Cardboardeaux

Golem, Sommelier
Size/Type: Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (-1 size, +5 natural), Touch 9, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+13
Attack: Slam+ 8 melee (2d8+2)
Full Attack: 2 slams +8 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Barrage of corks, berserk
Special Qualities: Construct traits, damage reduction 10/adamantine and bludgeoning,
darkvision 70 ft., immunity to magic, low-light vision, pretentious, vulnerability to fire
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 10, Con -, Int 22, Wis 8, Cha 10
Skills: Appraisal (wine only) +21, Bluff +12, Decipher Script +21, Diplomacy +12
Intimidate +14, Listen +12, Profession (vintner) +12, Spot +12 (+11 in bright light)
Feats: Combat Expertise, Diligent, Improved Initiative, Power Attack
Traits: Abrasive Trait Unearthed Arcana, Nightsighted Unearthed Arcana
Environment: Any Urban
Organization: Solitary (Unique)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment:

Cardboardeaux is a corrugated fiberboard wine box shaped as a waiter carrying a silver tray
with two crystal wine glasses. He has impeccable taste in wine. He was created by a
worshipper of Olidammara to work in the monasterys vineyard but his caustic and
overbearing personality made him unpopular with the monks. He was given to a local tavern
to work as a waiter and is popular with the patrons, as he has no need for tips.

Cardboardeaux speaks Common, Elven, Dwarven, Goblin, Gnome, and Halfling.

He weighs about 500 lbs.

Combat

Cardboardeaux refrains from entering combat unless he is threatened. Before entering

combat, he carefully puts down his tray. Then, he puts up his arms and begins to thrash his
enemies with his slam attacks. He uses his barrage of corks against armored foes.

Barrage of Corks (Ex): Three times a day as a standard action, Cardboardeaux can
release a barrage of corks in a 30-foot line. The corks cause 3d8+4 points of bludgeoning
damage to everything in their path and can dent armor. A successful Fortitude save (DC 15)
halves the damage. The save is Constitution-based. Anyone wearing non-magical metal
armor who takes damage has his armor bonuses reduced by one until the dents are
hammered out. Furthermore, the corks left behind are a walking hazard to anyone other
than Cardboardeaux. Creatures walking on the corks must succeed on a Balance 10 check
or fall prone.
Berserk (Ex): Any time a glass is broken, there is a there is a cumulative 10% chance that
Cardboardeaux goes berserk. He goes on a rampage for one round, attacking the nearest
living creature or smashing some object smaller himself if no creature is within reach, after
which he dusts himself off, never apologizing for his uncouth behavior.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): Cardboardeaux is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that
allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the
Cardboardeaux, as noted below.

An acid splash spell slows Cardboardeaux for 3 rounds and deals 2d4 points of acid
damage to him.

An acid arrow cast at Cardboardeaux stops him from moving on his next turn and
deals 4d4 points of acid damage to him.

An acid fog spell drives Cardboardeaux back 120 feet and deals 3d6 points of acid
damage to him each round.

A searing light spell causes Cardboardeaux to be blinded for one round in addition to
any damage he takes.

Pretentious (Ex): Whenever Cardboardeaux takes damage from an enemy that has a
higher Intelligence than he has, Cardboardeaux takes a -2 morale penalty to use his
Intelligence based skills (Appraisal and Decipher Script) and is stunned for 1 round in
addition to any physical damage he takes.

Construction

Cardboardeauxs body is sculpted from 500 pounds of cardboard and plastic tubing; his
artistically designed motifs are inscribed with rare tinctures and admixtures and hand-drawn
by fine calligraphy costing at least 500 gp. Assembling the body requires a DC 20 Craft
(winemaking) check or a DC 20 Profession (vintner) check. Cardboardeaux was awakened
after he was created. See awaken construct spell in Savage Species.

CL 13; Craft Construct, purify food and drink, geas/quest, limited wish, caster must be at
least 13th level; Price 18,050 gp; Cost 9,025 gp +722 xp

Plot hooks

One of the popular games at the tavern is that patrons bet on guessing what
creature's brain was used to awaken Cardboardeaux. So far, nobody has guessed
correctly and Cardboardeaux has remained mum on the topic.

Another popular betting game is betting how long it takes for Cardboardeaux go
berserk in any given evening. Nobody who bets may break a glass or the bet is
considered lost. Cheaters are unceremoniously booted from the inn by the ogre
bouncer who runs a tight ship.

There are rumors that things at the monastery where Cardboardeaux was created
are not what they seem. The monks have not been heard from in several days.