Mackenzie Shivers

Stephen Sellers
9th Grade Humanities
November 18, 2016

Socializing Stupidity
Going to the same school for years can be tough. You are socialized to be this perfect
person. You cant grow and shape your own personality. I had this experience. This particular
school pushed me into a corner where I could only be considered stupid, weak, the kid who
hangs out with emotional girls, and has no ability; and this is what I call gender stereotypes. The
following story is one of my experiences at this school and how it has socialized me.
The story begins with positive energy. Ah, seventh grade... I sighed with satisfaction. The
brick building in front of me stretched out like a snake; making you think that it was larger than
it actually was. The rolling hills of grass were perfectly manicured from the day before. My ears
rang from the silence in the air, being early to school had that specialty. I could feel the water
molecules from the humidity clinging to my outfit for the day - a dingy yellow polo with my
schools logo on it and the worst pair of khaki pants. I walked in, hopping on my toes ready for
the day to start. Although my hands hurt from wringing them so hard at home, I was finally back
and ready for what was to come.
I scanned my schedule biting my lip. I raced over to one of my best friends; her locker
was dull and colorless the same as everyone else's. What did you get!? she asked me, her eyes
giving away a worried look. I looked down and read my list. Yes! She exclaimed while jumping
up and down. We were both excited that we both had almost all the same classes. The one class
that was different was Math Enrichment. My friend looked at my list and scrunched her smirky
face, trying to hide her pleasure. You got Math Enrichment?! (Math Enrichment was a class
where students strengthened their math skills.)
Later that afternoon, in the last class of the day, I was in Math Enrichment. I began biting
my lip again, worried about how this class would turn out. It was four others and me who were
going to enjoy this class for the rest of the year. I sat down, and our teacher began to explain
what the class was about and why we were there. Time passed slowly, and the hands on the clock
stopped moving. My leg began to bounce up and down. Bong, bong, bong. I moved my head
slightly in a backwards and forwards motion conveying the tick-tock, tick-tock noise in my head.
I heard the bell ring loud and clear, and finally, it was time to go. I began to gather all of
my belongings. As I turned around in my chair, there he was - the new kid in our class that year.
A boy, who had dark skin and a strong accent, was also tall and towered over me like a person to
an ant. You Mackenzie? he asked. I said, Yes, and tried to skirt around him. He looked at me
sternly and said, Mackenzie, you stupid. I felt myself stumble a little in my thought, but I kept
on walking out the door. I got to my locker and placed all my belongings into my backpack. I
was biting my cheeks really hard to make sure I didnt cry. I grabbed my things, walked down
the cramped hallways, found my sister, and walked home.
The next day, my outfit was relatively the same, except for the change in color of my
shirt. I shook off the other day and was ready for a new start. It was another beautiful day where
the birds sang a happy tune and the grass was just as green. The humidity wasnt so clingy. Here

I go into the school again, hoping for a better day. The morning was brand new start, I was able
to go through my first classes without any trouble from anyone.
I was back at my locker grabbing my things for my next class when I heard the words
again, Mackenzie, you stupid. I turned around and there again was the new kid calling me out.
He snickered, raised an eyebrow, then made his exit. I began biting my cheeks again to hold the
tears in. This was the second time he had told me this and it stung a little more this time. I had to
get to class, so the only thing left to do was move on.
This one boy continued to say this comment to me the rest of the year, and it didnt
matter who heard it. At some points I was even in front of the teachers, in perfect hearing range,
and he would call me this. They would do nothing except turn an ear and pretend like it never
happened. It really started getting to me. I was tired of hearing this, and I was believing it as
well. The facts were right there - I always had a tutor in some sort of way and I was in Math
Enrichment class - I guess that meant I was really stupid.
The next year we moved. I was devastated. I wanted to continue with the school I was
going to. Why did we have to change to a whole different state and school? Little did I know that
this next year would be my best school experience I had ever had.
The summer was almost over and we were up in Vallecito, the crisp air blowing around
me as I stared out onto the river before me. I had just finished a phone call with one of my
friends (at least what I thought was a friend at the time). I took a big breath in, then let it all out
at one time and continued the process. My mom came out to me and said, Honey, I just realized
we need to figure out what school you are going to, because Bayfield starts next week, and
Mountain Middle School hasnt responded if you have gotten in yet! (Mountain Middle School
is a charter school where you have to go through a lottery system to get in) I felt my eyes almost
pop out of their sockets. How could that be? The summer was gone?!! We began searching
online for a good school in Bayfield, but none of them caught our interest like Mountain did. A
couple days later we heard that I got in, and I was so grateful. The idea of projects being the
bases of learning was inspiring.
It was time to begin school, I was nervous, my hands hurt once again from wringing them
so hard. I was to nervous to even speak. I kept looking down at my outfit afraid I would get into
trouble because I was wearing exactly what I would wear on Saturdays and Sundays after church
- A nice T-Shirt and jeans. Not wearing a polo caught me off guard making me feel self conscious
about if I were doing something wrong. Walking into my class I was greeted by my teachers and
felt a great sense of welcomeness. I then knew how school was suppose to feel.
A few days later I finally came up with the courage to talk to a tall girl with short blond
hair. I had met her a few days before school started and it had been a struggle for me to be able to
talk to her. I would be the creepy girl in the back staring at her, trying to place different names
that I have heard. Her generosity to inviting me into a friendship was heart warming. She was
okay with me expressing myself and being the true me. We were okay with letting one another
know if something wasnt quite right, and would fix it as a team.
A few days after that I decided to sit next to a girl with strawberry blond curly hair, she
had glasses that lined her face perfectly and was a bit taller than me. I had seen her at school

every morning because we would both get there really early. So I took a leap of faith and began
talking with her every morning. Soon the talking turned into friendship and she joined my group
of friends.
In Math, a month later, a girl with brown hair asked me if I had a pencil. I lended her my
pencil, she smiled and said thank you. Later she asked for help on her math. I took this by
surprise, someone was asking me for help with figuring out a math problem. I said of course and
came over to help, surprisingly I knew exactly what to do and was able to give support in what
was needed. I was always the one needing help, but I wasnt that same person anymore; instead I
was flying by.
All these girls I met became my friends, and I was slowly able to bring them all together
to make one small little group where we all accepted one another. It was an amazing change, my
friends were okay to let me be me. I didnt feel cramped or pressured to do something they
wanted. It was okay to be smart (and I was), and enjoy others company. Everyday I would come
out of school with the biggest smile that my parents fell in love with seeing every afternoon.
Seeing the progression from the first school to Mountain Middle School, I now see the
different ways in which I have been socialized both positively and negatively. If you have ever
taken a look at the cycle of socialization, it goes through stages. The beginning stage is when you
are born into a set of roles and expectations.
The second stage is called the first socialization. This step is when you begin to be
socialized by your parents or the people you most trust. [Your parents] may not have thought
critically about what they are teaching you, and may be unconsciously passing on what was
taught to them [when they were your age].
The next stage is called institutional and cultural socialization. This is the stage where
you begin to act differently because of what you are hearing around you from social media,
friends, teachers, and all of the places that are outside of your home. Most of the time, these
things you hear will conflict with what your parents have told you through the first two stages.
An example of this would be my parents told me I was smart. Then I jumped into the real world
outside of my home and I was told I wasnt smart. Then, I took it upon myself and began acting
differently.
The fourth stage is called enforcement. This is the time when norms are enforced in
subtle or blatant ways. How would you know you are in this stage? From the actions of stage
three, you begin to try things out. An example of this is if you were to go against the law you
would be punished with something like jail time. That would be a negative reinforcement of a
norm. Let's say you come home with all As on your report card. You may get rewarded, and that
would be a positive reinforcement. This stage is when you find out the norms, mores, folkways,
and taboos that are set up in our society, and it may be different from other countries.
Results is the fifth stage of this cycle where you see the negative sides of how you were
socialized through your family, friends, peers, and the media. By participating in our roles as
targets we reinforce stereotypes collude in our own demise, and perpetuate the system of
oppression. What Bobbie Harro is trying to say here is that that by being a target your results
will be very oppressed because you dont get the dominion.

The second to last stage is called action, action keeps the cycle running. This is the stage
where you choose to stay safe and you do nothing about the situation at hand. Most of the time
targets will do this stage because they have been victimised by the agents for too long they have
lost their voice.
What brings the whole cycle together is the core. The core is what your biggest fears,
ignorance, confusions, and insecurities, come from. You learn to adapt to these just at the
beginning of the stages, but later on your core fears grow and shape who you are. Why do they
shape who we are? Well, because fear is what helps guides us through our life, keeping us going
everyday.
To end the cycle off the last stage which is called Direction of change, if you choose this
stage during your cycle of socialization you will break the cycle. To take the road: direction of
change you have to take a stand for your rights, and begin to question the norms and values set
into place around our society.
How does this apply to my story at all? The very first story I talk about is my terrible
experience at this school Principia, let's call this socializing stupidity. I feel like this story was at
the stage of enforcement that is turning into results. In this situation I am considered a Target
(Little or nothing is known [about targets] because they have not been considered important
enough to study [or look up to]. Some target groups are virtually invisible while others are
defined by misinformation or very limited information.) Since I was a target, this boy who was
an agent was able to call me out and make fun of me which made me feel small and worthless.
This happens at a day to day experience with everyone that is apart of the target group. Now
what really makes me a target? I am a girl, a girl is apart of the target group because we are
stereotyped to be emotional human beings, that are only suppose to cook and clean. Then there is
a saying out there that you have probably heard, Dumb Blonds that's probably where this one
new student and the teachers I had, thought I was dumb. Why did we make up something so
ridiculous like this phrase, you're probably wondering? If you watch a movie, the mean girl is
always blond. Or they have dumb kids that are always blond as well. In class we watched the
movie Mean Girls in that movie is a perfect representation of what I am trying to get at. The
top mean girl is blond, and one of her side kicks is blond as well and extremely dumb. Learning
about these stereotypes of women and girls we found that at the beginning the men came up
with the ideas, the men did the work, the men voted, the men made the movies, which brings me
to the only idea is that men made this phrase up. Now having this understanding I now know
why I felt discriminated against at some points in my life: because of being a target.
Later on in the story I transfer schools and have a better experience and blossom into an
expressive person. This part of the story I think we took the direction for change. We changed
schools after standing up for what was right at this school then moved forward. When targets do
this the cycle is broken. I began a new positive cycle where I was socialized to be intelligent and
be true to myself.
Each of us are socialized in different ways, and a lot of it seems dependant upon how we
turn out after our beginning stage. We can choose to break the cycle of socialization or continue
the cycle. I am grateful I chose to break the cycle because I didnt believe a boy who called me

stupid. I constantly see people being stereotyped on a day to day experience. I think it is
important if we notice this, to correct our own thoughts and not make that judgment. All of us
will go through the cycle of socialization and have ups and downs, but if we can turn it around
and learn from it, we will be able to boost each other up. We wont just look at each others
gender, skin, hair, intelligence, or religion. We will begin to appreciate one another for just being
themselves just like my friends did when I came to Mountain Middle School.

MLA:
Harro, Bobbie. "The Cycle of Socialization." Scribd. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2016.