23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

"WITCH
DIARY"

Welcome to Emilys world. I did not live in the same world as you. You could not imagine

what my world looked like. My world was the Scota Canel. We had a advance technology and
powerful magic. We protected all of the trees in the city, so we had fresh air and beautiful
scenes. People in this land all had long lives I lived with my mother in the castle. It was located
at the center of the country. Oh!! I forgot to tell you. My mother was queen of the ScotaCanel.
Ever since I was little, I had to study in the magic school with friends who belonged to the elite
social class. Teachers taught me how to use magic such as fight, vehicle, movement, and etc. I
also had to take an extra class about how to rule the country.
Today is my last summer holiday; I hope I could have a longer holiday. I decide to go
shopping and to buy my new clothes for my first day of school. I went downstairs and met my
mother. She said, Where are you going? I am going to buy my new clothe down town. Then
she allowed me to go. I walked to town; no one knew that I was daughter because I did not
want to be the center of the attention. I was very happy with it.
On the way, I visited the lollipop shop as always. The lollipops in this shop were not the
same as others. The owners had their own secret recipe. The owners were very nice and
friendly. The women looked like my grandmother. This shop opened at the same time as when I
was born 18 years ago. Hi, Emily, she said. Hi! GoodMoring Mrs.Anna, I replied. What do
you want today? I want the rainbow one. I always brought the rainbow lollipop. After that, I
said goodbye to Mrs. Anna and continued to walk again.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

Finally, I found the shop where I would buy my clothes. I bought a green pastel dress
and a flower hairpin. Almost everything that I wore was green. I walked around to find dessert
to eat. I found an ice cream shop called Yoppy. The shop was decorated in a wonderful vintage
theme. It seemed like everyone in the town was thinking the same thing as I. The queue was
very long. I walked in to the shop and waited for 5 minutes. What flavor do you want? the
seller asked. I want one scope of cotton candy. How much is it? I said. The seller said 4 $.
Then I could not find my wallet anywherein my bag or in the shopping bag. Someone walked
in and gave money to me to purchase the ice-cream. Thank you so much.. Oh!! My name
is Edward. Edward Thomson He was a tall handsome brown eye man. He looked like the same
age as me, but the height between us was a lots.Okay, Edward You lose your wallet. Is that
correct?Yes, I think maybe at the dress shop that I went before. So, I think I have to go now
before someone takes my wallet. Can you wait here and I will give money back to you? I
will go with you, so you do not have to walk back here again. okay, if you want you can go
with me.
On the way we walked, Edward told me that he had moved from the country yesterday
and he lived by his own. When we arrived at the shop, I went inside and asked for my wallet
Do you see my wallet? Yes, is it yours? Um, yes thank you.I came out from the shop.
This. I give money back to you and thank you again You are welcome, have to go home
now, Edward said, with his smile face After Edward went back to his home, I also went back to
my home. Today was a long day. I thought I wouldgo to bed early today, so I would have a full
sleep and was ready for the first day of school tomorrow.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

Run runrun I told myself. I had escaped from a strange man who followed me for two

hours already. He had tried to kill me many times since he followed me. I shouted loudly for
help but I could not see anyone around there. Then the strange man came to catch me and
used the knife to kill me. I screamed very loudly. Suddenly I woke up and realized that it was
just a dream. I looked at the watch.It was 7:30 Am already. I stood up and ran to the bath, took
a bath in a hurry, and wore my new green pastel dress. I went downstairs and ate my
breakfastbread, egg, andsausage. My mother and I did not usually eat breakfast together, but
we had dinner together every Sunday.
I went to school by car. My mothers chauffer took me there. I stood in front of the
school and looked at my school deeply. It was a big school with a beautiful color and a lot of big
trees. Now, it was school time.In my school we had to change the roommate every year. The
first day of school was very busy because every student wanted to meet and talk with his or her
friend whom he or she did not seefor 3 month.
I also wanted to see my friend. When I walked along the hall I met my best friend named
Chloe. Hi!! Chloe, we did not meet each other for a long time; miss you. I hug her. I miss you
too. We talkedwhen we walked to our classroom. I was lucky that this year I also studied in the
same classroom as Chloe. (I wanted to tell you something. Everyone in the school knew that I
was a queens daughter. Some of them wanted to be my friend because they want something
from me. Some of them hate me because they thought that I had more right than they.) Chloe
was the only friend that loved me from her true heart and always wason my side. She was a
kind, friendly, and beautiful woman. Since I had been Chloes friend, many men had hit on her,

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

but she always denied all of them. I did not know why. I thought maybe she wanted to focus on
her studying before thinking about her boyfriend because Chloes family expected a lot from
her. When Chloe grew up they wanted Chloe to find a good job and got a high salary.
When we arrived at the classroom, there was a huge window for looking down to the
first floor and also there was a flower vase near the window. I wanted to sit near the window,
I said. Okay, Chloe said. We decided to sit at the third row from the board in front of the
classroom. Ten minutes later, the bell rang.
An old lady teacher came in. She introduced herself. My name is Susan. I had a new
student with me. Edward, come here and introduce yourself to the class room. Hi!! My name
is Edward I just came here yesterday. Please take care of me. Nice to meet you. Edward went
to sit next to Emily Wow!! He was the person from yesterday and I met him again. We studied
in the same school, classroom, and sat next to each other.Can he remember me? I asked
myself. As he walked to sit next to me, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back to him.
Emily! You had to take care of Edward and told him what he had to do. Is it okay? Mrs. Susan
said. Yes, sure I will tell him I reply. Then Mrs. Susan went out of the room. The silence was
over. Every student continued to talk again. I was still confused what I had to do now. I turned
my face to Chloe because I wanted to tell her about how I met Edward yesterday, but it was too
late. Chloe walked to Edward and talked with him already. I did not have any choice; I had to
turn my face back to Edward.

After Chloe finished introducing herself, she told me to do as she did, but Edward said I

already met her yesterday but I did not know your name yet Oh! Yes, my name is Emily. Emily

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

Wasson Why and how did you two meet each other before? Chloe asked. Edward gave me
money yesterday because I lost my wallet I said. Edward said Do we need to go to another
class before we are late? Yes. Wait a minute I had to pack my bag first. Chloe said. We
walked downstairs to study the next subjectmagic. The teacher told us today we would learn
how to read others mind from their eyes. We had to do in a pair. Chloe told me that she would
be pair with another friend. I had to be together with Edward. The teacher told us first we had
to close our eyes, listen to our breath, and think about person whose mind we wanted to read.
Then when we calmed down already, opened our eyes and looked directly into their eyes. I
looked inside Edwards eyes and I saw something. I felt sadness in his eyes. I did not know why
because he always smiled with other people.
When I looked deeper inside his mind, I saw him in the past. He was crying because his
mother died. I wanted to know why but I thought it might be rude, so I did not look inside his
mind again. He smiled at me but he did not say anything with me for the rest of the class. After
that we had lunch together. Today I ate only salad because I felt worried after I saw Edwards
mind. We had an exercise class after we had lunch. The girls had to separate from the boys. I
played tennis with Chloe. We did not see Edward for the rest of the day. After the end of the
last class, I usually went back to my home by using my magic which takes me anywhere that I
want to go. I always went to one place, a lavender field. No one knew this place except me.
Chloe told me that she had to go back to her home early, so she went back to her home before
me.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

As I walked down to the first floor of the building, I saw Edward walk alone at the hall. I
walked straight to him because I wanted to talk to him. Hi! Edward how did you go back to
your home? I did not know. Maybe I will go somewhere before I went homeI thought I
should asked him to go with me or not.
What about you, where are you going? he asked. Oh! I will go to one placethat was
my secret place. Did you want to go with me? Can I? Yes, of course. I wanted to make him
feel better. I had to do something. Emily thought, shall I ask him or not? I used my magic to
go there. When we arrived at the lavender filed, he looked very impressed. I was very proud of
my filed. You were the first person that I took to this place Really, why!! I did not like a lot
of people. Sometime I wanted to be alone to think about something by myself when I have a
problem Now, you also knew this place. You can come here anytime that you want,but please
do not tell anyone. Okay? Yes, I wouldnt. May I ask you something? Um, okay. If you
want to talk about what is inside your mind, you can always talk with me; I will be the one who
listens to you.
Edward turned to face me. He looked inside my eyes, got inside my mind and started his
story. His mother died because of the car accident. Edward did not have anyone who stayed
with him. His father had a new wife and she was not a good person. She took care of Edward
because she wanted money from his father. When his father was not at home his step mother
always hit him with a belt. He could not use his magic because his father always listened to his
new wife and did not believe him anymore. When he grew up he asked his father that he

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

wanted to come to study at the town and lived on his own. After he finished his story, Edward
went out from my mind.
I did not know what I have to say and I felt sorry about his story. Sorry about that He
smiled at me again. He always smiled to everyone. I want to tell you something. Sometime you
did not have to smile but you can also cry with me. I told him. Again he just smiled back to me,
but this time was not the same as other time it looked like it came from his true mind. We lay
down on the ground for half an hour without talking with each other. The sky was very
beautiful with a dark blue color. After that we went back to our home and said goodbye to each
other. See you tomorrow Edward I hoped you would feel better after you told me your story.
I went back to my sweet home. My mother sat on the sofa at the living room with her
secretary. Her face looked so worried. When she saw me she told her secretary to go back. I
thought she had some problem but I did not asked her. Emily, came here, I had an important
thing to tell you she told. I just walked and sat next to her. She looked at me with her two
eyes. You must prepare yourself and study hard with your magic, practice to control your
mind, and I will let you study more extra classes every Monday and Thursday. I felt confused
why I had to do this, but I did not ask her. I said Okay, I will do. Now, you can go.
I walked upstairs to my room. I decided to practice how to move things around. I
concentrated, used my index finger to point to the rubbish. Suddenly I felt something inside my
mind. I could not feel anything and faint. Again I saw a women and the same strange man from
yesterday talk to each other. The women said You must kill her. If you could not, you should
not come back again This time I will not let you disappoint me again.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

I heard someone knocked on my door. Miss Emily Woke up you will late for your
school, one of my maids said. I woke up and took a bath in hurry and got into the car. When I
walked into the classroom, it was the same time as the bell rang. Chloe and Edward talked to
each other when I arrived. Hi! Good morning, you guys. What were you talking about? They
looked at each other and Chloe said Nothing. I thought maybe they did not want me to know
about their conversation or maybe they both were a couple. From my true heart, I also liked
Edward too. Its okay if they loved each other. I did not mind. At the end of the day, Chloe
asked Edward and me to go to the mall on Saturday. We both agree and went on Saturday.
Today was Thursday; I had to take an extra class after school. After I finished my last
period, I walked downstairs to the magical experiment room to see my new teacher. When I go
inside the room, I found Edward sat at the chair in the middle of the room with the teacher. I
felt very confused. Why Edward come to study in the same room with me? I walked to sit near
him. Then the teacher began his lesson. I wanted to ask Edward why he had taken an extra class
same as me, but I could not because the teacher will know that I did not listen to him. Today we
learned how to use our power by not waste it too much, when we had to fight with other
people.
I practiced very hard today, I lost a lots of my energy after finished the class. I never
been liked this before. I always have the strongest power in the school. When I looked at
Edward, it seemed liked he was not tried anymore. I decided to find something to eat to refill
my energy, before I went home. Where are you going? Edward asked. I will go to find
something to eat in the town.I replied. Can I go with you? Yes, sure. We walked for 15

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

minutes, now in the town had a lot of people. They came out to eat their dinner with their
family or maybe with their girlfriend or boyfriend.
Finally we stopped at one restaurant Secret garden. It was a Korean restaurant. When
we walked to the shop, it was decorated with Korean thempicture, language, and the smell
was very spicy. We went to sit next to the window. The waiter came to us. What do you want
to eat? Do you have any recommend dish that I had to eat,I asked. Yes,our recommend dish
in this restaurant isKimbub. Okay, I order that for one. I ordered the same as she. So,
the ordered is two Kimbub, wait around 15 minutes and we will served you. After the waiter
went away, Edward started to talk to me. I asked him first, Why you have to take the extra
class same as me? My father told me to take the extra class. Does he tell you, why you have
to take an extra class No, he just told me to take it. I did not askhimmore because when he
talked about his father his face looked very sad.
Then our food served by the waiter. We both enjoy our food. The Kimbub was similar to
sushi. It was a roll of seaweed. Inside it had rice, vegetable, and meat. Edward paid the food for
me. After we went out from the shop, he told me that he will walk with me to my home
because it late already and it will be dangerous for me to walk back on my own.

Short Story Grading Rubric

CATEGORY
Setting

5
Many vivid,
descriptive words
are used to tell
when and where

Some vivid,
descriptive words
are used to tell the
audience when and

The reader can

figure out when and
where the story
took place, but the

The reader has

trouble figuring out
when and where

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

the story took
place.

where the story

took place.

author didn't supply

much detail.

the story took place.

Characters

The main
characters are
named and clearly
described. Most
readers could
describe the
characters
accurately.

The main characters

are named and
described. Most
readers would have
some idea of what
the characters
looked like.

The main characters

are named. The
reader knows very
little about the
characters.

It is hard to tell who

the main characters
are.

Problem/Conflict

It is very easy for

the reader to
understand the
problem the main
characters face and
why it is a problem.

It is fairly easy for

the reader to
understand the
problem the main
characters face and
why it is a problem.

It is fairly easy for

the reader to
understand the
problem the main
characters face but
it is not clear why it
is a problem.

It is not clear what

problem the main
characters face.

Solution/Resolution The solution to the

The solution to the

character's problem
is easy to
understand, and is
somewhat logical.

The solution to the

character's problem
is a little hard to
understand.

No solution is
attempted or it is
impossible to
understand.

There is an
appropriate
amount of dialogue
to bring the
characters to life
and it is always
clear which
character is
speaking.

There is too much

dialogue in this
story, but it is
always clear which
character is
speaking.

There is not quite

enough dialogue in
this story, but it is
always clear which
character is
speaking.

It is often not clear

which character is
speaking.

The story is very

well organized. One
idea or scene
follows another in a
logical sequence
with clear
transitions.

The story is pretty

well organized. One
idea or scene may
seem out of place.
Clear transitions are
used.

character's
problem is easy to
understand, and is
logical. There are
no loose ends.

Dialogue

Organization

The story is a little

hard to follow. The
transitions are
sometimes not
clear.

You should say how

they are speaking
too.
You have
punctuation errors
in your dialogue at
times
Ideas and scenes
seem to be
randomly arranged.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

Creativity

The story contains

many creative
details and/or
descriptions that
contribute to the
reader's
enjoyment. The
author has really
used his/her
imagination.

The story contains a

few creative details
and/or descriptions
that contribute to
the reader's
enjoyment. The
author has used
his/her imagination.

The story contains a

few creative details
and/or descriptions,
but they distract
from the story. The
author has tried to
use his/her
imagination.

There is little
evidence of
creativity in the
story. The author
does not seem to
have used much
imagination.

Mechanics

The story contains

no errors in
grammar, usage, or
mechanics.

The story contains

few minor errors in
grammar, usage, or
mechanics.

The story contains

many and/or
serious errors in
grammar, usage, or
mechanics; may
interfere with
reading.

The story contains

so many errors in
grammar, usage,
and mechanics that
errors block
reading.

Requirements

All of the written

requirements
(typed, double
spaced, # of pages
(8 plus), font (12
Calibri, margins)
were met.

Almost all (about

90%) the written
requirements were
met.

Most (about 75%) of Many requirements

the written
were not met.
requirements were
met, but several
were not.

Title Page

Title page has a

graphic or fancy
lettering, has the
title, author's
name, date, and
class period.

Title page has 4 of

the 5 required
elements.

Title page has the 3

of the 5 required
elements.

Have a separate
title page

Short Story Grading Rubric

Name: ______________________

Title page has fewer

than 3 of the
required elements.

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

CATEGORY

Points Possible

Points Earned

Setting

5 4 3 2 8
x 2

Characters

5 4 3 2 6
x 2

Problem/Conflict

5 4 3 2 10
x 2

Solution/Resolution

5 4 3 2 10
x 2

Dialogue

5 4 3 2 4
x 2

Organization

5 4 3 2 10
x 2

Creativity

5 4 3 2 4
x 1

Mechanics

5 4 3 2 4
x 1

Requirements

5 4 3 2 5
x 1

Title Page

5 4 3 2 5
x 1

TOTAL: 66/80+20=86

Problem Areas:

23/09/2014

ChalitaKaveevutisilp (Frongky) YEAR 10-01

Tense
Subject/verb agreement
If you understand the sentence types, you will know when to use commas.