DOES IT MATTER?

Many people feel that whether humans had a chemical origin or a divine
origin doesn't really matter; their problems at work, at home and in their
minds appear to be of far greater importance. But we would like to propose
that most of the problems that haunt modern man are caused by a blunder
at this first step. Humanity's understanding of how it came about determines
its goals, values and attitudes. "If I came from matter, material enjoyment is
the goal of my life. And because my predecessors survived and prospered
only due to their expertise in savage competition and warfare, I too have to
do the same to succeed in life. Beg, borrow, steal, even kill, but get money
and enjoy life." "But if my identity is spiritual and God is my eternal loving
Father, going back to His kingdom becomes the goal of my life. And I should
therefore curb the animal within me and be caring, virtuous, magnanimous
and devoted to God."

Most of the world's problems are due to a decline in character and morality
in humanity. Mahatma Gandhi stated, "There is enough in this world for
everyone's need but not enough for one man's greed." Statistical surveys
show that the earth can easily feed the entire world population and much
more if the vast tracts of land that are currently used for producing non-
essential cash crops like tobacco, drugs, tea, coffee, etc are used for
producing essential food-grains. This is just a simple example to show how
greed and not shortage is the real cause of the problem of world hunger. The
same principle is applicable to all the problems of the world.

Evolutionary theory teaches that savage warfare and exploitation promote

the highest good. It thus creates and fuels the greed that causes the
problems of the world. Martin Luther King Jr. commented in Strength to Love
about the modern world scenario, "We have guided missiles and misguided
men."

An analysis of the various religious scriptures

reveals the following common essential principles:

1. There is only one God and He is the supreme

object of our love.

2. Obedience to God is the ultimate religious

principle.

3. Service to God is the nature of all living entities.

4. The Kingdom of God is the ultimate shelter for

everyone.

5. To approach God, sinful activities must be given

up.

6. Chanting the Holy Names of God is the easiest

way of reviving

God consciousness.

7. One should renounce flickering material pleasure

to experience Everlasting spiritual happiness.

8. One needs the guidance and the mercy of a

bona fide spiritual

Master (Pure Devotee) to achieve God.

Selfishness and Selflessness

What is it that makes us perceive the world in the way that we do? How is it that some devotees can be so
stalwart, faithful, enthusiastic and dedicated to Guru and Krishna and yet others struggle to find meaning
and relevance within the process?

My whole devotional life has been a struggle. Some would suggest that means it doesn't work and to just
give it up. Others would say it's just my karma. Some might say it's Guru and Krishna's mercy in that it's
purifying me and making me more surrendered.

I feel like most of my blog musings come back to this central theme of questioning what this process is
and why I'm doing it. One time my Guru Maharaja said to me, after I had asked him how I could become
more selfless, "Do you realize you keep asking the same question over and over? Maybe you should take a
look at that." I think his point was that he already gave me the answer, but I wasn't hearing it, I wasn't
accepting it, because I didn't WANT to accept it. The point being that I wasn't really sincere or honest in
my desire to become selfless.

Selflessness is the crux to all devotional advancement and realization. Without it the whole thing seems
quite impossible, difficult, unreal, irrelevant and unattainable. The fact is that selfishness and selflessness
cannot co-exist on the path of devotional service. As the old saying goes about wanting our cake and
eating it to, we can't do whatever selfish, self-centered sense gratification that we want and expect to
attain anything tangible within the process of bhakti-yoga, Krishna Consciousness.

We can't hold on to a selfish mentality and consciousness and be a genuine Vaishnava. It just doesn't
work. If we think it can work then we are completely delusional. It's like thinking you can start a fire by
simultaneously pouring water on it.

The fact is I don't WANT to be Krishna Conscious. I don't WANT to be selfless. I don't want to put Guru
and Krishna before my own wants and desires. That's a fact. And I have to be ready to accept the
consequences of my selfish desires and self-centered focus. One of those consequences happens to be a
loss of faith, interest and enthusiasm in hearing and chanting about Krishna.

Selfishness leads to misery. There is no doubt about this. It's not a devotee thing. It's just a fact of life. I
have seen it in others and I have experienced it myself first hand. Selfish people are miserable, angry and
depressed. It's just a natural result of a selfish mentality. Conversely, a selfless person is full of joy,
happiness and free from all anxiety.

Our whole problem of why we can't accept the simplicity of the path of devotional service, nor experience
those higher states of realization and consciousness, is because of selfishness. We waste so much time
focusing on our self: our problems, our wants, our sorrows, our desires, our comfort, our stress, our
anxiety, our this, our that. It's no wonder there's little room for anything else. We can barely take the time
to care about close loved ones, what to speak of Krishna (God).

This current life has been an ongoing struggle for me in terms of becoming selfless. My Guru Maharaja
wrote to me once, "Yours in the struggle for unconditional love". There's no doubt it's a struggle. Very rare
is the person who actually wants to be selfless and who actually experiences the joy from it. But how
amazing it is when one actually becomes selfless, because then ALL of one's problems instantly
disappear.

Those Vaishnavas that are very advanced and "fixed up" and enthusiastic and joyful on the path are those
that are selfless. Just take a close look at their qualities and examine their lives. And those devotees that
struggle and are miserable half the time and doubt everything are those that are completely selfish and
self-centered.
To become genuinely selfless is a gift. I humbly bow down to those who have attained such a lofty goal.
Like I said, most people you meet don't even want to be selfless (or they have a mix of selflessness and
selfishness; sometimes doing things for and caring about others, but mostly looking out for their own
happiness and pleasure), so it's quite amazing to actually meet someone who is not living for their own
self at every moment of their existence.

I'd like to end this post with a lecture by Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja. It's worth watching even if you
randomly skip to any part and listen for just 5-minutes:

I've experienced both sides of this coin. I've lived in the temple/ashram as a celibate monk, fully absorbed
in Krishna Conscious/devotional/spiritual activities and I've also moved out of the ashram and gone full
force back into the external, material energy and the world of sense gratification. Each world has its own
peculiar set of good and bad, happiness and struggles.

I was never truly happy when I moved out of the ashram. There was always a sense of discontent and of
wasting my time in activities that had no meaning or purpose. At the same time, living in the ashram was
becoming boring and mechanical. My Guru Maharaja once told me that I was something like a ghost,
caught inbetween two worlds, not fully committing to either side. This is my plight even up to the present
day.

Is this not the nature of human consciousness? Sometimes moving towards the non-material, spiritual
side of things and at other times gravitating towards sense gratification? The spiritualist is engaged in a
constant struggle against their lower nature and desires. Being absorbed in the material we cultivate a
material consciousness full of self-centered ideas and goals. Being absorbed in the spiritual we cultivate
selflessness, service and devotional ecstasy. The latter moves us closer to realizing our true, eternal
identity in relationship with the Divine Source of all existence.

If I step back from my existence and look at it from an objective view point I can see just how much time I
waste. The mind enjoys habit and being pleasure seeking we fall into patterns and routines that afford us
the most amount of "instant gratification". I find myself wandering on the internet, going on eBay or
Facebook or some comic book website and searching for some kind of enjoyment. But all of these things
are simply reinforcing my illusion that I am my body and that I'll be here forever. Why don't I instead use
my time to cultivate the internal, spiritual, eternal side of my existence?

I find no motivation, no enthusiasm to pursue that side of things. I know it's important, I know I'm going
to die and yet the urgency is lacking. I am completely covered by illusion, completely covered over by this
material energy.

That spiritual, internal, eternal side of existence will forever remain hidden from me if I continue on
identifying with the material and pursuing sense gratification. But the attachment and material
identification are so strong and difficult to break. There's no way we can do it alone or by our own power.
This is the wonder of the mercy of Sri Guru/Sri Nityananda Prabu. Through their causeless mercy we are
brought up into that higher quarter, even though we are so unqualified and contaminated.

I pray to Sri Nityananda Prabhu to never give up on me and to forcibly push me towards the internal
world. In Kali-yuga we have no other recourse and no other hope.