My Proposal for Improving Personal Communication

Submitted by Melissa Hansen

Salt Lake Community College
Comm 1010 Period 4
25 October 2016

Communication occurs in countless ways throughout a day, whether the communicators

are aware or not. Several misunderstandings could be resolved if people communicated more
clearly. Personally, there are many areas I can improve in to make communication more
effective. Two include listening more attentively to those I come in contact with and using
clearer, more direct words to convey my intended meaning. Both of these allow a message to
flow between the communicators freely without disruption. By choosing to listen sincerely and
communicate directly, I can avoid misunderstandings and improve my relationships with my
family, friends, and classmates.

Definition of Problem
One problem I have in miscommunication is listening inattentively. Preoccupation is an
issue with listening. Business and personal concerns can make it difficult to keep your mind on
the subject at hand (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 63). I often have other distractions, including
homework, I am thinking about, which prevent me from being fully engaged in the conversation.
Message overload also interferes with communication. Its hard to listen carefully when people
keep dropping in to give you quick messages (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 63). These messages alert
you when they arrive and demand immediate attention. This creates multitasking, which is much
more difficult than focusing on one piece of information at a time. When I start focusing on my
cell phone at the same time I am listening to someone else, I eventually focus on one and not the
other. Egocentrism is a main reason for ineffective listening. For example, when I am
preoccupied, I believe what I am thinking about is more important than what the other person has
to say. There is a negative impact and cost of [every] type of distraction (Distractions).

These habits prevent listening, which means that I do not receive all the instruction I need and I
cant help others by listening to their problems.
Unclear communication is also a problem in my interaction with others. Ambiguity
comes when the words a person says can be interpreted more than one way. [H]ow you say
something can be as important as what you say (Robinson, Segal, and Smith). One way I can
reduce confusion is avoiding equivocal terms, which have two different, but equally acceptable
or common, meanings (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 79). Context can generally give clues to the
intended meaning, but I want to be entirely clear so my message cannot be easily misinterpreted.
High level abstractions can create problems because they are often subject to a wide variety of
interpretations (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 81). Avoiding this ambiguous language can help the
listener understand my message without confusion. While there are sometimes direct
communication is not the best choice, often it is better to avoid misinterpretation. A form of
direct communication I would specifically like to improve is leaving out filler words such as
like and um, because they can easily become a distraction in clear communication. If I am
completely focused on my conversation, I can avoid using filler words in my vernacular,
however they often appear in my everyday language. Leaving out filler words will help listeners
stay focused on what I am saying as well as using time effectively to communicate.

Resources and Constraints

A few resources I have include the textbook, which provides many tips and rules for
effective listening and direct communication, and friends and family. The textbook gives specific
strategies to improve communication skills, such as noticing a speakers nonverbal cues which
may tell you more than his or her words (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 71). My family rarely uses
filler words, and so when I spend my time around them, it is easier to avoid filler words. My

friends provide a time for me to practice effective listening and communication because I interact
with them many times each day. They are also a constraint, however, because they often use filler
words and I fall into the habit when I spend more time around them. Another constraint is time,
because I am busy and it is difficult to dedicate time for listening to others as there is so much to
get done.

Recommendations
My goal is to develop mindful listening, which involves giving careful and thoughtful
attention and responses to the messages we receive (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 66). On the same
page, the book offers the suggestion to try to understand the speaker rather than just obtain
information to benefit the listener. As a listener, I should avoid interrupting and listen more than
talk. If I am a good listener, what others say will become more important at the moment than
other worries and my own ideas. A good way for me to improve is to ask questions and
paraphrase based on what the other person said. This shows them I am listening and that I care
about the speakers thoughts. It also provides clarification for what the speaker said so there are
fewer misinterpretations. Immediacy, such as more direct eye gaze, more forward lean, more
relaxed posture, positive facial expression, and warmer vocal qualities, shows interest as well,
and can all help me be a better listener (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 101). I want to reduce distractions,
including putting away my phone when others are talking to me. I will plan where and when to
listen to someone and switch off external distractions (Distractions).
One step to speaking more directly is to be aware of times when my listener is confused
and be ready to clarify. The language that confuses others should be avoided. Using low-level
abstractions, specific concrete statements that refer directly to objects or events that can be
oberserved (Adler & Elmhorst, p. 80). For most people, these words are understood the same

way, and so create less ambiguous communication. Other words, such as relative words, are also
ambiguous, and avoiding them communicates specific details. Sometimes I am wordy in how I
make my point and continue talking. However, I should say what I need to, then stop talking,
even if it leaves a silence in the room (Robinson, Segal, and Smith). I will be aware of my use
of filler words and limit the inessential words I regularly use. The biggest step, however, is
simply practicing communicating directly.

Conclusion
Overall, if I listen more intentively and communicate more clearly, I will be able to
overcome the problems that arise with inattentive listening and distraction as well as using
indirect language. Although it takes effort, making these changes will help me receive the
information I need to as well as listen to others who need to talk to someone. I can show I care
more for the person I am communicating with both by showing I am paying attention and by not
wasting peoples time with ambiguous language that needs clarification and uses unnecessary
words. These goals will make me a more effective communicator and influence others lives for
good.

Works Cited
Adler, R & J. Elmhorst (2012). Communicating at Work (SLCC Custom Edition). Boston:
McGraw Hill.
"Distractions as Roadblocks to Listening." DirecTutor.com. N.p., 2010. Web. 25 Oct. 2016.
Robinson, Lawrence, Jeanne Segal, PhD, and Melinda Smith, MA. "Effective Communication."
Helpguide.org. N.p., Oct. 2016. Web. 25 Oct. 2016.