Andie Foley

Dr. Schroeder
Nonfiction
12/6/16
Trigger Warning
The Car 7:47 AM.
The lackadaisical simmer of spring had finally succumbed to an aggressive, rolling boil

of a summer. Withered and brittle brown stems peppered all expanses of grass, choked by the

seasons unrelenting sun. The real horror, however, was by the roadside. At intervals

unpredictable, maimed animal carcasses were becoming one with the blistering concrete. Patient

Zero observed this for the fifth time during her morning commute and, for the fifth time, briefly

considered what her own corpse would go through after an hour or two under the same brutal

conditions.

The Temptation.
In the United States, clinical depression, or major depressive disorder, affects 6.7 percent

of the adult population in a given year. For these individuals, death is a temptation as

inescapable as air. Daily commutes become a parade of graveyards, funeral processions, and

devastation. Computer and television screens advertise the newly deceased with gruesome

detail. The macabre, it seems, is an omnipresent force beckoning to those susceptible at all

times, and from every place.

The Playground 1:15 PM.

Patient Zero, a dutiful yet melancholy employee of a local daycare center, had already

placed a toddler in a swing when the smell hit her. Sharp. Offensive. The sort of smell your

trashcan inevitably adopts after a few leaky bags are left inside to fester during the summer

months. Her wrinkled nose guided her eyes on their search for the source of the odor.
Her search was short, ending nearly directly beside the structure in which the child was

seated. Naked and bulbous, an unidentifiable hatchling lay motionless in the grass mere inches

from a toy stroller. Zero resisted the urge to study the purple and gray blob, its abdomen swollen
like a balloon from the merciless heat. She instead scooped up the youngster in her care, moving

quickly away before the toddler could note either the smell or the bird and proceed to ask

questions.
Tonight. She was going to do it tonight.

The Problem.
At the top right of an infographic found on the National Network of Depression Centers

website is a box titled The Economic Impact of Depression. Within this box, three statistics

are illustrated with cutesy, vector style graphics:

1. Depression is the leading cause of disability in the US among those 15 44.
2. $210.5 billion in earnings are lost each year due to serious mental illness.
3. Depression ranks among the top three workplace issues in the United States.
The Economic Impact of Depression holds the spot most natural for the eyes of

English-reading audience to fall. Beside this space, however (and with cuter graphics still), one

learns that many people living with mental illness are not receiving treatment. In fact, only 41%

of adult sufferers of mental health conditions in the US received treatment last year.

The House 8:02 PM.

Patient Zero sits up from where her head was resting on her husbands shoulder. His gaze

does not move from the TV as she shifts, nor as she wipes her slick palms across the top of her

thighs. On the screen, newscasters are proclaiming the death of Miss Cleo, the famed TV

psychic. Zero clears her throat.

Im going to run to the store to pick up a few things for the morning. Were low on

coffee creamer.
Her lie generates little if any response as she makes her exit.

The Stigma.
Of the annual $210.5 billion of lost income due to mental illness, 45% is attributed to

direct costs, 5% to suicide-related mortality costs, and 50% to indirect workplace costs such as

absenteeism or presenteeism reduced productivity of present employees. Author and

neurosurgeon Dr. Sanjay Gupta notes that depression often goes undiagnosed and untreated due
to sufferers refusing to address their discomfort, or those around them overlooking the signs. In

the workplace, reduced output and increased sick time are seldom tolerated, and employees

battling depression are more likely to be terminated than to have the underlying cause of their

poor performance investigated.

The stigma surrounding depression varies according to factors such as gender or age. For

men, cultural standards and ideals lead to feelings of shame surrounding depression. Many

attempt to tough it out or resort to substance abuse in an attempt to self-medicate. Conversely, in

the case of the elderly, many assume depression to be a normal part of aging and a natural

reaction to chronic illness, loss, and social transition. Factors such as these leave many

untreated.
The Car 8: 34 PM.
Zero has pressed a button to open the sunroof of her dated sedan. For a moment, she

listens to the sound of country crickets welcoming the darkness, and their chorus encourages her

adrenaline-fueled headspace. She imagines the sound the train will make upon impact: a

metallic popping noise that vibrates the core. She reclines her seat and contemplates the newly

opened windowbreathes in the thick summer air flooding her parked car.
Her heavy-lidded eyes are just starting to close when she hears it: the frantic chiming of

the crossing bell. Around her, two gate arms, striped red-and-white like candy canes, make their

groaning descent downward. Zero does not take note of this. Her tired eyes instead remained

transfixed on the graying purple sky, and her mind returns to the baby bird, perfectly still in the

trampled grass.
The engineer pulls desperately at the trains whistle. A warning. Her dry eyes close.
Contact.
Weightlessness.
Silence.