Robot9000— A Non-scientific Statistical

Analysis of the Userbase

Version 2 (January 21, 2010)

Methodology

A total of 22 respondents filled out a web-based survey which featured a small number of
relevant questions. The respondents were anonymous, however they were all members of the
robot9000 AIM chatroom. All answers were self reported and as such there was no attempt to
verify penis size claims of the respondents. This report includes new data submitted by additional
11 individuals who took the survey after the release of the first version of this report.

Data

Age, sex and location

The main purpose of the survey was to gather basic demographic data about the denizens
of robot9000. Namely, the questions asked about the respondents’ age, sex and location, or, as it
is commonly abbreviated on the Internet, their asl.

Age

Respondents were asked to provide their age, in years. The oldest individual was 1257
years old. The chart below omits that entry. One can speculate that such an abnormally high
value results from the individual's travels through time. The median age was 20.5.
7

0
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Sex

Despite additional results, the male-female ratio remained the same, with 81.82% of the
population being male.

Female
Male

18

Location

77.27% of the respondents live in the United States of America. The rest of the
population is distributed among different countries on 3 continents.

Argentina 1
Canada 1

Chile 1

Netherlands 1

United Kingdom 1

United States of America 17

The respondents located within USA were asked to specify which state they live in. As
expected, Michigan is the best represented state in robot9000, with 22.73% of the respondents
living there.
 Pennsylvania
Oregon
North Carolina
New York
Michigan
Massachusetts
Maryland
Louisiana
Illinois
Florida
California

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

Miscellanea

The survey contained several less relevant questions that are nevertheless of interest to
some.

Height

Respondents were asked to provide their height in feet and inches. The shortest person was 5ft
3in, the tallest was 6ft 4in.
6-5
6-4
6-3
6-2
6-1
6-0
5-11
5-10
5-9
5-8
5-7
5-6
5-5
5-4
5-3
5-2

0 1 2 3
Weight

Respondents were asked to provide their body weight in pounds. The highest reported
weight was 342352345lb, which is some 55,000 metric tons above the displacement of a Nimitz
class aircraft carrier. The lowest reported weight was 130lb. The second highest value was 270.
The median weight was 165lb. The heaviest mammal on Earth was omitted from the chart.
270-274
265-269
260-264
255-259
250-254
245-249
240-244
235-239
230-234
225-229
220-224
215-219
210-214
205-209
200-204
195-199
190-194
185-189
180-184
175-179
170-174
165-169
160-164
155-159
150-154
145-149
140-144
135-139
130-134

0 1 2 3 4
Penis size

Perhaps the least useful field of the survey. Male respondents were asked to provide the
size of their penis, in inches. The longest reported penis measured 234000000000 inches. A penis
like this would not only be able to reach the surface of the sun, it would also be able to punch
through and come out the other side (assuming, of course, it wouldn't be destroyed in the
process). The lowest reported penis size was 2.6 inches. It would be best to leave that without a
comment. The median was 6.15.
8
7.8
7.6
7.4
7.2
7
6.8
6.6
6.4
6.2
6
5.8
5.6
5.4
5.2
5
4.8
4.6
4.4
4.2
4
3.8
3.6
3.4
3.2
3
2.8
2.6
0 1 2 3 4 5 6

Breast size

Female respondents were asked to provide their breast sizes. The four reported values
were: 32B, 36D, 38D and DD (with no band size provided).
Blood type

Respondents were asked to provide their blood type per the ABO system. 54.55% of the
respondents did not know what blood type they have, or otherwise chose not to answer the
question.
1

2
O
A
5
B
AB

Sexual preference

Respondents were asked to declare their sexual preferences. 86.36% of the respondents
declared themselves straight.
2

Straight
Gay
Bisexual

19
Virginity

Respondents were asked to state whether or not they are a virgin. A staggering 40.91% of
the respondents had had sex at some point in their lives. 54.55% declared themselves virgins, and
4.55% chose to provide no answer.

Virgin
Non-virgin
12

Preferences

Respondents were asked to state their personal preferences preferences of various sorts.

Favorite movie

Respondents were asked to list their favorite movies. The only movie that was entered
twice was The Big Lebowski. Below are all the individual movies that appeared in the answers,
sorted alphabetically:
• 12 Monkeys • Jeremiah Johnson
• Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Memento
• American Beauty • Pineapple Express
• Before Sunset • Rocky Horror
• Children of Men • Scorched
• Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to • Smiley Face
Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb • Synecdoche, New York
• Fight club • Thank You for Smoking
• Gladiator • The Big Lebowski
• Groundhog Day • The Wizard of Oz
• How High
Masturbation frequency

Respondents were asked to state how often they masturbate during an average week. The
highest number provided as an answer was 999999999999 times. This is amounts to a frequency
of approximately 1.6MHz over the length of the entire week. The most common frequency of
masturbation was 3 times per week.
800+
701-800
601-700
501-600
401-500
301-400
201-300
101-200
51-100
11-50
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

Suicidal tendencies

Respondents were asked if they want to die. 18.18% of respondents chose yes. 63.64%
did not want to die, and 18.18% chose not to answer the question.

Yes
No
Racial preferences

Respondents were asked if they hate any of the following groups: whites, niggers, spics
and chinks. Niggers have proven to be the most popular hate target — 40.91% of respondents
stated their hate for them. Spics and chinks were hated by 31.82% of the respondents each.
Whites were the least hated group, with only 22.73% of respondents hating them. It should also
be noted that every individual who selected whites as a hate target also stated that they hate every
other represented race. Perhaps this can be attributed to misanthropy rather than racism.
10

0
Whites Niggers Spics Chinks

Computer preferences

Respondents were asked three questions pertaining to their computing preferences

Ati vs. Nvidia

Respondents were asked to choose between ATI and NVidia. 50% of the respondents
stated that they prefer Nvidia, 27.27% stated their preference for ATI and 22.73% chose not to
answer this question.

ATI
Nvidia

11
Intel vs. AMD

Respondents were asked to choose between Intel and AMD. 63.64% chose Intel, 27.27%
chose AMD and 9.09% chose neither.

Intel
AMD

14

Operating system

Respondents were asked which operating system or systems they use. The most popular
choice was Windows, with 95.45% of the respondents stating that they use it. The least popilar
system was something called “POOP,” which had only one user. GNU/Linux users made up
31.82% of the respondents, and as such, it is impossible to decide whether or not 2010 will be
the year of GNU/Linux on desktop.
22
20
18
16
14
12
10
8
6
4
2
0
Windows GNU/Linux OS X POOP

Conclusions

This short survey revealed several crucial facts. For one, if earth is ever threatened by an
asteroid, we can ask the person with the 19 light second penis to deflect it for us. Contrary to
popular belief, people who associate themselves with robot9000 occasionally have sex. Also,
everybody hates niggers, some people are really fat, and some individuals are capable of
masturbating hundreds of times in one second. In addition, using pink to represent females in a
pie graph reinforces sex stereotypes, and as such may offend some more militant feminists, but
fortunately those are most likely not present in robot9000.