Amber Strawder

Angeles Laguna
Elaine Wu
Lance Lee

Script

Lance(female): Good Morning Florin Idris Elba title sequence

*Mariachi Music
High and welcome to todays
Chocolate Vision bringing you the
latest for Wednesday, 23 May 17. News Set throughout skit
Coming up on todays show..
(pedophilia cases in the egusd and
donald trumps tax returns)
We begin today with an issue so near Picture of a school
and dear to our hearts and our
children. Pedophelia cases in Schools,
specifically with young girls and
adult male teachers And to give us
some personal insight on the issue,
we bring in special guest star
Rudolph Buehler.

(***Amber***)
Hey hey glad to be here everyone, Mr Buehler OJ Simpson American
and what a fine young host Ive got Crime Story Photo
here. Mmhh looking like a snack.
(***Lance***)
Well um hello, and thanks for coming
on the show, today were going to
discuss the recent charges filed
against you, and what we intend to do
to end not only these crimes from Photo of Buehler
being committed, but also from Photo of a Lemur
people like you from being accused
of them. To start, how do you feel Cut back to Buehler photo

about the charges filed against you? Cut back to lemur

Cut back to buehler

(***Amber***)
Well, if Im being honest with you. Cut back to lemur

My wife wasnt giving me any

attention, and I felt like it was my
moral responsibility to allow my
student every chance possible to get a
good grade in my class. Plus the
school board was just jealous they
never got a Rudy Award. So, since
you wanna get the inside scoop,
wanna swing by my place later? Ive
got some nice geography books we
can read.

(***Lance***)
No thanks, now moving past
Buehler...

[Buehler interrupts, smacks Lances Weather forecast picture with the

pedos?
butt]

(***Amber***) You can go past me

anytime B.

(***Elaine***)(Looks at Lance) Get

this. Mr.Buehler is just the tip of the
iceberg. There has been 6 other
reported incidents within the Elk
grove Unified School District.
Two from Sheldon High, Two from
Prairie Elementary, One from
Cosumnes Oaks High, and One from
Marion Mix Elementary.

(***Amber***)
Guardians of the Galaxy but with
Damn, I need to meet up with them the arrested teacher faces/maybe
sometime, those is my brothas from
another motha

Prairie elementary
(***Angeles***) The worst of these
cases come from Prairie Elementary.
In September 2016, Eric Ernest
Echols, well call him Triple E, was
investigated for suspicion of having
molested 7 to 8 kids. I dont know
about you but thats a lot of kids. And
the other incident at Prairie was that a
man named Christopher C Kinney
was arrested on suspicion to produce
child pornography.
Beep
(***Elaine***) THIS IS F#%&!N
CRAZY! LEAVE THESE KIDS
ALONE!

(***Lance***) Why are there so

many grown men being attracted to
our students?

Question Marks
(***Angeles***) Theres this theory
that grown men, as they get more
growner

(***Elaine***) Grown What?

(***Angeles***) Growner
(Awkward pause) As they get
growner they start to miss the feeling
of being young. So they prey upon
the youth as they feel that sexual
contact will revitalize them and make
them feel younger.
(***Elaine***) That sounds stupid.
Whats this theory called.

(***Angeles***) Buehlers
Innocence of Pedophilia.

(***Amber***) Yes.

(***Lance***) You sound dumb.

[(***Amber***) Lets be realistic,

age is just a number. And making a
big deal out of 2 peoples personal
relationship is a waste of time and
energy. I mean if a 70 year old can Age is just a number meme

date a 50 year old, then why cant a

35 year old date a 15 year old? Its
just 20 years either way. I mean if
they can do it in India, why cant I do
it? Same planet. Age is just a number.

(***Everyone nods in an unusual

agreement***)
(***Elaine***) OH I GET IT. In our
society, we view romantic Lightbulb

relationships between adults and

children as horrible. However, if we
simply put aside those views. Then
everything will be okay! I mean if
humans did it in the past. What makes
it any different from now?

(***Angeles***) Yeah yeah, and if

romantic relationships between adults
and children are accepted. There will
no longer be pedophiles. Meaning
less people in prisons. Meaning less
tax money wasted on criminals. And
everyone becomes a bit more happier!

(***Lance***) Wow, as disgusting as

you are Buehler. I think you have a
point. Do you guys agree?(Looks at Age is just a number memes

Angeles and Elaine)

(Angeles and Elaine) Yeah.

(Everyone turns to camera) AGE IS

JUST A NUMBER!
(***Elaine***) You heard it here
Age is just a number!
folks, weve solved the equation that
is pedophilia, by not calling it
anything at all. It would definitely
make it easier for the Elk Grove
Unified School District.

(***Angeles***) Next on Chocolate

Vision. A real mermaid caught on
camera? Well see. After these
commercials. Man with VR headset.

Idris Elba Title Sequence

*Some Rap music

Weird Japanese Commercial.