Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela beta dudh p

k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
*************
Ek shrabi sadhu se takra gaya. Sadhu: Oh murkh, mein tuje shrap deta hoon
Sharabi: Ruko, me glass leke ata hoon.
*************
How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyh
ole instead of his eye!
***************
Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye
.
**************
Ma: Beta ladoo Khayega?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Chocolate?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Khana?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Marjana apne peo te gaya hai, sirf jutiyan hi khayega.
*********
Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmat
ma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
**************
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautifu
l, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
***********
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; fou
r eyes to keep a pretty wife.
**************
Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It's not because you are cute but b
coz my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's yours?
*********
Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
*************
A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything th
ere that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
*****
Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
*************
Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
*************
Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
***********
Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Pe
rfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big
liar.
************
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fl
y; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
*************
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
**********
Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
***********
A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
**************
At a party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who ha
s made ur life worth living.
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
****************
Suraj ki pahli kiran aapko Khusi de... Dusri kiran hasi de... Teesri tandurasti.
.. Chouthi kamyabi... Bas ab aur nahi garmi lagegi. Good Day.
*************
Ek Gujju ka sapne mein kisi ne rape kar diya di. Next day Gujju ne apna Bank acc
count band karwa diya kyon ki Bank mein likha tha: Hum aap k Sapno ko Haqeeqat m
ein badal denge.
*************
Amitabh: Mere pas Gaadi he, Banglaw hai, Bank Balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi: Mere paas bhi Gaadi hai, Bunglaw hai, Bank Balance hai...
Silence for few Minutes...
Amitabh: Abey to phir Maa kahana hai?
*****************
Q: What time is it when most people go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-Hurty!
***********************
Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka helmet kahan
hai? Fine lagega.
Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !
*************
Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati, or Sarasva
ti hai.
Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.
***********
Gandhigiri ki safalta ke baad, pesh hai. Messagegiri jisme aap msg kare ya na ka
re, ham msg bhejte rahenge, kabhi to aapko sharm aayegi. Gud Day!
***********
Height of Marwari Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano Car.......prefera
bly with Gas Kit!!!
**********
Hasi ke liye gam kurban, khushi ke liye aansoo kurban, dost ke liye jan bhi kurb
an, agar dost ki girlfreind mil jaye to saala dost bhi kurban.
*************
Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meal
s a day as I had advised ?
Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !
**************
Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's
welcomed.
***************
Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behav
ed persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!
************
Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
************
Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai?
Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai...
***********
Valentine special: Dunyia wich reh k rangaa wich kho jao.. Kise nu apna bana lao
ya kise da ho jao.. Je kuchh vi ni hunda taan....Chakko Rajaai te so jao.
*************
I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.
************
Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!
***********
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Bus
iness?
Student: Father-in-Law!
***********
Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asi
an Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!
**************
What s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs,
with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
*****************
One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon
tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital
(Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the
couple enquired eagerly 'What are you doing ?'
Sardarji replied that I
had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form.
The couple as per
schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next
destination. On the next day, they find the same
Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the
same form.
So once again young couple
curiously asked - 'What are you doing here ?'
Sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I
am filling the birth certificate form.
The couple said but
sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same
form, how come you're in Delhi?
Sardarji cooly replied
It is written here - 'FILL IN CAPITALS'
##########################################################################
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University
final examination. He takes his seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and
then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his
turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and
watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what
is going on.
Oye, I am only following the instructions
'Answer in brief'.
##########################################################################
Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper? (he
already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a Xerox of the white paper !!!
##########################################################################
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy
so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees
to wake him up when the station arrived.
This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,
the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell
asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he
went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and
suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife ' What's the matter?'
Replied he 'The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and
woken up someone else'
##########################################################################
Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
##########################################################################
Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very
depressed.
'What happened ?' asked Surjit.
'Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . '
'How come ?'
'Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England
was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win,
but I lost the bet.'
' But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?'
' Yaar, I bet on the highlights too '
*************************
Subject: Fwd: Singh at an interview
Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 11:44:14 +0530
SANTA AND BANTA SINGH WANT A JOB
Santa and Banta are two friends and Santa singh has very good
job.Banta singh is jobless and one day asks Santa for some good
job. Santa singh says, OK next time we will apply together and
they do.
On interview day, Santa singh says ,first I will go inside and
answer all questions except last one, and after coming out, I
would give you all answers and questions. So you go and then
answer there. You will get the Job. So, Santa goes in.
EMPLOYER: When we got independence?
SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM?
SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER: OK. What's India's population?
SANTA: (He was not to reply last one so he says)Good
Question,Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you
Sir.
Now he comes out and tell questions and answers to Banta Singh.
Banta singh was real SARDAR and he remembers all answers and
forgot questions. He goes in Now.
EMPLOYER: When were you born?
BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: What???? Who is your father?
BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER: Employer is upset now. Are you mad Mr.Banta?
BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I
will tell you Sir.