The speaker recalls fleeing from her home in Balaka at age 16 to escape an arranged marriage and travel alone to Mzuzu. She questions whether she deserves the freedom she has gained but knows she would have been married off if she had stayed. While achieving her dreams of becoming a nurse and empowering women, she still sees herself as the 16-year-old Ateefah from Balaka rather than as Melina from Mzuzu, as others now see her.
The speaker recalls fleeing from her home in Balaka at age 16 to escape an arranged marriage and travel alone to Mzuzu. She questions whether she deserves the freedom she has gained but knows she would have been married off if she had stayed. While achieving her dreams of becoming a nurse and empowering women, she still sees herself as the 16-year-old Ateefah from Balaka rather than as Melina from Mzuzu, as others now see her.
The speaker recalls fleeing from her home in Balaka at age 16 to escape an arranged marriage and travel alone to Mzuzu. She questions whether she deserves the freedom she has gained but knows she would have been married off if she had stayed. While achieving her dreams of becoming a nurse and empowering women, she still sees herself as the 16-year-old Ateefah from Balaka rather than as Melina from Mzuzu, as others now see her.
Country Monologue The journey to Mzuzu was such a crazy experience. I think back to it and all I can remember is simply feeling rushed yet liberated. When I think back I just see glimpses of running and hiding, yet I see glimpses of freedom and rejoice. I was leaving home, but I was also leaving my biggest fear. I was 16, had I stayed just a bit longer I would have been married off and that would have been that. But now Im here and I question it: Do I deserve it? I dont understand. Is it selfish of me? My mother says to forget about Balaka, to live my life here in Mzuzu. But I know she says this mainly to keep me calm. I send her letters and she sends back small rushed messages on random scraps of paper. No one ever thought Id leave, I didnt think Id leave. The idea of southern girl going to the North, it was never thought of before. But now Im here. I mean Im here and I live my life and I go to the hospital but Im not really here. I had so many dreams; become a nurse, learn my Tumbuka, empower women. Ive achieved them all. But it doesnt matter, Im Ateefah from Balaka I cant pretend to be Melina from Mzuzu. Friends come over to my small home and talk for hours about everything here in Malawi. About the struggle we all face. But they are all Melinas from Mzuzu. They will never know what its really like. But I guess I got lucky because now Ive somehow managed to live my life as a Melina and I guess that means Ive succeeded. But I look at myself and I still see little 16 year old Ateefah while everyone else sees Ateefah: an empowered southern women defeating adversity.