Let Happiness Flourish for Children at School and at home

Excerpts from New York Times Article based on Interview with Emma Seppala, Stanford
We cannot afford to lose Happiness at home or in our classrooms, as it forms the very foundation
of deep, meaningful learning. Happy kids show up at school more able to learn because they tend
to sleep better and may have healthier immune systems. Happy kids learn faster and think more
creatively. They are more resilient in the face of failures. Happy kids have stronger relationships
and make new friends more easily. Happiness in the Classroom is not common. However, we can
create and protect learning conditions in which happiness can flourish.

Unfortunately, we put our childrens happiness at risk when we model the myths of success:
the belief that success is inextricably tied to stress and anxiety, perseverance at all costs,
avoidance of personal weakness, and a myopic focus on cultivating expertise in a specialized
niche. We may tell kids that we want them to be happy, and that their learning matters more
than their grades, but when, in actual practice we model the myths of success in our own lives,
they know the truth and we sabotage the very happiness and learning we claim to value.

Here are six behaviours that we actually need to model

1. Live in the moment. Rather than encouraging children to live from one to-do item to the
next, help them focus and enjoy whatever activity they are engaged in now. While a little
bit of stress about the next to-do can serve as a motivator, long-term chronic stress
impairs both physical health and intellectual faculties such as attention and memory.

2. Model resilience. We can help them train their nervous systems to be resilient, and to
thrive in the face of difficulties and challenges and help kids find respite from the
pressures of achievement. Techniques such as meditation, yoga and breathing exercises
help your children rest their minds and bodies recover from the physical and emotional
damage stress can impart. You have to model these behaviours yourself first!

3. Manage your energy. While negative emotions can be damaging the compulsive need for
constant, high-intensity positive emotions takes a toll as well. Western societies value
excitement and other high-intensity positive emotions over low-intensity positive
emotions such as calm. While theres nothing wrong with excitement and fun, children
need to also learn the ability to calm down and function from a centered, peaceful place,
saving precious mental energy for tasks that need it most

4. Do nothing. Taking time off to disconnect and relax focus helps promote kids creativity
and insights. Children need time for idleness, fun and irrelevant interests too

5. Be kind to yourself. Excessive self-criticism can cause harm & become self-sabotage.
Learning from mistakes should not mean excessive focus on the negatives - that leaves
kids anxious and more afraid of failure. Self-compassion, however, improves childrens
ability to excel in the face of challenges, develop new skills & learn from mistakes.

6. Children who are supportive and compassionate toward others are more successful.
Research shows this. Children are naturally compassionate and kind; we simply need to
protect these traits. Also joy comes naturally to them. The responsibility for its absence
lies at the feet of parents, teachers and administrators who have pushed happiness out
of its native habitat to make room for the toxicity of anxiety, stress and fear.