Ten

persuasive

answers
to the

question

why not

gay
marriage?
by Glenn T. Stanton
Senior Analyst for Marriage and Sexuality
Director of Social Research and Cultural Affairs
Focus on the Family

Were not going to win at the ballot box until we

start winning at the water cooler and in the
church pews.
Stephen Fisher, communications director of the Human Rights Campaign,
in Time, December 20, 2004.

Question #1

How Will My Same-Sex

Marriage Hurt Your Marriage?

If this were only about

your family

My son and daughters

are essential
for their families!

Question #2

Is Same-Sex Marriage Like

Inter-racial Marriage?

NO!
Racism is about keeping races apart
and that is wrong.
Marriage is about bringing the
genders together and that is good.

Interracial marriage affirms

marriage!

Same-sex marriage redefines

marriage!

 Marriage has nothing to do with

race.
Marriage has everything to do with
bringing men and women together!

Does any data say

this is harmful?

but thousands of
studies show
intentionally
motherless and
fatherless homes
are harmful.

Question #3

Where Does It Stop?

 Andrew Sullivan says, The right to marry

whomever you want is a fundamental civil
right.
What about Cody Rogahn and Jonathan
Yarbrough?

As Cheryl Jacques, formerly of Human

Rights Campaign, says
Because I don't approve of that.

CNN Crossfire (February 24, 2004), Transcript #022401CN.V20.

Full Acceptance Will Be Mandatory!

Speech Control Is Next!

Swedish Pastor threatened with jail

Canadian activists successfully passed C-250

Children need a mom and dad = Hate Speech?

Governor Romney is denigrating gay families,

practicing divisive, mean-spirited politicsby
insisting that every child has a right to a mother
and a father.
Not fair, governor, The Boston Globe, March 3, 2005

Whats in Store for School Children

Heather has Two Mommies in K-12
Pictures and storylines in text books change
Boston 8th graders get explicit sex charts

Ms. Allen, an 8th-grade teacher, explains lesbian sex to

her students thoroughly and explicitly with a chart.
Her response to parents complaints?
Give me a break. Its legal now.
Melissa Block and Tovia Smith, Massachusetts Schools Weigh Gay Topics, National Public
Radio (NPR), September 13, 2004.

Impact on Religious Freedom...

Activists will pressure churches to perform samesex weddings.

Question #4

Cant Some People Have

Religious Marriage and Others
Have Civil Marriage?

Marriage Precedes
and Exceeds
the Church and the State

The Public Purpose of Marriage

There is scarcely a dollar that state and
federal government spends on social programs
that is not driven in large part by family
fragmentation: crime, poverty, drug abuse,
teen pregnancy, school failure, mental and
physical health problems.
Maggie Gallagher
Leading Thinker and Writer on Marriage

Maggie Gallagher, The Stakes: Why We Need Marriage, National Review Online, July 14, 2003.

Question #5

Does Marriage Provide

a Common Good?

Spin a globe

Why do we find this universally?

Who enforces it?

Every culture
needs marriage
No culture needs
same-sex marriage

4 Primary Jobs of Marriage

1) Socializes men
2) Regulates sexuality
3) Protects women
4) Provides a mom and a dad

4 Primary Jobs of Marriage

1) Socializes Men
Marriage links men to women

4 Primary Jobs of Marriage

2) Regulates sexuality

Every ongoing society must have

standards for sexual behavior

4 Primary Jobs of Marriage

3) Protects women

A societys most serious problem

is the unattached male.

4 Primary Jobs of Marriage

4) Provides a mom and a dad

This is needed in every society

Every society must

encourage marriage
makes men productive
regulates sexuality
protects women
gives children a mom and dad

Question #6

Is it Healthy to Put
Children in
Experimental Families?

No society at any time,

primitive or developed
ancient or modern
has ever raised a generation of
children in same-sex homes.

Same-sex marriage
is a vast, untested
social experiment on children.

From the Lesbian Parenting

Book
Our children are not the only
ones who may find themselves in
uncharted territory....
it can be exhilarating and
sometimes scary to be painting
a new and different lesbian
family tree
Source: D. Merilee Clunis and G. Dorsey Green, The
Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families
and Raising Kids, 2nd ed. (New York: Seal Press, 2003),
p. 60.

Our children are not the only

ones who may find themselves in
uncharted territory....
it can be exhilarating and
sometimes scary to be painting
a new and different lesbian
family tree
Source: D. Merilee Clunis and G. Dorsey Green, The
Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families
and Raising Kids, 2nd ed. (New York: Seal Press, 2003),
p. 60.

It will be interesting to
see over time whether
lesbian sons have an
easier or harder time
developing their gender
identity than do boys with
live-in fathers.

Source: D. Merilee Clunis and G. Dorsey Green, The Lesbian

Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Kids,
2nd ed. (New York: Seal Press, 2003), p. 243.

But the same-sex family

warning label reads
it will be interesting to see.

Question #7

But Havent Medical and

Psychological Groups
Said Same-Sex
Parenting is Fine?

From the

American Academy of Pediatrics

there is a considerable body of professional literature that

suggests children with parents who are homosexual have the
same advantages and the same expectations for health,
adjustment and development as children whose parents are
heterosexual.
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/archives/febsamesex.htm

How did the AAP come to

this decision?

AAP Membership Response

The AAP has received more messages almost all of
them CRITICAL from members about the (same-sex
parenting) statement than it has EVER received on any
other topic...This is a serious problem as it means it will
become harder to continue the work we have been doing to
use the AAP as a vehicle for positive change.

(email to select AAP members from Ellen Perrin, Feb. 15,

2002, emphasis added)

AAP Membership Response

The AAP has received more messages almost all of them CRITICAL
from members about the (same-sex parenting) statement than it has
EVER received on any other topic...This is a serious problem as it
means it will become harder to continue the work we have been doing
to use the AAP as a vehicle for positive change.

Science or activism?

Professional organizations
cannot make such statements!

We have not had

the experiment yet!

Research exploring the

diversity of parental
relationships among gay
and lesbian parents is
just beginning.
The small and nonrepresentative samples
studied and the relatively
young age of the children
suggests some reserve.
Ellen Perrin, Technical Report: Coparent and Second-Parent Adoption by
Same-Sex Parents, Pediatrics, 109 (2002) 341-343.

Regarding same-sex parenting

Thus far, no work has

compared childrens
long-term achievement
in education,
occupation, income
and other domains of
life.
Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz, (How) Does the Sexual Orientation
of Parents Matter? American Sociological Review, 66 (2001) 159-183

How can we conclude

anything
when the research
is just beginning?

Question #8

How Do We Know What

Kind of Families
Children Need?

Family experiments over

the past 30 years have
taught us a lot

Heres What We Know

Thus, it is not simply the presence of

two parents, as some have assumed,
but the presence of two biological parents
that seems to support child development.
Child Trends Research Brief, June 2002, p. 1.

Heres What We Know

Most researchers now agree

that together these studies support the notion that,
on average, children do best when raised by their two
married, biological parents
Center for Law and Social Policy, May 2003, p. 1

The Research is Clear

Same-sex families are less
than best because they deny
children their mother or father.

Question #9

Is the Same-Sex Family

About the Needs of Children
or the Wants of Adults?

Lessons from the

Worlds Most Famous Lesbian Mom

because Im the
kind of mommy who
wants another mommy.
Diane Sawyer (Anchor), Rosies Story: For the Sake of the Children: Rosie
ODonnells Crusade on Behalf of Gay Parents Seeking to Adopt Children, ABC
News: Primetime, (March 14, 2004).

Parker has never asked:

Momma, why cant we have all the
rights and protections of marriage?

But he has asked,

Mommy, why cant I have a daddy?

Similarities in Same-Sex
and Divorce Revolution
We embarked on a
gigantic social
experiment without
any idea about how
the next generation
would be affected

Judith Wallerstein, et al., The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce:

A 25 Year Landmark Study, (Hyperion, 2000), p. xxii.

If the truth be told, and

if we are able to face it, the
history of divorce in our
society is replete with
unwarranted assumptions
that adults have made
about children simply
because such assumptions
are congenial to adult
needs and wishes.
Judith Wallerstein, et al., The Unexpected Legacy of
Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, (Hyperion, 2000), p.
xxii.

How different is
Rosie than the
man who seeks
a trophy wife?

No society anywhere
has been able to sustain itself with
a buffet-like mentality to family.

Question #10

Does Gender Really Matter?

Same-sex marriage advocates have

a Mr. Potato Head view of
humanity.

male, female
mother, father
husband, wife
are NOT merely preferences!

This is a very anti-human view

of humanity

The two most loving moms

cannot be a daddy
to a little boy or a little girl!

The two most loving dads

cannot be a momma
to a little boy or a little girl!

Children need a whole lot more

than love from any two adults.

Conclusions
Marriage is not just about the couple
Children should not be subject to
experimental families
Research does not support
same-sex families

Conclusions
Families that reject male or female are not
good families.
There is no logical stopping point
Society needs natural marriage; it has no
need for same-sex marriage!

Recommended Resources

Available through Focus on the Family

(1-800-A-FAMILY)

Other research and articles at:

www.focusonsocialissues.org