Memories of Mum _ JB 2015_10_28

Its an impossible challenge to try and prcis anyones life in less than an A4 page. Harder still when its your
mother you are trying to summarize. In trying to think of things to say about our Mum (Pam) there are so many
different roles she took on in her life and its limiting to pigeonhole her as either a caring person or an animal
lover. Those were both important roles for her. She taught us how to adapt and cope with anything life threw at
us. She taught us both that if we truly wanted something there are ways to achieve it. Pam encouraged both of
us to reach beyond the constraints of the everyday (which with Bill in Virginia USA & I in Australia) saw our
relationships scattered across the world.

When Bill and I were young she asked me if when we were out together I would refer to her as Pamela, as she
did not want to be seen as being that old (I think I was at that time eight years old). I was never able to call
her anything other than Mum. She loved to knit and design clothing and took great pride in her appearance.
She worked in fashion and clothing throughout her life.

She was a writer right to the end, with some of her writing published in the local newspaper and through the
church. She is from a generation defined and forged by war, yet all she ever sought was love, compassion, truth
and fairness. She wanted the stories of her generation to be heard and continued until her death to try and make
sense, of what for many people, were truly devastating blows to family values. Her voice was always positive
for the simple celebration and appreciation of life.

Pam never turned her back on any living creature she encountered from tortoises as an eight year old to parrots
at eighty. She put aside a spare bedroom in our home for an injured crow to take up residence and dug the
worms for Jimmy the crow; who stayed for months before being released back to the relative wilds of Bushey
Park in Teddington. In the 1990s we made a comprehensive list of the animals she had cared for as pets, it
totaled over eighty then. Both Pam & dad encouraged Bill & I to respect and care for animals, this has
continued in Bills love for his pets. Pams passion for animal welfare seemed the normal way of life for us to
continue.

Her care for others was also clear towards children. As a nine year-old evacuee from London to Devon and
later Wales, she cared for her brother and assisted teachers helping younger children to read. Pam looked after
her brother. It is clear from her stories and writing their lives as evacuees were far from safe. Pam took on a
powerful role ensuring that both she and her brother returned to their mum, who remained in London working
for the ministry of defence during the war. As a nursery nurse before Bill & I were born she worked with
many children in London soon after the second world-war. After marrying Dad her dedication to Bill & I as
young children was a wonderful presence, she made sure we were active, taking us for 6 mile walks several
times a week straight after school; and conscious of any possible opportunity we showed a glimmer of interest
in. She cared for children who had lost a parent, (Patricia & Nancy) bringing them into our home and showing
us both how to share and support others in their own times of need.

Pam never got over the loss of her Mother, affecting both her health and strength as our mother. When dad was
laid off work she still managed to take on full-time work to ensure that bills were paid and food on the table.
Our move to Essex was a way of seeking to find a new way forward from the past in London. Bringing us to
Burnham it was clear that both Pam and our dad (Derek) felt a positive and immediate sense of place and
community, which they embraced. Their devotion and commitment to each other was unerring. When they had
said till death do us part they meant it. Pams involvement as a voluntary Charity shop worker and her
increasing commitment to the church was her preferred path following dads death in early 1996. Pam valued
her friends and the community life she was a part of. The simple things of celebrating life, walking the dog,
shopping and catching up with friends kept her connected for these nineteen years after dads passing. She

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Memories of Mum _ JB 2015_10_28

kept the family home in (26) Chapel Road going by herself. Her fierce independence and ability to manage on
very little through her life have been a light of resilience and strength. She truly listened and remembered.

With Bill in the USA and & I in Australia she mostly managed to cope with time differences in her
communications with us as she kept in touch with us as much as we with her. Bill & I have tried many times to
influence her decisions but Pams belief in following her individual path has always prevailed. As her health
failed and she was no longer able to get out so much with the help of her dear and much valued friend Stan
(Deacon) she found a place she could again be part of at the Southminster residential home. Liz Wynn and the
staff at the home made Pamela welcome, comfortable and supported in year last years. They remarked upon
her strength of character and fierce independence even to her final days.

She never shied away from speaking her mind, which was sometimes confronting. It will be hard not to hear
her simple, clear and bright positivity of self-belief and faith anymore in our lives. Pams connection to her past
family and animals has been evident throughout our lives. Her faith in the human spirit was never questioned.
Her sense of the universality of life and death were an early challenge to truly come to terms with.

Bill & I would like to thank everyone who has attended to remember & celebrate Pams life. Her friends,
family and those who cared for her were valued people in her life. Her faith in God, friends, family and love for
animals was, and will remain an abiding influence for Bill & I. We love her and hope that she and Derek have
been reunited.

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Memories of Mum _ JB 2015_10_28

Timeline;

1932_ Growing up as a girl in Bobbington Camp Army barracks where her father was a bandsman.

The death of her father (Bill Barclay)

The move to London with her mother and brother

1939_ The 2nd world war & evacuation from London

Return to London

2nd evacuation to Wales

1944_Return to London & new home

Nursery Nursing, Young Conservatives & Derek Ralph Blank.

1956 (Oct) Their Marriage & Honeymoon in Ireland

Move to Teddington Middlesex.

1957 (August) Birth of Jeremy

1960 (April) Birth of William (Bill)
1969 Death of Mother Millicent Hilda Barclay
1971 Move to Althorne, Summerhill.
Derek loses job.
Working at Wenlocks department store Maldon
1980 Move to Maylands
1987 Move to Chapel Rd. Burnham
working in Charity Shops & Maldon Craft Market.
1991 Bill & Sharons marriage
1993 Bill & Sharon leave for Canada
1996 Dads death
1997 Jeremy goes to Australia & Pamela becomes a grandmother.
1997 2013 Pamela maintains and retains her home at 26 Chapel Road
by herself on her pension.
2013 (April) Pamela moves to Southminster Residential Home
2015 (23 October) Pamela passes on.