Enchanted Forest Herald

Witch Hazelnut caught in fling with

Gingerbread Man!
Over the weekend, noted gingerbread
architect Witch Hazelnut was exposed in
sordid love nest with the Gingerbread Man.
Sources say Hazelnut's gingerbread
building prowess attracted the Gingerbread
Man after he lost a chunk of his leg in the milk
flood of '74. A young Gingie was living with his
family in Gingerbread Valley when the milk silo
burst on Farmer Dan's dairy farm. The
disaster, aptly named the milk flood, took life
and limb and destroyed countless properties
as it ran through Gingerbread Valley
unchecked. Though Farmer Dan was held
liable and made to pay damages, many like the
Gingerbread Man were left disfigured.
According to a source close to the couple,
Witch Hazelnut's superb gingerbread cottage is
what first caught Gingie's eye as he roamed
the Enchanted Forest looking for work. After
discovering Hazelnut herself was the architect,
Gingie offered to work in exchange for a
gingerbread graft that would repair his
damaged leg. Always looking for a challenge,
Hazelnut agreed and love blossomed as the
two began a torrid affair amongst the flour
sacks and gingerbread spices of Hazelnut's
bakery storeroom.
But is it love or something sinister?
Spinster Miss Muffet, who lives down the lane,
has this to say: Everyone knows old Hazelnut
was desperate for a child but no man would go
near her! The only thing that enticed young
Gingie was the idea of having a whole leg
again. Once she got her claws in him he had
no choice but to do what she wanted! Miss
Muffet went on to speculate that the
Gingerbread Man needed a bit of help in
keeping up with the amorous Witch Hazelnut
as rumours around the forest spread like
wildfire. I heard from Simple Simon that
Gingie has been getting deliveries of self-rising
flour, Miss Muffet smugly shares before giving
a conspiratorial wink. When confronted by the
rumour of there possibly being a bun in the
oven a confused Witch Hazelnut commented
that there were always buns in the oven as
buns were a popular bakery item.