TOTALLY WIRED

Abena Darko

Nice cover page

Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 19:56
Formatted: Font:12 pt
Introduction
As technology continues to progress we find ourselves more connected, and pressured to
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 19:57
be engaged. We are so concerned with the advancement of technology and what it has to
Deleted: being
offerthat? (You have set up this sentence (by using so) to suggest there is more to come). Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 19:58
Our daily routines consist of being connected and consumed in what digital media can do for us. Deleted: more
But so often we lose sight of how much time we regularly spend with media and our gadgets. As Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 19:58
consumers our constant involvement in media is not as obvious to us as it perhaps should be (I Formatted: Highlight

have added perhaps as a modifier here because you dont want to imply that all digital
technology is bad).
Create a transition into a sentence that briefly explains this assignmentthen what
follows will make sense.
The objective of this assignment is not to scare us about how much we use technology,
but instead make us aware of our own digital behaviors and how it effects us--good. By not being
aware of our personal media habits we are not able to fully understand why we use digital media
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:03
technology and what our expectations of that technology are in the future. Some saylike who?
Deleted: it
You could introduce some of your scholars here, creating a link with the conclusion that by Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:03
using media it makes our daily lives easier, but do we use it in order to keep us occupied and Formatted: Highlight
distance ourselves from certain things instead? It is almost as if technology has become a
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:04
scapegoat. We use it in order to feel like we have more self-control of our lives and try to
Deleted: .
understand our world bettergood point. Scholarslike? have also made the argument that Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:05
their is no real substance to our engagement in media and being connected negatively affects our Deleted:
relationships. We take for granted our relationship with technology and doing this experiment Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:05
allows us to critically analyze our involvement in greater depth. This is a good introduction Formatted: Highlight

make these revisions and it will transform to an excellent introduction. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:05
Deleted: a
Methodology
I originally planned to collect my data on a Monday. It was the most productive day out
of the week for me, with three classes and a five-hour gap in between two of those classes.
Mondays are also usually known to be one of the most longest and painful days of the week. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:07
But, I ended up conducting my study on Sunday, 5 February 2017 instead. Sunday is the lazy Deleted:

stay-in day for me, so I expected my technology use to be overwhelmingly drastic. However, it Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:07
turned out that on that day I was in Albany visiting a friend for the weekend. Not being where I Deleted: 5th
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:07
had planned to be, in my dorm all day definitely switched things up. Good contextual
Deleted:
information
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:07
The idea of keeping track of whenever I was in contact with technology was definitely
Deleted: use of
exciting for me. Although I was afraid of actually being exposed to the amount of time I spent on
all of these digital devices, the awareness was very intriguing. We often are so connected to our
devices that we do not really look into how much time we spend on them. We sometimes do not
even realize when we are using them. At first I did not know how I was going to go about this
task, whether it would be effective to record the data on a notebook or a app tracker. I then
realized that the best way to go about it was to use an app on my phone. This app was called Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:08
Notes and is usually found on the iphone. Being already aware of my regular usage on my phone, Deleted:

I decided using this app would be the best way for me to keep track of everything and not forget Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:09
Formatted: Font:Italic
to collect every piece of data. Good
Figuring out what specifically to concentrate on while recording the data was also Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:08
Deleted: n
important. The most effective way for me to go about it was to analyze the specific types of
technology I was using, and also what I spent most of my time doing with any of those devices. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:09
Deleted: what
Whether it was texting, social media sites or even watching T.V., it was important for me to
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:10
study these digital engagements in order to get an accurate observation of my habits. Knowing
Deleted: .
what I spent the most time on would allow me to really understand my connection with media
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:10
and pick up on any differences in my behavior throughout the day. Excellent
Deleted: A
At one point I became frustrated in my data collection because tracking down my usage
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:10
was not something I was used to doing. I realized that I was comfortable with not being aware of
Deleted: t.v
when I used technologygood point. Being so annoyed from it forced me to take naps so that I
could avoid having to note everything downinteresting! These are excellent disclosures. But,
then I realized not even naps could stop my interaction with technology. I would still be tempted
to wake up from my naps to check my texts and scroll through social media sites. This probably
says a lot about me as a digital native. Having to do this study showed me how often I really
engage with media. This is a good transition to the next section
Excellent methodology sectionyour contextual information, attention to detail and honest
disclosures persuade me that your research was carried out with integrity and therefore your data
is reliable.
Results
As a kid growing up I was not exposed to technology as much as I am now. I did not
receive my first phone until I was a freshman in high school. But, even then I made use of what I
had. During middle school I would spend most of my time on facebook or myspace because that
was what most kids used. Texting was not something that was really popular, I was used to
communicating with my friends through Facebook inbox. But, through this case study I noticed
very drastic changes in my media usage as more apps began to progress. I calculated that on Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:14
Deleted: f
average I am awake 15 hours everyday which is 900 minutes. During those 900 minutes I spent
490 minutes using technology. Good overview of results Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:15
Deleted: was
From those 490 minutes I used technology I found out that I was mostly using my phone.
Dont guesstimateuse your data and be specific here.That was something that did not surprise Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:16
Formatted: Highlight
me because I was aware that I regularly checked my phone. But, I was surprised that during that
day I spent 280 minutes using my phone, and majority of the time it was never for really
anything productivework out 280 minutes as a percentage of 480to give you the exact Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:21
percentage of tech use dedicated to your phone. I spent 216 minutes texting, meaning that texting Deleted: .
was something I did very often. As you can see in figure 1, my phone usage was primarily spent Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:21
on texting with a high percentage of 46%. How did you work out this figure? If you spent 280 Formatted: Highlight
minutes on your phone, and 216 of those minutes texting, then the formula to work out the Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:25
percentage is: Deleted: s
216 280 x 100 = 77% Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:25
Deleted: i
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:26
Deleted: left
I found myself sending more texts then I would actually receive, and I was texting multiple Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
people at the same time but I would do it in order of who I felt was most important--interesting. I Deleted: technology
spent the rest of the time on Snap, just watching snaps of people I thought would post something Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
Deleted: tv
interesting. I also found myself doing the same thing on Instagram, watching funny videos and
just liking pictures. I spent the least amount of time speaking on the phone which was not Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
Deleted: tv
intriguing to me at all because talking on the phone has always been something I do not do on
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
the regular. Excellent rich descriptions of your digital habits
Formatted: Font:Italic
With the remaining 210 minutes of my time spent on technology I was using other sorts
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
of devices. I spent 98 minutes watching T.V. I watchedT.V. shows like Spongebob in the
Deleted: s
morning but only for 8 minutes because I was distracted by my phone. Then I watched one
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
movie during the day called Passengers for 90 minutes (Make sure you capitalize films and
Formatted: Font:Italic
shows and write them in italics to comply with MLA style). The only time I spent using a
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:27
computer was when I was doing homework and that was for 70 minutes. My limited interaction
Deleted: p
with a larger device had to do with the fact that my laptop was not around at that time. It was
getting fixed, but if it was accessible to me I definitely feel like I would have been actively using
it for either netflix or to do my homework. Good descriptionhowever, for revision you should Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:29
try compiling this data into a simple pie chart so the reader get an instant visual of your digital Deleted: of

engagements. I can show you how to create one. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:30
Formatted: Highlight

During the rest of the day with the time that was left over, was when I was not engaged
in any media behavior. I was either getting food, showering or doing work that did not involve Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:30
Deleted: the
using technologylink these two sentences together. The first half of the sentence is a little
awkwardsee if you can smooth it out.. I took a 42 minute nap which was when I had become Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:30
Formatted: Highlight
frustrated with the data collectionthis sentence needs grounding in more context.
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:30
Formatted: Highlight

Give this data visual a titleset some parameters (these figures are % of your time spent on the
phone which was 280 minutes, correct?once you do give this a title and set those parameters Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:32
Formatted: Indent: First line: 0"
this visualization will function very effectively)

Messages
46% Instagram Snapchat Calls 5%
19% Music 8%
15%

Figure 1

This is a very good results sectionI especially appreciate your rich and detailed observations of
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:38
your digital habits Formatted: Font:12 pt
Conclusion Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:38
Before I did this study I did not know what to expect. I knew that the results would be a bit Formatted: Font:12 pt
surprising because I have never been fully aware of my data usage. However, the only thing I did Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:32
expect was that the time spent using my phone would be higher than all the other technology I Deleted:
used--good. My phone is something that I check on a regular basis, whether it is for my Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:39
messages, social media or emails. My interactions with social media are not as aware to me Deleted: my
word choices? as they should be because they have become a daily routine. Waking up and Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:40
instantly checking my phone and watching netflix when I am bored is something I find normal. It Deleted: ing
is a part of my everyday routine and without it I feel as if my day is not going the way that it Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:40
should be. Excellent Formatted: Highlight
Now you need a transition into the scholarship. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 20:41
Introduce Sherry Turkle in a bit more depthIn Sherry Turkles TEDtalk Connected Formatted: Highlight
but Alone, she makes an argument about the disadvantages of being connected. She says the Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:46
moment we feel alone we grab our phones (10:13-10:15)--good. As humans we are afraid of Deleted: it
being alone so in order to get rid of that loneliness we turn to technology instead of our peers. I Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:46
am guilty of this and this was revealed while I was recording my data--good. Even when I was Deleted: shown
with my friends I still felt disconnected from the world, if I was not on my phone either texting Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:47
Formatted: Highlight
or scrolling through social media.check the logic of this sentence. Being connected reassures
me that I am informed about what everyone else is doing with their timeand why do you need
to know this?.
Sherry Turkle also makes the argument that we expect more from technology and less
from each other (8:45-8:53). When our devices are not accessible to us we feel as though their
is no one else to turn to. When I realized that I did not have my laptop to watch netflix, I Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:47
Formatted: Highlight
downloaded the netflix app on my phone instead. Introduce the concept of Likes before you use
these quotesthis transition is important otherwise your conclusion is in danger of sounding like Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
Deleted: on
a list of ideas . I found it interesting that in the PBS documentary Generation Like, (introduce
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
the section under discussion with a little more context) one of the teens brought up a point that
Formatted: Highlight
the more likes you have the better you feel (34:25-40:01). I sometimes find myself guilty of
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
this. When I notice that I have a large amount of likes on my photos, my self-esteem
Formatted: Highlight
automatically becomes higher whereas if there are not a lot of likes I feel unwantedbring these
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
observations to a more concrete conclusion. All of these different videos help me to understand
Deleted:
my connection with technology. Refer to the scholars, not the videos
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
You have done a nice job incorporating the quotes into your conclusionyou need to
Formatted: Font:Italic
provide a little more context for the section of the talk/film you are dealing with for each quote,
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
and find transitions and links to join the ideas togetherotherwise you are in danger of looking
Deleted:
like you are fulfilling the scholarship requirement rather than working out a line of inquiry.
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:48
My technology usage has evolved over time with the increase in advancementawkward
Deleted: bring
structure. As the world continues to make improvements and find new ways of staying
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:51
connected, I find myself using technology even more. I do not know if it is safe enough to say Deleted: it
that I am addicted, but I am definitely attached. However, I am aware of the limitations that Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:51
technology can cause and hopefully I can resist it in the future (are these the right word choices Deleted: is
do you think?). I hope to create a family who is connected, but not just to technology but also Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:52
with one another. This assignment allowed me to better understand that using technology is not Formatted: Highlight
uncontrollable, it is up to you as a person to decide whether to control your usage or not. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:55
Formatted: Highlight
Abena, Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:56
This is a very good case study. Formatted: Highlight
You have developed an excellent methodology, which sets the reader up with an honest account of the Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:56
context of the study and how the data was collected--I am convinced of your authenticity as a Formatted: Highlight
researcher here. You have collected some excellent qualitative and quantitative data, giving us a Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:57
fascinating glimpse of your digital self. Your narrative style is astute and objective, and combined with Deleted: the
your excellent organizational skills and sharp attention to detail you do an excellent job unfolding your
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:57
data keeping your reader on track and engaged. The chart you have produced is very goodit needs a
Formatted: Font:12 pt
comprehensive title, however, it paints a clear picture of your phone usefor revision I would like to see
you try to visualize more of your datayou have collected thorough statistics, so you should make them
work for you. In your conclusion, for the most part, you do a good job making connections from your
personal observations to the broader scholarship on the subject. Your citations skills and your style of
joining this academic conversation is off to an excellent start. You just need to provide a little more
context for the scholarship under discussion. On a technical level your paper is well written with a high
degree of accuracythere are just a few awkward sentence structures to work out, a few issues with
logic to remedy, and issues with capitalization.
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 22:01
I have added a lot of suggestions throughout your paper which I hope you will study because after Formatted: Font:Helvetica Neue, Font
revision this will be an excellent piece for your eFolio. color: Custom Color(RGB(56,61,72)),
I enjoyed reading your case study. Pattern: Clear (Custom
Grade: B+ Color(RGB(243,245,247)))
 Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:57
Formatted: Font:12 pt

Works Cited
Koughan Frank, and Douglas Rushkoff Generation Like. PBS, Public Broadcasting Service,
Feb. 2014, Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:58
Deleted: .

www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/film/generation-like/. Accessed 26 Feb. 2017. Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:57

Deleted:
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:58
Formatted: Font:Italic
Turkle, Sherry. Connected, but alone? Sherry Turkle: Connected, but Alone? | TED
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:58
Deleted:
Talk | TED.Com, Feb. 2012, www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.
Nikki Clasby 20/3/2017 21:57
Deleted: a
Accessed 26 Feb. 2017.