NOAH KINSEY'S

20TH CENTURY FOX'S

MARVEL'S
DEADPOOL MOVIE

Written by

Noah Kinsey
 ii.

Address
Phone Number
 FADE IN:

INT. WADES NEW YORK APARTMENT - MORNING

MUSIC CUE: OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

A small, messy living room. Empty liquor bottles are piled

next to a recliner. The place is a shit-hole, ok? No need to
sugarcoat it.

WADE WILSON - a disheveled, almost-fit guy in his boxers -

sleeps on the recliner.

The TV facing the recliner, which has obviously been on since

the night before, is showing the morning news.

TV REPORTER
...a hostage situation at First
Republik Bank offices...

Wade stirs in his chair. He wakes up, rubbing his face and
head.

WADE
(hungover)
Fuck.

Wade gets out his chair and heads to his mini-kitchen.

TV REPORTER (O.S.)
...police have arrived and are
blocking all doors...

Wade drinks day-old coffee from a coffee pot.

WADE
Blech.

Wade opens the freezer, takes out a vodka bottle, and takes a
big swig which empties the bottles content.

WADE (CONTD)
Thats the ticket.

TV REPORTER (O.S.)
...shots are being fired from the
fifth floor...

WADE
Alright.
 2.

Wade goes into the bedroom briefly and comes back out in a T-
shirt and jeans.

TV REPORTER (O.S.)
...no contact has been made with
the gunman...

He grabs his shoes and a gun from his coat closet and heads
out the door in his socks.

CUT TO:

EXT. 1ST REPUBLIK BANK OFFICE BUILDING - SHORT TIME LATER

A chaotic scene. Police cars create a barricade in front of

the office building. Police officers are crouched behind them
in position.

Five stories up, the floor-to-ceiling window has been broken,

and the BANK SHOOTER fires bullets down at the officers.

OFFICER 1 has a bullhorn. Actually, thats a dumb name. Lets

call him BULLHORN GUY. After all - its my script.

BULLHORN GUY
(into bullhorn)
Cease fire and then well talk
about what you want.

BANK SHOOTER
What I want is you all to back up!
Now!

Bank Shooter lets off a few shots.

BULLHORN GUY
We cant do that. But we can-

WADE (O.S.)
Whats the situation?

Wade is crouched next to Bullhorn Guy.

BULLHORN GUY
The guy just walked in, blocked all
the ways in, and shot the center
manager. We cant even get to the
door without a hail of gunfire
coming down. We think hes a
disgruntled former employee. Trying
to lock in his identifica... wait.
Who are you?
 3.

WADE
Wade Wilson.

Wade flips open his wallet - exposing his Blockbuster card -

and quickly flips it shut.

WADE (CONTD)
Private military officer. I have
experience dealing with these
situations. May I?

Wade gestures to the bullhorn.

Bank Shooters bullets hit the squad car nearby.

BULLHORN GUY
Be my guest.

Bullhorn Guy hands the bullhorn to Wade.

WADE
Groovy.

Wade stands up - handgun in his right hand, bullhorn in his

left - and crosses the squad car barrier towards the
building.

BULLHORN GUY
What are you doing?

BANK SHOOTER
Get back! I swear to God I will
shoot you.

WADE
(into bullhorn)
Cmon, man, put the gun down and
come out. Nobody likes a dick.

The officers are befuddled by Wades negotiating strategy.

BANK SHOOTER
A dick? Youre calling me a dick?

WADE
Oh, Im sorry. Did I hurt your
feelings? Come on down and show me
on a doll where I emotionally hurt
you.

BANK SHOOTER
Motherfu-

Bank Shooter aims at Wade and shoots.

 4.

The shots all narrowly miss, but once his face is exposed,
Wade takes aims and takes one shot. The bullet lands right
between the Bank Shooters eyes.

Wade turns and walks back towards the squad car barricade.
Behind him, now-dead Bank Shooter lands on the pavement.

Wade tosses the bullhorn back to Bullhorn Guy, without

stopping, and walks off.

BULLHORN GUY
You learned that in the military?

WADE
(without looking back)
Lethal Weapon.

DR. DUGGAN (V.O.)

Would you like to talk about what
happened at the banks office
building?

CUT TO:

INT. THERAPISTS OFFICE - DAY

A stereotypical therapists office decorated as if a

Hollywood art director for movies designed this based
exclusively on therapist offices he and/or she has seen in
movies.

DR. DUGGAN - a therapist who shares a striking resemblance to

comic book writer Gerry Duggan - sits in his chair facing
Wade on a couch.
WADE
Theres not really much to talk
about. There was a bad guy. I shot
him in the face. The end.

DR. DUGGAN
Eyewitnesses said you exposed
yourself to the shooter-

WADE
Whoa! Thats not true. I did NOT
have my dick out.
(beat)
Wait? Did I?
(thoughtful pause)
No. Im, like 92% sure William
Wallace was concealed.
 5.

DR. DUGGAN
William Wall-
(writes in notepad)
Well talk about that another time
for sure, but what I meant was you
could have been shot by the gunman.

WADE
(shrugs)
Eh. I was a crap shot.

DR. DUGGAN
Is that really how you felt, or do
you have a death wish?

Wade stares off silent.

DR. DUGGAN (CONTD)

Listen, as your appointed
therapist, its my job to assess
all employees for the private
military firm and clear them for
active duty. Theres rumblings that
you need to be benched. If you
dont want to be, you have to talk
to me. Ok?

Wade nods.

DR. DUGGAN (CONTD)

Good.
(beat)
Your last physical found fast-
moving cancer in your body thats
too far advanced to be treated. Im
sure that has to be terrifying.
WADE
(shrugs)
I think Ive been handling it fine.

DR. DUGGAN
There are reports of you having
bouts of uncontrollable rage. Your
superiors are worried about your
mental stability.

WADE
Now thats just ridiculous. All
things considered, Ive been cool
as a cucumber.
 6.

DR. DUGGAN
Really? I doubt your primary
physician would agree.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. DOCTORS OFFICE - FLASHBACK

A typical doctors office.

Wade is holding DOCTOR down, bent over his lap. Doctors

pants are down, exposing his bare ass. Wade has a handful of
tongue depressors grasped in the free hand. He holds them
over his head, menacingly.

WADE
Say it! Say I dont have cancer!

DOCTOR
Wade, please!

WADE
(sighs)
I gave you a chance.

Wade swings the depressor bundled hand towards Doctors

exposed posterior. Right before the wooden suppository gets
injected rectally, we...

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. THERAPISTS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

WADE
That sounds like hearsay to me.

DR. DUGGAN
(sighs)
Im sorry, Wade. Im sure that your
mortality is a daunting thought for
you right now. But until you talk
to me, I cannot recommend you
mentally fit for deployment. Hell,
until all of the tests come back,
Im not even sure youre healthy
enough to go on any black ops.

CUT TO:
 7.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

A hole-in-the-wall dive bar.

Wade drinks alone, staring blankly into space.

DR. DUGGAN (V.O.)

I have to put you on medical leave.
Lets schedule your next session
for the same time next week. Ok?

Wade takes a shot and leaves the bar.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES NEW YORK APARTMENT - SHORT TIME LATER

Wade enters the apartment, pharmacy bag in hand, heading

straight for the kitchen.

He pulls out a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet, opens two

pill bottles from the pharmacy bag, and downs some pills with
the help of whiskey.

Wade walks over to his recliner, and sits down ungracefully.

After a moment, he grabs the remote to the TV - which has

been on the entire time - and turns it off.

WADE
(sighs)
Unless youre the reanimated corpse
of Ed McMahon coming to give me a
ten million-dollar check from
Publishers Clearing House, please
leave my palatial estate.

From the shadows, GENERAL LIEFELD - a distinguished man in

his 50s - appears behind Wade. He walks up and faces Wade.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Was I that obvious?

WADE
Youre talking to the National Hide
& Seek Champion of 2005. The winner
gets a medal and a certificate
awarding you the honor to stay 100
feet away from elementary schools.
Please leave.
 8.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Im not here to cause trouble. I
have an offer for you.

WADE
Im not interes-

GENERAL LIEFELD
Youre dying. I can help you.

WADE
Help me what? Die? Thanks, buddy,
but something already beat you to
it.

GENERAL LIEFELD
No, Wade. Not die. I can help you
live.

WADE
Listen, buddy-

GENERAL LIEFELD
General Liefeld.

WADE
Fine. General Liefeld. Nobody can
help me. The doctors cant save me.
These stupid pills they have me
taking cant save me. So I doubt a
stranger hiding in my closet can
save me. They say Ive only got
weeks left.

GENERAL LIEFELD
You never met with my medical
experts. We can save you. You only
have weeks? How would you like
years? Decades?
(beat)
Maybe even longer.

WADE
(pauses)
Is this some kind of Scientology
thing, because if it is-

GENERAL LIEFELD
(frustrated)
Jesus, you talk a lot. Look, this
isnt some religious or New Age
sales pitch. This is real science
backed by my organization that can
cure your disease. And then some.
 9.

WADE
(staring at the blank TV)
No, thank you. Im not interested.
(beat)
Now please go out the way you came.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Very well.

General Liefeld turns to leave.

WADE
And take your friends with you.

Multiple men in covert military outfits, holding automatic

weapons, appear from the bedroom. General Liefeld motions
them to stand down.

As General Liefeld gets to the door, he turns to Wade.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Hows Carmelita?

This catches Wade off-guard. He stands and spins to look at

Liefeld.

WADE
How do you know about her?

GENERAL LIEFELD
We know a lot of things about you.
Including your infatuation with
Carmelita. You havent seen her in
years, correct? Would you like to
see her again?
WADE
What did you do? I swear if theres
so much as a scratch on her-

GENERAL LIEFELD
Relax. Shes fine. We didnt do
anything to her. We just know where
she is. I can take you to her if
youd like.

Wade silently reassesses General Liefeld.

WADE
First, you offer me the cure for
cancer. And then to reunite me with
The One That Got Away. Why? Whats
in it for you?
(MORE)
 10.
WADE (CONT'D)
I mean, Im not usually the one to
sucker punch a gift horse in the
mouth, but usually philanthropists
dont travel around with their own
Howling Commandos. So whats the
catch?

GENERAL LIEFELD
No catch. I want you to come work
for my operation. I work for a very
specific, very covert branch of the
government, and we need a skilled
sharpshooter with black ops
experience like yourself. What Im
offering you is a brand-new lease
on life in exchange for simply
doing what you do best.

WADE
Well that doesnt sound vague,
ominous, or shady as shit at all.
(beat)
But alright.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Are you sure?

WADE
(shrugs)
I was forced on paid vacation, Im
all caught up on episodes of Greys
Anatomy, and the only upcoming
event Ive got is my death - so why
the hell not?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Im glad to hear it. Lets get you
to the base for your treatment.

WADE
Can I pack some things?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Of course.

Wade goes to the closet and grabs his shoulder bag and a pair
of katanas. He places a few bottles of alcohol into the bag.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, and holding the katanas,
he makes his way to the door.

WADE
Alright. Now Im ready.

CUT TO:
 11.

INT. LIEFELDS GOVERNMENT FACILITY - LATER

This is a cold, uninviting government facility. Lets assume

it looks similar to the government facility where Wolverine
got all metal bones. Hell, lets just say that its the EXACT
same set for continuitys sake. 20th Century Fox owns the
rights to X-Men too, so maybe theyll do a crossover. Or not.
I dont know. Or care, really. Its their money. Anywho...

Wade, General Liefeld, and his group of Howling Commandos

walk through the facility.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES MILITARY BEDROOM - SHORT TIME LATER

General Liefeld opens door, turns on the light, and motions

Wade inside.

GENERAL LIEFELD
This will be your room while you
work for us.

The small room is pretty drab. It basically looks like

someone just put a cot in an empty room. Wade is probably not
gonna love this.

WADE
(feigning excitement)
I just love what youve done with
this place! Who needs pastel or
neon when you can bedazzle a space
with the color of dirt.
(beat)
Nah, I can totally make this work.
Put a Farrah poster over there,
bear skin rug over here, and this
place will be nice and cozy in no
time.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Get some rest, Wade. You have a big
day tomorrow.

General Liefeld closes the door. Wade is alone.

WADE
(looking around his shitty
abode)
This sucks.
 12.

Wade sits on the cot, depressed, and take a sharpening stone

out of his bag. He unsheathes one of his katanas and starts
sharpening it.

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY DOCTORS OFFICE - DAY

Wade sits in the chair wearing a hospital gown.

DR. POSEHN - the awkward, nerdy physician who looks so much

like Brian Posehn its uncanny(!) - walks in with General
Liefeld.

WADE
Whos this tall drink of water?

DR. POSEHN
(uneasy)
Ummm...Im Dr. Posehn. Your doctor.

WADE
Sorry, bud. I already have a
doctor. Well, two actually. Ones a
head shrink while the other will
probably be pooping splinters for
awhile.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Wade, this will be the physician
who will be analyzing your progress
and taking care of you from now on.

WADE
Ah, I was just playing with him.
You knew that, didnt you, Andre
the Giant?

DR. POSEHN
(to Liefeld)
Is he always like this?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Im afraid so. Youll learn to
ignore him eventually.
(beat)
Wade, behave for Dr. Posehn.

WADE
Yes, Mom.

General Liefeld exits.

 13.

DR. POSEHN
So how are you today?

WADE
Dying. And you?

DR. POSEHN
Im...fine. Thanks for asking.
First, Im going to need to take
some blood sample-

WADE
Doc, theres something Ive gotta
ask. I feel like youre probably a
pretty trustworthy person. And that
by now youve probably gathered
that if you lied to me I would snap
your neck in the blink of an eye.

DR. POSEHN
Thats a fair assessment.

WADE
This whole cure for my cancer
thing.
(beat)
Its bullshit, right? Liefeld just
sold me the biggest herd of snake
oil known to man, didnt he?

DR. POSEHN
Im a little confused by your
metaphor, but besides that - no. He
was telling the truth. Weve
created something that can cure
your cancer. Youll be healthier
than youve ever been before. Maybe
even healthier than anyones ever
been.

WADE
Healthier than Jack LaLanne?

DR. POSEHN
(at ease)
Oh, I get that joke. Thats funny.
Yes. Healthier than Jack LaLanne.

WADE
Well Ill be damned.
(beat)
If they have this cure, why arent
they giving it to everybody?
 14.

DR. POSEHN
Well, the military isnt one to
freely give things to others when
they can be used to their
advantage. So they are probably
wanting to keep it for their own
interests.

WADE
Yeah, good point. So how does this
work? A pill? Chemo?

DR. POSEHN
Its complicated. Its like a water
tank hyperbaric chamber dialysis
machine hybrid.

WADE
That does sound complicated. And
kinda farfetched. But oh well. Go
on.

DR. POSEHN
Thats pretty much it.

WADE
Thats it? Huh.
(beat)
Well that was anticlimactic.

DR. POSEHN
Yeah. Sorry. But whats important
about it isnt what it is - its
what it does.

WADE
So what - I am submerged in water
while I get a blood transfusion?

DR. POSEHN
Thats part of it.

WADE
Well? What am I missing?

DR. POSEHN
Did General Liefeld really not tell
you the main part of this?

WADE
No. What is it?
 15.

DR. POSEHN
Well, dont shoot the messenger,
but...
(beat)
We have to kill you.

There is a long dramatic stare-off between Wade and Dr.

Posehn. The doctor is intensely looking into Wades eyes to
gauge a reaction to this shocking news. Dramatic music
crescendos, leading up to the tense conclusion...

WADE
Oh.
(beat)
Ok.

Dr. Posehn is taken aback by Wades blase reaction.

DR. POSEHN
Thats your reaction? That was
pretty big news.

WADE
No, I mean, I figured it had to be
something major. With me already
dying and all I figured the cure
would be some form of irony like
this. Makes sense.

DR. POSEHN
(speechless)
Oh, wow. I honestly thought my
revelation would get a different
response.

WADE
(sincere)
Aww, Im sorry, buddy. Wanna tell
me again? Ill act all surprised
and outraged.

DR. POSEHN
(sighs)
No...

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY COMPOUND HALLWAY - DAY

Wade and Dr. Posehn are walking together down the hallway.

Wade is wearing a medical gown.

 16.

DR. POSEHN
So like we went over yesterday, the
reason we have to stop your heart
is because some of the chemicals
and compounds we administer during
the blood transfusion would be
rejected by the body if it was
still alive. So by momentarily
killing you, we can force feed you
those drugs. But the procedure will
be quick and well bring you back
to life soon after.

WADE
(distracted)
Uh-huh.

Wade and Dr. Posehn reach the end of the hall. Dr. Posehn
opens the door.

DR. POSEHN
Now I know this all sounds like
fake sci-fi writing by some hack
writer who didnt even bother to
use Google or WebMD to see if that
is even remotely medically
possible, but I assure you we know
what were doing.

WADE
Oh, Doc, I stopped paying attention
awhile back. I got distracted by
something thats really been
bothering me.

DR. POSEHN
Whats wrong?

WADE
Were there TWO Darrins on
Bewitched?

DR. POSEHN
Where did that-

WADE
So is this where Im going to die?

Wade steps through the door.

CUT TO:
 17.

INT. PROCEDURE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The room looks friggin exactly like the room in Wolverine:

Origins where he had his procedure. After all, FOX owns the
rights and props from both movies; so lets not reinvent the
wheel, people.

In case you dont remember that movie - theres a big see-

through water tank in the middle, medical machines all
around, a fully-equipped nursing staff, with an upper level
for administrators to stand and be lookie-loos during the
science stuff.

DR. POSEHN
Yes, Wade. Are you sure youre
ready?

WADE
As ready as Ill ever be.

General Liefeld walks up with an ASSISTANT.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Wade, its great to see you.

WADE
I bet.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Are you ready to get a new lease on
life?

WADE
A new-?
(beat)
Dude, I think you missed your
calling as a televangelist. Lets
just get this over with.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Excellent. First, I need you to
sign some paperwork. Nothing major.
Just some liability forms, and a
general contract as a new employee
of the military organization.

The assistant extends a clipboard out for Wade to sign the

papers.

WADE
Gee, who knew selling your soul had
so many papers for you to sign?
 18.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Selling your soul?

WADE
I just mean that of course you want
me to do some shady, unethical shit
in exchange for my cure for cancer.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Thats a negative view of what is
happening. We have everyone sign
documents when they become
employees. Youll be well taken
care of.

Wade doesnt even look up as he signs the papers.

WADE
...said the spider to the fly.
(finishes signing)
Relax, guy, I know what Im getting
in to. Lets just do this already.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Ok, then. Lets proceed, doctor.

General Liefeld and the assistant leave for the upper level.

Dr. Posehn and Wade walk up to the metal hospital table.

DR. POSEHN
Please take off the hospital gown
and lay on the table.

WADE
Alright.
Wade disrobes, revealing hes wearing a Speedo.

DR. POSEHN
You, uh, are you going to wear a
Speedo for this?

WADE
Hell yeah I am. Did you think I was
gonna go full frontal for this
thing?

DR. POSEHN
I guess n-

WADE
(to an attractive nurse)
Hey, lady. My eyes are up here.
(MORE)
 19.
WADE (CONT'D)
(to another nurse)
Dont judge. Im a grower, not a
show-er.

Wade gets on the hospital table and lays down.

DR. POSEHN
We will have to strap you down.
Though youll be dead, your body
might twitch during the blood
transfusion, so we need to prevent
the needles from being dislodged.

WADE
Ok.

The nurses start to strap him in. Before his arm gets
strapped in, Wade points sternly at Dr. Posehn.

WADE (CONTD)
But if I wake up and youve made
swords extend out of my wrists, I
guarantee youll never hear the end
of it!

DR. POSEHN
Ok, I promise.

WADE
Good.

The nurses finish strapping him in, and start injecting his
veins with needles.

WADE (CONTD)
(winces)
Whoo. Not the most delicate staff
youve got here.

DR. POSEHN
Sorry.

WADE
So wait - youre gonna dunk me in
this tank at some point?

DR. POSEHN
Yes. Like Ive said before, besides
being medically dead, you also have
to have some weightlessness that
the water tank provides.
 20.

WADE
So this is like the least fun
kiddie pool ever.

DR. POSEHN
Pretty much.
(beat)
Actually, its funny you should use
that word. I kinda came up with a
similar nickname for this machine.

WADE
Really? Whats that.

DR. POSEHN
Dead Pool.

WADE
(beat)
No offense, Doc, but thats a
stupid name.

DR. POSEHN
(dejected)
Maybe youre right.

WADE
(reassuring)
Hey, dont be sad. Maybe nicknames
arent your thing. Youre a great
doctor I bet!

DR. POSEHN
(peps up)
I am a great doctor.
WADE
See? There you go.

DR. POSEHN
Thanks, Wade.

Dr. Posehn checks the status of the team.

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Its time.

WADE
See you on the other side, Doc.

Dr. Posehn gives him a supportive pat on the shoulder, and

then walks away.
 21.

Up on the observation deck, General Liefeld and another

MILITARY GENERAL look down as the procedure is prepped.

MILITARY GENERAL
This better work.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Of course it will work. All of the
tests have shown he is the perfect
candidate for this.

MILITARY GENERAL
Good. Cuz we cant afford a screw
up. Not after the incident with
Stryker.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Stryker is a hack. A joke who got
caught up in his own cause and
hubris. And he chose a wild animal
of a man. That was stupid.

MILITARY GENERAL
Agreed.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Look at Wade. Yeah, I wish hed
shut the hell up most of the time,
but hes a broken and defeated man
who is one hell of a killer.

MILITARY GENERAL
Can we control him?

GENERAL LIEFELD
We wont need to. Hes dying and
were giving him the cure. Hes
indebted to us. Plus, were paying
him to work for us. Pretty sure
hed kill his family if we paid him
to. I can assure you he will go
along with the plan.

MILITARY GENERAL
Have you told him about his
mission?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Of course not. Well get to that
soon enough.
(to Dr. Posehn)
Are we ready, doctor?
 22.

DR. POSEHN
Yes, sir.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Has Wade been sedated?

Wade is strapped in with rows of needles imbedded in his

veins.

WADE
(drugged up)
A trunk full of krugerrands? Riggs,
Im getting too old for this shit.

DR. POSEHN
I honestly dont know.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Start the procedure, doctor.

DR. POSEHN
Yes, sir.
(to control panel
operator)
Lower the patient into the tank.

Wade gets lowered into the water tank.

Wades body lightly twitches as his body naturally struggles

for air. The restraints keep him from moving too much.

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Be ready to begin transfusion. We
have a small window of time. If we
finish too late, we wont be able
to wake him.
Wades body stops twitching. He drowns and dies.

THE END
 23.

Just kidding. That ending wouldve sucked, right?

Anyways...

DR. POSEHN
Begin transfusion.

(This is the series of shots where the Director makes it seem

all tense and sciency. What he - or she, ladies - wants the
audience to feel is a real sense of urgency. As if its
possible that the protagonist and namesake of the movie might
die in the First Act. It isnt. We all know that, but this
sequence HAS to be in the movie to shut up the critics who
claim the science in a COMIC BOOK MOVIE is too far-fetched.
Oy. But lets move on to the end of the procedure.)

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Lets bring him out.

A lifeless Wade is mechanically raised out of the water. The

needles are all removed from his veins.

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Hurry.

The straps are removed. One nurse uses the mouth pump on Wade
while the other performs chest compressions.

Springing to life, Wade lurches to the side and throws up a

bunch of water.
DR. POSEHN (CONTD)
Thank God.

WADE
(groggy)
Hey, doc.
(beat)
Sorry about your shoes.

Dr. Posehn looks down and sees that Wade threw up all over
the lower part of his pants.

DR. POSEHN
Aw, man.
(beat)
How are you feeling?
 24.

WADE
That didnt feel great, but Im ok.

DR. POSEHN
Good.

WADE
The weird thing was my life flashed
before my eyes.
(beat)
A couple times, actually.

DR. POSEHN
Really?

WADE
Yeah. And there were a lot of
inconsistencies...

Wade passes back out on the table.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Excellent work, Doctor. Now get him
to his quarters. I need him rested
and ready for testing tomorrow.

DR. POSEHN
Yes, sir.

CUT TO:

DARK ROOM - NEXT DAY

A large, indistinguishable room due to it being so dark.

General Liefeld is standing in the middle of the room.

Wade is being pushed by ASSISTANT to General Liefeld in a

wheelchair.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Good morning, Wade. How are you
feeling?

WADE
Aww. Look at you - all caring and
stuff.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Back to your usual self, then?

WADE
Actually, I feel great!
 25.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Excellent. Are you able to stand?

Wade stands up.

Assistant pushes the wheelchair away.

WADE
Yup. Im feeling pretty great.
Strong.
(beat)
Like lift heavy objects or not cry
at the end of My Girl anymore
strong.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Dr. Posehn will be running more
tests to make sure the cancers
gone, but he says your stats are
looking better than expected. We
have a specific timeline to stick
to, so I need to start my own tests
immediately. Are you ready?

WADE
(shrugs)
Its your show.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Give me your hand.

WADE
In marriage?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Please.
WADE
Youre no fun.

Wade gives Liefeld his arm. Liefeld pulls out a knife and
makes a large cut on Wades arm. Wade yanks his arm back and
cradles it.

WADE (CONTD)
What the- That hurts like hell!

GENERAL LIEFELD
Look at your cut.

WADE
What?
 26.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Do it.

Wade looks at the cut. He watches as it heals itself.

WADE
Whoa! Howd you do that?

GENERAL LIEFELD
The whole point of the medical
procedure was to enable you to
regenerate any destroyed tissue at
a super-human rate. And making you
immune to all known diseases.

WADE
So Im, like, immortal.
(perks up)
Holy shit - Im a Highlander!

GENERAL LIEFELD
I wouldnt say youre immortal. But
obviously the accelerated healing
factor has been successful. But
lets run some more tests, shall
we?

WADE
(still looking at his arm)
Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Ready.

The lights in the room turn on.

General Liefeld and Wade are standing in the middle of what
turns out to be a firing range.

General Liefeld walks away from Wade towards the side wall.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

Aim.

A military officer stands at every firing point holding

automatic weapons aimed at Wade.

Wades eyes grow wide at the sight of the lethal force.

WADE
Wait. What?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Fire.
 27.

They shoot hundreds of rounds into Wade. Wades body, like

anyone being riddled with holes from machine guns, collapses
to the floor.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

Cease fire!

They obey his command.

Bloody and with chunks missing - huddled in the fetal

position - a lifeless Wade wakes up. Bullets get ejected from
his body and his holes heal rapidly.

Once completely healed, Wade is still huddled in the fetal

position. His clothes have a ton of holes and are covered in
blood. Hes traumatized by the chilling, nightmarish thing
that just happened.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

How are we feeling, Wade?

WADE
(feeble)
That...hurt...so...bad...

GENERAL LIEFELD
Good. Youre not dead.

WADE
Please...

GENERAL LIEFELD
Men: Again.
(beat)
Fire!
The officers once again shoot Wade full of holes.

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY DOCTORS OFFICE - NEXT DAY

Wade sits, unusually quiet, while Dr. Posehn looks at a

medical folder.

Dr. Posehn noticed Wades faraway gaze.

DR. POSEHN
(concerned)
Are you ok?

Wade doesnt seem to hear him.

 28.

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Wade?

Wade snaps back.

WADE
What?

DR. POSEHN
I asked if you were ok.

WADE
Oh. Yeah. Totally fine, Doc.

DR. POSEHN
I have great news. The cancer has
completely disappeared. Youre
cured!

WADE
(distracted)
Oh. Ok. Great.

Dr. Posehn walks over and points the light into Wades eyes.

DR. POSEHN
Are you feeling any mental or
emotional effects since the
procedure?

WADE
No. I mean, I totally cried at the
end of The Notebook last night; but
I do that every time I watch it, so
I dont think that meant anything.
DR. POSEHN
I see.
(beat)
Wade, I need to ask you something
and I need you to answer honestly.

WADE
Sure.

DR. POSEHN
I know what happened with the
General and the firing squad.

WADE
You do?
 29.

DR. POSEHN
Yes. And I am so sorry he did that
to you. But I also know they
repeated the process once you fully
healed 14 more times.

WADE
I remember this, Doc. Whats your
question?

DR. POSEHN
On scale of 1 to 10
(beat)
How badly did that hurt?

WADE
How bad did it hurt?

DR. POSEHN
Yes.

WADE
Doc. Buddy. Pal. It hurt when the
General cut my arm with the knife.
It felt like someone. Was cutting.
My arm. With a KNIFE.
(beat)
The hundreds of round of bullets
that riddled my body 15
monkeyfrickin times was a kind of
pain I cant possibly describe.

DR. POSEHN
I understand.

WADE
No you dont. You couldnt possibly
understand.
(beat)
But thats ok. Youre a good dude.
I hope you never understand that
kind of pain.

DR. POSEHN
Thank you.

WADE
But I guess if you need it for your
files, the best way to describe it
is that even though the procedure
causes me to heal super fast, it
hasnt dulled the pain or my senses
at all.
 30.

Dr. Posehn writes in his file.

DR. POSEHN
Wade, Im really sorry-

WADE
Dont be; you didnt do it.

DR. POSEHN
And I appreciate you saying that.
But I hate that it happened.

WADE
I know.

DR. POSEHN
(sighs)
All of your test results clear you
for duty. So today is the last day
youll see me.

Dr. Posehn extends his hand.

DR. POSEHN (CONTD)

Take care of yourself, Wade.

They shake hands.

WADE
You too, Doc. Thank you for
everything.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES MILITARY BEDROOM - DAY

Wade sits on his cot watching a movie.

General Liefeld walks in.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Wade.

WADE
General Trigger-Happy.

GENERAL LIEFELD
About that - I hope you dont hold
any ill will against me and you
understand why we had to do that.

WADE
Its all good. So whats up?
 31.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Pack your things. Were headed to
New York.

WADE
(perks up)
Really? Can we go see the musical
Rent?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Umm, no. You have training and work
to do.
(beat)
And I dont think Rent is on stage
there anymore.

WADE
Well arent you a Big Bag of Fun
today.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Pack up. We leave at 1800 hours.

General Liefeld turns and walks out.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK PRIVATE AIRFIELD - THAT NIGHT

General Liefeld, a handful of heavily armed and armored men,

and Wade exit a private jet and walk towards a parked convoy
of SUVs.

The only person waiting outside of the SUVs is BUTLER - an

older, lean, bespectacled, ominous bald man with a beard.
The military personal pass by and get into the SUVs. General
and Wade walk up to Butler.

BUTLER
Liefeld. Glad you made it safely.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Thank you, sir.
(beat)
Wade, I would like to introduce you
to Butler.

WADE
You got me a butler? Fancy!

BUTLER
Excuse me?
 32.

GENERAL LIEFELD
No, THIS is Butler.

WADE
My butlers name is Butler? What
are the odds?

BUTLER
My name. Is Butler. I am not a
butler. I am a man of science. And
you work for me. So I expect
respect.

WADE
(faux whisper to Liefeld)
My butler seems kinda grumpy.

GENERAL LIEFELD
(dryly to Butler)
You get used to it.

BUTLER
You do?

GENERAL LIEFELD
(sighs)
Not really.

BUTLER
Either way, lets get you back to
the base. We have a lot of work to
do.

WADE
Okie-dokie.
The three of them walk to the SUVs and get it.

CUT TO:

INT. SHOOTING RANGE - DAY - (FLASHBACK DREAM)

From Wades view, we see him look down at his bloody hands.

Then he looks up to see General Liefeld walk away from him.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Again.

WADE
No...please...
 33.

A hail of fire rips into Wade.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. WADES NEW YORK MILITARY BEDROOM - PRESENT DAY

Wade awakes with a start bolts up in bed. Hes sweating

profusely and breathing heavily due to that traumatic dream.

He raises his hands to wipe sweat from his face, when he

notices the bed sheet stuck to the back of his left hand.

Confused, he starts to peel the sheet off his hand, but he

stops when he realizes it hurts to do that.

WADE
What in the hell?

Grimacing, Wade slowly peels the sheet completely off.

He looks at the top of his left hand. Hes not quite sure
what hes looking at.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Wade enters and turns on the light of the bathroom to see his
hand better.

It appears to be an open sore that covers almost the entire

top of his left hand.

WADE
Is this
(looks closer)
An open sore?

Yeah, dude, thats what I just said. Pay attention.

Wade touches it.

WADE (CONTD)
Ow! Shit!

Wade opens the medicine cabinet and takes out bandages. He

covers the sore.

CUT TO:
 34.

INT. NEW YORK MILITARY BASE HALLWAY - EVENING

Wade, wearing black gloves walks toward General Liefelds

office, but Liefeld and some officers meet him halfway.

They walk past Wade.

GENERAL LIEFELD
(calling back)
Lets go, Wade. Its time for your
first assignment.

WADE
Road trip?

GENERAL LIEFELD
We are going off base, yes.

Wade catches up to them.

WADE
Cool!
(beat)
Shotgun!

CUT TO:

EXT. SHIPYARD - NIGHT

A seemingly-vacant shipyard. Large export containers are

lined and stacked as far as the eye can see.

Wade, General Liefeld, and a handful of military officials in

stealth gear stand waiting in a dimly lit spot.
WADE
So, are we stopping something bad,
or about to do something bad?
(beat)
Either way, Im cool with it. Im
just freezing my balls off, so
lets get to it.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Patience.

Two military officials in stealth gear appear in the distance

dragging a MAN - with a bag over his head and hands tied
behind his back - by his arms towards the group.

Once they arrive, they prop the man on his knees and remove
the bag.
 35.

The man seems like an average middle-aged guy. His mouth is

covered with duct tape. His eyes look terrified and confused
as to what is going on.

WADE
Ummm...hi.
(to Liefeld)
This is our top secret assignment?
Whatd he do? Take your stapler?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Im afraid what hes done is far
more dangerous to our nations
security.

General Liefeld turns around and steps dramatically as if

hes going to go into a grandiose speech.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

You see, this man is part of a
group who is set on undermining-

BANG!

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

(startled)
Jesus!

General Liefeld spins around.

Wade, holding a smoking gun, is standing over the now-dead

man who is laying on his side and his heads bleeding from a
bullet wound.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

(flustered)
Wade, why on Earth did you do that?

WADE
(sheepish)
Oh snap, dude, my bad. Did you not
want me to kill him? Did I read
that wrong?

GENERAL LIEFELD
No, I mean yes, I wanted you to
kill him. You just caught me off
guard.

WADE
Whew! I was starting to feel like a
real horses patoot there for a
second.
 36.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Dont you want to know why I had
you kill him?

Wade holsters his gun.

WADE
Not really. You point - I shoot.
That was our deal.

Wade starts to walk towards their cars.

WADE (CONTD)
(pats Liefeld on the butt
as he walks by)
Good game.
(beat)
I think I saw a taco truck down the
street. Anybody want a chimichanga?
My treat!

Wade opens the back door to the SUV and hops in.

OFFICER 1
Well stay back and make the body
disappear, sir.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Leave it here. I want to send a
message.

OFFICER 1
Yes, sir.

CUT TO:

INT. PROCEDURE ROOM - (FLASHBACK DREAM)

Wade, unconscious, is mid-procedure in the water tank.

Dr. Posehn stands near a control panel.

Wades eyes burst open. He looks around and sees everyone is

staring at him. He tries to scream and struggles to get out
of the tank, but hes strapped down.

Air bubbles burst out of his mouth.

Dr. Posehn runs to him to try and help, but military officers
stop him and holding his arms behind his back.
 37.

Wade is thrashing around, pounding on the tank with his

fists, trying to kick his way out. Hes losing oxygen. Hes
going to drown.

Wade looks over at Dr. Posehn.

General Liefeld is standing in front of Dr. Posehn. Hes

saying something, but Wade cant make out the words hes
mouthing.

General Liefeld steps back, raises a handgun, and shoots Dr.

Posehn point blank.

Wade screams in anger, letting out the last of his oxygen.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. WADES NEW YORK MILITARY BEDROOM - PRESENT DAY

Wade wakes with a start.

The hyper-realistic dream got him soaking wet with sweat.

He wipes his face with the sheets.

WADE
Not exactly my favorite type of wet
dream.

Wade inspects the bandage on his left hand. Then he looks

under it.

The sore is still there.

WADE (CONTD)
Time to replace you with a clean
one.

Wade whips his legs around and drops his feet to the carpet.

He begins to stand, but his sheets dont seem to want to let

go of his legs.

Wade suspects he knows why, but hopes hes wrong.

Hes not.

As he slowly peels the sheets away to uncover his legs, he

discovers that both thighs have a few open sores.
 38.

WADE (CONTD)
I guess this means Im gonna have
to wash my jeans more than once a
year.

Wade feebly tries to chuckle about the situation.

He lightly touches one of the sores.

It really hurts. Obviously.

WADE (CONTD)
(frustrated at the intense
pain)
Fu-ah! Dammit.

CUT TO:

EXT. SHIPYARD - DAY

The same area as the night before is now an active crime

scene.

Police are all around and have yellow tape making a

perimeter. A sheet is draped over the dead body.

Crouching over the body and peering under the sheet,

DETECTIVE EMILY PRESTON - a strong, African-American, ethical
woman wearing disposable gloves to not contaminate the crime
scene - studies the deceased.

As Detective Preston stands, DETECTIVE FABIAN - her Hispanic

male partner - walks up to her.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Do we know who the victim is?

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Not yet. His fingerprints are being
sent off to run through the
database.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
The bullet entry point is angled in
a way that would indicate he was
shot from above.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
So the killer was taller than him.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Maybe. But maybe the shooters
height is irrelevant.
 39.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
What do you mean?

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Here - look at this.

Detective Preston walks over and throws back the sheet to

expose the victims body.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

You see how his pants are all
scuffed at the knees?

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Yeah.

Detective Preston walks over and lifts one of the victims

arms.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
And how his wrists have parallel
scratches and cuts?

DETECTIVE FABIAN
You think he was dragged here on
his knees and executed?

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Thats what Im thinking.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Who would want this guy killed? He
looks like a pencil-pusher. Whatd
he do - steal their stapler?

Detective Preston shoots him a look.

DETECTIVE FABIAN (CONTD)
Sorry. Lame joke.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
It really was.

Detectives Preston and Fabian walk towards their car.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

Before you enroll in much-needed
comedy classes, lets find out who
this guy was. Maybe that might tell
us why he was killed.

CUT TO:
 40.

INT. LARGE AIRPLANE HANGER - NIGHT

The large airplane hanger is a maze of rooms and hallways.

Almost like its been constructed to resemble an entire floor
of an office building. Hell, if one didnt know any better,
one might assume this is a hint towards something that will
happen later in the story. Hmm. Weird.

Anyways, Wade is dressed in black stealth clothes inside the

front doors of the hanger. Hes talking to General Liefeld
who is, as always, accompanied by Officer 1 and other
military officers - also in stealth gear. He has his katanas
in his hand.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Alright, Wade. We are going to run
a stimulation to see how quickly
you can get through the armed men.
Find and locate every hostile and
take them out. Well indicate when
youve terminated the final one.

WADE
I havent done laser tag since the
third grade birthday party.
(beat)
I mean, it wasnt that long ago.
Maybe only two years ago. But it
WAS some kids third grade party.
(beat)
Man, some moms were pissed at me!

GENERAL LIEFELD
(interrupts)
Wade.
WADE
Sorry. Im back now from memory
lane.

GENERAL LIEFELD
This isnt laser tag. The men will
be shooting live rounds.

WADE
(dry)
Oh great. So do I get anything to
actually defend myself this time?

GENERAL LIEFELD
You do.
 41.

WADE
(perks up)
Really? Can it be my swords? I
dont mean to brag, but Im pretty
awesome with my swords.

GENERAL LIEFELD
No. Not your swords. I dont want
you to kill my men.
(beat)
You get this gun.

Officer 1 hands Wade his weapon.

WADE
A paintball gun?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Yes. The moment you hit the men in
the vest with the gun, the sensors
indicate a kill.

WADE
But they are using real guns?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Correct.

WADE
(sighs)
Super.

Wade hands Officer 1 his katanas.

WADE (CONTD)
Hold these for me please.
(stern)
But dont let anything happen to
these. I got them from a very
special place, and theyre
irreplaceable.

OFFICER 1
Im sure we could get you another
pair from Japan.

WADE
Japan? No, dude, I got those from
Sharper Image.

OFFICER 1
Sharper Ima-?
 42.

WADE
And those stores dont even exist
anymore!

GENERAL LIEFELD
Enough.
(beat)
Get into position.

Gun in hand, Wade walks towards the mock hallway.

General Liefeld, Officer 1, and the others walk out the door.

As the door closes, General Liefeld turns around.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

And, Wade, in this simulation, the
security alarms have been
triggered, so theyll be coming at
you aggressively.

WADE
Wait. What?!

GENERAL LIEFELD
Good luck.

The doors close shut. The security alarm goes off. Its
deafeningly loud. The mock office floors lights go on-and-
off like a strobe light, aimed to disorient.

MUSIC CUE: Smile by Nat King Cole

A few hostiles come charging from the end of the hallway as

they fire at Wade.
Wade ducks for cover. Once planted, he aims around the corner
and fires at the hostiles - hitting both of them in the
vests.

The hostiles stop firing and running once theyre hit, and
start casually walking out of the mock location.

Wade, now snapped into well-trained mercenary mode, carefully

points the gun as he makes his way down the hall.

Theres a ton of fake office rooms he goes into where he

shoots some people firing at him.

Wade slides into cover on the other side of a door frame.

Wood and plywood explode near him as Wade picks his right
moment to fire.
 43.

He advances down the hall. A hostile sneaks up behind him and

puts him in an arm lock which causes Wades gun to fly out of
his hand.

Wade reacts swiftly by elbowing the hostile in the face, then

pushing backwards forcefully so they both go crashing through
the office wall. Once down, Wade knocks out the hostile
with one punch to the face.

Wade retrieves his paintball gun, walks up to the TKOd

hostile, and shoots him in the chest.

Three hostiles make their way from the far end, spraying the
walls around Wade with gun fire.

Wade slides across the floor from the room to the one across
the hall, shooting and nailing all three of them.

Despite his Merc with a Mouth attitude, he IS a lethal

killing machine when he needs to be.

Hes so proficient, in fact, that during this sequence, we

never see him directly get shot. Which leads us to...

END MUSIC

BUZZZZZZ!

The lights come up, and General Liefeld and the officers walk
back into the hanger.

General Liefeld looks at his stopwatch.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

(calls out)
Three minutes and twenty-eight
seconds!
(beat)
Lets set up and try to get it
under three, shall we?

Theres no response.

GENERAL LIEFELD (CONTD)

Wade?

Wade slowly appears from one of the rooms connected to the

main hallway. Putting his weight against the door frame, he
turns and walks down the hall towards Liefeld while leaning
against the wall.

His body is riddled with bullets, his clothes covered in his

blood.
 44.

WADE
(weak)
Alright, boss. But can I have a
minute?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Of course, Wade! In fact, Ill give
you two.

Wade slumps down to the floor with his back against the wall.

WADE
Thanks. Youre too kind.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES NEW YORK MILITARY BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT

Wade walks in exhausted and with his stealth outfit full of

bullet holes and dried blood.

He absentmindedly throws his katanas on his bed as he

staggers into his bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Wade turns on the water in the shower to let it get hot.

He stares into the mirror, clearly mentally affected by the

recent wounds that have already healed.

Wade starts to undress. As he tries to take his shirt off, he

stops abruptly in searing pain.

Very carefully, he attempts to pull up the shirt. As he does

so, he sees two open sores on his abdomen.

WADE
Well, this sure is getting old.

KNOCK KNOCK

Wade pulls the shirt back down and leaves the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. WADES NEW YORK MILITARY BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Wade walks to the door and opens it.

 45.

Its General Liefeld.

WADE
General Liefeld, I wasnt expecting
to see you hear this late.
(beat)
Wait. Is this a booty call?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Get dressed, Wade. You have a
mission to execute tonight. Be
ready in five.

General Liefeld turns and leaves.

Wade shuts the door and sighs. He slowly, painfully removes

his shirt and tosses it on the floor in the corner of the
room.

CUT TO:

INT. GISCHLERS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The inside of the house is dark without the lights on.

The front door opens and VICTOR GISCHLER - a middle-aged man

in a suit carrying a briefcase who looks like he
wouldnt/couldnt hurt a fly - walks into the house, turns on
the overhead light, sets his keys on the table, and starts to
walk into the living room.

WADE (O.S.)
Arent you gonna say Honey, Im
home?
Victor is startled by the unexpected voice.

Wade is comfortably sitting on the couch, his right hand

concealed under a pillow, staring at Victor.

VICTOR
Who...
(beat)
Who are you?

WADE
Ah, that doesnt matter, Victor. It
wouldnt change things.

VICTOR
What do you want?
 46.

WADE
A pony. Well, maybe not. Theyre so
high maintenance. You gotta pay for
stables, for food, and boy o boy do
they poop a lot!

Wade reveals his right hand thats holding a gun pointed at

Victor.

WADE (CONTD)
Why Im here has nothing to do with
what I want. Its just what I have
to do. No hard feelings, ok?

VICTOR
No, please. I...I...
(beat)
I have a wife and kids! They need
me!

WADE
(sighs)
For one, you arent wearing a
wedding ring. So if you were
married either you arent anymore
or someone forgot to put their ring
on after the trip to the strip
club. Secondly, if you had kids
than you wouldnt have a certain
magazine laying around in the
bathroom. Im not judging - Juggs
is a very distinguished
publication.

VICTOR
I do have kids that I-
WADE
Victor, its over. Im sorry.

VICTOR
Please.

BANG!

CUT TO:

INT. GISCHLERS LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING

The room is an active crime scene. Police officers are

walking around and forensic experts are dusting for prints
both around the room and on the dead body of Victor Gischler.
 47.

Detective Preston is combing through Gischlers unopened

mail.

Detective Fabian walks into the room on his cell phone.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Alright thanks.
(hangs up)
Preston, we have a lead.

Preston hands some mail to a UNIFORMED COP.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Bag this and take it back to the
station.

Preston and Fabian leave the apartment.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Preston and Fabian walk down the stairs.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Get this - our victim here, Dr.
Victor Gischler, was employed by a
research facility on 42nd Street
and Madison Avenue.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Why does that sounds familiar?

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Thats the same place Dr. Dazo
worked.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
The victim at the shipyard.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Thats one hell of a coincidence.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Did you see how Dr. Gischler was
shot? Execution-style that was very
precise. Just like Dazo.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Youre thinking its the same guy?
 48.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
I think so.

CUT TO:

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING STAIRWELL

Preston and Fabian get into Prestons car.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
And I think we need to find out
whats so special about this
research company before more get
killed.

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Agreed.

Fabian puts on his seat belt as Preston starts the car.

Fabian looks bothered by something and sighs.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
What is it?

DETECTIVE FABIAN
Nothing. I just...
(beat)
Ever get the feeling that your life
is not your own? Like your only
purpose is furthering along someone
elses story?

DETECTIVE PRESTON
(rolls her eyes)
Oh god.

They drive off.

CUT TO:

INT. BUTLERS MEDICAL OFFICE - DAY

Wade, wearing his medical gown backwards, is sitting

patiently on the examination table.

He now has open sores on his arms, and one on his cheek.

Butler enters with a clipboard.

 49.

BUTLER
(quickly covers face)
Whoa! Why is your gown backwards?

WADE
Because then my naked butt would be
exposed, and thats just
inappropriate.

BUTLER
(sighs)
Fine. But cover your front please.

WADE
Okie-dokie.

Wade complies.

Butler sits down.

BUTLER
We got the results back from the
tests-

WADE
Am I dying again?

BUTLER
No.

WADE
So whats happening?

BUTLER
Your cells are regenerating.
WADE
I dont understand. Werent they
supposed to do that?

BUTLER
Yes, but we didnt anticipate both
healthy and cancerous, damaged
cells to regenerate - which they
both are - at such a fast rate.
This is quite remarkable.

WADE
Well, Im glad youre impressed,
but unless you suggest I change my
career to become a Phantom of the
Opera or move to Elm Street to
scare horny teens, how are we going
to cure me?
 50.

BUTLER
You are cured, Wade.

WADE
So Im stuck like this? Will I get
more sores?

BUTLER
I dont know. Maybe. Probably.

WADE
(defeated)
Friggin fantastic. At least now
women will finally want me for my
mind and not my body.

BUTLER
I know you are discouraged-

WADE
Of course Im discouraged. These
hurt. All the time. And youre
saying Ill get more? Do you know
how that feels? Let me tell you: It
sucks.

BUTLER
I can try to find ways to manage
the pain.

WADE
Is this where you issue me a
medical marijuana card and send me
on my way?

The office phone rings. Butler picks it up.

BUTLER
Yes?
(beat)
Ok. Ill let him know.

Butler hangs up.

BUTLER (CONTD)
The General says to gear up and
head over.

WADE
Of course he does.

BUTLER
Give me some time. Well figure
something out.
 51.

WADE
Awesome.

Wade stands up and walks towards the door. As he does so, he

disrobes.

However, the gown is stuck to a new sore on the back of his

thigh. He stops, painfully yanks the gown free, and hands it
to Butler.

Naked, minus white socks, he opens the door and walks out.

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY COMPOUND HALLWAY - LATER

Wade, in full tactical gear, walks with General Liefeld down

the hallway.

Liefeld hands him a folder containing a single surveillance

photo of the target.

GENERAL LIEFELD
For this mission, be on alert. The
target is guarded by highly trained
individuals, and youre on your
own, so this will pose a major
challenge for you.

WADE
Got it.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS HOME - THAT NIGHT

The front door of this cold yet lavish house outside of the
city is open.

Guards are strewn about the hallway and different rooms.

All of them dead.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Wade takes off his tactical mask, sets it on the desk, and
sits down in front of the computer.
 52.

He slides a flash drive into the computer and starts

uploading the content of the drive.

WADE
Alright, Im in the system. What
now?

General Liefeld speaks into Wades earpiece.

GENERAL LIEFELD (V.O.)

Already?!

WADE
Yup.

GENERAL LIEFELD (V.O.)

All of the guards-

WADE
Dead.

GENERAL LIEFELD (V.O.)

And the target?

Wade looks over at the corner of the room where a very dead
DR. HICKMAN - another middle-aged white guy who looks
harmless - is slumped over.

WADE
Same.

GENERAL LIEFELD (V.O.)

Huh. Wow. I actually thought that
would take longer.

WADE
If youd like, I could call you
back after a few games of online
poker.

GENERAL LIEFELD (V.O.)

No, I mean..
(clears his throat)
Upload our file, download the hard
drive, and get back here.

WADE
No problemo. Uploading is almost
complete.

CUT TO:
 53.

INT. HICKMANS HOME - CONTINUOUS

Someone hesitantly steps foot into the house. Their feet can
be seen slowly moving forward towards the hallway.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Wade removes the flash drive from the computer and slides a
new one in. He starts to download all of the data.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The hesitant individuals feet enter the hallway, trying

their best not to make any sound as they head towards the
office at the other end.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Wade removes the flash drive.

WADE
Finished. Im heading out now.

Wade stands up.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (O.S.)

Freeze! Police!
Wade freezes as commanded - initially shocked at being caught
by surprise.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

Put your hands above your head.

Detective Preston stands at the doorway with her gun firmly

pointed at the back of Wades head.

Wade complies, but his shock has worn off and now hes
slightly annoyed. He isnt in the mood to kill a cop.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

Now kneel.

Wade kneels.
 54.

WADE
Listen, officer, I have the utmost
respect for what you and your
colleagues do and I dont mean to
be rude, but Im going to have to
cut our date short. Im a little
busy. So if you dont mind, Im
going to have to ask to be excused-

Preston walks up behind him, still pointing the gun with her
right hand, and grabs her handcuffs with her left.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
You arent going anywhere. Im
placing you under arrest. Now put
your hands behind your back.
Slowly.

Wade slowly complies.

Preston brings the cuffs towards his wrists.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

You have the right to remain
silent. Anything you-

The moment Wade feels shes right behind him, he throws his
body back against hers. Caught off-guard and off-balance,
Preston crashes into the bookcase.

Wade grabs his mask and sprints out of the room.

Snatching up her gun, Preston gets up and runs after him.

CUT TO:

INT. HICKMANS HOME - CONTINUOUS

By the time Preston enters the hallway, Wade is at the front

door.

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Stop!

Wade does not comply.

Preston fires her gun.

The bullet hits Wade in the shoulder, sending him face first
onto the porch.

Thinking hes down for good, Preston holsters her gun and
dials a number on her phone as she walks down the hall.
 55.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

Detective Preston calling for
backup. I have a suspect down.
Address is...

Detective Prestons voice trails off as she sees Wade rising

from the cement.

Wade looks at her.

The sight of his face - sores and all - causes her to freeze
in shock for a moment.

Seeing his opportunity, he dashes out of sight before she can

compose herself and pull out her gun again.

DETECTIVE PRESTON (CONTD)

Dammit.

Preston runs out the door and looks around for where he could
have gone. Realizing hes disappeared into the night, she
walks back inside.

Then something occurs to her.

Walking back to the porch, she squats down by where Wade

fell.

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY COMPOUND SUPPLY ROOM

Wade is wearing - covering his entire body from the neck down
- all black, stretchy, moisture wicking fabric. Hes
inspecting the skin-tight clothing as he tests it out by
making moving around.

Standing nearby are Butler and TAILOR - a tiny bald man who
designed the outfit.

BUTLER
What do you think, Wade? This
fabric has been designed to hug
your body while lessening the pain
caused by your sores. How does it
feel?

WADE
It feels fine, but...

BUTLER
But what?
 56.

Wade gestures to his whole body.

WADE
Does it have to be in all black?
Cmon, I look like a California
Raisin!

BUTLER
Its designed to allow you full
mobility so it doesnt hinder you
in the field. It doesnt need to be
aesthetically pleasing.

WADE
And its great! I love it. Really
do. Great job, Tailor.

TAILOR
Thanks-

WADE
Whoa, buddy, settle down. No one
likes a braggart.

BUTLER
Wade-

WADE
Look, Butler, when Im out in the
field, I gotta feel... like a
badass. Its important to me. I
need to psych myself up. I gotta
look good, feel good. And I dont
in this, Broham. I look like the
black sheep of the Blue Man Group
family.
BUTLER
Fine. Work with him to design
whatever the hell you want.

WADE
Great!

Wade throws his arm around Tailor.

WADE (CONTD)
And I was just kidding before,
Bubba. You can be all braggy around
me if youd like.

Wade kisses Tailors bald spot on the top of his head.

 57.

WADE (CONTD)
Man, your head is shiny!

Butler starts to walk towards the door.

BUTLER
(unamused)
Ill check in with you later.

WADE
Super.
(to Tailor)
So what colors are good for hiding
blood stains?

General Liefeld comes storming in. Hes livid.

GENERAL LIEFELD
(to Wade)
What in the hell happened last
night?

Wade releases Tailor, who scurries to the little table with

his pieces of fabric.

WADE
(calmly)
What do you mean? I went in, bang
bang bang, upload, download, and I
left with the target dead and the
intel acquired. Then I came back
here.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Are you forgetting something? Like,
oh I dont know, maybe the fact
that a cop tried to arrest you?

WADE
I think she said she was a
detective.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Wade!

WADE
Ok, fine. Yes, a detective did pull
a gun on me. But no, I didnt
almost get arrested. Im awesome at
combat, remember? I practically
wrote the book on Krav Maga.
(beat)
Is it Magra? Or Maga?
(shrugs)
(MORE)
 58.
WADE (CONT'D)
I think its Maga. Anyways, the
point is I got away clean without
leaving any fingerprints. Were
good.

GENERAL LIEFELD
We are anything but good, Wade. She
retrieved your blood from the crime
scene. How did that happen?

WADE
(remembering)
Oh yeah, she did shoot me once.

Tailor and Butler are surprised hes just now remembering.

WADE (CONTD)
(acknowledging the looks)
Hey, my body feels like its on
fire 24/7, ok? So excuse me if I
dont remember one tiny bullet
wound.

GENERAL LIEFELD
(sighs)
She ran your DNA through the
system, and has identified its
yours. Now theres an APB out for
your arrest in the connection with
multiple homicides. This makes our
job harder, Wade. Now you have to
be careful out there so as not to
get spotted.

WADE
Well, Tailors making me a mask.
Thatll help, right?

GENERAL LIEFELD
A guy walking around New York City
in a stretchy body suit wearing a
mask isnt ideal, but well have to
make due.
(beat)
Why didnt you kill her too?

WADE
She wasnt the mission.

GENERAL LIEFELD
The mission is to leave no
witnesses and complete the task
whatever means necessary.
 59.

Wade disagrees with this, but keeps it to himself.

Butler steps in.

BUTLER
General, may I speak with you a
moment?

GENERAL LIEFELD
Of course.

BUTLER
Wade, you two work on the suit
together. Ill touch base with you
later.

General Liefeld and Butler walk out the door.

Wade walks over to join Tailor at the table.

WADE
(singing to himself)
I heard it through the grapevine.

CUT TO:

INT. MILITARY COMPOUND HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

General Liefeld and Butler walk down the hall.

GENERAL LIEFELD
What did you need to speak to me
about? Is there something wrong
with Wades treatment?
BUTLER
On the contrary. His test results
are extraordinary. Better than we
had hoped for.

GENERAL LIEFELD
You mean, besides whats going on
with his skin?

BUTLER
(dismissive)
Pfft. Irrelevant. All of his cells,
good or bad, are regenerating at an
incredibly fast speed. And over the
last few months theyve just
growing faster!
(MORE)
 60.
BUTLER (CONT'D)
I consider this a complete success,
and will be reporting to our
interested party overseas that we
are ready for Phase Two.

GENERAL LIEFELD
How long will it take for them to
set up a similar facility to this
one?

BUTLER
We dont need one. I have enough of
Wades DNA samples that well be
able to duplicate the process with
minimal utilities.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Excellent.

BUTLER
I should be on a plane and over
there in less than 48 hours. Finish
the mission, dispose of the
annoying merc with the never-ending
mouth, and then meet me over there.

GENERAL LIEFELD
Yes, sir.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BAXTER BUILDING LOBBY - DAY

The lobby is a clean, pristine, expansive space that takes up

the entire first floor of The Baxter Building.
People in business suits and lab coats walk in and out
chatting with each other.

The large circular front desk is located close to the metal

detectors that you must go through to get to the elevators.
Security guards stand nearby having a friendly conversation
with the women at the front desk.

Detectives Preston and Fabian walk into the building, looking

around.

Seeing the front desk, they walk over to it.

The RECEPTIONIST - an incredibly friendly woman in her early

20s - perks up as Preston and Fabian approach.
 61.

RECEPTIONIST
Good morning! How may I help you?

DETECTIVE PRESTON
Good morning. I need to speak to
the head of security please.