A number of his early novels such as City and Specter, Siberian
Coast, Correspondence from the North Country, and Mahjong Philosophy are
good examples of such works.
However, with the decline of proletariat literature in the early 1930s, Lee
became a member of the modernist coterie Group of Nine. The Group of Nine, that
was begun by Yi Jongmyeong and Gim Yuyeong, included in the original nine Lee
Hyoseok, Lee Mu-young, Yoo Chijin, Yi Taejun, Jo Yongman, Gim Girin, and Jeong
Jiyong. Later, with the addition of Yi Sang and Park Taewon, this group became, both
in name and in reality, the locus of Korean modernist literary activity.
After joining the Group of Nine, Lee discarded his socialist leanings in favor
of a powerful eroticism based on a lyrical style of storytelling. Characteristic of this
style are the works Pig, Bunnyeo, Mountains, and Fields. As his career
progressed, he focused even more on the themes of human desire and sexuality, using
a style of writing often more redolent of verse than prose. Such works include the
short stories Wild Apricots, and The Sick Rose, and the full length novel Pollen.
Lee has been called the D. H. Lawrence of Korea.

About The Sick Rose

The Sick Rose, published in Samcheonli munhak (Three Thousand Li of
Literature) in 1938, is the first of two short stories that Lee Hyoseok names using the
title of a poem in English. This one, of course, is named after a poem by William
Blake. The other is Leaves of Grass titled after Walt Whitmans seminal collection.
Both short stories borrow themes from the poems they are named after. In the case of
The Sick Rose the theme is prostitution and the venereal disease that can
accompany the practice. Typical of Lees later literature, this story uses the theme of
sex as a means to critique what he saw as a hypocritical sense of morality in Korean
society.

The Sick Rose

Fights were common occurrences, but one as short and ridiculous as this,
while still exhibiting all the characteristic of a fight, were rare. It wasnt the kind of
fight with head-butting, kicking, tearing, screaming, cursing, tussling, and then, when
both combatants are too tired to go on, finally collapsing. No this fight didnt go
beyond getting hit, falling down, and giving up. As they had not seen the beginning or
the end it was clear and distinct, like a tedious story that has had the beginning and
end lopped off giving the fresh impression of several distinct frames of a film.
Perhaps it was that fresh impression that had brought Hyeonbo and Namjuk to a stop
on their way out of the movie theater. But by the time they wedged themselves into
the crowd of onlookers, the fight was already over.
They were in front of a restaurant that had dropped a beaded curtain over the
entrance signaling evening on this back street lined with eateries, a cafe, a movie
theater, drug store and the like. Judging from the white hats they wore, the fight
seemed to be between two cooks from the restaurant. One was muscular and the other
dark skinned and frail, and it seemed the fight had been decided by their two
physiques alone. There was no way to know what had caused the fight, but it was
obvious by their behavior that this was not the result of some sudden conflagration
but was something that had been brewing for a long time. It was also easy to discern
from the scrapes on their knuckles that an argument had lead to fisticuffs. The skinny
fellow had launched a savage attack, filled with lethal intent that momentarily set
muscles on his heels, but the big mans response had landed with double the force on
the skinny ones face.
Falling over backward with a yelp, he knocked over a potted tree that stood
near the doorway of the restaurant smashing the pot, the juniper tree spilling out..
Holding his face in his hands he staggered to his feet again and charged
muscles only to be knocked flat again by a second punch. Sitting on the ground he
rubbed his face as blood welled up in a couple of places and two thin rivulets ran
down from his nostrils. In spite of being completely spent, he wobbled to his feet and
lunged once more at muscles who nimbly stepped out of the way sending the skinny
one tumbling to the ground again.
He lay as he fell for a while sniffling in the silence, the blood that flowed from
his nose quickly spreading on the dry ground.
You win.
It was just that one phrase, but he spat it out in anger indicating that the fight
was over.
You give up?
Muscles stood there completely unperturbed, looking like he had just stepped
out for a stroll, staring brazenly down at his foe.
Im not giving up, I just dont have the strength right now.
4

Well, when you get some strength back, why dont you have another go?
All right. Until then Ill let you live.
As he replied in this unhurried and dignified way, the skinny one turned his
blood covered face toward them, and Hyeonbo felt a shiver go through his body at the
disturbing sight, causing him to grab a hold of Namjuks sleeve. Namjuk as well,
turned her face away from the scene and, without waiting for Hyeonbo to suggest it,
hurriedly walked away. They didnt speak for some time. The shock of what they had
suddenly and accidentally witnessed had been too much.
The formula was so simplestrong and weak, winner and loser; the coin only
had those two sides. When Hyeonbo thought about it, it seemed that the reality of the
strong over the weak principle, that meant that the scrawny fellow had no choice but
to curse and be knocked into the dirt by muscles, was a metaphor for the times they
were living in. He felt as if he had been beaten and was lying in a pool of blood like
the scrawny guy.
Isnt it both sad and beautiful, like a movie?
Tears filled Namjuks eyes as she spoke about what they had seen. Was it
sympathy for the loser that made it beautiful? Sad because it was beautiful and
beautiful because it was sad. And this thought unavoidably lead to tears because it
was the result of the reality that they faced in these modern times. So thinking,
Hyeonbo stopped Namjuk and pushed open the door of a tea house. Until the tea
came they sat without a word, absorbed in thoughts of what they had witnessed. They
may have been more deeply affected by what they had seen because of the movie they
had just watched. The movie The Witness was playing in the theater and they had
stumbled on it accidentally. Namjuks eyes were filled with tears as she watched one
beautiful scene after another. The movie was sad from start to finish and the pitiful
plight of the male and female leads caused her heart to ache. The scene where the old
mother took her young son, whose father had been put to death on an unjust charge, to
look down on his grave; and the scene where the destitute gathered under a bridge in
the evening dusk caused tears to pour down her face.
In the scene under the bridge, the poor people of the neighborhood all came
out of their houses and began to dance to the sad melody being played by a beggar on
his harmonium. Hearing the noise of the music, a police patrol came running and
prohibited the people from dancing. The old prosecutor that had tried his father made
an appeal for the people out of a pang of conscience, but this was ignored and the
people were forced to disperse. She was deeply moved by the pitiable sight of those
people. In the dark of the theater, Namjuk wiped the tears from her eyes several times
with a handkerchief. Then when she left the theater with her face still swollen from
crying, the first thing she saw was the fight. Being bombarded with emotions like this
had caused her to begin crying again.
In fact, Namjuks current situation was one worthy of tears. She had only been
released from jail a couple of days ago after spending more than two weeks locked up.
She was in a tough spot. With her empty pockets, she didnt have the means to get
back to her hometown nor to do anything else for that matter. She was no better off
than the people in the movie. She had come to see a movie with Hyeonbo because she
5

really had no other plans or options for how to spend the day. She was, in effect,
flotsam, a rudderless boat floating aimlessly on the water.
Only two weeks after it was formed, the drama group Culture Place
collapsed. As it was a drama group formed for the provinces, it had been established
in a city outside of Seoul, and this had actually brought it under greater scrutiny.
The members and scripts had been selected and they had all come down for
the first production, but the set had been raided for no discernable reason. Looking
back, there was no reason for this, it was just the result of the black clouds of the
times casting their dark shadows over everything.
They were in the scriptwriter Hyeonbos hometown so he wasnt detained
long; and Namjuk was released fairly quickly as well. The others however, Minsam
who had provided the funding, Insu in charge of casting, the lead actor Hakjun and
several others, were still being held indefinitely. Even though they had been released,
Hyeonbo and Namjuk were extremely dejected when they thought about their
comrades and the situation they found themselves in. With nothing else to do,
Hyeonbo wandered the streets all day, and Namjuk, who had found new purpose and
motivation with the establishment of the drama group after trying her hand at being a
singer and an actress, was hit especially hard by its dissolution sinking into a state of
despair.
The sky that had seemed so blue, had been smashed to pieces and pushed back
into the dark abyss.
Namjuk had been given the lead in both the play that Hyeonbo had written
called The Crumbling Stage, and in ONeills piece Ile, and she was overjoyed at
how well these parts suited her. In addition to the excitement at being able to act, she
had the unexpected joy of meeting her old acquaintance Hyeonbo after seven years.
For his part, Hyeonbo as well was both surprised and delighted to see Namjuk again.
When he saw the name of the lead actress, Hyeryeon, on the list sent down by
the general manager Minsam, he had wondered about her, but when he actually came
face to face with her and discovered that it was Namjuk, he was doubly surprised.
Neither of them could have, in their wildest dreams, imagined that they would meet in
this way after seven years.
They spent the night talking and reminiscing about the past. He had met her
and her sister Sejuk when they were attending school in Seoul when he had visited a
bookstore run by Sejuk. She ran the store by herself, and Namjuk, who was attending
a girls school, practically boarded at the store. Sejuks husband had been arrested,
but he had prepared for that eventuality by buying the store as a means of livelihood
for his family. While waiting for the eventual release of her husband some years in
the future, Sejuk ran the store alone while devoting herself to the care of her child and
younger sister Namjuk.
Namjuk was a precocious girl and she had started reading politically themed
texts at a young age. And so it was that she was expelled from school after being
found to be the instigator of a political movement that was discovered in her last year.
6

Not being able to finish her schooling she could not return to her hometown and so
she had no choice but to spend her days helping out at the store.
She would read whatever novels came into her hands and sing in her best
voice. Thinking that if she could train her voice she might become a classical singer,
and being somewhat proud of her pleasant looks she had aspirations to be a movie
actress as well. What Hyeonbo saw in the girl as she matured was the passion of the
times, but in addition he was also able to discern a beautiful sentiment and powerful
aspirations. She had a healthy body and wore her hair short, and when beautiful
melodies flowed from her lips, she seemed like a happy flower filled with dreams.
She was a healthy, yet easily damaged flower.
Hyeonbo would look at Namjuk as if he were gazing on a beautiful flower.
But after Hyeonbo had finished school, he left Seoul for home and then went
to Tokyo for a few years and, when he came back, the only news he had heard during
those seven years was that the bookstore had closed. After that there was no telling
what had become of them, whether they had gone back to their home in Gwanbuk or
not, and so, in this way she receded from his thoughts. In fact, he did not have the
leisure to think about other people, he was too busy worrying about his own life and,
like others living in these modern times, his thoughts were jumbled, torn, divided and
mixed up. Meeting after seven years, it seemed they had both been buffeted by the
waves of the times and had their dreams broken. And yet, meeting her as a stage
actress now, he could see that while the embers of past dreams still glowed in her,
something had clearly started to eat away at that once beautiful flower.
After checking the time, Hyeonbo brought Namjuk out of the teahouse and
headed toward the department store on the main street. He had an appointment to
meet Jungu. Jungu was just a poor teacher and so borrowing money from him would
be like squeezing blood out of a flea, but still he was the only friend that Hyeonbo
could turn to for the money to get Namjuk home.
It was not a matter of to be or not to be for Namjuk. She needed money to
get home like the people in the movie needed music to dance to in the street. Now
that the last remaining ember of her dream had been stamped out, she had no choice
but to go home to rest her body and compose her mind. Her home was located on a
broad plain and her sister Sejuk was farming there and raising goats. Sejuks husband
had been released but then imprisoned once again and Sejuk had made up her mind to
forget about the bookstore and raise goats in those fields. Tired now of the city,
Namjuk wanted nothing more than to taste those goats milk.
It was actually useless to borrow twenty or thirty won from his friend, but as it
seemed it was his destiny to never become friends with the modern devil himself,
he had no choice. He had thought about opening a teahouse but after a scolding from
his father he avoided borrowing money and there were times he didnt have the price
of a cup of tea in his pocket. Of course nobody likes the subject of borrowing money
and everyone wants to appear aloof when it comes to the topic, but lately Hyeonbo
was embarrassingly obsessed with it. That devil had given him a kind of courage
7

and so, in spite of his embarrassment, he asked Jungu for Namjuks travel expenses,
and had convinced her to write her sister for a one-way train ticket home.
But when Hyeonbo actually came face to face with Jungu dressed in a shabby
poplin suit and wearing a sweat stained hat, he immediately regretted having asked
his friend for money. He saw his own tired face in that of Jungu.
At any rate, they walked in a dignified manner up the stairs into the restaurant
where they were seated. After the food had been served, Jungu took out a
handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his face and neck.
I hope you understand. The kids are running wild at home, my wife is in her
last month of pregnancy and I still havent found a midwife. Every month I have bill
collectors clamoring at my door. I dont know how I got in this fix, but if things keep
going this way, Im going to have to kill myself. What can a guy do? Well, I
explained the situation to my principle and I managed to get this. Its not much but I
hope it helps. Not having even bothered with an envelope, he pulled a limp,
crumpled note from his pocket and put it in Hyeonbos hand. Hyeonbo felt a sudden
pang in his chest and his eyes misted over. The strong feeling of friendship emanating
from the limp note and the sweaty warmth of Junbos hand in his, caused a lump to
form in his throat.
Namjuk once again expressed her gratitude, her eyes fixed on the tabletop in
embarrassment as she fidgeted with her hair. The pitiful yet brave sight of the poor
Junbo, who had spoken without hesitation about his own destitute circumstances in
front of a woman he had never seen before, made her want to quietly slink away from
the table.
After coming out into the street and saying goodbye to Jungu, Hyeonbo felt
depressed. He didnt feel like going home and Namjuk was not in a hurry to return to
her stuffy room so they began strolling through the streets. The sweat soaked note that
his friend had, at great effort, managed to provide them with could not be given back
and he couldnt really just hold on to it either. It would require about five times this
amount to supply Namjuk with the travelling funds she needed. He decided to think of
another way to get her home and the fate of that one banknote would be determined
by where their feet took them that night.
Namjuk wanted to put on a record and foxtrot to her hearts content, but there
was no place that could accommodate that request, and Hyeonbo, not knowing
anything about dancing himself, entered an ordinary looking bar after wandering the
back streets for awhile. Namjuk accepted several glasses of strong gin, gulping them
down. Hyeonbo was both surprised and impressed by her drinking ability and he
wondered when she had developed such a tolerance. She seemed right at home in the
bar drawing the attention of the other men as she sat at ease, her face slightly flushed
from the drink.
After they had drank a considerable amount, Namjuk lost her inhibitions and,
swaying her shoulder in time to the music for a bit, she got up from her seat and
began dancing. Hyeonbo, being drunk as well, did not try to stop her but merely sat
and watched in amazement. He couldnt decide if it was that booze is filled with
8

sorcery and has the power to transform things or that the morality of places where
people dance is questionable. Either way a man across the room that Hyeonbo had
earlier identified to Namjuk with a whisper in her ear as the neer-do-well son of a
millionaire rose from his seat and came over to Namjuk where he asked her for a
dance. What was even odder was that Namjuk immediately accepted, took his arm
and began to step in time to the music. Initially, Hyeonbo just watched thinking that
must be what people did in dance halls. However, at the protestations of the other
customers, the hostess came over and separated them with a scowl on her face saying
that dancing was prohibited. At this, Hyeonbo came back to his senses and looked on
with a scowl on his face. Namjuks behavior had been over the line, but the intention
of the neer-do-well, who had suddenly appeared, struck Hyeonbo as particularly
odious, and so, out of a sense of embarrassment and responsibility, he grabbed
Namjuks arm and pulled her outside. He felt foolish for having taken her to such a
place and his anger did not subside for quite some time.
Even a neer-do-well like him, coming on to a total stranger like that What
a jerk.
Theres no reason to get angry. For people who like to dance theres nothing
wrong with asking for a dance, its actually a sign of respect. He was quite a good
dancer by the way.
Hyeonbo had no idea how to respond to Namjuks retort; was his reaction the
result of jealousy? If so that would mean he was in love with Namjuk and this thought
caused him to begin to search his feelings.
I cant take it. I cant stand anymore of this. I cant stay cooped up behind
these walls like a prisoner. Take me home, David. If I cant get out of here, if I cant
get off this ship Ill surely go mad. Please, David. Take me home. I cant bear it, bear
the cold and the silence. Im afraid. For the love of God, please take me home.
It was Namjuk but in a different voice. He realized that in her drunken state
she was quoting the lines of ONeills Ile, using the street as her stage. The appeals
of the woman Annie to her husband, the captain of a whaling ship operating in the
Arctic, had become the sincere entreaties of Namjuk.
This life is killing me. The cold, the terror, even the air feels threatening. The
desolation. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, everyday is the same gray. I just cant stand
it anymore. Im going mad. If you love me David, youll take me home
The next day was an aimless continuation of the previous day. The memories
of the night before were still fresh and Hyeonbo had still not completely come to grips
with his feelings about Namjuk. It was late afternoon when he went to see her. She
was red-eyed and groggy, but he agreed to her request that they go on a picnic to the
river.
The western part of the city had beautiful hills and the water of the river was
clam so that in summer there were many boats on it. There were ferries and fishing
boats, coal boats and pleasure boats with awnings, there were even motorboats dotting
the waters. The sound of singing could be heard from the pleasure boats and people
could be seen dancing on their decks so that the calm waters of the river, reflecting
9

the branches of overhanging trees, were transformed into a kind of amusement park.
In the city just past those hills was real life and strife, while the waters on this side
were a different world that resounded with laughter, song, and the sounds of pleasure.
Hyeonbo and Namjuk rented a boat and joined the people enjoying themselves
on the surface of the cool water. The branches of the poplar trees were gently
drooping, tufts of white cloud floated in the sky, and the scenery of the river couldnt
have been more beautiful. Hyeonbo worked the oars against the current and headed
the boat toward an island. Blue ripples of the rivers current, their intentions
unfathomable, lapped against the side of the boat.
I got a letter from my sister. She said the goats arent producing much milk
and so its going to be hard to come up with travel expenses.
She pulled the letter out of her sleeve and, ripping it up into four or five pieces,
tossed it onto the surface of the water. Her face held no trace of animosity toward her
sister, she was merely reporting in a matter of fact voice what the letter contained.
Im thinking of getting a job in a caf for a few days as a hostess.
This too held no note of disgust, but sounded like a mild joke. However, there
was also a hint of despair in it as well.
Theres got to be a better solution. No reason to run off and do something
rash like that.
Hyeonbo spoke brusquely and with emphasis in order to immediately dissuade
her from such an unsavory thought. But Namjuks desire to return to her home was as
keen as ever.
When you are trapped in the dark, your memories fade. Right about now,
Julys lilacs should be blooming in front of the door, and the roses should be budding
too.
This was one of Namjuks favorite lines from Ile, but she was not yet done
with her commentary. Watching the pieces of the torn up letter recede on the current,
Namjuks longing for home surged.
Theres a tall dike that stretches across the field from the sea to the front of
the village. Ive never seen such a long dike. Theres a stand of poplars by the station
for the international train and it runs straight from there to the ocean ten li away. It
takes twenty minutes to walk the distance between the pedestrian footbridge and the
railway bridge. The dike follows the dry streambed, and its so broad and white and
clean that it looks like someone drew an endless white line with a piece of chalk
across the green fields. There are green fields of grass on either side of the dike, and
mugwort and pearlwort grow there. When the evening sun is still warm, the crickets
chirp and the starlings warble. Cows lie in the grass of the fields and birds whose
names I dont know fly low over the fields. Fields of millet, sorghum, and corn stretch
toward the town and girls can be seen here and there working in the fields. In the
summer my nephew and I take the goats out and, while we walk on the dike, they
graze in the grass. When the international train that has just left the port makes the
turn around the mountain, it lets out a long whistle and the goats lift up their horns
and bristle their beards and bleat back at the train. I love that dike. And the fields. I
really miss them.
10

Sounding different than it would have if given from a stage, this lengthy
description of Namjuks home flowed away on the quiet water. And if the music
flowing from the records being played on the pleasure boats had been that of a
symphony orchestra and not ordinary popular songs, then Namjuks elegy for her
home would have sounded like the accompaniment to a country symphony.
It wasnt that he was completely captivated by this country symphony, but
he could keenly feel how powerful were the attachments she felt for another life, not
the one she was now living. Hyeonbo rowed the boat up the rapids between Nunra
and Baewol Islands feeling a renewed sense of resolve to find her the money to get
home. The water was shallow but the current strong, so he looked for a sandbar that
he could land the boat on.
Early autumn is pine mushroom season. Soon the dike will be crawling with
townspeople on their way to Solgol to pick the new mushrooms. Oh the joy of finding
the new mushrooms as they push their way out of the ground! On the way back down
the dike with my family, my basket full of mushrooms, their smell would fill the air
and permeate our clothes. I miss the smell of pine mushrooms even more than that of
the lilacs in Ile.
Even though he had never seen the place, as he listened to her talk about it he
thought it sounded like a place worthy of longing. He headed the boat for a sandy spit.
As he was trying to land the boat on the island, the sudden rocking motions jolted
Namjuk out of the reverie she had fallen into. The island looked inviting, entirely
green with a thick carpet of new grass growing between the poplar trees. Not wanting
to get her feet wet, Namjuk was standing on the gunwale getting ready to jump onto
the bank. Hyeonbo was in the back trying to steady the boat, but it was a long stretch
to the bank and as Namjuk stepped out, her foot landed on a patch of grass. The grass
was slippery causing her to lose her balance with one foot still in the boat. This
caused the boat to list heavily and Hyeonbo sensed the danger, but before he could do
anything Namjuk had landed in the water. Hyeonbo jumped in, shoes and all, and
pulled her up out of the water. Her body felt as cold and heavy as an armful of wet
laundry.
The days plans for a day of fun on the island were suddenly ruined. The
picnic had turned into a bath and, as they couldnt really mingle with the other people
on the island while they were dripping wet, they sought an isolated sunny spot. They
had no choice but to try to dry their clothes out somewhere where they wouldnt be
seen. Hyeonbo took off his shoes and trousers and hung them up, while Namjuk
stripped down to just her undergarments and laid her dress out on clump of grass in
the sunshine. If they had been at the beach in their swimsuits, it would not have
seemed so strange, but the sight of them both half naked and bedraggled like a couple
of chickens that had been hit by a wave was good for a laugh. What was more,
Namjuk was a pitiable sight standing there, her legs and shoulders bare and wet, and
underclothes clinging to her. She didnt seem shy about the situation, but Hyeonbo
found himself frequently averting his gaze.

11

Having no other options, they wasted away half the day like that waiting for
their clothes to dry and then, after the sun had set, they put on their still wet things
and rowed the boat back down the river giggling at each other.
Hyeonbo couldnt bring himself to send Namjuk home in her state so that day
became the first time that they were together until late into the night. Whether it was
something they had both thought about or totally unexpected, that night they shared
all the passion that a man and woman can share. The feelings were not stronger on
one side or the other, they both experienced the same emotions; and this was no
accident but the result of feelings that had been maturing for the past seven years now
flowing together. When he finally came out into the late night street, he felt an intense
fatigue that comes after visiting that shining world.
The entire next day, Hyeonbo stayed in his room thinking about what he had
experienced the night before. He wondered why the joining of feelings that had been
growing for seven years should suddenly burst forth like that. Was it that they had
been hiding those feelings up until now, testing their sincerity? Or was it that such
feelings needed some sort of catalyst to be released? It was a case of finally, after a
long wait, seizing the right moment to pull those feelings out and dust them off. It
seemed a stretch to call it love, but, then again the reason he couldnt rule love out
was that, even though what had happened had been a spontaneous scene from a one
act love play with no talk of the future, it had come about with the help of a long
history. Wondering if Namjuk felt the same way, Hyeonbos newly awakened male
desire caused him to harbor suspicions about the ease of her emotions. He wondered
what secrets had filled the parentheses of those last seven years of her life. Just as he
had sometimes had to fulfill his physical needs, he wondered if Namjuk had not
needed the same thing. He entertained other thoughts as well such as whether she had
been married and gotten a divorce, or whether there had been something between her
and Minsam. But when he took a step back and thought about it again, he realized that
such thoughts were the result of an excessive desire on his part for her to be pure and
that he had no right to expect such a thing. Whatever secrets were contained within
those parentheses, the parts of her life that were unknown to him were not something
he should concern himself with, he thought, and decided to be satisfied with the
affection she gave him, thus interpreting his own feelings as being broad and
generous.
Of course her affection was not being bought, but due to her difficult
circumstances, Hyeonbo felt an obligation to help her and so he renewed his efforts to
procure travel expenses for her. He felt that part of caring for her was to not try to
keep her by his side but to help her quickly return home as per her wishes.
He decided not to see her until he had put together the money for her trip so
after that night he did not go around to her place for a few days. But as he also was
practically destitute, there was really no way to come up with the money. He had
already hit up his friend Jungu with disappointing results, and he had no other friends
to whom he could make such a request. What was more, he had nothing of value that
he could sell. There was only one thing he could do, even though he knew he
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shouldnt. After waiting all day for his chance, he managed to smuggle his parents
savings account bankbook out of the house. Among their various accounts including
the bank and the Co-op, the postal savings account book was the easiest to grab and
so, after fabricating an authentication seal, he withdrew the appropriate amount of
money. However, with all the scrutiny that surrounded him, it took him two days to
pull off his caper. He was not free of remorse for this betrayal of his family, but he
tried to put a shine on it by telling himself that his love required such sacrifice and
service.
He worried that giving her this money the first time he saw her after that night
might be seen as compensation for her giving herself to him, but on the other hand, he
did feel a sense of pleasure and largess to have this money in his pocket. That
afternoon, Hyeonbo set off for the inn Namjuk was staying in with a spring in his step
and a song in his heart.
At the inn no one was about and he could find no trace of Namjuk. The room
had never had much in it, and now Hyeonbo could see with one glance that it was
completely empty. She must have gone out for the day he thought. Thinking he would
check the teahouse and the department store and go back in the evening, he noticed a
post card from her lying on his desk when he returned home.
Why didnt you come by these last few days? Did I do something to make
you mad? Ive only been causing you trouble so as soon as I got the money I needed I
decided to leave. I doubt if we will be able to meet again. I wish you all the best.
Yours, Namjuk.
The contents of that unexpected postcard hit him like a punch and he
immediately headed back to the inn. She seemed upset that he hadnt come round for
a few days, but what had caused her to suddenly pick up and leave? She said she had
come up with the money but where in the world did she suddenly get fifty won? Had
she ended up going to work as a hostess in a bar for a few days? These various
thoughts revolving around in his head, he once again opened the door to her room in
the inn and looked inside, but it was just as empty this time as it had been before. This
was as he expected but he noticed that even her bag was gone from the corner.
Chiding himself for his rash inattention on the first visit, this time he went to find the
inn owner to ask about what had happened.
The old woman who had been doing chores wiped her hands on the hem of her
skirt and looked as if she had some kind of knowledge that she was dying to share.
She came out of the yard and began to tell him about Namjuks sudden departure the
night before with a knowing smile on her face.
Is she an actress? A student maybe? With these modern girls you cant tell
just by looking at them.
Wondering what the hell she was rambling on about, Hyeonbo didnt like
where this was going but he had no choice but to listen in silence.
Well, she did kind of look like a student.
And then a sudden reversal:

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But she was an actress. Her behavior made me suspicious. Even if she looked
like a student, she sure didnt act like one, and it turns out sure enough that she was an
actress.
What about her behavior?
Well, thats how they say actresses are.
It seemed as if the old woman was going to go off on a tangent, so he changed
the subject.
Did she settle accounts for her room and board?
But his words only had the effect of forcing the cat from its bag. Words began
to pour out of her mouth like water from a fountain.
Its not even a matter of room and board. She had a wad of bills in her wallet.
And the way she got them was really something to see. The way she had the no-good
son of that millionaire wrapped around her little finger, shes a real professional. I
dont know whether that rich mans boy knew that about her or not, but he seemed
smitten with her at first sight and was more than happy to spend one night with her.
After one night she went from being penniless to having a wad of cash. She must have
gotten what she needed because after one night with him she took off the very next
day.
This was a bolt out of the blue. He was so surprised and dumbfounded by
what he heard that he wanted to stick his fist in the old womans mouth to stop her
from talking. However, assuming she wasnt crazy, she was probably telling the truth,
and Hyeonbo just stood there, mouth open in amazement.
Who is this son of a rich man that you are talking about?
His voice has suddenly begun to tremble.
Dont you know? Deacon Kims son. Everyone knows that good-for-nothing.
Hyeonbo became dizzy and the world swam before his eyes. There was
nothing else to say and he suddenly could not stand the sight of the hideous old
woman a moment longer so he hurried from the inn without a backward glance.
So thats where she got the travel money.
His lip curled of its own accord and he found he was laughing at himself in
scorn. The son of Deacon Kim was the same low life that had asked Namjuk to dance
a few days ago in that bar. Hyeonbo wondered how he had gotten to her so easily in
such a short span of time. Even if it was only to secure travel funds, what was the
difference between her and a common bar girl? The terrible thought caused a shiver to
run through his body and he felt like plopping down right where he was and crying.
Had she changed so much? It seemed that he could see exactly what had filled
the parentheses of those seven years, and he now thought that he had really been
taken in by her. His head filled with such thoughts, he wandered aimlessly down the
street.
Depressed and ill at ease, for a number of days he felt like he was going to go
crazy. He regretted ever having met her seven years ago, and thought with disgust
about the attempt to make a theatrical group. But when he realized that it hadnt just
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been his heart that had been deceived but his body as well, he really did almost go
mad.
The symptoms started to appear the very next day, and as Hyeonbo had never
experienced anything like that before, the sudden visitation was a shock to him. In the
first place, the pain was excruciating. The physical symptoms were disgusting, and
when he urinated it felt as if his flesh was being torn open. So this is the disease that
everyone talks about, he thought. The realization of what it was caused such a strong
sense of embarrassment that he couldnt bring himself to go to the hospital. So he
went to a pharmacy, where they sent to see a doctor. The diagnosis was as expected,
and so he had no choice but to stand in front of the doctor and begin the humiliating
treatment while the image of Namjuk floated up into his distorted mind.
Had Namjuk been aware that she was deceiving both his heart and his body?
The initially deep impression and feelings of gratitude now had to be seen as a kind of
emotional fraud. Who could have guessed that the part of that girls life that had
started seven or eight years ago with such beautiful and healthy dreams would so
easily become sick and damaged? He could not have imagined that the girl with such
firm dreams would, seven years later, become a lady of the evening. The once
beautiful flower had not only begun to wither but had become sick as well. When he
thought of the Namjuk that, seven years ago, had studied by the light of a lamp in the
backroom of that book store and then, saying she would join the struggle, would grab
whoever was at hand and bombard them with half understood theories, only to go to
school the next day and become a leader of the movement pulling any and all half
interested classmates into a room to engage in endless discussion and debate,
Hyeonbo could not help but feel a powerful sense of nostalgia. And he would
momentarily forget the physical discomfort and his resentment, overcome with a
sense of pity for what had happened to Namjuk. Thinking that every dream has a
number of possible paths it can follow, he became overwhelmingly depressed when
he thought that he had been shown by Namjuk an example of the most deviant and yet
pitiable one possible.
Hyeonbo ended up having to use the fifty won that he had procured by
devious means for Namjuks travel expenses to pay for his treatment, and while
cursing the fate that had brought that money into his hands, he went into a bar in the
early evening to drink away his frustration. And in a painfully ironic twist, he came
face to face with the neer-do-well son of the deacon who had caused all the trouble.
His brazenly unctuous appearance always set Hyeonbos teeth on edge, but if he had
been what Namjuk wanted, well then that was that. Besides, he didnt have either the
strength or the courage to bash his face in, and this thought deepened his depression.
The man recognized Hyeonbo and inexplicably made his way to Hyeonbos table
where he sat across from him, drink glass in hand and an odd smile on his face.
Since we are both here, why dont we have a drink?
Before Hyeonbo could say anything, he had summoned the hostess to fill
Hyeonbos glass. The smell of pine emanating from the clear alcohol in the glass told
him it was gin and this irony as well seemed to be mocking him.
15

I might as well be up front with you, theres no reason to hide anything. That
was a very expensive bit of fun for me. Im not bragging but Ive had quite a bit of
experience and I never saw this one coming. I was completely taken in. I dont regret
her emptying my wallet, but this physical discomfort is too much. Its humiliating
having to go to the hospital everyday, and since they said beer helps Im in here
drinking it every night. God only knows how long it will take to get better.
Looking at the wry smile distorting his face, Hyeonbo was at a loss not being
able to either teach him a lesson or commiserate with him.
It looks like we are comrades whether we want to be or not. So, lets forget
everything else and drink together tonight.
So saying he held up his glass.
Hyeonbo wanted to throw his glass in the mans face and leave the place, but
with the awkward look of a man that can neither laugh nor cry, he had no choice but
to sit where he was.

16