Am I on the Right Track?

A Reflection Paper on a Book by M. K. Gandhi entitled:

The Law and The Lawyers,
By: Czarina Rose S. Gorospe

Basically, being a 3rd year law student, people would expect

that, more or less, you already have constructed a plan that would
guide you in the future. Having only one year and eight months
before eventually taking the Bar examinations, they say that you must
already be set with becoming a lawyer.

However, I say otherwise and I think my fellow juniors will

agree with me.

In reality, I am at a limbo right now. Everything that is

happening seem to be surreal. At one point, I was just a freshman
testing the waters and with just a wave of a hand, three years have
passed. Wow! Really, wow! I have really reached this stage. Yet, I
seem to be becoming more and more doubtful.

Do I really want to become a lawyer? Can I actually do it?

When I entered law school, I was just really looking for an

escape; an escape from my chosen career which I never got to, never
wanted actually, to practice. I entered classes in order to make the
most out of the money that my parents were paying the school. I read
cases just so I will be able to answer my professors questions during
recitations. During that time, it was more of a question as to whether
I really wanted to be in law school because, admittedly, I doubted if I
really did.

Time passed by and being in law school challenged me to the

point that it defined who I was; to the point that it became the center
of my life. That life seemed like it was about to end when a time came
when I almost stopped. At that point, I was sure that I will do

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anything in order to see the appellation Atty before my name. What
a wonderful sight, I thought.
I was sure. I was sure that I wanted to be that lawyer.
However, right now, I really do not know.

Actually, I do not think it is about whether I really want to

become a lawyer because I do. The problem lies with the doubt
echoing at the back of my head on whether or not I have what it takes
to be one. It is not anymore about wanting to become a lawyer, it is
already about whether you are capable to become one. Such self-
doubt leading to the question on whether I am on the right track.

Having reached the stage where I am now, considering my

circumstances, my head has become clouded with pressure. Pressure
to become good enough, to reach their standards, or to become better
than what they want you to become. But do I really need to do all
those? I do not really think so but I think I have to. At this stage,
things have become so challenging and complicated that, eventually,
you will really rethink about what you are doing.

Nevertheless, having read the summary on this book made me

realize that all these are necessary in order to mold me to the lawyer
that I would want to become. Like Gandhi, I will have to pass
through all these hardships in order to become better or even the
best. In fact, I was able to realize that, maybe, this is normal. It is just
a milestone that people aspiring to become lawyers go through.

This book written by Gandhi himself revolves around him

being a lawyer. At first, I never knew that he was actually a lawyer. I
only knew him to be the primary leader of Indias independence
movement. A man of spirituality and a belief that inspired the world.
And yet, after reading this book, he suddenly became the lawyer that
I would eventually want to become.

The book started out with how Gandhi eventually became a

lawyer. That at first, he was inclined towards the medical field.

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However, Mavji Dave, an oldfriend of their family, introduced to him
the possibility of getting into the legal profession.

At first, his family did not want him to do so. Specifically,

because his mother did not want to part with him. Furthermore,
according to his uncle, entering the legal profession would not be in
keeping with the family tradition. His uncle believed that barristers
know no scruples regarding food, cigars are never out of their
mouths, and they dress as shamelessly as Englishmen. They even
considered the same as an irreligious act.

Despite such, Gandhi was still able to enter the legal profession.
As expected, it was not an easy track to take. Though according to
him, the Bar examinations did not require much study, his hardships
came from other aspects. Among others, first, was as to his weakness
regarding the English language. Second, was the discrimination that
he experienced during his trips to other places to practice law. Third,
the high hopes that his family, specifically his brother, had built on
him. Lastly, the fact that, at first, he did not see himself qualified to
practice law.

For me, as a budding lawyer, I am mostly interested with the

initial stages of Gandhis journey to becoming a lawyer because, right
now, that is what I need the most; the experiences of other people
during those times so I can learn from the same and try to build on it.

What struck me the most was the part where Gandhi really
doubted his self. I quote:

But notwithstanding my study there was no end

to my helplessness and fear. I did not feel myself
qualified to practice the law.

Furthermore, there was even a time when he backed out from a

case due to his fear that he will not be able to handle it properly.
During that time when he was in court, he became so nervous that he

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was not able to think of any questions. From that time, he became
ashamed of himself and, thus, refused to take any more cases until he
gains the courage to conduct cases again.

Like how I am feeling now, I am amazed that even the great

Gandhi himself felt the same way; though we may not be similarly
situated because he was already a lawyer then and I am still a law
student. I guess even the best of the best experience that thing called
doubt.

Which reminds me,

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

This is a saying that has kept me sane for the past years. At first,
I did not really understand what it meant. However, being in law
school made me realize that it really is true, doubt kills more dreams
than failure ever will. Furthermore, I realized that if I let this doubt
take over, I will not go far. If I do, I will forever fear the future and I
will not be able to realize my dream.

Like Gandhi, I would really want to overcome this fear and be

free from it. Like him, I would want to use this as leverage in order to
become better, if not, the best. I would want to become a person who
is not only strong outside but also inside. But most of all, for the Bar
examinations, I would want to be physically, emotionally, and
mentally prepared. Lastly, not only for the Bar examinations but for
the life that awaits me after passing the same.

Moreover, reading the book made me admire him more. Not

only is he a famous icon for Indias independence but a man of virtue.
He has evolved from a doubtful and non-engaging man to a lawyer
whom people looked out for.

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 For me, he has become the epitome of the Code of Professional
Responsibility. He taught me that despite the dilution of the integrity
and independence of the legal profession, it still pays to be virtuous.
As they say, there is nothing better as an advertisement of your legal
services than your competence and well-established integrity.

The following are only a few of the things that Gandhi did that
showed his integrity and independence.

First, there was this case in Pretoria which involved debit and
credit about account books. Here, he never concealed his ignorance
about the same. He admitted that he had no idea about that thing
and that he did not even know what a promissory note was. What
was more surprising was, being so grounded, he bought a book and
studied it.

Second, even being a new lawyer, he was never ashamed to

suggest a possible settlement.

Third was the contempt case wherein he was involved. Here,

Gandhi exhibited that lawyers must show good faith in their day-to-
day dealings. In this case, Gandhi did not stand his ground due to
arrogance but due to the fact that he was in good faith. Other than
this, Gandhi was openly saying that he will accept any punishment as
determined by the Court if he really was wrong.

Fourth, that Gandhi never resorted to untruth in the profession.

It was stated in the book that when he was still a student, he had
heard that the lawyers profession was a liars profession. But such
did not influence him for he never intended position nor money.

Last but definitely not the least, when he said that the very
nature of his job as a member of the bar is that of public work and
that there is no need for any fees to be paid thereof in order for him to
properly perform his designated duties. I quote:

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 But the fact is that I must not accept any salary
for public work. It is enough for me that you should all
agree to entrust me with your legal work.

In my point of view, Gandhi showed us what lawyering is all

about. Yes, it is a known fact for us law students that the primordial
duty of a lawyer is the administration of justice but Gandhi showed
me that such purpose is easily achieved and can actually be achieved.

If during Gandhis time, people already saw the legal

profession negatively, as above shown by what his uncle said about
Barristers, what more for todays era when it has become normal for
people to think and see lawyers as liars and hungry for money and
power. My point is, the legal profession has already evolved to such a
state that it has become difficult to stay virtuous. However, with that
said, the more that it is needed for lawyers and future lawyers to be
like Gandhi.

Knowing how Gandhi was, as a lawyer, inspires me so much to

be like him. And with that, somehow, the cloud inside my head is
starting to clear. Now, I am slowly learning that in order for me to
become capable and able to become a good lawyer, I must, like
Gandhi, always remember my purpose as a lawyer. I shall always stay
grounded and humble. Not a person who will only see peso signs
when a client arrives but, instead, a person who sees a happy and
victorious client at the end.

Through Gandhis story, I somehow realized that I would want

to become that person who, after passing the Bar, will do anything to
achieve my purpose to help in the administration of justice; a
virtuous person, like Gandhi.

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