Title: Hate that I Love You

Pairing: Kyuhyun/Reader
Rating: G
Genre: Romance, Jealousy, Angst
Summary: Cho Kyuhyun hasnt seen Park Kyesin for seven years. He wouldnt want
to. But she would.
Foreword:

Love is a funny thing. Sometimes, it just hits you right in the face and you fall faster
than something pulled by Earths gravity. Do you realize how fast is that? Neglecting
air resistance, thats 32 feet per second! It can inspire you and make you into
someone youd want to be in the future. It makes you do things you never even
dreamed to do before. It takes you to all kinds of new places.

My name is Park Kyesin and love hit me like a lightning. It hit me hard. It was
inevitable. I was falling faster than I even knew. And soon I really fell.

I chased my dream because of love. I was inspired. I didnt want to let anyone down.
So I tried my best and worked my way to be where I am now: a successful
businesswoman and statistician.

But whats odd about love is that youll never know when it will go away until it
happens. It can trap you in a cage. And the worst part of it is that that love can turn
into something else: hate.

Im saying this because Cho Kyuhyun held my heart captive for years.

But now I think I want to break free.

~
Its hard living the life of an idol. You need to work hard to get noticed and receive
more offers. Idols barely get any sleep. And theres this thing about dating too. Idols
cant freely date anyone. They have to hide it.

My name is Cho Kyuhyun and Im an idol. Despite the hardships and struggles I
went through to get where I am now, I love my job. I love it because its what I
would like to do - make music. I love singing to people and sharing my talents to the
world.

Everything was going great. I debuted as a member of an idol member of the boy
group Super Junior almost 9 years ago and worked my way to be recognized as a
singer. Now, our group is known throughout the world, and dubbed as the legends
of starting the Korean Wave.

It seems like my life is complete, doesnt it? I have fame. I have fortune. I date girls
once in a while. I do what I love the most to do. And I have a set of members who I
could most definitely call family.

I thought this was the case.

Until Park Kyesin came and ruined what I believed.

Chapter 1: Hating Love. Loving Hate.

Kyuhyuns POV

Kyuhyun-ah! Come over here! I heard PDnim shout. I quickly went to his side.

Ne? I said politely.

Have you seen anyone youd like yet? he asked.

Ani, I pouted and shook my head.

Aish! So picky! he grumbled. You have a girlfriend, dont you?

Ah, ani. No I dont, I chuckled, denying it. But I told the truth. I didnt have one as
of the moment.

Lets just look someone who looks nice and complete this. We cant film til dark!
he said.

Yes, PD nim, I agreed immediately.

The cameras followed me around. Yes, youve guessed that right. I am an idol. Yes, I
am a member of the famous group named Super Junior. And yes, Ive just debuted
as a solo ballad singer.

I was standing in the middle of Gwanghwamun Plaza, singing my song, At

Gwanghwamun, to women of across ages. Anyone PD nim would find. I had
promised everyone that I would do so if I won a music show, which I did. It was fun,
some were shy and went away. But I loved singing. I do it with my whole heart.

Are we done? asked PD nim to the crew.

We need one more, sir, one man replied as he watched the videos. He then
whispered. Lets look for a unique one. Perhaps a foreigner?

How the hell would we find a foreigner who is willing to be filmed here?! PD nim
replied, obviously tired.

PD nim, a cameraman hyung called softly. He pointed to a girl, standing in front of

the statue of King Sejong.

Is she pretty? PD nim asked in a whisper. The cameraman nodded furiously. Go,
Kyuhyun! PD nim instructed me.
I went towards her with confidence. The cameramen followed me. So did PD nim.
She had long brown wavy hair and a petite figure. I wondered how she looks like as I
neared her.

Excuse me, I said in my best English as I tapped her shoulder. She turned around.

Yes? she said in a horribly melodious voice. It took her just a second to realize who
I was.

Yet I was stunned. Unable to say a single word.

Luckily PD nim stepped in. Ah, Miss, can you speak Korean? he asked in English.

Yes, she replied. I speak well.

Ah, good! May we film you for a moment? He is Cho Kyuhyun, a well known singer,
he said.

She briefly glanced at me, then looked at him. With her sparkling eyes, she spoke
once again. I know who he is, she smiled. But Im sorry, sir, I actually need to go
somewhere. I just stopped by for a few minutes. I hope I didnt cause any delay.

Oh, no worries, PD nim replied, suddenly so nice. She has definitely captivated
him with her charms. Take care miss!

She bowed down apologetically. Im really sorry. She then ran off and rode on a
black sedan waiting.

Aish what luck! PD nim sighed. Aish! Shes very pretty. She shouldve been
perfect! She looks half, though.

Yes she is. Half-Korean, a quarter Italian and a quarter British, in fact. I know.
Because that girl. That girl was Park Kyesin.

And I have nothing now but hate for her.

Kyesins POV

It feels weird to be back in Korea. Weird Though I didnt know if it was in a good
way or not. It has been three months since I moved back here from America. And
within that last month, every single vehicle Ive been in played the same song over
and over again: At Gwanghwamun.

It was one cold day that I was in Gwanghwamun Plaza, waiting for my business
partner to come pick me up. I took the time to walk around. Its been too long. I
couldnt help but admit that I miss this place, and of course that memories it held. I
went my way to King Sejongs statue and stood in front of it. I still vividly remember
the first time I was here, at the very same spot.
Then my phone suddenly vibrated. Im here! Look for the black Porsche. It was my
business partner.

I breathed deeply and took one last look at King Sejong. Its been so long.

Excuse me, a voice so familiar came from behind and tapped my shoulder.

Yes? I turned around to check who it was.

And it took me just one second to recognize him.

He stared at me blankly for seconds. Surprised, maybe?

Then an aged man behind him spoke.. Ah, Miss, can you speak Korean? he asked
me in English.

Yes. I speak well, I replied.

Ah, good! May we film you for a moment? He is Cho Kyuhyun, a well known singer,
he said.

I briefly glanced at him then back to the aged man who seems to be the director. I
smiled. I know who he is. But Im sorry, sir, I actually need to go somewhere. I just
stopped by for a few minutes. I hope I didnt cause any delay.

Oh, no worries, he replied all smiles. Take care miss!

Despite living away from Korea for years, I still havent forgotten my manners. Im
really sorry. I apologized and bowed low.

I went to the black Porsche waiting for me and got on. I looked out the window. I had
this need to see him again.

Of course I knew him. He wasnt just a singer to me. He was Cho Kyuhyun.

And I had nothing now but love for him.

Chapter 2: Wounded

Kyesins POV

You looked dazed. Are you okay? my business partner, Emma, spoke as she drove.

Totally fine, I replied with a big grin. I stared back out the window. It was nice to
finally see Cho Kyuhyun in person again.

Mind if I turn on the radio? she asked.

No, I smiled.

She pushed the on button on the radio. And It was as if fate was toying with me,
because the first thing that I hear on the radio was At Gwanghwamun.

I close my eyes and listen carefully to every single note and the tone of his voice.
How clean his melodies were. How perfect his pitches were. And how fluid he sang.
It was different from his normal singing style: his style of crazy vibratos and riffs and
distinct runs and easily switching from mid chest to falsettos and back. He sang
clean in this song. And it was simple yet sweet and very pleasing to the ear.

You like that song too? Emma asked when it ended.

I nodded. I really do. He sings well.

Ah, yes. Cho Kyuhyun really does, she smiled. I like how he sings. Its as if its
coming from his heart and the lyrics he sings He means it.

I nodded. He does sing from the heart.

He said in an interview that the lyrics of At Gwanghwamun were the feelings of the
writer, not his. But I beg to differ, she smirked. I think theres more to that. How
else could he have sang it so well? Anyway, Im a fan of his, actually. You should
listen to his version of 7 Years of Love. Its very good.

This girl has a good taste of music. I know wed be good friends.

Ah, I have, I replied. It is nice.

Great! You have amazing taste in music, she chuckled. So, how are you finding
Korea so far?

It feels different the last time I was here, I said. It still feels surreal right now.
Probably maybe because I spent too much time in America.

Hmm I know youll be able to adjust well, she grinned. Anyway, after we attend
the meeting at Sae KaEl corporation, what do you say we have dinner together?

Sure! I smiled. Its nice to make new friends.

Great! Theres this restaurant in Seoul I really want to take you to, she grinned.
Youre not a picky eater, are you?

No, I shook my head. I dont really care about price either. As long as its good.

Ah okay, she nodded.

The meeting with the corporation took almost forever to get done. The CEO of the
corporation was very precise and quite the perfectionist. Its absolutely hard to
please people like that. But of course, with the right amount of knowledge and a
little of my charms, we were able to come in terms with an agreement. As the head
of a growing statistical firm, I wouldnt easily give up on this.

It is in my nature to not give up easily anyway.

I mean not unless told so

So Emma and I went to dinner back in Seoul. The restaurant was near Han river. It
was a Chinese hotpot restaurant. I missed these kind of food. Back in America, it
was either fastfood or something that sounds so bourgeois. But this...this makes me
feel young again.

It wasnt an expensive restaurant but it wasnt cheap either. The two of us were
seated by a maitred. There werent many people dining. It was obvious that most of
them has money.

And then I noticed, two tables next to us were two familiar faces. Faces that Ive
seen before. Faces of people who were dear to me. Sitting at the same row as I am
was one of the most handsome faces in Korea. Choi Siwon.

And across him was the face that could make my heart go haywire. Cho Kyuhyun.

He changed. He was no longer the tall and skinny man with jet black hair I used to
know. He was bulky now gained some weight. But I like it. His shoulders were now
broad. His chest was huge. His biceps He has been working out hasnt he? But
then, his puppy eyes, his sharp nose, his thin lips and that mole right below his
eye my favorite physical things in him. They were still there.

They were talking. And very busy eating. They dressed simply, as if they werent
idols. (Even though whatever Siwon wears, hed still look like a model.) I decided to
keep quiet and not tell Emma. They were people too, after all. I knew they wanted
to be normal even just for an hour and have privacy as well.

But you know that feeling when someone is looking at you? Yes, I had that feeling.
And it came from his direction. Cho Kyuhyuns.

But I didnt want to be delusional. That maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him
that wanted to see me too. His surprised look this afternoon came flashing back in
my mind. Does that look like the face of someone whod want to see me?

I shrugged the thought off. It was absurd.

You okay? Emma asked.

Yeah, just a little tired, I answered.

She nodded. It has been a long day. She then leaned in and whispered. Dont
look now but Choi Siwon and Cho Kyuhyun are sitting at 2 tables next to us.

I looked down and chuckled. I know. I saw.

Should we get an autograph or a picture or something? Damn! Choi Siwon really

does look handsome in person! she said.

I dont think theyd want to give out autographs now. Pictures too, I said. But hey,
arent you supposed to pick up your brother from the airport tonight?

Crap! Emma said. I totally forgot! Damn it! Why does Dean have to follow you
around? Hes really crazy about you.

I laughed. She could be a scatterbrain sometimes. I know. But go ahead. Ill be

fine.

But the bill

Dont worry. Its on me tonight, I grinned at her.

Really? Its really embarrassing

No, no, I swear its fine. Ill just take a cab to go home, I told her reassuringly.

Really? Oh youre so great! Thank you! I swear, Ill make it up to you one day, she
said, hurrying. Thank you so much! Ill go now! she then waved goodbye.

And I was left alone at the table. It felt awkward to sit there alone. I immediately
asked for the check and paid. Without glancing at their table, I stood up and left the
restaurant.

I breathed a sigh outside as I waited for the taxi the maitred called for me. Its not
that Im avoiding Cho Kyuhyun. In fact, Id love to see him everyday. But theres
just. theres something

Kyesin? someone called from behind. It was male. And I know exactly whose it
was.

I bit my lip. I turned around hesitantly. Yes? I answered.

It is you! Choi Siwon smiled at me, beaming his white teeth and dimples. How
have you been?

Good, I nodded. And you? I meant you as a plural, though.

But Kyuhyun was at least three feet behind Siwon, completely ignoring our
conversation.
Were doing well, he nodded. How how long have you been here?

I came back three months ago, I replied.

Kyuhyun grumbled something inaudible and turned away. Siwon, being the
gentleman he always was, looked at me apologetically.

Your taxi, Maam, the maitred said, saving me from this.

Thank you, I whispered to him. I looked back at both of the idols and bowed. It
was nice seeing you again today. Ill be off now. Again. I used you as a plural.

I climbed on the taxi and gave my address. I fell silent in the car, playing back the
reaction Kyuhyun had when he heard I came back a few months ago.

I really did hurt him.

Kyuhyuns POV

Yah! Kyuhyun-ah! A pillow flew right into my face.

What?! I said angrily.

What do you mean What?! Hyukjae hyung said. Weve been calling you for ten
times already and you wouldnt even look at us! Whats wrong? You look like youve
just seen a ghost.

Nothing, I grumbled.

Ei Kyuhyun-ah~ Siwon hyung said. Girl problem?

No! I said its nothing!

Aish! Fine. You deal with him, Hyuk hyung stormed off.

Kyuhyun ah! Siwon sat beside me. Lets eat dinner.

No thanks, I muttered, checking my phone.

Ei~ Im always in China and Im rarely free. We havent eaten together for quite
some time now! he said. He was always so clingy. I was, after all, his favorite
member.

AIsh! Fine fine! I grumbled. Let me go get my jacket.

We went to my favorite hotpot restaurant near the dorm. For a man that spends so
much time in China, I didnt expect that he would like to eat at a Chinese hotpot.
But whatever. Wherever theres food, Im happy.

We sat down and ordered. Hyung asked his usual questions. How is everyone doing?
How am I doing? Anything new in my life? Any upcoming projects or schedules?

He was always like that. He was very protective and caring of me since I joined. It
was nice to have a hyung I could depend on. And he knows when theres something
wrong.

Whats up with you, huh? Youve been acting weird all day, he said.

Ei~ dont worry about it, hyung. I just saw someone who looked a lot like someone
I knew before.

AH he nodded. Arasso. I wont ask about it anymore.

Choi Siwon. He has this mannerism to rest his head on his hand and look around
with his eyes. Its been teased on within our group. Him and his Western
mannerisms. But he does really look like a model even if hes doing nothing.

But then his brows furrowed, as if deep in thought. He then looked at me with his
large eyes and brows pushed together.

Kyuhyun-ah, he whispered. That girl looks familiar so familiar. I cant remember

where I know her from.

He pointed with his eyes. And I followed.

And there she was. Sitting two tables next to us. Eating with a girl. There was Park
Kyesin.

I immediately looked away. Now I know why we ate here. Fate was toying with me
again.

Do you know her? he asked. Choi Siwon never forgets a face. I looked at him with
jaw clenched. Oh! he said, sitting up and clapped his hands once. Hyung and his
overreactions. Was she the one you saw a while ago today?

I dont want to talk about it, really, I grumbled.

He looked again. Can he be more obvious. Is it really her? She looks different.

Yes it was her. I could recognize those hazel eyes even from afar. But she grew her
hair long and cut it differently. She lost weight too. Her once chubby cheeks were
gone. She looked more mature now. More lady-like. She looks different...but not bad
different.
The girl opposite her stood up and left. She followed soon after paying the bill.

Hyung paid too. Right after she did. I knew what he was trying to do.

We went outside. I kept my distance. I didnt want to talk to her. Not at all.

Come on, Kyu! Siwon hyung whispered. I rolled my eyes at him. I was the only one
in our group who can roll their eyes to someone older. I always got away with it coz,
well, they adore me, I guess.

And there she was, waiting for a taxi.

Kyesin? Siwon hyung spoke up.

I kept my distance, disinterested from what she has to say.

Yes? she replied.

It is you! How have you been?

Good, she replied. And you? Was she trying to talk to me as well?

Were doing well, hyung said. How how long have you been here?

I came back three months ago, she replied.

Three months and you never bothered to give us a call, I grumbled, only to myself
and walked off.

Your taxi, Maam, the maitred said.

It was nice seeing you again today. Ill be off now.

Siwon looked at me and shook his head disapprovingly. You shouldnt be angry at
her, he said.

Why shouldnt I be? I muttered and headed for our car.

She really did hurt me.

Chapter 3: Secrets

Kyuhyuns POV:

Guess what, hyung, I said, slumping down on the sofa.

What? Heechul hyung replied while looking at his phone. He must be playing
something. Henry had nothing to do so he hung out at our dorm, looked at me.

Remember Park Kyesin? Shes back, I said.

Heechul hyung froze. Ryeowook dropped his whisk. Henry and Heechul hyung
exchanged soulful looks.

What? You knew?! I stood up from my seat.

Sorry, hyung, Henry spoke. I wasnt going to tell anyone, but Heechul hyung
found out.

Hyung! Why didnt you tell me? I said to Heechul hyung.

Ya! Why would you want to know?! he rebuked. Is it that important to you?!

Kyuhyun-ah, Ryeowook spoke softly. Its not a big deal.

That what? Youve been hanging out with that...that...that girl behind me? I said,
furious.

Shes really busy. We dont hang out as often as you think, Kyu, Ryeowook was
trying to pacify me.

Hyung, calm down, Henry said.

Calm down?! How long have you known shes back?

Three months, he replied.

I threw my hands in the air, defeated. You knew ever since she came back?!

Hyung, she just needed a place to stay for two nights since her apartment wasnt
ready yet so I offered my place, Henry explained.

And you were the only one she called! I shook my head in anger.

Hyung, she didnt know what else to do! She had no friends. I was the only one she
kept in contact with-- Henry stopped mid-sentence.

You. Kept. Contact. With. HER?! I gritted through my teeth.

Sorry hyung. We grew really close back when--

Dont say it! I roared, stopping him mid sentence.

Look, hyung, I was her best friend before. She didnt want to keep contact actually,
but I forced her. Its hard to let go of a friend like that.

Hyung! How did you find out? I asked Heechul, busy with his phone as if this isnt
serious talk.

Aish! I missed Henry so I went and visited his apartment. And then, she was there,
he shrugged.

How long have you known?

Two months.

And you? I asked Ryeowook.

Heechul hyung told us here in the dorm, he said, continuing to whisk the pancake
batter. Everyone knows except you and Siwon hyung because he was always
somewhere else.

We had a meeting, Heechul hyung spoke up. And Teuk suggested we shouldnt
tell you.

And why is that?! I said, furious.

Because this is exactly how we thought you would react! Heechul hyung put his
phone down and looked at me seriously. For fucks sake, Kyuhyun! That happened
7 years ago! Stop it and let her live her life!

I dont understand why you are all siding with her! I grumbled.

YAH! Kyuhyun-ah! Shes my friend and I hang out with whoever I want to, Heechul
hyung stood up and went to his room.

Sorry, Kyu, Ryeowook whispered.

Aish! What more can I do? You all went to see her behind my back, I said, sitting
back on the sofa.

We really dont hang out often. Were all busy. We mustve eaten just once. I barely
even talked to her. Most of us did, Ryeowook said. Its her and Henry and Donghae
and Heechul hyung who hangs out quite often.

Wow. Thanks for that, hyung, Henry muttered making a sour face.

Aish! I need air! I said, stomping off. I grabbed my cap and mask, put on specs
and went out of the dorm.

How could they do that to me? See her behind my back?! After what she did After
all the pain that she caused. After everything.
She left me without a goodbye.

Kyesins POV

I pouted at my computer screen. Theres a document I am supposed to be finishing

but I couldnt. And I knew exactly why.

His face keeps popping in my mind. Cho Kyuhyuns, of course. The face he made
when he learned I got back three months ago. His angry face.

I knew him well enough. And Cho Kyuhyun Hes not the type of person to keep a
grudge. Hes not the type of person to be angry for a long time. So if he does, you
know you did something seriously wrong.

I know I did.

Henry kept in touch with me when I went to America. I didnt want to, but he was
childish and wouldnt stop so I gave in. We grew really close before I left. He was my
best friend. And after all, 1 out of 15 members wont be a big deal.

My relationship with Henry was unlike any other member. We could talk about
anything. Music. Movies. Food. Everything we both liked. So he told me everything I
wanted to know while I was away. The usual questions. How are you? Do you have
many schedules? Have you heard of this piece? What piece was he trying to learn?

And yet he knows theres always that one question that I wanted to know the
answer yet couldnt ask myself: How was Cho Kyuhyun?

He would subtly tell me so in his stories. The first few months after I left was torture.
By the tone of his voice, I could tell that Cho Kyuhyun was furious for what I have
done. Yet I forced myself not to be affected or at least show it.

It was harder when Henry accidentally told me he started dating. I told him it was
okay. Kyuhyun has the right to. He should.

But I knew I was lying to myself.

As time passed, I learned to just love Kyuhyun from afar. Be that invisible face in the
crowd. I supported him, still. I bought his albums, bought his songs and
merchandise. It was, after all, my way of taking care of him Making sure he has
money to keep him fed. But It was no use hanging on to faded memories. I
convinced myself that I would be happy if he was. I thought it worked.

He offered that I should just stay in his place instead of getting a hotel when I got
back three months ago. My place wasnt ready yet. I knew if I stayed there, it would
cause trouble.
But like I said, he was childish and wouldnt stop. So I finally agreed. Two days wont
hurt, I guess.

And it didnt. Not yet, at least.

A month after I moved back to Korea, it started. I thought I was safe. Henry and I
kept me moving a secret. We might as well since our connections overseas were
made secret too. But one day, Henry invited me to hang out with his production
team. I had nothing to do that day so I said yes.

I shouldve been more careful.

Kim Heechul, the boy more beautiful than a flower, walked into Henrys pad and saw
me there. He was surprised at first, of course. He grew mad at Henry for keeping it a
secret. But unlike Cho Kyuhyun, he wasnt mad at me.

Next to Henry, Kim Heechul was the member whom I have loved the most. He
practically took care of me as his little sister. He was a very observant and sensitive
person. He knows exactly how I feel.

He welcomed me with open arms. I missed him, and he too, missed me. Its as if
nothing has changed between the two of us.

He later told it to the other members. I begged him not to tell Kyuhyun. Its better
off that way. I wanted him to live his life. And luckily, the other members agreed
with me.

Donghae would call often to hang out. Heechul too. Henry, of course. They were the
closest ones to me back then, besides Siwon. But Siwon was always busy and I
figured they havent told him that I have returned.

But still, everytime I hang out with them, I feel this jabbing pain on my chest. Guilt?
Remorse? Its as if they were betraying Kyuhyun by seeing me.

And I dont want that. I was the bad person in this story. I did something I have
regretted for seven years.

I left him without a goodbye.

Chapter 4: Moving On

Kyesins POV

Please, Heechul begged over the phone.

I dont think thats a good idea, oppa, I replied.

Ei~ come on! Its New Year! he said.

Oppa, I dont think Im welcome there. Its a company thing.

YA! What are you talking about?! Youre our friend too and I will invite whoever I
want! Its our party, he said.

But oppa

Do you want to spend your New Year alone? Who will you kiss at midnight?!

Who says its mandatory to kiss someone at midnight?! And who said I'm spending
my night alone?

Ei~ Park Kyesin! You will go because I want you to! He said. Now will I have to
drag you here tomorrow or youll willingly obey?

You chuckled. Kim Heechul, forever the diva. Arasso, oppa. Ill go.

YES! he cheered loudly. Then, his voice suddenly turned into a whisper. Whoops.
got to go, babe! See you tom!

He hung up.

New Years Eve party. It was them that threw it. The whole Super Junior. They invited
everyone from the company. Each one of their friends. Girl group members, boy
group members, all their managers, staff They would all be there.

What was I so afraid of? Him. Making Cho Kyuhyun unhappy. Thats why I didnt like
to come.

But I want to. Very much. Even if I just stand there in the corner and stare at him. It
was all I could ask for. As long as he was happy.

And so I went to their party. I picked simple clothes. Just a blue and white polka
dotted dress and beige pumps. I didnt want to attract any attention.

They rented a function room for the party. I went there around half past ten, an hour
and a half late. I did it on purpose. In my hand was a bottle of red wine, an
expensive one from Chile. My mother was half Italian and spent half of her life in
Italy before moving to London. So she grew up used to drinking wine during dinner,
no matter where it was. And I did too.

I entered the venue with trepidation. Besides Super Junior, will there be anyone else
who will recognize me? Its been seven years since I left. For sure many staff
members have changed. I know for a fact that the managers have. But still, theres
this odd feeling in my gut that I didnt want to be recognized. Maybe it was because
I wouldnt want to be talked about and later on upset Kyuhyun.
Hi, a young man greeted. If I remember correctly, his name must be Onew.

Uhm hello, I greeted back shyly. He was looking at me curiously. Im a friend of

Heechul oppas.

Ah, he nods his head slowly. Heechul hyung, of course

Yah! Youre late! Heechul spotted me from afar and came. And you met Onew!
He then patted the young mans back. Thanks for keeping her company. Ill take it
from here.

Yes, oppa, I chuckled nervously. Heres a gift, oppa, I handed him the wine.

Wah~ nice! He exclaimed, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulled me
into the party. Kyuhyunnie will like this!

My eyes dart to Heechul hearing Kyuhyuns name. His lips were up in a smirk.

Oppa, I--

Kyesin! A man came running towards me. Youre here! he said happily.

Its nice to see you too, Donghae oppa, I smiled at him.

Yah~ you two go mingle. Ill put this on the table, Heechul said and walked away.

Hyung invited you? Donghae asked. Eunhyuk also came and stood behind him.

Ne, I nodded. He forced me, actually.

Ah. Its been long since we ate out! Eunhyuk said. Lets go sometime.

Sure oppa, I smiled. They really were like family to me...back in the days.

Does Kyuhyunnie know youre here? Donghae asked. Heechul hyung told us he
saw you a few days ago.

I shook my head. No but yeah, we saw each other last week. I grimaced,
remembering his angry face that night.

Hes not too happy about it, eh? Eunhyuk whispered. Sorry about that. Give him
time.

Its fine, oppa. I understand, I said.

HEY! Someone suddenly tackled me from behind. And I absolutely knew who it is.
Why didnt you tell me youre coming? Henry said in perfect English.
I didnt know I was til yesterday, I chuckled, answering in English. Heechul oppa
forced me.

Yah yah! No English when Im around! Eunhyuk complained.

We laughed. I missed this Its just like those early days Back before all the
problems came in

Have you eaten? Henry asked, now speaking Korean.

No. I just arrived, I said.

AH! perfect! Im still starving. He said and pulled me to the buffet table.

Henry stuffed his mouth with food. He had always been like that. I still remember
when I first saw him. He was so cute and chubby. We used to call him mochi
because of his puffy cheeks. He has lost weight over the years, though. Hes lean
now.

But his appetite seems to not have changed. It was funny how he basically tried
every single piece of food available in there, and how he would force you to eat as
well.

Im not really a picky eater or conscious about my figure, but at the rate that Henry
is trying to let me eat, Id be full for a week.

It was when I was about to get a punch that everything about this day turned topsy
turvy. As I was reaching for the glass, someone else reached for it. Now I know what
you guys are thinking. Very cliche that Kyu and I will reach for the same glass, right?

But it wasnt Kyuhyun that reached for the glass.

It was his best friend, Shim Changmin.

Changmins eyes widened as he saw me. He was shocked. So very shocked.

I retract my arms and looked down, embarrassed. Annyeong haseyo, I said head
down.

I want to turn away and leave this place. It was torture. Memories flashing back

Youre here? he whispered.

Im sorry, Heechul oppa asked me to come, I whispered.

Since when did you come back? he asked.

Three months ago, I replied.

Does Kyuhyun

He knows Im back...but not here, I answered. I bit my lip. This is too much. Im
sorry, I need to go.

I turned away, fighting the tears. Those memories memories that I miss, they
keep coming back. I headed for the washroom, head down.

And because of this carelessness, I bumped into someone.

Yah! Watch where youre going! the girl screamed at me.

Im sorry, I whispered and bowed. I tried to walk away.

Dont you know who I am? she beamed.

I honestly didnt. But its better not to talk. Im sorry, I repeated.

Yah! Go! Go away I dont want to see you! she said and stormed off.

I breathed deeply and turned around to go the washroom.

And he was there standing in the hallway...he witnessed the whole thing.

I looked at him. A thousand memories are flashing back. I wanted to hold him. I
wanted to feel his hand like before. I wanted to bring it back to seven years ago.

But I cant. I left. I hurt him.

Kyuhyun clenched his jaw and walked away. He changed.

I ran to the ladies room, a tear escaping from my eye. Kyuhyun changed. Back then
he was protective. Anyone who tries to bully me, he fights. May it be a girl or a boy.

But he did nothing now.

Hey, dont worry about Seung-ah. Shes like that to everyone when shes drunk, a
girl came in the bathroom. It was Victoria Song.

I smiled at her and wiped my tear away. Im fine, thank you. I chuckled.

Are you a rookie? she asked curiously.

Im just a friend of Heechuls, I explained.

Oh, she nodded. Im Victoria, by the way.

Kyesin, I smiled back.

Just then, my phone beeped. It was a text from Dean, Emmas brother. Where are
you?

Dean was a close friend of mine back in Stanford. We attended school together and
worked for a couple of months. He has admitted his feelings for me way back then,
but I politely turned him down, because until now, theres only one man that I love.
He understood and we remained friends.

Some party at The Shang, I replied.

Boyfriend? Victoria smiled at me, eyeing the phone.

I shook my head. No, its just a friend.

She nodded. okay. Anyway, Ill be going back now. It was nice to meet you!

You too!

I took one deep breath again and went out, ready to face everyone.

Ten minutes til midnight! Someone shouted.

My phone beeped again. Doesnt seem like youre enjoying that much, Dean
texted.

Is it that obvious? I replied.

I sighed. I wasnt enjoying. The memories are haunting me here.

I dont like being alone. So I tried to scan for some people I could talk to. Hyuk and
Hae were busy. Heechul and Henry were nowhere in sight. I tried to look for Victoria
then.

Ohh.. This is good. What wine is this? I heard a familiar voice from behind.

Could it be?

Yes it was.

Kyuhyun was holding a glass of wine, Changmin by him and Heechul was smiling
beside him. You like it? Heechul asked.

He nodded. Is it from Chile?

Its from Kyesin, Heechul grinned wide.

Kyuhyuns expression took a turn. He glared at Heechul, despite him being the
younger one. Victoria suddenly popped out of nowhere and stood beside Kyuhyun.

Kyesin? Girl with brown hair, fair skin and pretty brown eyes? she asked. Oh, you
know her too, Kyu? We met at the ladies room. She seems nice. I was thinking of
introducing her to you.

She is, Heechul nodded.

Stop it, Kyuhyun hissed at him.

Yah, whos your hyung again? Heechul scolded at him.

Oh there she is! Victoria said aloud. She waved at me.

I smiled and awkwardly waved back. The wine you brought is delicious, Heechul
called. I just nodded politely and looked away.

HEY! There you are! Henry came running towards me. He was speaking English
again. Ive been looking for you!

Me too, I said.

Guess who I saw, he grinned.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Then, behind him came a tall American man, smiling
wide.

Dean Smith. You are unbelievable, I chuckled. He laughed and hugged me tight.
What are you doing here?

I have work here now too, remember, he said.

I rolled my eyes at him. I mean here. at the party.

Saving you, he grinned. You sound so dead bored in your texts.

I laughed. And how did you find me?

Went to The Shang, saw Henry outside, then he led me to you. Dean and Henry
became friends as well when I was in America.

Are you leaving? Heechul came up behind me.

uhm

Im sorry. Theres an emergency business meeting we need to attend to, Dean

said slowly in his distinct Californian accent. He was lying, of course.
Uhm.. yeah, I said and translated what Dean said to Heechul.

Oh, Heechul pouted. You cant stay til midnight?

Sorry, oppa, I really need to go, I said. Thank you for inviting me.

He nodded. Okay. Take care. Heechul kept shifting his eyes to Dean and me. Ill
call you.

I bowed and excused myself out of the party. Dean held my hand and led me out.

We walked outside, just to catch some air. It was cold, very cold but I didnt mind. All
I could think about was Kyuhyun. and how he changed...a lot.

He isnt the man I once knew anymore. Is this a sign?

Fireworks started flying to the night sky.

It must be midnight, Dean said, looking up at the pretty lights.

Yeah. It must be. Happy New Year, Dean.

He looked at me and smiled. Happy New Year, too, Kye. He slowly bent down and
placed his lips on mine.

I think it's time I should move on.

Kyuhyuns POV

I opened the door to the dorm. YES! I hear Heechul hyung shout as soon as I got
in. He was on the phone. "Whoops. Got to go, babe! See you tom!" He whispered.
Probably a girl he's trying to date.

Is everything all set for tomorrow? Leeteuk hyung spoke up. Venue?

Ne, hyung, Siwon replied.

Decorations?

All done! Ryeowook said.

Music?

Ready, hyung! Henry said.

Guests?
Yah, dont you trust me? Heechul hyung said. We all laughed.

Food and Drinks? Donghae and Eunhyuk gave a thumbs up.

Good! We should be there at around 6-7 pm to set up and get ready, Leeteuk
hyung spoke with authority.

I sat at the sofa, nearest to the window. Teuk hyung can be strict sometimes,
especially if he wants things to go really well. But hes a really caring guy. In the
earlier days, hed put us first before himself. He even takes care of our friends or
even the girls we date before himself. I remember this one time when Kyesin
scolded him because he looked so tired yet he still didnt want to rest since he said
others still need him. They were kind of the same. Stubborn. Never gave up easily.
And puts others needs before theirs.

Can you do that Kyuhyun-ah? Leeteuk hyung said.

Huh? I mumbled.

Yah~ Kyuhyunnies thinking of someone! Heechul hyung grinned wide at me.

I said, Can you check if theres enough champagne for everybody tomorrow? Teuk
hyung said calmly.

Ne, hyung. I will, I replied.

Leeteuk hyung went back to giving instructions. Heechul hyung stood up and
squeezed himself between Siwon and I.

Thinking about Kye, arent you? he whispered.

Please, I rolled my eyes at him. If ever Im thinking about her, its about taking
revenge.

Kyuhyun-ah, thats bad, Siwon said.

Yah! Siwon-ah, let him be, Heechul said. If he wants to think of Kye, let him.

Should we invite her to the party? Siwon said.

I glared at him. Are you kidding?

He chuckled, obviously did that to tease me. Im just asking. Hey, you were with
me when I first saw her again. I didnt go behind your back like this guy over here.

Yah, if you knew she was here beforehand, youd want to go out with her too!
Heechul snorted. As if you werent close before!

Aish aish! Can we just stop talking about it? I complained.

He doesnt want to talk about it because it makes him miss her more, Heechul
whispered to Siwon, loud enough for me to hear. Siwon chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and ignored them both.

That girl left me broken. I will never forgive her for that.

The New Years Eve party is a blast. A lot of idols came, both from our company and
from others. Heechul hyung does know a lot of people. It was loud and noisy and
crazy and everyone was having a good time.

And I was too. I wasnt really the type of person who dances on parties like a club
goer would. So I hung out with my own set of friends, Kyuline, as they call us. TVXQ
Changmin, SHINee Minho, CNBlue Jonghyun we are really close.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom a few minutes before midnight. Too many
drinks. On my way back, I heard a commotion.

Yah! Watch where youre going! a girl screamed.

Im sorry, the other girl whispered and bowed.

Shit.

Dont you know who I am? Lee Seung-ah beamed at her.

Im sorry, she repeated.

Shit. I want to do something. Shit.

Yah! Go! Go away I dont want to see you! Seung-ah said and stormed off. She
must be drunk. Shes always like that when shes drunk.

The girl turned back around, heading to the washroom hallway where I was.

Shit.

Park Kyesin looked at me. Her eyes Her hazel eyes... were soft and watery and

No. Park Kyesin left me. She means nothing to me now.

I walked away without looking at her.

Changmin suddenly pulled me to the side. Kyu, shes here! he frantically

whispered.

What?! I said, still in my head.

Do you still remember that girl...the one we wrote lyrics about for your album?
That girl from long long ago who 'hurted you the most'? he asked.

Kyesin? Yeah, I saw her, I said.

You did?! he said.

She came back three months ago, I said, leaning over a table. I just learned like a
week ago.

You know why?

Probably work, I shrugged. I dont care.

Yah! Kyuhyun-ah! Heechul came beaming at me.

I know what you did hyung, I groaned.

What? he grinned. I invited my friends. Shes one of them.

Hyung, you invited Kyesin? Changmin asked.

Hey, I invite who I want. Teuk assigned me to, he shrugged. Anyway, Kyu. You
have to taste this!

Heechul hyung poured the red wine in his hand into a glass. He handed it to me.

Im still mad at you hyung, I glared as I took the glass. I swirled it around a little,
took a sniff and tasted a little. It was good. Really good. One of the best I have ever
tasted. Ohh.. This is good. What wine is this?

You like it? Heechul asked me.

I nodded. Is it from Chile?

Its from Kyesin, Heechul grinned wide.

Fury peaked through me. Why the hell is he doing this? I glared at hyung.

Kyesin? Girl with brown hair, fair skin and pretty brown eyes? Victoria was
suddenly beside me. Oh, you know her too, Kyu? We met at the ladies room. She
seems nice. I was thinking of introducing her to you.

She is, Heechul nodded.

Stop it, I hissed at him. I dont want to remember the past.

Yah, whos your hyung again? Heechul scolded me.

Oh there she is! Victoria said aloud and pointed. Park Kyesin was standing in the
middle of the party. She awkwardly waved back.

The wine you brought is delicious, Heechul called.

She smile with those thin lips and turned the other way.

Kyu, you know her? I didnt know that, Vic said. Vic is the only female idol I could
tell my secrets to.

Ill tell you later, Changmin whispered to her.

Hey! There you are! Henry came running towards her. I watched from the side.
Then they were talking in English. The music was too loud that I couldnt hear much
and they were talking too fast I couldnt comprehend.

And then, a tall Caucasian man came from behind Henry. He gave Kyesin a big
smile. A smile I used to give her.

Dean smith. You are unbelievable, she chuckled.

They knew each other?

The man laughed and hugged her tight. What are you doing here?

I couldnt move. Why couldnt I move?

They were talking. In English. Someone please translate.

She laughed. Why was she laughing? Its been years since I saw her like that. Seven
years ago, I was the only one who could make her laugh like that...

Are you leaving? Heechul hyung was suddenly gone from my side and behind her.

The guy turned to Heechul. With a bright and confident smile, he told hyung
something.

Uhm.. yeah, Kyesin said. Theres an emergency business meeting we need to

attend to. Really sorry.

Oh, Heechul pouted. You cant stay til midnight?

Sorry, oppa, I really need to go, she said. Thank you for inviting me.

Hyung nodded. Okay. Take care. Ill call you.

She bowed. The man leaned over and held her hand as they went out.
Shit.

What is this Im feeling.

Do I still care?

Kyu, Changmin whispered behind me. I looked at him. He gave out a big sigh. His
brows were knit together. Shit, Kyu.

What?!

Kyuhyun I know that look. Dont tell me he trailed off, shaking his head.

What Chwang?

Then, Changmin said the question I was avoiding to hear for seven years.

Kyuhyun. You still havent moved on, have you?

Chapter 5: Business

Kyuhyuns POV

The life as an idol has its perks. Its not the money or the fame or people
recognizing you in the streets. But the connections, and things you can do with it.

I did a lot of thinking. For days. I thought about it for days. And I made my mind.

Changmin's question during the New Year's Eve Party caught me off guard. I
couldn't sleep that night, looking for the answer. For days I thought. And then I
finally had one.

It's not that I haven't moved on. It was seeing her smile and laugh with that
American guy, whatever his name is. No, I don't want her to be happy. I want her to
see how much pain she caused me. I want her to feel it too.

It's very evil of me, yes. That's why they call me evil maknae, right? I'm not
normally like this with girls I date, but when she left me, it took me one and a half
year, even more, to feel fine and start again.

So I asked Junghoon hyung, Prince Manager as fans would call him, to do a little
research. To look for Park Kyesin and where she works. As an idol, I can do this. I
have the money. I have the resources. It was easy.

"Kyuhyun, are you sure about this?" Manager hyung asked me as he handed the
paper with the details about Park Kyesin.
"Hyung, don't worry about me," I grinned at him.

"Be careful, Kyuhyun-ah," he warned.

"Hyung. I will."

"I am serious Kyuhyun," he spoke clearly. "The netizens now are like hawks. They
have no mercy either. It would crush your career if a rumor comes out. Especially
now that you've just debut as a solo artist."

"I'm not gonna date her," I groaned. "But yes, I will be careful."

"If ever I hear a rumor about you and that girl, I swear you'll get hit," he said.

Its bad enough that I got a sermon from Siwon hyung about revenge is bad and
such. Now manager hyung is scolding me about rumors. Of course, Ill be careful. I
dont want to get caught in those. Rumors can basically kill ones career nowadays.

But Prince manager hyung didn't know Kye. He wasn't my manager yet when she
was around. So he doesn't know the things she has done.

I scanned through the file. Park Kyesin is now working as the CEO of SSE, a growing
statistical firm. "Statistician, eh?" I muttered to myself, sighing. She still followed
what I wanted for her...

I closed the folder and searched the internet for the firm. The firm handles any
statistics needs of other companies and even personal businesses. One could hire
their statisticians to do any math they need. To be a CEO of that kind of big firm at
an early age...that's so Kyesin. Ah, hardworking as ever.

"hyung!" I called manager.

"What now, Kyu?"

"Can you please call the statistical firm?" I grinned. "Tell them I want to hire her."

"She's the CEO, Kyu. I don't think they'll allow that," he said.

"Ei~ force them! I really want her for MOM House. I know she's really smart and
hardworking," I said. MOM House is the hostel and dormitory I had built up. My fans
usually stay there when theyre in Korea.

Hyung knit his brows. "For MOM House?" He asked.

"Ne~ I thought it's time to hire a statistician. So I could keep track of the earnings
and consult her to know whatever can make the business grow more," I said.

"So... You didn't search for her because you want to date her?" He asked, confused.
"What?!" I guffawed. "No way hyung!"

He shrugged. "Okay then. Weird you just learned of her occupation today. but
Yah~ she's really pretty so don't come crying to me if you fall her. It's against most
company policies for the employer to fall for employees," he said. I know how you
are with non-celebrities. Be careful.

"Trust me hyung. That won't happen," I chuckled.

Manager hyung called her firm that day. He spoke a long time on the phone, arguing
and pleading to my request. We eventually got it and she is set to go to MOM House
tomorrow and meet her employer. Its too bad I couldnt go since I have Radio Star
recording but I have something in mind that will be just as good.

I grabbed my phone and smiled at myself. My evil plan is about to commence.

This is going to be fun.

Kyesins POV

You sly girl! Emma, a trusted business partner and sibling to my close friend
Dean, came barging into my office.

Excuse me? I said.

She had this big grin on her face. There is something youre not telling me.

Uhm that we got the job at SKE? I said, utterly confused.

What? They took us? she asked and I nodded.

They just emailed, I said.

Yes! Thats great! she clapped her hands. She suddenly shook her head. No!
Dont you distract me, Park Kyesin!

What the hell are you talking about Emma? I chuckled. We were really getting
close.

She leaned in on my table with a smirk dancing on her face. I know what happened
on New Years Eve.

I rolled my eyes at her. oh come on. Just that? You barge in as if Ive done
something so bad! Youre gonna give me a heartattack!

Youre dating my brother! she said excitedly.

Were not dating, I said, and continued to do paperwork.

Ei~ No need to lie, she said.

Im not. Were just.hanging out

At every possible hour youre available! She laughed. Im happy for you two,
really. My brother says you havent dated for years.

Yes. I havent. Because all those years Ive never opened my heart to anyone but to
Cho Kyuhyun.

And now Im wondering whether that was a mistake.

Mhm, your brother didnt date either.

Well, yeah, coz hes madly in love with you!

I breathed deeply. Emma, are you here just to tease me?

Yes, She grinned wide. She sat down on the couch at the corner of the room. I
really really like you. I hope well be friends for a long time.

Hey, if your brother wont quit following me around then Im sure we will, I joked.

Emma guffawed. Then well be friends forever!

I rolled my eyes at her again. Dont you have work to do?

All done, dear, she grinned.

Suddenly, my assistant came in. Excuse me, maam, but we have a situation.

What is it? I asked.

Theres a man over the phone that wants to hire one of our statisticians. The
problem is he only wants you, Maam, she explained.

Me? Whats his purpose?

Its for his personal business, Maam, she replied.

Tell him I dont usually handle personal businesses, I said.

But we did, Maam. And he still wouldnt give up. He wont hang up. Theyve been
talking to him for three hours, she said, obviously stressed. He said youre the
only one whom he knows that could do well. He said he was recommended to you
by someone from America, and that hes willing to pay.

I sighed. Alright fine. Please tell him Ill meet him tomorrow. What kind of business
is it?

Uhm.. hostel and dormitory, Maam, she replied. I nodded. she bowed and went
out.

What kind of person would need a CEO statistician for his dormitory business? I
mean, would he even be able to afford hiring one? I asked. Our firm is still growing
so our rates arent as high as the ones outside the country, but still, hiring a
statistician would cost a lot.

Oh, maybe hes a stalker, Emma laughed.

And she was right. Kind of. I shouldve listened.

I went to the address they gave out the next day. MOM House. Music of Mountain? I
took one deep breath and went in.

And I wish I shouldnt have.

Cho Kyuhyuns face was everywhere. Literally. Every corner, every wall theres a
picture of him. A couple of people were there. It seems like theres a coffee shop
here too.

What kind of business is this? His fans business?

Yes, Maam? A friendly woman dressed in an apron came to me. She mustve been
confused as to why I was just standing by the door.

u-u-uhm.. yes, I replied. Im the statistician? Im supposed to meet with the

owner today.

Oh, yes, she nodded. Please follow me. The owner is really busy so youll be
meeting with his mom instead. Dont worry shes really a nice person.

I nodded. okay.

What on earth is happening?

We entered one of the staff rooms. Maam, the statistician is here, the girl
whispered after knocking a little. She then gestured me to go in and closed the door
behind me.

The aged woman stood up from her computer chair and turned to meet me.
But as soon as our eyes met, a thousand pins struck through my heart. I felt like
shattering, breaking, collapsing

Kyesin, she breathed, just as surprised as I am.

I shouldve known. This was his business. This was Kyuhyuns.

Eo-eo-eomoni, I stuttered. A lump on my throat was forming.

We looked at each other for seconds. We were both as confused as the other.

It dawned on me. Kyuhyun is doing this on purpose.

But why? To hurt me? To hurt me like I hurt him?

He really has changed.

P-please, sit, Eomoni spoke when she finally caught a grasp with whats
happening.

A light knock came from the door. May I get you something? one the workers
asked.

Tea for me. Shes allergic to tea so is coffee fine?, eomoni said.

Ne~ eomoni, I replied.

I am allergic to tea. She even remembered.

We fell silent until the drinks came. It was so heartbreaking to see her again. She
was already like family to me. She treated me like her own daughter, and I loved her
like my own mother.

I dont know why Kyuhyunnie is doing this, she started.

Ah, eomoni I dont think Kyuhyun knows Im the one he hired, I lied.

Does he know you're back?

Ne, eomoni, I replied.

I think he knows. But its been a long time since I saw you, Kyesin-ah, she said
with a genuine smile. How long has it been?

Around seven years, eomoni, I smiled faintly back. I came back almost four
months ago.

Ah jinjja? How have you been?

Good, I replied. Busy with work. Eomoni, how about you?

Ah~ the usual. Our Kyuhyunnie had this house built just last year, she said. Hes
really busy nowadays. He comes sometimes.

You nodded. He must have a lot of work, I said, looking down at my coffee.

Mrs. Cho reached for my hand. You dont have to do this if youre not comfortable,
she said. Her eyes were soft and gentle. I can tell Kyuhyunnie to hire another one.

Ani eomma, I said, giving her a reassuring smile. Im here to do my job, nothing
else.

Are you sure youll be alright with this? she asked.

Ne~ eomoni, I nodded.

Okay. Im glad that at least I could trust you about our business, she smiled.

I can show you your profit rate, peak seasons, and basically everything you will
need to know to make the business grow, eomoni. Thats my job.

Ah, I see. I know youll do well, she said.

Thank you for trusting me, eomoni despite the events

Uri Kyuhyunnie wont tell me why you broke up, she said. He just became really
sad about it for so long.

I left eomoni, I answered, staring back at my coffee. I couldnt look at her. I took
the scholarship and went to college in Stanford. I Im a bad person, eomoni, I was
starting to break down in tears.

The Park Kyesin I knew would never do that unless theres a good reason, she
said. Was there?

I pursed my lips and nodded. I wasnt going to at first...but

yah, uri Kyuhyunnie made mistakes too, she croon. Dont be embarrassed. I
understand, she said held my hands. But past is past now. Lets forget about that.
I want to see you smile from now on, okay? you took really good care of my
Kyuhyun. Im forever grateful for that, she said, grinning at me.

I chuckled and wiped the tear forming in my eye. Mianhae, eomoni.

Yah, no need to be sorry! Aigoo, uri pretty Kyesin shouldnt cry! she said,
comforting me. Until now she treats me like her own.
Ne.. Kamsa, eomoni, I said.

We both stood up. Aigoo, its really nice to see you again, she said walking up to
me and giving me a nice warm hug. This is very nostalgic.

You too, eomoni. Ill come by once a week or every two weeks to collect data. Ill be
giving the reports monthly, I said.

Arasso, Ill tell Kyuhyunnie. Ill see you again soon. Next time youre here, well eat
out, she said.

Sure, eomoni, I said. I gave her one more hug. I miss you, I whispered.

I miss you too, Kye, she said.

See you next week, eomoni," I waved goodbye and went out of the room.

I sighed, and looked up, trying to keep the tears away. Seeing Cho Kyuhyun's mom
after such a long time...the woman who treated you like her own daughter...it was
so heartbreakingly nostalgic.

I walked out of the building, avoiding to look at any of the walls for they were
covered with Kyuhyun's face. I breathed deeply once I was out.

"Excuse me," I heard someone say from behind me.

"Yes?" I turned around.

Shit. I knew who it was.

She breathed a gasp. "Kyesin!"

"Eonni," I bowed in respect. This girl was, and still is, Kyuhyun's fansite noona.

"It's been a long time," she said. "It's nice to see you again." She smiled.

"You too," I replied.

"Uhm... I know it's not my business but are you.....again?" She asked quietly.

"Oh, no," I shook my head fervently. "i'm their statistician."

She was the only fansite who knew about Kyuhyun and me before. We both trusted
her. And she remained loyal to us. She kept it a secret and supported us quietly.

"Oh, did Kyuhyun hire you?"

"I think so," i smiled warily at her.

Cho Kyuhyun. My new employer.

This is going to be torture.

Chapter 6: Ice

Kyesins POV:

Heung, I groaned aloud, sitting on my desk. Its supposed to be a good

Wednesday morning but what happened yesterday was haunting me.

Miss Park, everything alright? your assistant came knocking in.

Is it against company rules to drink alcohol during working hours? I pouted.

She laughed. Ne, Miss Park.

AH! This is driving me crazy! I groaned.

Why is my sweetheart so grumpy today? Dean suddenly came in the door with a
paper bag.

I sat up straight. What are you doing here?

I brought in food, he said with a big grin. He placed the paper bag on top if my
desk and stood beside. Whats wrong? he asked, pinching my cheeks.

Stress, I pouted.

Ah, he nodded. Here, I brought you food. He took out cartons from the paper
bag.

Thank you, I said. Dont you have work?

Honey, its lunch break, he smiled. I knew you werent eating well so I came
here.

Dean has been coming once in a while. Ever since what he did after the New Years
Eve party, weve grown closer each day. The truth is, I am trying to move on from
Kyuhyun. Perhaps if I thought of someone else...if i spend my time caring about
someone else, Id forget about Kyuhyun. He clearly doesnt care about me now so
why should I? But how do you stop caring for a man youve loved since you were
fifteen?

I was trying really hard.

And Dean was a nice guy after all. And Ive known him for years.
Dean handed me a bento box. We ate together, talking casually about anything we
could think about. When Im with him, the problems slowly fade away. I feel lighter.
But its still not like before

My assistant came knocking again. Sorry to disturb, Miss Park, Mr. Smith, she said.
Miss Park, the owner of MOM House called.

I immediately pouted. What does he want? I grumbled.

Uhm, hes asking if youre free today, 2pm. He needs to talk to you ASAP. He said
hes really busy and theres no other time, she explained.

I sighed. Okay. Tell him Ill go.

She nodded and bowed, then went outside.

New client? Dean asked.

Yes, quite bossy one, I grumbled.

Dean stood up, fixing the empty cartons of food. Im sure hell soften up in time.
Especially its you thats handling it, he smiled.

I doubt it, I pouted.

Whats his business anyway? Pretty big corporate I assume, he said. He knows
how my firm works.

I shook my head. He owns a hostel-slash-dormitory in Myeongdong.

Hes a small business owner? he asked. Then why are you handling it?

Apparently hes got a lot of money and he doesnt want anyone else to handle it
but me, I rolled my eyes. I took my bag and got up from my seat.

Dean took my hand, leading me out of the room. Hmm.. probably a very influential
person.

Yes he is, I said.

We stepped on the elevator. I know itll work out fine, he said with a big grin as he
brushed my hair. Youre Park Kyesin. You do amazing things.

I chuckled. As always, Dean was flirting with his words. Thanks, Dean.

Do you want me to drop you off at the meeting place? he asked.

I shook my head. Your lunch break is over. Your boss might get mad, I said.
He nodded, agreeing. Alright, he said as you both walked in the parking area. He
stopped in front of your car. Have fun. Its snowing outside so drive carefully.

I nodded. He was always this caring. Okay. Take care, too.

Ill call you later, kay? he said.

Okay, I smiled at him.

Dean leaned in and kissed my cheek. Hes been quite careful since New Years Eve. I
knew he didnt want to step off the line. See you.

Bye, I said, stepping into my car. I pulled out of the lot and drove off.

And I was back to my grumpy self. Why do I have to meet him? Why cant he just
email me or something? Why does it have to be like this?

My phone suddenly rang. I answered the call and put it in loudspeaker.

Yep? I said.

Miss Park, the person over the line said. It was my assistant. Mister Cho called
again.

What now? I groaned.

He said he will meet you not in MOM House but somewhere else. I will send you the
address he gave out, she said.

I breathed deeply. Alright. Thanks. If he calls again, tell him that Im on my way and
I dont like people bothering my workers, okay?

She chuckled. Its fine Maam. Were all just doing our job.

Well hes one rude client, I said.

I will relay the message, Maam, she said and hung up.

I pulled my car over to the side and checked my phone. My assistant sent in the
address.

But isnt this a residential building? I input the address in my GPS. What is Kyuhyun
up to now?

I reached the address on time, despite the heavy city traffic. It was definitely a
residential building. I sighed and took the elevator to the 11th floor. It was in room
1105.
I stood in front of the door, quite jittery. Accepting this job was a bad idea. But I
cant do anything now. I cant show Kyuhyun how weak I am for him. So I took one
deep breath and rang the doorbell.

Yes? someone said over the speaker.

Its me, I said.

Who is it? He said back. It was definitely Kyuhyun. That honey voice was too
precious for me to forget.

I took one deep breath and decided to be professional. Mr. Cho, Im your
statistician for MOM House, I said.

He opened the door with a straight and serious face. He was wearing a nice black
suit and red tie. Come in, he said.

I chuckled. Whats with the monkey suit? I asked.

Kyuhyun furrowed his brows. I am your employer, he said firmly.

I pursed my lips. Sorry, I said.

He shut the door and rolled his eyes at me. Please, take a seat, he gestured over
the coffee table.

I sat as he instructed and placed my bag on top of my lap. Kyuhyun went

somewhere...the kitchen? The atmosphere is cold. Cold as ice. For the first time
ever I was afraid of Cho Kyuhyun.

Coffee or Tea? I heard him ask.

I looked at him. He didnt remember? How could he not?

Coffee, I replied bleakly at him.

He nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Really? After seven years apart, he
just forgot? I looked down at my lap and sighed. Seven years really is a long time. A
lot can happen in seven years...Hes been busy too so there must be a lot in his
mind

Kyuhyun came in with two cups in his hand. He placed your coffee in front of you.
So, Miss Park, lets talk about terms.

Terms? Really Kyuhyun, do you have to be so firm? I said.

I hired you, he said.

By force, I pressed. Look, Kyuhyun, I dont usually take jobs like this. But then
when this man calls my firm for three hours wanting a statistician but just wants
me, what should I do?

Youre the only one I can trust, he said, taking a sip in his cup.

Alright, fair enough, I said.

Tell me what you can do, he said.

You hired me without knowing what I do? I said, challenging him.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, as if deeply annoyed. Will you please just
answer? What can you offer me?

I sighed. The common misconception about us statisticians is that people hire us

and we do all the job. Thats wrong. Its not that what I can offer you, but what you
would ask me to do.

I do not follow, he said, tilted his head to the side. He always looked so gorgeous
when he does that.

You provide me the data, you tell me what you want to do with the data and I do it.
Basically, Im just your calculator and interpreter, I said.

So youll do anything I want? he asked. A smirk suddenly started to dance on his

face.

Mhm, I could tell you the mean profit per month of a year, the trends, for example
which month usually has the highest mean profit, lowest mean profit..I could also
help you with what you can do to make the business better. For example, if theres a
special promo or drink, if you give me your data, I could see whether this promo or
drink can actually affect your sales, I explained.

He nodded, thinking deeply. Alright. Do you have a laptop? he asked.

Yes, its in my car, I said.

Go get it, he said.

Excuse me? I said.

Go get your laptop.

I breathed deeply. I was getting furious. The old Kyuhyun didnt treat me like this.

Mr. Cho Kyuhyun, I started. You are my client, not my employer. You are not my
boss. So stop ordering me around or I could anytime drop this.
I stormed off the room and went to the parking lot to retrieve my damn laptop. Why
is he like this? Did those seven years change him into this? Did me leaving him
make him into this? Someone full of hate? I grumbled.

Cho Kyuhyun, what has happened to you?

I hopped back on the elevator and went to the room. Kyuhyun stood up from his
chair.

Im sorry for being rude, he said.

Its fine, Kyu, I said, setting up the laptop. What now?

He handed me a USB. All the data from MOM House from start of construction to
opening date til last month is in here. All the expenses and earnings per day are
also in here, he said.

What do you want me to do with all these? I asked, plugging in the USB.

Uhm I want to know how much did the business earn, if theres any, as in
subtracting the expenses for the land, the loan, constructions, etc., he said.

Alright, I said. I could do that. Kyuhyun stared at me. What? Now?

Yes, now, he answered.

I scoffed. Kyuhyun, do you think we do these for just a few hours? With data this
big it will take me overnight, the fastest, to even set it up in SAS.

SAS? He asked.

Statistical Analysis Software, I rolled my eyes.

Then you have all night, he said.

So youre just going let me work on this all day? I asked.

Yes, he nodded.

This isnt how this works, Kyu, I said. Do you know how much time I need to
input these data? Even if theyre in excel file, Ill have to check every single one and
input according to headers, clean it up, merge the files if the headers are the same,
sort the data, damn Kyu! theres so much to do here.

Look, this is the only time Im free for the month, he said, sighing.

Well, you dont have to watch me work! I said.

I I just want to be sure things could be done, he sighed.

Fine. Just this once, Kyu, I said.

Uhm actually can we do this once every month? he asked.

I looked at him. He was unbelievable. But he was Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun with those cute
puppy eyes. Kyuhyun with that angel smile. Cho Kyuhyun. I find it hard to resist him.

How am I supposed to move on like this?

Which day every month? I asked.

I dont know yet. It depends on my schedule, he said.

Of course, I sighed.

What does that suppose to mean? he grumbled.

I know, I know youre always busy, I said.

Is that why you left me? he asked.

I was surprised to hear it from Cho Kyuhyun himself. Id never thought hed be vocal
like this.

No, its not, I said honestly.

He nodded and chuckled grimly. I see.

Kyuhyun, you know I dont do things without a proper reason, I whispered.

Mhm, is Stanford a proper reason? he asked bitterly.

Kyuhyun, please. Am I here to ride on your guilt trip or to do work? I asked.

Why is he hurting me like this? Yes, I left him and went to Stanford, and I did
something I regret for years but he doesnt need to rub it in.

He nodded. Work, he chuckled.

I opened his files. He was quite organized. Theres a workbook for every month and
data per day in it. Who inputs your data?

I do, he answered.

You do?
Everyday at night, eomma sends me the sales for the day and summary of every
single thing bought or purchased, every single booking, and then when I have time,
I encode it, he explained.

Well thankfully, youre horribly organized. Makes my work easier, I said.

I started importing his files one by one to SAS. But of course, no matter how
organized one is, its still possible to make mistakes in inputting data. Its not easy
to read data one by one and check if theres an outlier in it. Cleaning data, thats
the hardest part in this job.

We sat there for hours without saying a word. I was busy with importing and
cleaning his data, and he was busy uhm actually, he was doing nothing. He was
just sitting there, watching. I tried to glare at him a few times It was kind of
bothering me. But he didnt move an inch. He just smiled at me and sipped on his
tea.

I finished importing and cleaning all his data by seven at night. It was half the usual
time for this much data. I started computing for Descriptive Statistics first, mean,
mode, frequencies, those things.

Kyuhyun suddenly leaned in, looking at me.

What? I asked.

Im hungry, he pouted. Are you hungry?

Mhm, Im fine, I said, busy with work.

I heard him sigh and then he finally stood up from his chair. He walked to the
kitchen counter and started opening cabinets.

Your house looks nice, I said, trying to loosen him up. Its good that you bought--

Its not mine, he cut me off. Its Donghae hyungs.

Then why

We cant do this in MOM House. Too many fans. Not in my dorm either. I cant rent
a hotel room. People might get the wrong idea. Netizens now are like hawks.
Reporters would do anything to get a scoop while netizens show no mercy. This is
the only safe place I know, he explained.

Oh

I borrowed it from hyung for a day or two, he said. And clearly he doesnt spend a
lot of time here since theres nothing edible here, he mumbled, checking cabinets
again. Ill just call delivery then.
I thought you dont want to get caught, I said. If you make a delivery then theyll
know youre here. Let me, instead.

Alright, fine, he answered.

But you pay, I grinned wide.

You havent changed, Kyesin, he chuckled. Alright. What do you want?

Youre paying. Ill eat what you eat. Coz Im not really--

a picky eater. I know, He said, nodding. He sat back down on his chair and smiled
at me. How does pizza sound?

As Ive said, not a picky eater, I said. I grabbed my phone and asked my assistant
to bring one.

Extra cheese, Kyuhyun whispered as I was instructing her.

The pizza came in fast. A trusted male assistant from our company, the one who
usually runs our errands like retrieving and delivering papers or drives, stuff like
that. He also brought the wine I asked for.

Were drinking? Kyuhyun asked, eyeing the wine.

I stared at him for quite some time. Did he really forget? He knows that I drink at
least one glass of wine every dinner. I was the one who introduced him to wine and
got him addicted to it.

It seems that Cho Kyuhyun forgot everything about me since I left.

I am. Its my routine, Mr. Cho. You can help yourself to some if you want to, I said.
I poured some wine into a clear glass.

Kyuhyun stood up from his seat and walked to the cupboards. He got something and
brought it back. He placed the two wine glasses on the table.

This is not the right glass, Kyuhyun said, pouring your wine into the wine glasses.

Thanks, I mumbled.

Kyuhyun sat back down and took the bottle in his hands. I sliced my pizza and ate.

Mhm, wheres this from? he mumbled to himself.

France, I replied.
How much is this? he asked.

Dont worry. You dont need to pay for it, I said. Its mine.

Kyesin, these things cost like $50-$100 a bottle, he said, eyes wide.

Its my money, Kyu. Just drink, I said.

He sighed and took a sip. This is good, he exclaimed.

Of course it is, I said. Its worth $85.

Kyuhyun laughed. Its definitely worth your money. He then tilted his head to side
and furrowed his brows. Went to America and you became bourgeois? He said,
eyeing the knife and fork i was using to cut up my pizza.

What? Its oily and I still have to work. I dont want an oily keyboard.

Mhm, he hummed and took a bite off his pizza.

My phone suddenly rang. Dean calling it said.

Im sorry, I have to get this, I said and answered the phone.

Hello? Dean said in the other line.

Hello, I answered. We were speaking in English.

Hey, angel. Are you home? Lets go out and eat, he invited.

uhm, Sorry, I cant. Im stuck with work, I said. Still not done.

Aww really? You cant sneak out for just a couple of minutes?

Sorry, really cant. Ive eaten already so you should go eat. I promise Ill make it up
to you next time, I said.

Alright. Take care. Ill drop by your office tomorrow. And be careful driving home
today. Its snowing like crazy, he said.

I chuckled. Okay. Take care too. Bye. And then I hung up.

Boyfriend? Kyuhyun asked, furrowing his brows at me.

Was he jealous? Or Was he just curious?

No, I said, shaking my head. Just a friend of mine.

Mhm Friend, he scoffed.

I rolled my eyes at him. He truly hates my guts, doesnt he?

I resumed working after eating. I finished Descriptive Stats after an hour or so. I
presented Kyuhyun the results, the graphs, and explained everything. But to be
quite honest, he just seemed...disinterested. He just nodded slowly and stared at
your computer while I discussed.

It was around ten in the evening when we finished. I fixed my things quietly, putting
my laptop back in the bag while Kyuhyun while he sat just looking at me. It gets
kinda creepy though.

How was studying in Stanford? he suddenly asked.

I looked at him, confused. Do you really want to know?

Mhm, he nodded. He looked sincere.

It went well, I guess, I said.

Did you get honors? he asked.

Yeah, I smiled.

Good for you, he said. You grew your hair, Kyuhyun said.

Hmm? Yeah, I did, I said.

You cut it differently, though, he gave me a soft smile.

Mhm, I wanted to try something different, I said.

It looks nice on you, he said.

Thanks. I felt myself blushing red.

He still can do it. Make my heart jump from just a simple compliment.

I took my bag. Uhm I better leave. Its getting late and--

Apparently we cant, he said as he stood over the large glass window that
stretched from ceiling to floor.

Excuse me? I said, walking over to him.

The roads are blocked, he said.

The streets were all covered with snow and ice. It was still snowing hard. It would
take them around half a day or more to clear it out.

What do we do now? I have to get home, I said.

Kyuhyun looked at me, deep in thought. Why dont we just sleep over for the
night?

Kyuhyun, I dont think thats a good idea, I looked away.

Kyesin, do you have any other choice? Look, Im sorry. I know youre probably
blaming for this, that I shouldnt have made you work here. But what can you do
now? Theres no way you can go out of this building, he said.

Hes right. But wouldnt this bring back to many things? I want to move on.

okay, fine, I sighed, defeated.

put your bags down. Ill sleep here outside on the sofa. You go sleep on the bed,
he instructed.

Are you sure youll be fine? I asked.

What? Do you want to sleep on the sofa? Or do you want me to sleep with you?!
he asked seriously.

I was just trying to be nice, I muttered, turning my back from him.

You can borrow some of Donghae hyungs sweaters. They must be in his closet in
the bedroom, he said, took off his coat and lied down the sofa. There must be
blankets there too if you need any.

Okay, I grumbled. Good night, Kyuhyun.

He didnt answer. He usually does...and even sings it sometimes. I guess he really

has changed.

I shut off the lights and went to the bedroom. I washed my face in the bathroom. I
then walked to the cabinet and took one of Donghaes sweaters and put it on. It was
cold, especially with the snow falling outside. There were a couple of blankets neatly
folded and piled up there too. I took one for myself.

I bit my lip. Damn it. Why cant I resist him?

Probably because I still love him.

I took one more blanket and one pillow from Donghaes bed. I quietly went out of
the bedroom and tiptoed to where Kyuhyun lay. His eyes were already closed yet his
brows were furrowed as if he was deep in thought. He seems to be asleep. I spread
the blanket over him. Very carefully, I lifted his head up and put the pillow under. He
always looked so pretty when he slept. Those long lashes of his...and that mole
under his right eye With my thumb, I carefully massaged his forehead, loosening
his furrowed brows.

I sighed to myself. I need to stop living like this. I need to stop reaching out to
him...loving and caring for him. I know he hates me. I know hes punishing me by
doing this. I stood up and headed for the bedroom. I switched the lights off and
curled into a ball. He has changed. He is not the jolly, caring and protective Kyuhyun
I once knew. Hes slowly hurting me now.

Maybe that's because the Kyuhyun I'm searching for loved me then...but not
anymore now.

I clutched on the pillow and shut my eyes tight.

I want to move on, Cho Kyuhyun.

KYUHYUNS POV

"Hyung!" I called.

"Ne?" Donghae hyung said, busy with his phone.

"May I borrow your unit?" I asked.

hyung furrowed his brows and looked at me. "What for?"

"I hired a statistician for MOM House. You know, to keep track of the business... I
need to meet the statistician but I can't do it at MOM House, too many fans there. I
can't do it here too," I said.

"Ah, arasso," he nodded and went to his room to retrieve the key.

"Promise me you're not lying and just want to bring a girl there, okay, Kyu?" He
warned before handing me the key.

"Believe me hyung, I'm very single right now," I said.

"Alright. When will you meet him?" He asked.

Hyung assumed it was a boy...but I have no intention of correcting him.

"Today after my schedule," I said.

"Mhm, okay," he nodded. "Oh! It's supposed to snow hard today."

"Who says?"

"Heard it on the radio a while ago," he said. "You can stay if ever you get stuck
there."

"Thanks hyung," I said with a smile.

I should've listened.

I called her firm right after my recording schedule. I had no more schedules for the
day until tomorrow afternoon. It was perfect.

I want her to feel guilty over what she did. I don't know if she did before but it
doesn't matter. I want her to feel guilty now. I want her to see how much she
wrecked me when she left. I would understand if we broke up normally, she could
have her reasons, but leaving without a goodbye? That's too much.

Park Kyesin is a gentle person. Or at least I thought she is. She's very selfless. She
always puts other's needs before hers so I knew if I asked her to come now, she
would. And I was right.

The doorbell at Donghae hyung's place rang at sometime past two in the afternoon.
I took a deep breath and spoke over the speaker.

"Yes?" I said.

"It's me," Park Kyesin spoke.

"Who is it?" i said, just to annoy her. Of course I knew already that it was her. Only
she has a voice like that.

"Mr. Cho, I'm your statistician for MOM House," she said.

I chuckled to myself. Much better.

I opened the door and acted very casual. After all, she meant nothing to me now.
"Come in."

Park Kyesin's hazel eyes welcomed me as she stepped in. She chuckled. It's been
awhile since I heard that. "What's with the monkey suit?" She asked, raising her
brow.

I furrowed my brows. "I am your employer."

"Sorry," she said, pursing her lips. She once told me I look good in a tux. So here I
am, trying to lure her.
I shut the door and rolled my eyes at her. "Please, take a seat." I then went to the
kitchen. I grab two cups and took the coffee and one bag of tea. But an idea popped
into my head. "Coffee or tea?" I asked.

Of course I knew what her answer will be. Coffee, definitely. She is allergic to tea.

"Coffee," she answered grimly. She must have thought I have forgotten. I nodded at
her and went back to the kitchen. I chuckled softly to myself.

I made her coffee and my tea. I went to the coffee table and carefully placed the
cup in front of her.

"So, Miss Park, let's talk about terms," I started.

"Terms? Really, Kyuhyun, do you have to be so firm?" She asked.

"I hired you," I reminded her.

"By force. Look, Kyuhyun, i don't usually take jobs like this. But when a man calls my
firm for three hours wanting a statistician but just wants me, what should I do?"

"You're the only one I can trust," I said and took a sip of tea. I've made this alibi
days ago.

"Alright, fair enough," she said.

"Tell me what you can do," I said.

"you hired me without knowing what I do?" She asked. As expected from a genius.
Damn it. why does she have to be so smart?

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I need to control my temper. "Will you please
just answer? What can you offer me?"

She then sighed. "The common misconception about us statisticians is that people
hire us and we do all the job. That's wrong. It's not what I can offer you, but what
you would ask me to do."

So I tell her what to find out about my business and she does it? Is that it?

"I do not follow," I said, tilting my head to the side. I know she finds me attractive
when I do this.

"You provide me the data, you tell me what you want to do with the data and I do it.
Basically, I'm just your calculator and interpreter."

I smirked. "So you'll do anything I want?" This will be great.

Mhm, I could tell you the mean profit per month of a year, the trends, for example
which month usually has the highest mean profit, lowest mean profit..I could also
help you with what you can do to make the business better. For example, if theres a
special promo or drink, if you give me your data, I could see whether this promo or
drink can actually affect your sales, She explained.

Of course I knew what she can do. I'm just doing this to annoy her. After all, I was
the one who told her to take up statistics in college in the first place.

I nodded. This is perfect then. "Alright. Do you have a laptop?"

"Yes, it's in my car," she answered.

"Go get it," i instructed.

"Excuse me?" She said, raising her brows.

"Go get your laptop," I said. I knew all too well the things that may annoy her.

And I was right. Ordering her around is one of them.

"Mr. Cho Kyuhyun, you are my client, not my employer. You are not my boss. So stop
ordering me around or I could anytime drop this." She then stormed off the room.

Shit. Maybe I went too far. Even though she's not the type of girl to just drop
something because she's annoyed, it's still better to keep her calm, for now. I need
to just slowly remind her of what she's done.

She went back to the room with a laptop bag in her hand.

"I'm sorry for being rude," I said.

Its fine, Kyu. What now?, she said. Shes so used to calling me by my nickname.
She then put her laptop up.

I gave her the USB. All the data from MOM House from start of construction to
opening date til last month is in here. All the expenses and earnings per day are
also here.

She plugged in the stick. What do you want me to do with all these?

I thought for quite sometime. I knew what would take up so much time. Uhm.. I
want to know how much did the business earn, if theres any, as in subtracting the
expenses for the land, the loan, construction, etc.

Alright, I could do that, she nodded. I stared at her. What? Now?

Yes, now, I said, keeping a straight face. Deep inside, I was chuckling.
She shook her head, surprised. Kyuhyun, do you think we do these for just a few
hours? With data this big, it will take me overnight, the fastest to set it up in SAS.

SAS? I asked. Of course I knew what it was.

Statistical Analysis Software, she answered, rolling her eyes.

Then you have all night, I smirked.

So youre just going to let me work on this all day?

Yes,I said firmly.

We argued for a couple of minutes about this. I won, of course. We have also came
into an agreement that we meet at least once a month for this. To be honest, I
didnt need a statistician. I just want to annoy the hell out of her, and make her
realize how much pain she caused me. I didnt want to see her, really. But maybe
my mind is really a twisted one so I set this up.

There was one thing she said, however, that made me think. She said that I was
always busy, so I asked her if that was the reason she left. To be quite honest, I did
think of all the possible reasons why she left me when she did. And one of the
reasons I thought of was that I was too busy for her. I would admit there were times
that I couldnt even send her a message, but it didnt seem to bother her at all
before. So I ruled that out.

It mustve really been Stanford. Her acceptance to that university. She even kept
that a secret from me.

So selfish.

She worked on the data quietly. I watched as she typed rapidly. I just sat at the side
and stared. She looked quite professional, and it was very beautiful to see her like
that. Ive always seen her as a happy and outgoing person so this is a fresh sight.
She was very mature in taking care of people, though, and that may have been
because of her sense of independence.

I never expected I would have fun watching her work. I had to keep a straight face
though deep inside I was smiling like an idiot. I did this to show her that I was
winning, but just...seeing her so focused, it was bringing back memories. Memories
during the happy days. During those times, we studied together and I always loved
watching her study. I remember something I like to do, pretending to be sleepy and
lean on the table while the truth is I was just watching her.

I love watching her hazel eyes move as she reads, her thin red lips as she breathes
and her long curly eyelashes as she blinks. I was madly in love then.

So why do I still want to look at her that way right now if I hate her?
I breathed deeply and leaned in. I looked at her. Those beautiful hazel eyes

What? she asked.

I thought fast. Im hungry. Are you hungry?

Mhm, Im fine, she said. She was so focused. Shes been skipping meals, hasnt
she?

I sighed. I stood up from my chair and tried to look for food in the kitchen. There
was nothing edible in the ref. I dont know how to cook so those ingredients in the
cabinets are meaningless to me.

Your house looks nice, she spoke. She doesnt know it isnt mine? I guess she
hasnt been keeping track of the things I do. Its good that you bought--

Its not mine. Its Donghae hyungs,I cut her off.

Then why

I sighed. We cant do this in MOM House. Too many fans. Not in my dorm either. I
cant rent a hotel room. People might get the wrong idea. Netizens now are like
hawks. Reporters would do anything to get a scoop while netizens show no mercy.
This is the only safe place I know, I explained.

Oh

I borrowed it from hyung for a day or two, I continued. And clearly he doesnt
spend a lot of time here since theres nothing edible here, I said, staring at the
cabinets. Ill just call delivery then.

I thought you dont want to get caught. If you make a delivery then theyll know
youre here. Let me, instead, she said. Shes still as smart as ever. I smiled to
myself, with my back to her.

I straightened my face. Alright, fine, I answered as nonchalantly as possible.

But you pay, she grinned at me.

You havent changed, Kyesin, I chuckled. Alright. What do you want?

Youre paying. Ill eat what you eat. Coz Im not really --

A picky eater. I know, I said. Of course. Thats one of the reasons I fell for her. I sat
back on the chair and I smiled at her. How does pizza sound? she really likes
pizza.

As Ive said, not a picky eater, she smiled and spoke on the phone.
Extra cheese, I whispered to her. She chuckled.

The pizza was delivered by a guy. She said he works for her office. Quite odd she
asks a guy from her office to just deliver the pizza...hm She put the pizza on the
table and in her hand was a bottle of wine.

Ah.. Park Kyesin, you really havent changed. She still drinks at least one glass of
wine every night.

Were drinking? I asked, pretending not to know.

She stared at me as if I asked her the most outrageous question. Well its true. She
knows that I know well about her habits.

I am. Its my routine, Mr. Cho. You can help yourself to some if you want to, she
said. She then poured wine to a glass.

I sighed, stood up from my seat. Shes using the wrong glass so I took two wine
glasses from the cupboards.i knew this because after all, she was the one who got
me addicted to wine.

This is not the right glass, I said and poured it into the wine glass.

Thanks, she said.

I sat and curiously took the bottle in my hands. Mhm, wheres this from? I
mumbled, trying to read the bottle details.

France, she answered.

France? Looks damn expensive. How much is this? I asked.

Dont worry. You dont need to pay for it. Its mine, she said.

Kyesin, these things cost like $50-$100 a bottle, I said.

Its my money, Kyu. Just drink, she instructed.

I swirled my glass, took a sniff and sipped. So damn delicious. This is good!

Of course it is. Its worth $85, she chuckled. She really has good taste.

I cant help but laugh. Its definitely worth your money. I looked at her. She was
slicing per pizza with a knife and eating it with a fork. I furrowed my brows, stifling a
laugh. Went to America and you became bourgeois? I asked.

What? Its oily and I still have to work. I dont want an oily keyboard, she
explained.
Mhm, I hummed and bit at my pizza. She was so adorable.

Her phone suddenly rang. She looked at it, and for a second, there was panic in her
eyes. Im sorry, I have to get this, she said and answered the phone.

I tried not to listen, but it was hard when she was just a foot or two next to me,
blushing red.

Hello? she answered the phone. She was speaking in English. Was she speaking to
that American guy at the party?

Uhm, Sorry, I cant. Im stuck with work. Still not done, she muttered. She then
pouted. She looked so adorable once again. Sorry, really cant. Ive eaten already
so you should go eat. I promise Ill make it up to you next time.

They eat together now? Maybe its just her friend...Maybe not...

She then chuckled. She hasnt chuckled like that when Im around since we met
again.

Okay. Take care too. Bye, she said and hung up.

I breathed deeply. Boyfriend? I asked, furrowing my brows.

No. just a friend of mine, she said and shook her head.

Friend, I scoffed. But deep inside, I breathed a sigh of relief.

She continued working after eating. She then explained the results to me after an
hour or so. But it was hard to keep focus with her face literally a foot from mine, and
her pretty hazel eyes looking right at me. So I pretended to listen and nod slowly
while she spoke.

We finished at around ten, and by that time, I found myself so confused. I watched
her fix her things trying to figure out what happened to her while she was away.

How was studying in Stanford? I asked.

She looked at me, utterly confused. Do you really want to know?

Mhm, I nodded.

It went well, I guess, she replied.

Did you get honors?

Yeah, she smiled. Good girl.

Good for you, I said. It was nostalgic...talking so casually to her. So I decided to
keep it up. You grew your hair.

Hmm? Yeah I did, She mumbled.

You cut it differently, though, I smiled at her. I looked great on her, actually.

Mhm, I wanted to try something different, she said.

It looks nice on you.

Thanks. she blushed red, like she always did before.

I wanted to annoy the hell out of her today but what is this Im feeling? I dont know
anymore. I couldnt help but be the Kyuhyun I was seven years ago.

I sighed and stood from my seat and went to the window. It was snowing outside,
snowing really hard. I looked down. Shit. The roads are all blocked. There must be
like 10 to 15 feet of snow out there.

Uhm I better leave. Its getting late and --

I cut her off and broke the news. Apparently we cant.

Excuse me? she asked and walked towards where I am.

The roads are blocked, I said.

What do we do now? I have to get home.

I looked at her. I have an idea but I know she wont like it.

Why dont we just sleep over for the night?

Kyuhyun, I dont think thats a good idea, she said, like I thought.

Kyesin, do you have any other choice? Look, Im sorry. I know youre probably
blaming for this, that I shouldnt have made you work here. But what can you do
now? Theres no way you can go out of this building, I pressed.

She sighed. Okay, fine.

Put your bags down. Ill sleep here outside on the sofa. You go sleep on the bed, I
instructed.

Are you sure youll be fine? she asked.

What? Do you want to sleep on the sofa? Or do you want me to sleep with you?!
I was just trying to be nice, she muttered and turned her back from me.

Shit. Why cant I just keep my mouth shut.

You can borrow some of Donghae hyungs sweaters. They must be in his closet in
the bedroom, I said. I took off my coat and lay on the sofa. There must be
blankets there too if you need any.

Okay. Good night, Kyuhyun.

I wanted to answer, but I couldnt find my voice.

I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep, but I just couldnt.

Then suddenly, something dropped on me, and my head was lifted up. I kept my
eyes shut of course, but I could feel Kyesin putting a pillow under my head and
fixing the blanket over my body. She even smoothened my forehead out, soothing
me. She was sweet and caring like she always is, and I wanted to hold her like I
have before. I want to open my eyes and look at her startled beautiful hazel eyes. I
want to reach up to her face and brush her cheeks with the back of my hand. I want
to touch her But I couldnt find the guts to.

She left after that. But I still couldnt sleep. No matter how I tried. Maybe its the
sofa, I muttered to myself. So I stood up, and got the pillow and blanket. I headed
for Donghaes room but my feet stopped moving once I was by the door. Was I just
making excuses? Just do it, Kyu, I said to myself. I took a deep breath and opened
the door.

Kyesin was laying in one side, fast asleep. I carefully climbed on the other side of
the bed and closed my eyes. Minutes passed and I still couldnt sleep. I looked at
Kyesin, her back to me, and started brushing her hair unconsciously. So soft And
slowly, I was getting closer and closer.

I dont know what came into my mind when I wrapped my arms around her tiny
waist. But I didnt regret doing so one bit.

It was like going back to before, back when we were happy and in love. Her hair
smelled the same, vanilla and strawberries. She smelled amazing as always. I
hugged her, shutting my eyes. My heart ached having her in my arms again.

She turned around, very well fast asleep, facing me. So warm, she muttered,
burying her face on my chest.

I hugged her tighter. It was satisfying. My heart was beating fast. My cheeks were
burning. My arms ached for this. Im sure.
And Im sure that I miss her...a lot. I want to hug her like this again every single day.
I want to see her, and just stare at her beautiful hazel eyes. I want to hear her voice.
I found myself wanting her more than ever as oppose to my original plan.

Changmin was right. I still havent moved on.

And I dont think I want to move on.

Chapter 7: Kiss

KYUHYUNS POV:

My eyes slowly opened. A new day has come, and with it, a beautiful angel was
lying beside me. Park Kyesin was still fast asleep. I looked at the clock. It was
quarter to seven. I dont normally wake up this early, and I usually throw a fit if I do,
but not today. Because today, I woke up with my first love beside me.

I brushed her hair carefully as I watched her sleep. She was snuggled up in a thick
blanket, breathing slowly. Her pretty lashes, her thin red lips and pointy nose... She
is beautiful.

Its been years since I stared at her this close and for this long, and its been years
since I brushed her hair like this. I miss it. I miss it all.

Where did all the hate go? I dont know. Its as if all the ice in my heart has melted
the very moment I embraced her again last night.

Why did you leave me? I muttered softly as I lightly brushed her cheek with my
finger. She wabbled and faced the other way.

I sighed. What do I want now? Why cant I let go of her? Why didnt we work out?

I stood up carefully from the bed and took the pillow and blanket outside to make it
seem like I slept on the sofa. It was still snowing outside. It was snowing hard. Guess
well have to stay longer than planned.

I walked to the cabinets and looked for breakfast. There was still good bread, and
peanut butter in the ref. Alright, I can make a sandwich.

I took a bread knife and spread the peanut butter on the bread. I then heated water.
I went back to the cabinets and look for what I need.

Shit. Theres no chocolate milk?

I quickly took my coat, borrowed one of Donghaes scarfs and wore my shoes. I
stepped outside. It was freezing. It was snowing hard. The roads are slowly being
cleared by trucks. I ran to the nearest convenience store but it was closed. I ran
further and looked for an open one. Fifteen minutes since I left when I found a small
store. I went inside, shivering in the cold. I ran through the store and bought one
packet of Swiss Miss. I paid, then ran back to Donghae hyungs condominium.

Where have you been? Kyesin was standing in the living room, surprised. Did you
go out?

I quickly went to the cupboards, took one mug and poured the sachet in. I added
the hot water and stirred. I handed her the hot chocolate.

H-h-here, I shivered.

She looked down at the mug. Thanks, she mumbled and took it.

I took off my coat and the scarf. My teeth were clattering.

Are you alright? she asked. I faced her. Her eyes widened in surprise. Holy shit,
Kyuhyun. Your lips are so blue! she said. She put the mug down on the table and
pulled me to the sofa. I was too cold to even react.

She went to the bathroom and got a heat pack. She then put it on my head. She
patted down my arms and on my chest. Your shirt is wet. Take it off, she
instructed. My shivering fingers fumbled through the buttons. She sighed and
helped me. It was a good thing I was wearing a wife beater that day. She grabbed
the blanket and wrapped it around my body. She then went to the bedroom to get
more blankets to place on me.

She removed my shoes and socks. She then took my hands and rubbed on them,
keeping them warm. She blowed into them. It was nice....the way she held them. I
tried to smile at her with my shivering lips.

She pouted at me. Her eyes suddenly turned watery and she was obviously trying to
control her tears. What the hell were you thinking, Kyu?! she said. You couldve
died! Do you know that its snowing really hard outside?

I chuckled. Y-y-yeah...I-i-itsss f-freeee-ziiing c-c-cold-d-d out-out-s-side!

She lightly punched my arm. Then why the hell did you go out?! she sobbed.

Ch-cho-choco-l-l-late

You went out just for that?! tears were now leaving her eyes.

I nodded my head and wiped her tear with my finger. Wh-why a-are y-you-u c-cr-
ying?

Because youre so stupid! she sobbed. She brought her feet up and placed her
head on her knees. Why would you even go out just to buy that?
Y-y-you a-al-waaays-s-s d-driink-k-k every m-mooor-niiing Y-youu b-b-becooome
j-j-jitteer-r-ry-y iiiiifffffff y-youu d-dooont, I said.

Her eyes widened in surprise. I never told you that, she whispered.

Y-y-yeesss y-you d-didd, my teeth kept clattering. Once r-r-reem-m-meeem-b-

beeer wh-wh--

I just told you that one time and you remembered? she said.

I blinked twice and swallowed the lump in my throat. I nodded.

She furrowed her brows at me, very confused and deep in thought. She breathed
deeply and stood up. She went to the kitchen. She came back after a few minutes
with a cup.

Here, she said, handing it to me.

I took the cup between my hands. Even without seeing it, I already knew what it
was. I took a sniff. It smelled the same as before. I smiled. This was the first tea she
offered me.

I took a sip, and it brought me back to seven years ago. It was as good as I
remembered. And I havent had this tea for years. She never told me how to make it
so that I have something to hold on to, she once said. Sly little girl.

Its honey and lemon tea with a touch of ginger, she whispered, sitting beside me
with her mug of hot choco. Honey since youre voice is like honey, lemon for good
circulation and a lot more health benefits, and of course, ginger for soothing your
throat, she said. It was the very same thing she told me when she handed me this
tea the first time years ago. She was still so shy with me then.

I remember, I said clearer now. You were the cutest little thing then. You were
really shy, I chuckled. I breathed deeply. Will you tell me something?

What is it? she said.

Why did you choose Stanford over me? I asked.

She looked at me. Kyuhyun, you need to understand something. I didnt leave you
because of Stanford. Yes, I left and went to Stanford, but that school isnt the
reason.

Then what is?

Thats left for you to find out yourself. I wont tell you the reason, she said.

Then how should I find out?

Why are you even doing this, Kyuhyun? Why are you even asking all these
questions?

Because I want to understand what happened between us, I said.

She sighed. Kyuhyun, honestly, Im so confused right now. Youve changed...a lot.
She looked away.

I looked at her. She was sad, I know. I know that face.

Will you tell me how I changed? I asked.

She wiped a tear falling from her eye. A lot Youre not the man I knew seven
years ago. I know you really hate me. You didnt fail to show that outside the
restaurant with Siwon and the New Years Eve party. For fucks sake you hired me as
your statistician, Kyu! I was fine with that...I understand. I hated myself for what I
did for quite some time too. But making me meet your mom, Kyu? That was too
much. You know that I grew up more than half of my life without a mother. And you
know well that I love your mother and felt like she was mine as well because she
took care of me like her own. I...I...I never thought you would do that to me, Kyu. Do
you know how hurt i was after meeting her? How I felt that I do not deserve her
hospitality and love?

Im sorry, i whispered. I felt her pain I knew I hurted her by doing so...but I never
thought it would affect her this much. But I loved you, Kye I really did. I loved you
so much it broke me when you left.

Do you think I didnt? Do you think leaving you didnt affect me at all? Leaving you
was the hardest thing I have ever done, Kyuhyun, she cried.

She wiped the tears falling down her face. I wanted to hug her and apologize over
and over. I know that my plan had worked, but Im not at all happy about it. Seeing
her like this makes my heart ache. After all these years apart, I still cant stand the
sight of Park Kyesin crying.

Shes right. I have changed. My heart was ice cold, but I know for a fact now that its
melting - fast. On the other hand, she hasnt changed. Shes still as innocent as
before. Still as protective and caring and loving.

What have I turned into? I quite dont know myself. How could I even hurt her?

She sniffed and stood up. Are you done with that? she asked, avoiding my gaze.

Yes, thank you, I answered and gave her my now empty cup.

Kyesin went to the kitchen and washed the cups and left them out to dry. She slowly
retreated back to the couch where I sat. She put her knees up and pouted.

Are you still cold? she asked.

Just a little, I said. Can I ask you something? And whatever it is, will you promise
to tell me the truth?

She looked at me with her innocent watery hazel eyes. Ill try.

I pursed my lips, took one deep breath and looked at her beautiful eyes. Do you
still love me?

She paused for a minute or two. And we just sat there, staring right at each other.
She then sighed with her eyes getting even watery by the second.

Park Kyesin nodded. Yes, she said.

I want to leap for joy. But I didnt. I kept my composure.

Will you answer one more question, then?

What is it?

Are my lips still blue?

Her eyes flickered, confused with my unusual question. Uhm no, not really. It
hasnt gone back to the original color yet, but its on its way there.

So will you warm them up for me? I said.

I wasnt thinking then. My brain was all fuzzy. I leaned in and placed my lips on hers.
Waves and waves of current pulsated throughout my body. It was incredible. Her
beautiful soft lips on mine felt amazing.

Its as if I had my very first kiss for the second time.

KYESINS POV

I opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar room. It took me a minute or

two to get a grip of what was going on. Yesterday was bucketloads of crazy that I
had wished it was all just a dream. But it wasnt.

I stood up and fixed the bed. Donghaes bed. To be quite honest, it was the best
sleep Ive had in years. Must be the mattress or the pillows or maybe the cold
atmosphere But weirdly, I dont like sleeping in a cold room, unless wrapped by
something warm. I didnt think the white blanket would be good enough for me

I first went to the bathroom to freshen up. Its 7:30 in the morning. I usually wake up
earlier, but it seems that the nights sleep I had was better than I imagined.
I straightened up my hair, washed my face and brushed my teeth (with which I
conveniently always carry a toothbrush with me). I didnt want Kyuhyun to see me
hideous, do I? I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

What do I do now with Kyuhyun?

I love him, yes. I still do. But hes hurting me... he hates me I want to move on.
Why cant I move on?

I sighed once more and stepped out of the bathroom. My phone rang.

Hello? I said.

Hey, sunshine, Dean was talking at the other end. I miss you. Should I come pick
you up at your place? Its your cars coding today.

Crap. I forgot about that. Uhm, Im actually still at my clients place I mumbled,
sitting on the edge of the bed.

The one from yesterday? he asked.

Yeah, I grumbled. Hes very demanding so it took us all afternoon and night
Then it snowed in so I couldnt leave. But dont worry, he...uhm...took care of me
well.

Mhm, I see. Do you want me to just come and pick you up there? he said.

Can you? I think its still snowing, I replied.

Yeah some roads are cleared now. Just text me the address and Ill be right
there, Dean said.

Are you sure its okay with you? I asked.

Absolutely! he chuckled.

Okay. Ill see you in a few, I said and hang up. I texted him the address.

I fixed my things and stepped out of the bedroom. I couldnt see anyone in the
kitchen or in the living room. The blanket and the pillow I gave Kyuhyun last night
was neatly placed on the sofa.

Kyuhyun? I called out. I tried looking at the other bathroom but it was empty.

I went back to the kitchen. There was a sandwich on the counter - it was peanut
butter. Then, the water heater went off So he was just here. Where is he now?

I looked out the window, worried. Its still snowing outside. Where is he? Is he out in
the cold?
I was getting jittery now Partly because I havent had chocolate milk yet - another
thing my mom used to give me every morning. And probably mostly because I was
worried sick for Kyuhyun.

The door suddenly opened. In came Kyuhyun with his coat covered with snow. He
had a bag in his hands.

Where have you been? Did you go out? I asked, surprised. He ignored me.

Kyuhyun went to the kitchen and went through the cupboard. He then took the
water heater and poured some on a mug. He took a spoon and stirred.

I went towards him. My heart was pounding.

H-h-here, Kyuhyun said in a shivering voice.

In his hands was a mug with a brown liquid. Thanks, I said, taking it.

I took one sip I smiled to myself One hot mug of Swiss Miss.

I spun around, looking at Kyuhyun. I could hear his teeth clattering.

Are you alright? I asked. He then looked at me. His face was pale. And his lips.
Holy shit, Kyuhyun! Your lips are so blue! I said. I quickly put my mug down and
ran to his side. I pulled him down to the couch. He was so cold.

I ran to the bathroom and got a heat pack. I put it on his head. I checked his clothes.
Theyre wet.

Your shirt is wet. Take it off, I said.

He was unbuttoning his shirt but he was shivering for it was too cold. I sighed and
helped him. His body. His body has changed a lot. He was unbelievably muscular
now. He was so skinny then, and yet I thought he was chubby now but I was wrong.
His arms were popping with muscles. His chest was huge. If I wasnt panicking right
now, Id be just standing over him and staring over his body.

I grabbed the blanket he used earlier, the one I used and a bunch more blankets,
and wrapped all of them around his body to keep him warm. I then removed his
socks and shoes and dried his feet with a rag. I sat down beside him, still shivering
and took his hands between mine. I blew into them to keep them warm.

My eyes started stinging with water as I slowly calm down, now sure hes safe. Why
would he go outside? is he stupid?

What the hell were you thinking, Kyu?! I said, couldnt fight the urge to just keep
quiet anymore. You couldve died! Do you know that its snowing really hard
outside?!
He looked at me with those puppy eyes and chucked. Y-y-yeah...I-i-itsss f-freeee-
ziiing c-c-cold-d-d out-out-s-side!

I punched his arm out of frustration. If I wasnt upset right now, Id be complaining
on how hard his biceps actually are. Then why the hell did you go out?! I broke
down, sobbing.

Ch-cho-choco-l-l-late he stuttered in cold.

"You went out just for that?!" I was crying now.

He nodded and wiped my tears. "Wh-why a-are y-you-u c-cr-ying?" He asked.

I wanted to say: Because I love you and you almost died, you idiot! But I just stuck
with the last part.

"Because you're so stupid! Why would you even go out just to buy that?!" I plopped
my feet up and placed my head on my knees.

Y-y-you a-al-waaays-s-s d-driink-k-k every m-mooor-niiing Y-youu b-b-becooome

j-j-jitteer-r-ry-y iiiiifffffff y-youu d-dooont, His teeth clattered.

I looked at him, very surprised. How did he know? I never told you that.

Y-y-yeesss y-you d-didd. Once r-r-reem-m-meeem-b-beeer wh-wh--

I just told you that one time and you remembered? I asked and he nodded. Why is
he like this? Yesterday he was mean but now Is this his new way to get to me? To
soften me up? Or perhaps perhaps he still feels something. No It cant be. I
looked at him. It makes me remember a memory before. I stood up and went to the
kitchen. I took what I need: ginger, honey and lemon and put in some hot water.
Here, i handed the hot cup to him.

He took it in his hands and he smiled. He remembered. He took a sip.

I sat down beside him. Its honey and lemon tea with a touch of ginger I
whispered. And then I told him the same thing I said when I first served him this tea
seven years ago. Honey since your voice is like honey, lemon for good circulation
and a lot more health benefits, and of course, ginger for soothing your throat.

I remember. You were the cutest little thing then. You were really shy, he
chuckled. Even now he has the capability to make my heart leap. Will you tell me
something?

What is it? I asked.

Why did you choose Stanford over me?

I looked at him. Until now he believes that lame excuse. Until now he thinks I would
leave him over a scholarship. Until now its not clear to him how much he means to
me. Kyuhyun, you need to understand something. I didnt leave you because of
Stanford. Yes, I left and went to Stanford. But that school isnt the reason.

Then what is?

I sighed. Thats left for you to find out yourself. I wont tell you the reason. Since
even if I do He still wouldnt believe me.

Then how should I?

Why Why now? Why are you even doing this, Kyuhyun? Why are you even asking
all these questions?

He looked at me and his eyes spoke the truth. Because I want to understand what
happened between us.

Kyuhyun. Honestly. Im so confused right now. Youve changed a lot. The old
Kyuhyun I knew may be gone now

Will you tell me how I changed? He asked.

I couldnt fight the tears anymore.

A lot Youre not the man I knew seven years ago. I know you really hate me. You
didnt fail to show that outside the restaurant with Siwon and the New Years Eve
party. For fucks sake you hired me as your statistician, Kyu! I was fine with that...I
understand. I hated myself for what I did for quite some time too. But making me
meet your mom, Kyu? That was too much. You know that I grew up more than half of
my life without a mother. And you know well that I love your mother and felt like she
was mine as well because she took care of me like her own. I...I...I never thought
you would do that to me, Kyu. Do you know how hurt i was after meeting her? How I
felt that I do not deserve her hospitality and love?

Im sorry he whispered. I couldnt look at him now. But I loved you, Kye I really
did. I loved you so much it broke me when you left.

Do you think I didnt? Do you think it leaving you didnt affect me at all? Leaving
you was the hardest thing I have ever done, Kyuhyun. I could talk for a while
Are you done with that? I asked, pointing to his cup.

Yes, thank you, he answered.

I took it and washed our cups in the sink. I needed to get away for a while To have
space so that I could breathe and compose myself again. When I was ready I went
back to the couch, put my feet up again.

Are you still cold? I asked. Why cant I stop caring for him?
Just a little, he said. Can I ask you something? Whatever it is, will you promise to
tell me the truth.

I finally looked at him. His gorgeous face was just inches away from mine. Ill try.

He took a deep breath before speaking. Do you still love me?

His words rang in my ear and I couldnt comprehend it for seconds. Do I still love
him? Thats a stupid question. But the real question is here is whether I would tell
him the truth or not. My heart ached. Of course. Of course I should tell him the
truth.

I nodded Yes.

Will you answer one more question, then?

What is it? I asked, sniffing.

Are my lips still blue?

The question took me by surprise. It was so sudden. Uhm No, not really. It hasnt
gone back to the original color yet, but its on its way there. I answered.

Cho kyuhyun smiled a little. So will you warm them up for me?

My heart skipped a beat hearing those words. I froze, not knowing what to do. He
slowly leaned in. What What is happening I unconsciously closed my eyes.

And his lips were on top of mine in a second. I could feel the heat coming from our
lips. I could feel my heart going haywire again. I could feel my fingers tingling to get
a hold of him. Ive been longing for this kiss for years, and it was even better than I
remember. The tears keep spilling out of my eyes. I could feel how much I longed for
him How I miss him How I love him

What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Is this his new way to break me? He knows
how much I love him still Is he luring me to fall for him again yet break it like the
same way I broke him? I dont understand anymore.

Kyuhyun I shook my head crying as our lips parted. Why are you doing this?
Why are you hurting me? I know you hate me. And Im sorry for leaving you, and I
get that I deserve this all But not like this I dont want to fall for you again

Kye He whispered.

The doorbell suddenly rang through the apartment. Kyuhyun looked at the door,
confused.
Thats Dean I whispered. I stood up and got my bag as I wiped my tears. I dont
want Dean to see me like this...broken and apart again..

Hes fetching you? He asked.

I sighed. Yes.

He grabbed my hand. Who said he could?

I did, i said. I wiped the tears that fell. Kyuhyun, just let me go.

I headed for the door and opened it. Deans expression immediately change to
worry. Hey, what happened? He whispered.

Its nothing. Lets just leave, i told him.

Kye. No, Kyuhyun said in an authoritative voice.

I glanced back at him and shook my head. I held Deans hand and looked up at the
American man. lets go, I whispered.

Dean wrapped an arm around me tight. His eyes shifted from Kyuhyun to me. He
smiled at me and pulled me out of the apartment.

Chapter 8: Selfish

KYESINS POV

I sat in Deans passenger seat in silence, staring blankly at the window. My lips still
throbbed from that kiss...that kiss is whats making my head hurt. What did that kiss
mean? Did it even mean something? Or was he just messing with me? He, after all,
is torturing me with all that is happening now He really did change

Are you alright? Dean asked as he drove carefully down the icy road.

Huh? I asked, not catching the question.

He glanced at me worriedly for a second. I asked if youre alright He whispered.

Oh Yeah Thanks for picking me up by the way, I said.

No problem He breathed deeply. Do you want me to drop you off at your office
or at home? You look dead tired.

I looked at him. Dean has been consistently worried about me and he has took care
of me since weve met. Hes a patient guy. Home, please, I told him. I look back
out the window.
Its him, isnt he? The guy He whispered. I saw it in your eyes earlier the way
you look at him, and the way he looks at you.

I breathed deeply and lightly touched his hand placed on the steering wheel. Im
sorry, Dean.

Dont be sorry, he said with a smile.

I should! Im dating you now, I said.

He pursed his lips. So you do admit that we are officially dating? He smiled
teasingly at me.

I cant help but chuckle. Well if I cant call snogging at New Years eve dating then
I dont know what were doing.

He laughed. He took one hand off the steering wheel to hold mine. I know youre
having a hard time now But I promise its all going to be better soon. He kissed
my hand.

Thank you, Dean. Really Youve waited so long

If its you, I can wait a lifetime, he smiled wide.

But you know, hes changed now He hates me, I chuckled bitterly.

But you havent. You still love him. Dean spoke the bitter truth. You always
have.

Im trying not to anymore. I want to forget him But hes making it so hard, I
whispered.

You know why its hard for you? He chuckled. Its because you keep looking for
the guy you loved before.

I stared at him. He was right. I

Why dont you look back at everything Every memory of him and look at the
other side of it all? Look at the reason why you left Look at the reason why it hurts
when you see him now He said. He then sighed quickly afterwards. Im not
trying to make myself look better to you Im just helping you see his other side.
There always two sides in a person: the good and the bad.

Maybe youre right, I admitted.

Youve always looked at yourself as the bad person in the relationship between you
two Ive been by your side for years and all those time you felt you were the
selfish one. I beg you, Kyesin. Look at it the other way around, the same way I do.
I sighed. Maybe Maybe I should.

Dean stopped in front of your building. Thanks for the lift, I said.

No worries, he smiled. Ill have your car parked in your spot later.

Thank you so much.

Remember what I told you, okay? He smiled warily before kissing my cheek. Hes
been so patient I breathed deeply. I unbuckled my seatbelt so that I could lean on
his side. I placed my lips on his for a second.

See you tomorrow, Dean, I smiled at him before getting off his car.

I slowly made my way to my place. I threw my bag on the couch and slumped on
my bed. I got my pillow and hugged it, fighting the tears that are about to fall.

Why? Why didnt I feel as much when I kissed Dean compared to when Kyuhyun
kissed me? Why does my heart still beat for him when he obviously hates me? Why
do I still love Cho Kyuhyun?

KYUHYUNS POV

I drove back to the dorm feeling a lot of things. Frustration. Anger. Confusion.
Jealousy? Maybe. Love? No. Definitely not. But if it isnt love then what is it?
Overwhelming nostalgia?

Hey KyuKyu! Heechul hyung greeted as I entered. He was playing video games.
Wanna play?

Not in the mood, I groaned, lying down on the couch. Wheres Donghae hyung?

Out with a schedule, hyung said. Dont you have one?

No, I grumbled.

He finally took his eyes off the big screen. Yah! Whats up with you?!

I sighed. Nothing!

He narrowed his eyes at me before looking back at the game. Yah Cho Kyuhyun, if
youre just going to be like that, just go to your room.

I groaned and ignored hyung. I stood up and scavenged the kitchen for leftover
food. I found some grilled chicken sandwich in the refrigerator. I took it out and
reheated it in the microwave. I sat at the counter, pretending to watch Heechul
hyung play.
But all I could think of was Kyesin. Her hazel eyes Her brown wavy hair Her thin
red lips Even until now I could still electricity on my lips from the kiss. Why Why
do I feel this way? I thought I had gotten over her. I thought I hated her for leaving
me. I thought I hated her for being so selfish. Why is she so selfish?! I said aloud.

Heechul hyungs snapped up and he looked at me. What the hell are you saying
there?

Nothing, hyung, I shook my head.

He shut his game off and stood. You think shes selfish? You think Park Kyesin is
selfish? He asked angrily.

I looked away. I didnt say that.

Yah! Look at me when Im talking to you Cho Kyuhyun! Do you know what your
problem is?

What, hyung?! What?! My fury rose and I shouted at him.

You still love her! He spitted at me.

I froze. No, I dont!

Then tell me why are you thinking about her now? Tell me, why the moment you
saw her again, you became like this? Please, Kyuhyun. I saw your eyes when that
foreigner came to fetch her during the party. Those are not the eyes of someone
who has let go. And tell me, why none of your relationships these years lasted for
more than six months?! Because deep inside you still love her and you cant fucking
let her go! You couldnt find a single woman as good or better than her! Youre like a
brother to me and I notice all these things! Do you know what the opposite of love
is, Kyuhyun? Its not hate. Its indifference! Indifference! if you really dont love her
anymore then you wouldnt bother her! You wouldnt be thinking of her and just let
her live her life.

I stood up from my chair. What the fuck am I supposed to do, hyung? Just let her go
from what she did to me?! Just forgive her for being so selfish?!

Selfish?! He scoffed and shook his head. Park Kyesin has never been selfish,
Kyuhyun. Youre the selfish one.

Me?! I shouted. In case you dont remember, she left me, hyung! She. Left. Me!

But she would never do so if I hadnt told, no - begged her to! He screamed at me.
I froze, lost for words. You were the selfish one, Kyuhyun. She did everything for
you. She made sure you ate well and you have something to eat whenever you get
home. She made sure you got enough rest. She made sure you were healthy. She
even stays to help clean up in the dorm! She did all these things for you. She would
rush here right after her classes, and then when she has done her job, shed go
home and study all night. Did you know she barely got any sleep? Did you know she
frequently cries when shes alone? Did you know how much pain you were causing
her, but she tried to bear it all since she loves you so much and she understands
that its difficult for you to date since youre an idol? She was slowly getting sicker
and sicker Her health was deteriorating yet you didnt even see it. She almost
fainted, Kyu She even tried to hide it from us. All she wanted from you was just
one night out, Kyuhyun. Just one. Even just one dinner. Yet you didnt give her any
for months.

Hyung

But he ignored me. He kept going. His eyes were red. She loves you so much
Kyuhyun that even though she was pale, had fever and too tired to move, she had
to keep going. I couldnt bear see her like that anymore. None of us could. Henry
and Donghae cried to me asking what we should do about it. Then when I finally
couldnt take it anymore, I begged her to leave. She wouldnt at first. You know her.
Stubborn as always. But eventually she caved in, using the scholarship to Stanford
as an excuse. She begged us not to tell you but I couldnt hide it anymore. Not with
you thinking shes the selfish one in this story. Heechul hyung took his coat angrily
and grabbed his keys. Go on and reflect on what I just said and then youll realize
how stupid you are for hurting her, he said before storming off the dorm

I sat on my chair with so many thoughts in my head. Shocked as if the hard truth
was just slapped to me. I could feel the warm tears roll down my face. Was this
Was it really all my fault?

Chapter 9: The good part

KYUHYUNs POV

I still remember everything clearly like it was only yesterday

I was one of the best in Mathematics in school. Well, to be frank, I was the best. I
love Math. It wasnt hard at all for me. Unlike others, I enjoy solving problems. The
trick is not to memorize the equations but rather understand the concepts so that
you could fully appreciate it. Maybe thats the reason why I excel.

I was in my senior year when I first met Park Kyesin. Our school took the Math team
out to Jisan Forest Resort, a ski resort, for something like a team building training or
whatever. To be honest, I liked the idea of it. Enjoying and training at the same time.

There were twelve of us in the team. All guys. Three of them were my closest
friends. Kim Ueno, was my best friend at that time. Hes somewhat comparable to
Siwon among the members. Hes polite and overall a good man. He loves to play
starcraft as much as I do. He was quite good looking too. Jung Jaehyun and Ye
Moonyoung are the two others. Well, Id say the are the Eunhyuk and Donghae of
today. They are playful yet kind. Theyre really popular among girls. All twelve of us
rode together in a small bus together with three teachers to spend the weekend
away.
Everybody gather round the reception area and wait there, one of the teachers,
Lee seonsaengnim, instructed.

We got off the bus with our bags and ski gear and headed for the reception while
our teachers checked us in.

Whyd you think shes here? Isnt the competition for seniors only? I heard
Jaehyun ask Moonyoung as we were walking. They were in front of Ueno and I.

Whos here? Ueno asked.

Park Kyesin, Moonyoung replied.

Who? I said.

The two men stopped to stare at me. You dont know who Park Kyesin is?!

I shook my head. What? Is she important or something?

Moonyoung laughed at me. Oh, Cho Kyuhyun. This is why you cant get a
girlfriend.

Shes two levels younger, Ueno explained to me. She just transferred a month
ago from England.

I dont get why thats a big deal, I said.

Jaehyun put his arm around my shoulder. Ah, Kyu. Its a big deal because shes
hot.

And smart. Very smart, Moonyoung added.

I laughed. So shes smart and beautiful. A lot of girls in our school are smart and
beautiful.

Oh, no no no. Not like her, my dear friend. Not like her, Jaehyun said.

Youll see why soon enough. Itll hit you right in the face,, Ueno smiled at me. I
shouldve listened.

Do you think well get a chance to talk to her? Moonyoung asked.

For all I know, Young, youre just planning to ask her out, I laughed.

He laughed with me. Well, Ive heard rumors that shes not friendly at all But
those were all from girls. The guys, on the other hand, say a different thing.
Mysterious yet approachable, Jaehyun quoted. They say that shes quite warm
to talk to.

Judging from what you guys said, I guess the girls are just jealous that everyones
attention has turned to her, Ueno said.

And she just transferred, I stated. She just needs time to adjust.

Oh! Oh! Oh! There she is. On the couch, Moonyoung whispered. Kyuhyun, go talk
to her!

Why me?

Coz youre the only one in this group who probably hasnt stalked her yet!
Moonyoung replied.

Hey! Ueno interjected.

Fine then, you go, Jaehyun chuckled.

What do I say? Ueno asked.

I dont know. You figure it out; youre smart, Jaehyun said.

The three of us sat down on one of the long couches and the other students
thankfully sat down in all the others, leaving Ueno with no place but beside the said
girl. She was looking down, reading a thick book. I still havent seen her face but I
was very curious. She has brown wavy hair and such a fair skin.

Ueno awkwardly sat beside her. Jaehyun and Moonyoung were giggling as we
watched him. He glared at us, not knowing what to do. Moonoung told him to talk to
her.

H-Hi! Ueno turned to the girl and stuttered.

She raised her head up to look at my best friend. Hi! She greeted back with the
most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

And then something hit me. Not literally, but something did. I have never seen
anyone so captivating. Her eyes were not brown - they were such a beautiful shade
of hazel. Hazel! They sparkled as she smiled. Her eyelashes were long and curled.
Her nose was pointy. Her lips were thin and red. She was too beautiful to be true. I
even pinched myself just to make sure I wasnt dreaming, I could see now what the
big deal is. Park Kyesin is an extraordinary being. Without even trying, she could
attract all the guys in one room.

She looked back down to her book and started reading again. Ueno was tight-lipped
and blushing bright red. He looked at us with panicked eyes. He breathed deeply.
Uhm hi! Im Ueno, he introduced himself.

Park Kyesin lifted her head up again. Kyesin, she replied with another smile. Oh
my heart fluttered

Oh yeah uhm Ueno started.

But Bae seonsaengnim suddenly spoke. Everyone. Here are your keys. Cho
Kyuhyun, Kim Ueno, Jung Jaehyun and Ye Moonyoung youre together in one room.
Im Jonghyun, Lee Jihyun, Lee Sungmo and Kim Jino, heres yours. Park Taeyoon, Lee
Yoonggi, Kim Solgu, and Park Yoonjae, here. Park Kyesin, this one is yours, he said,
handing out the keys.

You can now go to your rooms, rest for a little, put your things down or whatever.
You can do what you want for the whole day. Anything legal that is. Lunch will be
served at the function room at 12 noon, snacks at 4 and dinner will be at seven.
Tomorrow will be training day. We we will meet at their auditorium at 8 am. Be on
time or you will receive a demerit, said Han seonsaengnim.

Park Kyesin stood up and immediately headed to her room. Ueno joined us, still red
from the happenings. You guys, I almost died out there! He whispered.

Moonyoung laughed. So what can you say about her?

Shes so beautiful Ueno said. Oh did you see her smile?

Now I regret rejecting the chance to talk to her.

Jaehyun put his arm around me. Do you understand now? It hit you too, right?

It did. Cupids arrow hit me.

We decided to rest for a while upon reaching our rooms. At 12, we went down to eat
lunch. I scanned around the function room but cant seem to find Park Kyesin
anywhere. Jaehyun thought that maybe she was out skiing or something. So We
decided to ski as well after eating. There werent a lot of people around since it was
not a peak season. It was actually nice - like having the resort for ourselves. To be
honest, we were like 30% of the time skiing, 70% looking for Park Kyesin. I wont
deny. I did want to see her too. I was curious about many things. I wanted to know
why she transferred to Korea, why is she here with us, perhaps what her favorite
color is or her favorite food. Without even knowing, she has already caught me tight
in a rope and I want her to pull me closer.

But we didnt find her again at the skiing slopes. We tried the beginner and
intermediate slopes but she in wasnt any of those. We retired to get some rest for a
while and went back to the function room for our snacks. They served us hot and
fresh bung-o-pang. I got two, a packet of juice and excused myself to go back to our
room to get my camera.
On my way back, I decided to take a detour and go to the skating rink just to check
if Park Kyesin was there. Nibbling on my first bung-o-pang, I scanned the rink for her
but didnt see her anywhere. I sighed. She must be in her room. I was about to go
back to the function room when I saw this beautiful glow coming from the benches
where people can watch the skaters. I looked closely. My heart started beating fast.
It was her.

Park Kyesin was sitting alone in the benches. Her feet were up and her head was
resting on her knees. Her eyes were at the skating rink, but her eyes They werent
the bright eyes I saw earlier today. She looked lonely.

I wasnt going to approach her in the first place but seeing her alone made me lose
my head. I slowly walked towards her.

Uhm I whispered. She looked up at me with her sad eyes. Hi, I greeted with an
awkward smile.

Hi, she greeted back with a soft smile. My heart was fluttering again.

Uhm I didnt see you at lunch or at snacks today.

Yeah

I stood there awkwardly. Uh bung-o-pang? I offered, giving her my other bread.

She stared at it for a few seconds. Bung-o-pang? She asked. She looked absolutely
adorable.

Yeah its uhm sweet red bean bread, I said.

Oh thanks, she said, taking it from me.

May I?I asked. She nodded. I sat beside her.

Youre one of Ueno-sunbaes friends, right? She asked.

Y-Yeah, I stuttered, surprised that she knows.

She adorably opened the bag with the bung-o-pang and took it out. She smiled a
little. Why does everything about her look pretty?

Do they really serve these like this? She asked about the fish shaped bread.

Yeah. Have you never eaten one before? I asked.

She shook her head cutely. Nope. She took a bite. Its good! Thank you again.
Youre welcome, I said. It became awkwardly silent for an hour or so. We just sat
down; I was secretly watching her and she was just staring at the skating rink. I
couldnt think of things to say.

Oh uhm she started. Even her voice is music to my ears. I never had the
chance to get your name. The skies have turned bright orange now.

Im Cho Kyuhyun, I said, cheeks burning. I never blushed while saying my name
before. Youre Park Kyesin, right.

She nodded. Yup.

My friend said you came from England.

Yeah.

Are you half? I asked. I mean because you dont look Korean

The hint of sadness sparked in her eyes. My father is half Korean, half English. My
mother is Italian, she said. There was a sense of longing in her voice.

Oh I see I nod my head. Well uhm why did you transfer here? I heard
youre really smart and I know there are a lot of schools in England well suited for
you.

Hmm I want to know about my fathers culture. Reading about Korea wasnt
enough for me So I wanted to experience it first hand, she answered.

Oh thats nice, I smiled, trying to cheer her up. Did you come here alone?

Yeah, she nodded. She seems really down. We then fell silent again.

Do you skate? I finally had the courage to ask.

A little, she smiled at me. I think I could melt despite the fact that were
surrounded by snow right now.

Do you want to skate? I asked.

Huh? She looked at me.

I took a deep breath and swallowed my pride. I smiled wide at her. Come on. Lets
skate! I stood up.

Wait, Kyuhyun-sunbae! She called.

Itll be fun, I grinned at her. I went to the skate rental and she followed behind.
Hi. One pair of Size 10 and
Size seven, she said shyly.

The guy gave us our skates and we sat on the side. I tied my laces. Here, let me
help you, I said, tying hers.

Oh no, I can do it she said.

But I ignored her. I didnt know why. I just felt like doing it doing everything for her.

Tight? I asked.

She shook her head. Just right thanks.

I stood up. Come, I said. She stood up with ease and we walked towards the rink.

I glided in first. My parents brought me often skating and skiing so I was pretty
good. I held out my hand to her to help her step in. But I was wrong. She was good.
She didnt need to hold anything.

Sunbae

You need to have fun once in a while, I told her. I glided easily through the ice and
she followed behind me. We went in circles in silence. I looked at her. She looks so
damn beautiful at any time. I like the way the cool icy wind blows her hair, and how
her hazel eyes sparkles when she looks at the sunset.

I decided to spice things up. It seemed pretty boring that we were just going round
and round for almost an hour now. I was doing a bad job cheering her up as well.

Hey, I started. I bet you cant catch me.

Sunbae?

I smiled at her and dashed away. Sunbae! Wait! She called, following me. I
chuckled and kept speeding up. Sunbae! She was starting to chuckle now.

She was good. She kept her balance even though we were going fast. But I wasnt.

I took a wrong turn and slipped, falling on the cool icy floor. I laughed aloud. I
havent had this much fun in a while.

Sunbae, are you alright? She came towards me, laughing.

I think so, I said, laughing as well. She extended her arm towards me to help me
stand up. But I didnt know what went on my mind that I decided to pull her down
with me instead.

Sunbae! She screamed. She chuckled with me on the ice. She looked at me with
earnest eyes. I could melt right there and then. Thank you, sunbae.
I smiled at her. Its no big deal. I stood up carefully then offered my hand to help
her. She took it.

My heart suddenly went haywire when she touched me. My cheeks were burning. I
havent felt anything like this. Its going to drive me crazy.

Do you feel better now? I asked as we were walking back to our rooms.

She looked up at me. Oh uh, yeah, she answered shyly. Her cheeks were tinted
red.

I noticed you were a little down awhile ago, I whispered.

She nodded. I guess I just miss home, she replied. So thank you, sunbae, she
smiled at me. She stopped in front of her room.

Remember, dinner's at seven, I said. Or do you want me to just bring your food
here?

She shook her head and chuckled. Ani, sunbae. Ill be there.

Promise?

I promise, she nodded before entering her room.

And I just stood there smiling like an idiot for minutes. When I finally got a hold of
myself, I went to my room.

Oh Damn it! There you are! Jaehyun said as soon as I entered.

I lifted my brows. What?

We were so worried. We thought you have gone lost! Ueno said.

Why would I get lost? I chuckled.

Well you said youre just going to get back here to get your camera but you never
returned. Where did you go anyway? Moonyoung asked.

Oh I uh I went skating, I said. Sorry for making you worry. For some reason I
didnt want them to know that I was with Park Kyesin. Probably to avoid their
endless questions.

You shouldve told us first. Its a good thing we havent told seonsaengnim, Ueno
said.

Sorry, okay? I just got carried away, I said.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. Was Park Kyesin there?

Blood rushed to my cheeks. What? I said, avoiding his gaze.

She was there, wasnt she?

Kyuhyun?

I sighed. Okay fine. You got me. She was.

I knew it! You sneaky bastard! Jaehyun chuckled.

I was just curious about her, okay? I went to check if she was there and she was, I
said.

Aha! Our Kyuhyun has fallen in the charms of Park Kyesin. Now all of us has stalked
her, Moonyoung laughed.

Hey! I havent, Ueno said.

Okay, we get it, mister nice guy, Jaehyun said.

Can we all just go down and get dinner? Im starving, I said.

We all went down together to the function room. A dinner buffet was waiting for us
there. I scanned the room and sense a feeling of relief when I saw Park Kyesin
eating alone.

She really hit you hard, didnt she? Jaehyun whispered to me. My cheeks burned.
Hey! Kyuhyun suggested to go sit down with her.

What?! I said.

Go, Kyuhyun, Jaehyun smirked at me, and gave me a push.

I awkwardly took my plate of food and walked to her table. My heart was beating so
fast as I approached her slowly. Her wavy brown hair flung down her shoulders
beautifully. Her fair skin glowed.

Uh Hi I said.

She looked up at me. Hi, sunbae, she smiled. Would you like to sit?

I pursed my lips to keep myself from smiling too much. Thanks, I answered. I
looked around but it turns out, the others didnt follow me. Jaehyun gave me a
thumbs up. Oh god what do I do now. I Uh Im glad you came to eat.

She chuckled. I promised someone that I would.

I chuckled giddily. Oh god why is she so adorable? I think that that someone is
happy you kept your promise.

She furrowed her brows and leaned towards me. Why is that so?

Oh no Blood rushed to my face as I thought of what to say. Maybe because he

finds you interesting.

I find sunbae interesting too, she replied. Sunbae is kind and caring.

I glanced around. Everybody was staring at us. Dont you have any friends? I
asked.

She pouted and shook her head cutely. All the girls in my class dont want to talk to
me.

Then can I be your friend? I asked with a smile, but deep inside I was nervous as
hell.

Her eyes sparkled in happiness as she smiled and nodded at me. Of course,
sunbae. She neatly arranged her utensils as she finished eating. I grew conscious
as she watched me eat. I set my utensils down shyly. She laughed, music like tiny
little bells ringing. No, please. Go on. Dont mind me.

I grimaced. Well, its hard with you just looking at me, I whispered.

She nodded. Fair enough. Why dont you tell me about you, then? You had your
chance this afternoon. Its my turn now.

What do you want to know?

Hmm She squinted her eyes as she thought. I could feel myself blushing again.
How many are you in the family?

I was caught by surprised. That was rather an unusual first question to ask. Were
four. Appa, eomma, noona and me.

Oh, you have an older sister? Thats nice, she smiled. So What does sunbae
like to do in his free time?

Well, I like reading And playing Starcraft, I chuckled.

She furrowed her brows again. Oh so cute. Starcraft? She asked.

I nodded. Its uhm Its a game you play.

Like chess?

I shook my head. No Its an online computer game.

Oh Ive never heard of it before. Is it popular in Korea?

Yes, I smiled. I could teach you one day if you like.

She beamed at me. Of course, thank you. I heard sunbae is excellent in Math.

I felt embarrassed, but like, flattered embarrassed. Well, uhm, yeah, i answered.
Oh.. That brings me to a question I want to ask all day: Why are you here with us? I
thought only the senior team is present.

Oh, Bae seonsaengnim askedmore like forced Me to come. He wanted to show

the training and expose me since they want me to join the competition later on as
well, she explained

Oh, i nodded. So youre good as well!

She chuckled. Her cute laugh sounded like beautiful chimes in the wind to me. I
guess so.

Can I just say your Korean is excellent! I mean you dont have that foreign
accent, I said shyly.

Oh Thank you, she said. I really strived to learn while I was in England.

Thats great, I said. I put my utensils down. May I? asking for her plate.

Oh, no, no, Ill do it myself, sunbae, she smiled.

Please, let me, I said, taking it.

Oh, thanks. I put the plates in the basin and she followed quietly behind me.

Uhm Would you like to take a walk for a while? I asked.

Oh uhm her cheeks flushed. Actually, I was thinking of going back to my

room already. Im sorry, sunbae its just that I have this Chemistry exam next
week

Oh, I see, I nodded. So uhm can I walk you to your room instead? I asked.

She nodded. Yes, sure. Thank you, sunbae.

We went out of the function room and a gust of cold air blew. Without even thinking,
I immediately took my coat off and put it on her. Here, I said.

Oh, no, sunbae. Im fine. Sunbae might get a cold, she said, trying to return my
coat.
No, its okay, I reassured her.

We walked shyly side by side back to the hotel. Kyuhyun-sunbae she said.

Yeah? I answered and looked at her. My heart was about to pop out of my chest.
She was looking at me. I felt my cheeks burn.

Thank you. For today, she said. Her eyes sparkled.

Its no big deal, I chuckled.

She looked up ahead and smiled. It is to me.

That moment...my world stopped spinning. Einstein was right. Time and space are
in a different dimension. I wished I could stay in that moment forever It was clear
to me how time relatively slowed down that second she smiled. It was such a
genuine and warm smile...an innocent smile made by such a pure soul. Einsteins
Theory of Relativity is real and right.

She stopped in front of her door. This is me She said shyly. I Uhm Ill go
ahead.

I nodded. Okay. Good night!

Oh! Here, sunbae Thank you, she said, handing me my coat.

No problem.

She gave me one last look and smiled, see you tomorrow, sunbae., before going
in her room.

See you, I replied. And I stood there, right outside her door for minutes. I was out
of my mind. I wanted to talk to her more. I want to see her again. Yes, well see each
other tomorrow, but its not soon enough.

I slowly retreated to my room, head in the clouds, as I try to replay the moments we
had together today. I lay on my bed, still fully clothed.

I was? Am? whipped.

Park Kyesin was insanely intelligent. That was what I learned the next day.

We were at the auditorium, and me and my roommates barely made it on time

because of the early call time and well We stayed up all night. All twelve of us
seniors were up in the stage, spaced evenly apart, having a mock oral contest. I
looked around for Park Kyesin. She was sitting at the audience, watching, observing,
with Bae seonsaengnim near her.
The instinct to do well kicked in me. I had to. I wanted to impress her. To show that I
was smart and capable.

The first few questions were easy. I nailed the first part. The moderate round was
quite easy as well so I had no problem with that. Do take note that for the easy and
moderate rounds, we werent allowed any paper. Everything had be done mentally.

The difficult round was, well, as the name suggests, difficult. We could solve using
pens and papers now but all the questions were Calculus. In our normal class
setting, we havent even tackled a bit of integrals yet. But since were the schools
team of Math olympiads, we had to know the question in advance.

I didnt get everything perfectly, sadly. But those I didnt get were questions no one
did. The only problem I had was lack of time but otherwise, I couldve gotten it.

However, there was one question that none of us got. We tried solving for it thrice,
still nothing. If I remember correctly, it was the integral, among all real numbers, of
1 divided by the square root of 2 pi, multiplied by e raised to negative one half x-
squared, dx. Lee seonsaengnim was furious. Until, Bae seonsaengnim called him
out.

Miss Park has an answer, he said.

Miss Park? Lee seonsaengnim said.

One, sir, she answered confidently. She was not holding any paper or pen then.

How did she solve that? Mentally? How?

That is correct, Lee seonsaengnim declared.
All twelve of us stared at her. She shyly ducked her head.
Lee seonsaengnim did not explain how the equation was solved. Was it a concept
we havent studied? But how did Park Kyesin solve it so easily? Does that make her
smarter than me? Than all of us?
But I find it rather attractive. A shy, smart and beautiful girl not to mention that
shes nice as well! I could feel that I was falling deeper and deeper in her charms.
I like Park Kyesin.
We were back in school. The incidents in the ski resort made me so curious about
Park Kyesin that I came to the point that I want to stalk her. And I did try.
But I was terrible at it.
I havent seen Park Kyesin for days. And soon enough, the week quickly passed. I
almost went crazy because it seems that shes not even enrolled in this school. I
have no idea how Ueno, Jaehyun and Moonyoung knew about her. I didnt want to
ask. I didnt want them to see how whipped I was. So I stuck to my non-existent
stalking skills by hanging out in the corridors near her classroom at break time, and
at the canteen at lunch break. But I never once saw her.
It was already Friday and there were auditions for the Cultural Concert. I have been
singing for as long as I could remember. My mother would even say Kyuhyun was
already singing before he could talk. I joined the church choir back when I was four
or five and we even released an album then! I do love singing. My voice is good,
and I am not exaggerating, else I wouldnt be an idol now. But back then, being an
idol was just a dream of mine as high as the stars. Park Kyesin helped me reached
them.
Ueno was with me. So was Jaehyun. Moonyoung was trying to score a date with a
girl, I think. But it turns out, my hoobae, Ruma, who I asked to play the piano for me
that day, was sick with flu. Since the audition was after class, there were only a few
students left inside the school premises.
Kyung seonsaengnim, please, I pleaded. Cant I have an audition on Monday
instead?
Im sorry, Kyuhyun. I have to be fair, he answered. Most of these people have
prepared hard for this. It would seem unfair if I gave you more time.
But Ruma is out sick. Isnt that a valid excuse? Ueno asked.
Im so sorry, boys. Unless you find a pianist or just sing a cappella, Im afraid I cant
do anything for you, Kyung seonsaengnim said before calling the next person who
will audition in.
What do we do? Jaehyun asked. Cant you just sing a cappella?
I can but it might not be as good I said, hesitating. I sighed in defeat. I really
wanted to perform in the cultural festival. Maybe I should just do it
And then out of nowhere, a melodious silky voice came. Like an angels. Ill do it,
she said. My heart started beating fast.
We all looked at her Park Kyesin was standing shyly behind us, hugging her
chemistry book.
Ill do it, sunbae. Ill play the piano for you, she said.
My cheeks burned. You you can play?
She nodded. Do you have a sheet? you asked.
Y-y-yeah, I stuttered, handing her the papers.
She took them in her hands and scanned through. Her hazel eyes looked beautiful
as they move. Hmm okay, she smiled.
Do you know the song? I asked.
Nope, she pouted. But its okay, she assured me.
Kyung seonsaengnim opened the door and the person auditioning came out crying.
Next? he said, as if unaffected by the crying student.
Seonsaengnim, Ill go now, I said.
Oh really? You found a pianist?
Annyeong haseyo, Kyesin greeted with a bow. My name is Park Kyesin.
Kyung seonsaengnim scanned her from head to toe. Alright, come in.
I was nervous. Both for me and for her. Kyung seonsaengnim is strict when it comes
to talent, especially music, since he was a renowned pianist before, and after
retirement, he taught in his alma matter.
Good luck, Ueno and Jaehyun whispered.
I nodded.
Is sunbae nervous? Kyesin asked.
A little, I chuckled.
I know sunbae will do well, she smiled at me and it cheered me up.
She sat on the piano chair. My heart was pounding. She did not know the song. She
was just going to play by the sheet. Was that enough?
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath.
But the moment her fingers pressed the keys on the piano, all of my worries
instantly disappeared. The music coming out of her fingers were so warm and light.
They filled me up with confidence. It was perfectly beautiful.
Inspired, my voice came out smoothly and naturally. The emotions came pouring.
Her piano shifted a little to complement me. It felt like I was having a performance
of a lifetime. I havent sung like this before. Never in my entire life. It was
overwhelming and unforgettable.
Kyung seonsaengnim was silent for quite some time but he was smiling. Smiling
wide.
You two he sighed happily. That was very beautiful, thank you thank you for
letting me hear that. Congratulations, Mr. Cho. I believe youll perform in the
cultural festival and I want you to perform last.
I looked at Park Kyesin, overflowing in happiness. She smiled wide at me. Thank
you, I told her.
Its nothing, sunbae, she said.
Mr. Cho, I suggest you also join the Chin-chin Festival contest. They will be having
auditions soon. I think you have a big chance of winning. Kyung seonsaengnim told
me.
I nodded. Thank you, seonsaengnim. Thank you. Kyesin and I bowed before going
out of the room.
So? Jaehyun was smiling wide.
I smiled back, nodding. Im in, I said.
Congratulations! Ueno said, hugging me. And oh, thank you K-Kyesin, he said.
Youre very most welcome, she replied. But Im sorry, sunbae. I have to go now.
Oh, really? I asked. Just when we couldve gotten closer
She nodded. Im sorry. Ill see you around. She said before waving and then
walking away.
I breathed a sigh. Why. Why is she everything I want?
So, how was she? Jaehyun asked.
Oh, man I said. If only you were there
Was she great?
Great wouldnt even cut it, I said.
Ueno narrowed his eyes at me. Kyuhyun do you like Park Kyesin? he whispered.
My eyes grew wide and my cheeks started burning. What? I uhm
Oh! He does! He does! Jaehyun shouted, laughing.
Be quiet! I scolded him.
So you do? Ueno had a sly smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes. Well I mean, who wouldnt? I said defensively.
Okay, let me rephrase, Ueno chuckled. Cho Kyuhyun, do you have feelings for
Park Kyesin?
Jaehyun and Ueno were staring at me with their sly smiles and expectant faces. I
sighed, defeated.
Yes, I replied. The two cheered like madmen. But damn it! Be quiet! If she or
anyone else gets word of this, I swear I will kill you both!
My lips are sealed, Ueno said. But Kyu, Im happy for you. Youve finally found a
girl that would make you crazy.
Hes right. Park Kyesin did make me crazy.
And she still does.
Another week has passed and it was the same as usual. I couldnt find Park Kyesin.
It was driving me mad! Where in hell do I find her? All I want is to see her at least
once a day if we could talk, then better but she doesnt show herself.
At the cultural concert, students from different levels who passed the auditions were
expected to perform. There were various talents to watch. Different kinds of dances
like ballet, hiphop, and a lot more. There were singers too. Even bands. Some
played musical instruments. I was the last act, as Kyung seonsaengnim said. Ruma
recovered from his sickness and was well and practiced during the day of the
performance. I wished, however, that he could play as good as Kyesin did. But
maybe Im just biased and I let my feelings take over. He is a good player, though.
But not nearly as good as she is.
I was next so I was waiting backstage for the great hiphop group of juniors to finish.
I was nervous simply because I was going to perform in front of the whole school
and Kyesin would be one of those whom Im going to perform to. I wanted my piece
to be perfect.
But then again, fate likes toying with me.
Sunbae, I heard a familiar voice. I turned around. Kyesin was there wearing a
white and blue off shoulder dress. She looks so beautiful.
Oh h-hey! I greeted. I could feel myself blushing.
Good luck, sunbae! Fighting! she cheered. And it was absolutely adorable.
My heart was about to break through my ribs. Thank you, I replied with a smile.
She then waved and walked away. Did she did she just talk to me? Did she go
back stage just to wish me luck? Am I wrong to assume that maybe just maybe
she has feelings for me too?
Wow, sunbae! Ruma told me. Youre so lucky!
Ei~ I blushed. We just became friends, I said.
Even though, he said. Do you know a lot of people wanted to ask her out but she
keeps turning everyone down?
Really?
We all thought that maybe she has a boyfriend, he said. But now I have a new
theory: maybe she already likes someone. You.
Dont be ridiculous! I laughed. Though I wished it was true.
I sang my heart out on stage, knowing that she would be watching. It was hard for
me to look for her since there were approximately more than 500 students
watching. I just wished my voice reached her. I went back to my seat after my
performance. The hosts resumed their places.

Wow! That was such a touching performance from senior Cho Kyuhyun! they said.
Everyone was clapping their hands and I felt happy. But now, we have a surprise
performance for all of you! Surprise performance? Theres one more? I thought I
was last?

Yes, the other emcee said. For the first time in history, Kyung seonsaengnim will
be playing for us!

Kyung seonsaengnim went up the stage in his formal pianist outfit. The audience
roared. Oh wow. We all know Kyung seonsaengnim is an absolutely amazing player,
and for us to hear it live. It would be such a great opportunity.
Kyung seonsaengnim took the mic. First of all, I would like to congratulate all the
performers today. You all did a wonderful job. Now, I would like to show everyone
the talent I have been given. But, he smiled wide before continuing. I would
need some help. Please help me welcome Park Kyesin.

My heart jumped again upon hearing her name. She went up to the stage slowly,
like a reserved woman rather than just a high school student. Her hair was tied up
neatly in a ponytail, and she was wearing a different dress. This dress now was long
and blue. Sapphire Blue. Her pale white skin glowed as the blue color of her dress
compliments it. She smiled confidently, as opposed to her shy smiles. Kyung
seonsaengnim and Kyesin bowed.

What is she going to do? There was only one piano on stage? Will she play
something else? Will she play as seonsaengnim conducts or something? I was at the
edge of my seat.

Park Kyesin sat at far end of the piano chair. Kyung seonsaengnim sat on the other
end. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply before placing her fingers on the
piano. OH! A piano duet!

The song, as I recall, was Beethovens Sonata in D, Opus 6.

What I saw was an entirely different Park Kyesin. Not the shy little girl. But a
confident and focused Kyesin. Her fingers moved fluidly. But the smile on her face
never wavered. A genuine and soft smile. She was enjoying what she was doing. I
kept my eyes on her happy and relaxed face. She looked so beautiful.

The music that the piano was giving out filled the whole auditorium. No one tried
speaking up or making the littlest of noise. We were all enthralled to hear them play.

The piece was so light and warm. It was moving so fluidly up and down. It was like a
day in the park. A quiet sunny day. Running, laughing and playing freely. The warm
wind blowing against my face. I could feel myself being transported even though I
knew I was in the auditorium of our school. I couldnt even feel the aircon. I felt like I
was really in the park, and the thing is: I felt like I was with her. I never knew music
could do this. It was the perfect way to end the concert.

Outside, I tried looking for Kyesin. I just wanted to congratulate her for her excellent
performance. Well, okay, fine. I wanted to talk to her. I dont know. Im going crazy, I
think.

There were so many people everywhere. I went outside the building while searching
for her. And then I finally found her by the gates of the school, wearing her white
and blue dress back. But there were a lot of people surrounding her. Guys, I might
add. Male students from all year levels and sections were there, giving her flowers,
chocolates and other gifts. Others are asking for a picture. She looked so swamped
and afraid but she never fails to say Thank you to everyone. Her hands were full of
flowers and gifts already.
I couldnt push myself through to her side. I wanted to at least help her carry all
those stuff. But it was too crowded.

Kyesin! I shouted. I didnt know why I did. I felt my cheeks burning as all the other
students stared - no, glared - at me.

Park Kyesin turned her head. Her lips came up in a big smile, enough to take my
breath away. Sunbae! she replied. You were really good today, sunbae!

You too! I answered before the other guys crowded to her more, pushing me back.
I sighed. Kyesin kept her eyes on me as the guys swarmed her.

That moment I felt I had a chance A chance to be something to her something

more than a sunbae, more than a friend. I wanted to be one.

But it all crashed and burned in a second. A shiny black sedan pulled over in front of
the gates. The driver went down the car. He was an old man British I think. He
took the flowers and the gifts from Kyesin and put it inside the car.

And then he came.

A tall young foreigner, slightly older than me, British as well, perhaps. Kye~ He
called and waved from the car door. Park Kyesins face instantly lit up. She ran to his
side. The man kissed her forehead.

My heart shattered into pieces. Who was he?

Park Kyesin went in the car and the man went in after her. The car drove off.

I was standing frozen in the middle of the school grounds So this is what it feels
like to get your heart broken.

Ive been dumped.

The next week, Moonyoung and I were in the library, researching about a topic that
we are going to report in class. But lately I wasnt in the mood to go to class mainly
because I was heartbroken. I kept it to my friends though. But somehow they
seemed to notice.

We were sitting on the library floor and I was reading what seems to be a sixty year
old book. Moonyoung nudged me with his foot.

Hey, Kyu. Are you alright? Youve been down these days, he said.

I sighed. Yeah Im fine.

He raised his eyebrow at me. Really, Kyu? You dont look fine.

Youngie, can we not talk about it? I asked.

But that made him even more curious. He scooted over to sit beside me. Its about
Kyesin, isnt it? he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes at him. No.

Why dont you just approach her? Go talk to her! he said. You know, if you want
her, then you have to make your move.

I sighed. What would be the use of that if she already has a boyfriend?

Look, Young. I dont even know how to find her? Ive been trying to for weeks but I
couldnt see her anywhere in school, I said.

He furrowed his brows at me. He stood up and pulled me. Come on.

Where are we going?! I complained.

He pulled me all the way to the other side of the library. The side where the thick
textbooks were. Only a few people go to this side. Usually only the professors do.

But there she was. Park Kyesin. Reading silently a thick book.

Shes here?

Moonyoung chuckled. All the time. Whenever she has a break, shes here.
Reading.

Alone? I asked.

Young nodded. Yeah. I heard she doesnt have many friends in her class

I nodded. But she seems to like it, though. Studying, I mean, I whispered.

Moonyoung smirked wide. Kyesin, theres someone who wants to see you, he said
aloud.

I stared at Moonyoung, surprised. What about our research? I gritted.

Shes your research now. He gave me a sly grin before pushing me.

Park Kyesin turned around. She smiled as she saw me. Sunbae, youre here too?

I uh yeah, I said. I knew I was blushing as I stepped in closer. Young and I

were doing research.
Oh she nodded. Im sorry I wasnt able to congratulate you during the concert
properly, sunbae.

Ah, its okay, I chuckled giddily. You were really great though.

Thank you, sunbae, she said, blushing.

Mind if I sit? I asked.

Oh no, please, she said. I then sat in front of her.

What are you doing? I asked. What are you reading?

Just some book on statistics, she replied shyly.

Hmm, so uhm how long have you been playing the piano? I asked.

Since I was five, she smiled. Music helped me a lot growing up. I believe every
piece of music tells a story and I want to make music that will bring the people
listening to it to the story.

You did it, though Bring us to the story, I said with a smile.

I glad I did, she chuckled. But sunbae

Yes?

You have a beautiful voice, sunbae, she said honestly. My heart thumped. My
cheeks burned. Im hoping again. That maybe maybe that wasnt her boyfriend?
Maybe

Oh uhm Thank you, I chuckled shyly.

Im serious, sunbae. You really have a beautiful voice. I think you should be a
singer, she smiled.

I do want to be one I said. But my father wants me to be a lawyer.

Wont you at least join the chin-chin festival Kyung seonsaengnim was talking
about? I think you can win, she said, batting her eyes at me.

And I couldnt say no. Well, okay. Ill try. I took a look at my watch. Oh! Its almost
time! i said.

Really? she checked her watch. She stood up and put the book back on the
shelves. She gathered her things and we went out of the library, rushing to our
rooms.
Oh sunbae! she suddenly said.

Yeah? I replied.

Can I ask you a favor? she asked.

Hmm?

Were supposed to do a paper on King Sejong but i know nothing of Korean

history but what I read from the textbooks. I wanted to learn the history through the
people themselves. Will you teach me? she asked.

My feet abruptly stopped. My hopes were high and above again. I uh

Please, sunbae? she batted her lashes at me. Youre the only one who talks to
me freely

Oh I said. I then smiled at her. A lightbulb lit up in my head. You know what?
Why dont we go on a field trip?

Where to?

Hmm Sejongno! The place named after him, I said.

She smiled wide at me and nodded. Okay! When?

Are you free this Saturday? I asked.

Yes, she replied.

Shall we, then? Where should we meet? At the subway station?

That sounds great, sunbae, she said. And then the school bell rang. Sunbae, Ill
go ahead! Seonsaengnim doesnt like late students.

I nodded. Okay, see you on Saturday! She waved and then ran. Lets meet at
nine, okay? I shouted.

She looked back and smiled. She put her thumbs up.

Yah! the hall monitor hit me. No shouting in the corridors.

I bowed politely. Im sorry.

I looked at her back as she slowly disappeared in the distance.

I have a date with Park Kyesin.

I came early to the subway station. I was a little sleepy since I stayed a little late the
night before to brush up on my history about King Sejong. I didnt want to
disappoint her. I just then realized we didnt talk about where exactly in the station
we would meet. I decided to go and wait outside.

It was five minutes before nine when she came. I could still remember what she
wore that day. It was a floral yellow sundress, a pair of white shoes and a sling bag.
Her hair was tied up neatly. She was so cute.

She smiled at me as she came. Sorry, Im late. I saw a cat that was stuck on the
tree on the way here and it needed help.

Oh no. Even cuter.

Its okay. Youre early, actually, I chuckled giddily. No Kyuhyun. Must. maintain.
Composure.

OH uhm she blushed, looking down at her feet. SO EFFING CUTE.

Uh shall we go now? I asked.

Yup, sure, she nodded.

We went down to subway line 5 and got off at gwanghwamun station. It was quite
awkward in the train. Neither of us said anything. I didnt know what to say, actually.
I didnt know how to make small talk. I was thinking of what to talk about, but all I
could think of was how cute she looks today.

We walked a little to the plaza using the underground walkway from the station. As I
look around, there are a lot of couples hanging out, holding hands and walking
sweetly. I wished I could hold hers.

I brought her in front of King Sejongs bronze statue. That is King Sejong. He is the
genius behind the Korean alphabet. He lived during the Joseon dynasty. I explained.
Kyesin listened attentively. He wasnt the first born child. Usually, it was the first
born who gets the throne.

Yes, thats right, she said.

Well, he was the third son. His eldest brother got stripped of his title, and the
second became a monk. Thats why he ascended to the throne. Even as a kid, he is
very studious and excelled well. He was especially very good in linguistics.

King Sejong wanted to promote Korea as an independent country, I continued.

During that time, our cultures and technology were mainly based on Chinese
practices. He changed most of those. He reformed the Korean calendar system. At
that time, the system was based on the Chinese capital. He changed the system for
it to be based on Koreas capital, which is Seoul. In effect, the prediction of eclipses
became more accurate.

Oh thats why theres a celestial globe here, she said.

Yes, I nodded. He also made big advances to the Korean military. He started the
use of cannons and they say he also made use of gunpowder. He was a very smart
strategist, successfully invading a couple of places to strengthen the safety of his
kingdom.

But as you might know now, his greatest achievement was the development of
Hangul. In ancient Korea, only the upper class were literate. The alphabet used then
was Hanja, a derivative from Chinese. King Sejong developed the Hangul, a 28-
letter alphabet as we know now. He wanted to reach out to the masses, so he
developed something that we could call our own, and that what the lower and
middle class people could easily learn. Do you know that the characters were made
based on the position of the teeth, mouth and tongue?

Oh! I never thought of it that way! That is amazing! she exclaimed.

He left a great impact on Korea. Imagine the language and alphabet he developed
then would still be used after over 500 years, I said. And that the Korean alphabet
will be used to translate documents, books and important manuscripts all over the
world so that it would be accessible to the general public. He made information
within reach.

She looked at the statue for a while before she spoke with admiration. King Sejong
is a genius.

I chuckled. Yes he is. But well, you are too.

Me? she laughed.

You solved that problem back in the training without any pen or paper, I said. You
know, until know I dont know how you did it!

Mhmm it was a special distribution, she said.

A what?

Well, in statistics, they have special distributions. The one asked was a Normal
distribution with mean 0 and variance 1. As long as the integral is a special
distribution, the area under the curve is always equal to one, she explained.

Wow youve studied a lot, I said.

Yeah I had a lot of spare time, she chuckled.

Maybe you should have a monument here as well, I laughed.

She chuckled. Thank you, sunbae. This was more understandable than just reading
about it, she smiled at me. It took my breath away. We started walking around.
Sunbae tell me what is the difference between a queen consort and a royal
consort?

Hmm well, a queen consort is like the highest of the consorts. Strictly speaking,
only her children will be able to ascend to the throne. The royal consort is the other
wife of the king, I said.

Like a concubine? she asked.

Well, if you put it that way, yes, they are. But you have to understand that they are
the upper rank of concubines.

So there are other concubines as well?

Yes, I answered. There are some cases that the son of a royal consort can ascend
to the throne but only if the king is in his deathbed and he has no siblings to take
the throne, and no children from the queens consort.

Oh I see Dont they get jealous over the other or something?

I laughed. Well, yes, some of them do. It is politics, after all. Since they have ranks,
they have power over the other.

Hmm she thought. We have consorts back in England as well. But unlike in
Korea, a royal consort isnt necessarily a concubine. Its just a general term to
describe the spouse of the ruling king or queen.

Oh I nodded. You sure miss England, do you? I asked.

She smiled bitterly. Yeah Its different here Its not bad, but I miss my family.

Did you have a lot of friends in England? he asked.

Hmm.. a little, she smiled. But most of them were the children of appas business
partners. We went to school together. But I didnt enjoy their company that much, to
be honest. So I always went to the library to read when I have time.

Why is that so? I asked.

Well they arent that quite bright, she answered.

Oh, I laughed.

And all they usually care about is material things. Theyre kinda pretentious, I
said. They even stab each other in their backs.
They sound like awful people, I said.

Yes they are, she nodded. But I had a few real friends as well. My classmates
from the conservatory were nice. We all enjoyed each others company. A close
friend of mine was from the conservatory. Ellie She plays the piano too. She
wasnt that well off and her parents could barely afford the fees in the conservatory.
But she really wanted to learn. I admired her for that. Shes really kind and carefree.
And so, I secretly funded all her fees. She doesnt know until now. I bet shell kill me
if she finds out, she laughed.

Do you miss her? I asked.

Yes, of course. But we talk to each other almost everyday. We try to keep in touch,
she smiled.

Thats nice.

Im glad sunbae approached me Im really having a hard time blending in. For
one, I look different. And almost all the girls in my class despise me, she said.

Theyre just jealous, I chuckled. You got all the guys attention.

I didnt ask for that, she replied.

Just dont mind them. Not everyone is like that, I said.

Sunbae has been very kind, she smiled at me.

Besides me do you have any other friends? I asked.

Hmm Moonyoung sunbae and I talk sometimes. Some of the guys in my class
too Well, at least I have a few than none at all, right? she chuckled.

Maybe you should find a conservatory here as well. You seem to blend well with
people who like music, I suggested.

Sunbae is good in music, she said.

I blushed. Well no, not really. Not like you.

She shook her head. Sunbae knows music. You hear if something is out of tune. It
looks like sunbae also knows how to play the piano. Sunbaes hands look like it, she
said.

I chuckled, embarrassed. Yeah I do, a bit. I mean, not as good as you. But I do
know how to play the clarinet and harmonica.

Oh thats amazing! Not many people know how to play, she told me.
Music is amazing, isnt it? It brings people together, I said.

She chuckled. Do you mean it brought us together? she asked.

I looked at my feet. Damn. Shes smart. She knew what I was trying to say. Well
yeah, I admitted, holding the back of my neck shyly.

Mhm Sunbae is nice, she smiled as she looked up at the sky.

I loved how the sun kissed her hair, throwing red sparks in the air. Her fair skin
glowed, her thin red lips looked soft and her hazel eyes sparkled. She glanced at me
and smiled, catching me in the act of adoring her. Is sunbae hungry?

Would you like to eat? I asked.

Mhm she nodded. Bung-o-pang!

I laughed. Okay, come on. Lets look for a stall.

I want to try new food here in Korea, she told me. I keep eating the same things:
kimchi, bibimbap, ramyeon, kimbap, samgyupsal, tteokbokki And I dont like those
overpriced food in restaurants. I want the real deal. So when sunbae gave me that
bung-o-pang, I was really happy.

Shes adorable. She even gets excited with food! Just like me. Hmm you know
what? Lets look for sundae!

Sundae? Did you mean the ice cream? she asked.

I laughed. No, no! Youll see. Youll see.

Does sunbae like food?

Aniyo, I love it~ I sang.

Oh she looked at me. Sunbaes voice fits autumn! she exclaimed.

I chuckled, looking down at my feet. Does it really?

She nodded. Sunbae should be a singer! she clapped.

Maybe one day I will, I chuckled.

Sunbae should! Its a shame if the world wont get to hear your voice, she told
me.

We went to a small restaurant nearby, not those fancy ones but those run by a
family. It was a simple place, only few people were eating around. I glanced at
Kyesin. She looked kind of out of place, but at the same time her beauty lit up the
whole restaurant.

Imo! I called.

Whats imo? she whispered.

In English, it means aunt, I replied.

I thought ahjumma was aunt, she said.

Ah, no. In restaurants, you say imo, I told her.

Oh okay, she nodded.

The auntie came. What can I get you two? she asked.

Imo, do you have tteoktwisun? I asked.

She smiled wide. Yes, of course! then she wrote it down.

Imo, do you have bung-o-pang too? Kyesin asked.

Oh, no, my dear. But I can run to the bakery nearby and buy you some, she
smiled.

Oh thank you!

The auntie turned to me. You have such a beautiful girlfriend.

My face turned red. Oh, no, aniyo imo! I shook my head defensively. Were not

Oh, Im sorry, she bowed. You looked good together. Anyway, is there anything
else youd want?

Uh 2 cider, please, I said. Or would you like some iced tea?

Oh no, Im allergic to tea, she said.

Alright. Ill bring your orders right up, she said.

Sunbae, what is a cider? she asked. I loved how she titled her head to the side in
curiosity.

Ah in Korea, soda is called cider, I explained.

Ohh she nodded her head. Thank you, sunbae. Im learning a lot about Korean
culture.
Its nothing, I smiled. Tell me more about you.

What does sunbae want to know?

Hmm When is your birthday? I asked.

March 3, she smiled. Sunbae?

February 3! I laughed. Favorite color?

Blue, she said.

Same, I smiled. Favorite book?

Mhm thats tough, she laughed. I guess, for novels, I have to say Les
Miserables.

Ah I nodded. I like The Prince and The Pauper.

Great book, she smiled.

Favorite...ice cream flavor?

Cookies and cream, without a doubt! she said.

Vanilla, I replied. Favorite...drink?

Wine, she confidently smiled.

Wine? Really? So youve drank wine? I asked.

As long as I could remember, she smiled. My family owns a vineyard in Italy and
a winery at Georgia. We have a vineyard here too My mom her smiled turned a
bit nostalgic. Shes Italian, you see. She loves wine and everyday she drinks at
least one glass at night. She believes in all the health benefits it could give, like anti
oxidants and such. Well, as a kid, I was curious of how the red juice tasted. Mom
adored it and would let me dip my finger in her glass as early as four. The Italian in
me liked it. I started really drinking when I was around 10 just a few mL per night,
like how my mom does it.

Isnt it dangerous? To start drinking that early? I asked.

Well, it depends on the person, really. For me, I like it cause it reminds me of mom.
But I know how to control myself. Of course, Ive taken precautions as to how much
Im allowed to drink, I said. Maybe one day I could show you the vineyard we have
here. Its quite beautiful.

Do you miss your mom? I asked.

Yes, very much, she answered with a wistful smile. I miss my family a lot. So I
was really glad James came over for even just a few days. I hope I could introduce
you to him when he comes back.

James? I asked.

Remember the guy who fetched me after the concert? she said.

Oh. shit. The boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, I answered. Are you two close?

Yeah, she nodded. I was five when I met him. Hes five years older than me but
he took care of me a lot growing up.

My heart was starting to ache. You two seem really close.

Yes we are! she chuckled. We grew up together. I really love him.

And then my heart dropped. It was like it was shattering into pieces. She. Loves.
Someone. Else. I put on my best smile.

But he lives in England, right? I asked. Isnt the distance a bit too...tough for you
two?

Hmm... it is, but he calls me every night to check in, she chuckled.

My heart sank. She really loves him.

Now, I wasnt really a selfish person, but for the first time in my entire life, I wanted
something so bad I would give up anything just to have it. So I wasnt ready to give
up. The moment they break up, I would be there to catch her. Long distance
relationships dont last anyway, right?

Auntie came with our food. Sundae, tteok sauce and some fries, as well as Kyes
bung-o-pang. She thanked the auntie and took one bung-o-pang in her hands.

This is sundae, I told her. You can eat it with the tteok sauce. I know it doesnt
look that good, but it tastes delicious.

She laughed. Oh sunbae, Im not a picky eater.

She took her chopsticks, got a piece of sundae and dipped it in tteok sauce. She ate
it.

What do you think? I asked.

I think we should go to food trips more often, she chuckled. She took another
piece and ate.

I laughed. Shes adorable! A girl who isnt picky with what she eats.

I took a piece and ate with her.

I had loads of fun. Loads and loads. She was so extraordinary. Well, she still is. I was
allured to her. Starstruck. It was like heaven talking to her. I love the way she
laughs, the way she smiles, the way she looks at me
How could I not fall for her?
But I wanted to ask her all those time we were talking if that James guy really is
her boyfriend. If she has a boyfriend, then what chance do I have left? I mean, liking
me is 50-50, but actually having a chance? I felt like I have perhaps less than 50%.
We were on our way back. We talked comfortably on the train and I can say
confidently that we grew closer.
Sunbae, my place is this way, she said.
Oh, Ill go with you, I said.
Oh, no, sunbae. Its not a long walk, she said.
Really, its fine, I smiled.
She smiled back at me. Thank you, sunbae.
So do you walk everyday to school? I asked.
Yeah, she smiled. I like walking I was always driven around back in England,
she chuckled.
I laughed alongside her. You must be rich or something, I said.
Or something she nodded.
And then the sky suddenly turned dark and it roared. Giant raindrops fell from
above.
Oh no I muttered.
The rain suddenly poured. And it wasnt just a light drizzle. No. It was full on raining
cats and dogs. I took off my jacket and placed it above our heads.
Come on, Kyesin! I said, running. But then I looked around and she wasnt beside
me. I looked back and saw her standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking up in
the sky. I run back to her. What are you doing? I asked.
Ive never stood in the rain before, she said, smiling at me. I wondered how it
feels like.
Ohher innocence is admirable. I smiled at her. It seems like fun, doesnt it? But if
you stand in the rain, youll catch a cold. That doesnt sound that much fun, does
it?
She laughed. No it doesnt.

So lets go, I said.

She nodded. Come! My place is this way.
We ran. My jacket barely covered us both. It wasnt that far, though. We stopped at
a very tall building with glass panelling everywhere. It seems to be such an
expensive place to stay in.
Where are you going? Kyesin asked me. Her hair and clothes were dripping wet.
So was mine.
Uh I better head home, I said.
She shook her head. Sunbae should dry off first. And I have an umbrella upstairs,
she said.
I uh
Please, sunbae. Youll catch a cold, she smiled.
I had to chuckle. It was pretty funny. Okay, okay, I nodded.
Dripping wet, we rode the elevator up to the 8 floor. The hallways were quiet. She
th

input her code and we went in her room.

This was the first time I have ever been to somebody elses house. Somebody who
isnt my relative that is. And while outside, I was curious. What would it be like? Will
I get to know a brand new Park Kyesin? Did she trust me that much that she can just
show her house to me? Did sheperhapshold me as something dear?
Mhm Im sorry for the mess, sunbae. I havent unpacked some of my stuff yet,
she said.
No, its okay, I chuckled shyly.
I took a step in. I took off my shoes.

And my god was she rich.

Now, I come from a well-off family, but Park Kyesin is a different story. Her house
was huge enough for a family of four to live in. The whole house was
monochromatic. White, brown, black only neutral colors. It looked bright inside.
The living room had a huge TV set, leather sofas, a rug that I could probably fall
asleep in and glass furniture. There was a little garden too. The kitchen had pure
marble fixtures. Her stove as so high tech I didnt even know that those things exist.
And by the kitchen was a mini bar. There were bottles of wine displayed.
Park Kyesin came back with a white towel and some clothes. Here, sunbae. Change
into these. I think James is just a little bigger than you, she said.
Ouch. How did she have James clothes?

Thanks, I muttered.
The comfort room is that way, she pointed and I followed.
The CR was humongous. I could already sleep in here. There was a huge tub, a
spacious shower area and marble fixtures. The whole bathroom was just colored
black and white. It was so simple yet so elegant.
I took off my clothes, and wiped my hair and body with a towel. I took a look at the
clothes she gave me. It was a pair of denim pants and a sweater from Oxford
University. Did James go to Oxford?
I looked at the mirror, thinking to myself as I try to fix my hair. If James went or is
going to Oxford and he is Kyesins boyfriendthen what chance do I have left?

Im no statistics major but these were the things that were coming to my mind.

Null hypothesis: James is her boyfriend. Alternative hypothesis: James isnt her
boyfriend.

Then at which alpha level of significance is the null hypothesis still accepted? If I
treat my p-value as my chances with her, now being around 10% or 0.1, then it
would be at around alpha>0.1. So in short, I am now 90% confident that the null
hypothesis is true which is bad. 90% isnt that high confidence interval.

And why does she have his clothes? Do they live together? No, no. It cant be. She
mentioned he lives in England then why?
Then it came to me. Did did they sleep together?
I was in the brink of losing my mind. I was trying to deny itthat she wasnt that
type of girl that he isnt her boyfriend but when all the facts are staring back at
you like this, what do you do?
I sighed Theres nothing now but to confront itto face the truth that I may be
only a friend to her. Only someone whom she could trust just because I gave her a
bung-o-pang damn, bung-o-pang. You have failed me.
She was in the kitchen, with a towel on her head. She has changed her clothes as
well. She wore a loose sweater and a pair of shorts. Her legs her legs are
so white. I tried to look away.
Sunbae, you could place your clothes at the drier, she said.
I did as she said and hung my clothes to let them dry. I didnt notice it before but in
her living room was a floor length window panel. I looked outside. It was still raining
hard.
Sunbae she gave me a cup. Its honey and lemon tea with a touch of ginger.
Its good for you, she said.
I took it from her and took a sniff. It smelled good. Thank you, I said.
She sat down on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate. Honey since youre voice is
like honey, lemon for good circulation and a lot more health benefits, and of course,
ginger for soothing your throat, she whispered.
I smiled. Shes very thoughtful.
She was busy drying her hair when I gathered up all my guts to ask her subtly about
this mysterious guy James.
Hey, Kyesin I said.
Yeah?
Wouldnt your namchin be angry at me if he learns that you let me borrow his
clothes? I asked.
She looked at me, bewildered. Namchin? she asked.
Namchin short for namja chingu. Boyfriend, I said.
This is it. The whole truth. Was I ready for it? No.
I know what it means, sunbae, she laughed. But whos my boyfriend?
I raised an eyebrow up. James, I said.
She stared at me for a good five seconds before bursting into laughter. I felt like an
idiot standing there, not knowing what was going on with her head.
Sunbae! she laughed. oh sunbae
What? Why? Whats wrong with what I said?
James isnt my boyfriend!
hes not? I asked. I was shocked.
She shook her head. Hes my brother, she smiled.
Oh Relief washed through me. He. Isnt. Her. Boyfriend. Now I really feel like an
idiot for making assumptions. Now it made sense why she loves him so much and
why she has his clothes. Ha ha at all my statistical thoughts earlier. Stupid Kyuhyun.
Stupid.
Why would sunbae think James is my boyfriend? she asked, chuckling.
Well because you look nothing alike! And you said you met him when you were
five and you grew up together, I explained.
Oh she nodded. hes my step-brother. She told me.
Oh I see, I said. Was she adopted? Or was he adopted?
Was sunbae jealous? she asked.
Well, yeah. Coz I like you, I answered abruptly. I didnt even know I was saying
that aloud until I have said it. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Kyuhyun. Her hazel eyes stared
at me.
Sunbaelikes me? she said.
I felt my cheeks burning. I stood up and placed my empty cup on the table. I uh
I have to go. My my mom is looking for me now
Sunbae, wait, she said.
Thank you for your hospitality. Ill see you in school, okay? I said.
Wait, sunbae! she stood up as I rushed to the door.
I went out of her place and nearly ran to the elevator. I pushed the button and
prayed that the elevator comes on time.
Kyuhyun sunbae! she called from the corridor. Thankfully the elevator doors
opened. I quickly went inside and pressed the G button.
I wish the ground will swallow me now. I just accidentally confessed to Park Kyesin.
Sunbae! she called, but the elevator doors closed. I breathed a sigh of relief.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

Chapter 10: The better part

Kyuhyun-ah, you have a visitor, Eommas soft voice woke me up.
It was already Wednesday and I have been sick for four days now. Because I ran
from Park Kyesins place to the bus stop and then to my house, I caught severe
fever and colds. Until now I couldnt move, and didnt have the energy to.
If its Ueno or Moonyoung or Jaehyun, tell them Im not in the mood, I said. I knew
theyre just going to bug me about Kyesin.
Its not them, eomma smiled.
Sunbae, Park Kyesins soft voice rang in my ear. And there she was, standing by
my door in her uniform. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Shes. here. In.
my. Room. And I was wearing my pajamas! My teddy bear pajamas!
Ill leave you two alone, eomma smiled before closing the door.
Thank you, Kyesin bowed.
She turned to me. How is sunbae feeling? she asked, taking a step closer.
I wrapped myself in my blanket to hide the teddy bear pajama. Dont come closer.
Im sick, I said.
She just laughed at me. Its fine, sunbae. I brought you soup Im on my way to
school when I thought I should drop by and give you some, she said.
My house isnt on the way to school, I said.
It isnt, is it? she smiled shyly. I havent seen sunbae for days I was afraid I
upset you But your friends told me you were sick. Its my fault.
Ani! I shook my head.
Kyesin sat on my bed and opened the thermos she brought. Here, sunbae, have
some soup, she said, giving me the cap. I sat up and took it in my hands.
Thank you, I whispered before sipping.
Its nothing, she smiled. Its the least I can do I tried to catch up with sunbae
to give you an umbrella but sunbae quickly disappeared.
Oh I whispered, embarrassed.
She looked at me, concerned, and placed her hand on my forehead. I shook at how
cold it felt. Sunbae shouldnt have run out in the rain, she pouted.
My heart jumped at how cute she looked. Sorry, I said.
Oh! Teddy she muttered.
I realized that the blanket fell and my teddy bear pajama is exposed. I quickly
covered it back.
She laughed such a calming sound. Ani, sunbae~ its cute.
I dont want to be cute
She smiled at me again. Sunbae, please dont think about it too much. Sunbae
should focus on getting better faster.
I knew she was talking about my failed confession. Im sorry I mustve surprised
you a lot, I whispered apologetically.
I like surprises anyway, she chuckled. Sunbae should be better by Saturday
evening.
Why? Is there something I need to do in school?
Hmm no she stood up and walked a little. She looked down at her feet. I want
to bring sunbae on a date, she admitted shyly.
My heart was about to leap out of my chest. Youre not mocking me, are you?
She quickly shook her head. I want to show sunbae something something
special she said. So sunbae should get better soon if you want to come with
me!
I chuckled. Okay then. I promise, Ill try my best.
She smiled at me. If sunbae is better then, lets meet at my building at 6pm. Wear
something formal.
Okay, got it! I smiled, overly excited.
She took her bag. I better go to school now I might run late. I hope you get better
soon!
I will, I promise! Take care. See you soon! And thank you for the soup, I said.
She opened the door. Andoh sunbae?
Yeah? I asked.
She looked at me with her innocent hazel eyes and brought her lips into a wide
smile. I like you, too, sunbae, she said before closing the door behind her.
I was frozen on my bed. I was stupid. I shouldve run after her. I shouldve confessed
again and this time, properly. I shouldve hugged her. I shouldve told her how she
makes me feel. But no, I was stuck.
But I was happy. So happy. I was leaping for joy (metaphorically). My heart felt warm
and my brain went fuzzy. I couldnt stop smiling. I couldnt stop replaying in my
mind the moment she told me how she felt.
I lay on my bed, eager to get better at all costs. I have to go on that date.
I was a whole lot better by Saturday morning. My fever was gone but I still had a bit
of a cold but it was manageable. Appa wouldnt let me go at first since I have just
recovered but I begged him to. Eomma was full support, of course. She already likes
Kyesin the moment they met. She told me Kyesin was very nice and polite and she
already wants Kye to be her daughter-in-law. I told eomma that we were just
starting to date. When she heard about our date, she had my junior proms tuxedo
dry cleaned and ready by Saturday.
Kyu, just a little more, eomma said as she fixed my hair.
Eomma, its already good enough! I complained.
But you have to look really really good, dont you? she said.
Eomma, Ill be late!
Okay, okay! Where are you guys going anyway? she asked.
I dont know she just asked me to meet her at her place, I said.
Are you commuting wearing that?
I dont know, eomma.
She took her purse from her bag and gave me 20,000 won. Here, take a cab. Dont
let her ride public transportation. And Dont tell your father I gave you money,
okay?
I laughed. Thanks eomma! I gave her a hug.
I took the bus to her place, tapping my feet impatiently as the bus stopped every
time it needed to load and unload passengers. I kept checking the time. I didnt
want to be late.
I arrived at her place at exactly 6 in the evening. I looked around in the lobby. She
was nowhere in sight. Was I late? Did she think I havent recovered? Did she already
leave?
No, Kyu. Shes still here. She likes you, remember? Shell wait. I took a seat in one of
the expensive leather chairs in the lobby as I waited.

Or maybe I misheard what she said. Maybe she doesnt really like me. I mean, not
like I do. Like maybe as a friend?
And then, the elevator doors opened.
My heart stopped. I swear it did. When Park Kyesin walked out of the elevator with
her nude-colored off-shoulder long dress, my breath was taken away. And when her
hazel eyes found mine, my heart melted. Her face was painted with both relief and
happiness.
I stood up. Her beauty was radiating. Sunbae! she walked excitedly towards me. I
knew youll recover quickly.
Well, you helped a lot, I tried to flirt.

WHAT AM I SAYING?
She chuckled. Im glad I did.
You look really beautiful, I said.
She smiled. Thank you. Sunbae looks really handsome.
I blushed. Thanks
So, shall we go? We might arrive late, she said.
I nodded. okay. We walked outside the building. Should we take a cab or
Then a shiny black limousine came rolling to a stop in front of us. Kyesin opened the
door. Are you coming? she asked me before getting in.
Yeah yeah I said excitedly.
Ive never been in a limousine before. It was so spacious and the seats were velvet.
uhm may I know where we are going?
She smiled at me. Mozart.
Mozart?
She nodded. Theres this musical Ive been dying to watch. Its the very first
musical Ive watchedand it was when I was on vacation in Austria. And it was
amazing. So when I heard theyre doing a version here, I had to go and see. I want
you to watch with me.
Mozart, the musical? I know that! Ive always wanted to watch a musical here, I
said.
And now we are, she chuckled.
But the tickets are always so expensive I couldnt
I already bought our tickets, she grinned.
Wait What But I cant
Sunbae, I asked you on a date. I bought it for us, she said.
But
Sunbae! she chuckled. I want to buy it for us. Please.
Well, thank you I said.
We arrived at the venue after around 45 minutes. I could see now why we had to
wear something formal. But Kyesin Kyesin blends perfectly well with everyone.
She looks extremely classy and elegant. We went inside the theater. Our seats were
good. Not too near the stage, not too far as well. The acoustics were amazing.
Ive never seen Park Kyesin so engrossed. And I have never been so. But the
musical was spectacular. I havent heard anything of this caliber. The actors voices
were so whole and the notes were so precise. There was so much emotion. Their
acting was impressive and the orchestration oh the orchestration was
magnificent. I want to be there, on stage. I want to sing to everyone. I want to
create an impact to people with my voice. I want to move people.

I want to be a singer.
Then it dawned on mewhy Kyesin wanted to watch this musical with me. She was
trying to help me realize my dreamswant I really want, and how bad I want it. She
saw something in me that even I hadnt seen, and brought it out.
When the musical ended, we were both overwhelmed by the excellent production.
We were walking back to the exit in silence yet contended. I cautiously took her
hand.
Thank you, I said as I laced my fingers with hers.
She looked up at me, a bit shocked by my sudden act, but then smiled a few
seconds later. For what? she asked.
For bringing me here, I replied with a smile.
Oh she chuckled. I hope sunbae can be one of those too. I want to see sunbae
perform just like Mozart I know you can do it.
I want to become like him too Mozart I admitted. He was really good, wasnt
he?
He was excellent, she giggled.
I pulled my hand away. Kyesin looked at me, surprised with a hint of sadness in her
eyes. But I smiled at her reassuringly, took off my coat and placed in on her
shoulders. Its cold, I whispered. My heart felt warm again.
Oh no, Im fine. Sunbae should take this. You havent fully recovered, have you?
Oh she noticed. No, take it, I laughed. I put my hand back on hers. I have your
hand to keep me warm.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I SAYING..
But she took it well. Her cheeks were painted red and she looked down on the floor
shyly. Thank you.
The limousine fetched us again and we drove back home in silence. But this time, I
sat close to her, still holding her hand. My heart was frantically beating. I know my
cheeks should be red now.
Kyesins head suddenly leaned on my shoulder. I looked at her and found that she
was asleep. Oh my heart fluttered seeing her like that. She looked so serene.
Carefully, with my free hand, I tried to brush my hair. What was this Im feeling? Is
this what they call love? I dont know yet But I really really like it.
When the limousine stopped in front of her building, she was still fast asleep.
Kyesin, I whispered. Youre home.
Her beautiful eyes fluttered open and she sat up straight. Sorry she mumbled.
Its fine, dont worry, I chuckled.
She looked at me. I like how she still kept her hand in mine. Sunbae, its late. Ill
have the driver bring you home.
Oh, no, its okay. I can take the bus from here, I said.
She shook her head. Its dangerous and its cold. I dont want you to get sick again.
I miss seeing you in school she admitted shyly.
Okay, I nodded. Thank you.
She put the black barrier down between the passengers and the driver. Fred,
please bring Kyuhyun home. You already know his address. We went there last
Wednesday morning. Thank you, she said in her British accent. I havent heard her
speak English before and hearing her speak now sounded like music to my ears.
Yes, Madame, the driver responded in his heavy British accent. I didnt notice it
before but it was the same driver that was with James when they fetched her after
the concert.
Kyesin looked back at me. Sunbae, his name is Fred. He only speaks a little Korean,
but hes sure to drive you home.
Alright, thank you very much.
Thank you for today, sunbae she smiled. I had a lot of fun.
Me too, I nodded.
Her fingers were still laced with mine. I didnt want to let go. As I stared at her hazel
eyes, I begin to have the urge to kiss her Her face is so close to mine. It was only
a matter of leaning in.
I should go now Its getting late. Please apologize to your parents for me for
keeping you for long, she said.
I dont think eomma minds but I will relay the message, I chuckled.
So Ill see you in school. Good night, sunbae. Take care, she smiled at me before
opening the door.
Hey Kye? I said, still holding her hand. It was the first time I called her by her
nickname.
Yes, sunbae?
I breathed deeply and my heart was fluttering. I could already feel my cheeks
burning. I really really really liked going out with you tonight I looked into her
hazel eyes. I really really really like you.
She smiled at me. Her eyes were warm and contented. I really like sunbae too.
Very much.
I squeezed her hand. My heart was pounding. I want to kiss her.
Is it okay if I take you on a date again? But this time Ill ask properly, I asked.
She laughed. Of course, sunbae.
So, I guess Ill see you on Monday?
Mhm, she nodded. Good night sunbae.
Good night, Kyesin. Sweet dreams, I said before finally letting go of her hand.
I leaned back, blissful, as the limousine drove to my house.
Am I in love?
Yah! Cho Kyuhyun! I heard someone call me.
What? I turned.
Ueno raised an eyebrow at me. Ive called you five times already! Help me with
this!
I groaned and stood up. I tore off the leaves from the oregano plant for our research
project.
Whats up with you? Ueno asked.
Why do we have to do this at lunch time? I asked.
Well we dont have other free time today, Kyuhyun. We have training later,
remember?
He wants to stalk Park Kyesin, Moonyoung smirked. He finally found out where
she stays.
Ueno laughed. You can stalk her when weve put these into the Soxhlet apparatus,
he said.
Hey Kyu, Jaehyun said. I heard she likes someone. I froze. What if they know
already?
What? How did you find out? Ueno asked.
Apparently Jonhee asked her to prom last Friday, Jaehyun said.
My head snapped up. Jonhee is this arrogant batchmate of ours. What?!
Yeah. It was after classes. Only a few people got to see. Of course, Jonhee was
confident as fuck, Jaehyun rolled his eyes.
Did she say yes? Moonyoung asked my unspoken question.
Jaehyun shook his head and laughed. Im glad she didnt. That guy deserved it. But
she said she already likes someone thats why she is saying no.
Oh my lips uncontrollably turned up into a smile. Did she reject him because of
me?
Who do you think is the guy she likes? Moonyoung asked.
You know, my bet is on the guy who fetched her after the concert. The foreigner,
Ueno said.
Wrong.
OH yeah, that makes sense, Moonyoung asked.
Very wrong.
Jaehyun looked at me. I tried to keep my composure. What do you think Kyu?
I think it isnt him, I simply said. I walked to the analytical balance to weigh my
leaves and record it in our logbook.
Ueno laughed. Okay, if you say so.
Well whoever he is, he is one lucky guy, Moonyoung said.
Correct. Very lucky.
I wrapped my oregano leaves in filter paper and inserted it to the middle piece of
the Soxhlet. I put ethanol on the third piece and installed my Soxhlet, putting it on
the metal holder and connecting the tubes for water to flow. I put it up to 79C.

Ill go ahead, I said.

I quickly put my things back in the classroom, got my lunchbox and ran to the
library. I went to the textbook section and felt relief when I saw Park Kyesin in her
usual spot, reading.
Hi sorry, Im late I said.
She laughed. Sunbae, its alright.
Mhm Do you really need to read today? I asked.
Wae, sunbaenim? she asked.
Hmm lets go on a date I said shyly.
Now? she asked.
I nodded. Sorry, we dont have much time left. I had to do something for our
research paper and
She stood up and smiled. Okay, sunbae. Lets go.
Really?
She nodded. Come on. We only have 20 minutes left.
Follow me, I smiled.
I led her to the rooftop. Only a few students in this school know about this place,
and most of us were students who stay late due to contest trainings, so I knew it
would most probably empty.
This is a secret place so dont tell about this to anybody, okay? I said.
She nodded. Okay. I opened the door. Her face immediately brightened.
Sunbaenim! Its beautiful here! She ran to the edge and looked over the view.
I set up the blanket I brought for us to sit on. She looked back at me. Sandwich? I
offered.
She chuckled and sat beside me. Thank you, she said and took the sandwich from
me.
Iuh I made it myself, I said shyly.
She took a bite cheerfully. She looked really cute. Gomawo, sunbae. Its really
good!
Thank you I replied. I was blushing again.
I reached for her hand. She let me lace my fingers with her. She placed her head on
my shoulder, closing her eyes.
Its really nice here, she whispered. Thank you for bringing me to this place.
Its really nice, isnt it? I said.
Yes, she nodded. This is nice, she squeezed my hand.
I havent told my friends aboutus I said.
Hmm, thats fine, she chuckled. It isnt really a big deal for me But I am
worried for sunbae.
Me? Why? I asked, putting my head on top of hers.
Hmm I overheard some junior sunbaes the other day they were talking about
oppa, my brother they assumed I had a relationship with him just like you but
the way they talked about him I dont want it to happen to you too, she said,
looking at me.
I brushed her hair back. Im sorry you had to hear them.
She smiled at me. You shouldnt say sorry Its not your fault.
Do you think it will be difficult for us when people find out? I asked.
She nodded. Sunbae has girls who like you too, she laughed.
well then we have to keep this a secret for a while, I grinned at her.
Whatever you think is best, she put her head back on my shoulder.
I chuckled. Okay then. I then placed my head on top of hers again. Lets do this
every day if its alright with you.
As long as I have nothing to do, she smiled.
I smiled; my heart fluttered. I really like you, Kyesin.
Kyuhyun-ah, Ueno called. Well go ahead! Eomma wants me back early.
Alright! I said as I fixed my things. We had training for the upcoming Math
Olympiad today so we stayed quite late. I went back to my classroom to get a
notebook I forgot from my desk. The school is empty and the corridors are crazy
silent, almost deafening.
I am not a coward or anything but it felt weird and creepy to be walking alone in the
corridors so I ran back to my classroom and got the notebook I need. Suddenly, a
burst of thunder echoed through the school. It was going to rain. It was a good thing
I brought an umbrella.
Ah the rain it holds such a special memory. My heart flutters even as I think
about it.
I walked quickly out of the school building. But there there she was my
sunshine.
Park Kyesin stuck her hand out in the rain. She looked up the sky worriedly. She took
a deep breath before stepping in.
I ran to her side and opened my umbrella. You should really start bringing an
umbrella, I chuckled.
She looked at me. Sunbae, she smiled. It was a smile so breathtaking.
Ill walk you home, I said.
Thank you, she nodded. She then grinned at me and held my arm.
So, Miss Park, what are you doing this late in school? I asked.
Hmm Training.
For?
Chemistry, Physics and Biology Contests, she answered.
All those? I laughed.
Yup, she nodded with a laugh. Sunbae has Math Olympiad training today, right?
Yeah Are you tired? I asked.
Just a little. How about you?
Hmm I was But seeing you made me feel better, I said.
She chuckled. Im glad I made you feel better.
Dont I make you feel better?
Her cheeks turned red. She looked at her feet. Sunbae Seeing sunbae always
makes me happy, she admitted in a small voice.
I looked at her. You really look cute when you get shy.
Oh she said, scratching her head a little.
Cute. I placed my head on top of hers. We walked in silence for a while before I
decided to speak again. I heard Jonhee asked you to prom.
Ah Yes, he did.
What did you say? I asked, even though I already know the answer.
She looked at me. No, of course!
Wae? I smiled.
Because I like sunbae she said like it was such an obvious reason.
I smiled widely at her. Oh I see.
She pouted at me. You just wanted to hear me say it
Yes, I chuckled. Aigoo, youre really cute.
She breathed deeply and held my arm tighter. She leaned her head on my arm as
we walked.
Thank you for walking me home, she said as we arrived at her building.
I nodded. Youre welcome. Iuh I better go, I said but held her hand.
Okay, she said, holding my hand tighter.
Ill see you tomorrowat the rooftop, I said.
Ill bring food for you too, she smiled.
Alright.
Ah sunbae should be off now. Its really late, she said.
Ah I want to hold your hand longerbut appa will get mad if I get home late, I
said. I let go of her hand and brushed her hair. Ill go now see you tomorrow.
Ne. Take care, sunbae, she said before turning around.
Ah Kyesin?
Ne, sunbae?
I breathed deeply. I took one step closer and kissed her cheek. Good night.
Her wide hazel eyes stared at me in shock. I bit my lip and turned around, walking
away quickly. My heart wouldnt stop fluttering.
I got home in time before my father did. Eomma was washing the dishes in the
kitchen. Giddy, I went to her and hugged her from behind.
Eomma~ I said, heart fluttering.
Oh, Kyuhyunnie, youre home, she smiled. I have always been a mommas boy.
Eommaaaa I could feel my cheeks burning.
Whats wrong, my son?
Nothing, eomma Everything is good.
Im in love.
Kyesins hand feels warm in mine. We were walking the park, looking for a good
spot to have a picnic. We were each holding our own baskets. It has been two weeks
since we first ate lunch together, and weve have been doing so every day after
that, as long as we were both free. I decided a few days earlier to have a picnic a
proper one with her so here we are.
We were taking it easy. We werent rushing anything and just enjoying the company
of each other. Neither of us had told anyone that were dating. Well except my
family. And perhaps her brother too. But we were fine with it. She was happy as long
as she gets to spend time with me.
Our relationship is slowly progressing. Weve been holding hands as much as we can
when were together. Still, I havent hugged her but my hands are tingling to. I just
couldnt find the right time. As for kisses, well, she hasnt kissed me yet. Ive only
kissed her cheek a few times when we part ways. Of course, Id like to know how it
would feel to kiss her lips. But then again, like I said, we werent rushing things.
We found a spot, quiet yet it had a great view of the park. I set up the blanket as
she prepared our food.
I brought sandwiches, I said.
Me too, she laughed. We each brought our own food but agreed that I was eating
what she brought and she was eating mine. I enlisted my mothers help since I
didnt really know how to cook. When she heard I was going out with her, she was
excited, even perhaps more than me.
I was stuffed after eating what she brought for me. She looked absolutely happy
with the food I brought for her. And I like how she isnt picky with food. She doesnt
care about the price or eating too much. She loves eating as much as I do.
I lay on the ground to rest. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the cool autumn breeze. I
felt Kyesin lay beside me. She laced her fingers with mine.
Ah.. Im full~ she said.
I opened my eyes and smiled at her. I leaned my head on hers. I lifted our hands
together and looked how beautiful they are. I brought it to my lips and gave her
hand a deep kiss. I looked back at her. Her hazel eyes were sparkling. youre
beautiful, I whispered.
She smiled at me. She used her free hand to brush my hair. Sunbae, youre really
handsome, too.
I chuckled. Really? Dont you think I need double eyelids surgery?
Hmm if you want to have it then its really fine with me.
I smiled at her, brushing her wavy brown hair away from her face. Youre an
amazing lady, Kyesin, I said.
She chuckled. She tucked herself in my chest and closed her eyes. Youre so
warm she whispered.
My heart is about to leap out of my chest. I carefully brush her hair as I enjoyed this
moment. We fell silent for quite some time.
Im happy that I met you, sunbae. And Im very happy that Im dating you, she
said before looking at me with her hazel eyes. She took a deep breath before
tucking herself in again. Sunbae she whispered.
Yeah?
My parents are gone she whispered. My real parents
My heart instantly broke for her. Im sorry.
They died when I was around five, she continued. Car crash. They were on their
way back home from a party when a truck hit their car I was sick that time so I
wasnt with them. I was supposed to be with them I used to live in Italy. Our house
was beautiful. The backyard was a vineyard. I used to run around there and helped
out when it was harvest time. When they passed away, my godfather adopted me
since both my parents were the only children and I had no other relatives. He was
nice though, my godfather. Hes kind and generous. He was my fathers best friend.
But since he lives in England, I had no choice but to leave my home in Italy. Dont
get me wrong. England is very beautiful too, but not like Italy.
And so you met James, I said.
Yes, she nodded. He was very good to me. He didnt have a mother growing up
as well. She died giving birth to him so he knew me better than anyone else. My
first few months with them were difficult. They treated me like their own, though,
but it was hard for a five year old to keep up with all that was happening. My step
father was busy with work so I was always with James and Fred, my driver. I dont
like calling him butler. I missed my parents a lot, I had trouble making friends, and I
was sad most of the time. But James helped me. He helped me a lot. He introduced
me to music, made me take lessons so that I could make use of my emotions in a
different yet productive and positive way. I immediately liked it though. I took piano
and violin lessons after school. I thought I was going to be fine Until, the
anniversary of their death came and I was back to square one. So James decided to
cheer me up. He brought me to an ice skating rink and we skated. He made me feel
a whole lot better. From then on, every year, on the day of the anniversary of their
death we skated. James we dont share an ounce of blood, but he is like a brother
to me.
The day we met I whispered. Was that
She nodded. It was their death anniversary then I wanted to skate but I was
afraid to skate alone. She then looked at me. Her hazel eyes were watery. But
sunbae kept me company and skated with me. You made me happy and cheered me
up. Thats why from then forth, you have been a special person to me.
As I looked into her hazel eyes, I then understood why she was sad that daywhy
her eyes turn melancholic whenever I would ask her about her family and her home.
I want to make her smile. I dont like to see her like this again.
I havent told anyone about this she whispered. But I trust sunbae, and I like
you a lotso I wanted to tell you more about me.
Thank you, I said, kissing her forehead. I wiped the tears that fell from her eyes
with my fingers. She looked sad again, but now with a hint of relief. I smiled at her.
Do you want to get ice cream? I asked.
She smiled sheepishly and nodded. I would like that.
We stood up and I packed the things we used. She took her basket and started
walking. Seeing her cry made my heart hurt as if I was the one in pain. For such an
early age, it mustve been tough for her to go through that. I dont know what got
into me but I put my basket down and ran to her, taking her in my arms.
My heart fluttered as I embraced her tight. Im sorry, Kye I whispered. Im sorry
you had to go through that. But from now on, I dont want you to cry. I dont want
you to be sad anymore. I promise Ill try to make you smile always. I will always be
here for you. Thank you. For trusting me.
She turned around to face me, tears flowing down her face. Thank you, she said
before hugging me back. Thank you
I cupped her face between my hands and wiped her tears away. Her hazel eyes
looked at me, now full of relief and contentment. Her hands were now at my chest,
pulling me close by my coat. My heart wouldnt stop leaping. I could feel my cheeks
burning. But I couldnt control myself anymore.
I love you, I said loud and clear. I bent down and placed my lips on hers.
My heart is about to explode. My brain went fuzzy and I couldnt control my body
anymore. Her lips on mine is driving me crazy. Her lips tasted deliciousaddictive
I pulled her even closer to deepen the kiss.
I love you, Park Kyesin.

Chapter 11: The Best Part

I was staring blankly at the oregano leaves I was picking for our research project. My
mind was flying flying back to the moment I kissed her. I could feel my cheeks
burning. It was the most amazing moment of my life. I want to kiss her again.
You bastard! A box of surgical gloves came flying at my face.
Yah! I screamed. Jaehyun, Moonyoung and Ueno came towards me. What did you
do that for?!
Jaehyun sat in front of me and leaned. I know youre secret now, Cho Kyuhyun.
I rolled my eyes at him. I dont know what youre talking about.
Do you know what hes talking about? Ueno asked Moonyoung. Youngie just shook
his head.
Cho Kyuhyun. Dont play dumb with me, Jaehyun said. I stood up to weigh my
leaves. I know why youre always missing at lunch break.
Hes stalking Kyesin, of course, Moonyoung laughed.
No. I checked the library and they werent there, Jaehyun said. I froze. Guys, our
very own Cho Kyuhyun is dating Park Kyesin.
WHAT?! Moonyoung and Ueno said together.
What made you say that? I chuckled nervously as I put my leaves in the Soxhlet.
Tell me, Cho Kyuhyun. Where were you last Saturday? It was a very nice day. Nice
day for a walk, maybe? Or a picnic? he smirked.
I glared at him. How did you know?
Well, I was just walking around, looking for cute girls when I spotted our dear friend
Kyuhyunand guess what he was doing? Hugging Park Kyesin! he said.
Ueno and Moonyoungs eyes stared at me. Is that true? Ueno asked.
I sighed. Yeah
And oh! Thats not all! Jaehyun said.
Did you kiss? Moonyoungs eyes grew large. You did, didnt you?
Jaehyun smirked wide. Theres no point hiding it now. Well I uh it was in the
mood I admitted.
Moonyoung hit me the back. Well done. Kyu! Well done!
Ueno grinned at me. How long have you two been dating? Why didnt you tell us?
How did it happen?
Wait wait one question at a time!
Okay. How long, Kyu?
Around a month, I answered.
A month! Jaehyun clapped his hands. Basically some time after the concert?
Yeah
But how? Last we knew youre too shy to talk to her, Ueno said. All three of them
were huddled around me, curious.
I dont know, I blushed. She asked for help in her history class and I took her on a
date to Gwanghwamun but she didnt actually know it was a date.
Moonyoung laughed. What the hell did you tell her then?
That I was bringing her in a field trip!
Then? What happened? Jaehyun asked.
Well I ended up confessing its a long story, guys, I said.
Fine, fine, Ueno spoke. Why didnt you tell us?
Coz I knew you guys would tease and bug me about it! I complained. Kyesin also
thinks it isnt healthy for others to know
Shes probably right. Have you heard? Two third years got into a fight recently
because of her, Jaehyun said.
What did they fight about? I asked.
Who gets to take her to prom, Jaehyun laughed.
Speaking of which is it you then? Ueno said. The one she said she likes when
Jonhee asked her out?
Well, yeah I guess so, I blushed.
Look at you! Moonyoung beamed at me. Doesnt even talk to girls before but
look at you now. Youre dating the most sought out girl in school!
Speaking of which, I need to go. Kye must be waiting for me, I said.
Nice. Youre in nickname basis now, Jaehyun smirked.
They kissed already! Of course they should be! Ueno laughed.
I rolled my eyes at them. Of course. Such great friends. Ill see you back at the
classroom later, I said before gathering my things.
I was on my way to the rooftop when I saw a couple of people gathered around the
corridor.
How dare you speak to my boyfriend?! Trying to steal him away from me, are
you?! I heard someone shout.
I went in to look closer.
Im not, sunbae. He came to me to ask something about their lesson in Math, a
girl responded.
I pushed myself in. Kyesin was being confronted by a junior.
You really are thick skinned, arent you? the junior scoffed.
I am just stating what really happened sunbae, Kyesin replied calmly. Please do
not worry. I have no intentions with your boyfriend. Now if you would excuse me, I
have to go somewhere.
The junior grabbed her arm. Yah you bitch! Im not done talking to you! she raised
her hand, ready to give a blow.
I caught her wrist just before her hand could land on my Kyesins face. Kyes eyes
grew in surprise.
Sunbae she said.
Let her go or I will report you for bullying, I said grimly.
She snickered angrily before taking her hand off Kyesin. I turned to Kye.
Are you alright? I asked.
Yeah, thanks, she replied with a nod.
Arent you satisfied with one man? You really are obtuse! Even flirting with a senior,
you slut, the girl said.
My fury peaked and I wasnt able to control myself. I faced the girl and pushed her a
little. What did you call her?!
She really is a slut, isnt she?
Dont you ever call her that! I gritted through my teeth. You better stay away
from my girlfriend. If I hear that you talk to her again, Ill make sure youll regret it. I
dont care that youre a girl.
I felt Kyesin hold my hand. Sunbae, calm down. Sunbae, thats enough, she
whispered.
Im surprised that you even have a boyfriend, with an attitude like that, I scoffed
at the junior. Who would like someone that rude?
Sunbae, please, Kyesin said, pressing my hand.
I looked at the people around. They were whispering, eyes on both of us. Yes, were
dating. If any of you have a problem with that, then talk to me. Leave her alone.
I pulled Kyesin out of the crowd and we ran to outside the school building. I pulled
her to the side, towards the field where no one goes to at this time.
I cupped her face with my hands and looked at her hazel eyes. Look at me. Are you
okay? Did she hurt you?
She smiled at me. She took a step closer, tipped her toes and pressed her lips on
mine. Im fine now, she whispered.
Damn it. I lost control again. I pull her lips back to mine. Ahh my heart is beating
fast. The taste of her lips is addicting.
She pulled away a little after a few and tucked her head on my chest as she hugged
me tight. Thank you, sunbae. Thank you for protecting me.
If that girl, or anyone else, bullies you, you just tell me, okay? I said. I liked it. I
liked being her guardian.
Mhm, she nodded. The whole school knows now
Yeah, I said. I breathed deeply. Well theyre bound to know anyway. Well, the
good side is that you can call me oppa now.
She lifted her head up and looked at me. Oppa? Isnt that for brothers...?
I laughed. Well it is for brothers, but couples can also use it if the guy is older.

oh Kyu oppa~ she crooned then chuckled. Ah its cute. Her hazel eyes
sparkled. My heart thumped again.
I brushed her hair back and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. I love you, I
whispered before pressing my lips against hers again.
I was on my way to the bus stop. Training just finished and I was alone again. I
didnt know if Kyesin had training today and stupidly, I still dont have her number
so I had no way of contacting her. I wondered how she was. People have been
whispering and staring at me when I pass through the corridors. I know theyve
been talking about our sudden revelation that I am dating Kyesin. Even some of
the boys in my class have been glaring at me for the rest of the day. This was what
Kyesin was probably worried about. But I ignored them. What mattered was that
were together.
yah, Cho Kyuhyun, I heard someone call me. I spun around. Three of my
batchmates were following me. They were known troublemakers though.
Please, guys, Im tired. Lets do this tomorrow, I said and continued walking.
One of them laughed. Really, Cho Kyuhyun. Getting cocky, arent you?
I breathed deeply and ignored them.
One of them put his arm around me. What did you give her? Some sort of love
potion?
I mean come on. Look at you. Youre no match for Kyesin, the other scoffed.
I rolled my eyes. Its best to just ignore them than start a fight.
So what did you give her? Did you make her eat something? Drink something? Or
maybe you gave her something the guy leaned in and whispered. Something
good from down below he smirked.
I lost my temper. I dropped my bag and threw a punch on his face. The guy
stumbled off his feet.
Dont you fucking dare say that again or I will make your mouth bleed! I shouted.
He chuckled arrogantly. You? You cant even throw a punch properly! He stood up.
You want a fight then? Ill give you a fight.
Enough! I heard a strong voice say. At the same moment, an old man was in front
of me, blocking the blow the guy was about to give. I spun around. Park Kyesin was
standing behind me. You better leave now while this man here is forgiving. With
the way youre acting, theres no way I will ever be interested in any of you.
The three guys fled, probably scared by Mr. Fred. Thank you, Kyesin said to him
before he bowed, got in the car and drove away. She then turned to me.
Are you okay? she asked.
Yeah, thanks, I nodded.
She breathed deeply. I heard what you told them. Thank youfor defending me.
It was wrong. What they said about youabout us, I told her.
I know and I appreciate that you have pure intentions for me
I brushed her hair. What are you doing here by the way? Did you have training? You
look pale. Are you alright?
Yeah, she nodded with a smile. I was on my way home when I saw you. But Im
just a bit tired from training.
Oh But why did you send Mr. Fred away? I asked. You shouldve gone home
straight away. You might get sick.
I wanted to walk with you, oppa, she admitted shyly.
I laughed. hmm I wanna try something. I turned around and bent down. Climb
on my back, I said.
What? she laughed. Kyu, are you sure?
Yeah! I see it in dramas all the time! I said.
But I might be heavy, oppa she said.
Come on, just climb.
She breathed deeply. She put her arms around my neck. I held her legs tight by the
either side of my hips and stood up.
Im heavy, arent I? she asked.
Aniyo, I chuckled as I walked. Hold on to me, okay?
Mhm, she nodded. She put her head beside mine.
So, how was your day? I asked.
Crazy, she answered with a laugh. How about oppa?
Same, I said. People keep murmuring in my back.
Mhm No one is talking to me, she said. Usually someone always does.
Im sorry do you think I shouldnt have admitted it? I asked.
She shook her hand. I think its fine that they know. Im actually quite relieved now,
that we dont have to hide anymore.
I chuckled. Yeah, me too. It would be nice to hold your hand confidently along the
corridors of the school.
She giggled. But I dont want the others to know about the rooftop. I still want to
eat with you there.
Me too, I said.
Oppa?
yeah? I replied.
Exams are coming up, and still I want to have a better grasp on history, she said.
Would you like me to tutor you? I asked.
Mhm yes if thats alright with oppa, she whispered.
You must know by now I couldnt say no to you, right? I chuckled.
She laughed with me. Thank you, Kyu oppa. She kissed my cheek.
Can you do that again?
What?
Kiss me, I said.
Oppa
Come on. I wanna feel like were in a drama, I chuckled.
She smiled at me and pressed her lips back on my cheek for a few seconds.
It really does feel like we were in a movie. But if I only knew it would end up in a
tragedy
I fixed my hair and straightened out my clothes. It was a beautiful autumn Sunday
morning, perfect for a stroll in the park. Its that time of year when the cold wasnt
that unbearable. Im not really a fan of the cold. I love snowboarding, though. But I
hate heat as well. So this is the time of year I liked the most.
Usually, during times like this, Id be out and about. But today was the exception.
Because theres something else I wanted to do more.
I was standing outside Park Kyesins door, a bit nervous yet excited. Our exams are
next week and she asked help from me to study history. Of course, I agreed
immediately. I took a deep breath before ringing her doorbell.
Kyesin opened the door with a bright smile on her face. She was wearing a white
shirt and denim shorts. She looked absolutely adorable but at the same time damn
sexy. I know its wrong to have these inappropriate thoughts but I couldnt help it
when her fair legs are right in front of me.
Hi, she greeted. Come in.
I kissed her cheek and went inside her place. oh I uh brought my old history
books to help.
She nodded and smiled. Thanks, oppa.
I put my bag on a chair and took out the books to put on the table. She sat beside
me with her history book, notebook and pen. I looked at her. She really looks
beautiful. I brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Hey
Kye?
Yeah? she smiled.
Could I ask for something in return for this tutoring? I smirked.
What?
A kiss I whispered shyly.
She laughed. Of course, oppa. She cupped my cheek and pressed her lips on mine
for a couple of seconds. My heart thumped.
Okay! Lets start! I said, all pumped up.
I loved the way her eyes moves as she reads, and the way she listened attentively
to every word I say. She took down notes enthusiastically and asked appropriate
questions. Shes really studious and smart and pretty and adorable and sweet and
perfect. Shes perfect.
We studied continuously and paused only for lunch. I liked how eager she actually is
to learn Korean history. At around four in the afternoon, we finished studying her
whole syllabus for the exam.
oppa, she said as I fixed my things.
Yeah? I asked.
Im a bit hungry, she laughed.
Would you like some kimbap? I asked. She nodded. Okay. Ill go buy some. I know
a place nearby. Stay here. It wont take long.
Okay. Thank you, she smiled. Oh. My passcode is 0-3-0-3 by the way.
I took my coat and went out to buy kimbap. I went a little overboard and bought
some tteokbokki as well. I went back to her apartment and opened the door. Kye,
Im home! I froze. I dont know how that slipped. I then let myself in.
I found Kyesin fast asleep in her huge sofa bed. I put the food on the table and went
towards her. A thick hardbound statistics book was lying beside her. She mustve
fallen asleep from tiredness. I took the book, closed it and piled it together with her
other books.
I found myself staring at her as she sleeps. Creepy, right? But she looked so
beautiful and serene. Her long lashes her thin red lips her cute fluffy cheeks
her pointy nose ahh so beautiful. I carefully lay beside her in the large sofa bed. I
didnt know what I was thinking but I couldnt stop myself. She was just too
attractive. I carefully brushed her hair with my hand and observed as she breathes
calmly.
I inched in closer. Damn it. I want to hold her pull her closer to me But
wouldnt that be too much, for now?
I stopped breathing as Kyesins eyes slowly opened. Shit. Im caught.
Oppa she whispered.
I uh I I stuttered, trying to get up.
Oppa she whispered again but this time she pressed her head against my chest
and wrapped her arms around my body.
I froze. My heart was going to leap out of my chest. K-Kye?
Thank you for everything, she mumbled.
My arms tingled to get a hold of her. I finally surrendered and wrapped my arms
around her and pulled her closer to me. Ohh it felt like I was in heaven. I kissed the
top of her head. Its nothing, really I chuckled.
Mhm so warm she whispered in her sleep.
I closed my eyes as I took this all in. It was the first time I slept with someone. And it
was amazing. This feeling is absolutely amazing. I didnt want it to end. I wanted to
stay like this forever. Ah might as wellstay like thisfor a while.
I slowly opened my eyes. I was alone in the sofa bed now. My cheeks burned. Kyesin
woke up before I did. I sat up and found her back at the table, studying. I slowly
walked towards her, and gave her a hug from behind.
Did you have a good sleep? I asked as I placed my head on top of her shoulder.
She chuckled. Ne, oppa. She looked at me. How about you?
It was really good, I smiled. I carefully kissed her warm lips. She smiled shyly and
blushed. What are you studying? I asked.
Statistics, she replied.
oh? I thought only seniors have statistics classes? I asked.
Oh Im just studying ahead, she replied. My appa the real one he was the
founder and CEO of a statistical firm in England and later on branched to Italy. I
want to expand it here when I finish up Appa always wanted to have a branch
here in Korea.
So thats why youre here? I asked with a smile. You want to learn about Korean
culture so that when youre ready, you can start up a business that your father
founded.
Yeah, she nodded.
You should take up statistics as a course, then, I recommended. I know youll be
very good at it.
Ne, oppa. I will, she smiled at me.
Thats sweet of you to do things for your appa, I said. I admire that very
much. I kissed her cheek.
Oppa she shyly mumbled as her cheeks turned red.
I chuckled. What time is it? I asked.
Half past six, she replied.
What? I stood up and checked the time. It really was half past six. Oh! I need to
go. Appa will kill me if I get home late.
Oh she said, standing up. She helped me fix my things. Kyu, bring some food
with you.
I shook my head. Thanks, but Ill be eating at home. Eomma likes cooking anyway.
Eat those instead.
She smiled and nodded. Okay. Thank you!

I put on my coat and got my bag. I better go now. I had fun today, I said, cupping
her cheek.
She tipped her toes and kissed me quick. Take care, oppa. Ill see you in school!
Thank you for today.
Anything for my angel, I smiled. But ei, thats not how you kiss goodbye to your
boyfriend, I chuckled. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my lips on
hers for seconds. Thats how you say goodbye, I whispered.
She chuckled. She pulled my shirt towards her. One more, she whispered before
meeting my lips with hers.
Time quickly passed. We were both busy with our studies yet we managed to find
time with each other at least once a week, besides our lunch dates at the school
rooftop. OUr love for each other kept growing and never faltered.
Now it was winter. Christmas, in fact. I was at her buildings lobby, waiting. Kyesin
came out of the elevator, looking extremely adorable with her beige coat, black
scarf and black gloves. In her hands were a box of cake and a bottle of wine. She
came running towards me and I welcomed her with a big and tight hug.
Merry Christmas, oppa! she greeted.
Merry Christmas, Kye, I said before kissing her. Even until now, my heart goes
haywire when my lips touch hers. Shall we? she nodded. We rode on her black
sedan. I held her hand. are you cold? I asked, blowing into her hand.
She shook her head. No, not really. Nervous, actually, she chuckled.
Nervous? I asked. Youre so calm in contests and competitions but youre nervous
over this?
Im meeting our family, Kyu! What if they dont like me? she asked.
Yes, that was right. She was meeting my family. Truth is, she was supposed to go
back to London for the holidays but her father and brother are out of town for
business during that period so she decided to stay instead. I didnt want her to be
all alone on Christmas so I invited her to celebrate it with me and my family.
I chuckled and brushed her hair with my hand. Aw. Youre adorable but that wont
happen. Im certain that they will like you. My mom actually already does.
I still have your dad and sister to impress, she pouted.
I laughed. She was so cute. Hey, you won me over, didnt you? Then winning them
over will be a piece of cake.
She sighed. I just hope it really is that easy.
Really, Kye. Just relax, I told her before putting my arms around her shoulders and
kissing her head. I love you, okay? And Its Christmas. You should be happy. I
kissed her cheek.
She looked at me and smiled. But I am. Im happy that I get to spend it with you.

Ahh our first Christmas together. How many more do you think well have? A
hundred?
She laughed at me. I admire that you think wed last that long but do you really
think youll grow to a hundred and eighteen years old?
Well as long as Im still with you, then Ill be fine, I said.
She smiled at me before placing her lips against mine for a quick kiss. You are one
smooth talker , Cho Kyuhyun.
We arrived in my house in a few minutes. We stood in front of my door for seconds. I
was waiting for her to be ready.
Cant I have a good luck kiss or something? she asked nervously.
I laughed. I spun her to face me, cupped her face between my hands and kissed her
deep. Ready?
She took a deep breath and nodded. Stay beside me, okay?
I will.
I opened the door to my house and we went in. Im home! I called. Eomma quickly
ran to welcome us both. Kyesin quickly bowed ninety degrees.
Yah! What are you doing? eomma asked. Stand up! Stand up! You dont have to
bow down low, she said.
But Kyuhyun eomoni
Ei~ I would love anyone who is caring enough to bring my son food and medicine
with hes sick, she said.
Appa then came and welcomed us. Kyesin bowed again. Aigoo, Kyuhyun. Your
girlfriend is so polite!
Appa, she badly wants to impress you, I said.
Kyesins face turned red. I I brought cake and wine, she said. Oh! Merry
Christmas!
Oh, lovely. How thoughtful! Eomma said, taking the cake from Kye. Thank you.
I took Kyesins hand and we went inside the house. My Ahra noona was setting the
table. Noona, this is my girlfriend, Kyesin.
Annyeong haseyo eonnie! Kyesin bowed low again.
Hi! I heard a lot about you, noona smiled.
Oh
Yeah, Kyuhyun doesnt stop talking about you, actually, she laughed.
Noona! I blushed, flustered.
Im glad you two got along. Really, she smiled. You see, I was a bit worried for
Kyu since guys his age think about dating but Kyuhyun doesnt. And then, all of the
sudden, he comes home from that Olympiad training slash field trip talking about
this girl whos, whats that again, Kyu? Out of this world beautiful?
Noona!
Ei why get all shy now? Shes your girlfriend! she laughed. She really likes teasing
me.
Kyesin smiled widely at me and squeezed my hand. Oppa has been making me
really happy, eonnie.
He should, noona glared at me. But anyway, welcome to the family. If my mother
likes you, then I do too.
Thank you, eonnie, she smiled.
See? I told you they will like you, I whispered at her.
Everyone take a seat. Lets all eat, Appa said, taking one end of the table. Eomma
took the other end. I sat beside appa and Kye sat beside me.
I smiled at Kyesin. Everything is perfect now.
Eomoni, let me. Go take a rest, Kyesin said, taking the dishes from eomma.
Ei~ youre our guest! eomma said. Its fine, I can do this. She put the plates in
the sink.
Eomoni, please.
Just help me with this then, eomma smiled. Ill soap and you rinse, okay?
Kyesin nodded. Arasso, eomoni.
Shes really kind, Kyuhyun, appa whispered as we, noona, appa and I, cleaned the
table. Have you met her family already?
I shook my head. They havent come to Korea yet, I said. They already knew that
she was adopted. He nodded.
Look at her, noona said with a sweet smile. She already loves eomma. I couldnt
help but smile as well.
Your eomma is already treating her like family, dont you think? appa chuckled.
You cant let her go, Kyuhyun, alright?
Dont worry, appa. I have no plans to, I said.
I put the cloth at the sink. Eomma? I asked. Can I take Kye up to my room?
Sure, honey, eomma smiled at me.
Come Kye, I said.
But oppa Im helping eomoni she argued.
Go, eomma said with a big smile.
oh.. o-okay She washed her hands and dried them. I took them, lacing her
fingers with mine and pulled her to my bedroom.
Appa likes you a lot, I whispered to her as I opened the door.
Really? she asked.
Mhm noona too, I said. We went inside my room. And I I love you. I put my
arms around her and hugged her tight.
Mhm You really know how to mush me up, she whispered, hugging me back.
You know I havent had this much fun on Christmas.
Really? I asked, pulling her to my bed. She sat down with her feet up.
She nodded. Christmas in London is usually just me and James having dinner, but
instead of asking the staff to cook for us, we cook for them. It is fun, but it gets
lonely since its just the two of us. I love my brother, dont get me wrong, but I
wished I could spend it with more people. Thats why I loved today. Thank you for
spending Christmas with me.
I smiled at her. Thank you too... For wanting to spend it with me.
She dug into her bag and took out a box with a ribbon on it. Merry Christmas,
oppa.
Whats this? I asked.
Just open it, she smiled wide.
I took the ribbon off and opened the box. Inside was a Polaroid. Oh, wow! I
exclaimed.
Do you like it?
Of course! I love it. Thank you, I said and hugged her. I stood up, went to my desk
and got a box from my drawer. I went back to the bed. Give me your hand, I
instructed.
Why? she asked as she held out her arm.
I opened the box and took out the silver jewelry inside. Its not much, but I think it
really suits you well I wanted to put more charms on, but I didnt know it would be
expensive I said as I put on the charm bracelet on her right arm. But I promise, I
will buy a charm for every single precious memory we will have. Valentines Day,
White Day, our anniversary
Oh, Kyuhyun, its beautiful! she said. Thank you.
Its not much
What are you talking about? I like it. I like it a lot! She said with a smile.
I smiled back at her, cupping her face between my hands. I love you very much,
Park Kyesin.
I pressed my lips against hers. My heart fluttered like a butterflys wings. I was so
happy.
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten
Our kiss lasted for ten seconds. The longest we have ever kissed. My head was up in
the clouds when she muttered against my lips the words I have been dying to hear.
I love you, Kyuhyun.
I stood by the school gates and waited patiently for Park Kyesin to come out. My
heart was already fluttering. Why? Because today marks our 100 day together.
th

Luckily, we didnt have any training today since there was a faculty meeting. And it
was Friday, there were no classes the next day.
When she walked out of the gates, my heart nearly stopped. She glowed like
sunshine. I ran up to her and caught her hand. Arent you going to say goodbye to
your boyfriend? I asked.
Oppa, she blushed. I was looking for you in campus. I thought youd still be
there.
Ahh I laughed. Do you have anything to do? Would you mind if I spent the rest
of the day with you?
She smiled at me and shook her head. Im free, Kyu oppa.
Great! I grinned. Do you want to watch a movie with me? Eomma just bought a
CD of Titanic.
Titanic? I havent watched that, she said.
Really?
She nodded. But I heard its really great.
It is, I replied. I laced my fingers with hers as we walked. Our schoolmates were
all whispering and looking at us, but I ignored them. Sorry, but she chose me.
Mhm shall we watch it in my place? she asked.
If thats okay with you, I smiled.
She nodded. Oh! Lets buy food as well, she suggested.
Thats a good idea, Kye. What do you want to eat?
Hmm She squinted her eyes, deep in thought. So cute! I think Im craving for
pizza.
That sounds nice, I said. I know somewhere that serves good pizza. With extra
cheese.
She laughed. When we grow up, Ill bring you to Naples, Kyu. They serve the best
pizza in the world.
Naples?
In Italy, she smiled a bittersweet smile. We used to go there a lot when I was
little just to eat pizza. Its a littlerowdy but its the culture Naples.
I smiled at her. Do you think wed still be together by then?
She looked at me, shocked. Wh-why? Do you think we will not last, oppa?
Oh no, dont think of it that way, I shook my head. Im just amazed that you can
see a future ahead of us because I do too.
Oh she said. Well I want to do a lot of things with you I want to travel with
you I want to eat different kinds of food with you
I do want those things with you too, I said. Until we grow old.
Kyesin blushed red. Ei this is getting cheesy she said.
I laughed. We went in the pizza parlor and ordered a Margherita Pizza. It turns out,
the owner of the restaurant was there and he was half Italian. Overjoyed to find
someone of her race in Korea, Kyesin started talking to him in straight Italian. I
loved how it sounded their language. It sounded beautiful with the Italian rolling r
and the distinct Italian diction. The owner was amazed at her and adored her that
he gave us discounts for the pizza.
Hey Kye, I said as we were walking to her place. My right hand is laced with hers
and my left was holding the pizza.
Hmm??? she asked.
You have to teach me Italian, I said.
She laughed. Why?
So I could get a discount at that pizza parlor again, I explained.
She laughed again. What do you want to know?
Hmm what is Hello, I am Kyuhyun in Italian?
Well, you can say, Ciao, mi chiamo Kyuhyun! which means Hello, My name is
Kyuhyun, she said.
Ah shao, mi giamo Kyuhyun!
Ani, ani, she shook her head, laughing. Its pronounced chao. Mi kiamo.
Ah! Ciao. Mi chiamo, Kyuhyun!
Good! Then, thank you in Italian is grazie.
grachi?
Gratzi, she corrected.
Oh Grazie!
Right! What else do you want to know?
hmmm.. How do you say, I love you?
Ti amo, she replied.
Ti amo~ I said perfectly.
Great!
Ti amo, Kyesin, I said.
She blushed and held my arm. Anchio ti amo, amore mio, she said.
Wait wait wait! You havent taught me that. What did you say? I asked.
I said, I love you too, my darling.
Oh Italian sounds really beautiful.
She chuckled. Really?
Yeah I dont know if its just me but theres already a lot of passion when you
speak alone, I said.
Mhmm Her feet stopped moving and she faced me. Theres one more sentence
I want to teach you.
Alright. Whats that? I smiled.
Sei il grande amore della mia vita, she said.
sey il grrrande amorrre dela miyuh vita? I said.
She nodded. Great.
Sei il grande amore della mia vita! I repeated. What does that mean?
She smiled at me, tipped her toes and placed her lips on mine. It means You are
the love of my life.
I smiled at her and brushed her face with the back of my hand. Sei il grande amore
della mia vita, I said, staring into her sparkling hazel eyes before pressing my lips
back on hers.
We got to her place after a few minutes. She put her things down and changed
clothes as I set up the movie. I put the pizza box on the center table and sat on the
giant sofa where we fell asleep before. I felt my cheeks burning as I remembered
how I held her that afternoon.
Hey, Kyesin greeted as she walked in the living room. She was wearing a simple
shirt and some ultra short shorts. I could feel myself blushing redder.
Hi, I said, clearing my throat. She sat beside me.
I clicked play on the remote and took one slice of pizza and handed it to her.
Thanks, she smiled.
I took one slice for myself and leaned back on the sofa. Kye put her feet up as she
cutely bit on the pizza with her eyes glued to the screen. I put my arm around her
and let her rest on my chest. What did I do to deserve this beautiful woman? I
kissed her cheek.
She turned to me and smiled. Wae? she asked.
I shook my head. Nothing I just wanted to kiss you, I whispered. Her cheeks
flared as she bit her lip and looked down at her feet. No, look at me, I instructed,
lifting her head up. Im extremely happy I met you.
Me too, she replied with a big and warm smile. But oppa arent we going to
watch the movie?
I laughed. Alright, alright. But dont you dare fall for Leonardo di Caprio, okay?
She chuckled, bells ringing softly in my ear. Ill try not to, she said.
I embraced her as we watched the movie. Kye was totally in to it. She didnt utter a
single word. I, on the other hand, having already watched the movie, watched her
instead. I dont know how but I could do this all dayjust stare at her breath-taking
hazel eyes, her sharp and pointed nose, her thin soft lips
She playfully covered my eyes during the scene where Kate Winslet lay on the sofa
as Leonardo di Caprio drew her naked like one of his French girls. I laughed a lot,
and let her do what she wanted. She covered them again during the sex scene.
Youre younger than me, I complained playfully. I should be the one covering your
eyes!
She laughed. No!!! You boys shouldnt be watching these stuff! I laughed and tore
her hand off my eyes, and kept her hand in mine. Ya ya!!! she complained.
I chuckled as I stared into her hazel eyes. I brushed her face with my free hand and
tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Do you know what day it is today, love?
Hmm??? The 13 ? she replied.
th
I smiled. I dont know if you celebrate it in England, but here, couples celebrate
their 100 day together. And today is ours.
th

Oh, really! OH WOW! I shouldve gotten you a gift, she said.

I squeezed her hand and breathed deeply. My heart was beating fast. I breathed one
more time. I took the velvet box from my pocket and opened it. I took the simple
silver ring with seven rhinestones that shine beautifully out of the box and inserted
it in her left ring finger. Park Kyesin, I started. I know this may not be much, and
it may not be as beautiful as other rings, and Im sorry, but I love you. Im mad in
love with you. Please accept this ring as a promise that we will be together for a
really long time, and that I will love you with all my heart.
She smiled at the ring with watery eyes. Oh, Kyu. Thank you! Thank you! Thank
you! she said, hugging me tight. Its beautiful, Kyuhyun oppa. Thank you. And
dont worry. Im not very particular with the value. What I love about it is the
promise it represents.
Help me wear mine, then, I said. And make a speech too!
She chuckled. She took my ring from the box and held my hand to insert the ring.
Cho Kyuhyun. Mr. Bung-o-pang. I love you. Youre the first man I have ever loved
like this, and I want this love to last. I promise I will remain faithful to you and
support you with all your endeavors. I will make sure we eat well, sleep well and do
well in school. I love you. I love you. I love you. She then cupped my face between
her hands and looked straight into my eyes. Ti amo, Kyuhyun. Sei il grande amore
della mia vita, she said in her impeccable Italian accent before kissing me.
My hands travelled down to her hips and pulled her so that she was sitting on top of
me on the sofa as our lips moved against each other. I wrapped my arms around
her, making sure to minimize the space between our bodies.
We let the movie play in the background while our lips and tongues found each
other. She held me close to her and I loved how she wanted to be near me as well.
She pulled my clothes, as I pulled hers. She pressed her body against mine as I
pulled her down to me. It was amazing this making out. We havent done this ever
before so it shouldve been a foreign thing to us, but neither of us cared. To be
honest, I have had indecent thoughts and in that moment, it has gone through my
mind. That I wanted to bring her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed. That I
wanted to press my body on top of hers and make her whisper my name. That I
wanted to kiss every little bare skin possible. That I wanted to tear her clothes off.
That I wanted to make love to her like the way Jack did with Rose.
But we were young, especially her, and I dont think shes ready for any of those
right now. So I had to put aside my desires and settle for this. Anyway, this was
beyond what I really want: which is to be hers.
That day was one of the best days of my life.
Its a shame it had to end.
Weve been very busy with school work, especially now that I was graduating, and
her with her endless contests. Shes been winning every single one of them, though
I know shes quite hesitant to join since she just moved here. But nonetheless, she
does as the teacher insists.
Kyesin and my mom have been spending bucketloads of time together. Its actually
my mom who invites her over all the time. She would, immediately, do so. They
would cook together and talk about anything under the sun. My mom adored her,
and Kyesin loves her as well. I asked my mom to tone it down a bit because it might
be bothering her but both insisted that they want to meet as much as possible. I
guess eomma was able to fill the void of her having no mother for years.
Thats why when I told eomma I wont be taking her to prom, she was devastated.
No, we didnt break up. She had a Math contest at Singapore a week before prom
and will only get back on the night of. She was really sad about it, and so was I. We
were both looking forward to it but then, of course, school work comes first.
But then, of course, I thought of a plan. I was still bringing her to prom. I wont go if
she isnt my date. I didnt care either if we were late or if we arrive just 10 minutes
til midnight. I want to be with her that day. So I asked the help of my mom, knowing
that she would immediately say yes, and from my noona, who was more than happy
to lend a hand.
On the day, I waited outside her place wearing the tuxedo eomma had bought for
me. When the elevator doors opened, out came Park Kyesin in her schools varsity
jacket and bag. Around her neck hung three gold models.
Her hazel eyes sparkled as soon as she saw me. Oppa! she greeted with a big
smile and ran towards me, pulling her luggage. What are you doing here? I thought
you had prom, she said.
I do, I smiled at her.
Oh, youre late already! But you look really really handsome, she smiled.
I wanted to go to prom I started. But I dont want to go without you.
Her cheeks turned pink. Oh But I havent prepared anything
I grinned widely at her and opened her door (I knew her code). I took her hand in
mine and pulled her inside.
Eomoni? Eonni? What are you doing here? she asked.
Come with us! Eonni grinned at her and pulled her to the bedroom. Eomoni
excitedly followed. Kye looked back at me, very confused before she disappeared
into her bedroom.
I sat at the living room, and waited patiently. It took them around half an hour to
finish and when Ahra noona went out of her bedroom with a gigantic teasing smile, I
knew I needed to prepare my heart.
Im telling you, Kyu-Kyu. Youre gonna thank me a lot later, she smirked at me.
Eomma went out of the room, also with a giant smile on her face. Oh, Kyu. You
picked such a beautiful woman.
Park Kyesin stepped out in her skin tone long sleeved lace dress which hugged her
body perfectly, showing off her curves. Her hair was up in a neat bun with just a
couple of curly locks hanging down the either side of her face. Ahra noona kept her
make-up simple and natural, highlighting her most beautiful features: her thin red
lips, sharp nose, fair and clear skin, and of course, her stunning hazel eyes. She
looked absolutely divine.
She smiled at me shyly as she approached me. Hi, she greeted shyly.
Oh uh hi I said, out of words. I could feel my cheeks burning, like hers was.
You lookuhmyou look beautiful. I meanwow
Thanks, she blushed bright red.
You two can compliment each other at the venue, Ahra noona said. You better
go. You dont have enough time to enjoy now.
Go, eomma smiled. Well fix the things here.
Noona pushed us out of the room and into the elevator. How-how are we going to
get there? she asked me.
I asked a favor from Mr. Fred, and he was more than happy to help, I answered.
Oh she said.
I shyly took her hand in mine. She looked down timidly at her feet as she smiled to
herself. Oppa Im sorry Im made you late for prom, she said.
Its okay. I wouldnt want to go without you anyway, I smiled. oh... I heard that
you won. Congratulations!
Thanks, she smiled at me.
I knew youd win, I said. She chuckled.
I pulled her out of the elevator and out the building. Mr. Fred was waiting outside
with a big smile. Miss Park, Mister Cho, he greeted with a tiny bow.
I held out the door for her and got in after her. We rode to the hotel venue in
silence. It was a nice kind of silence, though. Just the two of us at the back of her
limousine with her hand in mine and her head on my shoulders.
Kyesin has always been sweet. She still is even until now.
When we arrive at the venue, prom is already two hours done. We were welcomed
by the photographer who took a picture of us in the beautiful arched entrance. We
went further inside the venue. The program and the dinner buffet are both finished.
The students were now at the dance floor with their dates enjoying the party.
Kyu! Ueno called me and waved.
We went towards him and his date one of our classmates. Kye and Ueno have
been acquainted already before. I often bring her along when my friends and I hang
out. They eventually became really close friends too Ueno, Moonyoung and
Jaehyun. She wasnt shy around them anymore, but shes still shy when were
alone. I mean, well, were almost always quitehmmm whats the right word?
Touchy? Or rather, Passionate? I guess? When were alone.
you made it! Ueno said. With one hour to spare.
Well, I cant go without my date, right? I smiled at Kye.
Well, I think theres still food for you two, Ueno said. But excuse us. My date and I
will be at the dance floor.
Are you hungry? I asked.
Kyesin shook her head. I ate at the plane. You? I can eat again if youre hungry.
I smiled at her. Kind as always. Im fine. I ate before waiting at your place.
Oh I see
Would you like to dance? I asked.
She smiled at me. breathtaking. I would love to.
I pulled her to the dance floor and awkwardly placed my hands on her shoulders.
I uhm
She laughed at me and took a step closer. She placed my hands firmly on her waist,
and put hers around my neck. You havent gone to dances that often, have you,
Kyu?
This would be my firstwith someone, I mean I chuckled shyly.
She smiled. Oh My brother and I go to dances often back in England, she said.
Charity balls, actually.
My hands instinctively pulled her closer to me as I was fumed up by a wee bit of
jealousy. Did you dance with anybody?
Sensing my mood, Kye stepped even closer and rest her head on my chest. No one
remarkable, she answered.
My heart raced again and my arms unconsciously wrapped themselves around her
tiny waist. We swayed with the music from side to side. Kye
Hmm? she hummed, hugging me back.
Thanks for coming with me, I said. I know you must be tired from the trip and the
contests but
I want to be here with you, oppa, she said.
Ive been thinking about what you said about my dream, I whispered.
And?
And theres an audition an SM Entertainment a couple of weeks from now. In March.
Id like to give it a try I know appa will be mad at me but this is what I really
want to be. I want to be a singer. I mean, if I dont pass, then Im not good enough
and maybe its not really for me, I said.
She looked at me and cupped my face between her hands. You have my support all
the way, Kyuhyun.
Thank you.
And if you want, I could come with you, she smiled at me.
That would be great. I will need some strength.
She placed her head back on my chest and embraced me. This is the closest weve
ever been in a place surrounded by people we know and people that know us. I
could feel peoples eyes on us but I didnt care. She was mine and mine alone.
I would be happy to give you some, she chuckled.
Like Ive said, Park Kyesin is kind. Overflowing with kindness. Thats why I never
understood how she could even leave me.
You mean so much to me I whispered, pressing my face on her hair.
You mean so much to me, too, she whispered.
My heart started pounding again. I want to kiss youI admitted in a whisper. But
Im afraid I might get you into trouble
Kye looked up at me with her sparkling hazel eyes. I dont care.
My mind immediately disconnected with my body upon hearing those words. My lips
tackled hers as my arms wrapped themselves tighter around her to pull her closer.
She kissed me back with her soft warm lips.
I love you, Kyu, she muttered against my lips when we parted.
I love you, Kye, I replied before pressing my lips back on hers for a deeper kiss.
Everything seemed so good then. We were madly in love with each other. Even this
early in our relationship, I could already see a future with her. Of course, I knew I
still had to finish college and work a few years before getting married, but I couldnt
see any other girl to settle down with except her. I wanted us to have kids a boy
and a girl, in fact. I had already planned that before I turn 30, Im going to marry
her. Do an extravagant proposal that will sweep her off her feet and bring her into
tears that she has no other option but to say yes. At eighteen years of age, I had
already planned my whole life, and she played a big part of it.
But look where I am now. Its 2015, Im almost 27 and still single. All these plans I
made nine years ago had crumbled and turned into dust with just one event: Park
Kyesin leaving me. Among all those girls Ive dated after her, never have I once saw
any future with them. No one I was willing to settle down with, nor just plainly
seeing us still together after five years.
Kim Heechul was right. It was because no one will be ever as good as Park Kyesin to
me. She was kind, selfless and sweet. No one has ever matched her levels. She
made me extremely happy just by hearing her voice or seeing her hazel eyes. I love
her with all my heart.
But then she suddenly left me. Why is that?
I want to know.

Chapter 12: The other side

Park Kyesins POV
I lay on my bed, tired confused Cho Kyuhyuns kiss still tickles my lips even until
now. Why? Why couldnt I just let go of every feeling I have for him? I know that I
learned to love him from afar back in the States that I was happy as long as hes
happy and healthy. Why cant I do the same now? That as long as I knew he was
healthy, I could carry on and live my life. Was I just lying to myself?
The truth is, I never planned to go to America. I didnt want to. Seven years ago, I
felt like my life was in Korea or wherever Kyuhyun was. He was my life to be
precise.
So what did happen? Why did I leave?
Einstein theorized that time is relative. For example, one person can experience
time relatively faster or slower than another person. This explains the situations
where one feels like the world stop spinning and time is slow. There are a lot of
classical examples of this phenomenon which are easily accessible through books or
online, so I wont discuss further.

However, Ill extend this thought into how a person perceives things. Perception is
also relative, perhaps mainly because no two people think exactly alike (or maybe a
very rare event like this exists but it has to be a one in a million chance). I say this
now as a disclaimer, that the things I say thereforth may have appeared different to
other people, as perception, as Ive said, is relative. Therefore, what I say now isnt
the truth, but rather just my side of the story.

As you all know, Kyuhyun has passed the audition at SME with flying colors. And
within two months of training, he debuted as the 13 member of Super Junior. I was
th

relieved he passed. The only problem then was convincing his dad to let him train.
Cho appa was furious at first, of course, but knowing that his son has got a voice of
an angel that should be heard around the world, he eventually caved in, with a little
help from my pleading, of course. But Kyu didnt know any of that. I chose not to
tell.
His vocals were already excellent when he got in the company. Thats why he
debuted immediately. He only trained for two months, but those two whole months
brought such a shock to him. He barely got any sleep since he was going to school
in the morning, and then training right after til dawn. I wasnt allowed to see him
train as per company rules, but he would call me right before he goes to sleep. I
knew my voice would give him strength so even though he would call at around 3 in
the morning, I would still wake up just to cheer him on. I could hear over the phone
that he was dead tired, but then he really wanted this. He even complained before
about not getting the steps in the dance, since, well, hes not even a dancer. But he
tried so hard just to make his dreams come true. I know. I was a witness to all that.
And then, two months after admission to the company, he was asked to record a
song. It was his debut song, U. When he learned he was going to be a new
member of the project-slash-experimental group called Super Junior, he
immediately called me to tell the good news. He was overjoyed that it didnt matter
if he only got to sing a couple of lines in the song, as long as he could sing. After all,
he said it was one step closer to being a proclaimed singer like Park Hyoshin. I was
excited for him that in such a short while, he was going to make his dreams come
true. I couldnt wait to buy their album. I couldnt wait to hear his voice in the track
and say, Hey, thats my boyfriends voice. I was proud of him. I still am.
But then one day, it was late and I was reviewing at home when I hear my doorbell
ring. I opened my door and found Kyuhyun standing by my doorstep.
Hi, he greeted in a mellow voice. His lips were up in a smile but his eyes his
eyes were sad.
Hey, I greeted to cheer him on.
Can I come in? he asked.
Yeah, sure, I nodded.
Kyuhyun went inside my place. I closed the door and then hugged him from behind,
trying to lift his spirits up.
I missed you, I said.
He breathed deeply. He turned around and looked at me. His eyes began to turn
watery. He took me into his arms and wrapped me in his warm embrace. I miss you
too, he whispered.
Whats wrong, oppa? I asked.
Nothing. I just wanted to see you, he replied.
I cup his face between my hands. I know when youre lying, I whispered. Tell
me.
His eyes were red as a tear dropped from his eye. They hate me, he said.
That instant, my heart broke. I have never seen him cry. Never. It was the first time I
saw him vulnerable and weak. Not physically but emotionally and mentally weak. I
pulled him to my couch and sat on his lap, wiping the tears that fell down his face.
No my angel is crying
Hey, hey I crooned, soothing him. They dont hate you.
Yes they do, he said. Leeteuk hyung his sobs broke him off. Leeteuk hyung
asked meto cook ramen iiijust put too much water and hehe he got
so angry at me
Shh shh Look at me, I instructed. His eyes were lost. I pressed my lips against
his, knowing it would calm him down and pull him together. And it did. Look at me.
They dont hate you, I said. They just need a little bit of time to adjust. Youre a
new member. You havent got to know a bit of each other, right? I know itll be hard.
But I promise, it will get better, okay, Kyu? You got me. Well get through this
together, okay?
He brushed my face with his hand. His sad eyes look at mine. Only Donghae
hyung, Siwon hyung and Ryeowook are nice to me he whispered.
Then start from them. Get to know them, and eventually, the other members.
Youve got a lot of friends in school Kyu, and you even made me love you. Im sure
they will learn to accept you too, I said.
He looked at me and breathed deeply. He took me into his arms and hugged me
tight. Youre the only one who keeps me going right now he whispered in a weak
voice.
Think of your dreams, Kyu Dont you want to be a singer?
I do! I do! But this I barely get to sing in a song. I dont have schedules. Everyone
else is out with a variety show recording or a radio broadcast and Im stuck at the
dorm with nothing to do he said.
Kyu you shouldnt be selfish about these things yet I told him as I continuously
brushed his styled hair. You just debuted. You should be thankful with whatever
they offer you. And once youve already worked hard on your own, and an
opportunity opens, grab it and never let go.
He sighed. Youre right he whispered. Hey Kye?
Yeah?
May I stay here for the night?
Wont you be in trouble for not staying in the dorm? I asked.
He shook his head. They probably wont even notice Im gone. Theyll all be back
at dawnand theyre tired so they wont even bother look for me.
Alright, I nodded. As long as you wont get in trouble.
I sat up and looked at him, cupping his cheek with my hand. He wasnt crying
anymore and his eyes showed relief.
Sorry you had to see me like this Sorry I stopped you from reviewing he said.
I shook my head. You dont have to say sorry, oppa. Besides, I was just reading
advanced topics when you came.
Thank you for supporting me, Kye, he said as he cupped my face. He pulled me
close and softly pressed his lips on mine. I love you.
I smiled wide at him. I love you, too, Cho Kyuhyun. And I know, one day, youll be
famous. People around the world will know your name and will be moved when they
hear your voice. But! Youre mine only, okay? You promised me! Youll have many
girls following you around but youre only allowed to look at me, alright?
He laughed. Finally. Of course, love. He chuckled more.
I stood up and fixed my things on the table, putting them in my bag ready for
school. Kyuhyun positioned himself in the couch, ready to take a nap. He fluffed the
pillows and lay down. I breathed deeply. Hes been through a lot these past couple
of months. He deserves better.
oppa, I whispered, carefully touching his hand. His eyes fluttered open.
Hmm? he answered.
The bed is comfier I whispered and I felt my cheeks burn. if if you cant sleep
here just just go to my room
I shyly went to my bedroom, tucked myself in and shut my eyes, leaving a giant
space on my bed for Kyuhyun to sleep in. I wanted him to sleep beside me. But if I
told him right out front, wouldnt that make me a soft and gullible woman?
I heard the door open and then close in a while. I curled up in my blanket. I felt the
bed move.
Then, I felt Kyuhyun brushing my cheek with his hand. And then, he combed my hair
with his fingers. Then, I felt his lips on my foreheadslowly traveling down my
faceto my closed eyes to my nose to my cheeks. And finally to my lips. I
know youre still awake he whispered.
I opened my eyes and saw Kyuhyun smiling at me.
Id like to sleep with you, if thats okay, he whispered to me.
O-okay I said nervously.
Kyuhyun held my hand. I could feel my heart racing. May I hug you? he asked.
I nodded willingly.
Kyuhyun spread his arms and took me in them. I could feel my heart beating fast
and hard about to leap out of my rib cage. I lay my head on his warm chest. I
placed my hands on them as well. And it felt absolutely wonderful. I wished I could
stay like this forever in his arms, warm and loved.
I love you, Kyuhyun whispered. I wouldnt know what Ill do if I lost you so stay
with me, okay?
I pressed my face closer to him. As long as you need me, I replied. and I love you
too.
Once again, I was alone in school. Kyuhyun, Ueno-sunbae and their other friends
have graduated, leaving me alone again. But it didnt matter to me. I do miss the
lunch dates at the rooftop, though. I go there once in a while.
When Im not studying, I spent most of my time worrying about Kyuhyun. I was
worried a lot. I wanted to help him, so that I could somehow relieve some of the
pain hes feeling. He told me the members are starting to accept him already; it
wasnt as bad as before, but still, he feels a little bit left out when they have
schedules and he doesnt. I want to help him. But I dont know what to do.
One Friday, about five months after Kyuhyuns debut, I was walking back home
when I happen to pass by the pizza parlor we both love. A thought came into me
and I immediately ran inside, ordering five boxes of pizza. I took a cab and rode to
his dormitory. I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
A man wait, no a woman wait, no! A man? WHAT? This beautiful creature came
out and opened the door. Heshewhatever he or she is beautiful! I was lost for
words.
Yes? He asked.
Oh uhm Im-Im K-Kyu
We didnt order pizza, he snapped before closing the door on me.
But Im not
I sighed Right I shouldve told Kyuhyun I was going first. What was I thinking? I
cant just barge in a room full of idols.
The door suddenly opened. Kyuhyun went out. I knew it was you, he sighed,
smiling at you. Sorry about Heechul hyung. He hates it when sasaengs come and
disturb us.
Sasaeng? I asked. It was the first time Ive heard of that word.
Crazy fans who stalk us, he explained. Let me take those from you.
Oh Wait you said hyung. That was a guy?!
Yeah! he laughed. Hes very pretty, isnt he?

Yes! I thought it was a girl.

Did you come here because you miss me? he smiled teasingly.
Mhm yeah and I was worried about oppa I thought maybe if you brought
them food, they would like you better, I said.
He laughed. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach, right?
Right! I laughed with him.
He smiled at me and quickly pressed his lips on mine. Thank you for worrying
about me. I miss you too. Im glad you came by.
I smiled back at him. Well then I better get going
Wait, Kye! he called.
Yes, oppa?
Would you like to meet them? he asked. Heechul hyung seems to be curious
about you.
Oh really? Do you think its fine?
Yeah, he nodded. Theyve been starting to warm up to me anyway.
Okay, I nodded.
I followed behind Kyuhyun as he went inside their dormitory.
Yah! Kyuhyun-ah! Whyd you suddenly run out? I heard someone say.
Im sorry Teuk, hyung. But here, I have pizza for everyone, Kyuhyun replied.
Pizza?! I heard someone else say excitedly.

Kyu! Whered you get all those a handsome man with a bit of a bulky figure said
before staring at me. Whos that behind you?
A foreigner? A small young man said which I found to later on be called Donghae.
Ah Kyuhyun smiled shyly before stepping aside. Id like everyone to meet my
girlfriend.
Hi! My name is Park Kyesin. Its an honor to meet you all, I said, bowing in respect.
Girlfriend?! the pretty man from earlier said with eyes round. He went towards me
and bowed. I apologize! I thought you were a crazy fan! He stood up, took my
hand and shook it. Kim Heechul, by the way, he smiled.
Ani, ani. Its okay, Kim Heechul-ssi. I should be the one apologizing since I shouldnt
have come all of the sudden, I said.
Ei~ Thats okay! You brought us pizza anyway, he beamed.
Kye, these are the members. Leeteuk hyung is our leader, Kyuhyun said while
pointing to a man with average height but had deep deep dimples. Next is Heechul
hyung. Youve met him already. And then this is Hankyung hyung.
A tall man who tailed Kim Heechul-ssi shook my hand. Hello! Nice to meet you. He
had some kind of accent which told me that he wasnt Korean.
Nice to meet you, too, I said. Uhm, in any case, are you not Korean?
Ah, Hankyung hyung is Chinese, Kyuhyun explained.
Oh zhen de ma? Wow! Wo shi ka xi. Ren shi ni, wo hen gao xing! I greeted,
overjoyed that there was a foreigner just like me.
Oh! Wow! You speak Chinese? he asked. We were having a full conversation in
Chinese only.
Yes, just a little. I started learning when I was seven, I said.
Kye, You speak Chinese? Kyuhyun asked.
Yes, I nodded.
Oh
Shes great at it too, Hankyung-ssi said.
Okay uhm this is Yesung-hyung, main vocalist, he said, pointing to the skinny
guy with chinky eyes. He looks serious now but hes actually the weirdest one of us
all, he whispered. Dont ever ask him to dance.
Yah! This maknae! he said.
I chuckled. Nice to meet you Yesung-ssi!
This is Kangin-hyung, he pointed to the handsome and bulky man from earlier.
This is Shindong-hyung. He was healthy and looked like a cheerful man.
Sungmin-hyung. He was cute with his naturalwhat do they call it again? Natural
aegyo? Then, two men came forward obviously best friends. Hes Eunhyuk hyung
and hes Donghae hyung. Eunhyuk hyung is our main dancer, Donghae hyung is the
lead. Ah Donghae? He was the one Kyuhyun mentioned to be one of the
members who are nice to him from the beginning. It appears to me that Donghae-
ssi is his favorite hyung. This member here is Choi Siwon. A tall super handsome
guy with an infectious smile came and bowed politely.
He extended his hand and you shook it. Nice to meet you, Kyesin. His dimples
showed as he smiled.
Choi Siwon-ssi his name sounded familiar. Could it be? Is your father, Choi
Kiho-nim?
Oh? You know appa? he asked.
I met him in Italy a few years back. He came to see my appa He said they were
best friends back in high school, I said.
Oh, Ill make sure to mention you to appa, he smiled. And Im sure he would want
to send his regards too. How is he, by the way?
Kyuhyun looked at me worriedly and squeezed my hand. I took a deep breath and
smiled the best I can. He passed away.
Oh, Im sorry, he apologized. He was unbelievably charismatic.
Its okay. It was a long time ago.
Hey Kye, Kyuhyun whispered. Are you alright?
Yeah, I nodded.
Meet Ryeowook and Kibum, the youngest in our group, he said. Ryeowook smiled
wide at me. His eyes disappeared into slits.
Hi! Nice to meet you! Kibum-ssi suddenly spoke English.
Oh! Nice to meet you too! Do you speak English? I asked, using the language.
Just a little, he smiled. He was pretty charismatic like, what do they call them
here again? Ah! Flower boy! British, correct?
Yes, I smiled.
Thats nice.
Actually, Kyesin bought all these pizza for us, Kyuhyun said as he put them down
on the counter. I felt myself flush.
Did you really? the leader said, if I remember correctly. Thank you. These kids
have a big appetite so I really appreciate it. Trust me, its so hard to keep these kids
full.
You laughed. Youre welcome, Leeteuk-ssi.
Please, dont hesitate to call me oppa, he smiled, showing off his dimples.
Oh, okay, I nodded.
The members all dug in the pizza. Kyuhyun stayed by my side all the time, keeping
a protective arm around my waist.
Hey, Kyesin, right? Donghae-ssi came up to me, holding a pizza. You know what?
Kyuhyunnies been telling us a lot about you.
Does he really? I looked at Kyuhyun. His face was red, probably embarrassed.
Yeah. He really loves you, he said. Thank you for taking care of him when we
couldnt. So Ill make sure to tell you whenever hes being naughty.
That would be great. Thank you, I laughed.
Kyuhyun-ah, you never mentioned your girlfriend was a foreigner, Heechul-ssi put
an arm around Donghaes shoulders.
Im part Korean too, I said. My father is half Korean.
Oh is that so?
Wanna see my room? Kyuhyun asked.
sure, I nodded.
Kyuhyun took my hand in his and pulled me to a room in the floor. He shut the door
behind me before embracing me tight. Im so glad youre here! He whispered.
Its been quite lonely recently.
I turned around and smiled at him. I miss you a lot, I whispered as I hugged him
tight.
The members seem to like you, he chuckled. Heechul hyung really does.
Thats great, right?
Mhm he nodded with a smile.
You didnt tell me that you have gorgeous members, I said.
Which ones? he asked.
Choi Siwon, I replied.
His eyes narrowed at me. So do you like those types of guys?
I never knew then he could be so cute when hes jealous. I chuckled at him and
brushed his hair with my hand. I like you, I said.
So whos more handsome? Me or him? he asked.
To me, the guy I love is the most handsome person in the world, I said.
Kyuhyun couldnt help but smile shyly. His cheeks turned red. I love you, he
whispered to me before kissing my lips.
It was all good at first. When he didnt have a schedule or if he wasnt practicing, he
was spending time with me. I, on the other hand, went to their dormitory to get
closer to the members whenever I had spare time. Getting to know me helped them
accept Kyuhyun better, and I was relieved with that. The closest ones to me were
Donghae and Heechul. Siwon as well. He had plenty of schedules but he makes sure
he gets to talk to me whenever hes free. It was hard to find a time when Kyuhyun
and I were both free, and that led to our first fight. Until now, I shudder as I
remember that day. It wasnt just the fight that I hate remembering, but also the
events that transpired a few days after.
I was in my junior year in high school. As to my fathers will, I was supposed to take
over our company at the age of eighteen. But I didnt know anything about business
yet, so I decided to train for a year before I reach the age of maturity. Therefore,
after attending school during my junior year, I get home and train for the company.
It wasnt an easy job. It was very hard to understand at first but I did my best just so
I wouldnt need to fly to England where the headquarters are to train, and I could
stay in Korea where Kyuhyun was. He was excited for me when I told him the news.
He was very supportive and cheered me on.
But as the days go by, the work load piles on and increases. My day turned into a
routine. I wake up for school, eat breakfast and then attend class. I go home right
after, and face the computer to start work. And after Im through, I study for
tomorrows lessons. By the time I finished with the things I need to do, it wouldve
been past midnight and Kyuhyun is asleep by then. It was too late to call. He didnt
like it.
It was an ordinary April night when I heard a knock on my door. I stood up from my
desk and answered the door. Kyuhyun wide smiled at me.
Hey! he greeted. Happy monthsary!
oh hi! I said. I rummaged my brain for the date. Shit. It was our monthsary. Come
in.
Kyuhyun shut the door behind him. He looked at me. You forgot, didnt you?
I bit my lip. Im sorry, Kyu. It slipped my mind. Ive been so
Busy, Kyuhyun cut me off. I know.
Im really sorry, I said, touching his arm lightly.

He sighed. No, I understand.

We can still go out if you want to. I can change, I said. Give me a few minutes.
No, he shook my hand and embraced me tight. I just want to spend time with
you today.
Kyu, we really can go out if you want to, I insisted.
He cupped my face and kissed my lips. Im fine staying here. At least I can hug you
as much as I want.
I could feel my cheeks burn. I miss you, I said.
I miss you too, Kye. What do you say we order pizza?
Sounds great, I nodded.
Kyuhyun took his phone out and dialed a number. He spoke for a few minutes and
then smiled at me. He said were such loyal customers, the pizza will be here in
five minutes.
I laughed. So, what do you want to do while waiting?
Hmm he narrowed his eyes at me, deep in thought. Oh I know! he said. His
eyes popped wide open.
Kyuhyun suddenly put his arms around me tight and lifted me off the floor and on
his shoulders. I screamed and chuckled. Kyuhyun, put me down!
He threw me to the sofa and then climbed over me. He pressed his lips on mine
gently before whispering, I miss you so much.
He kissed me again, deeper this time. He licked my lips with his tongue to ask for
entry in my mouth, and I willingly accepted. He carefully divided my legs and
positioned his body between them. Then, I could feel his hip pressing against mine.
He wanted me, bad. I knew. From the way he kisses me to the way he holds me, I
knew what he wanted. But hes being careful; he has never crossed the line.
Perhaps he knew that I still wasnt ready to give him his needs. So I knotted my
fingers in his hair and deepened his kisses.
I love how his lips tasted. And I love how he gripped me tight, pulling my body
closer to him. I love how he would moan against my lips or by my ear, making that
sound one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. I love how he was careful at
the same time. He hasnt groped me in inappropriate places, and knows how to
adjust as to what Im comfortable with and where Im not.
I dont know how long we have been kissing but we only stopped when the pizza
arrived. Kyuhyun, of course, grumpily stood up and got the pizza. I found it adorable
though. He opened the box and hungrily looked at the pizza. Hmm I shouldve
ordered cider too he mumbled.
Oh! An idea crossed my mind. I stood up and took two wine glasses from my
cupboard. I then went to the wine cabinet and picked out the most delicious one he
would surely like. I placed them all on the table. Its time I teach you about wines.
I havent tasted wines before, Kyuhyun said as he took the bottle in his hand to
read the labels.
I returned to the table with a cork screw in my hand. Kyuhyun gave me the bottle
and I opened it with a pop. Smell that, I said, giving him the cork. He took it and
put it right up by his nose. He took a deep breath in.
Wow! he exclaimed. It smells so good!
You can actually put that in your bag, I said. Its gonna make it fragrant.
Really? Can I keep this then? he asked.
I nodded. Sure. I carefully poured a bit of wine to each of our glasses. Kyuhyun
immediately took one. Wait! You need to let the tannins set a little.
The what? he asked.
The tannins, I laughed. If you drink that now, its gonna be very bitter.
Oh he replied, eyes wide.
I laughed. That was so adorable. Why dont we eat a little pizza first?
Oh okay, he nodded. He took one piece and bit on it. Now, can I drink? he
asked.
I laughed again. A little while longer, okay, Kyu?
Okay, okay, fine, he chuckled. So, how was your day? he asked as he took
another bite.
You know, same old same old. Were doing a lot in school now. My adviser is
pushing me to do more contests, I said.
Kyuhyun brushed my hair with his free hand. I know youll win them all, he
encouraged.
I chuckled at him. Thanks. How about you?
Me? Well, Im getting more guestings now at least. Ill be in a radio broadcast in a
few days! In Sukira, he said.
The one with Eunhyuk and Leeteuk? I asked.
Yup, he nodded.
Okay. Ill make sure to listen, I smiled.
Ill see if I could greet youbut then you know how our managers are. Theyre
really strict. Theyre against us dating, he said.
Do they know about us?
Yeah but since youre close with all the other members as well, theyre having a
hard time doing anything about it. And you know how Heechul hyung can be. He
wouldnt let them touch us, he explained.
Oh thats good to know. So now, do you want to taste?
Yes! he said excitedly.
Okay, watch closely. With your two fingers, hold the base like this Then swirl the
glass a few times Now, pinch the neck with your thumb and index finger, take a
wiffand then sip, I demonstrated and Kyuhyun followed perfectly.
Oh wow that is good! he exclaimed before taking another sip. Really good!
finishing the wine in his glass. I chuckled at him. I see now why you like drinking
this everyday. He took the bottle and poured some more wine in his glass.
Kyu, thats not water, alright, love? Theres still alcohol in it. So, take it slow, I
laughed.
Can you get drunk with this? he asked.
Not as fast as other alcohols, but yeah, you can, I nodded as I took a sip in my
glass.
Oh Okay he said. He grinned wide at me. He leaned over and kissed me. His
lips tasted wine.
My phone suddenly rang. I gently pushed him and broke off the kiss. Sorry, I
muttered. Kyuhyun pouted. I took my phone and put it against my ear. Hello? I
said.
Hello, Miss Park, the person at the other line said. It was Mr. Venare, the vice-CEO
of my fathers firm said. I was just informed that there are breaches in a project.
Can you take a look and see if we need to adjust limits? I couldnt reach you over
the messenger app.
Okay, please send me the files now. Thank you! I replied.
Kyuhyun pulled his chair next to me, wrapped his arms and started kissing my neck.
Alright, I will email you the files. Please take a look at book FXO, the breaches are
in that book, he said.
Okay, noted. Thank you, I said. Is there anything else?
No, nothing else. Thanks.
I hang up the phone. Sorry Kyu, I need to look at some of the reports. I stood up
from the dining table and went to my desk.
But why? he whined.
Because the company is going to lose money if I dont, I said. Im really sorry.
He sighed. He pulled his chair to my desk and sat behind me. He put his head on
top of my shoulder and pouted. But its our monthsary
I know, Kyu, I said, brushing his hair and kissing his cheek. Ill try to make this as
fast as I can.
I opened my mailbox and downloaded the files sent to me. I opened each one,
carefully checking each book.
Do you even still love me? Kyuhyun whispered.
My hands froze on the keyboard. I looked at him. His eyes were sad. What are you
even saying, Kyu? Of course I love you, I said.
Then why cant you take a little time off for me?! I wait for your call every single
day, Kye. But I dont get any recently! he said.
Kyu, you know how busy I am. After school, I go straight home and work. By the
time Im done with everything, its way past midnight, I explained.
Kyuhyun stood up angrily. Then why dont you call me then?!
Because you might be sleeping!
I dont care! I want to hear your voice! Thats one of the things that give me
strength each day, he said. Even if Im sleeping, I wouldve woken up to answer
your call!
Well then I will from now on! I replied. We were starting to shout at each other.
Im sorry for thinking about your health then!
My health?! he scoffed. For all I know, whenever I ask you if youve eaten and
you replied that you did, youre lying to me!
I never lied to you Cho Kyuhyun! And you know how much work Im doing! You
know Im not doing this for me but for my father! Sure, Ive skipped meals every
now and then but Ive never lied to you, Kyuhyun!
Fine then! Youre busy, I get it! He said angrily. Guess you have no time for me.
Im sorry I came and disrupted you from work. Well then, you can continue now
since Im leaving.
He marched towards my door. I sighed. Kyuhyun, please
No I understand, Kye Go do what you need to. Ill call you on Saturday. He dug
through his pocket and placed a little box by the counter near the door. Happy
Monthsary, by the way.
Kyuhyun stormed out of my apartment. I sighed, knowing that if I go after him now,
it will only make things worse. I took the box from the counter and opened it. Inside
was a charm, a pretty sparkling ball with blue gems in it my favorite color.
And then my messenger in the computer suddenly pinged. I checked it. There was a
message from Senior Management to rush the inspection of the reports. I slumped
back down on my chair and sighed. My head was beginning to ache. The fight with
Kyuhyun even worsened the stress I was having. Besides the work I had to do, I was
thinking about whether I should call Kyuhyun or not tonight. But I didnt. I figured he
was too angry to take it anyway.
I barely got any sleep so when I got to school, my head was spinning and my body
felt so weak. But despite feeling sick, I managed to ace my tests still. I still had
Kyuhyun in my head all the time, though. It was the first time Ive seen him angry at
me and I didnt like it. I love him very much and I dont want to see him upset. Ever.
So I knew I was wrong. I shouldve made time for him. I shouldve made time for
myself to monitor my health. But I didnt. I treated my body like a robot. I knew I
had to eat, I had to stop for a while and rest, I had to call Kyuhyunbut I didnt. I
chose not to. I was too absorbed with my fathers wishes that I forgot whats good
for me. Kyuhyun has been worrying about me ever since I started training for work
and I ignored it, thinking that I will be fine. Obviously now, I know that I am wrong.
The day after we fought, I had to stay for another two hours at school for contest
training. I was dizzy most of the time but still was able to answer all the questions
given to me. It was quite difficult though, with my head spinning and my thoughts
running to Kyuhyun every now and then.
As soon as we were done, I packed my things and called Mr. Fred to come pick me
up. I dont think I can walk back home in this condition, so it was better safe than
sorry. I took my things from the classroom, a quick trip to the lockers to leave some
of my books I do not plan to study tonight and headed out the gate. As always, Mr.
Fred was already waiting outside with the door of the car open for me. I made my
way there, slowly losing focus. I stumbled a little. Mr. Fred was already beside me
before I could hit the ground. I chuckled. Im fine, I lied.
Miss Park, would you like me to bring you to the hospital? I think youre running a
fever, he said.
No, no need. Just bring me home please, I said.
He reluctantly nodded and guided me in the car. He quickly hopped on and drove
away. I closed my eyes. My body felt hot and weak. My head is spinning faster than
a minute ago. He was right. I was sick. But I have to get home and work.
We arrived at my apartment in no time. Mr. Fred parked the car and followed me to
the elevator. He normally doesnt follow me up to my unit but I figured he was
worried I might collapse for real this time and there would be no one to help. The
elevator doors opened in my floor and I mustered up all my strength to walk a few
more meters to my unit. I took my steps slowly and one at a time, so as not to lose
grip on my consciousness.
A few meters away from my door, I could see a figure standing by it, waiting. It was
a man, tall and scrawny with jet black hair. Even from afar and even in this bad
condition, I could recognize who he is. I should, because he is the love of my life.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw him. My weak legs sprinted towards him. Kyu!
I called, crushing myself to him.
Kye? Kye! Oh my god! Youre burning! he muttered. I couldnt open my eyes
anymore. Everything felt like it was slipping away.
Sir, shes running a fever, I heard Fred say.
Kye, lets bring you to a hospital.
NO! I gritted and shook my head as I wrapped my arms around Kyuhyun tighter.
Youre not well, he said.
Please dont bring me, I sobbed. Even hearing the word hospital makes me
shudder.
Kyuhyun sighed. I heard him entering my passcode and opening the door. Come
on, lets get you inside, okay?
Okay, I agreed.
And then, as I took one step inside my house, everything blacked out and Kyuhyuns
worried voice slowly faded away as I found myself lying on the cold glassy floor.
I opened my eyes as I slowly regained consciousness. I was in my room. Still, my
body felt heavy but my head feels a little better now. I could feel something damp
perhaps a towel on my forehead. I tried to sit up.
Stay down, Kyuhyun pushed me back to the bed. His eyebrows were furrowed as
he wiped my arms with a cold wet towel. I watched him quietly as he rinsed the
towel in a basin and wiped my other arm.
Go on, I whispered. Get angry at me. Tell me you were right about everything.
He looked at me with his jaw clenched. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.
And make your condition worse? No, I wont.
My eyes felt watery again and my lips were pouting by themselves. Im sorry, Kyu.
Im so sorry The tears finally fell down my face.
Hey, shh shh dont, he shook his head as he wiped my tears.
Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry, I cried. I couldnt stop.
Shh.. Stop it. Its okay. Its okay. Im sorry, I was being too selfish too. Im sorry, I
shouldnt have yelled at you. I made you worse, he whispered while wiping.
Im really sorry, I said.
I know, Kyuhyun nodded. And I already forgave you for it. I cant stay mad at you
for too long. I love you.
I love you too, Kyu, I sobbed.
Hey, stop crying, he chuckled. Smile. He pushed the corners of my mouth up.
I laughed, finding warmth and comfort again from him. He cupped my face and
leaned in.
No, I whispered, covering my mouth. Not now. Im sick.
Kyuhyun smiled at me and took my hand away. I dont care, he said before
pressing his lips on mine.
My heart fluttered. My weak hands tingled and so I reached over for his face. And
that triggered him.
His hands crept to my waist, wrapping them around it. He climbed unto my bed and
straddled me, without our lips parting. He opened his mouth and licked my lips to
open mine. I shook my head.
Oppa
Trust me. Ill be fine, he whispered.
I reluctantly cave in. OH his tongue His tongue is always amazing. The kiss always
gets better when he adds some tongue into it. And I love it, very much. Only if I
werent sick right now, I wouldnt be holding back.
Kyuhyun looked into my eyes and brushed my hair back as our lips parted. Promise
me youll take a little rest once in a while, okay? Promise me.
I promise, I nodded.
He smiled at me. I love you.
I love you, I said back before pecking his lips. Can youuhm Can you stayfor
the night with me?
He chuckled. I was hoping youd say that, he said. Scoot a little, love.
He lay down beside me and tucked himself inside my blanket. He wrapped his arms
around me and hugged me tight.
Am I too warm for you? I asked.
He shook his head. Nah, I can handle it. He kissed the top of my head.
Have I told you how much I love your hugs? I said.
No, I believe you havent.
Well, now I know. Hey, by the way, wheres the charm I gave you?
Its there in the first drawer beside the bed, I replied.
He rolled around to get the box. Why didnt you wear it? he asked.
I wanted you to wear it on me.
He smiled so happily at me. He opened the box and hung the charm in my bracelet.
He held up my wrist. It looks really pretty now that it has a lot of charms, isnt it?
he said.
Yes, it does. Thank you, Kyu.
Shall I sing you a lullaby?

Yes, please.
Alright. When you wake up, youll be feeling a whole lot better. I promise.
Wait, before you sing, I said before kissing his lips quick.
You know that that wont help me concentrate at all, he smirked.
You pervert! Just sing me to sleep, will you? I chuckled.
Alright, alright. Kyuhyun breathed deeply and started singing. His voice is so
soothing and relaxing that it drifted me well to sleep.
It was already bright outside when I woke up. I was still wrapped in Kyuhyuns arms,
who was fast asleep. I softly kissed his cheek and he hugged me tighter, moaning
my name in his sleep. The corners of his lips went up in a soft smile.
I was feeling a whole lot better, just as he said. Still, my body felt a bit warm, but it
was a thousand times better than the day before. I know for a fact that resting
helped a lot but Id like to consider that his presence and knowing that he wasnt
mad at me anymore helped me get better as well.
I looked closely at Kyuhyuns face. He looked very peaceful. I loved his naturally
long and thick lashes. They were beautiful. I also love his sharp nose and his soft
lips. Those lips always have the capacity to make me feel better and make my heart
flutter. I love the mole right under his right eye, and thought how pretty it was and it
actually compliments his face.
Kyuhyun stirred a little and his pretty eyes slowly opened. Hey, he smiled wide at
me. Good morning. He softly kissed my lips.
Good morning, I greeted back.
His arms tightened around me and he narrowed his eyes. Dont you dare go to
school today.
I chuckled. I wont. I promise.
Good.
I do have one question, I said.
What is it? he asked, brushing his hand through his messy hair. He looked
extremely adorable.
How did you get me into these clothes? I asked.
Kyuhyuns face turned red. i uh
Did you
I had no choice! he said. Your uniform isnt comfortable enough for you to rest
in.
How much did you see?
I promise I tried my best not to look, Kyuhyun said.
But you did, I said, knowing him all too well.
Well, I mean how do you not? I had to change your clothes, he answered. Im
sorry.
Im not angry Surprisingly, I chuckled as I lightly touch his face. But I know
what youve been wanting
What do you mean?
Kyu, I feel it in the way you touch me in the way you kiss me and in the way you
pull me close I whispered.
He looked at me and sighed. Im sorry
I shook my head. Its pretty normal for guys your age. You shouldnt apologize.
But Kyu Im not I cant Im not ready for that.
He smiled softly at me. I know, he whispered before kissing my lips and brushing
my hair. Dont worry. Ill wait.
Thank you I said, pressing my head on his chest. I love you, Kyu And its not
like I dont want to do it

Hey, hey. I get it, he said. And I told you, Ill wait.
I looked at him and smiled. I promise, Ill tell you at once if Im ready.
He laughed. Okay.
Do you have a schedule today? I asked.
He looked at his watch and jumped up. Oh crap! he cursed. He stood up. Im
sorry. I have to go.
I nodded. Okay. Take care, alright?
I will. Dont forget to eat, he instructed.
May I work? I asked.
Hmm He thought for a while. If you feel better, then fine. But only if you feel
better.
Okay, I nodded.
Alright. I have to go. I love you, he muttered before leaning in and giving me a
deep kiss.
I love you too.
Kyuhyun ran out of the apartment, obviously late for his schedule.
I stood up carefully and headed for the bathroom. I suddenly heard my door open
and in came Kyuhyun. I forgot something, he muttered before charging towards
me and kissing my lips. I love you.
I thought you had work, I chuckled.
Im being romantic here, he complained.
Go, Kyu, I scolded him with a light chuckle.
Fine. Fine. Oh! One more thing. Ill be doing a radio broadcast later with the
hyungs, he said.
Ill make sure to listen, I smiled. Besides, you know how much I love to hear you
sing, so make sure you do.
Of course. Of course. I love you.
I know, I nodded. I love you too.
Alright, I should go, he said.
Yeah you should, I laughed.
Im so happy I met you. I will never ever leave you, he said before kissing me one
last time.
You better not, I said and pecked his lips. now go. Youre already late.
Ill see you in a few, okay? Bye~
bye.
I went to the bathroom and took a nice long bath, just to put my temperature down.
It was actually nice. I ate breakfast, and lunch, as I promised Kyu. I did work and ran
some reports, but I made sure I was feeling absolutely fine and didnt stress myself.
I turned the radio on when his broadcast started.
Kyuhyuns voice is music to me. It always has been. Even when hes not singing, it
sounds really good. And even through the radio, his voice relaxes me. His tiny and
shy chuckles are contagious. His soft and low voice when he speaks over the
microphone warms up my heart.
He called me after the broadcast. Hello, he said happily over the line.

Hey, you were great today, I said.

You listened? he asked.
I told you I would, I said.
He chuckled. Thanks.
Where are you off to now? I asked.
To another schedule, he replied. Did you work today?
Yeah, a little. Just ran some reports. But Im feeling fine, I said.
Okay, thats good. Get some rest, okay?
Im planning to after this call, actually, I told him.
Oh really? Thats great. I wont keep this long, then, he said. I love you, Kye.
Sweet dreams.
I love you, too. Be safe, okay?
I will, he chuckled. Bye.
Bye.
I hang up and put my phone on top of the bedside table. I tucked myself in and
hugged a pillow, slowly drifting off to sleep. Little did I know that I shouldnt have
slept early.
I was woken up with my ringing phone at the middle of the night. It was around two
in the morning. I turned my lamp on and answered.
Hello?
Hello? Kye? Kye? It was Siwon who was speaking.
Oh, oppa Hi, I said, sitting up.
Oh God, Kye he said. His voice was filled with panic. My heart jumped.
Whats wrong? I asked worriedly.
Kye Its Kyu he said.
And at the moment he said Kyuhyuns name, my whole body went cold. What?
What happened oppa?!
Kyu They got into an accident Its pretty bad I could hear him crying.
Tears stung my eyes. I jumped from my bed, and opened my cabinet to change my
clothes quick. Where is he? Which hospital? I asked, panicking.
Seoul Doctors, he replied. Kye, please. Hurry. Kye, I dont know what to do. Hes
in such a bad shape
Im on my way. Im on my way
My tears wouldnt stop falling. I quickly slipped on my pants and wore whichever
shirt I found and put on my jacket. I immediately called Mr. Fred to come pick me up
and he did in no time. Worried to see me like this, he drove fast to the hospital,
almost breaking the traffic rules as he go.
I rush through the doors of the hospital and found Siwon, Heechul, Donghae and
some other members as well as managers waiting outside the emergency room.
Seeing their helpless faces, I couldnt just stand there. I ran towards the emergency
room, desperate to see Kyuhyun. Heechul caught me and pulled me aside.
What happened? How is he? I cried.
We still dont know, he replied in a whisper.
Let me in. Let me see him. He must be in so much pain. Please. Let me talk to
him, I begged.
Siwon stepped in and helped Heechul calm me down. Kye All we can do now is
wait.
I shook my head, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall as I wailed. No! I
want to see him!
Donghae came forward and patted my back. Theyre doing their best, Kye.
My knees buckled and I felt weak. I sat on the floor, crying hysterically. My heart
ached so much. Why? Why did it have to happen now? We were so happy just a few
hours ago Why?
I havent mentioned how much I hated the hospital. Any hospital, in fact. I hate the
smell. I hate the white walls. I hate hearing the sound of a heart rate monitor. When
my parents got into the accident, I stayed a lot inside those white walls. My father
didnt make it before he got into the hospital, but my mom was in critical condition
when she was brought there. She was barely hanging on. She was in the ICU for
nearly three days but I cant even go inside her room and be beside her. I saw her
suffering, especially the times when her heart fails and the doctors come rushing to
revive her. It was a time that I was hoping for a miracle, but it never came. Ever
since then, I hated the hospital. It is such a dark and sad place to me. When I get
sick, I beg my brother to bring me to an independent clinic rather than a hospital.
Its less scary there.
Rushing in where Kyuhyun is, it felt almost the same as before. But now, I felt even
worse. Probably because I am more able to comprehend things now and that I can
see a lot of different possible futures happening, the good and the bad. But I felt like
myself again, all those years ago. I felt lost and weak that I dont know what I would
do if things go bad.
His surgery took hours to finish. He was in the emergency room for almost half a
day. I didnt leave the hospital. I was there, in the waiting room, praying that he will
make it through. Siwon was beside me, holding my hands as he joined me in prayer,
and Kyuhyuns mom sat at the other side. She comforted me as I counted every
excruciating second that passed by. When the doctor came out, all of us stood and
huddled over him.
Hes alive, he said.
Oh thank God! Siwon exclaimed.
But he isnt safe yet, he sighed. He has a lot of broken bones, and some of his
fractured ribs pierced through his lungs. We need to operate on him, but it has to
pass through his throat. He may never be able to sing again.
Hearing those words from the doctor made my whole body cold, almost losing my
soul. I shook my head. No no you cant do that you cant take that away from
him! I cried. Kyuhyuns mom embraced me.
Isnt there another way? Kyuhyuns father asked. The kids voice is like a jewel to
many people. It would kill him if he couldnt sing anymore.
The doctor sighed. We dont see any other way here, Mr. Cho. Im sorry.
No! Ill find another way, he said.
We need to operate him again in three hours, the doctor said. If there cant be
any other way but we have no choice but to do the surgery. It will either be his
voice, or his life, Mr. Cho.
Kyuhyuns mom brought me to the benches and calmed me down. Aboji, you cant
let him do it, I begged. Please. Kyuhyun loves singing.
I know, he nodded. Ill contact my friends if they know anything.
Ill help too. My father has a lot of contacts, Siwon said, grabbing his phone.
Kyuhyuns father was on the phone for long and every time he would put it down, I
could see it in his face that he was getting more and more frustrated. Kyuhyuns
mother, on the other hand, continued to comfort me.
Itll be fine, she whispered. Hes strong. And he knows that he has to be strong
for the people he loves. Especially you. So, in turn, you should also be strong for
him.
Eomoni, Im so scared, I whispered.
We all are, she said.
Yes! Yes! Thank you! Kyuhyuns father exclaimed. I found a doctor. He knows
another way. We can save him. Kyesin, we can save him.
Really? I asked. Who is he?
Hes a Chinese doctor recommended to me by a colleague. I already called him up
and hes willing to help, he replied.
Is he in China, aboji? I asked.
Yes, hes on the way to the airport now, he said.
But that would take a few hours, right? Whens the next flight?
His fathers face turned grim. I dont know.
I breathed deeply and thought out a plan. My jet Tell him to take my fathers
jet I replied.
Kyesin
Please, Mr. Cho. He has to live. He has to sing again, I begged.
Thank you, he nodded. Where should I tell him to go.
To the airport, I said. Please tell him to ask for the private airfield and say my
name. Ill arrange everything for him.
Alright. Thank you, Kyesin.
I took out my phone and dialed my brothers number. hello? Hello, James?
Kye? Whats wrong? he asked. He knew me well enough to hear the panic in my
voice.
Its Kyuhyun, James I started to break down into tears again.
What happened? he asked.
Car accident you sobbed. Its bad, james really bad
alright, what can I do?
Dads jet in China, may I borrow it? We need this doctor in China that can help save
Kyuhyun, I explained.
Alright, give me his name and then leave it all to me. Ill get the jet ready so that
when he arrives, were all ready for take-off, he said.
Thank you, James. Thank you, I said.
Kye, itll be alright. Hang in there, okay? If you need any more help, dont hesitate
to call me. I love you, okay? Itll be fine, he said.
Thanks, James. I replied. I love you too.
I put the phone down and ran out the hospital. Mr. Fred was waiting outside by the
car. Miss Park, he quickly came running towards me.
Fred, I need your help. Can you pick someone up from the airport? Hes taking
dads jet. Hes a doctor and he can help save Kyuhyun, I said.
Of course, Miss Park. Ill go there right now. Well be back as fast as we could, he
said before running back to the car and driving off.
I waited nervously. The members look tired. His family were too. Siwon was praying
all the time. The members took turns waiting with me. Those who had schedules
and things to do left, and doesnt who didnt stayed. Siwon and Donghae stayed the
longest, the two members whom I personally think loved Kyuhyun the most.
Thankfully after around two excruciating hours of waiting, the doctor arrived. He
immediately talked to the doctor in charge and a few x-rays and tests later, he took
Kyuhyun into surgery again.
And then, it was a whole new round of waiting again. I waited and prayed over and
over. His parents were telling me to get some sleep and to eat. But I didnt want to
leave since something might happen.
The doctor came out of the operating room a few hours, tired. He didnt have a
good look on his face. I rushed to his side.
Doc, how is he? I asked. Kyuhyuns parents and the other members stood behind
me.
Hes hes good were taking him to the ICU for recovery now, he said.
Oh thank you God. Thank you, doc, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Miss, the surgery is one thing. All I did was to fix him up, and help him breathe.
Recovery is the thing were still worried about here. Theres still a big chance things
may turn south from here, he said.
How long til hes safe? Kyuhyuns mother asked.
Its hard to tell. It could be days, even weeks, he answered. All we can do now is
wait and hope for the best.
Can I see him? I asked.
The doctor winced. The ICU its restricted for now. You must wait for a couple of
hours after surgery before you get in. Hospital rules. And unfortunately, its also
restricted among immediate family members only.
But
Shes with us, Kyuhyuns mother said, holding my shoulders. Is it possible to
have her waived?
The doctor nodded. Yes, of course. Please talk to the reception.
Thank you, I told his mother.
Of course, Kye. Of course, she smiled.
And then, another waiting game. My hate for hospitals grew and grew more each
hour that passed. I hate this smell. I hate the white walls. I hate seeing those white
lab gowns. All this place does is bring sadness to people.
When the three hours was over, Kyuhyuns mother and I stood up, ready to go in.
They let us wear protective sanitized clothes before getting in. His mother opened
the door and just when I was about to get in, a pair of hands held me back.
We cant let you in, the manager said.
What? Why? I have clearance, I said.
Im sorry, Kyesin. Look, Im really fond of you and Kyu, and I know you love him
but
But?
but Lee seonsaengnim asked us not to.
Why not? I asked.
The press has a way, Kyesin. Reporters are literally everywhere in this hospital.
Theyre going to know. It wont end well for any of you if we let you in. Its going to
ruin him, he said. You wouldnt want that, would you?
But I have to see him I started crying again.
Im sorry, Kyesin. He said, pulling me away.
I cried, defeated. Kyuhyuns mother looked at me. Ill take care of him for you. Take
some rest and eat something, Kyesin, she said.
I sat back down defeated, placed my feet up and and put my head on top of my
knees. Heechul was beside me, patting my back.
And it became like a routine every day: I leave the hospital for an hour to take a
bath and change my clothes, and then wait all day outside his room for any
updates. His parents would tell me hes hanging on. The members would buy me
food and force me to eat them. And then the waiting game restarts.
They move Kyuhyun to a private room a couple of days after. The doctor said he
was already doing great and could support breathing on his own. Still, I wasnt
allowed to see him. The members were, though. And I envied all of them. But I
stayed outside as always. I wanted to be there. It didnt matter if I had to skip
classes. As long as I was near him.
A few days later, he finally woke up. He asked to see me, but still, I wasnt allowed
inside. There were managers guarding the door 24/7. I couldnt sneak in or buy my
way through.
Then, one day, Heechul caught me as I arrived at the Kyuhyuns floor. He pulled me
to a cleaning cabinet and pushed me inside.
Listen to me, he said. Be quiet. Dont come out until I tell you to, okay? I nodded
and did as he said.
Hyung! I heard Heechul call from the hallway. Is Kyu awake?
Yeah, I think so, the manager replied.
Alright, Ill go in. It was silent for about two minutes before I heard Heechul talk
again. Hyung, Kyu said he wants orange juice. Can you buy one from him?
I cant leave my post, the manager said.
Hyung, he really wants one now. Look, it will only take 5 minutes. Ill be right here.
It became silent again for seconds. The cabinet opened and Heechul pulled me out,
running to Kyuhyuns room. You only have a few minutes, Kye. Make it count, he
said.
Thank you! I said before entering Kyuhyuns room. I closed the door behind me.
Kyesin? Kyuhyuns velvet voice echoed throughout the room. I felt my knees
buckle and my heart throb. His precious voice
Kyuhyun I whispered, slowly making my way to his bed.
Tears automatically fell from my eyes as soon as I saw him and the state he was in.
He was bruised and scarred all over. He was wrapped in bandages and needles were
sticking out of his pretty hand. I couldnt help but break down and cry.
Hey, hey He crooned, reaching for me.
I stood by his side. Im so sorry, Kyuhyun. Im so sorry.
He chuckled at me and wiped my tears with his thumbs. Why are you sorry? Kye,
youve been keeping me strong all this time. I fought the pain for you. So stop
crying, love.
I wish I wish I can do something. I wish I can help you bear the pain youre
feeling I cried.
You already are, he smiled. He pulled my head down and kissed me. My heart
thumped hard and my spine tingled. I miss the taste of his lips. I miss the way he
holds me. I miss it all.
I love you so much, I whispered.
I love you too, he smiled. Do you really want to help me feel better?
I nodded. Yes, of course.
Then go home, Kye. Get some rest. Eat. Go to school and attend class. You dont
look fine anymore. Youre so pale and you grew so thin! Eomma says you barely go
home and you stay outside my door ever since I got admitted. Heechul hyung says
you wont eat either. Kye, you have to take care of yourself too. You promised me,
remember?
But I wanna be with you, I whispered as I sobbed.
Im not going anywhere, Kye. I promise. Im doing great and Im feeling better each
day. I know how much you hate hospitals and you probably dont want to be here.
So, go home. Dont ever come here again. Ill call you instead. You cant go in my
room anyway, so my voice will suffice for now. I promise, Ill come by your place
once I get out.

But Kyu

Shh Listen to me and do as I say. You have to go to school and attend your
classes, Kye. Dont ruin your life because of one simple accident, he told me.

Simple Accident? Nothing about this is simple, Kyu! I couldve lost you! I was so
scared. I couldve lost you!
But Im alright now, arent I? So go home, take some rest and eat well. Promise me,
Kye, he said, looking into my eyes.

Okay, I promise, I sobbed.

He smiled at me and brushed my hair back. Thats my girl, he smiled wide.

I miss you, I whispered.

Come here, said as he tried to move his body.

No, Kyu, dont, I told him.

But he didnt listen. He winced and groaned as he scooted over to the side. He then
patted on the space he made beside him. Come, I want to hug you.

I lay down beside him. He carefully put my arms around me, wincing in pain in the
process. I teared up again, relieved to finally get a hold of him. I love you, I said
before kissing his lips.

Kyuhyun hugged me tighter. I love you, too. I love you. Thank you for being here,
he said before kissing me. Oh God, I miss you, he whispered.

Oh hyung! Back so soon? Kyuhyun Kyuhyuns...uhm Feeling a bit down right

now so we should just leave him alone, I heard Heechul say from outside.

Whos inside Heechul? The manager asked. Kyuhyun wrapped his arm around me
tighter.

N-n-no one! Heechul replied.

I have to go, i whispered to Kyuhyun. He looked at me with sad eyes and

reluctantly nodded. I stood up from his bed.

Get out of the way, Heechul.

The door opened and in came the manager. He gripped my wrist and pulled me out.

Wait! Just a few more minutes, please, Kyuhyun begged.

Sorry Kyu, the manager said.

I love you, Kye! Remember your promise! Ill see you soon, kyuhyun shouted
before I was fully out.

You two are banned from coming here, you understand? The manager said,
pissed.
Even me? Heechul asked.

Yes, even you.

I sighed. Im sorry, oppa.

Heechul shook his head at me and smiled. Dont be. I know it was worth it, am I
right?

I nodded. Thank you. He asked me not to come here anymore, i said.

Alright. Ill take you home.

I did as Kyuhyun said. I took a rest, ate and went to school as if nothing had
happened. My life became a routine again. I would wake up, go to school, drop by
his house to help out with whatever his mother needs like cooking food for him or
washing dishes - anything, head home, eat dinner, work and then study while
waiting for my phone to ring. He would call me at night like he always did before, to
check on me, if I was holding up my promise. Each day I look forward to his call,
feeling nervous that something would happen during the hours before he would
normally talk to me, but relieved when he finally does. Each day I could hear the
changes in his voice, how it slowly went back to his beautiful warm velvet voice,
and I knew he was healing well. Each day he would ask what I did for that day, from
the moment I wake up, and he would tell me the progress of his health and
rehabilitation. He sounded so happy when he could finally sit up on his own and
when he could stand again, telling me that hes doing his best so that I could see
him sooner. I nearly cried those days, but I held it in, knowing that him hearing me
so weak wouldnt help at all. I miss him dearly, though. I did not see him for months.

One night, he called unusually early.

Hi, love, he said over the phone.

Hi, i giggled. Youre calling early.

Yeah, they have to do some tests on me later so I have to speak to you earlier than
usual, he said.

Tests? I asked.

Yeah, but dont worry. They just want to know if Im ready to go out, he said.

So youll be out soon?

Yes, I hope so, he said.

thats great news, Kyu. I cant wait to see you, I said.

I then heard a knock on the door. I opened it to look who was outside. I nearly
dropped my phone when I saw who it was.

Kyuhyun was standing outside my door with his phone to his ear and a bouquet in
his other hand. And I cant wait to see you too, Kye, he said with a longing smile.

I threw my arms around him, tearing up. Is this is this for real? What Am I
dreaming?

He chuckled by my ear and hugged me. This is very real, Kye. Oh I almost forgot
how good you smell, he whispered. Let me look at you.

He cupped my face and looked at me. Kyuhyun. I sobbed.

Shhh He shushed, wiping my tears with his thumbs. I miss you.

He tilted my head up and pressed his lips against mine. He was pretty soft at first
but slowly he became aggressive. He pushed me in my apartment and locked the
door behind him.

I love you, I muttered against his lips when we parted.

He smiled at me. I love you too, he said. These are for you, by the way. He
handed me the bouquet of roses.

Thank you, I smiled. I took his hand and pulled him inside. Have you eaten?

He shook his head and smiled. No not yet.

Great. I just cooked some pasta, would that be okay? I asked.

Its perfect, Kyuhyun said, wrapping his arms behind me and kissing my neck.

Want to help me out here, love? I chuckled. You can go choose the wine.

No way. Really?

Yeah, sure, I said.

He went to the cabinet and opened it. Which one tastes best, Kye?

I wont tell you, I laughed and placed the plates of pasta in the dining table.

Okay, whats a Merlot?

Merlots are generally sweeter than Cabernets, I replied.

Hmm okay these then. Is there a difference among countries of origin? He asked.
Of course, I nodded.

Hmmm Is Chile good?

Excellent, I smiled.

He put the bottle of wine in the ice bucket. And we sat down on the dining area and
Kyuhyun held my hand. Thank you for keeping your promise. So now, its my turn
to hold up my promise.

Whats that? i asked.

He took a box out of his pocket. I stopped by somewhere else before going here. I
hope this will make up for all this missed monthsaries, he said, opening the box
and showing off a crystal shaped heart pendant inside a silver casing.

Aw, Kyuhyun, its beautiful. Thank you.

Would you like me to put it on you? He asked.

Yes please, I nodded, giving out my arm. Hey Kyu.

Yeah? He looked briefly at me and smiled as he attached the charm.

This charm It isnt about the missed monthsaries to me, I said.

What is it to you then? He asked with a smile as he took my hand in his.

Its about us, surviving these hard times. And its about you, being alive. Youre a
miracle, Kyu, I said.

He kissed my hand. Well then, as long as you like it, then thats perfect.

will you Can you stay over...for tonight? I asked shyly.

He chuckled. I was actually hoping youd say that, he said. Of course, I can.
Anything for you.

I shyly went out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower. Kyuhyun was sitting on
my bed, waiting. He bit his lip as soon as he saw me and opened his arms. I crawled
to him and embraced him, tucking my head in his chest.

You smell so good And youre making it hard for me to behave with what youre
wearing right now, he said.

I chuckled. But I know you will.

He tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. I will because I love
you.

I turned the light off from the bedside lamp and cuddled in his chest. Can you
sing?

Yes, thanks to you, he said.

Who told you?

Appa, he smiled. And eomma, and the members. Practically everyone. You saved
me, Kyesin.

So the surgery didnt have any effect on your voice? I asked.

It didnt, but I still need to work on my breathing. I still have to rehabilitate my

lungs, he explained. But if its just a simple lullaby, then it should be fine. What do
you want me to sing?

Do you know Two People by Sung Si Kyung?

Of course, he laughed. Great choice. Good night, my Kyesin.

I closed my eyes and let his velvet voice engulf me to sleep.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by a pair of lips grazing my neck.
Kyuhyuns arms loosened their grip on me and he climbed on top.

Kyu? I whispered, barely able to open my eyes.

I miss you, he whispered. He pressed his lips on mine so sweetly. So much.

I knot my fingers in his messy hair and pulled him closer to me. I could taste the
eagerness in his lips. His hands crawled down my body, hungrily tugging on my
clothes. I knew then what he wanted. Hes been wanting it for a long time now, and
he has been really patient about it. He knows that I wasnt ready then.

But weirdly enough, I dont feel anything right now to resist him. All those time
weve spent apart made me like this. I wanted him too. I wanted him to hold me
tight. I wanted him to kiss me in places he has never before. I wanted him - bad.

I found the hem of his shirt and tugged it up, off of him. Its my first time to see his
bare body. He is so white and fair. He was skinny so he had a flat stomach. But the
scars. The scars from the accident They ruined his beautiful skin. With my
fingers, I lightly traced them.
Does it hurt? I asked.

Not when you touch them, he whispered with a smile and kissed my cheek.

Lie on your back, I said.

Why?

Just do it, I said.

He did as told. I carefully placed my lips on his scars, kissing them one by one.
Kyuhyun brushed my hair and smiled at me.

Thank you. It isnt a very nice thing to look at, is it? He chuckled.

I shook my head and climbed on top of him. I cupped his face between my hands.
You will always be beautiful to me.

He sat up and kissed me intensely. All I could hear now are our lips smacking and
tongues clucking and occasional moans. And I liked it.

I then started to feel something forming in his pants, and his moans started coming
more frequently. His hands grasped me tight. He wanted me, but he wasnt making
any move about it.

I decided to take things on my own. I took my hands off him to unbutton my

pyjama. But I have only successfully unbutton three when his hands caught mine.

Kye, he breathed, looking at me.

What? Dont you want me? I said.

I do. So much. believe me.

Then why did you stop me? I want you too, Kyu.

Kye, I dont want you to force yourself for my sake, he whispered, brushing my
hair back with his fingers.

Im not, i shook my head. Im ready.

Are you serious? He asked with a smile.

Yes, I nodded.

He chuckled, such a heavenly sound, and then smiled at me. Thank you, love.
But...not now, he told me with a light kiss.

Why? I asked.
Because one, I want it to be special. Not just in your room, in the heat of the
moment. Kye, this is something big and youll definitely remember this for the rest
of your life. Our life. So, I dont want your first to be just in your room. And two, I
want you to be really ready, he answered.

But I am, I argued.

Maybe you are, he said. But it wouldnt hurt to wait for a couple more weeks,
would it? Lets make a plan - have a vacation next month, on our anniversary. That
way, it would even be more special and you have more time to fully ready yourself.
Is that fine with you?

Why are you such a gentleman, I said, embracing him tight. Okay, Kyuhyun. Im
already looking forward to it.

He chuckled. Me too. I really do want you, Kyesin. But Ill wait, no matter how long
it takes.

Have you done it before? I asked in a small voice as I hid my face in his shoulders.

He laughed and kissed my cheek. Youre my first girlfriend, Kye.

A sense of happiness washed through me. You never know what kids are up to
these days, I joked.

Youre my first everything. My first girlfriend. My first hug. My first kiss. My first
person to sleep beside with. My first love. And soon...theres gonna be another
first, he said.

Youre mine too, I told him.

He kissed the top of my head. Im really excited about it, Kye. But why All of the
sudden?

The thought of almost losing you I couldnt bear it, I replied. So now, I want to
give you everything you want and deserve.

kyuhyun cupped my face and kissed my lips passionately. Thank you. And I love
you so much.

I love you too.

I counted down every day to the big event. Kyuhyun had arranged a special
getaway for both of us on the weekend of our first anniversary. I was nervous as
hell. But at the same time, I was looking forward to it, curious on how it would
actually feel. As a person who has barely any experience before on this romance
thing, I tried reading up on the topic on how to satisfy your partner. I didnt want his
or my first to be a terrible experience. But no matter how hard I tried studying about
it, I just couldnt get all of it. So I did the one thing I could obviously do: buy some
lingerie.

I dont even know where to begin in describing how awkward it was to get in the
mall and look at tiny pieces of shiny overpriced pieces of cloth and string. There
were so many different kinds in different colors. There were lace, corsets, garters
There were a whole lot of revealing and sexy ones but I chose the lingerie that was
the second most conservative to me. They call it the babydoll. Its basically a loose
and short nightgown, cut somewhere by my hips. It has a bra-like top, with the rest
of the nightgown in translucent fabric that I believe to be silk. And by translucent,
then I mean, yes, see through.

He hasnt told me where were going and I loved it that way. I want to be surprised.
So, after my Saturday class, or more accurately, Saturday Math olympiad training, I
went straight home. I packed my things and waited for Kyuhyun to arrive and picked
me up.

When the bell rang in my room, my heart jumped and it was racing. I looked at the
mirror, straightened myself up and breathed deeply. I grabbed my luggage and
opened the door.

Kyuhyun looked gorgeous by my doorstep in his aviators and his wide, excited
smile.

Oh lord, you look so beautiful, he said before attacking my lips. Ready?

I nodded my head and linked my fingers with his. Kyuhyun took my luggage bag and
led me down the building. There was a cab waiting for us outside. At this point of
time, Kyuhyun wasnt that popular as he is now. With the little schedule he gets due
to joining the team early, and for the recent accident, he wasnt easily recognized in
the streets yet, so it was easier for us to get out.

We went to the ferry station and waited for our ship for an hour or so. We rode on it
and the ship started sailing. Are we going to Jeju island? I asked.

He nodded. Yes, is that okay?

Its perfect, I smiled.

Sorry if were just taking the ferry. Its a bit slower than the plane but I promise,
when I can afford-

Its fine, love. But I told you, if you would just let me-

He shook his head. No. I dont want you to pay for anything. Youre already giving
me everything. I want to do this for us. Besides, it feels great to spend your hard
earned money for someone you love. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
I laced my fingers with his. I love you.

We arrived in the island at around six in the evening. We ate dinner first since
Kyuhyun said it would be quite a long drive from the port to the lodge. We took a
cab after having a scrumptious meal and went on.

We arrived at the lodge at around half past nine. It was off the city and is located by
the forest. It wasnt popular, so it didnt have many guests. In fact, I think it was
only me and Kyuhyun that night. It wasnt peak season after all. But the lodge was
very cozy and quite intimate. The staff are very hospitable and the room is clean.

The room. As Ive said, it was very cozy. I loved it. There was a king sized bed in the
middle of the room with clean white linens. The furniture were nice and fit for the
room. It wasnt a very big room, but it is beautiful.

This is the best room they have. Do you like it? I'm sorry this lodge is too far off the
city. I know its not the best--

I put my arms around him. Why are you saying that? This is perfect. i love it very
much. Thank you, Kyuhyun.

Do you really? Im so glad to hear that. This place isnt very popular but its great.
So Uhm Why dont you go freshen up and Ill get us settled in, he smiled.

Okay, I smiled. I tipped my toes to kiss him. Ill go take a bath.

I took my luggage bag, and got my bathroom essentials, as well as the newly
bought lingerie. I stepped into the bathroom. It was quite small but its fine. I took a
dip in the tub. The water is nice and warm, relaxing my muscles and calming my
mind.

I stepped out of the tub, dried my hair and put on the lingerie I just bought. I looked
at myself in the mirror. I wasnt having second thoughts anymore. Sure, I was
nervous as hell but I already had my heart set into it. I took one deep breath before
turning the knob.

The room was now dimly lit by small scented candles at the bedside tables that fill
the air with a beautiful lavender smell. Kyuhyun, who wore a pair of sexy blue
pyjamas, was on the bed, staring up at the ceiling when he turned to look at me.

Oh wow, he muttered, sitting up and eyes popping wide open.

I blushed and slowly made my way to the bed. Kyuhyun tackled me down and went
on top of me as soon as I reach the bed.

Hi, I breathed with a smile as I stared at his hungry eyes.

When did you get this? He asked, eyeing the lingerie.

I bought it a couple of days back, I whispered.

You bought it for me?

Yeah, I nodded. Do you Do you like it?

Lets just say Im disappointed that Ill only be taking these off in a couple of
minutes, he smirked. But if youre worried about me finding you attractive in this,
then let me tell you He leaned in and placed his lips beside my ear. You are
making it so hard for me to think clearly right now.

I felt my cheeks burn. Kyuhyun cupped my face and kissed me deep. I love you, i
muttered against his lips.

He kissed me once again, deeper this time, as he wrapped his arms around my
waist and pulled me close. I could feel the bulge that has formed in his pyjamas as
he pressed his hips against mine. I knot my fingers in his hair and he naughtily
licked my lips open to play with my tongue.

I love you, he said, out of breath.

His lips grazed down to my neck, kissing every bit of skin as he went down to my
chest.

I wouldnt expound on this now but all of you reading must already know what
happened between us that night. Til now I still dont have enough appropriate words
to describe how we felt that night. It was just amazing. Everything was. From the
way he held me and caressed my body to the way he kissed my lips and thrusted in
me. He was very gentle yet very passionate that what we did wasnt just simply
sex in my definition but an act of making love to each other. And what he did after
was sweet. He pulled me to his embrace and let me sleep on his then simple chest
and sang me a song til I drifted to sleep. To put it simply, that night was the best
night of my life, even to this day.

But little did I know things would begin to go downhill after that.

After our night together, my life resumed. I was back as the busy bee, balancing my
studies, my work and Kyuhyun. He would, more often than not, come by my
apartment to spend his free time with me, whether it was with just a simple dinner
or as extreme as doing it in my bedroom. He has, in fact, slept over a couple of
times in my place for the past month.

But things started to change. He became busier, finally having schedules like radio
guestings and a couple of variety shows to guest at. I was proud of him for that. I
didnt complain that he was spending less time with me to pursue his career. Seeing
him so happy about it as he tells me stories absolutely warms my heart and I want
nothing more than letting the whole world know his voice. I was very supportive of
him.

One day, he told me that there was a new member joining the team. The group has
already wholeheartedly accepted Kyuhyun and has been taking care of him well
ever since the accident. But this new member, as Kyuhyun said, wasnt Korean and
he told me that the guy speaks English well. With them having a hard time
communicating with him, he asked me to help them.

And so I met Henry. Other fans dont know this, but Henry was really supposed to be
a member of Super Junior and no subgroup was to be formed. He had already shot
group pictures for Marry U when some fans started the Only 13 campaign. He was
forced out of the group by the management and he was devastated.

Despite the drastic turn of events, he was still promised to have a debut because of
his talents, hence the Chinese sub group. But Henry has always been optimistic. So
while the group was out with schedules and variety show filming, Henry was stuck
at their dorm to learn Korean and I helped him with that.

In all honesty, I became close to Henry much faster than I did with the other
members since we have so much in common. He speaks English and knows a whole
bunch of instruments, and was a classical music nut. He felt like the little brother I
never had, even though he was older than me. So, from time to time, I would stop
by their dorm to teach Henry. Supposedly, we were to speak Korean only and the
only time he can speak English is when he doesnt understand a word. But he was
adorably stubborn and he would insist on speaking english when his hyungs are
gone. So I told him that he could speak English but I will only speak Korean to widen
his hearing skills. He was a fast learner. So while we played video games or practice
music, we conversed that way and soon enough, he was speaking Straight Korean
himself.

It became like this eveyday: Henry and I would meet up after school, anywhere he
fancies, til Kyuhyun arrives from his schedules, and I would help him with his
Korean. I usually bring my laptop with me so I could do work while we hung out.

One night, Henry went by my apartment to play violin and piano since, according to
him, the dorm still hasnt been soundproofed yet and there was no way they could
fit a grand piano inside. He stayed at my music room and played Chopins pieces,
his favorite composer, by the way, beautifully, while I worked in my bedroom. It was
quite relaxing, to be honest, to hear the gentle melodies echo throughout the
apartment.

But then, the music suddenly stopped. I waited for a couple of seconds, thinking
perhaps henry just forgot the next bars but nothing came out of the music room
anymore. I stood from my desk and went out of the bedroom to check on him.

And then I saw Kyuhyun at the corridor. His face was grim and his arms were
crossed against his chest. henry came out of the music room with his backpack on
and a confused expression in his face.
Bye, Kye. Thanks for letting me play, he said with a hesitant smile before leaving
my apartment.

Kyu, is everything okay? I asked, walking towards him.

He glared at me and my body shivered. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to

my bedroom. We need to talk.

About what? I asked as I watched him close the door and lock it.

Just tell it to me straight, Kyesin. My head and heart hurt already so just Dont
beat around the bush anymore, he said. His whole face was stiff. He breathed
deeply before continuing. Do you still love me?

I chuckled, taken surprise by his question. Of course, I do, you idiot.

He grabbed my shoulders. Dont lie to me, Kyesin, he said. The anger in his eyes
are now mixed with despair.

Im not!!! I pressed. Kyuhyun, how could you even think like that?

Because you keep spending time with henry! He shouted at me.

My eyes widened. No, no, no, love. Its not like that, I said, reaching for his face to
soothe him.

But Kyuhyun jerked away. I saw how you two are. Dont tell me theres nothing
going on between the two of you when you sit so close like that!

I shook my head. Kyuhyun, believe me. There really is nothing. Hes like...a little
brother to me. No more than that!

Then why do you keep meeting up? You meet him even more than me! I was
looking forward to see you today but I arrive just to find out that hes here, in your
apartment! He shouted.

I thought you asked me to help him with his Korean?! I rebut.

So its my fault then? Its my fault why you fell out of love for me?! He shouted.
His eyes have turned watery already.

For the nth time, I still love you! And I didnt say that! I never cheated on you! He
means nothing to me compared to how much you mean to me! I shouted back at
him.

Then why dont you stay away from him! You clearly know you have a boyfriend!
You shouldve kept your distance! He scolded me.
Im sorry, okay? Im sorry. I didnt know that it was too much for you! If you just
told me and not kept it in, then I wouldve kept my distance, I answered.

Kyuhyun looked at me with his watery eyes and shook his head. I need some air.

He opened the door and went out of the bedroom. I ran to him and grabbed his
hand. Dont walk out on me, I said.

He turned to me. I need to think, Kye.

Think about what? I asked, devastated. For the first time in my life, I felt
completely helpless.

About you, he replied.

Kyuhyun, I told you the whole truth, I said, sobbing. Kyuhyun, please.

Just Just I just love you so much, okay? So much. But I need to clear my head.
He walked out of my apartment.

My heart just sank hearing those words come out of his mouth. My knees buckled
and I fell on the floor, tears streaming down my face.

I love you I muttered in between broken sobs.

I tried to call him the next day to apologize and tell him over and over that I really
love him but he didnt answer. Henry also came over that day, feeling a bit
confused. I told him it isnt a good time and I cant have him over, not wanting to
aggravate the situation.

Whats wrong, Kye? You look terrible! I mean, not ugly terrible, but-- He asked me.

Im sorry but Its important that we spend less time together. Look, Henry, I really
like you but in a very platonic way. I mean, youre my best friend!

I know, I know. Youre my best friend too, Kye, he chuckled. But why are you
saying this to me? Did you guys have a fight yesterday? Hyung was pretty pissed
when he asked me to get out.

I grimaced. Its complicated, Ry.

Wait, wait, wait, he said. His chinky eyes grew wide. Is he Is he jealous because
of me?!

I know, its stupid, I mumbled, tearing up again.

hey, hey dont cry! I got to clear things up! Im sorry I got you into this mess, kye.

No, its not your fault, i told him.

You just go inside and calm down, okay? Ill take care of this. Just breathe, he said.

Thanks, Ry. Tell him I love him, okay?

Will do! He smiled at me, eyes disappearing into slits.

But still, Kyuhyun didnt answer the phone that day. henry messaged me that
Kyuhyun has been ignoring him the whole day. But I cant give up. I called him again
the next day but he still wouldnt answer. I have cried my eyes out these two days
and I have never felt so lifeless.

Thursday and we havent spoken in three days. I walked home from school, thinking
about him. Hes an amazing man and I couldnt afford to lose him. So this is how it
feels to be in love, isnt it? I know from movies they always tell you that love isnt all
about rainbows and butterflies. But right now all I want is to hear his voice again. i
dont care if hes still mad. I just. I just miss him.

I went out of the elevator, itching to call Kyuhyun again. But then, as I approached
my apartment, there was someone sitting on the floor.

Kyuhyun? I asked.

The man snapped his head up and looked at me. It was him, the man I love. He
stood up immediately. Kye, Im sorry, he said apologetically.

I couldnt hold my tears anymore. I let them run down my face as I ran towards him
and wrapped my arms around his body.

Im sorry, Kyuhyun. Im so sorry. I love you. Im so sorry, i cried.

He hugged me back tight and kissed my hair. No, I should be sorry. Im sorry I
didnt believe you. Im sorry i got mad. Im sorry I didnt take your calls. Stop crying.
Im not going anywhere, he said.

I dont care who was wrong and whos not, I said. I just want you with me.

He gently pushed me to look at me. He cupped my face between his hands, wiping
the tears away by kissing my eyes. I love you. I always will.

I smiled, finally after four days. Would you like to come in? I asked.

Yes please, he nodded, knotting his fingers with mine.

I unlocked the door and pulled him inside. Uhm I dont have food ready yet for
dinner, so what do you think we should do? Should we just order something or eat
out or what? I asked, glancing back at him as we walked to the living room.
Kyuhyun was biting his lip as he looked at me. He placed his hands at my waist and
took a deep breath. Kye, I didnt know how to say it before but you must know that
I find you utterly sexy in our school uniform, he said before tackling my lips.

I chuckled against his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him
closer. His hands traveled down my body and hitched my legs up between his hips,
carrying me. He carried me to my bedroom where he lay me down carefully on my
bed, and then knelt on top of me. His skillful hands opened up my blouse, unclasped
my bra and threw it away somewhere in my bedroom. He then went under my skirt
and hooked his thumbs in my panties before pulling them off of me. His hand went
back up to palm my core, all the while keeping our lips locked together. And I didnt
even try to stop him.

He pulled away gently and looked at me. Promise me, Kyesin. Promise me that your
eyes see only me.

I promise, i answered.

He kissed my lips. Promise me that these lips are mine only, he muttered.

I promise.

And this neck, he said before biting my neck softly. He went down my body. And
these beautiful breasts, he said before sucking them one at a time. I bit my lip to
keep myself from moaning but I could already feel the wetness accumulate in my
core. He kissed his way further down. He knelt between my legs and lifted my feet
up to kiss them, now slowly making his way up, kissing my legs and my inner
thighs. Promise me that this is mine only. No one else can touch this. No one else
can see this but me, he said before breathing into my core and kissing it.

Kyuhyun a moan in the form of his name escaped from my lips.

Promise me that your body is mine only, he said, looking into my eyes.

I promise, I nodded.

Good, he smirked.

Kyuhyun placed his tongue on my core and licked his way to my clit, sending me
waves of pleasure I have never felt before. That night he took his time with me,
pleasuring me in all the ways he possibly can. He kissed me everywhere - literally.
And he took it slow, letting me feel every inch of him move inside me. It was an
incredible sleepless night, and I woke up the next day very late for school and with
our naked bodies on top of each other. He made me his that night.

And that basically started the cycle that led to our break up: we fight, then we
spend some time away from each other, then we make up with some mind blowing
sleepless night together, then were back to normal, and then we fight again. It was
very tiring.
Our next fight happened a couple of weeks after the last one. It started when I
received a white envelope from Stanford University. I opened it, only to find out that
my Mathematics professor had recommended me and they are now offering me full
scholarship to a research related course. The school is one of the top universities
offering a course in Statistics and it would be an honor to study there.

I was excited and overwhelmed at first, but then, accepting the scholarship would
mean leaving Kyuhyun behind. I didnt even think twice. I immediately put the letter
back in the envelope and sealed it inside the kitchen drawer. I cant choose the
scholarship over him. I just cant. Besides, I have already been accepted in Seoul
University with an academic scholarship as well. Its a pretty decent school, one of
the best overall in the world. So I immediately dismissed the idea of going to
Stanford.

A few days later, a Friday, Kyuhyun stayed over after his schedule and slept with
me. He was sweet, as always, but have grown somewhat more comfortable and
with me and aggressive - and I liked it.

The next day, Saturday, I woke up in an empty bed but I could smell food outside. I
took a big shirt from my cabinet and put on my underwear and went out my
bedroom. I slowly ran up to Kyuhyun Who was in the kitchen. I wrapped my arms
around him from behind.

Good morning, I said. Did you cook breakfast?

Yeah, he simply replied. Kyuhyun took two plates filled with toast, bacon and a
sunny side up egg, and placed them on the table.

Looks good! I said, sitting down and digging in.

But Kyuhyun was quiet the whole time, just watching me eat. He only spoke when I
put my utensils down.

Are you done? He asked.

Yeah, I nodded. He took my plate and his to the sink and washed them. Is there
something wrong? I asked. He ignored me again. I stood up and hugged him from
behind. Why are you so quiet? Please tell me what is wrong. I said.

He sighed. You wanna know whats wrong? Fine. He washed his hands and spun
around angrily to face me. When were you going to tell me about Stanford?

What?

Your scholarship from Stanford! When were you going to tell me? Were you just
going to leave all of the sudden without me knowing?! He asked angrily.

I sighed. How did you know about it?

I was looking for some scissors to cut the bacon pack open when I saw the letter in
your drawer! But that is not the point, Kye! It doesnt matter how I saw it or not.
What matters was that you hid it from me! He shouted at me.

Kyuhyun stormed off the kitchen and went to my bedroom. I followed behind him. I
wasnt going to tell you I admitted in a soft voice.

He froze and looked at me with raging eyes. So you were planning to leave me, is
that it?! He angrily took his pants on the floor and started wearing it.

I sighed. No, no, no, Kyuhyun. I wasnt going to tell you because I am not going to
accept it. Look, Ive already planned to go to Seoul University for college because I
want to stay here.

If you werent planning to in the first place, you wouldnt hide it from me, Kyuhyun
shook his head in disapproval.

I walked to him and held his hand. Kyuhyun, Im sorry. I knew if I told you, you
would act exactly like this.

He pulled his hand away and wore his shirt. He stomped his way to the living room
and took his bag. If you just told me, Kye, then we wouldnt be having this fight!

He turned away from me and headed for the door. I ran to him, to stop him from
leaving and hugged him tight. Kyuhyun, please. Youre the reason Im staying
behind. Youre the reason why Im not taking the scholarship. i love you, Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun grumbled. Im leaving. I have a schedule to attend to. Lets just talk about
this later.

He tore my arms off of him and slammed the door. I sighed. Stupid, Kyesin. Stupid.
Im so stupid. Of course hed be angry if he found out. I waited for him to call all day
but he didnt. I was hesitant to call him myself but thinking that if I did and he was
in a middle of a schedule, it would only make things worse. I waited til dawn for my
phone to ring, even holding it in my sleep but he just didnt. So, I took matters in my
own hands. I woke up early the next day, and baked him his favorite chiffon cake,
and headed straight to their dormitory. I rang the bell and a sleepy Henry answered
the door.

Hey, Kye, he said. What are you doing here?

Is Kyuhyun around? I asked.

Yeah, I think hes still asleep. He worked til dawn. They came. Back at around four
in the morning today, he replied.

Okay, thanks, i went inside their dormitory and headed for his room.
Go ahead, Henry said. Sungmin hyung isnt around. He went to his parents
house. Sungmin was Kyuhyuns roommate then.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Kyuhyun was still fast asleep inside. He was snoring aloud, just in his boxers, and I
knew he mustve been very tired. I put the cake on top of his table and went
towards his bed. He had his phone beside him. Does he always leave it like that?

I crawled on his bed, laying beside Kyuhyun, wrapped my arms around him, and
tucked my head in his bare chest.

Hmm? He moaned, waking up.

Im sorry, Kyuhyun. Im so sorry, I apologized.

Kye? He whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

Kyuhyun, I love you. Please, Im sorry, I said, hugging him tighter.

I heard him sigh. I wanted to call you after our schedule but it was really late, he
said.

I lifted my head up to look at him. Kyuhyun

He cupped my face and smiled at me. Stop apologizing, okay? I forgive you.

The corners of my mouth went down uncontrollably and tears started to form in my
eyes. I love you, I sobbed.

He brought my head closer to him and pressed his lips against mine. I love you
too.

I, uh, I brought you the cake you like, I said.

Hmm, really? He said, rolling me to my back and climbing on top of me. He

pressed his lips on mine and wrapped my legs around his hips.

The members i mumbled against his lips as he ground his hips against mine.

Well have to be quiet, he whispered by my ear before kissing my neck. He pulled

my shorts off me along with my underwear. He pulled his boxers down and stroked
his hard member before putting it in me. I couldnt help but moan as I feel the wide
stretch.

Kyu

Shhh He hushed, kissing my neck as he thrusted slowly. You feel so good, he

whispered.
Kyuhyun! Breakfast! I heard Heechul shout from outside and knock on the door.

Ignore him, Kyuhyun whispered and continued thrusting.

And I did as he said. And I didnt regret doing so one bit. He let me sleep in his bed
after which was sweet. He would be back to shower me with his sweet gestures
again, and I always kept my promise to stay healthy. I made it clear to myself that I
should spend as much time with Kyuhyun as I do working. He meant a great deal to
me and I didnt want to get into another fight with him anymore. It was getting so
tiring. So, I tried my best to be good. I was careful with whom I talk to. I also kept
some distance with Henry. I did everything I could to avoid conflict and just please
him. I gave him everything he wanted. And I was right, we didnt get into fights
since then. But what we had gradually became different.

Ever since I spent some time at their dormitory after our last fight, I felt like I was
always being followed. From my daily walk to school, and when going back home. A
couple of days later, parcels kept coming. The first night a parcel came, I wasnt
expecting anything but I was excited since it has been named after Kyuhyun.
Thinking it was a surprise gift from him, I opened it immediately.

Inside the box were dead mice. It was so vile and disgusting; it smelled terrible. I
immediately threw the box to the trash, knowing that Kyuhyun wouldnt do such
thing so it wasnt from him. During the days that followed, I received hate mail. Tons
of it. Papers with the word die written in blood red ink. I figured then that it
mustve been the girl following me for days now. The worst one perhaps was when I
heard something move in the middle of the night so I stood up and went to where it
was coming from. It turns out someone has been trying to open my door, entering
passwords to see if it would unlock. That woman was a sasaeng, and she was
furious when she learned that Kyuhyun was dating so she did everything to get rid
of me.

I never told Kyuhyun about any of this. Until now, he probably doesnt know. I didnt
tell the other members either. I didnt want to add drama to their already busy lives.
Besides, I could handle it by basically ignoring every package and throwing them
out before Kyuhyun arrives to visit which he does from time to time. I figured that
she would eventually tire herself and stop.

But as that problem continues, another one emerges. Kyuhyun has been slowly
spending less and less time with me. At first, it was just the visits to my apartment.
What usually was twice, thrice a week visit became once or even sometimes none
at all. The nights he would come over were the nights when he wanted to sleep with
me. His calls diminished as well. He used to call me every night but then it became
every other night and gradually he would just call whenever he felt like it. I
understood then that he was busy and mustve been tired from the work especially
now that his schedules have increased a significant number. I was nowhere near
angry, though. I was worried actually, that he has been neglecting his health, just
like how I was before.
I then decided to do what he would if he were in my shoes. I went to their dormitory
everyday right after school to bring or cook food for Kyuhyun, as well as the other
members. He was glad I came, at first. I made sure that he gets something to eat
whenever he comes home from a schedule, no matter how late that was. And I
made sure he got enough sleep as well, scolding him if hes still playing games late
at night. While hes out, Id do what I can in the dorm: clean his room, fix his bed,
wash the dishes, anything. And I would stay there until ten in the evening or until
Im sure that Kyuhyun has gotten some sleep. I would then go home and start
studying while working simultaneously. In the process of taking care of Kyuhyun, I
forgot to take care of myself.

I grew weak and sick, constantly having slight fevers or colds. Yet I continued to
care for Kyuhyun even if he doesnt kiss me when he gets back to the dorm like he
used to before. His sweet gestures have gone elsewhere and even when Im around,
hed always go out and eat with his friends.

I keep reminding myself not to be selfish. Kyuhyun has a life outside the idol world
too. He has friends too. He has the right to go out and spend time with them
whenever he feels like it. I keep telling myself these things as I continued to work in
their dorm just to make sure Kyuhyun has everything he needs to stay healthy and
ready for work. But slowly, deep inside, I felt like I was being pushed away

It went on for months. If he wasnt to arrive late in the dorm, he would either be
busy playing Starcraft locked up in his room, or out with his so-called friends. At first
I thought it was Ueno and the others, but they told me they havent seen Kyuhyun
for quite some time now. These were the times when I felt that he has been
avoiding me, and its eating me up not knowing why he is this way.

As the days passed, my slight fever grew worse and worse with the workload piling
up. I still remember that terrible day: it was our monthsary and I wanted to take him
out on a dinner. Just the two of us. It has been months since we last dated, and even
took me a while to get him to go out with me because he says he is busy and still
has to confirm his schedule. I was so happy when he finally confirmed that he could
come. That day I was excited, and I didnt even mind the fact that my head was
spinning and my blood was boiling due to fever. I just wanted one night out with
him.

As usual, I came to their dorm after school. I prepared food for the other members,
being considerate that Kyu and I will be out and I have always prepared food for
them as well. I then washed the dishes after preparing the food while waiting for
Kyuhyun. But suddenly, he came out of his room wearing a jacket and his specs.

Youre going out like that? I asked.

Yeah, he answered. Whats wrong with it?

I didnt want to dwell on it anymore. I just want to go out with him. Nothing, I
shook my head.
Okay then Dont wait up for me. Ill be back late, he said.

My heart sank. He forgot about our arrangement. Kyu, do you know what day it is
today?

I do, he replied. Its the 15th.

I stared at him in disbelief for a couple of seconds. Tears were starting to sting my
eyes but I didnt want him to see me cry so I turned around and swallowed the lump
in my throat. Right the 15th I said.

Great. Ill be off now. Dont wait for me, okay, he said before disappearing.

I went back to the sink and continued washing the dishes. I bit my lip to stop myself
from crying. My head started to spin and I felt so much worse than before. I figured I
couldnt continue working in this state so I quickly finished up.

Ill go ahead, I announced. As I reached for the door, my sight went fuzzy for a
moment. Two pairs of hands have caught me before I hit the ground.

Kye, youre burning! Go sit down and rest for a while, Henry said.

I shook my head. Ill go rest at home. I dont want to be a burden to all of you.

Donghae furrowed his brows at me. Kyesin, youve done nothing but good to all of
us. You even provide food for us all. You shouldnt be working too hard.

Thanks, Donghae oppa but Ill get going now. Please dont worry about me, Ill
call my driver to come pick me up.

Are you sure? Henry asked worriedly.

Yeah I nodded weakly.

I reached for the door and went outside. My head spun again and I held on the walls
for support. Im killing myself again. Kyuhyun wouldnt be happy about this.

I went down their building and decided to wait and sit at the bench in a nearby park.
If Kyuhyun knew what I was doing with my health

But there was a voice inside of me that spoke up.

How could he know if he barely even looks at me these days? My heart sunk. I
shook my head. No, I dont want to think that way!

But isnt it suspicious? How I never met any of these so-called friends of his? Or how
he never tells me who they are?
Tears stung my eyes. No. I trust Kyuhyun, I told myself. I trust him.

Needles were seemingly piercing my head. I pinched my temples. How long til Fred
arrives?

Kyuhyun didnt even remember about your monthsary today, the devil in me
whispered.

Thats when it struck me, and it struck me hard. Tears fell from my eyes. No! No.
He He still loves me, right? He Hes just busy. Im being too possessive, right?
He has other things to do besides be with me, right? The corners of my mouth went
down and my heart ached. I put my feet up and rest my head on top of my knees.
Everything hurts. He still loves me right? I repeated this to convince myself.

Kyesin? a familiar voice called. I looked back and saw Heechul in his training
clothes.

I quickly wiped my tears away. Oh, oppa, I said.

Kim Heechul sat beside me. I thought you and Kyu are going out today? he asked.

I felt a pang to my chest. Ah.. he said he has something to do so

He looked at me closely. Are you crying? he asked. I pursed my lips and shook my
head. He put his hand on my forehead. Youre really sick How could Kyuhyun do
this to you?

I looked at him. He really reminds me of my brother, especially now that he worries

about me. My eyes betrayed me again and the tears kept flowing down my face. I
dont know what to do now I cried.

He sighed and hugged me, rubbing my back. Kyesin

I gently pushed him away. Oppa fans might see.

He put his arms back around me. I dont care. Youre my sister. And I hate seeing
you like this.

Oppa, what do I do now? I I dont know what I should do

You know the members and I were worried about you. Look at you! You look so
sick. You are sick! You used to be prettier than me but now I am prettier! I had to
laugh at that one.

We dont like how Kyuhyun has been treating you lately He continued. If this
continues Youll just get worse. Im afraid that if you continue to be like this
youll hate him sooner or later

Oppa, are you saying I should leave him? I asked.

He grimaced. Its better that way. Youve been fighting a lot, havent you? And
youve been disregarding your health as well If you dont leave him now, youll get
sicker and youll get into fights again Were afraid that if this goes on you two will
hate each other so much and then we wont be able to see you anymore.

I shook my head, sobbing. I cant I cant leave him.

I know its hard for you but we just want whats best. Its your graduation next
week, right? Does he even know? he asked.

I pouted. I have told him but I dont know if he remembers. We havent even
spoken much for weeks

And are you happy with this set up? he said.

Well, hes busy...and--

Heechul shook his head. Were all busy Kyesin. Leeteuk is even busier than he is
yet he makes time for us. If he has time for his friends, then he has time for you.

Just in time, my car rolled down the street. Oppa, I have to go.

He nodded. Alright. Get some sleep. Please do think about what I said tonight.
Were all just very concerned about you. You both need to find yourselves again and
know what you want in life.

I nodded. Thanks.

When I arrived at my apartment, I opened the kitchen drawer and took out the
letter from Stanford. The last day of confirming the acceptance of the scholarship
would be a week from now...the day of graduation and the early admissions
program would start the week from then. Heechuls words echoed through my mind.
I put the letter down, shaking my head.

No. I cant leave him.

I retire to my bed, feeling tired, confused and sick.

I wore my best dress over my toga during graduation day. I took the past few days
thinking of what to do. I know that Heechul is right but my heart is breaking just by
thinking of leaving Kyuhyun. Its hard, but I think I was leaning towards the decision
of leaving him now

But I wanted to give him another chance. If he appeared here during my graduation
and supported me, I wouldnt leave and dismiss that thought immediately. I kept
looking around during the ceremony but I only kept my hopes up. I wont deny that I
was jealous of my classmates that day. Everyone had a family member or a friend
with them during their graduation. They took countless pictures together, crying
and laughing in happiness. I was, on the other hand, alone. My step-father was
stuck in business meetings, my brother has exams and Kyuhyun well I have no
idea where he is. The only picture I had was what Fred took of me. I felt like an
outsider again My family called when I was in my car to eat my celebratory lunch -
alone. Heechul called me then and congratulated me. He and the other members
were out busy with a schedule, but he has no idea where Kyuhyun is either. I was
grateful to them. They really are like family to me. Leaving Kyuhyun would definitely
mean leaving the members too. I dont want any of that But if I stay, what would
happen to me? I could hear my brother scolding me again. I could hear Heechul
worrying about me. I could hear Donghaes soft voice begging me to rest.

I decided to call Kyuhyun, to find out where he is. He said he was on his way back to
the dorm and so I headed there. I rang the doorbell, ready to give Kyuhyun one last
chance. I just want to hear him say that he loves me. Thats all.

Henry opened the door for me and led me to Kyuhyuns room. I knocked on his door.
Come in! he shouted from inside.

Hey, I greeted.

Oh hi! he replied. He was sitting in his desk with a headset on, playing Starcraft.

I closed the door and stood behind him. I carefully wrapped my arms around him
and put my head on his. I miss you I miss holding him so much.

Did you go somewhere? Youre wearing a really nice dress today, he answered,
eyes glued to the computer screen.

My heart broke. He didnt even remember. Its my graduation today I whispered.

Oh, its today? Congratulations! He said, rapidly clicking.

Mhm I hummed. I looked at him, so absorbed by the game. I kissed his cheek.

He looked at me, surprised. What was that, all of the sudden? he chuckled.

I smiled. Nothing I just wanted to kiss you

Oh? he laughed.

I cupped his face between my hands and pressed my lips on his. I felt like tearing up
again. I miss him.

I carefully sat on his lap and grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards me. Kyuhyun
was kissing me back but he pulled away after just a few seconds.

Kyesin, Im playing, he said.

I felt like my heart was just sliced open. I nodded my head and wrapped my arms
around him. I put my head on his shoulder. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying.
Kyuhyun kissed my cheek and then he continued playing.

I love you, I breathed. Please tell me you love me too. Please.

But he didnt. Hold on Im winning, he said. He played a couple of minutes more

and then clapped in victory.

I sighed, defeated. I I couldnt take this anymore. I better go

Oh? Are you feeling alright? he asked. I noticed you felt quite hot. Youre not
running a fever again are you?

I shook my head. Im fine. I just I just want to rest for now.

He nodded. Alright, Ill lead you out.

I stood up and Kyuhyun followed. I walked to their door and went out. Kyuhyun I
said.

Yep? he said.

I threw my arms around him, heart aching. How How can I say goodbye to him.
Ill Ill be busy for a few days, so I wont come around, okay? I lied. Dont worry
about me Please take care of your health. Eat well and get enough sleep, okay?
Dont give your hyungs too much headache. Dont lose hope, okay? Always sing
your heart out. Remember that I will always support you and I love you so much.

Please tell me you love me too. Please. I just want to hear you say you love me.

Kyuhyun chuckled and kissed my forehead. I will. And I know that. Now go home
and get some rest, okay? Ill call when I can.

I nodded and left.

As I was walking away from their dormitory, Heechul arrived in their company van.

Hey, did you see him? he asked.

But I couldnt contain my tears anymore. I ran to him and threw my arms around
him, surprising both Heechul and the manager. Im gonna miss you, I cried.

Heechul sighed and rubbed my back. It has come to this, hasnt it? But cant we
keep in contact?

It wouldnt be right, oppa Please dont tell Kyuhyun yet I still dont know how to
tell him
You havent broken up? he asked.

I shook my head. I dont know how to tell him I cant break his heart, oppa

What are you planning to do then?! Let him blame you?!

Oppa, I love him too much and leaving him is my decision. I dont want to
jeopardize his career by putting the blame on him. He might even affect the whole
group. Its better this way.

Heechul shook his head and sighed. Youre unbelievably too kind, Kyesin.

Please promise me you wont tell him. Let him blame me. Please, I begged.

He sighed. What else can I do?

Thank you oppa Ill Ill be leaving Korea in a few days Ill be taking this
scholarship I got abroad. Im gonna tell Kyuhyun that Im taking the scholarship
Im gonna miss you all. Youve been like a family to me. Please tell the members I
love them, okay?

I immediately went to my computer at home and confirmed the scholarship. Every

part of my body didnt want me doing this but I knew that Heechul was right. My
relationship with Kyuhyun is getting too toxic that it isnt doing any good to either of
us. So its best if I leave and go away for a while to find myself again.

I didnt have the guts to face Kyuhyun at all. I didnt know if I have the strength to
tell him that I was leaving. I wont be able to handle whatever his reaction will be.
So I made the very hard decision to just write him a letter, but I only managed to
write a three words before breaking down into tears: I love you.

And so I left for America bringing only the things that mattered most to me
including his gifts: the charm bracelet and our ring, the pictures we took together,
and kept them in a box.

But I never stopped loving him. I thought I would but I never did. I supported his
career as well, and get excited every time I hear that their group is releasing a new
song. I bought their albums too. I religiously watched and listened to his
performances and I grew very proud of him as he gained more confidence over the
years.

As Ive said at the start of this chapter, all these our just my side of the story.
Everything Ive written above were my perspective. Just mine. If ever this isnt how
Kyuhyun felt...then its up to you to decide.

But Cho Kyuhyun was undeniably the love of my life.

Now I think he still is..

Which is why I hate how much I love him.

Chapter 13: Dinner

Kyesin
I took my phone out and called the person at the top of my recent contacts list. It
only rang twice before he answered.
Hello, angel. Did you get back safely? Dean, who was at the other side of the line
asked.
Yup, I answered. We just landed.
Thats great, he said cheerfully. The charity dinner is about to begin. A lot of
people came, Kye.
Thats wonderful!
What time is your flight to China again? he asked.
In six hours, I replied.
Oh have a safe trip, okay? Lets eat out once you got back.
But Ill be coming to charity dinner first, I said.
What? Really? But it takes about two hours to get here from the airport. Are you
sure thats fine? he asked.
Yeah! Ill stay for an hour or so. I want to personally meet and thank the people
present there, I said with a chuckle. And Im so exhausted from work. I need to
take a break a bit and see you.
Oh? Is Miss Park Kyesin flirting with me? he chuckled over the phone.
I rolled my eyes. Dean Smith, I do not need to flirt with you to make you feel all
giddy.
I know, I know. Im just teasing, he laughed.
Hey, Freds here.
Okay. Have a safe drive. Ill see you soon, hun.
See you. Make sure to leave some food for me, okay?
Yes, of course! Come quickly. I miss you.
I put my phone down. Good evening, Fred.
Good evening, Maam, he replied while a big smile. He took my luggage and
loaded it to the car.
Thank you, I told him before getting in the car.
Dean was right. It took us two hours to arrive. But it was all worth it. Seeing all the
people gathered in the banquet hall, all those generous people, it warms my heart.
I scanned the room around for Dean, but it was someone else I found. Someone who
takes up the largest place in my heart: Cho Kyuhyun.
Youre here? I asked. As far as I can remember, neither I nor Dean have business
relations with him, except that hes one of my clients.
He stepped closer to me. Siwon hyung invited me.
oh I nodded. Right Siwons father is one of my companys partners.
And you? I suppose he invited you? he said. Obviously, he was talking about
Dean.
And just in time, he came. The man protecting me ever since I came back to Korea.
Hey, there you are! Glad you can make it. He wrapped an arm around my waist
and smiled at me.
Yeah. Uhm.. Kyuhyun, this is
Dean Smith, he cut me. We met earlier.
Dean tightened his grip around me. Her boyfriend, Dean Smith, he said.
Kyuhyuns eyes grew wide. Boyfriend? Boyfriend?! His brows furrowed in anger.
Can you excuse us for a second? I told Dean.
Will you be alright? he asked me with a smile.
Yes, I promise, I nodded.
Alright. See you later. Youre giving the closing speech in a few, he smiled at me,
tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
Okay.
Boyfriend? You told me you were just friends! Kyuhyun said once we were alone.
Im sorry, alright? I lied. I didnt know what to tell you.
His brows furrowed at me. Ive seen him like this before. It was like when he was
angry at me, jealous of Henry.
How about you tell me the truth?! He pressed.
I wanted to! But youre pissed at me. I knew telling you about Dean and I would
piss you off even more.
And you thought lying to me wouldnt?! He was really furious.
I was planning to tell you I was just waiting for the right time. When you arent
that mad at me anymore, I said. I wanted to hold him Im sorry.
How long have you two been together?
A month, I replied honestly.
Great, he scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Excuse me. Dean suddenly came from behind. He looked at me with worried eyes.
Im sorry to intrude, but Kye, its time.
Alright. Excuse me, I said. I hate to leave the conversation just like this but I had
no choice.
I walked by Deans side, glancing over my shoulder to check on Kyuhyun. He
marched towards the corridor, probably going to the bathroom.
Sorry, I shouldve told you he was here. I was surprised too, he said in a whisper.
Its fine, I smiled at him.
Maybe I shouldnt have told him about us
I shook my head. Nah It isnt your fault. I was supposed to tell him the truth
He spun around to face me. He brushed my hair with his hand and gave me a warm
smile. Dont beat yourself up, hun. He cupped my face to give me a deep kiss.
Welcome back, by the way.
I chuckled. Thanks.
Ready to give your closing speech? he asked.
Yeah, I nodded.
He smiled wide at me before kissing my lips twice and then once on my forehead.
Good luck, he whispered.
I went up the podium and took a deep breath. Hello everyone, good evening, I
started. I scanned the room. Cho Kyuhyun is nowhere to be found. I then breathed
and continued. For those who do not know, my name is Park Kyesin and I am the
CEO of SSE. I appreciate everyone who came here today. I appreciate your time and
effort spent to join my partner and me for this little charity dinner. This event will
not be a success without your presence, so thank you very much for your
generosity. This will definitely help the children and put smiles on their faces. So,
again, we thank you Now, there are drinks available for everyone so please enjoy
the rest of the night.
That was great, Dean smiled as he escorted me to the table. Hungry?
Starving, I chuckled.
The waiter served me a platter of a quarter pound of steak and mash. I took my
knife and fork and dug in. Dean put his arm around my shoulder sweetly and kissed
my cheek.
Hey, Im trying to eat here, I scolded him.
I just miss you so much, he smiled. I havent seen you for days. Youve been
really busy with work. You just came back from Japan and in just a few minutes,
youre leaving for China again. I know this is very important for you but I hope you
still remember to take a breather once in a while.
Youre worse than my brother, I laughed. But I know, Dean. I know.
God, I miss you so much, he whispered before kissing me.
Well I missed you too, I smiled at him. But please let me eat. Airplane food
sucks.
Alright, alright, he chuckled.
Mister Smith, an old Caucasian man suddenly said. He was with a woman,
probably his wife.
Oh! Mister Davis! Dean stood up and shook his hand. I stood up too.
oh, please, no need to stand. This is my wife, Bianca, he said.
Mr. Davis, let me introduce my girlfriend, Park Kyesin. She is also my partner in
organizing this event. Kye, meet my boss, the chairperson, Mr. Mark Davis.
We each shook hands.. Nice to meet you, I greeted. Please have a seat.
I see now why Mr. Smith is always in a good mood, he chuckled. His girlfriend is
absolutely a treasure.
Oh, Mr. Davis, thats quite flattering, I flushed.
But its true, though, hun, Dean smiled at me.
Youre the CEO of a statistical firm, right? Ms. Bianca Davis said. Forgive me for
asking, but Im just curious. What do you guys do exactly?
Well, to put it in simpler terms, were like calculator plus analyst plus interpreter.
Really expensive ones, in fact, I chuckled.
Oh, there arent many Mathematical Analysts now, right?
Yes, thats right, I nodded.
You know I used to call her walking calculator back when we were still in
Stanford, Dean said. She can solve really fast mentally. When we go out and eat,
she splits the bill like nobodys business.
Thats amazing! Mr. Davis exclaimed. But Im afraid we have to leave now. Our
kids at home are waiting for us.
Oh, of course, Dean nodded. We both stood up as they did.
Please have a safe trip home. It was nice meeting you, I said with a smile.
It was nice meeting you as well. Thank you for tonight. They both left.
We sat back down and I finished my meal.
You look really beautiful tonight, Dean flirted as he looked at me.
Just tonight? I raised my eyebrows at him teasingly.
He laughed. Yeah just today.
Hey! I playfully spanked his hand.
Im kidding. I m kidding, he guffawed. I wiped my lips with a napkin as I finished
my food. I took a look at my watch. Do you need to go now? he pouted.
Yeah I nodded.
He sighed and took my hand to lead me to the lobby. I scanned around, looking for
Kyuhyun. Wait. Why am I looking for him? I shouldnt, right?
Hey, have you replied to your friend? Heechul, was it? he asked me as we walked.
No, not yet, I shook my head. But I dont know Maybe we shouldnt go.
Why not? he asked. Arent they your friends? You told me countless of times back
in America how you miss them and now youre avoiding the party just because of
one person?
But wouldnt it be awkwardwith both of you in one room I whispered.
He smiled at me. Tell him well go. Ill be fine. I dont know about him. I dont care. I
want to meet your friends. Dont you think its time that I should? I mean come on. I
learned their language for you.
I laughed. And you learned quite quickly, I might say. I breathed deeply. Okay.
Well go.
By the way, thanks for coming today. Really, he said. Its always nice having you
around. And I miss you. A lot. Come home soon, okay?
As soon as work is done, I nodded.
He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. He kissed my lips sweetly but still, I didnt
feel anything. You know Id do anything for you, right?
Oh really? Then call Mr. Fred for me, I chuckled.
Yes Maam! he smiled and then left for the valet.
I suddenly felt something pulling my wrist. With his broad back to me, he pulled me
to a secluded corridor. Even from behind, I immediately know who it is.
Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun, what are you doing? Where are you bringing me? His grip
around me tightened. Kyuhyun! Stop it!
He pulled me into a janitors closet and pushed me against the door.
Why did you let him do that? Why?! Kyuhyun said angrily.
Do what?! Kyuhyun, youre hurting me! His hands circled my wrists tight.
You promised me, Kye! You promised me! You promised me that these lips are mine
only. MINE! He put his hands on either side of my face before vehemently pressing
his lips on mine. His tongue forced my mouth open and played with mine, licked my
lips, grazed my teeth I couldnt help it. I didnt want to kiss him back but my body
wants to. My hands found the collar of his shirt and I pulled him closer. Gradually,
his anger subsided as our kiss calmed him down. He pulled away, keeping his
forehead on mine as we both panted for air.
Hes my boyfriend, Kyu, I explained in a whisper. I gently pushed him away.
And then, he said the words Ive been wanting to hear for such a long time.
I want you back, Kyesin He said with soft eyes. My heart turned frantic. You are
the best thing that has ever happened to me. And right nowmy life has been
good. And that is all because of you. You pushed me to go down this path. I have
everything I could ask foreverything but you
But no I I have a boyfriend. This isnt right. I cant just leave Dean for Kyuhyun
Hes changed now How can I be sure that he is still the man I fell in love with?
I shook my head. Kyu I cant this isnt right
His brows furrowed into one line. He leaned over, with one hand pushing the door
behind me. What does he have that I dont?! Tell me! I have money. I probably
work harder than he does. My looks arent that bad either!
He doesnt understand, does he? That I dont care about money. I dont care about
looks. I loved him for who he is. I loved him since hes special. I love him because he
will always be the best for me.
I just dont think we can ever be what we were before again. After what hes done
when I got back
Kyu its not like that
He shook his head. I could see the anger in his eyes. I dont get it Kye. What do you
see in him, huh? Nothing. You will always be better than anyone to me, Kyu. You
two just met and youre already dating him? What? Did he satisfy you better than I
did?
No. How could he? How?!
I couldnt contain myself. My hand my hand flew into his face. The slap echoed in
the silent room. It was deafening.
But I was disappointed at him. I spitted out words that I have been piling up. How
could you say that, Kyuhyun? What happened to you? You used to be the one
defending me from people who think that low of mebut why are you one of them
now? Dean has been my friend for almost seven years. Hes been courting me ever
since but I keep turning him down because Im still in love with you! But seeing how
youve changed over these years, I decided to give him a chance. But mind this
Kyuhyun: never did he once make a move on me. Never.
I pushed him and unlocked the door, shaking. I looked at him, him and his brown
hair, confused puppy eyes, broad shoulders and tall physique that looked absolutely
amazing in the tuxedo he wore. I dont know who you are anymore, Cho Kyuhyun,
I told him.
I ran to back to the lobby where Dean was. He was looking for me and when he
found me, stupid me whos helplessly in love with someone who hated me and now
wants me back but has changed for the worse, he immediately took me in his arms.
Are you okay? What happened? Dean asked worriedly.
Yeah, Im fine, I said. My hand was still shaking from the slap My eyes felt
tearing up but I kept it in. I promised myself I wont cry because of him anymore.
Fred is waiting outside, He whispered.
Alright. I need to go. See you in a week, I said. He leaned forward to give me a
kiss but I jerk back. No I couldnt kiss him with these filthy lips. I I I cant
Dean looked at me, shocked. He sighed and took out a handkerchief. He wiped my
lips. There, he smiled. He pressed his lips on mine for a few seconds before
whispering. Im sorry if Im making it hard for you. I love you.
Im sorry too, I whispered before running to the car waiting for me outside.
I went in and the car sped off. I looked at my hand. It was still shaking the tears
escaped from my eyes like waterfalls.
I dont want you back. I dont want you back. I dont want you back. Repeat until it
sinks in.
Why Why Kyuhyun?
Kyuhyun
Yah! Cho Kyuhyun! Get up! Choi Siwon grabbed my foot and pulled it.
Go away, hyung. Im resting, I complained, pulling my covers back.
He sighed, and pulled my covers away. Kyuhyun, whats happening with you? he
asked. I noticed he was all suited up.
Nothing! I said.
Heechul hyung and you havent spoken for days. Hell you wont even look at each
other! he said.
I said its nothing, Hyung.
Its about Kyesin, isnt it? he said. I gripped on my sheets. Im sorry we didnt tell
you. She didnt want us to.
Hyung. I just I just need to clear my mind about all these, I said.
He breathed deeply. Go ahead and suit up. Come with me.
Where to? I asked, sitting up.
Charity dinner, he replied. Its headed by appas business partner. Appa couldnt
come so he asked me to stand in for him. Come on, Kyu. Its the holiday season!
Remember what Christmas is all about?
Giving, I replied, rolling my eyes at him. But hyung, its January. Holiday season is
over.

Still, wouldnt it be nice to give something out of the goodness of your heart? he
chuckled. Ill wait for you outside.
I sighed. Choi Siwon is kind and generous. People may even think hes the whole
package. Hes tall, handsome, loving, rich yet giving. Hes a good person. We both
liked donating to charity, actually. And we both dont like flaunting it to the public or
having media report it. I think it defeats the purpose of giving. But unlike him, I
dont seem to be a good guy.
I put on my suit as he instructed. He was right. Doing this may perhaps boost my
spirits up.
We arrived at the hotel venue at around eight in the evening. We were led to a hall
by the receptionist.
Oh , there he is, Siwon hyung said.
Hello, welcome, a tall man said in English before shaking hyungs hand. Thank
you for coming.
I froze in place. It was him. That man who keeps taking Kyesin away. Dean Smith.
His eyes shifted from Siwon to me and I could tell that he was surprised. He kept his
composure and smiled at me.
No, its our pleasure, Siwon replied in perfect English. By the way, this is my
friend
Cho Kyuhyun, I believe, he cut hyung off and shook my head. I believe we
havent met formally. My name is Dean Smith.
Pleasure, I said. Even though I didnt mean it.
He smiled like a true gentleman. Please do take your seats inside. The dinner is
about to start.
Thank you, Siwon politely bowed before going in.
I gave him one last look. He seemed unaffected by my presence, but theres
something about him that ticks me off.
I followed Siwon hyung to the table and sat lazily beside him. Whats with you? he
whispered.
Nothing, I lied.
You keep saying theres nothing wrong when there obviously is something in the
matter, he said.
I sighed in defeat. Hyung Was I really the reason why she left?
Kyuhyun, you know I cant answer that. Only she can.
I dont know what Im feeling anymore, hyung. I thought I hated her but every time
I see her or when Im with her I couldnt I couldnt help but feel the same way
before I admitted. Like I havent moved on
Maybe you really havent, he smiled softly at me. But wait you said every time
youre with her What does that mean? I bit my lip. Oh no, Kyu. What did you
do?
I hired her as a statistician for MOM House, I whispered.
Siwon shook his head as he pinched his temples. Kyu, thats a bad idea.
I know, I chuckled bitterly. I thought I was going to get revenge when I hired her
but when shes around me I turn into a total mess. I dont know why Im like this,
man.
Maybe you still love her? he suggested. My head snap to glare at him. Hey, Im
not the one whos confused as hell right now.
I sighed. How could I still love someone who left me broken? You saw how I was for
around two years, hyung.
I do. But maybe, you still yearn for her. You still want her to come back to you, he
said.
I dont know hyung
hello, good evening, a guy said over the microphone. We look up at front. That
Dean guy was speaking. First of all, let me introduce myself. Hello, Im Dean Smith,
Vice Chairperson of Robinson Group of Companies Korean Branch. Second, I would
like to thank everyone for coming today in this charity event jointly organized by my
company and our partner, SSE whose CEO will be joining us shortly. We really
appreciate the time youve spent to be here with us for a cause. Third, we are very
welcome to receive any amount. All your donations will proceed to the UNICEF,
specifically to the orphaned children. So now, please enjoy this dinner we prepared
as a little token of our appreciation.
The waiters all came in and served us a five course meal. It was delicious, I wont
deny. I took this night to observe that Dean guy. He was a gentleman, without a
doubt. And he definitely had the CEO feel. But what did Kyesin see in him? Why
does she spend so much time with him? Why did she choose him over me? She said
they were just friends but why do I not like the guy?
After the plates were cleared, I took my check book and wrote my donation.
Thats quite generous, Kyuhyun, Siwon said.
Its for a good cause, hyung, I smiled him as I took an envelope from the center of
the table. This would teach that Dean guy that I can provide too. I may not be a big
company CEO but Im capable too. I stood up and excused myself to go to the
comfort room.
I was on my way when a woman dressed in red walked in the reception. She was
glowing, not literally, but to my eyes she was. I dont know if it was her plunging
neckline and how her dress hugs her body perfectly, or if it was just her beautiful
angelic face that made my heart skip a beat.
Why, Park Kyesin? After all these years apart, you still take my breath away. Thats a
rude thing to do, isnt it?
She scanned the room and when her eyes found mine her innocent hazel eyes
they widened in shock.
Youre here? she asked in a whisper.
I came closer. Siwon hyung invited me.
oh
And you? I suppose he invited you? I said.
Hey, there you are! That guy Dean came from behind and put an arm around her
waist. My hand uncontrollably turned into a fist. Glad you can make it.
Yeah, she smiled at him. Uhm.. Kyuhyun, this is
Dean Smith, I cut her off. We met earlier.
Her boyfriend, Dean Smith, he corrected.
My heart dropped. Boyfriend? Boyfriend?!
Can you excuse us for a second? Kyesin told the guy.
Will you be alright? he asked.
Yes, I promise, she nodded.
Alright. See you later. Youre giving the closing speech in a few, he smiled at her,
tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
Okay, she nodded with a smile.
Boyfriend? I asked again once we were alone. You told me you were just friends.
Im sorry, alright? I lied. I didnt know what to tell you, she said.
How about you tell me the truth?!
I wanted to! But youre pissed at me. I knew telling you about Dean and I would
piss you off even more, she explained.
And you thought lying to me wouldnt?! I gritted through my teeth.
I was planning to tell you I was just waiting for the right time. When you arent
that mad at me anymore, she said. Im sorry.
How long have you two been together?
A month, she replied.
Great, I scoffed.
Excuse me, I heard a guy say. I spun around. Mr. Smith was here again. Im sorry
to intrude, but Kye, its time.
Alright, she nodded. Excuse me.
She went ahead and walked to his side. He took her hand in his and led her to the
stage.
My hands were in fists and I could feel my temper rising. I breathed deeply and
went to the bathroom to cool off. I went inside, finding the bathroom empty. I
loosened my tie and punched the wall in anger. It fucking hurt.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Why? Why am I like this?
The door suddenly opened and Choi Siwon came inside. He closed the door
discreetly. Im sorry. I didnt know shes coming
Hes doing this for her I said.
What?
That Dean Smith. Hes doing this for her I gritted. My hands were turning into
fists again.
Why?
Coz hes her boyfriend, I chuckled bitterly. I leaned on the wall. Hes her fucking
boyfriend and she never told me about it!
Watch your mouth, Kyuhyun, Siwon hyung scolded me. Are you alright?
Alright? How could I be? She told me he was just a friend, hyung, I said.
Sounds to me that youre jealous, he chuckled.
I froze and glared at him. I am not.
So tell me why youre so pissed right now, he grinned smugly. From the moment
you two met tonight, youve been really moody. Sounds to me that youre jealous of
him rather than angry at Kye. Look, I know you, Kyu. Youre like a brother to me and
you know that. And I know that even until now, youre possessive of her. Maybe
Maybe you dont like to see someone else making her happy but you.
I sighed. Is that what I really feel?
I dont know what to do, hyung Im so confused.
Theres only one thing you can do in times like these, Kyu, Siwon smiled at me as
he came close to fix my necktie. And that is to stop thinking and listen to your
heart. He smiled at me and tapped my shoulders. Take a deep breath and then
join me back at the party when youre ready, okay?
I nodded. Okay. He then disappeared. I took a look at myself again at the mirror. I
breathed deeply, counted to ten before going out.
Champagne? a waiter welcomed me.
Oh yes, one, I said, taking one glass and chugging it down in one gulp. Hey, on
second thought, I need two.
Rough night, sir? he asked.
Yeah, kinda
I sat back at the table with what seems to be my third glass of alcohol. And on my
seat was a clear view of her, smiling as she converse with different people. She
looked really beautiful. She had this aura of a professional. But why does it piss me
off so much when I see her together with that guy?
I emptied my glass and then stood up to look for the waiter going around with the
champagne. By the time I went back to my seat, she was gone. Park Kyesin was
gone. And so was Mr. Vice-Chairperson, Dean Smith. I quickly finished my glass with
one chug and went out of the reception to look for her.
With my head a little hazy from the sudden rise in alcohol intake, I walked through
the halls of the hotel looking for her. I dont know if it was because I was intoxicated
but I felt that the hotel was crazy big, it was impossible to find her. But then,
something was nudging me, telling me to go to the entrance and check.
And just as I thought, she was there. Her beauty radiating all over the place. There
she wasmy angel. The only personthe only girl capable of making my heart skip
a beat. The only girl capable of making my heart flutter. The only girl that can make
me feel warm. The only girl I see myself in the future with. The only girl I really love.
But then shes with someone. Someone else. Someone who isnt me. Why is that?
What does he have that I dont?
Dean Smith was holding her hand and she was smiling at him. He tucked a lock of
hair behind her ear, bent down and leaned over to press his lips on Kyesins lips.
My Kyesin. Mine!
My hand shook as it turned into fists again. My temper rose. How dare he?
He went out of the hotel and disappeared into the road as Kyesin waited in the
lobby. I lost my mind. I grabbed her hand and pulled her.
Kyuhyun? she said. Kyuhyun, what are you doing? Where are you bringing me?
Kyuhyun! Stop it!
I saw a janitor closet and pulled her inside. I locked the door and pushed her against
it.
Kyuhyun! What are you doing?!
Why did you let him do that? I asked angrily as I held her wrists. Why?
Do what?! Kyuhyun, youre hurting me! she said.
I let go of her wrists and cupped her face between my hands. You promised me,
Kye! You promised me! You promised me that these lips are mine only. MINE!
I didnt know what I was doing. I was so angry that I couldnt control myself. I
pressed my lips against hers, forcing her lips open with my tongue. She resisted at
first but eventually gave in, kissing me back like we used to before.
Fuck I miss this. I miss everything about her. I miss the way she looks at me with her
hazel eyes. I miss the way she holds me. I miss the way she kisses me. I miss the
way she pulls herself close to me. I miss her.
My temper subsided and my kisses started to soften. As our lips parted, I kept my
head on hers, gasping for air.
Hes my boyfriend, Kyu she whispered softly. Her hands on my chest gently
pushed me away.
I want you back, Kyesin I muttered, finally admitting the truth I have been
denying all these times. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And
right nowmy life has been good. And that is all because of you. You pushed me to
go down this path. I have everything I could ask foreverything but you
She shook her head. Her apologetic hazel eyes were looking for mine. Kyu I
cant this isnt right.
What does he have that I dont?! Tell me! I have money. I probably work harder
than he does. My looks arent that bad either!
Kyu its not like that
My temper is rising again. I dont get it, Kye. What do you see in him, huh? You two
just met and youre already dating him? What? Did he satisfy you better than I did?
I spitted.
Park Kyesin gave my face a thick hard slap, the sound echoing throughout the room.
How could you say that, Kyuhyun? she said, voice shaking. What happened to
you? You used to be the one defending me from people who think that low of me
but why are you one of them now? Dean has been my friend for almost seven years.
Hes been courting me ever since but I keep turning him down because Im still in
love with you! But seeing how youve changed over these years, I decided to give
him a chance. But mind this Kyuhyun: never did he once make a move on me.
Never. She unlocked the door and went outside. I dont know who you are
anymore, Cho Kyuhyun, she told me with a look I have never seen before a look
of utter disgust.
Fuck. What did I just do? I was supposed to win her backbut I did the exact
opposite! I punched the door in anger. I AM FUCKING STUPID!
Go after her, Kyuhyun, my subconscious suddenly reminded me.
My feet moved immediately, returning back to the lobby but I found her nowhere.
So, it was you I suddenly heard someone say. I spun around. Dean Smith was
standing behind me. It was you who made her upset again.
Where is she?! I demanded.
She left already, but dont bother going after her. She has a flight to catch for a
business trip and wont be home in a couple of days. But, in the mean time, will it
be fine with you if I buy you a couple of drinks? I would like to talk to you about
something Her, actually, he said.
Why would I talk to you?! I said.
Because as her boyfriend, I dont like it when someone makes her upset. You do
understand how I feel, am I right? You were once in my shoes, he said.
I breathed deeply to control my temper. Fine, I replied.
Please follow me, he said with an annoying smile.
We went to the bar in the hotel. It was a quiet bar, and only a few people were
inside. We sat at a booth, opposite each other. He called the waiter. Scotch for me,
and for the gentleman a?
Same, I replied.
We were silently observing each other as we waited for our drinks. He looks what a
businessman would look like. Reserved and behaved. He was incredibly polite,
though he knows that I was the one responsible for upsetting Kyesin.
He took a sip from the glass after our drinks came before he started talking. Like I
said, I dont like people who make my girlfriend upset. And I believe you have done
so more than once already.
You know shes still in love with me, right? I smirked, just to tease him.
He breathed deeply and put on a smile. Yes, unfortunately, I do know that. But she
has chosen me. I will never let this opportunity go to waste. Damn. He knows how
to answer. So let me get straight to the point, since I know you despise me very
much, he continued. If youre just going to cause her pain and sadness, then
please, stay away from her.
You cant tell me what to do! I gritted.
Look, Mister Cho. I will do whatever it takes to protect her. And I wont have second
thoughts to keep her away from you if you keep doing this to her, do you
understand? he said. I know you love her still I know since I look at her the same
way, and I have the same crazed eyes as you do, knowing theres someone else in
her life, he chuckled bitterly. But if you truly love her, this isnt the way to show
it.
I was starting to see I was starting to see why Kyesin would choose him. He is kind
and patient. I wont give up, I said firmly.
He chuckled and smiled smugly. Im not saying you should, Mr. Cho, and I do
acknowledge you as my rival. But when the time comes that she can no longer
handle the pain youre inflicting on her, please expect that you will never see her
again. I think you know very well that I can do that.
And if she chooses me again, I will see to it that she stays with me, got it?
I got it, he nodded with a smirk.
Well then, let the best man win.
He stood up. One more thing. If you kiss Kye forcefully again, I will see to it that
you will never see her ever.
My hands turned into fists again. And if she wants me to kiss her? Or if she kisses
me herself?
He grimaced. Well then I cant do anything about that. But mark my words, Mister
Cho. You may have connections here, but I have power. I will do whatever it takes to
protect her. So please take this warning seriously. I will not destroy your image and
career, if that is what youre thinking. Kyesin loves you fulfilling your dreams
perhaps more than anyone else. I will not do anything to upset her. He took out his
wallet and put down a couple of bills. It was a good talk, Mister Cho. But if you will
excuse me, I have a dinner to get back to.
I finished my glass of scotch and then retreated back to the lobby only to find Siwon
hyung looking at his phone worriedly.
Hyung, I called.
Oh there you are! Where have you been? he furrowed his thick brows are me. Are
you okay?
Yeah, I looked away.
Wanna go home now, or do you want to stay a bit? Kye isnt at the hall anymore,
though, he said.
Nah, lets go, I said.
I climbed on the passengers seat of Siwon hyungs shiny Audi R8 Spyder. I quietly
sat as he drove, looking outside the window.
Kyuhyun, are you alright? he asked, glancing at me from time to time.
Yeah, Im fine, hyung.
Did you get in a fight or something? he asked.
I looked at him, surprised that he could tell just by looking at me. I sighed. I dont
get why she chose him over me! Whats so good about him anyway?!
Choi Siwon laughed. Aigoo Kyuhyun. I thought youve grown up but it turns out you
still havent. Do you know those playhouses filled with toys where parents leave
their kids to play while they shop?
Yeah, what about it?
Well, Imagine when youre playing with something. A really great toy. Then you put
it down for a sec to give the other toys some attention. Then you see someone else
with that toy you really liked. What do you do? he asked.
I dont know I guess I would want that toy back? I suggested.
He glanced at me and smiled, showing off those dimples. Thats you and him, he
said.
Kyesin is not a toy, I pressed.
He rolled his eyes at me. Thats not the point of the analogy!
So youre telling me that Im jealous?
Exactly! he nodded. Thats why youre so irritated at him. You want what he has.
You want her back.
Hyung
Listen to me for a second, okay? I cant just sit around anymore, looking at you
utterly dreadful thinking about what happened between the two of you. It
happened, Kyu. You both love each other, you both got hurt, but the past is past,
Kyuhyun. Get over it.
I sighed. Can you just please bring me to Henrys? So that I could finally get things
straight.
Kyuhyun
Please, hyung. I need some peace of mind. He sighed and turned the car round,
going to Henrys pad. He dropped me off worriedly. Ill take a cab home, thanks.
I went up to Henrys floor and then knocked on his door. A sleepy Henry with unruly
and barely open eyes, and this is not an Asian thing, by the way, opened the door.
Hyung? Its 2 AM, He rubbed his eyes.
Can we talk? I asked.
Hyung? Can we just talk in the morning?
Its about Kyesin, I whispered.
He sighed. Come in, he opened the door for me.
Is it true? I asked. Is he Dean Smith really her boyfriend now?
He looked at me worriedly and hesitantly nodded his head. Just recently, yes.
And did they really know each other for six years? I asked.
Yeah, around that time, he said. I slumped down on his couch, defeated. Hyung,
Im sorry I didnt tell you. I just thought it wasnt my I wasnt in the position to.

What can you tell me about him?

Who? dean? He and kye met in Stanford. Hes a couple of years older than she is
and they also worked together for some time. He follows her around since he cares
a lot about her. In all honesty, Deans a saint, as far as I could tell. The hyungs
would really get along him well. He really loves Kye as well.
Did she Did she Did she really leave because of me? Was it really my fault?
Was I not receptive enough for her feelings? Did I reallyDid I really not notice that
she was struggling? Did she really Was she really sick because of me? Did she
really suffer because of me? my voice was shaking and tears started filling up my
eyes.
Henry sat beside me as my tears fell. His silence told me his answer. Heechul
hyung?
I nodded. Yeah
I didnt I didnt want to separate you two. I mean, youre Kyu and Kye. You were
the perfect couple But I couldnt stand to see her suffering for months, and I hated
how she hid it from us. Shes like a sister to me, and I love her much more than I
should. We all did, hyung, he whispered.
I saw her tonight. With him but whatever I do I just make her upset And I
hate the guy so much.
He smiled at me. Sounds to me that you want her back, he said. So if you do, you
have to step up your game, hyung. Dean waited for a very long time for Kyesin to
accept his feelings. I doubt he would give her up easily.
I do I want her back. So why, Kyesin? Why did you choose him over me? Why?

Chapter 14: Kim Heechul

Kyesin
I fidgeted around the passenger seat of Deans car, holding a bottle of Merlot on my
lap. Dean laughed at me.
Do you have ants in your pants or something? he asked.
First, Im not wearing any pants. Second, Im wearing a dress. And Third, yes, Im
freaking out, I said.
Why are you freaking out? I thought were going to your friends party? Someones
coming back, right? he asked.
I dont know whats gonna happen when he sees me! I argued, obviously
pertaining to Kyuhyun.
Just ignore him, he smiled at me.
Is it too late to turn around now? I asked.
Park Kyesin. We are going to meet your friends because I want you to, he said.
You said you havent seen the one whos coming back in years. Dont you want to
see him now? You told me hes just staying for a couple of days.
Yeah I miss him I pouted. Just promise me you two wont start a fight or
anything, please?
I promise, Dean nodded. Nothing to upset you, love.
Dean parked the car beside what is easily recognizable as Siwons shiny Audi. We
both got off and rode the elevator up to the 11 th floor. Dean took my hand in his and
flashed his pearly white teeth at me.
You should get used to having him around, he whispered to me. That way, you
dont have to limit yourself in doing what you want.
Youre probably right, I replied.
Ready? he asked, squeezing my hand.
Yeah, I nodded.
Dean rang the doorbell.
Who is it? asked the person thru the intercom. It sounded like Heechul.
Hi, oppa. Its Kye! I said.
And Dean, the Californian added.
Oh! Oh! Wait a sec! he said excitedly.
The door beeped open and by it stood Cho Kyuhyun in his plain gray shirt and jeans.
But even in those simple clothes, he looked utterly handsome to my eyes. I loved
how his hair was a bit messy, like I want to ruffle it with my hand like how I did in
the good old days.
But as his eyes met Deans his whole face turned grim. What are you doing
here? he whispered, glaring at Deans hand laced with mine.
Kyuhyun, Hangeng is my friend too, I said.
Im not talking to you, he gritted.
I looked at Dean. He remained calm.
Im here since she wants me to be, he smiled confidently.
KYEEEEEEEEEE! I heard someone shout from inside. Lee Donghae, with his idiotic
yet innocent smile, squeezed his body out from Kyuhyuns large frame that was
blocking the doorway. So happy you can make it! And Oh whos
Oh Hae, this is Dean, Dean, this is Lee Donghae, I introduced as the shook
hands Oppa, hes my boyfriend, I added in a whisper, subtly watching Kyuhyuns
expression.
Oh Donghae interjected, quickly glancing at Kyuhyun then back at us. Well its
nice to meet you. Please, come in.
Kye! Heechul welcomed me with a warm hug. Thanks for coming.
Of course, I smiled.
Oh hey yo! Man! Wazzup! Heechul shook Deans hand and did some uh
rapper gestures I think?
Dean chuckled. Im great, man! He greeted back in his Californian accent. How
about you?
Yo! Its so good to see you man! Im fine, man! Thank you man! Heechul replied in
his exaggerated English. I laughed. I I Yah! Kyesin, help me out here! Tell him I
want to introduce him to the members!
Oppa, he can understand Korean, I laughed.
OH really? Why didnt you tell me? You made my nose bleed! Heechul said.
Park Kyesin is that you? I heard someone ask.
I spun around. Hangeng, oh gorgeous Beijing fried rice, was smiling at me. Gege! I
threw my hands around him. I miss you gege!!!
I miss you too! he laughed. Its so nice to see you again! Youre even more
beautiful now!
Ei gege. Stop it, I blushed.
Whos the guy? he whispered with a teasing smile.
Hes my boyfriend, I said.
Hello, My name is Dean Smith, Dean said in perfect Mandarin.
Woah~ Hangengs eyes widened. He started speaking Chinese. Nice to meet
you. Im Hangeng.
Nice to meet you too, Dean answered.
How long have you been together?
We just got together recently. A little more than a month. But weve known each
other for around six years, Dean replied.
Wow, Hangeng nodded. Thats great!
I heard from Kye that youre great in martial arts.
Well, I know a few stuff.
Hes just being humble, I said.
Hangeng laughed. Youre really good in Mandarin, he said.
Yes, hes fluent, I told him.
DEAN!!!!!! Henry came and tackled him with a hug from behind. So glad youre
here! Come, Ill introduce you to the other members! Theyll love you.
I glanced at Kyuhyun. He was standing alone and was looking over at me. His eyes
lacked the shine it always had before. His eyes showed pain. Was I hurting him by
bringing Dean with me? I wanted to talk to him and apologizebut if I do I know
I would be too weak. Kyuhyun looked away and disappeared into the kitchen. I
breathed deeply and finally followed Dean.
Just as Henry said, the members accepted him. They grew fond of him easily as
well. Dean always had that kind of personality anyway. He likes to please people.
As the night progressed, I started to notice that Kyuhyun was nowhere to be seen.
Was he avoiding me now? Well what did I expect? I brought my boyfriend to my ex-
boyfriends place. Of course, hed be avoiding me. Im surprised he isnt
aggressively mad about it.
The members took turns to talk to me and catch up with whats going on with my
life. As well as ask the never ending question as to why I didnt tell them about me
and Dean. Most of them think I was going too fast, which I completely agree upon.
But then I told them I was trying to get myself unattached to Kyuhyun. They
understood immediately.
But they like Dean. They all told me that. They like him as Dean. But no one told me
that they like him as my boyfriend or for me. I guess they have to know him better.
Their opinions matter very much to me. They are, after all, like my big brothers.
Heechul was the last one to talk to me. Next to Henry, he is the closest to me. He
understood me well.
Hey, he sat down beside me with a bottle of beer in his hand.
Hi, I smiled at him.
Thanks for coming, he said.
I miss you all, I really do.
So how are you?
Im doing fine, I said.
Your boyfriends nice. The members like him, he said.
Yeah thats great.
Are you happy? he asked.
Iuh I couldnt answer.
He sighed. He put an arm around me. Kye, youre like a sister to me. To all of us.
Actually, no, you are our sister. And we all just want you to be happy.
Im okay, oppa. Deans a great guy. Hes so nice and caring, I said.
But are you happy?
Yeah sure
It doesnt really matter to me who you end up with, Kye, he smiled at me. As long
as youre genuinely happy with him. Or her, I wont judge.
I laughed. Thanks, Heech but I have a question.
Shoot, he smiled.
If if someone says something mean to you but you clearly know that he didnt
meant it like he was just driven by his emotions, what do you do? I asked.
Well if that person apologizes, then you should forgive him. Especially if he or
she really means a lot to you. Otherwise, you should stay away.
Oh
Aish that kid he chuckled disapprovingly. He brushed my hair back. Im sorry
about him. Hes just kinda trying to sort and understand things out.
Maybe I should go talk to him.
No, he shook his head. Give him a bit more time to figure out what he really
wants.
I sighed and nodded. Okay
You really still love him, dont you? he whispered.
Yeah sadly, I chuckled bitterly. I dont know I keep telling myself to move on
and forget about him but I cant. I keep thinking that I was doing fine, but then
every time I see him, I just go back all over to the beginning. My voice was shaking
and my eyes got watery.
Hey, youll be fine. Youre Park Kyesin! he said, cheering me up.
Ahaha. Thanks.
Hey Kye, I heard Dean whisper. Ready to go, hun? You still have that 4 am video
call meeting with people from London tomorrow, right?
Oh right! I said. Just give me a few minutes to say goodbye.
Sure, he smiled. Ill go start the car. Ill wait for you there.
Thanks.
I stood up and Heechul led me to the door. Go, you need to rest. Ill tell the others
for you.
Thank you oppa, I smiled.
Youre leaving? Hangeng came out of nowhere.
Yeah, gege. I have work early tomorrow, I said.
Oh. Okay, he nodded. How will you get home?
Dean will drive me.
Okay. Stay safe, he said as he hugged me. Ill miss you. Visit me when youre in
China, okay?
Sure!
Remember, we all just want you to be happy, Heechul said as he fixed my hair.
We love you, Kye.
I love you all, too, I smiled. This was nice. You guys should have reunions often.
If only we could find a time when were all free. This was such a miracle that I had
to make it happen. I just had to, he said.
Well it was definitely worth it, wasnt it? But I better get off now. Ill see you again
soon, oppa, I said, hugging Kim Heechul.
See you, Kye, he said.
I waited for the doors of the elevator to open and Heechul waited patiently with me.
When it did, I went inside and pressed the button for the parking area.
Hey Kye, he called.
Yes oppa?
No matter how we look at it, all of us agree
Huh?
That you were happiest when you were with him Kyuhyun.
The elevator doors closed and it started to descend.
To the public, he may seem aggressive and tactless with the words he says. Hes
vain and narcissistic. But to me, hes one of the most observant and sensitive
persons I know. He cares a lot about people he loves and defends them with
everything he can. He may be frank, but he always speaks the truth. He has his
ways, no matter how absurd or crazy they are, to tell people the right thing. Most
people find it harsh, but at least hes honest about it. He doesnt pretend to be who
he is not. Once he has made up his mind, he makes sure that he is set to do
whatever it is. You cant tell him no. You cant stop him. He will always find a way to
show people what is right.
He is Kim Heechul.
KYUHYUN
It has been weeks since I last spoke to Heechul hyung. That fight really created a rift
between us. The members know about it too. Siwon hyung has been trying to repair
whatever the damage is, but you know Heechul hyung. He has pride. Loads of it.
Unfortunately, I do too.
At the middle of February, Heechul hyung organized a small party, more like a
reunion actually, of us, fifteen members of Super Junior. It was the only day that we
were all free and everybody agreed to come. Even Hankyung hyung.
Little did I know that it wasnt for just us members.
It was nice to see all fifteen of us in one room. I forgot how rowdy and noisy we used
to be. Were all busy with our individual schedules these days but earlier, we did
almost everything together. Only a few were picked to have individual schedules.
Otherwise, all thirteen of us would go for a variety show recording.
I wont even deny that I miss my hyungs as well. Hankyung hyung and Kibum. A lot
has changed in our group, but still, the brotherhood remained between us.
We were gathered in the living room then. I was with Siwon, Donghae and Eunhyuk
hyungs, listening to Kibum tell stories about his past schedules. It was when the
doorbell rang.
Heechul hyung went to the speaker, probably asking who it was. I didnt know if he
was expecting anyone else to come. I mean, all the members are here. Who else
was absent in this family? Perhaps hyung also invited Lee seonsaengnim?
I answered the door. But I wish I hadnt.
An angel stood at the other side of the door. Such a beautiful angel. The angel had
curly brown hair, fair smooth skin and such gorgeous hazel eyes. Gorgeous. But her
smile faded as soon as those eyes found mine.
Beside her was like the stereotypical CEO boyfriend of the lead girl in a drama. He
was fucking tall taller than me, had a thick muscular frame and looked filthy rich.
He was Caucasian; Californian, actually, as far I can remember.
I hated the man. I hate how he exuberate this rich mans aura someone like a
really non-cocky Lee Minho from Boys Over Flowers. He was a nice person. I knew
that from our conversation two weeks ago. And I hated him even more for that. He
was so nice that he won my angel over. He stole my angel from me. And seeing her
hand laced with this man It just raised my temper.
What are you doing here? I gritted.
Kyuhyun, Hangeng is my friend too, the angel, Park Kyesin, told me.
Im not talking to you.
She looked at the man beside her. He remained calm and professional.
He smiled at me smugly and answered. Im here since she wants me to be.
I hated him.
KYE! Donghae hyung shouted from inside. He pushed his way out. So happy you
can make it! And Oh whos
Kyesin lit up and smiled. Oh Hae, this is Dean. Dean, this is Lee Donghae. Oppa,
hes my boyfriend. She introduced.
The word boyfriend rang in my ear. My hand turned into a fist.
Oh, its nice to meet you. Please, come in.
Kye! Heechul hyung ran to hug her. Thanks for coming.
Of course, she smiled lovingly.
Oh hey yo! Man! Wazzup! Heechul hyung greeted that damn Mr. Dean Smith.
Im great man! How about you? he replied in English. Show-off. I rolled my eyes.
Yo! Its so good to see you man! Im fine, man! Thank you man! I I Yah! Kyesin,
help me out here! Tell him I want to introduce him to the members!
Oppa, he can understand Korean, Kyesin chuckled. Yeah. Mister perfect would
understand of course.
Oh really? Why didnt you tell me? You made my nose bleed! Heechul hyung said.
Park Kyesin is that you? Hankyung hyung said.
She spun around. Gege! I miss you gege!!! she hugged him. Then she made a
smile so heavenly, it took my breath away. I miss these smiles of hers. These
genuine smiles. The smiles she used to gave me. The smiles she used to welcome
me when I get back to schedules. Those were my smiles. MINE.
I miss you too! Its so nice to see you again! Youre even more beautiful now!
Ei gege. Stop it, she blushed. Only I used to make her blush.
Whos the guy? Hankyung hyung whispered with a smile.
I took the time to talk to Heechul. Actually, we havent talked for weeks. At all. We
avoid each other at the dorm and during our schedules. He was acting pretty
normal actually but just treats me like Im invisible. The hyungs had sensed our little
veil already. But they didnt play sides. Siwon hyung was the one who tried to patch
things up between us but no matter how hard we tried, we refused to talk to each
other. Maybe because we didnt want to hurt each of our own prides.
Hyung, I said to him, from behind. Why is he here? Look, I understand you
inviting Kyesin, but him? How is he a part of all this?
Heechul hyung glared at me. Oh, so youre talking to me now? Well if you hadnt
fucked things up with her, maybe he wont be here, he snapped at me before
walking away.
I groaned and went away to the kitchen to vent off my anger. There were loads of
food there, for our reunion. I opened a box of pizza and started digging in.
It didnt take long enough for Siwon to find me there and talk. I was, after all, his
favorite member. He was always that kind of person, though. He likes to talk to us
with our problems and help us solve them. Despite being the one with the most
schedules, Choi Siwon is probably the one who loves the group the most among the
members.
Hey, KyuKyu, he sat beside me and ate a pizza slice with me. How are you? he
asked.
Im fine, I answered.
Really? he raised his thick brows at me.
I sighed. Theres no point in lying to him anyway. Plus, for sure, hes gonna give me
a sermon again about telling truth.
What do you want me to say, hyung? That Im happy to see her happy? You know
that Im just lying to myself when I say that! You want the truth hyung? Heres the
truth: I feel relieved to see her here. I really do. Did you see her smile when she
saw Hankyung hyung? I havent seen that smile in years, hyung. But I am so pissed
hes here. What is he to us even? Hes not family. Hes not our friend. Hes nobody. I
understand Kyesin. You you guys treated her like your own little sister back then. I
get that. But him? And so I feel so mad at Heechul hyung for inviting him in here! I
breathed deeply.
He smiled at me, showing off his popular dimples. Ah, Kyuhyunnie, he chuckled,
ruffling my hair. Seems to me you still have a lot of thinking to do.
Hyung I dont know what to do! Its like everything I do would just upset her more
and more. I think thats shes still mad at me from the charity dinner and that Dean
guy is going to pull her away once I make her upset again.
And you dont want that, Siwon said.
Of course, I dont want that! I exclaimed.
Because? he wiggled his brows at me.
Because I lov---- I stopped mid sentence. Siwon was smirking at me.
Now you know, he smiled.
No! I dont! I shook my head.
Siwon sighed and stood up. He took something from the ref and put it in front of me.
here, he said. The roof would be a great spot to think right now.
but the party
What? Do you want to stay and see your hyungs get friendly with your enemy
while your ex- girlfriend laughs and gets along? he asked.
I sighed. I stood up and took more bottles. Im gonna need more of these.
He chuckled. Dont worry. Im pretty sure they will understand. Ill explain it to
them if they dont.
Thanks hyung.
I quietly slipped away from the party and went to the rooftop of our building. Siwon
was right. It was a great place to be alone and think. I opened my bottle of beer and
drank.
I think back to that moment where I was caught by Siwon. Do I really still feel
something for her? Yes, definitely. But is it love?
Ugh I dont know.
Heechul hyungs words rang back to me. The opposite of love is not hate, but
indifference. So, if I didnt love herthen I wouldnt care for her. I wouldnt care who
shes with. I wouldnt care if shes happy or healthy or if shes doing great. I
wouldnt care if shes holding hands with someone else
So why do I get so mad when I see her with Dean? Was I jealous of him?
The answer to that was obvious. Of course I am. Ever since I saw him at the New
Years Eve party, I didnt like him at all. Its not his personality I hated but the fact
he has my girlmy princessmy angelmy Kyesin.
My Kyesin My Kyesin My Kyesin
My heart beat rapidly. No How can it be. So its true I do I still I still love
her.
I love her. I love Park Kyesin.
I love everything about her. I love her wavy brown hair, her fair glowing skin, her
thin red lips and of course her lovely hazel eyes. I love her smile and the way she
laughs, and that when she does those, everything seems so perfect for a while, that
all my problems just go away. I love her love for her family, both her real biological
family and her adoptive family, as well as the family she has here in Korea us: the
Super Junior members. I love how determined she is to pursue her late fathers
dream. I love how close she is with her brother and how grateful she is to her step-
father. I love how she cares for each and every member we have, whether or not
they have left the company. I love how she treats my mother, who is the most
important woman in my life, like her own. I love how professional she is in work. I
love how concentrated she is when she studies. I love how outgoing she actually is.
I love how she loves to travel, experience new things, go on adventures, and eat
whatever she wants. And I love how she sees the good in us, that no matter how
wayward and off track we have become, she still believes in us that we will do
better in the future.
Heechul was right. I am selfish. Between the two of us, I was the selfish one. I love
her and want her so much that it hurts me to see her with anyone else but me. I get
mad when I see her hand in somebody elses or her lips kissed by another mans
lips.
She was mine. And I just let her slip away.
Now I miss her. So fucking much. I miss everything about her. I miss the smiles she
used to give me. I miss how she would laugh at my not-so-funny jokes. I miss just
talking to her. I miss watching her study. I miss brushing her hair with my hand. I
miss touching her face with my fingertips. I miss kissing her. I miss her soft lips on
mine. I miss her hugs and how she would hold me tight. I miss how she holds me
when she sleeps. I miss watching her sleep. I miss kissing her to wake her up and
the smile she would give me when she does. I miss her soft hand. I miss walking
with her. I miss going to parks with her. I miss going on adventures with her. I miss
holding her. I miss pressing my body against hers. I miss kissing her neck, her arms,
her chest, her stomach, her whole body. I miss that night when she gave me
everything she has, that even though she was scared, she trusted me. And I miss
her telling me that she loves me. I miss that so fucking much.
Why was I so blind? Things shouldnt have ended this way if I just saw the problem.
And now I dont want her to leave me. I want to see her every day. I want to hear
her voice. I want to hold her hand.
Or at least I just want to see her smile genuinely at me.
I dont know how long I was there in the rooftop but I was pretty sure I was up there
for a long time. I had already finished all my bottles of beer when I heard someone
come up.
I thought I would find you here. It was Heechul hyung. He sat beside me and gave
me another bottle. Youve already drank quite a lot.
Yeah
You can come down now, he said. Theyve left. Kyes got an important meeting
tomorrow early morning so she had to rest early.
Oh
There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. Kye told me you said
something not that nice to her, he said. But you know her. She sees the good in
people. She believes you didnt mean it. Did you?
Of course not, I answered.
Good, he nodded. Kyesin Shes too kind. She doesnt have a lot of people to
rely on since she was a kid. You know that better than I do. So once she decided to
love someone, she doesnt just give it, she showers it. Shell do everything to save
her relationship with that person. She cannot afford to lose someone else in her life.
Out of all the people in the party, you are without a doubt the person she loves the
most. That fact has never changed.
I took a deep breath. Im sorry hyung. Im so sorry. You were right. I was selfish. I
am selfish. Im so sorry!
He pat my back and put an arm around me. Im glad you apologized. Im sorry too,
for shouting at you. But Im not the person you should be really apologizing to.
Hyung I dont know what to do anymore, I sighed.
Apologize. Thats what you should do, he said. Look, Kyu, whatever you two have
now, it wont be fixed unless you apologize. Tell her youre sorry for whatever youre
sorry for. Tell her how you really feel. Kyesin shes a very understanding girl.
Do you think shell still understand me? I asked.
Of course, he chuckled. she loves you.
But she has someone else I whispered.
Ah Dean? Your hyungs like him, you know? he told me bluntly. If you dont do
anything now And once she decides to let go of all her love for you, then it will be
too late for you, he said.
I buried my face on my hands as the tears fell from my face. It hurts hyung I hate
seeing her with him I sobbed.
Why?
I I love her
There you go. You finally have the answer to all your problems, he smirked at me.
How is that the answer?
Aish Kyuhyun. Do I have to spell it out for you? If you truly love her, then fight for
her, he said. Kyesin Shes not like any of those girls you dated In fact, they are
nothing compared to her. Shes not that kind of person whom you could just give
something so expensive like designer clothes or bags in order to coax. She doesnt
need money or material things. She has already loads of those. To her, it is literally
the thought that counts. It just turns out that her boyfriend now is pretty well off
too. But if you were the poorest person on Earth, she would still choose to love you.

What do I have to do for her to accept me again, hyung?

You know her better yhan I do. In fact, you probably know her best among
everyone in this building now. So, what is the most important thing for her? He
asked.

Her family, I answered immediately.om you could just give something so

expensive like designer clothes or bags in order to coax. She doesnt need money or
Me or Mr. CEO? material things. She has already loads of those. To her, it is
literally the thought that counts. It just turns out that her boyfriend now is pretty
well off too. But if you were the poorest person on Earth, she would still choose to
love you.

What do I have to do for her to accept me again, hyung?

You know her better yhan I do. In fact, you probably know her best among
everyone in this building now. So, what is the most important thing for her? He
asked.

Her family, I answered immediately.

Then now you know what to do, he winked. Make her fall for you again.
Whose side are you on, really? I asked. Me or Mr. CEO?
He shook his head. Im on neither side. Im on hers. Whoever shes really happy
with.
I sighed. She seems really happy now.
Yeah. He said, standing up and headed for the door. But as far as I can tell, she
was way happier when she was with you. In any case, we all miss you downstairs
so get your ass down there. Your Hankyung hyung wont fly hundreds of miles if it
wasnt for us all.
Kim Heechul went inside the building. I breathed, now a bit more relieved. Hyung...
Many people misunderstand him. Hes a bit weird (well, all of us in the group
actually are). Some people see him as a cocky person since he doesnt really go by
the norm and almost always has his own way. He also rarely apologizes. But to us
members, hes a good person. He has a good sense of what is right and wrong and
is often the one that sets us on the right path. Yeah, he can be crazy at times and
have weird anime fetishes. But hes a very important member in our group. Hes
the big brother we could look up to for guidance. Hes a very loyal friend and a
loving family member.
He is Kim Heechul.
Chapter 15: Apologies
KYUHYUN
I stood by the door, heart frantically beating. Was this wine I am holding good
enough? Were the clothes I am wearing decent enough? Was this time free enough?
A lot of thoughts were going through my head. I was nervous. Nervous, because
today was the day I wanted to start anew with Kyesin.
And so with a deep breath, I rang the doorbell to Kyesins apartment. That
moment I wanted to turn around. I didnt want to upset her anymore.

But no! What was I thinking? Apologizing would make her feel better, right? Itll
make her happy, right?
The door opened after a couple of seconds. Hun, youre too ear-- Kyesins hazel
eyes grew wide as soon as she saw me standing outside her place. Kyuhyun?!
What are you doing here? Someone might see you! she whispered.
Even until now she cares about my image.... My career She was the one, after all,
who made me realize I should go down this road.
I took a deep breath before speaking. I want to apologize, I said, looking into her
beautiful eyes.
She smiled at me. Kyuhyun, you couldve called and we couldve met somewhere
else. You have my number, right? Besides, I kinda understand now why you said
what you said at the charity event.
Shes so nice and forgiving as ever. How could I hate her?
I shook my head at Kyesin. Its not just that, I said. Its about everything.
Her face fell, surprised by my words. Oh
Are you free? I asked. It would be nice if we could finally talk about the things
that happened between us Please
She sighed. Alright. Come in But I have a dinner with Dean tonight and hes
picking me up at six so I have only until then
I nodded, silently calming myself down after hearing that guys name. Okay
Would youlike something to drink? she asked. Water, tea?

Water would be nice, I replied.

She nodded and got a glass of water from the kitchen. He handed the glass to me
and sat down on her recliner, cutely putting her feet up as she sipped on her glass.

I took a deep breath. Here it goes. Kye Im sorry. Im sorry Ive been really selfish.
Im sorry I didnt know what you were going through

Did Heechul?

I nodded. He scolded me And he was right. I was a jerk. I am a jerk. Im so sorry,

Kyesin I didnt know I was hurting you

Im not mad at you. I can never be. You dont have to apologize, Kyuhyun
But I hurt you, didnt I? You cried your eyes out because of me, didnt you? Even
now, I bet, youre hurting when you see me, I said. I could feel my heart ache.

The corners went down into a pout and her eyes became watery. She hugged her
knees tighter and closer to her, hesitating to talk. I I I loved you, Kyuhyun I
endured everything for you.

I knelt in front of her and took her hand in mine. Tell me, Kye. Tell me why you left.
So that I can finally correct what Ive done. So that I can finally set things right.
Heechul hyung he told me that you were sick and I I didnt notice it...

She looked at me as tears streamed down her face. I reached over to wipe them but
she looked away, wiping them herself. Kyuhyun she sighed. I didnt leave
because I was sick I didnt leave because Heechul told me to

Then why? I asked.

She bit her lip and shook her head, crying. I left I left because I felt like you didnt
love me anymore she said in a bleak voice.

I felt like my heart fell out of my chest. How How could she think that? I dont
understand. What made her think like that Was it all because I didnt spend time
with her? What

I thought you didnt love me anymore and that you were too scared to tell me
the truth but I loved you so much that I didnt want you to think that it was
your fault that we broke up. I didnt want you to blame yourself. I was afraid that if
you do, youll get depressed and then your dreams and your career might be
gone she cried.

I couldnt help myself. I stood up and took her into my arms, letting her sit on my
lap on the couch. She cried on my chest, and I hugged her as tight as I could. My
heart ached seeing her like this, and it ached more after hearing her reason of
leaving No she misunderstood it. How could I be so blind? How could I be so
stupid? This shouldnt have happened if I hadnt acted that way.

Kye I crooned, brushing her hair. Im sorry But I really loved you. Its not
true...what you think When you left, I was so lost well, because, I lost you. I
became mad at first, I thought I was mad at you for taking the scholarship and
leaving me behind. But now I realize that I was also mad at myself That if I had
just done things right, you wouldnt even consider taking it. Isnt that right?

Yeah, she sobbed. Can I ask you something?

What is it?

Did you did you ever cheat on me?

I cupped her face between my hands. Never! I said.

She nodded her head and placed it back on me. Okay

Tell me, what made you think that?

She pressed her face on my chest harder and gripped on my shirt. I I I dont
know You always went out without me And you never introduced me to those
friends

I sighed. She misunderstood all of it. Changmin was one of them, I whispered.
But you already knew him then. Im sure Ive introduced you to him Minho was
another he was still a trainee then but were already close friends. The rest were
all trainees whom I met when I was one They werent given a chance to debut
But Kye, it has never crossed my mind to cheat on you. Never.

Im sorry for thinking that way, she whispered.

What I told you at the dinner That I want you back I mean it.

She looked at me. Kyuhyun I dont think we can be what we were before again

We dont have to be what we were We can always start over, I told her. Like
weve never been together.

And do you think that that will work?

I guess well never know unless we try, right? Besides, I think theres a high
probability that it will, since I know where I went wrong now.

Youre wrong, she muttered. The probability remains 50-50. Its still either it will
work, or it will not.

I chuckled. I havent told you how much I missed you

I missed you too a lot, she whispered, pressing her cheek closer to my chest as
she hid her face.

Henry told me you supported me and the other members even after you left Is
that right?

She nodded. And Im so proud of how much youve changed, vocally. Youre so
amazing now

Kyesin

Yeah?

Im really sorry for hurting you and driving you to the point where you cant take it
anymore
She started crying again. Kyuhyun, you were everything to me then It was so
hard I cant go through that again. Thats why we cant be together.

How do you know that? How that you know well be just the same as before if we
dont try?

She sighed. Kyuhyun, Im with-- I didnt want to hear it.

I know, Kye but

But what?

But I love you.

She raised her head to look at me. What?

I could feel water falling down my face. I love you, I say it one more time, crying.
I never stopped, Kye. Ive always waited for you to come back. I thought if I get a
relationship with someone else, I could forget about you and move on But all I did
was to look for things that she doesnt have but you do. It never worked. And when
Im single, I silently hope that youd one day show up at my doorstep or at least
contact me Acting up in front of everyone that I hated you only proves how much I
am still affected over our relationship. I knew I was denying that I didnt want you
back nor simply hear your name in front of everyone else I knew I was only lying
to myself when I said I didnt want to see you But all those time I silently wished I
did. Theres this part of me that is missing when you left me. And I will never be
whole again unless you come back When I learned you kept in touch with Henry, I
was so mad at the both of you. Same with when I learned that the hyungs were
seeing you behind my back. Because deep inside, Ive always wanted you for
myself. Im a selfish person. Im a bad person But I never stopped loving you,
Kyesin. I really never stopped. I love you so much.

She cupped my face, looking into my eyes. Kyuhyun

I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I couldnt. I love you, Kye, I whispered.

She pursed her lips and breathed deeply.

She pulled my head and pressed her lips on mine. My heart raced and my body
heated up. My arms immediately wrapped themselves around her tight and
deepened the kiss. I miss this. I miss her lips on mine. I miss the heat between our
lips. I miss my heart racing like this. I miss the taste of her mouth. I miss the way
she touches me. I miss the way she pulls me close. I miss the way she drives me
crazy.

I hate the fact that shes unbelievably kind. That after all Ive done, she still chose
to love me. I hate how easily she forgave me. I do not deserve it.
But at the same time, I love it. I love how kind she is. How considerate.

Kissing her like this again after years and years of waiting It makes me want more.

Kyesin

I love you. Kyuhyuns words echoed in my mind.

My head snapped up and looked at him. What? Did he really say that?

Kyuhyuns eyes were red and tears were falling down his face. My heart is breaking
to see my precious angel cry. I love you, he said it again. Oh my heart leaped for
joy. Ive been waiting for him to say this for seven years I miss this voice. I
never stopped, Kye. Ive always waited for you to come back. I thought if I get a
relationship with someone else, I could forget about you and move on But all I did
was to look for things that she doesnt have but you do. It never worked. And when
Im single, I silently hope that youd one day show up at my doorstep or at least
contact me Acting up in front of everyone that I hated you only proves how much I
am still affected over our relationship. I knew I was denying that I didnt want you
back nor simply hear your name in front of everyone else I knew I was only lying
to myself when I said I didnt want to see you But all those time I silently wished I
did. Theres this part of me that is missing when you left me. And I will never be
whole again unless you come back When I learned you kept in touch with Henry, I
was so mad at the both of you. Same with when I learned that the hyungs were
seeing you behind my back. Because deep inside, Ive always wanted you for
myself. Im a selfish person. Im a bad person But I never stopped loving you,
Kyesin. I really never stopped. I love you so much.

Hearing these words warms my heart. I missed him so much. This This is my
Kyuhyun. This is the Kyuhyun I fell in love with. My Kyuhyun. No matter what
happened between us before, it didnt matter for now just for now. I didnt know
what was going through my mind. I didnt know why logic has left me again. All I
know is that I want him now.

I cupped his face. Kyuhyun I miss him.

I love you, Kye, he whispered.

I pressed my lips against his. OH my heart could just melt in this kiss. I put my
hands on his chest and pulled him close to me. Oh how I miss this. I miss everything
about this. I miss the way he holds me close, like hes never letting go. I miss the
way his soft lips caress mine. His kisses now seemed like his kisses when we were
just dating for a few weeks - careful but sweet. I couldnt help myself. I couldnt
snap out of it. Once again, Im falling for Cho Kyuhyuns charms.
At times like this, theres something wrong going on with my body as if my brain
disconnects itself with the rest of the parts. My hands gripped on his shirt tight and
started tugging it up. I want him. So bad.

Kyuhyun gently pushed me away, keeping his forehead connected with mine.
Kyesin, we cant he whispered.

I looked at him. His eyes are apologetic. I could see it in him that he wants me too
But why would he stop me?

Im sorry I apologize, thinking that its the only thing I can do now.

He brushed my hair away from my face, tucking a lock behind my ear as he smiled.
I just dont want you to regret it. I know youre going to beat yourself up if anything
happens to us, now that you have someone else in your life, he said.

Right. Hes right. Thank you, I whispered.

Theres nothing to thank me for. If only you didnt have a boyfriend, and if he didnt
warn me, then I wouldnt stop you at all, he said.

Warn you?

Kyuhyun grimaced. Its nothing. Please, just ignore it.

I nodded. Kyuhyun I know itll be hard but I cant just leave Dean I really
cant. And I dont know I can ever be with you again. Even after all this.

I know that. But I wont give up. As long as you still love me, he smiled sweetly at
me.

Please dont get your hopes too high, Kyuhyun. I dont plan to leave Dean anytime
soon.

He nodded his head. I can wait.

I sighed. Kyuhyuns arms found their way to my waist. I miss hugging you
Honestly. This is wrong. I know. But I just couldnt control myself. I didnt say
anything and just closed my eyes. Kye?

Yeah?

Right now I cant help but think of the things I regret, one of which was about the
last time I saw you For so long I wondered why you were acting weird I thought
then you just werent feeling well I shouldve told you i love you that night. I
shouldve told you He said.
I look at him. My heart was beating so fast. My head was spinning. I couldnt control
my hands as they found their way to his chest, pulling him by his shirt closer to me.
Why Why is he saying all this now? Why is he making me so confused?

If you had done so Then I wouldnt have left My voice broke. That was all I
was waiting for from you that day, Kyuhyun. Just waiting for you to tell me that you
still love me.

I could see in his eyes the regret he felt hearing these words from me. Im sorry
This is all my fault.

My tears betrayed me again. They kept falling and falling as thoughts of alternate
pasts went through my mind. If only he had told me he loves me. If only he said
those three words.

Kyuhyun took me in his embrace but said no words. He knew exactly how to calm
me down. He knew how I find solace in his sweet and warm kisses. He knew how to
soothe me by lacing our fingers together. He knew that I find peace when I bury my
head on his chest. He did those things without hesitation, taking care of me just like
before as if we never broke up. He was becoming the Kyuhyun I fell in love with.
This warmth This is what is missing between Dean and Me. I am lost in Kyuhyuns
embrace once again.

Hun? Hun~ i hear someone whisper.

I stirred and slowly opened my eyes. Dean was sitting on my bed. Huh?

Youre so damn cute, he laughed.

I sat up. How did you get in?

He pursed his lips and turned a bit serious. Your friend...let me in

Oh I said. Dean

He chuckled. You dont need to explain. Im sure you had your reasons.

I pouted at him. Why are you so nice?

Because I love you, and I understand what youre going through. And I really do
want to eat out with you tonight. Im starving,, he chuckled.

Im sorry Ill just go change real quick, I said, standing up and heading straight
for the bathroom.

Alright, Ill go wait in the living room.

I put on a nice teal dress, some make up and my silver stilettos. I walked out of my
bedroom with my purse. Dean was sitting on the couch, waiting. He looked up as I
walked towards him. His lips turned immediately up into a smile as he saw me.

He stood up and put his arm around my waist. You look beautiful, he said.

Thanks, I replied. Shall we?

He took my hand and nodded.

We went to an expensive restaurant but very delicious restaurant. I believe it was

Wolfgang Pucks. The single slab of Wagyu I ate was worth 200 dollars and the
bottle of wine Dean ordered was of the same price. It was a fun and relaxing dinner.

But I do kinda miss eating street food. I miss eating at hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I
miss eating homemade kimbaps. Dean he would never eat such food. He was
raised with a silver spoon and he ate food that was either cooked for him with
accordance to his nutritionist or expensive kind of food like these. Even though I
force him to eat something like tteokbokki, he couldnt since he has a sensitive
stomach. Im not complaining, though. I do love steak and wine. But I really do miss
other food as well.

We walked a bit at the park after eating to digest the food we just ate. I know I was
full as hell but there was this amazing appetizing smell coming from somewhere. I
unconsciously followed it, leading Dean by the hand. At the other side of the park
was a small stand where people have gathered. I took a look closer at what is it.

The man was selling freshly cooked fish shaped bread, otherwise known as bung o
pang. Bittersweet memories flashed through me as I saw the delicious little things.

Would you like some? Dean asked me.

Oh no Im full, I replied.

Are you sure? he smiled.

I nodded. Lets go We continued walking around for a couple of minutes before I

spoke again. I just couldnt keep it in anymore. Hey Dean

Yeah?

He he stopped by today to apologize I said.

Apologize?

I nodded. For the mess at the charity dinner and for what happened in the past,
I said slowly.
Oh thats great. Honestly, he smiled.

Yeah I thought it was I replied. Also We kissed I thought you should know
I whispered.

Did he kiss you or?

I initiated it Im sorry

He breathed deeply. Now that youre confessing me something I have something

to tell you too, he said. During the dinner after you left, I took some time to talk
to him.

Is this what Kyuhyun was talking about? You warned him, didnt you? I asked.

Yes...and no. I didnt ask him to stay away from you, if that was what youre
thinking. I just told him that he shouldnt make you upset anymore and if he kiss
you again forcefully, I would have no choice but to protect you from him. And that
would mean that he cant see you anymore.

Ah I see, I said.

Im sorry, Kye. I I just didnt like seeing you that upset. I didnt mean to control
you or intrude in your personal matters, he said with an apologetic face. If you
disagree with me, please tell me now.

No, I understand, Dean, I said, smiling at him. Tell me something. And you have
to be honest about it

What?

Are you really just fine if Kyuhyun and I meet or talk to each other? I asked.

Honestly?

Yes, please. Honestly.

Hmm No, he said. I mean, who would? As your boyfriend, I do feel jealous
seeing you two together, even if it isnt what you intend it to be. But Im trying very
hard to understand. Youve been in love with him for years. Watching you, I know it
must be hard for you to move on, especially now that youre in the same country.

I sighed. Im sorry I promise Ill avoid him as much as possible.

Dean laughed. Im not asking you to, hun, but if thats what you want then Im not
stopping you. I just want you to be less affected of him, okay?

I nodded. He is really kind. Okay.

He held my hand and squeezed it. He said hes going to wait but so can I. I just
got you to be mine, Kyesin. Im not going to let him take you away from me easily.

I know, I chuckled. But you better.

He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. I hope things will be better for
you from now on, he said before kissing the top of head.

I hope it does too. I really hope it does.

It was then that Ive made my decision. And Im choosing Dean.

Chapter 16: Home

KYESIN

Please take the messages Ill get. I have to go to an appointment for the rest of the
day, I told my assistant. You can go home once youre done with your reports.

Yes, maam, she nodded. See you tomorrow.

See you.

I went down to the parking lot with my laptop and went inside my car. I revved the
engine on. I took out my phone and called Dean before leaving.

Hey hun, he greeted.

Hey Dean. Ill be going to that appointment now, I said.

Oh. Okay. Take care, honey. Please call me when you get back, he said.

I will.

Alright. We have a dinner reservation at nine, so please be back by then.

Yes, I will. Dont worry.

Dont have too much fun, okay? he joked.

I laughed. Yes, sir.

I ended the call and drove away. A few days ago, Kyuhyun contacted my firm asking
to schedule an appointment with me for this day and this day only, saying that he
doesnt have any other free time due to schedules. I had to cancel my meetings and
appointments to make room for him, not because it was Kyuhyun but because I
didnt want to disappoint his mother, whom I have personally told that I would
handle their business data.

He asked me to go to a parking lot building somewhere in Seoul. He even has

specified a certain floor and lot number for me to park in, and so I did as he
instructed. I arrived there in time.

Kyuhyun was already there, waiting for me, leaning on his black Mercedes parked
beside my car. He smiled wide as he saw me arrive. I knew, after all, why he has
specifically picked this date to see me. It was because today is my birthday.

Good afternoon, Kyuhyun greeted as I went out of my car. Ill take that. He took
my laptop bag from me and loaded it into his car. Have you eaten?
Yes I have, thank you. Are we riding together? I asked.

Yes, itll be easier that way. he replied.

Are we going somewhere far? I asked.

Yeah, a little, he replied. He opened the passenger door for me and let me in. He
quickly walked to his side, got in and drove off.

We drove for hours, definitely away from the city and into the provincial side of
Korea. We drove along the highway where all you can see are vast green mountain
ranges. It was a pretty long drive, but it was especially nice because all the while
Kyuhyun was singing along to whatever song was on the radio.

You seem happy, Kyuhyun said, slowly glancing at me once in awhile.

Hmm.. I nodded. Its been awhile since Ive heard you sing live.

Live? he asked.

Yeah, in person, I chuckled.

So youve listened to my songs? he asked.

Of course. Ive always looked forward to you and your groups releases, I replied.

Hmm Seven years must be long, he said.

Seven? Hmm.. how long is it really? Four? Five? I said. But it was indeed very
long.

Kyuhyun furrowed his brows and took some time to think. SMTOWN in LA?

Yeah, I nodded.

i knew it was you I saw! The hyungs didnt believe me, called me crazy and told me
I was just seeing things I wanted to see Especially then because we were in
America.

You were really good then But hearing you now Youre so much better.

Am I? he chuckled.

Mhm, I said. Your control is so much better now. Your runs are clearer and you
have better chest power.

Youve really followed my career, havent you, he said.

Of course. You will always be my favorite singer, I said.

You really did love me that much, huh? You still supported me when I couldnt even
look at you, he whispered.

Kyuhyun, I already forgave you for that. Lets not talk about it anymore.

He sighed. Youre still too kind. You should be mad at me for things like that. You
never get mad at me

I looked at him. I dont think I am capable of that.

He sighed. Fine, youre right. Lets not talk about it anymore. But I want you to
know that I want things between us to be better from now on. I wont hurt you
anymore, I promise. And Im keeping my word with that boyfriend of yours. As much
as I want to kiss you, I wont. Not unless you tell me to, or you kiss me yourself. This
is how serious I am when I say I want you back, Kyesin. I will do everything I can to
set things right. Starting now.

Kyuhyun

You dont need to say anything, he said.

I was just going to ask you how much further are we going to drive, I joked.

He chuckled. Well, just fifteen more minutes from now. Please, just wait a little
more. I promise itll be worth it.

Were not going to work on your business, are we? I asked.

He pursed his lips, fighting a smile. No.

I knew it! So where are you taking me? When are we going to do it? I dont want to
let your mother down! I said.

Relax. Do it whenever you want to. I dont need to watch you. I already know
youre doing it for eomma and not me, after hearing her rave about you the other
day, so I know I could trust you, he said.

Rave about me? I laughed.

You know how eomma is. She loves you like her own daughter. Shes really happy
you came back, by the way. She says shes going to call you up whenever she feels
like it, Kyuhyun said.

She does, actually, I nodded.

Shes thankful that youre the one handling our data, as well, he said. I know
youd do anything for her so Ill let you do it on your own.
Then why do you have to make this lame excuse that well be working on your
business?

Would you have agreed to come with me if I had told you otherwise? He asked. He
has a point. I I had this day off.. And I do not want to spend it with anyone else
but you Its pretty selfish, isnt it? But Im going to prove you that Im the same
Kyuhyun you know before, and I will take any opportunity that arises.

I sighed and then chuckled. Youre incredibly persistent.

Thats just a nice word for stubborn, he laughed. He then parked the car in the
middle of nowhere, somewhere up a hill.

What are we doing here? I asked.

Youll see, he replied. Come on. We still have to trail up a little.

Trail up? Were going to hike? I asked as I went out the car.

Yeah, he replied, taking something out of the trunk.

You couldve just told me, you know. I couldve changed my shoes...

Kyuhyun walked towards me with a box in his hands. Thats why I bought you
these. Sit in the car. Ill help you put them on.

I did as he said. Kyuhyun took out a pair of cute flat boots and put them on me,
tying the laces. It reminded me of when he helped me put on my skates when we
first met.

Theyre really pretty, I whispered. Whose are they?

Its yours now, he replied. I can give you shoes, just for now... since were not
together yet. He grinned.

Mine?

He held out his hand to help me stand up. He nodded. Happy birthday, he greeted
with twinkling eyes.

My heart jumped out of my rib cage. I havent felt this way in such a long time. My
cheeks were burning. Thank you I whispered. You remembered Pull yourself
together, Park Kyesin.

Of course. I could never forget, he said. Kyuhyun closed the door of his car and
locked it. He pointed up the hill where a small house stood. Lets go there, he said.

There? We cant just go to other peoples houses, Kyu, I said.

He started walking, following a trail up the house. Im feeling a wee bit
adventurous today, Kye. Isnt it a beautiful day?

It was beautiful. The sky is clear but it wasnt hot. The late winter and early spring
breeze kept it nice and cool. It is, Kyuhyun, but we might be charged with
trespassing with what were about to do.

He laughed. Relax. Im sure theyll be friendly. He smiled to himself as if enjoying

an inside joke.

We hiked up the hill while Kyuhyun sang happily. His voice really blends well with
nature as if birds were singing along with him. He was patient with me, helping me
go up steep slopes. I admit. I was excited too. I didnt experience anything like this
when I was away for seven years. I was slowly becoming myself again - a little girl
filled with adventure.

We reached the top of the hill in a few minutes and the hike was worth it. The house
was white and simple outside. It was big in the sense that it was wide rather than
high. It looked very peaceful, away from the city and hidden in the woods.

Oh hey, its open, Kyuhyun said.

Is there anyone inside?

I dont think so He hold my hand and pulled me inside. Hello? Kyuhyun called
but no one answered.

The inside of the house is warm and welcoming. Most of the furnitures were made of
pretty sculpted wood. The carpet on the living room floor looks beautiful and
expensive. A warm sense of home washed through me.

I wonder who owns the place Do they just leave it open all the time? It doesnt
look like the house is used often though, I said.

Kyuhyun smiled at me. Dont you know who owns it?

I shook my head. Dont tell me Is this house yours?!

He guffawed. No, he said taking my hand back in his. Would you like to meet the
owner? Shes very beautiful.

So you do know who lives here! I said.

Come with me. He brought me to the other side of the living room and made me
stand in front of the mirror. There.

What? I dont understand, I said.

That beautiful woman with hazel eyes in front of you is the owner, he smiled.
I look at Kyuhyun. This This is mine?

Mhm He smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. Follow me.

He took my hand again and pulled me into a corridor. At the end was a giant oil
painting. I gasped as soon as I recognized it. It was a painting of my family - my
biological family. The same painting found at our estate in Italy.

This This is unbelievable!

This isnt even the best part, he smiled wide. He laced his fingers with mine and
pulled me to the back of the house. There was a grass archway perfectly shaped
that led to another surprise.

There were fields and fields of grapes planted on the hill. Oh wow I breathed,
amazed by this beautiful paradise. How-how did you find this? I asked.

He held my hand tight as we went further down the hill to explore the vineyard.
When you left I was lost Then a few months after, I was driving around in my
motorcycle to clear my mind. To be honest, I didnt know where I was going and I
literally got lost. I saw this house and so I decided to ask for directions from the
people who lived here. I then found out that it was yours.

He sat on the ground where an amazing view of the whole vineyard can be seen. I
sat down with him, enjoying the view. Its beautiful, Kyuhyun. Its smaller than the
one we have in Italy, but its just as beautiful

Its sad you had to see it during winter, he chuckled. You should go back during
harvest. Its much more beautiful then.

I looked at him. These boots arent your birthday gift, are they?

He chuckled, looking down at his hands. No he muttered.

Well then, thank you. So much. I love it, I told him.

Do you really? he asked.

I nodded. Kyuhyun, Ive been searching for this vineyard for years. I knew we had
one here, but I didnt know where exactly it was. Thank you for finding it for me.
Really.

Kye Im serious about getting you back, Kye. Im going to do everything just to
have you again, he said as he looked me in my eyes.

Okay, lets say you get me back. Do you think well be the same again as before?
Do you think well work out again? I asked.
We dont have to be like before, Kye. We can start over and be whatever we want
to be, he said.

Do you think that thats possible?

You still love me, dont you? He smirked. As long as you do, I wont lose hope.
He placed his head on top of mine and leaned on me. Ive forgotten how much I
liked it when he does this.

I put my hand up to reach for his head, ruffling his hair like how I would always do in
response. My heart feels so warm now that Im with him. I know what hes doing.
Hes reminding me of the things we used to do...things that I love doing with him

I miss you He whispered as his hand crawled to lace his fingers with mine. I
miss your touch I miss your voice I miss looking into your eyes Your beautiful
hazel eyes I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could erase everything wrong Ive
done

I miss you too, Kyuhyun But I dont want to cry on my birthday, I chuckled.

Alright, he nodded. He brushed my hair with his hand while looking into my eyes.
I promise to treat you a lot better from now on, Kye. Ill show you how much I love
you.

My heart couldnt calm down. It was beating so fast that I could barely hear myself
think. I wanted to hold him. Unconsciously, I was moving in and leaning closer.
Kyuhyuns soft eyes and plump lips were inviting me in.

Mister Cho!! A husky voice suddenly called from behind.

I ducked my head down. What was I doing?

Kyuhyun lifted my head up with his finger and smiled at me. He stood up and helped
me up.

Ahjussi! Kyuhyun greeted the man with a big smile.

Oh! You shouldve told me youll be coming. I couldve prepared something for you
and your beautiful friend, the man replied. Were quite busy with the crops now.
We have to put layers of soil to keep the roots warm, so Im sorry for the mess.

Oh, ahjussi, Id like you to meet a special person, Kyuhyun said. He put his hand
on my back and pushed me gently up front. This is Park Kyesin.

Park Kyesin? The Park Kyesin?!

Yes, Kyuhyun smiled wide.

Omo! The man bowed low. It is an honor to finally meet you Miss Park!
Its nice to meet you too, but please, you do not have to bow that low.

Kye, Lee Daejoong ahjussi is the keeper here in the vineyard. Hes been taking care
of the place for almost thirty years, Kyuhyun explained.

Oh, thank you for your service, ahjussi, I said gratefully.

Anything for your family, Miss Park. But Please, come in. Its getting dark and there
are a lot of insects outside this time of day. Ill prepare dinner for you both, he said.

Ill go help you, ahjussi, I said.

Oh no need! Ill handle it, he said.

Please, it will be my pleasure to help you, I insist.

Ahjussi, please do accept her offer. She will find a way to help you even if you say
no, Kyuhyun chuckled.

Alright, he nodded. It will be faster this way anyway. Oh by the way, these are my
three sons. They help me in the vineyard when they get home from school.

The three boys, the oldest was a few years older than Kyuhyun and the youngest
was just the same age as I am, bowed in front of me in respect. Thank you for
helping your father, I said.

You can start putting the soil up now, ahjussi instructed.

Ill go help! kyuhyun announced.

Kyu~ I couldnt help but be worried.

Ill be fine, dont worry, he grinned. Enjoy cooking!

I went to the kitchen with Lee ahjussi and met his wife, Lee Youngja. She was very
cheerful.

We owe a lot to your father, Lee ahjussi told me. I did something terrible before
I stole something from your fathers house here I was desperate then. Our eldest
son was sick and we didnt have any money to bring him to a doctor and buy his
medicine. But I was caught Your father, kind as he is, didnt press charges and
even helped me get our son the things he needs. In exchange, he asked me to work
here...in the vineyard. He asked me to work temporarily til he finds someone who
can do the job. But since we felt so grateful to him, we decided to stay and work
here. He couldve put me to jail and my family couldve suffered But he sees the
good in people. Mister Cho tells me youre the same.
I smiled as I sliced the vegetables. How do you live by? Im sorry for not finding you
soon enough. I never knew where our vineyard in korea was.

When Mr Park left for Italy, he left money in a bank account for us to use. We only
take what we need, he said.

And you still have money left to this day? I asked.

Yes, he smiled. The profits of the vineyard also go there so we never ran out.

I nodded. Thats good to know.

Mister Cho also comes by often and helps us in any way he can, he said.

He does?

Yes. Often times he would come and take us out to eat in a fancy restaurant with
very delicious food. Sometimes, he would bring food here too. He also helps out a
lot in labor. He cares about the vineyard, Miss Park. He cares about it a lot. He sees
to it that the crops are healthy for harvest. He comes here whenever hes free.
Because of people like your family and Mr. Cho, we never felt greedy, he said with
a big smile.

I didnt know that I said.

When we first met Mister Cho, he said that the owner is a special person to him.
We always thought that that was the reason why he likes helping out. I dont need
to pry, and you may choose not to answer, but are you two?

Oh! No, I shook my head. I have someone else Im seeing.

Oh I see. Im sorry for asking. You just seem to be very special to Mister Cho. I
see him staring at your family portrait down the corridor before he leaves every
time that hes here.

I see

Is he a close friend of yours? he asked.

He was but we grew apart when I left for America. I think hes trying to bring us
back the way we were, I said.

To me, I think hes trying to win you over, he smiled wide.

I felt my cheeks burn. I I dont think so, I replied.

Mhm Why would he even bother helping out all these years if he doesnt care
about you? He said. Mister Cho is a good guy, Miss Park. If its possible, I think you
should give him a chance.
Yah. stop pushing our dear Miss Park to Mister Cho. If theyre meant to be, then
theyre meant to be, his wife said.

I had to chuckle. Ani, ahjumma. Its fine.

He must be bothering you. Why dont you just go and relax at the living room?
she said.

No, please, let me help. Ive been away for years and I think its only proper that I
offer a hand. Besides, I still owe you for not visiting the place ever, I replied.

Ahjussi laughed. Ahh Mr. Cho is right

About what? I asked.

You are as kind as your father, maybe even more, he smiled.

Does Kyuhyun Talk about me? I asked.

The couple both grinned wide. All the time, dear, ahjumma answered.

He does, every time hes here. Hes told us great things about you, ahjussi said.

We felt then how much he misses you and

And? I asked.

The couple looked briefly at each other. How much he loves you. They answered
together.

KYUHYUN

I patted down the soil on the ground. It was already dark but I didnt mind. Taking
care of this vineyard makes me happy. Somehow in all those years Kyesin was
gone, this vineyard seem to be where I showered my love for her.

Confused? So was I. When Im not in this vineyard, just thinking of her then would
piss me off. But when Im here, everything just miraculously goes away. I treated
this vineyard like how I shouldve treated her.

May I help? I suddenly hear a sweet voice coming from the house. I peeked and
saw Kyesin standing near the mountain of soil were supposed to spread.

Miss Park, its dark. Please go back inside, the eldest son said.
But they wouldnt let me help inside, either. Please? Im a fast learner, she
pleaded.

Alright. There are gloves inside the shed. You can borrow eommas work clothes.

What are you doing here? Youll get bitten by insects, I told her as she knelt down
to put soil on the ground.

I have to take care of this vineyard. And there are no insects out in winter, she
answered.

I laughed. She could be so stubborn sometimes. Youll get sick. Its getting really
cold. Go on and wait inside.

And you wont? She asked me.

I smiled at her. I do this all the time, Kye. Im used to it already.

She pouted. I dont get you at all. Why would you take care of this place? Its not
your responsibility.

I sighed. Youre right. Its not mine. I had a selfish motive at first I wanted to care
of it so that when you come back, I could show this beautiful place to you and
proudly say that Ive worked hard on it, and then youd be back together with me.

Thats what youre doing now, she said.

I chuckled. Well yes Kinda. But when the first harvest came...the place looked
stunning. Healthy grapes in baskets and baskets It was very healing. So I put my
first motive aside and replaced it with a new one. I now wanted to care of it and
make it more beautiful. I want these grapes to produce extraordinary wines that I
could drink and proudly say that Ive worked hard for. This vineyard undeniably
reminds me of you So when you left, I was lost and i didnt know what to do with
the love I used to give you. I found out what to do with it when I found this place.

She breathed deeply and smiled at me. I want to hug you now but Im quite dirty.
In any case, thank you. Thank you so much For taking care of it for me. I thought I
would never find this place, but Im very happy now that I know where it is.

Will you come here more often? I asked.

For sure, she nodded. It reminds me of a lot of things Kyuhyun, just like how it
reminds you of me.

It reminds you of your family, I whispered.

Yes, she smiled a bittersweet smile. It reminds me of them, of Italy

Of home?
She shook her head. Home is wherever you feel at peace and comfort. It doesnt
matter if you live in an extravagant mansion, or just a simple makeshift house.
When we were still together, I thought my home was always with you.

If you would let me, Id like to make that happen again, I told her.

She smiled at me. Kyuhyun, Ive already chosen Dean.

I breathed deeply. Does he feel like home to you?

She bit her lip. He will. Eventually.

How about me? Do I still feel like home to you? I asked.

Her hazel eyes stared at mine for seconds. I knew she was pondering about her
answer. She breathed. Thats a secret.

There was suddenly a bright flash from the sky and it roared, echoing off in the
fields. I look up. Water droplets fell on my face. Kye, get inside. Its raining, I said.

How about you? she asked.

Ill follow, I smiled. Go, its getting worse.

Ill wait for you, she told me.

I sighed. I stood up, leaving my work behind. I took my gloves off and held her by
her hand, pulling her inside the shed. Why do you always have to be so stubborn?

She laughed at me as we both took off our work clothes. Its called being
considerate, Kyuhyun.

I watched her as she washed her hands. Are you like this with Dean too? I
whispered.

She looked at me. Yeah, of course.

And how does he handle it?

Dean is a very patient guy. But he hes not like you, Kyuhyun. He doesnt have a
temper Hes so... nice. I mean, youre nice too but Dean, hes another story,
she told me.

You must be lucky then, huh, I chuckled bitterly.

Hes too nice, Kyuhyun. Too nice. Sometimes I wish he isnt.

I dont think hes too nice, I said.

She laughed. Of course you wouldnt.

Thats not what I meant I said as we walked back in the house. You may not
notice it but he is nothing compared to you. Youre my definition of too kind. And
please, take that as a compliment.

She nodded. I will.

Oh! Just in time you two! Dinner is ready, ahjussi welcomed us in.

Thank you so much for preparing food for us, ahjussi, i said.

Oh, its really nothing! Its the least we could do, he replied.

I pulled out a chair for Kyesin and then sat beside her. This looks delicious, she
said. It really does. Fried chicken and fresh buttered vegetables.

Were sorry its just very simple, ahjumma said,

No, no, its great, ahjumma. Thank you, kye said.

She isnt a picky eater, I chuckled as I explained.

Ah well then, Ill just leave you two alone now, ahjumma and ahjussi bowed before
walking away.

Wait, wont you join us? Kyesin asked,

Miss Park, go eat ahead. We still have work to finish, ahjumma said.

But--

Kye, let them be, I said, squeezing her hand. They just want to give us some
privacy.

Oh

See? You are my definition of too nice.

Right, she laughed.

I took a plate. Chicken? I offered.

Yes please. Thank you. I put a slice on her plate and served her vegetables too.

She immediately dug in after saying a silent prayer, with her cheeks full of food. She
looked really really cute.
I stood up from my seat and went to the wooden cabinet. I took a bottle of wine and
the bottle opener and went back to the table.

Is that the product of the vineyard? She asked.

Yes, I answered with a smile.

Wow! The ones you harvested?

No, I chuckled. You have to wait four more years for those.

Oh She swirled her glass, watching the wine spin inside like a whirlpool. She
took the glass and placed it by her nose, smelled it before smiling. She took a sip.
She had the same expression as I had when I first had the wine.

Its good, isnt it? I smiled.

She smiled back at me. How much does this cost?

Around 15,000 won, I replied.

Its excellent for its price, she said.

It is, I agreed.

Do they sell these in supermarkets?

Ive only seen a few that carry this, I said. Most are sold in the area, and only a
few are distributed to the city. Restaurants nearby all serve this wine. The vineyard
is a little small compared to big companies so only a few bottles are produced a
year.

She pouted. Im gonna distribute these in big supermarkets to increase sales

Then, Im gonna buy the land next to this place to expand.

I laughed. If thats the case, youll need more people to work on the vineyard.

I have you, she replied. Ill work on it too on my free time. Maybe I could ask help
from Dean too

I bit my lip upon hearing that guys name. I never felt this before - this pain of
hearing someone elses name come out of your loves mouth. I took a deep breath
before looking at her again.

Im sorry she whispered.

I sighed and tried to give her my best smile. I slowly crept to put her hand in mine.
Can you Can you not say his name when Im around? Please? Just try not to
Im sorry, Kyuhyun, she said. But I already told you, I chose him. Isnt it hard for
you to be around me? Why are you doing this to yourself?

Because I love you. I mean it, I said. I know you still care for me, otherwise you
wouldnt come with me here, and apologize for saying the guys name So as long
as you still have even an ounce of love for me, Ill be waiting. Ill prove it to you that
I am still the man you fell in love with.

She sighed and looked outside. I think we should go back now. The weathers not
looking nice. I also have plans with with someone.

I sighed, squeezing her hand. Okay I stood up and started clearing the table.

I need to use the restroom, she whispered and then disappeared.

Ahjussi suddenly appeared to take the plates from me. Ill do that, Mister Cho.
Please just sit, he said.

Thanks, ahjussi, I said.

Did you get her back? he whispered.

I chuckled bitterly. No not yet, ahjussi. But Ill never stop trying.

She loves you, he said.

She loves everyone she knows, I replied.

Ah, Mister Cho, do you know the three kinds of love? he asked. I shook my head.
Well, one is agape. That is unconditional, selfless and sacrificial love. That is what
you are perhaps pertaining to. The second one is philia, the friendship kind of love.
And the last one is eros. The romantic kind of love. When she looks at you, thats
the kind of love I see. She may be hiding it, or controlling her feelings, but I know
thats what she feels for you. I know, because its the same kind of love I see from
you when you look at her. Thats why you shouldnt give up on Miss Park. Plus,
youve already worked hard on this vineyard for years. I wouldnt want to see it to
be someone elses land... someone who didnt work hard on it someone doesnt
deserve it.

I chuckled. Thanks, ahjussi. I stood up from my seat and went down the corridor,
like what I would always do before leaving this place. I would stare at Kyesins
family portrait for minutes, admiring her hazel eyes. Even in a painting, her eyes
could captivate me, but nothing beats the real thing. She looked really happy in the
painting. Its been awhile since I saw her that happy. In fact, I havent seen her that
happy ever since she came back. Maybe she is just when Im not around

Ahjussi says you always look at this painting when youre here, I suddenly heard
Kyesin say behind me. I spun around.
Ready to go? I asked.

She nodded. Ive already said goodbye to ahjussi and ahjumma.

Alright, lets go, I said. As I opened the door, a flash of lightning and a loud roar of
thunder came echoing. I didnt expect it to rain today, let alone this hard.

Me neither, Kyesin whispered. Do you have an umbrella?

I shook my head. Ill go ask ahjussi.

I went to the kitchen where ahjumma was cleaning. Oh, Mister Cho, you havent
left yet?

No, ahjumma. Its raining really hard outside. Do you have any umbrella? I asked.

Hmm.. Im not sure she took a look at their cupboard. Im sorry, theres none.
We usually use raincoats.

Ah, I see.. Thank you anyway.

Yes of course, Mr. Cho. Have a safe trip back home.

I nodded. Thank you.

I went back to the living room. Were you able to borrow?

No, I shook my head. They didnt have any. Just use my coat. The cars not that
far away anyway.

She pouted at me. What will you use, then?

Ill just run, I said. Now come on.

Im not leaving here until I know you wont get rained on. You have schedules to
attend to, Kyuhyun! she said.

I sighed. Ill be fine.

Do you remember when we went to Gwanghwamun?

I sighed again. That was your fault and yes, I do remember.

See? That might happen again, she said.

Kyesin, Im old now. I wont get sick over a few minutes of being under the rain. In
any case, its you Im worried for, okay? You get sick faster than I do, I said. I took
my coat off and put it on her head.

But Kyesin, stubborn as ever, took the coat from her head and shared it with me.
There was no way the two of us could fit, so we both were getting wet. But shes still
as kind as ever. She always puts my needs above hers. Even after hurting her, and
all these years apart, her love for me never faded.

Youre one stubborn girl, I said. I took the coat from her, putting it back on her
head and wrapping it around her. I bent down and swoop her into my arms, carrying
her back to the car.

Kyuhyun, put me down! she said.

This is better, I said, smirking at her. Ill be fine. Dont worry about me. Were
almost there anyway.

She rolled her eyes at me. Fine. Its about time those muscles you grew into were
put into use.

I laughed. I didnt work out to get girls Besides wanting to stay healthy, I wanted
to expand my chest

To have more air capacity?

Yes It has helped me a lot in musicals, I replied.

Well I like it, she said, looking at me. It suits you. You dont look so fragile
anymore.

I chuckled, putting her down as I unlocked the car. She quickly got in and I ran to my
side. Hair was a bit wet, dripping down on my face, but it was fine. As long as she
was dry.

I revved the engine and turned the heater on. Kyesin took a handkerchief from her
bag and handed it to me. Here, oppa

My heart nearly broke out of my ribcage. She hasnt called me that for years. I
stared at her and got lost in her hazel eyes, speechless.

She sighed and wiped my face. I dont want you to get sick any more than you
want me to be okay, she said. She took my hands from the steering wheel and
dried each one.

Kye. I softly said as she wiped my hands.

Yeah? she asked.

Youre my home, I said, holding her soft little hand in mine. You, my family, the
members you all are.

She bit her lip then sat straight. She put her seatbelt on. I think we should go now.
This storm is getting worse. Lets go before I do or say something I might regret.

I sighed in defeat. I put my seatbelt on and drove back home.

We were already on the expressway to Seoul when a couple of police cars have
barricaded the way in both sides. Whats going on? I asked.

I dont know, she replied worriedly. I slowed down to talk to one of the police
officers.

Officer, what seems to be the problem? Cant we get to the other side? I asked.

Were sorry for the inconvenience sir, but the storm knocked over a lamp post and
blocked the whole expressway. You cant pass this way to Seoul, he explained.

Oh Cant you remove it?

The crane to carry the post will be arriving in a couple of hours. This storm is
bringing damage to different places and right now, a lot of roads are obstructed.

I see. Is there any other way to Seoul besides this one? I asked.

There is one but you will have to take the country side. Make a u-turn from here, go
about twelves miles from the end of the expressway and then make a right. You
wont need to pay tolls anymore as you exit. There are also street signs and markers
to help you find your way home. But its a bit dark and the roads are narrow. It
would take you a couple of hours drive too. I suggest you just sleep in for the night
if you dont need to get back urgently.

Alright, thanks officer. I rolled my window up. I turned the car around and went
back in the from where we came from. What time are you meeting with

Nine, she replied.

That was half an hour from now. Oh Im sorry I didnt know that this was going
to happen.

Its okay, Kyu. Its not your fault, she said.

I promise Ill take you home as fast as I could.

You know what? I think the officer is right. By the time we exit this expressway, it
would be already ten in the evening. Why dont we go find some place to sleep
there? I dont think its safe to drive in this weather too, she said.
But what about

Dont worry. Ill explain everything. This isnt your fault, she said.

Are you sure about this?

Yes, she nodded.

Alright.

I better call him now before he starts to worry.

Kyesin took out her phone and dialed his number. He didnt take long to answer.
They spoke in English, most of it I didnt understand but I was sure she was
explaining to him that shell be fine with me.

She breathed deeply and then handed me the phone. He wants to talk to you.

Hello? I breathed over the line.

Hello, Kyuhyun. Good evening, he greeted like a CEO. Ill make this quick since
youre driving. I understand the circumstances are beyond your control, so please
do not worry. Youre not violating any of my terms, for now. Since I have no way to
reach Kyesin, I would like to ask you to please take care of her for me,.

Of course I will, I said, temper rising again.

Good. PLease be aware that my warning is still in place. If she calls me crying, you
know what I would do.

I know that. You dont have to remind me. I tried to keep calm.

Im glad you recognize your limitations. Thank you. Well then, I have nothing else
to say. Please give the phone back to Kyesin. Have a safe drive, Mister Cho, he
said.

Here, I said, giving the phone back. She took it from me and they talked for a
couple of minutes more.

Im sorry, she whispered after hanging up. I know you dont like him, but think of
it this way, what would you do if you were in his place and he was in yours? He just
wants to protect me, just like you do.

I sighed. She was right. I guess I dont like him since he has you, and I dont.

She looked at me. Youve always been unable to control your temper when youre
jealous.
I chuckled. Yeah thats right.

She looked outside the window. Though Ive always found you cute when youre
jealous. Scary, when youve reached your limit but cute.

Do I look cute now? I asked.

At the corner of my eye, I saw her purse her lips. Yes, she answered in a whisper.
Even in the dark I knew she was blushing. But at least now, you have the guts to
admit it when you really are jealous.

Well theres really no point of denying it now.. Seeing how I act and all.

She laughed. Right.

Dont you believe me? Dont you believe it when I tell you that I love you? I asked.

Its not that I dont I just dont want to she whispered, looking away.

My heart broke. Why?

Because I dont know whether or not that will fade again, she answered hesitantly.

It wont, Kye, because it never has. I know you dont believe me right now, but
Im telling you the truth, I said.

Do you think Im not hurting, Kyuhyun? Do you think it doesnt hurt to give up
someone you really love?

My hands clenched on the steering wheel. Youre wrong. I know how you feel. I can
see the pain in your eyes every time you look at me. And I will never forgive myself
for causing you that pain. But Im sure I am also the only one who can ease you of
that pain, Kye. Only if you trust me again.

I glanced briefly at her as her sad eyes looked at me. Sometimes, I wish I was back
in high school When things were so simple she whispered.

I sighed. Im sorry Im sorry. We shouldnt be talking about these things on a day

like this. Its your birthday. You should be happy and celebrating.

At the corner of my eye, I saw her smiling. Id rather repair my relationship with
you than go out on a binge and celebrate on my birthday.

Oh

Well I could proudly say that its much better now than when I came back, she
said. Kyu, Id like us to stay friends.
You know I want something much more than that, I said. But at least thats
something closer than what I really want.

She laughed at me, not because what I said was absurd, but because she found it
cute. I knew because Ive known her for years. I know her antics and the way she
reacts. Oh, Kyuhyun, I give up, she chuckled.

I wont, I said, glancing quickly at her to give her a smile.

She chuckled, shook her head and looked out of the window. Do you think this rain
will stop soon?

Hmm I hope so. The roads are starting to get flooded, I said.

I didnt even think it would rain today.

Me neither, I replied.

Oh she muttered, looking at me.

What? I asked.

She looked at me some more for a couple of seconds before shaking her head.
Nothing. I just found something curious

What is it?

Its too early to say it. I might just be presumptuous.

Presumptuous about what?

She sighed. Do you think its a bit odd that when we go out, alone, sudden harsh
weathers come our way? But no its happened only twice. It must be just
coincidence

What do you mean?

Remember when I went to Donghaes apartment to work on your data and now
this

Oh I saw it now. She was right. A snow storm stopped us from parting ways
that night And now this rain Do you think fate is playing with us?

She shrugged. I dont know My logic-reliant mind prohibits me to believe in fate.

Do you believe in those stuff?

Hmm.. not really. I believe in God. So I believe that if things are supposed to
happen, they will happen, I answered.
She nodded her head. Well, lets just say its coincidence for now. But if it happens
for the third time, then I concede.

Alright, fine, I chuckled.

We fell silent after that. I drove while she just looked out the window. She was quite
in a good mood, no hint of annoyance or irritation at all. After a few minutes, we
exited the expressway. There are a couple of small hotels in the area. I headed for
the most decent looking one.

Wait, let me go check if there are any rooms available before you go down.
Someone might recognize you there, she said.

Oh. okay. Wait, take my coat-- I tried to say but she already opened the door and
went down the car.

I watched as Kyesin ran to the hotel. After a couple of minutes, she came back. You
shouldve taken my coat. Look at you. Now youre all wet, I scolded.

They dont have any vacant rooms anymore, Kyu. There are apparently a lot whos
also stuck like us, she said.

No worries. We could try another hotel, I said.

We mustve went to ten hotels but none had any vacant rooms. Kyesin was already
drenched from the rain. I was already desperate to find some place we could stay at
so she could finally rest.

The next hotel we went to was small. It didnt look grand but it wasnt cheap like a
motel would look like either. It looked more of a family owned inn. Kyesin went down
again in the rain to check. She went back after a couple of minutes.

They have a room available but only one, she said.

I sighed and look at her. Wanna take this one? I could sleep on the couch or the
floor. Or I could even sleep in the car.

She looked at me worriedly. Kyuhyun

Weve been to so many hotels now and all of them are booked. What do you think
is the chance that we would find one with two vacant rooms? By the time we realize
that we cant, this hotels room has gone, I said.

I know I know its almost impossible but

Dont think of my image, Kye. I can hide. I promise. I can go to three ddeokbokki
restaurants in Korea in a week without anyone recognizing me. Please, Kye. Youre
soaking wet and I bet your head must be aching by now, I argued.
Are you sure its really alright? she asked.

Yes, I nodded. I promise. If you dont want me with you in the room, I could
always look for another one or sleep here in my car. I dont mind, really.

She sighed. No theres probably a couch in the room. You can sleep there. As you
said, its might be hard to find another hotel with a vacant room, and I cant let you
sleep in the car. Stay here. Ill check us in. Ill come back for you when everything is
set.

She went out of the car again and into the hotel. I fixed my hair and put on my
spectacles, taking other precautions that I wont get recognized. She came back
after a couple of minutes. I turn the engine off, went out my car and ran inside the
hotel. Keeping my head down, I followed Kye hurried to our room.

The room was bigger than what I expected. In the middle was a queen sized bed
and on the side was a long couch.

I asked for extra blankets and luckily, this is their last one, she said, handing one
to me. You can have the other pillow too.

Thanks, I said. As I took the pillow from her, I happen to accidentally graze her
hand. She felt warm. I put the pillow down on the couch and went towards her. I put
my hand on her forehead. She closed her eyes, sighing in defeat. She was trying to
hide the fact that she was already starting to get a fever. Kye, go take a bath. Its
not good to just get soaked in the rain, I instructed.

I have nothing to wear, she replied.

I took my coat off and my thick sweater, lucky that I wear at least two layers of
clothing always. I wore four today - my coat, my sweater, my buttoned shirt, and a
wifebeater.

Wear these for the meantime, I said. Well hang your clothes overnight. They
should be fine when we wake up in the morning.

Wont you get cold? she asked.

I shook my head. Ill be fine. Dont worry about me. Go on. Youre getting sicker by
the second.

She nodded, probably too sick and tired to fight with me. You may sleep ahead if
you want to. Thank you for lending me your clothes. Good night, Kyuhyun.

Good night, I replied and nodded and she went in the bathroom. I unbuttoned my
shirt to make it loose. I turn the lights off and lay down on the couch to sleep.
Actually, I didnt mind where I was sleeping. I could literally fall asleep anywhere.
Literally anywhere. But this time I couldnt. Not until I know that Kyesin is well and
resting.
I waited for her to come out of the bathroom. But I kept my eyes closed. I knew if I
had looked at her wearing my clothes, I could snap anytime, jeopardizing my
chance to be with her now that Mr CEO has put up some rules. I heard Kyesin close
the bathroom door.

And then I felt her carrying my head, putting it on a more comfortable position on
the pillow. I felt her fix my blanket, making sure that my feet are under it. And then,
I felt her brush my cheeks and hair with her warm hand. I had fun today. It was a
really beautiful birthday, Kyuhyun. Thank you for your gifts and thank you for
making me happy today, she whispered. Goodnight, my love. Sleep well.

I want to open my eyes and kiss her. I wanted to tell her I love her. But I know it
would be wrong. I was trying very hard to restrain myself and behave.

I heard her climb on the bed and spread the blanket. I listened until I couldnt hear
her moving anymore. She was finally asleep. I, too, can finally sleep.

KkkkKkkkKyyyyuuuu I heard someone call me, waking me up. It was still very
dark. I check my phone. It was two in the morning.

Kkkkyyyyuuuu I heard it again.

I stood up and checked on Kyesin.

Hey, Im here, i whispered sweetly. She was wrapped in a blanket and her eyes
were shut tight.

Ccaannn yyyouuu tttuurn up the hhheeaaat? her teeth clattered as she spoke.
She felt cold.

Yes, of course, I replied. I took the remote for the heater and tried to raise the
temperature but it was already as high as it could go. Kye, this is as high as it could
get. How are you feeling? I put my hand on her forehead. She was burning hot!

Iii feeeeeel cccoooooold she said.

I took my blanket and a dry towel from the bathroom and put it on her. Hows
that? I asked.

Sssstill. Cccooold she replied.

I looked around. There was nothing else to keep her warm. I sighed. Im sorry, I
dont have any other choice I whispered as I lay down beside her and went under
her covers.
Kyesin immediately put her arms around me, pressing her cheek on my chest. She
smiled. Ssoo wwaaarm Th.thaaank yyyoouu she said.

I wrapped my arms around her tight. Do you feel better? I asked.

She nodded.

May I stay here?

She nodded again.

Kyuhyun she could already speak clearly after a few minutes. Thank you.

Anything for you, of course, I replied.

The answer is yes she whispered.

Huh? Answer to what?

When you asked me if you still felt like home to me the answer is yes. She
looked at me.

My heart beat fast. As I look into her hazel eyes, I cant help but feel like how we
were before. My arms wrapped themselves tighter around her. My head inched
closer to hers. I want to kiss her.

Our lips were just literally an inch away, and our foreheads connected. She closed
her eyes. I want to kiss her.

But I knew I couldnt. I cant take the risk that I might not see her again if I kiss her
now. My lips were aching for hers, but theres nothing I could do.

I sighed. I love you, I whispered. I love you but you know I cant do it.

She pressed her face back to my chest. Well, at least now I know that you really
are serious about getting me back.

I brushed her hair with my hand. Would you like me to sing you to sleep? Just like
before?

Yes, please, she answered.

Alright. Good night, love, I said.

Hey Kyu

Yeah? I replied.

She inched closer to me. I love you, too, she whispered before closing her eyes.
My heart went frantic! Haywire! I know she could feel it since her head is on my
chest. She chuckled as well.

I honestly havent felt like this in such a long time. Only she makes me feel this way.

I breathed deeply to calm myself down and started singing one of the songs I sing
to her before. With her eyes closed, she smiled, and slowly drifted to sleep.

Kyesin has always been a very independent girl. She likes to do things on her own
and avoids pretty much asking for help from anyone. But she needed me now. And
it felt great. It felt like shes slowly trusting me again, and thats good.

For a moment, I could pretend that she is mine again. For a moment, I could feel her
warmth and her love again - one of the best feelings in the world. And for a
moment, everything was perfect. This is more than what I could ask for.
Chapter 17: That Man

KYUHYUN

It was warm. Very warm.

I opened my eyes, taking in the surroundings. It still looked dark outside. I reach for
my phone at the bedside table to check the time. It was still seven in the morning.

Any fan of mine would know that I usually dont wake up early in the morning.
Manager hyungs even have a hard time waking me up. Well, who doesnt like to
sleep anyway?

Somehow, today, I didnt feel groggy. Most of the time I would be in a bad mood if
someone had woken me up this early, especially on my day off. But perhaps I was in
a good mood because my first love is sleeping in my arms.

Kyesin always looked beautiful. There wasnt a time when she didnt look beautiful
to me. I brush her hair back with my hand, and lightly touched her cheek as she
peacefully slept in my arms. I put my hand on her forehead to check her
temperature. She wasnt as hot as last night anymore. That was good.

I slowly move away from her to get up. But her hands clung onto my shirt, pulling
me back to her.

Shhh Ill be here, dont worry. I soothed, brushing her hair with my hand
repeatedly until she calms down and has gone back to sleep.

I slowly took her hands off me and stood up. I went to the coffee table and called
the front desk to order breakfast. I then opened her bag and took some medicine
out of her emergency kit. The food arrived after an hour. I was extra careful that the
bell boy wouldnt recognize me. I set the food up on the table.

I crawled back to the bed and lay beside Kyesin. I lightly brush her cheek. Kye
love time to wake up, I whispered.

She groaned, shutting her eyes tighter. Cute.

The food is gonna go cold, I said as I leaned closer, dawdling our noses.

She kept her eyes closed but she smiled wide. Her hands crept to me. What time is
it?

Its 8am.

Too early! She complained, facing the other way.

Kyesin, please wake up. You have to eat so you can drink your medicine, I said.

Medicine? she asked. Her eyes fluttered open. I kept quiet as she slowly took in
her surroundings and remember where she was. She gently pulled away from me.

My heart ached a bit, seeing her do this. But I have to understand. I stood up from
her bed and offered my hand. Come on. I ordered pancakes for you, I said.
Pancakes, with her daily hot choco, were always her favorite breakfast.

Her face lit up. Alright let me just go wash up.

I nodded. Okay. Make it quick. Else your hot chocolate wont be hot anymore.

She chuckled and stood up. I went to the coffee table and checked my phone as I
waited.

There were hundreds of messages already for me.

One is from manager hyung. Fans know his as mask manager. He was just
checking up on me, making sure I wasnt doing anything stupid that could ruin my
image. I assured him I was fine and I was enjoying my short vacation.

Five messages were from Siwon. He was asking where I was, worried that I may be
victimized by the storm and in danger. One of which, and I quote, KyuKyu, please
reply! If youre in danger I will get my chopper and save you! Please. I just need to
know youre okay.

Hyung can be too overprotective sometimes. He, alongside Donghae hyung, was
the one who accepted me wholeheartedly when I joined. He thinks of me as his
baby he needs to take care of. I personally dont mind, but sometimes hes just
being too protective.

So I replied to his message explaining my current situation, minus the fact that Im
with Kyesin right now. I know he would freak out and scold me over the phone about
chastity and self control. But I assured him I was perfectly fine, and that he doesnt
need to send anyone over to pick me up.

One message is from eomma, asking where I was and if I was okay. Apparently the
storm brought quite a number of destruction. Like others, I assured her saying that I
was happy where I was and Ill be home as soon as the storm clears.

The other messages were from our group chat. Most of them were from Leeteuk
hyung, asking for everyones status and current whereabouts because of the storm.
Siwon hyung, as usual, was overreacting of how he couldnt contact me and that I
wasnt answering my phone. Heechul hyung assured him I was fine, and he said he
knows for a fact that I wouldnt want to be disturbed. Perhaps he knew Kye and I
were meeting up? I dont know.
Eunhyuk and Donghae hyungs were their normal clingy and somewhat flirty selves.
which was actually the reason why our chatroom was flooded. Heechul hyung
playfully suggested that they get a room for themselves and stop using our
chatroom to just chat each other.

Oh its still raining I suddenly heard someone whisper.

My head snapped up to look at her. But as soon as I do, blood flowed to my cheeks
making me blush. She was still wearing my sweater, but since it was too big for her,
It actually looked like a short dress. Her fair legs glowed. I knew it. I knew that if I
were to see her in my clothes, Id have a hard time concentrating and controlling
myself. I wanted to have her. I want to stand up and charge towards her, and kiss
her and make her fall to the bed and press my body against her and

I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at the food on the table. I have to
control myself. I have to show her that i know shes somebody elses but I can wait
patiently to have her back.

Yeah I replied. She went to the table and sat in front of me. She smiled as she
looked hungrily at the food. Kyesin, like me, is always happy whenever theres food.
I asked for extra syrup, I said. Thats the way she likes her pancakes.

Thanks, she smiled at me. You remembered.

How could I not? Youre the only one I know who drowns her pancake in syrup.

She chuckled. Its how my mother does it her smile turned bittersweet. I
reached for her hand and cautiously gave it a gentle squeeze. Im fine, she told
me with a reassuring smile. Now that youve shown me that vineyard, I dont think
Ill be that homesick anymore. Thanks to you.

Well, you can go there anytime you like. Ahjussi is really kind. The whole family is,
I told her.

I will, she nodded.

She then breathed deeply and closed her eyes, silently saying a prayer like she
always does before eating. She dug in quite a few moments later.

How is it? I asked.

Its okay, she said as she ate. Not restaurant material but its good. Needs a little
less water on the batter though.

I chuckled. I took a slice from her pancake and popped it in my mouth. Youre
right.

Hey! If you wanted pancakes then you shouldve ordered one for yourself!
I just wanted to know if they were any good, I chuckled.

She pouted at me. Cute. How is your omelet? Regretting now that you didnt get
pancakes, are you?

Nope, I smiled teasingly at her. Their omelettes were wonderful.

She rolled her eyes at me adorably. Whatever. I really like these pancakes.

Youre too gullible sometimes, I laughed, slicing a bit of my omelette and putting it
on her plate.

She then smiled wide at me. And youre too easy to trick.

You know I could never say no to you, I said.

Yeah okay, whatever, she muttered, rolling her eyes again. Not now, at least.

I was becoming my old self again the simple Cho Kyuhyun, not the idol Kyuhyun
nor the artist Kyuhyun. Just Cho Kyuhyun. It was like I was back in my high school
days, where life was relatively simple and easy. Back when I didnt have to worry
about work or money or my image. Back when she was still mine. I miss those days
the good old days.

I smiled at her. Go on and finish your food. Well leave as soon as youre ready. I
assume your boyfriend is already on edge and is ready to barge in here to fetch you
any second now if we dont hurry up. Hes been calling all morning.

He has? How come I didnt hear anything?

I turned your phone in silent mode. I didnt want anything to disturb your sleep
since you were sick. Im sorry, I replied.

She shook her head and softly smiled at me. No, I understand. Ill give him a call
before we leave.
All done? I asked as I watch her set her utensils down.
Yup, she answered with a big smile.
Good, now drink this, I said, handing out a tablet. Its for your fever.
She took the medicine from my hand and furrowed her brows at it. When did you
buy this? Did you step out? What if someone saw you? she asked.
I got it from your bag. Dont you always carry around emergency medicine and first
aid? I replied.
Oh how could you even remember that she muttered as she drank the blue
pill.
Even though it has been a long time, I still remember a lot of things about you,
Kye, I whispered.
She sighed. Suddenly, her phone vibrated. That must be Dean, she whispered and
excused herself. She took her phone and put it on her ear. They were talking in
English, again, and there were only a few phrases I could comprehend. No, no, I do
understand quite a bit of English big thanks to Henry for that but once the
person talks too fast, its quite hard for me. I tried my hardest to grasp what she
was saying.
Hello, she breathed. Yes, Im fine No he isnt her eyes suddenly shifted to
me. Then she said some things I couldnt understand. I think well be leaving in a
few Alright See you. Bye.
Why didnt you tell him that were together now? I asked, sensing that she hid it
from him.
She sighed. If I told him, hed be angry at us both. And for sure, hes going to drop
everything and come here to fetch me. I dont want him out in this crazy whether
because of this.
You shouldnt be hiding these kinds of things to him, though, I said.
I thought you didnt like him, she said.
I breathed deeply. I dont like him because he has you. But Im afraid youll only get
more upset once he finds out that you hid this from him.
I wont be because he wont find out, she said.
I pressed my lips. Alright. Go change so we can leave as soon as possible. Theyve
probably cleared the roads by now. Ill check us out.
Are you crazy? Once they swipe your card, theyd know youre here, she told me.
Ill check us out. Go down after five minutes after Ive left and wait in the car.
She went to the bathroom and put her clothes back on. She headed out the room.
Wait, I called. Please cover yourself with this when you go out. I dont want you
to get rained on again. I handed her my coat.
But Kyu
Please, stop being stubborn for a minute and listen to me, I said. Your boyfriend
will be very upset if you come home with a fever I would be too.
She sighed. Alright, Ill meet you in the car. Please be careful.
I always am, I replied.
She left the room and I left after 5 minutes just as she instructed. I made my way to
the car, ducking my head down to be careful not to be recognized by anyone.
Kyesin came a few minutes later, using my coat to shield her from the rain like I told
her to.
Thanks, she said, handing my coat back with a smile.
Keep it for a while. Put it on in case you feel cold, I said. Ready to go?
Yes, she nodded, putting my coat on her lap.
I drove my car off the parking lot and into the highway. It has been a pretty quiet
ride up until my song, At Gwanghwamun started playing on the radio. I changed the
frequency.
Why did you do that? Kyesin asked.
I thought youd be sick hearing my voice already, I replied.
I would never! So put it back, she said.
I put the radio back on the frequency channel playing my song. Kyesin looked out
the window and smiled as she listened.
Do you really like it? I asked as soon as the song was over.
Of course! I love all your songs, she answered with a smile.
I shut the radio off. Alright, whats your favorite song of mine then?
Just your songs, or including those youve covered?
Including my covers, I said.
Among all your solo songs?
Yes.
Hmm Its so hard to choose, she said.
I laughed and rolled my eyes. Just choose one.
Hmm Perhaps vocally ? Even though I love you? she replied.
From The Days musical?
Yeah, she nodded. I watched one of your fansites videos.
Thats pretty recent, isnt it? I said. Have you watched it live yet?
I would love to, but the tickets are sold out, she said and pouted. Ive always
wanted to come and watch you perform in your musicals. I havent been to any.
You were actually the reason as to why I started doing musicals, I said. Back
when you let me watch Mozart
Its pretty amazing to see how far youve come in your career, Kyuhyun.
From the not-so-recent ones, which one is your favorite? I asked.
You have a lot of great songs, Kyuhyun. Its really hard to pick, she said.
Alright, give me a few you like. Ill sing a part of them for you, since you havent
been into any of my musicals. But please dont tell me you like them all.
But I do, she laughed. I took my eyes off the road for a second to glare at her.
Alright, alright. Ill name a few remarkable ones. Hmm well, Etude of Memories
would definitely be on that list.
From Immortal Songs 2?
Yes, she nodded. I like how Ahra eonnie played her violin alongside your
performance. To me, it was actually the first song where you started to show your
true potential as a theater singer.
I cleared my throat.
You say you cant last any longer
With an empty smile, you lean on my shoulders
Though the eyes are shut
That you can say it now
That your sad eyes
hurt my heart
Tell me
If I can just enter your heart
How much meaning can the childish me become of?
As many days go by
When my heart becomes worn out
Inside my heart
The vanishing memories of you
come find me again
I will remember them, wont I?
Inside those dreams of the future that have grown too big
The fading memories of you
Will I remember them again?
Okay. Whats next?
Hmmm Oh!! I know! Do you still remember Kanade?
Of course, he smiled.
From the day that you appeared before my eyes
Everything seemed closer to me
The morning, lights, tears, and singing voices
You gave me something that shines bright
Memories that I cant control are in my voice
Ill send them out to the city where you are, far away
If theres a song like this one there
Then we can be linked to one another, wherever we try to go
Alright, what else?
Kyuhyun, I really cant pick. Just sing whichever you like, she chuckled. Whatever
it may be, for sure Ill love it anyway.
I smiled. She has always believed in me and my talents. Im such a fool for letting
her go. Im stupid and very bad person for getting mad at her. I want her back. She
was, no, she is everything to me. But it seems like every time I take a step closer
she takes two steps back.
I still love you, Park Kyesin.
KYESIN
Kyuhyuns caramel voice echoed inside the car as we made our way back to Seoul.
Yesterday has been great. I thought I would regret spending my birthday with him,
but I was wrong. He knew me too well that he gave me the things I love the most
something about my family.
I looked at him, happily singing and feeling every word of the song. He has turned
the radio off for me to enjoy his voice fully. He has always loved singing anyway. I
remember his mom used to tell me that during family trips, he would sing in the car
for the whole duration of the trip. He obviously still does that until now.
Alright, what else? he asked.
Kyuhyun, I really cant pick. Just sing whichever you like. Whatever it may be, for
sure Ill love it anyway, I replied. I wasnt exaggerating.
He smiled and opened his lips to sing again.
The wind blows through your hair. The soft sunlight.
Everything is the same except youre not here.
The person who told me, Everything is up to you.
Eventually the people you love deeply will disappear.
Thats how life works.
Nothing in my memories is absolutely perfect.
I love you, but I feel so much pain. I want to cry all day.
I cant forget you. You still live in my heart.
The blue sky swallows all my overwhelming feelings.
It wont reach you, so like a long-gone star, the light wanders aimlessly.
In the same way you face reality after you wake up from your dreams,
we can move forward by forgetting.
But we wish for a person who will prove otherwise.
I dont know how to erase the promises, the scars, and the memories.
An old photograph eventually fades, but our hearts dont work like that.
We grow older by experiencing pain.
If that moment is now, lll move forward and express my feelings
until the day comes when I can look back to the long track of my footsteps,
open that door, and say, Everything worked out fine.
When we lose that one precious thing, we think everything is over,
but thats because we cant live without them.
We assure ourselves by loving someone
that our heart is beating that we are alive.
I love you. I love you. I loved you too much.
Ive been listening to the sounds that make me forget everything else.
The blue sky swallows all my overwhelming feelings.
It wont reach you, so like a long-gone star, the light wanders aimlessly.
Ahhh Zanzou by Flumpool, is it? I asked.
Yes, youre good, he chuckled. Do you know where is it from?
Hmmm Perhaps that KRY Winter Concert?
Right! he laughed. Then he turned melancholic. I was thinking of you when I sang
just now
Oh
Now that I think about it there were quite a number of songs I want to sing to you
now... He glanced at me but I couldnt say anything. He then started singing again.
Please do not remember the promise that we made by kissing after we broke up,
Your forever is no longer mine,
Silently nod my head down made the words stuck at my throat.
Your smile and your happiness is not because I loved too much or think too much,
I can feel that he is more suitable,
After letting love go I will pretend to be cold and say break up before you.
Please forgive me forgive me for being not mature,
Not loving you is just an excuse so that you can leave me,
Please forgive me for being selfish, wanna make you mine,
Loneliness makes me suffer but in return you can get a better life.
Please do not remember the promise that we made by kissing after we broke up,
Your forever is no longer mine,
Silently nod my head down made the words stuck at my throat.
Loved, hated, cried and laughed
Kissed your weakness before
But I'm actually a coward comparing to other people.
Please forgive me because I have to pretend that I've loved the wrong person,
Don't let the time turn back because I'm afraid I can't say it out,
Please forgive me for not explain much, heartache,
Nothing left to wish, forget me actually love really sacrifices
After hurt then I realize.
I could feel tears in my eyes, just waiting to fall. His voice sounded raw with so
much emotions. His lyrics it felt like he meant every one of them.
Forgive me, by Jam Hsiao I whispered.
Yes, thats right. I mean it, though. Every single word, he said.
Youre going to make me cry, I said, trying to chuckle and stop my tears.
Have I ever made you cry? In one of my songs, I mean, he asked.
When you sang That Man, definitely. You used to be so technique driven when you
sing. But when I heard you sing That Man I felt that it just floods with emotions.
Your singing after that has improved a great factor.
Does it really feel that way?
I nodded vehemently. I cried the first time I heard you sing it.
He then breathed deeply and let his voice come out naturally.
One man loves you
That man loves you wholeheartedly
He follows you around like a shadow everyday
That man is laughing and crying
Just how muchhow much more do I have to gaze at you alone
This love that came like the wind
This beggar-like love
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearera little more
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back
I who love you am next to you now That man is crying.
That man is timid
So he learned how to laugh
That man has many stories that he can't even tell his best friend
So his heart is full of tears
That's why, That man
You, he loved you Because you are just same as him
Yet another fool, yet another fool
Can't you hug me before you go?
I want to be loved, my dear
Everyday in my heart,
Just in my heart,
I shout and That man is next to her even today.
Do you know That man is me?
You're not pretending that you don't know, right?
You really don't know cause you're a fool.
Just how much... how much more do I have to gaze at you alone
This love thats like a fool
This beggar-like love
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearer...a little more...
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back
I who love you is next to you now
That man is crying.
I couldnt help it. My tears fell from my eyes and down my face as I listen to him
his beautiful voice seeping deep into my heart. It was more beautiful this time
around than when he first sang the song. His every word echoed inside my brain. I
look out the window as I listened, afraid to turn to him and let him see how this
song affected much of me. It was so good the way he sings it. Too beautiful. Too
precious. This this is the voice of the person I fell in love with. I quietly wiped my
tears with my hands.
At that time when I first sang this it was just because it was a popular song
he whispered. But when I was up on stage all I could think of was you. I didnt
know why. Maybe it was around the time of my birthday and I missed how you
would always surprise me But now I think this song fits the situation more,
doesnt it?
I looked at him with teary eyes. His eyes were red too as if he was holding his
tears back as well. He smiled warily at me.
I wish I could take it all back he whispered weakly. But I know thats
impossible
We then grew silent for the rest of the trip home. It was about after an hour that we
exited the highway and entered back into Seoul. It was then that he spoke again.
Kyuhyun cleared his throat. Hey Kye
Yeah? I replied.
Ueno, Moonyoung, Jaehyun and I are planning to go skiing two weekends from now.
If youd like you can come with us. I mean, Jaehyuns wife is coming. So are Ueno
and Moonyoungs girlfriends. I think theyd love it if you met them too he said.
Wait. Jaehyun is married?!
Yeah, he chuckled. I think Ueno is planning to as well. Soon. Moonyoung, well,
hes dating the girl hes with for two years now.
Wow, I never imagined Moonyoung would settle down I mean, Ueno, yes. But
Young?
Me neither, he laughed. But I dont know Guess thats what love does.
Kyuhyun, Id like to see them as well but
You can take Mr. CEO with you if you want to, he said.
His name is Dean, I said. But are you sure? Wouldnt it be
Im sure, he nodded with a smile. Ill behave, I promise. Those three miss you
anyway. When I told him youre back in Korea, they bugged me to have a mini-
reunion with you of some sort. Im not forcing you to go, though. Im just saying if
youd like to come, wed all be happy if you do.
I need to talk to Dean about this first, I whispered.
Alright, he nodded. But if you do decide to come, well meet up at Gangnam
station at 9 in the morning.
Okay, got it, I said. I could send you a message if Dean allows me to go.
He scoffed. So hes like your parent now, isnt he? You need to ask permission from
him before you could go elsewhere.
I sighed. He doesnt require me to tell him everything I do and everywhere I go,
Kyuhyun. Its actually me who wants to tell him, especially if it involves you because
I hesitantly stopped mid sentence.
Because what?
Because he doesnt like me spending time with you, I replied in a soft voice.
He rolled his eyes. Hes afraid I might do something bad to you again, isnt he?
No, I shook my head. Hes just being my boyfriend.
I saw Kyuhyun cringe. What does that supposed to mean?
Well, if you were in his place and he was in yours, would you like to see me
spending time with him? I asked.
Of course not! he replied. I already dont like it in this situation, so most
definitely I wouldnt want it the other way around.
See? Hes just being precautious and protective, I explained.
He pouted. So how then am I supposed to win you back if he wont let me see
you?!
Thats what he wants to avoid! I laughed at his childishness. Look, Kyuhyun, he
isnt forbidding me to see you. He just doesnt like it when I do, so I, as his girlfriend,
would want to respect that.
Thats an awful thing to do, he said.
You asked me to do the same thing before! I complained as I laughed.
Me? With who?!
Henry!
Oh right he nodded.
And whats worse is that Henry and I never had that kind of relationship, but there
you were, assuming the worst!
But you were too close to Henry, he argued.
You think Im too close with everyone, I said.
Well, as Heechul hyung said, Im a very selfish person.
I rolled my eyes at him and laughed.
Kyuhyun went up the parking lot building where I had parked my car. Whats he
doing there? Kyuhyun asked, eyeing Dean who was standing beside my car.
I guess he wanted to fetch me, I replied.
You can drive home alone, cant you? he gritted.
Kyu I muttered, looking at him.
He rolled his eyes again. Yeah yeah I know hes being a good boyfriend.
I laughed at him. So childish. But I knew hed do the same if he was in Deans
place.
I went down the car as soon as Kyuhyun had it parked. Dean welcomed me in his
embrace. Hey, hun. Welcome back. Youre a bit warm, he said, putting a hand
over my forehead.
Hmm..? I feel fine, Dean. Must be from the weather yesterday, I replied.
Kyuhyun took my laptop from the backseat and handed it to me. Thanks, I told
him.
I need to go to my schedule now so I wont stay long, he told me. He then faced
Dean. Thank you for trusting her, and perhaps me, these few days.
All is well, Mister Cho, Dean said with a smile before wrapping his arm around my
waist.
It was nice to spend time again with you, Kye, he smiled at me before entering the
car as he hummed that song that shook my heart this day.
Dean raised an eyebrow at me as soon as Kyuhyun was gone. Are you two in good
terms now?
Id like to think of it that way, I replied. But only as friends.
He smiled at me and nodded. Thats good to know. Come, Ill drive you home.
I sat on the passengers seat. Dean revved my car on and drove off. Dean
Yep? he answered.
Kyu is inviting me I mean us, in a skiing trip in two weeks, I replied.
Are you sure hes inviting me as well? he laughed.
He said I can bring you with, I said.
Wow. That man is really stepping up his game, he chuckled. Anyway, its in two
weeks, right?
Yeah, I nodded.
Ill clear my schedule then, he smiled.
Really? We can go?
You seem pretty excited, he glanced at me.
Well, its actually with some of my high school friends
Oh, thats great, Kye. In that case, we really should go, he chuckled.
Thanks, Dean.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated. There was a message from Kyuhyun.
Please tell him to drive you home safe. Remember to eat well and drink your
medicine. You still have a bit of fever. I hope Ill see you again soon.
And then, as if fate was toying with us again That Man started playing on the
radio. It wasnt Kyuhyun singing; it was Hyun Bin, actually. But these lyrics echoed in
my mind:
You, he loved you
Because you are just same as him
Yet another fool, yet another fool
Can't you hug me before you go?
I want to be loved, my dear
Everyday in my heart,
Just in my heart.
I still love you, Cho Kyuhyun.
Chapter 18:
KYESIN
You seem excited, Dean told me as he briefly glanced away from the road to give
me a smile. We were now following a black van where Kyuhyun and his friends rode.
I am! Its been awhile since I last skied, I replied.
Oh really? Did you ever ski in California? he asked.
Yeah, but just once. I usually ski when I go home to London for the Christmas
break, I said.
Ah with your brother?
Hmm not really he comes with me when hes not busy. How about you? How long
til youve last skied?
Never, he answered with a giant grin.
My eyes popped wide open. NEVER?!
Yeah, he chuckled sheepishly.
Then why did you come with me?! I asked.
I wanna try it, he said.
So all those ski stuff you brought its all brand new?
Yep, he laughed louder. So dont you dare laugh at me if I fall.
I rolled my eyes in disbelief. You are unbelievable.
Besides, I need to keep an eye on someone he whispered.
Dont you trust me? I asked, taken aback by what he said.
Its not you I dont trust, he said, looking straight at the road.
I sighed. Hes trying his best, you know? Hes doing a lot better than when you last
met him.
Maybe thats because Im not around, he argued.
He might be right. But I had no intentions of telling him that. He promised me hell
behave this time.
Well, I hope he does Anyway, do you have any idea where exactly will we
skiing? he asked.
No, I shook my head. Probably somewhere right outside Seoul? Kyuhyun said he
has a schedule tomorrow afternoon so he should be back by then.
Maybe somewhere in Gyeonggi-do then, he nodded.
Yeah, maybe, I agreed.

After driving for a couple of minutes, the black van slowly exited the highway and
parked in a small restaurant. We followed right after. Dean and I went out of the car
and a beaming Moonyoung welcomed me with a hug.

Kyesin!!! We missed you! he greeted. Its been so long since I last saw you.

Jaehyun came running towards us as well. Kye!!! Long time no see!

Ueno silently followed behind, holding his wifes hand. Kyuhyun stood a few feet
away.

I missed you guys as well, I smiled.

Oh, Id like you to meet my girlfriend, Moonyoung said, putting his around a petite
woman.

Hello, Im Ryu Kyunglim. Nice to meet you, she bowed.

Kye, this is my girlfriend, Kim Minhye, Jaehyun introduced the tall slender woman
standing beside him.

And this is my wife, Min Jihyun, Ueno said. The woman smiled at me.

Nice to meet you! You all look very lovely. Im Park Kyesin, I said. Dean walked to
my side. By the way, this is my boyfriend, Dean Smith.

Its a pleasure to meet you all, Dean said, bowing nice and low.

WOAAHHH! Moonyoung exclaimed. You speak Korean?!

He speaks well, I laughed.

I learned quickly for her, Dean replied, glancing at me.

Isnt that sweet? Jaehyun beamed.

Ueno cleared his throat. Guys, are we all just going to stand here and talk, or are
we eating lunch? Mister lonesome over there is getting grumpier every second if we
dont feed him fast, he said, eyes pointing to where Kyuhyun stood.

Right, right, Moonyoung laughed.

We all walked and went inside the small restaurant. It serves authentic and
homemade Korean dishes. As we sat down around a long table and waited for our
food to come, I glanced worriedly at Dean. I have never seen him eat at a place like
this before. Im pretty sure he has eaten a number of Korean food already but he
usually goes to pricey restaurants. I know he has a sensitive stomach because of
that.

Will you be okay? I whispered.

He smiled at me. Yes, of course. Ill be fine but thank you for worrying.

Are you sure? I could get you some other food if its too risky for you, I asked.

He shook his head. That will be too embarrassing, Kye. Im just a tag-along.
Besides, didnt Moonyoung say that they often eat here? Means its safe.

I sighed. Moonyoung and the others can eat anywhere. Dean cannot. Alright, but if
you dont feel fine, please tell me immediately.
Yes, I will, he nodded.

The food arrived in a couple of minutes and we all dug in. It was, without a doubt, so
delicious. This was the food Ive been missing. Dean definitely found it delicious as
well and he was eating good. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, ate very well. After all, as
long as theres food in front of him, Kyuhyun will eat.

So, how did you guys meet? Moonyoung asked me.

Oh we met at Stanford, I said simply.

Would you like to expound on that? Jaehyun asked.

Oh, he stalked me, I laughed.

Everyone else laughed as well. Everyone but Kyuhyun who tried to ignore us and
kept eating.

Did you really? Moonyoung asked Dean.

Its not really stalking per se, he answered.

You followed me around for weeks! I argued.

Jaehyun and Moonyoung laughed. Oh dont worry about it. Kyuhyun here stalked
her too, Jaehyun said as he stuffed his mouth with food.

Kyuhyun froze upon hearing his name. He glared at Jaehyun. But Dean composed
his self well and tried to ignore it.

Dean cleared his throat and started talking again. Well, Im two years ahead of her.
When she entered college, I was already in my junior year. The juniors were
assigned to take care of the freshmen for a couple of weeks just to help them
adjust.

And you were assigned to Kye? Ueno asked.

No, I shook my head. He just ditched his frosh to assist me instead.

In my defense I wasnt the only one to do so, he answered.

So what happened to all the others? Moonyoung asked.

Well, since Dean is super rich, he bribed my buddy with a large sum of money to
trade places with him. Therefore, the others couldnt compete, I said. I thought I
heard Kyuhyun scoff to himself. My buddy told me later on.
So you see, it wasnt really stalking. I was just being a good buddy, Dean laughed.
I showed her around, sent her off and fetched her from classes, ate with her I
walked her home. Those stuff.

Moonyoung laughed loud.

Whats funny? I asked.

Ahh nothing it just sounds like someone I know, Moonyoung grinned slyly and
eyed the man whose head was deeply buried on his plate as he gobbled up a
kimbap.

Ueno chuckled uneasily. In any case it was all for the better, right, Kyesin? You
wouldnt be where youre at now if he hasnt done so.

I guess I could say that, I nodded. He helped me adjust in America.

Dean held my hand and smiled at me. She was very lonely when she came. She
was always homesick. She had a hard time making friends too I helped her get
through all of that. Even though it took some time.

Thank you Kyuhyun whispered. It was the first time we heard his voice since we
came to the restaurant. He was looking at Dean sincerely with soft eyes.

Dean smiled at him. I just did what I should.

Jaehyun cleared his throat to break the silence. So, Dean, when did you start
dating?

Oh, just this year, actually, he answered.

Really?! Jaehyuns eyes popped wide out. Everyone in the table was eager to
listen.

Yeah, Dean nodded.

But how long have you known each other? Moonyoung asked.

Seven, eight years, Dean replied.

Ah so youre good friends, Uenos wife spoke for the first time.

Yes. Very. We hung out in school. When he graduated, we went out with other
friends on the weekends. Have fun and other stuff. We worked together for a few
years too, I said.

Oh thats amazing, Jaehyuns girlfriend said.

It is, Dean nodded with a chuckle.

We drove for another hour or so before arriving at the resort. But as soon as I went
out of the car, a gush of cold air washed through me - not because we were at a ski
resort but because we were at the ski resort where Kyuhyun and I first met. Did he
pick this place on purpose?

Are you alright? Dean asked me as he took the ski gear out of the car.

Y-yeah I nodded. Shall we check in?

Yeap. Hey, I was thinking maybe I should pay for their accommodations I mean
Im just a tag-along

Are you crazy? I laughed and narrowed my eyes. Are you trying to impress
them?

Maybe he chuckled.

Look, I know youre trying to be nice but if you actually do that, theyre not going
to like you, I said.

Why not? he asked, taking my hand as we walked to the hotel lobby.

For men, its all about the ego. If you pay for their rooms, it might send off a
message that you think that they couldnt afford these stuff, I explained.

Ohh.. he nodded.

Its different back in America, Dean. All our friends come from wealthy families and
weve already grown close to them.

Right

If you really want to treat them something, I think you should start with a meal.
Maybe buy the dinner later, I suggested.

Alright. Ill do that. I shouldve paid for lunch a while ago, he said. Wait. Who
paid? I didnt take out my wallet Did you?

Kyuhyun did, I whispered. While we were talking amongst each other, he stood
up and paid at the counter.

Oh I thought he went to the bathroom then, he said.

Im planning to pay him back, I said.

I know for sure hes not going to accept that, Dean chuckled.
Youre probably right Still.. Ill find a way to pay him back, I laughed.

Alright. Go wait there in the couches. Ill check us in, he said.

And pay for my room? No way, mister, I said, marching up to the front desk.

Dean grabbed my hand. Dont make me get into this argument again, he laughed.
Are we dating or not?

We are... I whispered.

Then let me do this, please, he chuckled. He then kissed my cheek and then spun
around to walk to the front desk.

I sighed in defeat and sat on one of the couches. It was then that I realized that
Kyuhyun was right behind us, watching each move we made. He slowly walked
towards the front desk, looking down at his feet. His hand was clenched hard in a
fist, holding the strap of his duffel bag.

Moonyoung was suddenly sitting beside me. Hi, he smiled wide at me.

Hi, Young. Wheres Kyunglim-ssi? I asked.

Still upstairs preparing her things, I think, he replied.

Oh I see..

Youre boyfriends checking you in? he asked.

Yup. He insists, I chuckled.

Ah Right Kyu he hesitated for a while but after a deep breath he spoke
again. I havent seen Kyuhyun smile at all this day. He told us that youre in better
terms now but I guess being around your current boyfriend is a bit strange for him.
He really loved you then, and he really missed you. He may not admit it and he also
pretended that he hated you but every time we go out for a drink and he gets
drunk its you he calls out He never remembers anything when hes dead
drunk and I dont know why but I never told him that...

Why are you telling me all this?

He grimaced. I love you both, okay. But please understand him. He may not show
it, but I know hes in pain.

Kye, lets go, Dean called me with a smile.

I stood up from the couches and glanced at Moonyoung. I gave him a small nod
before following Dean to my room.
He booked us in two separate rooms, but they were in front of each other. I settled
in, and changed into my ski clothes. However, Moonyoungs words still rang in my
mind. Was he telling the truth? Was Kyuhyun really like that? Its hard to believe it,
honestly. He was nowhere near what Moonyoung described when we met for the
first time when I came back.

A knock on the door suddenly made me jump and lose my train of thought. I opened
it and on the other side was a beaming Dean Smith wearing what seems to be every
single item in a ski apparel catalog.

I laughed at how ridiculously overdressed he look. What the hell are you
wearing?I asked.

What?! This is what the guy is wearing in the shop! he argued.

Okay, fine. Whatever. Ill let you wear it today. Its your first time anyway. Lets just
see if you can still move later,I chuckled. I took my keycard and locked the room.

We went down to the lobby and waited for the others to be ready. We then went and
rented our skis. Moonyoung and Jaehyun have their own, while the rest of us rented
out. There werent many people in the ski resort, probably because it wasnt a
weekend and the Christmas season is over. Dean and I went to the beginner slopes
since its his first time and he still needs to know the basics. Uenos wife was also a
beginner so they both went there too. The others went off on their own.

Dean quickly learned. After three of four tries he could do it bravely on his own,
though he was cautious and kept a slow yet steady speed. He suggested we go on
to the other slopes and so we did. Dean was able to adapt well when we migrated to
the intermediate slopes. Still, he fell a great number of times but he had fun. When
he said he was getting a hang of it, ambitious as he is, he pulled me to the
advanced slopes. Moonyoung, Jaehyun, their girlfriends and Kyuhyun were there. He
tried skiing down the slope and he fell drastically midway. We all laughed - all but
perhaps Kyuhyun - but he stood up and continued til he reached the end of the
slope.

Good job! I praised him.

He sighed. Kye I dont feel so well, he whispered.

Huh? Is it because you fell? Dont worry. Its normal to fall, I answered.

No I just a feel a bit... coldhe replied.

Well of course, its cold. I laughed.

Its not that Alright, lets just go again. Maybe it was because of the fall, he said.
We climbed the slope again. This time I skied down first. Follow me, okay, I told
Dean and he simply nodded.

I skied down in a zigzag and I could see that Dean followed. But as we approached
the end of the slope, I suddenly felt someone pull me down. I fell off, rolling down a
few feet on the cold snow. A voice was suddenly beside me just two seconds after I
hit the bottom.

Kye! Kye! Are you alright? The person said as he tried to lift my torso up.

I blinked twice to check if I wasnt hallucinating. Kyuhyun was right beside me,
looking dead worried. His arm was supporting me up.

Y-y-yeah I whispered stuttering.

I looked around. Dean was a few feet away from me, sitting on the snow, holding his
stomach. His face was pale. I immediately stood up and ran to him.

Are you okay?I asked.

Im sorry I pulled you down with me. I dont know why I couldnt stop he
whispered.

Does anything hurt? You dont look too good, I said.

I feel dizzy And my stomach he said.

I took the skis off his feet and helped him up. Lets get you back to your room, I
said. He nodded and followed obediently.

Kyu, please return our skis for me, I said, turning to the man who was left alone
where he had knelt to help me. Dean doesnt feel too good so Ill bring him to his
room and let him rest for a bit.

Kyuhyun nodded and said something inaudible. His eyes his eyes were empty.

I couldnt do anything but ignore it and bring Dean back to his room. The mans lips
have grown white since we left the skiing area. As soon as we got in, he ran to the
bathroom and threw up.

Are you alright? I asked thru the bathroom door.

Yeah, Ill be fine, he whispered weakly.

Would you like me to call a doctor for you? Or we could go to a hospital I said.

He went out of the bathroom after washing his face. His lips were still pale. No,
thank you. I can handle it. Must be the lunch earlier
I sighed. Im sorry.

No, you dont have to be sorry, he chuckled and shook his head. Im the one who
insisted on eating. Anyway, I just need to get it out of my system and Ill be back in
perfect shape. I promise.

A light knock suddenly came from the door. I was surprised to see Kyuhyun peeking
inside. Is everything fine? he asked.

Everything will be, thank you, Dean replied formally.

Okay. I returned the skis like you told me to, Kye. Is there anything else I can help
you with? Kyuhyun asked. He was surprisingly being very nice especially now that
hes around Dean.

No, thank you, I said. I turned to Dean. You stay put and rest, alright? Ill go to a
drugstore and get you some medicine. I dont think I have what you need in my first
aid kit.

Alright, please take care, Dean said. He stepped closer to hug me.

Ill come back as soon as I can. I headed for the door where Kyuhyun stood with
his face bleak.

Wait, Dean called. Actually, Mr. Cho, will you please accompany Kyesin? Im
afraid she might get lost on her way. You may take my car.

I looked warily at Dean. I think I can manage, I said.

He shook his head as he handed me the keys to his car. I know you can. But its
better safe than sorry, he smiled with his pale chalky lips.

Come on, Kye. We better get going. Its getting dark now too, Kyuhyun whispered.

Mr. Cho, please take care of her. Im putting my trust on you now. Please do not
throw it away, Dean said gently but you know it was a strong warning.

Kyuhyun simply nodded his head, perhaps avoiding to get into an argument and
lose his temper. He went out of the room and waited for me.

Ill see you in a bit. If you dont feel well, please give me a call, I said.

Dean nodded. I will.

I went out of the room and followed Kyuhyun outside to where Deans car was
parked. I climbed on the passengers seat. He revved the engine on and took his
phone out.

What are you doing? I asked.

Looking for the nearest pharmacy, he replied.

Oh actually can you search if theres a big pharmacy around here? One that
sells international brands? I asked.

He looked at me, his eyebrows knit together. Dont tell me your boyfriend is
sensitive to Korean medicine too.

His stomach is very particular, okay? I cant risk his life by giving him medicine his
body is unfamiliar with, I said. Theres nothing wrong with Korean medicine. I think
its great, actually, having taken some myself. But Deans a different case. His
upbringing made his body very sensitive.

Kyuhyun groaned and typed on his phone. After a few minutes, he put it down and
drove off.

You seem quite pleasant around him today, I whispered as I looked out the
window.

I have to keep my promise, dont I? he answered. Now that Ive gotten to know
him better, hes honestly quite nice.

He is, isnt he? I smiled, glad that finally Kyuhyun isnt being absurd.

I can see why you would like him, he whispered. But I still think Im better than
him. Youll see. Ill prove it to you.

I laughed. Alright, then. Whatever you want.

Im serious. He said. Anyway thank you for coming. Moonyoung really missed
you. I dont know if I can still take any more of his bugging if you didnt meet.

Oh I should be the one thanking you I really miss them too.

By the way I didnt I didnt know we were skiing here he whispered.

Jaehyun picked the place

Ah I see I whispered looking far away. So he remembers he remembers how

special that ski resort is to me.

Im sorry

I shook my head. Its fine You shouldnt apologize

I heard Kyuhyun breathe deeply and clear his throat. I heard form Siwon hyung that
you raised a lot from the charity dinner, he said, changing the topic.

Mhm yeah, quite a lot. Thank you for your help.

Do you have any plans of having another one? he asked.

Not as of the moment but maybe in a few months Ill make sure to invite you and
the other members once I have finalized the details, I said.

Alright, Ill wait for the invite, he said.

The car slowed down until it stopped in front of a drug store. Please wait here. I will
not take long.

Let me come with you, he said.

I shook my head. No, just stay here. I will be right back.

I stepped out of the car and went straight to the drug store. Hello, Maam. How
may I help you? The pharmacist said.

Hi, one bottle of Pepto Bismol please, I said.

Would you like the large size, Maam?

Yes, please.

That would be 10,000 won.

I handed her the payment and she packed the medicine for me. I immediately went
out of the pharmacy and found Kyuhyun going out of the car.

Where are you going? I asked.

Oh? Youre done already? Ive just parked the car, he said.

Yes, I nodded. I told you to just wait for me. I climbed on the car.

Kyuhyun went back in and close the car door. He revved the engine on. He looked at
the paper bag and then suddenly opened the door. Wait here, he said.

Where are you going?

Just listen to me and stay here, okay? Kyuhyun got off the car and went inside the
pharmacy. He went back to car after five minutes with a paper bag in his hand.

Whats that? I asked.

He handed it to me. I opened the paper bag and inside was a box with the label
oral rehydration salts written in big bold letters. Electrolytes. He needs that.

Thanks I muttered. Kyuhyun looked at me and leaned closer. Whatwhat

He reached over to my side and buckled my seatbelt. The first thing you should do
when you get in a car is to put your seatbelt on, he said.
I looked at him as he sat straight. He put his seatbelt on and then slowly drove off
back to the highway. He changed. He wasnt the skinny jet black-haired man I once
knew. He grew older now. He grew healthier and more handsome. At first, I thought
his personality changed too.

But why do I see the Kyuhyun I once knew now? The Kyuhyun who takes care of me
in ways others couldnt think of. The Kyuhyun who scolds me when I dont take care
of myself. The Kyuhyun I fell in love with. The Kyuhyun I wanted to end up with.

KYUHYUN

It hurts me to see the love of my life taking care of someone else. Many times I
imagine myself being in his shoes Deans would Kyesin be worried for me the
same way too? And during times like this is when I regret the most what I have done
in the past.

We arrived back at the ski resort after a short while. Kyesin went straight to Deans
room and I followed quietly behind. He didnt look too good. He was pale and can
barely stand up.

How are you feeling? Kyesin asked.

Dizzy, Dean answered with a faint smile.

I bought Pepto Bismol, she whispered. Drink it.

I help Dean sit up to take the medicine. Thanks, he muttered softly.

Kyuhyun, Kyesin said. Go on and eat dinner with the others. You must be hungry.

Why is she pushing me away?

I shook my head. Im fine. Ill help you out here.

But

Shes right, Dean said in a soft voice. but you should go too, Kyesin.

Dean

Ill be alright. Dont worry about me, he replied. I feel better already.

Are you sure?

Yes, he nodded. Go ahead. Youve been missing meals recently with your busy
schedule, right?
My eyes flew to her. I knew she looked thinner today than the last time I saw her.
Kyesin avoided my eyes.

Alright. Do you want anything to eat? she asked.

Dean shook his head. I dont think I have any appetite just yet. But if I get hungry,
Ill order on my own.

She nodded. Okay. Call me if you need anything. Kyesin went out of the room and
followed silently behind.

Kyuhyun-ssi, Dean said.

I spun around. Yes?

Please take care of her for me, he said with a faint smile before lying back down
and closing his eyes.

I will, dont worry.

I went out of the room and Kyesin was waiting outside. We both headed to the
elevator.

Where are the others? she asked.

Theyre at the lobby, waiting, I replied. I looked at her but she avoided me again.
Did I do something wrong? I asked.

I know youre going to scold me for missing meals again, she said. I think two
people my brother and Dean - are enough.

No, its not, I shook my head. We all just care for you and your health, Kye. If you
keep this up, theres going to be more than three people scolding you. Im pretty
sure Heechul hyung and Donghae hyung would.

She chuckled and then sighed. Youre probably right.

Eat a lot later, alright?

Yes, sir, she said while chuckling. We alight the elevator and went to the lobby
where everybody is waiting.

Hows Dean? Moonyoung asked her.

He said hell be fine. Hes pretty sensitive to the foods he eats, she said.

Oh! Im sorry. We shouldnt have eaten in that restaurant, he replied.

Kyesin shook her head. Oh no, dont apologize. We all had no idea it would affect
him.

But-Moonyoung tried to stay but I stopped him by squeezing his hand.

Shall we eat dinner? I said, changing the topic.

Ueno nodded his head. Their dining hall is serving roast beef in the buffet.

Roast beef?! Jaehyun exclaimed. Lets go!!!

We all headed for the dining hall to eat. Kyuhyun, Moonyoung whispered.

Yeah?

Im really guilty, he said.

Dont worry about it too much, Young. Hes doing better now. He and Kye both
dont want to make you feel uncomfortable over it either, I replied.

What do you think I should do? he asked.

Honestly, Young, they wont hold grudges on you for that, I told him. He sighed in
defeat.

Kyesin looked behind and smiled at Moonyoung. Young. Its really not a problem.
He gets an upset stomach all the time even from expensive restaurants.

Im really sorry, Kye. Ill apologize to Dean too.

He grew up with either his family cooks food, or from high end restaurants in LA.
Hes still getting used to Korean food. There are a very limited list of restaurants we
can actually eat, and were actually trying a lot so we can add more to that list. So
please, dont worry about it, she assured him.

We sat around in around a long table. It was clear to me that Jaehyun and the others
plotted against me and sat next to each other so that Kyesin has nowhere else to sit
but beside me. She did ever so gracefully; she accepted her fate as it is.

As Ueno said, they were serving roast beef in the buffet and it was delicious. Kyesin
bonded well with everyone especially with the girls. As expected, they
immediately grew fond of her. We ate and shared stories and laughed together just
like how we were before.

Oh? Kyuhyun oppa? I suddenly hear someone say behind me. I turned around to
have a look.

Park Kiseo? Moonyoung said.

Yes its me. Its been quite a while, isnt it? she said.
What are you doing here? Moonyoung asked.

My friends from the company I work at decided to take a trip, she said with a
smile. Kyuhyun oppa, you still remember me, dont you?

Of course. You were in the Math club, right? I said.

She clapped her hands. Oh you remembered! So, uhm every table is occupied
now

Oh why dont you sit with us? We can just move and squeeze together,
Moonyoung said.

Is it really fine? Thank you! she said, her hand on my shoulder.

Her three friends came over, pulling chairs to the table.

Kyesin suddenly stood up. You can take my place. Ill go check on Dean.

Kye wait, I said and reached for her hand.

I need to check on Dean, she said without looking at me.

Kye! I pulled her.

You stay and have fun with them, she told me before pulling her hand away.

Oppa, may I sit here beside you? Park Kiseo asked.

oh yeah sure.

I sit back down but I couldnt stop thinking about Kyesin. She was absolutely fine a
few moments ago but once Park Kiseo and her friends came, her mood changed.
She obviously didnt want to be around them.

I quickly finished the food on my plate and stood up. Im sorry. I need to go. I have
something important to do, I said.

Kyu

Oh right. Well see you tomorrow! Good luck! Ueno said, cutting Park Kiseo off
before she could say anything else. Luckily he understands.

I went up to the hotel and knocked on Kyesins door. But there wasnt any answer.
Maybe shes still in Deans room? I went there and knocked.

Oh, its you, Kyuhyun-ssi, Dean said.

Im sorry to disturb you, but is Kyesin still with you? I need to talk to her, I said.
Kyesin? She hasnt come here after you came down for dinner, he said. Did she
say she was coming?

I nodded. She said she was going to check on you.

She didnt come here though

Let me call her, he muttered as he dialed her number. But she didnt answer.

I sighed. Where could she be? Alright. Thank you. Please go back to resting.

Are you going to look for her? he asked.

Yes, I nodded.

Then please contact me if youve found her or if there are any complications, he
said. I took my phone out and we exchanged numbers.

I went back down to the lobby and checked if she went to the restroom but she
wasnt. She wasnt in any part of the hotel at all. Maybe she left? I checked the
parking lot but all our cars were still parked. I sighed. Where is she?

And then, an idea came to mind. Yes she must be there. I ran back to my room,
took my coat and then ran immediately back down. It was freezing outside but I had
to come and find her. I went to that one place I think Kyesin would be at.

And I was right. I saw her there, sitting by the skating rink. It was just like before
when we first met. She was sitting with her feet up and her head on her knees. Even
though it was dark, I knew she was not alright. Her hazel eyes did not have the
spark that made her glow.

I slowly made my way towards her and sat beside her. I placed my coat around her.

Im not cold, she whispered.

Ill still put it on you no matter what you say, I told her.

She sighed and wore it. Thanks.

I didnt know we were going here, I whispered. It was Jaehyun who picked the
place.

Its fine, she said.

Your boyfriend is looking for you too, I said.

Ill visit him later.

Do you still remember? This

This was where you first talked to me the very spot, she whispered. For some
reason I found myself coming here to think. I could hear from her voice that she
was sad. I just want to comfort her right now make her happy. I know I can easily
do it before, but things have changed. I breathed deeply, took her hand and pulled
her down the bleachers. Might as well give it a try. Kyuhyun, what are you doing?
Where are you taking me? she asked as she tugged her hand.

I cant stand seeing you like this, I said.

I scooped her up and carried her over barricade of the ice skating rink. Kyuhyun!
Put me down! What are you doing?

I chuckled. Cheering you up, I answered, jumping over the barricade.

This is illegal, Kyuhyun, she said. You seem to have a habit of trespassing, do you
realize that?

I know. Makes it more exciting, doesnt it? I laughed as I took her hand.

No!

Come on, I chuckled. It is a bit fun, admit it. I slid on the ice, pulling her behind
me.

Im not bailing you out if ever we get caught, alright? she chuckled.

Haha. How cruel. I pulled her along as we slid on the ice with just our regular
shoes. She smiled a bit, liking the feeling of the cold breeze her skin. I stopped and
sat right in the middle of the rink. She sat down beside me.

Sometimes, all she needs is someone to be with. And thats what Im trying to do
now just be with her and support her in her down times. Are you cold? I
whispered as she stared at the sky.

She shook her head. Not really. Its bearable.

Is it okay if I hug you? I asked.

She looked at me apologetically. Kyuhyun

Okay. I get it. Im sorry, I said.

Cant we just be friends, for now? she asked. Its hard sorting out my feelings
for you if you keep doing these.

Im sorry

Youre starting to feel like the Kyuhyun I once knew she whispered.
Isnt that a good thing? Isnt that what you want?

No it isnt! she said, her voice started to crack.

Why not?

Because with you like this, Id keep running back to you and thats hurting Dean.
She was starting to cry.

Do you love him? I asked.

I will I will learn to I have to I want to

It doesnt matter if you have chosen him over me now. I will give it my all to
change your mind, I said in a whisper.

I saw her clench her fists. I I

Say it, I said. Ill take it well. I promise.

She shook her head and stood up. Im sorry, I cant. She slid away, climbing over
the barricade out of the rink.

Wait! I called, chasing after her. I caught her arm. Tell me, Kye. Say it to me. Say
everything you want to tell me. The good. The bad. Everything. I deserved it.

She bit her lip as she tried to keep the tears from falling. Kyuhyun

Ill take it. I promise. So tell me.

Kyuhyun I I I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! she sobbed before
throwing herself to my chest.

I embraced her tight as she cried on me. I felt how hurt she was. I felt her
frustration, her confusionShe was shaking as she sobbed hysterically.

I hate you! I hate how I can let you simply hold my hand. I hate how youre able to
easily cheer me up when I feel down. I hate how my heart melts when you sing. I
hate how you make me feel jealous even though I do not have the right to be. I hate
how you make me want to cheat on my boyfriend. I hate how selfish Im becoming
because of you. I hate it. She looked up at me with her watery eyes. I hate that I
love you so much.

I didnt know what came into my mind but the only thing I knew I had to do was to
kiss her. I cupped her face in one of my hands and softly pressed my lips against
hers. And I felt her surrender completely under my touch. She let her lips betray her
brain. She let her hands crawl to my neck and pull me closer. She let her mouth be
invaded by my tongue. And she liked it.
I love you too, I whispered. I pulled her back to the bleachers and carried her on
my lap. She hid her face on my neck and I brushed her hair to calm her down. Take
your time. I will wait, I told her. I promise you, I will.

I hate how good this feels, she whispered.

I chuckled. I know But we should head back now.

She shook her head. I want to stay here a little while more.

In my arms, you mean?

Yes, in your arms.

Arent you cold?

She shook her head. Youve always felt warm to me.

I wasnt sure how long we stayed out, but Kyesin fell asleep, hugging me tight. I
scooped her up and stood up.

Huh? she muttered, waking up.

Shh I crooned. Go back to sleep. Ill bring you to your room. Wheres your key?

No she whispered, hugging me tighter.

Well both freeze to death if we stay here longer, I chuckled as I carried her back
to the hotel. So go back to sleep. Well be there in a few.

Okay, she said.

I went up to our hotel rooms and found Dean standing beside Kyesins room. He
angrily walked towards me. Give her to me, he said in a low voice.

Shes asleep, I said.

I know that! I told you to call me once you found her!

Keep your voice down. Youll wake her up, I scolded.

Just give her to me, he said.

I breathed deeply and carefully placed Kyesin in his arms. Kyesin grumbled. Shhh,
I hushed. Its alright. Hes got you. I took the key from her pocket and opened her
room. Dean placed her on the bed as I stood and watched from the door. He took
her shoes and socks off and covered her with the blanket.

Good night, hun, he whispered before heading out. You. We need to talk, he told
me.
Youre leaving her just like that? I asked.

Please get out now, he gritted. I ignored him and went towards Kyesin who was
fast asleep. Dont touch her! I folded the blanket off a bit and slid my hand behind
her. Dean caught my hand. Get off her! Now!

If you dont want me doing it, then do it yourself! I said.

Do what?!

Unclasp her bra and remove her pants, I said in a low voice.

What? Are you crazy? Get off her now! He said, pulling me.

Listen to me! She has severe asthma. She has to sleep in temperatures no lower
than twenty degrees and no higher than thirty degrees. She cant sleep properly if
her body is constricted, so you have to loosen up her bra and make sure shes not
wearing any tight clothes. Shes that sensitive and you should know that, I
scolded. So are you going to do it, or are you going to let her suffer as she sleep?!

Dean looked at me angrily. He closed his eyes and pinched his temples. Fine. You
do it. I dont think I can touch her that way yet. But dont do or touch anything
else!

I sighed and unclasped her bra. I unbutton her skinny jeans and took them off. Her
fair legs were staring back at me. Please get a pair of shorts in her luggage... as
well as a pair of socks.

Her bag is locked, he said.

How many numbers? I asked.

Three, he replied.

Put in 3-0-3, I instructed.

He put in the code and the bag popped right open. He then handed me the clothes.
How did you know her passcode?

its her birthday, I replied. Take the socks and put it on her.

Oh alright.

I put her shorts on her and then covered her with a blanket. I brushed her hair back.
Im sorry I didnt tell you enough then, so I want to tell it to you now whenever I
can: I love you. Good night and rest well.

I stood up and headed outside. Dean followed me behind, shutting the lights before
he went out. Mr. Cho, he called.
I breathed deeply and turned around. What?

I think you may have crossed a lot of lines today, he said.

I dont think that youre in the right place to say that, I said.

What do you mean?

I looked for her and comforted her and she needed me. Ask her when she wakes
up.

Im her boyfriend. Ill see it as how it is, he said.

I dont even know how you could even call yourself that, I said. You dont know
her at all!

Just because youve been with her longer than I have doesnt make you better than
me, he said.

You should know those stuff. You should know what she likes and what she doesnt.
You should know how to take care of her. You should know her habits and her
routines. You should know how to take care of her. Its your responsibility!

I walked away from him, angry frustrated How and why would Kyesin pick him
over me?!

Im keeping her away, he said in a firm voice. I warned you before, Mister Cho.

My feet abruptly stopped. My hands clenched into a fist. I was so angry I wanted to
punch him but that wasnt the right thing to do now. I spun around. Do what you
want, but you cant stop her from coming to me. And you cant stop me from going
after her. He looked at me furiously. I walked back to my room and opened the
door. Make sure to get her some hot chocolate tomorrow morning when she wakes
up, I said before shutting the door behind me.

Kyesin deserves better. Im not letting her end up with him.

Chapter 19:
KYUHYUN

Hyung! Hyung! Hyung!!!

Huh? I said.

Hyung! Henry, who sat behind me, was calling. We were on our way back to the
dorms after a schedule.

What? I asked.

Are you hungry? he asked.

Im starving. Are you treating me, Henry-yah? Youve been doing very well, these
days, arent you? I said.

Yeah a bit. I have a lot of invitations to variety shows, he said. but Hyung! Do
you want to eat?

Sure!

Great! Ill tell Kyesin. Shell be glad, he said.

Kyesin is coming? I asked.

Yeah. She was the one who scheduled it, he told me.

Actually, I dont think I should come with you, I said.

What?! But why? I thought you two were getting better. You took her to her
vineyard here, he said.

How did you know that?!

Heechul hyung told me, he chuckled. I think Kyesin tells him everything if he pry
hard enough.

Aish that hyung. Aish!

But hyung, did you guys fight?

Not us

Eh??? With Dean?!

I looked out the window. Its hard to explain, Henry.

Ei~ In case you havent watched my variety shows, theyre calling me a genius,
hyung.

Youre a musical genius, Henry. Not Einstein kind of genius.

Come on, hyung! I dont have time to hang out with you guys anymore! he pouted
at my face.

I sighed. What do you really want to know?

Why dont you want to see her?

I do not not want to see her, I answered.

So in other words, you do want to see her.

Of course.

Kyuhyunnie, Junghoon hyung said. Isnt that the girl you had me researched on?

Henrys eyes grew wide as I glared at manager hyung. Hyung?! You had prince
manager hyung research on her?

Yeah, he asked me where she studied, her work, where she lived, when she came
here Henry, is Kyuhyun going after her?

Hyung, hes not going after her. Hes chasing her! Henry said.

Shut up, I said.

Dont listen to him hyung. Park Kyesin? Shes Kyuhyuns first love, Henry
explained.

Henry, stop it.

First love? Kyuhyun told me a friend recommended her to be the statistician for
MOM House.

WHAAAT??? Henrys eyes popped out as he stared at me. You did what, hyung?

And he even told me there is absolutely no way that he will fall for her.

Look, things just dont go the way exactly as you planned, alright? I said.

You can date anyone as long as youre careful, Cho Kyuhyun, Junghoon hyung
said.

I know that, hyung.

So, hyung. You fought with Dean? Henry asked.

Whos Dean? Junghoon hyung asked.

Kyesins boyfriend, Henry replied.

She has a boyfriend? What have you gotten yourself into, Kyuhyun?

Hyung

If this goes out in the media, your reputation your career everything will go to
waste!

Ei, hyung. Dont be too hard on him. He knows what hes doing. Right, Kyuhyun
hyung? Henry winked at me.

Junghoon hyung sighed. Aish. I dont want to deal with this anymore. Just better
be careful, Kyuhyun.

Ne, hyung, I replied.

Okay, okay. Back to the topic. Why did you and Dean fight? Was it because of
Kyesin? Henry asked.

Why else would we fight? I replied.

Oh! So did you guys get physical? he asked, getting excited.

I rolled my eyes. No, of course not. You know I dont do that.

Yeah and you wouldve been beaten up pretty badly. I mean, come on. Dean is fit
as fuuuu--- Oops! No cursing! Right! Hyung! You should come and exercise with me.
I promise youll be fit as me in no time, he said.

Would I need to skip meals?

Not skip meals! But you cant eat late at night.

Then, pass, I answered.

Hyung! Dont you want to get good body like Dean?

I looked back at Henry. Is he really that fit?

He nodded his head. He is.

Do you think I should get muscles too?

Junghoon hyung laughed aloud. As if. It doesnt fit you at all!

Tch. I could do it as long as I put my mind to it.

Yeah, right. For all I know youd work out for a week then drop out of the program
because youd be too hungry! he laughed.

He has a point though. Whatever. I wont do it. I wont give up food over exercise.
Truth is, I exercise so I could eat well.

Stop changing the topic! Henry complained.

Youre the one who started talking about muscles and working out, I said.

He rolled his eyes at me. So, hyung. If you didnt throw punches, then what did you
do? How did you fight? Did you use your sharp tongue, eh? he winked at me.

Something like that I answered.

But why did you fight? he asked.

I I did something he didnt like, and he. He doesnt have any idea how to take
care of her.

Ah hyung is being protective as ever, Henry laughed. Remember how you got
mad at me because you were jealous that I was close with Kye? That was epic!