Best

friend: closest friend; someone who never gives up on you. Too often I find

myself taking advantage of how lucky I am to have someone that I call my best friend. Its rare

to experience platonic love for another individual. Having a best friend adds an entire new

dimension to the emotions of life. Theres an unsaid mutual contract within a best friend

relationship that ties their lives together. Her major life events are my major life events and vice

versa. At the loneliest times in our lives, we have always had each other. I am fortunate to call

Brittany Marie Vansteenburgh my forever friend.

Sixth grade began. I walked into my first English class. The first person I saw was an

elderly woman. She had the brightest red hair I had ever seen and a stern look on her face. I

was terrified because as every immature teenager believed, gingers dont have souls. This

fear was short-lived because Mrs. Harkawick was one of the most caring teachers I have had.

Everyone was given their assigned seats by alphabetical order. I was placed next to a complete

stranger with long blonde hair, eyes that resembled the ocean and a body that was developed

more than I could imagine mine resembling by eighth grade. I was in an awkward stage. Curly

short hair, glasses, and a body that made me feel like I was left behind in fourth grade. I hated

her. As the school year continued I started to give this stranger a chance. I couldnt hate

someone for their appearance. She introduced herself as Brittany, but as we became more

comfortable with each other her nickname became Britt. I began sharing my snacks with her Deleted: ,

during every class; especially Pop Tarts. We slowly started getting ourselves in trouble for Deleted: would

giggling during class and disrupting everyones education, but we didnt stop. Regardless of how

nice of a woman Mrs. Harkawick was, we were separated. Our Pop Tart snack breaks were put

on hold, but our friendship wasnt.

 I heard plastic begin to crinkle from across the room and I found my eyes focus on a

Strawberry Pop Tart making its way out of a wrapper. I looked up and to my surprise, Brittany Deleted: s

brought her own snack. Our tradition started. Every English class, we would both bring in our Deleted: began to eat her own Pop Tart

own Pop Tarts and give each other the look, from across the room, when it was time to eat

them together. Who wouldve thought that a Pop Tart could begin such a strong friendship Deleted: from across the room

between two girls.

As sixth grade continued, I noticed a change in Brittany. I would continue bringing my

Smores Pop Tarts, but her snacks changed. Her typical Strawberry Pop Tart changed to

strawberries. I assumed she just ran out of Pop Tarts, but then she ran out of strawberries too. I

ate my snack alone. She would tell me that she just wasnt hungry. I wasnt going to badger her,

but how can you believe someone when they cant look you in the eyes anymore? She would

watch me eat and every time I would pull out a Pop Tart, she would take out a piece of gum.

Four-hundred calories versus five calories. Our battle began.

Britt didnt confess her eating disorder to me until eighth grade, but she didnt need to. I

already had been fighting this battle with her for two years. I would watch, but remain silent. Deleted: ed

Theres a common belief that best friends are one soul separated into two bodies. Even though Deleted: that has been

our friendship had such depth, I was not physically in her mind or body. I couldnt fully

understand why the thought of consuming calories would make her panic. A full panic attack

would consist of a lot of tears and shaking, but during every one, I did what I knew how to do; I Deleted: a lot of
Deleted: and
held her. I held her until the tears would subside and her shaking returned to the average

tremble of an emaciated body. She was giving up on herself, but I made her a promise as her

best friend; I was never going to give up.

 An eating disorder consumes a person. Not eating isnt a choice; its a mental illness. Deleted: ,

Brittanys life became revolved around her body image. Her straight As became straight Ds,

but that was okay for her because her waist size dropped another inch. I would watch Britt look

in the mirror and while I saw skin and bones, she saw a completely different person. Her

beautiful smile was no longer existent, but instead was replaced with a look of exhaustion. The

girl with the long blonde hair, perfect curves and baby blue eyes now wanted to be in any other

body but her own. Five feet four inches weighing in at ninety pounds. Our battle continued.

Britt wasnt able to hide her eating disorder anymore. People began to notice as she

would drag her backpack through the hall because she was too weak to carry it on her back.

She was admitted to The Institute of Living. IOL is a program to help people with mental

illnesses. For me, IOL meant that I wouldnt see my best friend at school anymore because she

had to be home schooled. I was lonely, but not nearly as alone as Britt felt. She would tell me of

the workers that would force food down her throat, but wouldnt hold her when she began to

panic. For them, it was a job. For her, it was her life. She would return to her bed for comfort,

but as she closed her eyes she would have nightmares of food. She was being haunted by a

necessity of life. She told me that she just wanted to die. As her best friend, I couldnt let that

happen. If she died, a piece of me was going to die as well.

The Institute of Living decided that Brittany needed a different approach to beat her

eating disorder. Instead of just forcing food down Brittanys throat, the hospital used fitness as

an incentive. As she ate more, she was able to exercise more. The combination of eating

healthy and exercising saved Brittanys life. She began to believe in herself again. Her skin and

bones turned to muscle and her trembling body began to fill with strength. Although there was
progress, overcoming a mental illness does not happen overnight. Relapses are normal. Having

an eating disorder will be a lifelong battle for Brittany, but instead of spiraling downhill, shes

constantly pushing herself to overcome the uphill battle that she faces every day. When Britts

hill becomes too steep, Im here to push her a little harder. She realized she was worth more

than the definition of body image or an eating disorder.

Despite her internal conflict, Britt has still managed to accomplish her goals. She

currently attends Southern Connecticut State University with a full merit scholarship. Shes

been recognized on Deans List multiple times since attending college. She also works two jobs Deleted: l

and has been promoted to management. Although she has many material accomplishments, Deleted:

Britts biggest achievement yet is becoming happy with herself again.

Life is filled with countless battles. Brittany had to hit rock bottom in order to realize the

beauty of the world around her, as well as the beauty within. There is a common misconception

about mental illness. The general belief about eating disorders is that they are self-inflicted. I Deleted: eating disorders

can vouch on behalf of anyone thats suffered from a mental illness, the pain they experience

isnt voluntary. Britt has been able to take control of her life and no longer let societal norms

shape the way she views herself. Although it may have been difficult, she now realizes that life

is worth the battle.

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