JFK

JR.

John
The

Ridiculously handsome, yesbut

also kind, down-to-earth,
hilarious and nobodys fool. 17 years
after his death, John F. Kennedy
Jr.s close friends look back

WeLoved
By ELIZABETH McNEIL

44

August 1, 2016 PEOPLE

says former Grateful Dead lyricist John Perry Barlow. It was not him at all. Hoping to set the record
straight, some of his closest confidants participated in a Spike TV documentary, I Am JFK Jr.,
airing Aug. 1, and are now opening up to People.
When you watch the lm, you cant help but think,
What if? says its director, Derik Murray. Johns
friends wonder that too, but mostly they value the
many ways he enriched their lives. Its nice to
remember how great he was, says nancier Chris
Oberbeck, a former housemate, and to share it.

JFK Jr. (above in

1998 with wife
Carolyn Bessette
Kennedy and right
in 1980) didnt
want to be behind
bulletproof
glass, says
Sasha Chermayeff,
a friend of two
decades. He
wanted to
feel connected to
being alive.

FROM LEFT: JFK COLLECTION/ZUMA PRESS; RON GALELLA/WIREIMAGE

hen the small plane John F.

Kennedy Jr. was piloting
plunged into the Atlantic on
July 16, 1999, killing him at
age 38 along with his wife,
Carolyn Bessette, 33, and her sister Lauren, 34, the
world mourned yet another tragedy in a family that
often seemed cursed. His friends mourned something more: the loss of a man who was warmer,
funnier and far more complex than the public
knew. His image was this John John cartoon,

Americas Son

1. Mom Jackie (in

1963) called him
Angel, recalls
CNN correspondent
Christiane Amanpour.
You could see
the love and pride
shining out of her
eyes. Of course
shed be irritated by
his messiness, his
forgetfulness, but
nobody could stay
mad with John.
2. John (with JFK at
the White House in
1963) was acutely
aware of where his
father stood in history
but was in no way
paralyzed by that,
says Brian Steel.
3. John with Caroline
in 1977. Both she
and his mother
always encouraged
him to be himself,
says Oberbeck.

HIS FATHERS SON

John told me, One thing I rememberthats not
just something impressed on me by my mother or
the photosis my father used to hide candy in his
desk in the Oval Office, and I would crawl around
in there looking for it. former Clinton aide and
CNN contributor Paul Begala

John brought his fathers leather chair from the

Oval Office to our fraternity house. Sometimes
hed swivel around and joke about who hed have
in his [future] Administration. Hed say, Oberbeck, you might be an aideand then hed start
laughing. He had this thing of who would be where
in his Administrationit was a running joke.
Chris Oberbeck

His fathers assassination colors everything.

One day I was walking with John and my son, who
was then 3, and I said, Hes exactly the same age
you were when your father was killed. And John
said, You never get over it.

He was
very into
psychotherapy
he really
did work
on himself
that way.
He said he
was proud
that he was
facing his
demons
SASHA
CHERMAYEFF

He came to our Austin office around 1996, and h

he
wanted to fax something. He asked for a hand, and
this woman looks up and theres John F. Kennedy
Jr. in her le room. I kid you not, she hyperventilated. People had to come help her. Paul Begala
A MAN OF THE PEOPLE . . .
John took the subway all the time. If someone
came up to him, he would often say hello, there
was no irritation. Brian Steel, former assistant district attorney, now CNBC executive vice president

. . . WITH FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

He had a irtation with Madonnathey saw each
other a few times. She teased him and she was
irreverent, and he liked it. Then it kind of faded,
but they stayed friendly. a friend

Closer Than
Brothers

Andover classmate Sasha Chermayeff

A RELUCTANT HUNK
Anything about him being a sex symbol made him
so uncomfortable. I remember I was interviewing
for an assistant to be my backup. I told John, You
should meet the girls too, and he said, Every
time they walk in here, they look like theyre going
to throw up. Its too embarrassing! You make the
decision. PR strategist RoseMarie Terenzio, Johns
longtime assistant

46

August 1, 2016 PEOPLE

1965

1994

JFK Jr. and his cousin

Anthony Radziwill (son
of Jackies sister Lee
and Prince Stanislaw
Radziwill) were hilarious
together, says RoseMarie
Terenzio. Anthony
would call the office and
ask, Is Prince Charming
available? and John
would say, Is this the
anointed prince?

LEFT PAGE, CLOCKWISE FROM BOTTOM LEFT: ALBERT MCCABE/EXPRESS/GETTY IMAGES; MARK SHAW/MPTV; CECIL STOUGHTON/WHITE HOUSE/JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY LIBRARY, BOSTON; RON
GALELLA/WIREIMAGE; ERIC WEISS; RIGHT PAGE, FROM TOP: PHILIP RAMEY/CORBIS/GETTY IMAGES; REX SHUTTERSTOCK; EVAN AGOSTINI/GETTY IMAGES; LARRY BUSACCA/CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES

I was working in the White House when the Monica Lewinsky scandal was going on. I had a fax
machine, which very few people had the number
to. It starts kicking in, and theres no cover sheet,
just a pageit was John. It just said, Dear Mr.
President, I sat under that desktheres barely
room for a 3-year-old, much less a 21-year-old
intern. Cheers, J.K. Typical John. I showed the
President, and he laughed his butt off. Paul Begala
BRAINS AND BRAWN
BUT NO COORDINATION
I think he was slightly misunderstood because he
was such a sweetheartpeople think anybody thats
been through so much and theyre still this happygo-lucky person must be kind of a dummy. The one
thing I would want is for people to see that John was
a really serious, hard-hitting thinker who would
have done great things. Sasha Chermayeff
People need to know what kind of fabulous man he
was. I was his housemate [in college], and yes, he was
messy,yes,he wasalittlebitof aklutz, but itwasajoy
living with him. People would come, we would have
dinner,discusspolitics,everythingfrom nucleardisarmament to civil rights. Christiane Amanpour
John was fast and strong. He worked out a lothe
was a good worker-outer. He was really good at
Frisbee . . . but in football? He was no [Hall of Fame
receiver] Lynn Swann. Brian Steel
JOHN AND CAROLYN
He was enchanted with herbody and soul from
the minute he met her [in 1994]. He struggled with
her inability to cope with the public nature of their
life. But he never wavered in his commitment to
helping her. Brian Steel
They had a really intense passion that manifested in
loving each other but also in unbelievable ghts. I
dont think it was an easy relationship. Youve got this
electricity and this magnetic attraction that was so
powerful.Itcertainlywasntboring. ChrisOberbeck
In that last year of his life, there was some distance
emotionally that hadnt been there before. When
yourenolongerblindedbythebeautyandthelove
and the lust, when you start to feel like youre
really getting to know the person, it gets intense.
He had a really intense period of questioning
whether or not they could make their marriage
work. Children, no children, maybe he was ready,
maybeshewasnt.Shewasaverycomplexwoman,
but they were deeply connected. What was going
to happen, well never know. Sasha Chermayeff
EYE ON THE PRESIDENCY?
Once we were in a meeting with Sen. Al DAmato,
who said John should run for mayor of New York

His Own Path

1. He called her M,
a friend says
of Madonna (with
John in 1997). They
briefly dated and
then stayed friends.
2. John (in Central
Park in 1994) worked
out every day for an
hour. 3. The newness
of the celebrity was
shocking for her,
says Chermayeff of
Carolyn (with John
in 1997). 4. Peoples
1988 Sexiest Man
cover took him
to another level of
fame, says
a close pal. 5. John
(at George in 1996)
came to realize
magazine publishing
wasnt for him,
says Chermayeff.

A Friend Like
No Other

1. John, at his moms

house, with Oberbeck
in 1986. 2. At Georges
last Christmas party in
1998. We were dancing
to Prince, his favorite,
says Terenzio. 3. With
Amanpour the night
before his 1996 wedding.

Ginsberg, now a Time Warner senior executive

AN ANGUISHED FINAL SUMMER

Johns cousin Anthony Radziwill had cancer for
10 years. They just kept cutting him open and taking the tumors out. By the summer of 1999 they
knew they couldnt do any more surgeries. One
day John said to me, I dont know if Im going to
survive Anthonys death, and he started to cry in
his office. Id never seen him break down, ever. It
was so heartbreaking. RoseMarie Terenzio

A MONTH LATER, JOHN WAS GONE

I gave him his rst ying lessons. About two weeks
before he died, I said, You now have just enough
hours to be overcondent. You need to learn to be
prepared for different visual conditions. The
important thing is, if you cant see the horizon,
dont look for it. longtime friend John Perry Barlow
On July 16, JFK Jr.s plane went down. Investigators believe the crash was caused by spatial
disorientationand that the haze had obscured
the horizon.
John once told me, Everybody expects me to be
a great man, but plenty of great men were not particularly great at home. Even my father was no
model. I think it would be a more interesting challenge to be a good man. He was so good. Extraordinary, hilarious, kind. Johns friends want him
to be remembered because he was the best man
we ever knew. John Perry Barlow

I havent
met everybody in the
world, but
Im pretty
condent
theres
nobody in
the world
like him
BRIAN STEEL

FROM TOP LEFT: COURTESY CHRISTIAN OBERBECK; COURTESY ROSE MARIE

TERENZIO; COURTESY CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR; COURTESY BRIAN STEEL

City. Afterweleft,Iaskedhim,Wouldyoueverrun
formayor?andhesaidno.Iaskedhimwhy,andhe
said, Well, Rosie, how many mayors do you know
that become President? RoseMarie Terenzio
By July of 1999 he had concluded he would focus
on running for governor of New York in 2003. Had
the stars aligned, Im pretty convinced thats what
he would have pursued. Brown classmate Gary

 Time Inc., 2016. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be duplicated or
redisseminated without permission.