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Eng 28 Narrativeparagraph
Eng 28 Narrativeparagraph
Professor Batty
English 28
1 June 2017
In the original draft that I turned in on March 15,2017, my biggest problem was the
structuring of the essay,not to say that everything else was perfect but it was obvious that I
didnt outline my ideas beforehand. When you read my first draft it seemed like a free for all
when you received major ideas or points. In the original draft, I had an introduction that was a
page and a half with unnecessary details to the integral point. Whats even worst is that I really
This was by far the hardest essay to revise, due to the poor structuring of the paper and
poorly structured thesis. I spent more time on this paper then any other papers Ive done in this
class. Which is fitting since this was my first essay in this class. Needless to say, this paper is
probably the one I am the least proud of. Although the supporting details were interesting, the
complete lack of a strong thesis coupled with the lack of structure made this a sub par essay.
If I could change anything about the finished product, it would be to rewrite the entire
paper with an entirely different thesis, but sharing the same details. I would probably have the
the mistakes of their youth, rather than winning over a coworker to keep a job.