Jay Chavez #101756498

Professor Vincent Basso

ENGL 113-002
4/14/17
Memoir
I woke to the voice of my mother, urging me to get up and get ready for school. She was
in the kitchen, making some fresh flour tortillas for my fathers lunch, the smell, the sweet and
strong smell of my mothers tortillas made me get up, just so I could snatch one from my father
before he left to work. Meanwhile, he was telling me to get ready for school so I wouldnt be
late.
I brushed my teeth, I put my clothes on, got my backpack and put on a big smile on my face as
my mother had told me too, my father saying goodbye, Te veo mas tarde Hijo as he got up that
big, red Chevrolet he used to drive. My mother told me to get up that gigantic Ford Blazer my
father used to have, ready to take me to school so she could come back and do house work, even
though she was pregnant with my smaller brother.
School was the same as usual, all the kids screaming, running around, playing, and talking. I was
the shy one in class, I rarely talked to anyone there, but it was a part of me. Hours passed as if
they were months, but on time before my tantrum, the far eco and huge sound of the dismiss
bell was heard, meanwhile my mother already outside, incredibly still able to drive, but,
something was missing. That facial expression that would light up my whole day and could make
me happy also was gone, as if it was vanished from her soul, as if something troubled her, and
fore so be it what was waiting ahead would change my whole life, forever.
After picking me up from school we started driving back home, those 15 minutes it took us from
school to my house, were the longest of my whole life, And I couldnt help but wonder; what
could my mother be thinking about? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble? Did something
happen to my mother, my father, or my little brother!!?, these questions kept floating in my
mind, slowly I was starting to feel worried, you could feel the tension, and a soon as I was about
to ask what was wrong, we got home.
My mother seemed tired, as if she would have worked all day and had no rest, I had gotten of
that big Ford Blazer and headed to the doorway of my house, helping my mother as she was
tired. Once we were inside she took a big breath, smiled, and said everything is going to be ok,
at first I was confused as I didnt know at that moment what she had meant by ok, but of
course I was a child, I let it pass as if everything was ok and I was off the hook. As I headed to
my room on the far side of the small hallway my house, I felt very anxious, as if I knew since the
beginning something was going to happen.
Once my father came back from work, he looked very tired, but rarely ever showed it to me, he
was always happy he was home with his family, we were and still are his everything. My mother
and my father sat down at the kitchen table and proceeded to talk about change. And there it
was, those words that to this day, are still very present in my mind. We are going to move back
to Mexico mijo, I have to take care of some issues I have back where I lived and where your
mother lived, everything is going to be ok youll see, we must get you out of school in a couple
of weeks, we wont be leaving until your brother is born but we thought we would let you know
now.
It had struck me, the way lightning strikes the far ocean, with the same force and power. I had
felt miserable, all my memories, all my friends, all my life was here, why would you want to
leave? why would you want to let go everything you have worked for your entire life? but it was
obvious, my parents werent happy, living the undocumented life wasnt life itself, it was a
prison for them.
A couple of weeks later my little brother was born. The emotion my parents and I felt was
overwhelming, a small child came to this world to brighten up even more our family. Although I
had felt envious now that I wasnt going to be the only spoiled child in the house, I felt good,
now I had someone who I can play with when he gets older, and share great moments with. My
parents chose that I was the one to put my brothers name, Jason I immediately responded,
with great joy.
A week later some family of my mothers had come to visit us, it had seemed odd to me, they
just lived about a mile away in one of those luxury apartments and were doing nicely. But as
Geoffrey Chaucer once said and quote All good things must come to an end, and so came the
end of our house, my father had sold it, even before they had told me we were going to move
out. They were still letting us live there meanwhile we left, all crunched up in my small room.
After the birth of my only brother came the real moment, a moment I wish never came, but went
shaping the person I am today. My father at this point had sold most of the major objects and
things we had, except that red Chevrolet, where I had left my final tears as we left our beloved
home. Vamonos said my father to me and my uncle in a very deep and sorrow voice, he knew
it was difficult for all of us, but more difficult living with fear. Even to make things worse, my
mother had to stay alone with my newborn brother a couple of months more, so she had time
to fix all my newborn brothers paperwork.
Cuidate mucho mijo, I will be seeing you and your father very soon, God bless you my mother
had said, holding back those tears and emotions that she well knew, was going to break her heart
and mine at the same time. As we left the driveway of my house, I had waved back at my mother,
at my family, at my house, at a long-life friend I had next door, and to my past.
And there we were, on that eternal desert road going to Mexico, crossing land that I have never
seen before. In my mind, there was only one thing, what now? what is the next step?. Hours
had passed and we finally got to the border, my uncle, a short man as my father by the name of
Brigido, who at that moment was driving the Chevy, had said to my father, Listo para volver
a tu tierra? (ready to go back homeland?). My father, after a big, deep breath, replied to him in a
deep voice: Listo (Ready).
We got to the town after a couple of hours more on the road, and had drove into a parking space
for a little house that was my uncles house. My uncle was back in the U.S but had let us borrow
his home so we had a place to stay, for the next couple of years. I was almost in tears, wondering
what happened to my mother and my little brother back home in the U.S, but remained strong
and didnt let that interfere with what we had to do to get settled in to start living, my new
lifestyle.
Days had passed and I had found some strength to accept that this wasnt a vacation, nor a trip,
but a new place and a new life. It was all different, very strange, I never had been woken up in
the mornings by a rooster, who sang to the skies, as if it were the only reason he does it. I never
knew that the stores were so small, and that they were old fashion style made from adobe,
attended by seniors. I never have thought of how children play until long lost hours of the night,
with no worries, with no caution, free as the bird who soars through the sky, true freedom.
3 months had gone by, I was already accepted at my new school, me and my father had placed
everything around the house before my mother came, and everything was going well after all.
But then, the sound of a distant voice called me, in joy. My mother and my little brother were
home, and as I ran to her arms as soon as she came through that rusty metal door of my uncles
house, I had given her the biggest and most heartwarming hug I have given to a person in my
life. Ya estoy en casa mijo (Im back home son) said to me in the softest voice. I was complete
once again, and at that moment I had forgotten my past life and started again, from zero.
My life from that point changed and shaped, school was difficult, not school work nor learning
the material, I was already bilingual, but adapting. I was bullied if I can recall, maybe until 6th
grade, and it was a pain. I was different, nobody understood that, although I had made some
friends during those years, I still wasnt fully aware of how things were done in Mexico. Same
happened in middle school, I was still bullied, but it got to a point where I could actually do
something about it, it all changed, and overall it was going smooth from that point on.
That was school wise, outside of school was different, my brother was growing, my parents were
living the life they wanted and we were happy.
We lived first in my uncles small house, 3 years later we had to move out because he needed the
house back, he had gotten deported and needed his house back. Then moved more out of the
town, next to a big mountain that was right next to the house we had managed to get rented. 3
years we lived in that house, it was fairly big, two rooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen and a living
room; it was ok, except for all of the huge spiders and roaches everywhere.
Then we decided to build or own house, we the few money my father had left we bought a lot.
Slowly we started building, just me and my father. After about 2 years we had finished and
moved in, and as months had gone by, we styled it and even put a store right next to it. My
brother grew, I got older, my parents even more older, and life was perfect.
9 years, 9 years of my life I was in Mexico, I had experienced a new culture and adapted slowly
but by high school, I had already known how everything worked, how and what I had to do to be
good with myself and with everyone else, especially my parents. My life was awesome getting to
high school, I had a lot of friends, I had accomplished many acts during school, I was doing
great, had scholarships. It seemed as my life was getting together at last.
But once again, life slapped me in the face and showed me once again a harsh truth.
It was around my Junior year of high school in Mexico, it was as I said a normal life. My father
came to me at one point during our evening dinner when he said: Jay, me and your mother have
been talking for a while, and we have decided that you have to go back to the USA, so you can
finish your high school there, and eventually maybe go to a university, you are an American, you
got to have papers from the USA now for everything, it the best thing for you..
A punch from a person would have been less hurtful than what I had heard that evening, again
here we go, move back to the country you had come from after 9 years, and start all over. What
could I do? My father was right, I needed to have everything from the USA now, I was an
American, and as an American, I needed to come back to my birth country.
With all my shattered heart, I said once again goodbye, but not only to my friends, and family,
but to my parents and my brother.
I had moved first to Arizona, back to where I lived with some family members who were still in
the USA. I had tried to go to school there, but that was not going to happen. I had experienced at
first hand, what many of my fellow people suffer on the daily basis, Racism. I was rejected from
a small school close by and from others, just because of my ethnic background, I was an
American, with Mexican roots, but they only saw my skin color and judged.
After not being able to get into any school, I had to find another way. But all my efforts were
useless and I had to call my father to tell him what had happened. I stayed in Arizona for a
couple of days more, but then received a call from my father one morning saying: Mijo, we got
you a place in New Mexico, close to where you were working in the fields. Deming, New
Mexico, a small town in the middle of the desert. Guess I will never leave a desert in my life.
I moved in with my aunt, she was a small woman in her mid-40s, a proud Mexicana. She had
told my dad that I could move in with her and that she would take care of me while I went to
school.
The first day I got to Deming I felt lost, once again. I had come to the USA by myself, although
my aunt had said she was going to take care of me, she was just lending me a room to stay in. It
was very difficult for me, I had to adapt once again to all the American ways and rules.
Senior year in high school for many, is just a breeze, you are about to get out of school and start
adulthood, either by going to work, or going to college. But for me was a real hassle, I had to
take 15 classes to be able to graduate, and it felt as an eternity for me. I usually started my day at
8 in the morning, and ended at 10 at night. I never gave up, because if I gave up then, I wouldnt
be here today. My aunt never gave importance to what I did, she never asked how was my day,
she never cared if I was healthy and eating, she just cared about her novelas, although for the
first 4 months they treated me good, something changed in them.
My aunt had a son, my cousin, he never gave a damn about school, he never studied and never
searched for something better, they were jealous I was doing better than someone from their
family, and I feel that was a reason they changed completely with me.
Even though all the barriers in my life, I managed to finish high school on time to graduate, had
an awesome GPA, and was accepted at the University of New Mexico days before graduation. It
was difficult for me because of my family, they could be at the most important days in my life,
and they arent here to see me succeed now in college. But deep down I know, they are always
with me, in my heart and in my soul.
It has already been a year and I am currently about to finish my freshmen year in college, I am
pursuing a B. S in Dental Hygiene, I am following my dreams, with the help of many amazing
people. I struggled a lot through my life, and currently still am, but I will never let down.
I went from the USA to Mexico, and from Mexico to the USA. I have started from zero two
times, but this has shaped me and has made me a better person, stronger, I have gained more
wisdom. And if all of this never happened, maybe I wouldnt be here today.