A Pantomime

DORIS HILLIARD

115 Harlestone Road, Northampton NN5 7AQ

Tel: 01604 590315 Fax: 01604 591077
jasperpublishing@ukbusiness.com
www.jasperpublishing.com

ii

ALADDIN

Copyright: Doris Hilliard 2005

is fully protected by International Copyright Laws. All rights,

including; Stage, Motion Pictures, Radio, Television, Public Reading and
Translation into Foreign Languages, are strictly reserved.
The sale of a script does not automatically imply that the work is available for
public or private reading, and the owner of the copyright reserves the right to
withhold permission to perform, for whatever reason. If in doubt performers should
make application to the publisher.
To obtain information about royalty fees payable on all amateur and professional
performances of this work, together with any other details, please contact the
publisher.

115 Harlestone Road,
Northampton NN5 7AQ
Tel: 01604 590315 Fax: 01604 591077

A licence must be obtained before any performance may be given, and all fees
are payable in advance.

ISBN 1 904416 67 5

British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data.

A catalogue record for this book is available from
The British Library.

iii

Characters
Aladdin
Widow Twanky
Abanaza
Wishy Washee
Satsuma
Genius
Wun-hung-low
Who-flung-dung
Princess Badroulbador
Poppy-ha-pa
Emperor
Ching-chan
Pandee
Peacock

Principal Boy
His mother Works in Chinese
takeaway.
Wicked Magician
(comic) Works in Chinese laundry.
Attractive girl slave of the ring.
Know-all genie of the lamp.
(comic) Policeman
(comic) Policeman
Principal Girl
Princesss slave.
Owns laundry and takeaway.
Messenger
A playful panda.
Glove puppet. (Or other)

Chorus of merchants, slave girls. rabbits.

Satsumas slaves of the ring.

First performed at
The Quay Theatre
Sudbury, Suffolk
from
17th December 2004 - 3rd January 2005
Directed by
Richard Way

iv

ALADDIN

SCENES
ACT 1
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene

1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
6:

Chinese street market.

Interior of Chinese laundry.
In the mountains (in front of tabs with misty effect).
An enchanted garden in a mountain cave.
Dame Twankys house (in front of tabs).
Chinese street market (same as Scene 1, or just use
jazzedup half curtains).

1a:
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
6:
7:
8:
9:
10:

In front of tabs. Spotlight on Abanaza.

Aladdins opulent house (full stage).
In front of tabs.
Aladdins Palace (full stage).
In front of tabs.
Emperors Dungeon (half stage).
Magic Carpetport (full stage).
In front of tabs.
Palace Anti Room.
In front of tabs.
Aladdins Palace (full stage). Walk down.

ACT 2
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene
Scene

ACT 1
Scene 1
A colourful street market in China showing front of a Chinese Takeaway and a
Chinese laundry, with both English and Chinese lettering. "Open all day" is on
a sign hanging outside the Takeaway, with Closed printed on the reverse
side. Sign outside laundry says:
"Wishy Washee
Splishee Sploshee
Cleanee Knickee
Vellee Quickee".
Curtain opens to a chorus of merchants with baskets of wares and fruit etc and
girl slaves singing, 'Chinatown, My Chinatown'
Also on stage singing are Wun-hung-low, Who-flung-dung, Wishy Washee and
Pandee. Puppet is in place 'singing'. If used he should react to the action on
stage whenever possible.
As song ends Wishy exits to laundry, the two policemen chase Pandee who has
just pinched a bunch of bananas from a basket.
Wun-hung-low: Stop thief! After him, Who-flung! Come on!
Both exit, after Pandee. Merchants exit. Slave girls DANCE, after which they
exit.
Pandee runs in from auditorium with bananas, looking behind him to make sure
hes not still being followed. Wishy enters from laundry with a small basket of
laundry and bamboo shoots. Wishy hurriedly exchanges the bamboo for the
bananas which he stuffs into the washing basket. Pandee is very happy and
moves up stage to eat the shoots making a very loud munching sound (taped).
Wishy: (groaning) Pandee! Just be a good panda and do your munching
somewhere else! Please!
Pandee stops munching, moves down next to Wishy and gives loud burp.
Wishy: Oh thats charming that is! Keep your distance, Pandee. Youre a very
windy Panda! Stay over there - thats right, a bit further over!

ALADDIN
Pandee retreats, sits and eats while Wishy talks to audience.

Wishy: Hello girls and boys and everyone. Im Wishy Washee. They call me
Wishy Washee because I work in the laundry - that one there. When Im up to
my elbows in soapy suds washing the clothes, the washing makes a really
wishy washee sound, see. And all the time Im wishing I wasnt washing.
Because its hard work. Still, I do have nice clean fingernails. Not so sure about
my toenails. Dyou know theres not even one washing machine that works in
that old laundry. Just these bare, sore hands of mine, rubbing and scrubbing all
those dirty clothes on this hard old washboard (takes it from basket and seeks
sympathy from audience). These bare sore hands, all red and raw from rubbing
and scrubbing. You dont care, do you!
Audience:Ah!
Wishy: Could you care a bit more please?
Audience: Ah. Ah.
Wishy: Thats better.
Pandee shrugs and slouches off.
Wishy: Now I dont mind washing sheets but smelly socks - poo! (looks around)
Good, Pandees gone. You know I have to put up with that Panda leaning on
me. He sticks his big heavy paws up on my shoulders and leans. He keeps
sneaking around the laundry because in the garden theres a few bamboo
trees - just what hes mad about eating, so Ill never get rid of him, will I? At least
hes cleared off now.
Pandee enters.
Wishy: Im really glad hes gone, now Ill have a bit of peace.
Audience: Look behind you!
Wishy: What? Look behind me? Where?
This routine continues until Pandee leans on Wishys shoulders.
Wishy: (groaning and sagging at the knees) Youre right! He is here again. Well,
Ive had enough! (he wriggles away from Pandee) Hes just got to be tied up.
Pandee reacts and appeals to audience.
Wishy: Oh yes he has!
Audience: Oh no he hasnt!
This continues until Wishy picks up rope from wings and slips it over Pandee's
head.

3
Wishy: Gotcha! (he gives Pandee a stroke) I hate to admit it but no one in the
world cares for me as much as this over friendly lump on the end of this rope
called Pandee. The panda is called Pandee, not the rope. (pause) The rope is
called Cecil. Come along Pandee, be good. Ive got a months washing to do
for all those high and mighty people who hang out at the palace.
Wishy tugs, but Pandee wont budge an inch.
Wun-hung-low enters.
Wun-hung-low: Ello, ello, whats all this then? Ive got to arrest this panda!
Wishy: You cant! Whats he done?
Wun: He steals bananas!
Wishy: (innocently) Bananas? Oh, really? (Wishy quickly pushes with his foot the
bananas that are sticking out of his laundry basket.) Fancy that, a panda who
steals bananas.
Wun: Hes to be locked up at once in the zoo.
Wishy: Oh can I come? I love going to the zoo.
Wun: In a cage so he cant escape.
Pandee jerks free from Wishy and rushes around stage.
Wun: After him, Wishy!
Wishy joins him in the chase - a few turns around the stage to suitable chase
music. Wishy picks up the end of the trailing rope, positioning it so that Wun
trips over it. Pandee exits as Wishy releases the rope.
Wun: You silly idiot. Youve let him escape!
Wishy: Never say zoo to him, it upsets pandas.
Wun: You let him go, Ill get my own back on you for this,Wishy.
Wishy: (to audience) Wasnt my fault, was it?
Wun: Its against the law to keep a panda on the loose. Youll end up in jail.
Wishy: Not me. Hes not my panda, is he? Anyway, Ive got the Emperors silk
pyjamas to wash and iron. See you later. (exits laundry)
Wun: Something very fishy is going on with Wishy, letting that panda escape like
that. Ive just got to catch that animal, because if I dont the Emperor has
threatened to chuck me out of his police force!
Dame: (off) Aladdin! Aladdin!
Wun: Widow Twanky on the warpath again. Actually, shes got a soft spot for me.
Yes! She often gives me a free meal. Ill just go and smarten myself up a bit for
her. See you later. (exits smoothing his hair)
Dame enters from Takeaway.

ALADDIN

Dame: Where is that good for nothing son of mine? (sees audience) Oh hello. I
thought I was alone. (looking coy) If only someone had told me you were all
coming Id have put my posh frock on. Now I look a teeny bit tatty. Im cooking,
see, in the Takeaway, but we seem to be short of customers today.
Who-flung-dung enters and takes up position outside the Takeaway.
Who-flung-dung:Good day, Widow Twanky.
Dame: Must you parade outside my Takeaway, Who-flung-dung?
Who: Keeping watch for the panda.
Dame: Having you stuck there with that dopey look on your face is very bad for
trade. Youll frighten all my customers away.
Who: Ill try a smile then. (smiles, pulling a face)
Dame: Try harder, or move along!
Who: Cant. Ive got to catch the panda before Wun-hung-low does. Then I might
get promoted. And I know Pandee hangs about here. But, I could move along a
tiny little bit - if you give me a free meal.
Dame: Free meal! No deal! Anyway, Pandee is miles away by now, and hes
harmless - apart from pinching a few bananas.
Who: The main reason for catching him is that pandas are dying off, see, and
more baby pandas are needed. And Pandee has to be locked up while we find
him a mate.
Dame: Thats a shame! If they did that to humans, I could be locked up for life.
Pandee pokes his head out of Takeaway. Who-flung-dung doesnt see him.
Dame waves Pandee back inside.
Who: Im getting very hungry.
Dame: I cant afford to give away free meals.
Who: You owe me one, Dame Twanky, for clearing up your back yard.
Dame: Sorry. Not today. (she quickly exits Takeaway)
Who: Blinking cheek.
Who-flung-dung moves to the sign, looks around to see no one is looking and
turns it over. He giggles. Wishy has looked out of laundry door and seen this.
Who: Serve her jolly well right. Thatll keep her customers away. (he exits)
Two customers enter and go to Takeaway.
Customer One: Its closed!
Customer Two: Oh no! Now well have to go home and cook.
Customer One: Not beans on toast again!
Both exit, fed up. Wishy enters having seen what happened

5
Wishy: (to audience) Did you see someone turn this sign over?
Audience: Yes.
Dame enters from shop.
Dame: Whats going on, Wishy?
Wishy: Who-flung-dung changed your sign to closed and youve just lost two
customers.
Dame: Right! Wait till I get my hands on that crafty copper. (she changes the sign
back to open) Ill give him a mighty spanking with my largest fish slice.
Wishy: Wish I could stay to see the fun but Im too busy. (exits)
Dame: (to audience) I could do with some help from you happy people. If Whoflung-dung comes back one more time and changes my sign, please call out as
loudly as you can Give him a spanky, Twanky! and Ill make sure he gets one.
Wed better have a little practise. Its Give him a spanky, Twanky. Just you
shout out after three. Ready. One, two, three
Backstage crew and chorus: (fast and loud) After three!
Dame: Whats that? No, I said shout after three. Try again. Ready: one, two,
three!
Backstage crew and chorus: After three!
Dame: Oh, dear, what a dim lot! Watch out, I can see Who-flung-dung coming
now. Well catch him red handed. (ducks inside Takeaway)
Who-flung-dung enters swinging his truncheon. Wishy Washee watches
secretly. Who-flung-dung moves to sign.
Audience: Give him a spanky, Twanky!
Who: Be quiet! Im not going to do anything. (innocently struts about the stage,
suddenly making a dash for the sign, turning it over)
Audience shout.
Wun-hung-low enters. Dame enters with custard pie. Shes about to throw it
into Who flungdungs face when he ducks at the last minute and Wun-hunglow gets it full in the face.
While Wun-hung-low dashes off to clean up and Who-flung-dung stands
laughing at him, Pandee creeps out of Takeaway, unseen by Who-flung-dung
Dame hurriedly shoos him back inside and shouts to Who-flung-dung,
Dame: (pointing to audience) Oh look, there goes Pandee now! I just saw him
down there. Chop chop, if you want to catch him.
Who: (excited) Right, Ill get him this time! (dashes through audience) Come
back here you little devil!
Dame: Thats right, keep going - turn left and fall in the river!

ALADDIN
Pandee enters and cuddles Dame thankfully.

Dame: (to audience) Dont laugh. Better to be loved by a panda than never to be
loved at all - I think... Thats enough. So youre going to be mated then? Well
well, lucky old you. Meanwhile youd better stay in my garden. I mean, I dont
want to be a spoilsport, but Ive been waiting years - and Pandas (shakes head)
well, lets face it. Not a lot of choice around here, is there? Now get back into my
garden unless you want the policemen to catch you.
Pandee waves and exits.
Wun-hung-low enters looking spruce.
Wun: How charming you look today, Twanky.
Dame: And you look quite handsome now - and pretty strong.
Wun: I can hold up a bus with one hand.
Dame: (sniffing the air) New after shave, Wun?
Wun: (coy, getting close to her) Glad you like it. It is a best smeller... I think about
you all the time,
Dame: Delightful.
Wun: You and your cooking are delightful. Tell me, do you serve crabs?
Dame: We serve anybody. Just step inside.
Wun: (moving to Takeaway) By the way, what was that in my dinner yesterday?
Dame: I dunno - all insects look the same to me. Dyou like peas, weve hundreds
of those?
Wun: I eat peas with honey. Done so all my life. It may seem kind of funny, but
it keeps them on the knife.
Dame: Shouldnt you be on a strict slimming diet?
Wun: I am! No eating between snacks. (exits Takeaway)
Dame: Hes got a soft spot for me, hasnt he? Ill put him on my list, but only as a
last resort. Now where is my lazy son, Aladdin. (shouts) Aladdin!
Aladdin: (entering) Were you calling me, mother dear?
Dame: No, I was calling you Aladdin. You are never here when I want you!
Aladdin: I fell asleep. Had a lovely dream about a beautiful Princess putting her
arms around me. Mmm. (hugs himself) Heavenly dream.
Dame: Well heres a nightmare for you. Stacks of dirty dishes in there waiting for
you, my son, so get cracking.
Aladdin: Im not lazy, Mumsey, its just that washing dishes is so boring. Id like a
really important job.
Dame: Wash up first. Then scrub the floor - thats important.
Aladdin: (reflecting) Why cant I become a merchant, sell things and make a lot
of money?
Dame: Because to start with that needs money, and brains. Forget it.
Fanfare and Ching Chan enters with a soldier carrying a sword. They are followed
by merchants.

7
Ching Chan: Hear me, hear me! I make very important announcement. Princess
Badroulbador will now pass through market on way to Royal bath. Anyone of
you caught looking at Princess will be put to death instantly by order of Emperor!
Soldier flashes his sword as a warning.
Every head is bowed and eyes covered as the princess enters with Poppy-hapa, her face veiled. She walks across stage in a procession of slave attendants
who hold a glittering canopy over her head. Pandee trots behind the procession
taking the opportunity to steal bananas from a merchants basket while the
Merchant has his eyes shut tightly.
Poppy-ha-pa: (nervously) Hurry along! We are being followed by a fierce animal.
Pandee appeals indignantly to audience.
The procession, including Ching Chan and soldier, exits and gradually the
merchants lift their heads, grumble and exit complaining to each other.
Aladdin: How Id just love to see the Princesss face. Would it be the same as in my
dreams?
Dame: Dont even think about it!
Aladdin: For all I know she could be ugly as (hes about to say you but stops in
time) - as - as, Peacock here.
Peacock reacts with gusto.
One day soon Ill think of a way of seeing her.
Dame: One squint at her and youd be dead! I fear for you, son. (makes elaborate
gesture of having throat cut)
Aladdin: Fearing for mes not much good, Ma. Better if you darned these socks
for me. (displays holes in socks)
Dame: Darn lazy thats what you are, an idle good-for-nothing. Get to work or Ill
throw you out on your ear. (exits Takeaway)
Abanaza has entered unseen by Aladdin and Dame.
Aladdin: (sighs) Anything must be better than washing greasy dishes. (exits
Takeaway)
Menacing music for few seconds
Abanaza: (to audience with a sinister smile) How very flattering to see you all
staring at me. Stare away. I am not just an African merchant. Oh no! I am
Abanaza the most powerful magician in the whole wide world. Whats that?
You dont believe me? Oh yes I am!

ALADDIN

Audience: Oh, no, you're not!

Abanaza: Oh yes I am! (continue this routine until he says:) Listen, for the time
being its a secret. Yours and mine and you had better keep it. Ive been looking
for a certain useless young man with no brains but plenty of cheek. Aladdin is
his name - the son of Widow Twanky. And now I have found him. I need him, you
see, to help me find a magic lamp and when I tell him that Im his long lost
uncle, the stupid boy is sure to believe me. (wicked laugh)
Aladdin enters fanning himself with his hat.
Aladdin: I need some air. Its like an oven in there. Fresh air couldnt get in with a
permit.
Abanaza: Good day, young man. I have a great surprise for you.
Aladdin: Really? Who are you?
Abanaza: I am, without a doubt, your long lost uncle Abanaza returned from Africa
after forty years of travelling.
Aladdin: But I havent got an uncle.
Abanaza: (aside) He has now. My dear nephew, your esteemed father, Mustafa,
was indeed my brother. The merchants here tell me he died last year and left
you and your poor mother with very little to live on. (wipes fake tears from his
eyes)
Aladdin: True my mother works hard in the Takeaway to keep us both. I have no
job and no money.
Abanaza: Then Allah be praised for I am wise and wealthy and can help you to
become a merchant and to earn much money.
Aladdin: You dont mean work? Thats a four-letter word.
Abanaza: Of course, but first you must come with me to a delightful place in the
mountains
Aladdin: Ive never seen mountains close up.
Abanaza: I will teach you many things, Aladdin, and if you can help me with a
tedious small task youll be rewarded in gold.
Aladdin: Gold! Fantastic! Id be rich But wait a minute, Uncle - a small task you
said? How small is a task? What does it look like?
Abanaza: (aside) For the love of Allah he is a bigger fool than I thought, which
suits me very well. (to Aladdin) My task is certainly larger than your tiny brain.
Aladdin: (annoyed) Do I have to have a brain scan to prove there is nothing wrong
with my brain? The fact is Ive never had the chance to go to school..
Abanaza: But with my help you will learn faster than you can run. Meet me here
tomorrow at noon for your first geography lesson on our way to the mountains
(exits)
Aladdin: Geography eh? Dont like the sound of that. But the gold? (shrugs) Sounds
okay. Hes probably just boasting though. (moves upstage)
Princess and Poppy enter. They are both in peasant dress, and the Princess
wears a shawl over her hair. They move downstage.

9
Poppy: (nervously) We shouldnt be here like this, Princess.
Princess: Shush! Don't call me princess. No one must know who I am. That's
the idea.
Poppy: I know but its too dangerous to be out here without your bodyguards and
with your face uncovered.
Princess: Stop worrying. Im determined to buy a takeaway like ordinary people
do.
Poppy: But you are not ordinary. you are a Princess!
Princess: Quiet. someone will hear you. Now come along, have you brought
some money
Poppy: Thats the third time youve asked me. and the answer is the same. Yes.
Princess : Good. (she lets her shawl fall back, revealing her hair)
Poppy: (worried) Princess! (starts to put shawl back)
Princess: Leave it. (it drops to the ground)
Aladdin moves quickly and picks it up.
Princess: Thank you.
Pause while they stand looking at each other as if falling in love at first sight
(suggest suitable, soft falling-in-love music for a few seconds).
Aladdin: Amazing, amazing!
Princess: (laughs) What is so amazing?
Aladdin: (embarrassed) I cannot say - please forgive me if I was rude to stare at
you like that.
Princess: You were not rude.
Aladdin: Its just that your face is so familiar to me. I thought at first wed met
before.
Princess: No. I would have remembered you.
Poppy: (urging her to leave) We must go!
Princess: No, not until weve bought our takeaways. (to Aladdin) Are they good?
Aladdin: I can recommend them a thousand times. It happens that my mother
does all the cooking. My name is Aladdin. Might I know your name?
Princess: My name? (smiles mysteriously)
Poppy: (annoyed) Her name is Jasmine and its high time we both departed!
Princess: Umm yes, Jasmine is my name - and my companions name is
Gooseberry, but shes called Poppy-ha-pa for short.
Aladdin: Jasmine is such a pretty name... like its owner.
Poppy: And now we all know who we are, its time to go!
Princess: (very attracted to him) Poppy, you are like a persistent, flying insect.
Run inside there and buy two takeaways! And please dont hurry. I will wait
here.