EDUC4748

Assessment 1- Julia Mulligan

Criteria E D C B A

Punctuation Little to no Some punctuation has Punctuation has been Punctuation has been Punctuation has been
EN2-9B punctuation has been been used in the text used almost correctly used correctly in most used correctly
used within the text. with more than 2 throughout some of of the text showing throughout entire text
errors made the text with no more thorough knowledge with no mistakes,
Adam than 2 errors. of its use. showing an extensive
Sia, Matt knowledge of its use.
Spelling A large number of A small number or Most words are spelt Most words are spelt All words in text are
EN2-5A spelling errors (5 or spelling errors (3-5) correctly throughout correctly throughout spelt correctly with
more) are made are made throughout the text, with no self the text, with self no mistakes.
throughout the text the text with no self corrections to errors. corrections to errors.
with no self correction. Sia
correction. Adam Matt

Characters/Setting The text lacks any The text has a poor The text follows Entire text is Entire text is
EN2-10C logical sequence and logical sequence logical sequence structured with a structured correctly
shows no indication showing only a vague (including adequate good logical sequence with explicitly stated
of characters, plot and indication of indication of and includes characters, plot and
setting. characters, plot and characters, plot and characters, plot and setting creating a
setting. setting) creating a setting creating a smooth flowing story.
Sia well flowing story. smooth flowing story.
Adam Matt,
Language Features Little to no language Limited use of Language features Language features Language features
EN2-7B features (slang, language features (slang, similes, (slang, similes, (slang, similes,
similes, metaphors (slang, similes, metaphors and metaphors and metaphors and
and onomatopoeia) metaphors and onomatopoeia) are onomatopoeia) are onomatopoeia) are
are used within the onomatopoeia) is used at least twice used multiple times used skilfully
 text. displayed through the throughout the text. throughout the text multiple times
text. Matt showing thorough throughout the text
Sia Adam knowledge. showing extensive
knowledge.
Handwriting Handwriting is very Handwriting is partly Handwriting can be Handwriting can be Handwriting can be
EN2-3A difficult to read with difficult to read with read with only little read fluently with read fluently with
inconsistencies in some inconsistencies difficulty. Only a few very few consistent with size,
size, formation in in size, formation and inconsistencies in inconsistencies in formation and slope
slope. slope. size, formation and size, formation and throughout whole text
Adam slope. slope.
Matt
Sia
Grammar No use of Limited use of No more than 3 Only 1 or 2 No grammatical
EN2-9B grammatical grammar within the grammatical mistakes grammatical errors errors have been
awareness. text have been made in have been made in made in the text.
Sia the text Adam the text.
Matt
Vocabulary A small range of A small range of Some vocabulary The text includes a Text uses an
EN2-9B vocabulary is used, vocabulary is used, used in the text is variety of topic extensive range of
with no topic specific with limited topic specific to the story specific vocabulary complex, topic
vocabulary. specific vocabulary. and genre. which makes the text specific vocabulary
Sia interesting. (including verbs,
Matt Adam nouns & modifiers) to
make the text
interesting.
Ideas The text shows no The text shows little Some creativity and A good input of A deep level of
EN2-10C imagination or imagination and imagination is used to creativity and creativity and
creativity used. creativity used. create an engaging imagination is used to imagination has been
Sia text. create and engaging used throughout to
text. create an engaging
Matt Adam text.
Does the whole text The whole text is Parts of the text are Most of the text is The text is written The text can be read
make sense? difficult to read, lacks difficult to read, lack written clearly with clearly with fluently as detailed
EN2-9B explanations for explanations and do some explanations explanations given explanations are
events and does not not make sense. and makes sense. for choices (eg: I provided for choices
make sense. Sia Adam went to the park- made in the story.
because I wanted to
play on the swings)
Matt
Detail Little to no details are Basic details are Details are included The text includes well The text includes
EN2-9B included in the text, included in parts of in most of the text to explained details all extensive detail
preventing the reader the text to give more give the reader a throughout to help the throughout to allow
from visualizing the of a visual greater picture of reader visualise the the reader to visualise
story in their mind. understanding of the whats happening story. the people and events
story. Adam within the story. Matt
Sia

Feedback (student feedback will be given verbally)

Matt Overall B
Matt, youve shown that you have very good understanding of how to write an imaginative text and this is quite a strength of yours. The way you
used adjectives throughout your whole text gave more detail and allowed me to imagine your story playing in my mind, well done. Your
punctuation throughout the story was used correctly which made your work very easy to read, I was especially impressed with the way you used
speech marks when the characters were speaking directly. One of the things I noticed in your text was that you started quite a few sentences with
I. Next time you create a text where you are writing in first person, try to start each new sentence a different way, for example, instead of
saying I ran outside to take a deep breath you could start the sentence with Worried and scared, I ran outside to take a deep breath. This will
make your story sound less repetitive and more interesting to the reader. We will practice using different sentence starters in class to help you
improve on this next time. Another area that you appeared to struggle with was keeping your story all in past tense, you went from using past
tense I ran to using present tense asked a man where I am. When you are writing a text you need to be careful not to swap back and forth
between tenses and stick to either past, present or future otherwise the text wont make sense. To make sure you remember this for next time we
will construct a past, present and future words table to put up in the classroom so you can use it every time you write an imaginative text in the
future. Matt, you have done a great job writing this story, the creativity and imagination put into it is great and youve shown you are a very good
writer. Your punctuation was very impressive; especially the way you used commas to list a number of items in the story. Matt, your overall
mark for this imaginative text is a B. Great job!!
Adam- Overall C
Adam, this task has shown that you have a great ability to use your imagination to create an interesting, detailed, imaginative text. The story you
wrote gives great detail of the characters, settings and events happening to help the reader picture the story in their mind as they read the words.
You used a number of strong words in your story such as powerful, intense and thump which helped to give the story more meaning. Parts of
your writing show that you have trouble understanding how to use punctuation including; full stops, commas and capital letters. Dont forget you
need to start every new sentence with a capital letter and end each sentence with a full stop as well as using commas when you are listing things.
Looking at the punctuation mark posters in the classroom and practicing to edit texts by adding punctuation will help you to improve your results
when you do any writing tasks. Another area I noticed we could both work on together is your spelling, your imaginative writing piece shows a
few spelling mistakes which you havent corrected. A weekly spelling list and some one on one practice with your spelling strategies will prevent
you from making a lot of spelling mistakes when you write in the future. You have also used some great vocabulary in your story, such as
mythical, defeated, forest and village, so to get even more marks for this in the next writing task, I would like you to try to add more new
words by using the dictionary or google to discover words that relate strongly to the topic you want to write about. While your writing was very
detailed, you can add even more detail by including more adverbs (describing words for verbs) and adjectives (describing words for nouns) to
make the story more descriptive. You could do this by creating a list of adverbs and adjectives and having it in front of you whenever you write a
new text. Before you finish your text next time, just make sure you re-read it to make sure you havent missed any words and that it makes sense.
Adam, your overall mark for this imaginative text is a C. This text has shown me that you can be very creative and imaginative in your writing
and you know how to make a story interesting to read, great work!

Sia- Overall D
Sia, in this text you have shown a good spelling ability, you spelt almost all of the words in your story correctly showing me that you have been
working on your spelling strategies which we learnt in class. You also showed a good ability in using punctuation through most of the text, you
remembered to use capital letters and full stops at the end of sentences however, you can improve your mark next time by remembering to use
commas when you list objects in your story. This could have been done in the sentence where you listed dresses, masks, everything ancient. To
improve your marks on your next imaginative text you should think about adding more detail to your story, this could be as simple as adding
extra information about people and places (e.g. Instead of there was a person waiting for me write there was a young girl about my age with
dark hair and dressed brown robes waiting for me). You could also add more detail by explaining events in the story such as how you got home
or if you were welcomed by the girls family when you arrived at her house, this will help to make the text more interesting to the reader and
allow the reader to imagine they are a part of the story. Adding more detail and explanations to your story will help the reader to understand the
story better. One last thing I would also like you to work on for next time is to read your story before handing it in, this way you can read it to
yourself and you might pick up on some mistakes that you might not have noticed earlier for example, commas missed or opportunities where
you should have started a new paragraph. Good effort with the activity, I can see you have used your imagination and your handwriting was very
neat and well spaced between words. Your overall mark for this imaginative writing task is a D. Well done Sia!

Adams Parents/Guardians
Dear Mr and Mrs Ruddick,
In this lesson Adam was asked to complete or extend on a piece of imaginative writing provided to him. Adam was given a C for this task which
means he showed an adequate ability to achieve the outcomes desired for this task. When reading Adams imaginative text it can be seen that he
has a great ability to create an engaging imaginative text which communicates his ideas and thoughts to the reader. Adam wrote a descriptive
story by using his knowledge of adjectives, adverbs and verbs which helped him succeed in making his text engaging to the reader. This
demonstrated that Adam is very capable of using appropriate and interesting vocabulary to draw an audience in to his writing. While his
creativity and word choice was very impressive, Adams text illustrates his lack of understanding regarding correct punctuation. Adam did not
use capital letters, full stops or commas in his writing which stresses the need for the implementation of focused punctuation learning in the
classroom and at home. I believe it would beneficial for Adam to practice editing texts which lack punctuation by inserting punctuation where
needed using a punctuation information table. This strategy will help him to develop his understanding and ability to use punctuation in texts.
Another weakness Adam showed in this imaginative text was his spelling ability; he spelt a number of words incorrectly and did not try to
correct them. In order to improve his spelling and receive better marks on the next writing task, Adam should be practicing his spelling strategies
at home and school each day. The last area for possible improvement in Adams task was his handwriting ability, his handwriting was
inconsistent in size, slope and formation which means more practice is needed in this area. Weekly handwriting tasks given in class throughout
the week should be revised at home with a parent or caregiver to ensure Adams writing improves. Overall Adam did well with this task and
demonstrated his ability to use his creativity and imagination to write an exciting text.

Sias Teacher
In this imaginative text writing activity Sia received a mark of D as she struggled to show competence in some areas of the writing process. Sia
showed strength with basic punctuation (capitals and full stops) but failed to go beyond this and use such punctuation as commas. She also has a
good handwriting ability with consistent size, slope and formation, however the actual content of her text does not meet the average standard. Sia
included very little detail in her story and provided no explanations for choices made by the characters which made the text feel incomplete. I
suggest that Sia undertake daily sentence stretching activities in which she practices extending basic story sentences by adding adverbs,
adjectives, explanations and reasoning. This will help her to develop her ability to write a detailed text. Another weakness in Sias writing was
her lack of topic specific vocabulary, she used only one or two words specific to the theme of her story showing she may need to expand her
vocabulary knowledge. I suggest that Sias weekly spelling list incorporates a variety of new vocabulary words and requires some sort of
definition activity in which Sia has to find the definition of that word and write it down or draw a picture representing the definition. The written
text shows that Sia may have forgotten about language features and how things such as metaphors, similes, personification and onomatopoeia
 can be used to make a text more interesting, therefore I believe revision of this topic is needed to ensure Sia will be able to effectively use these
in her next writing activity. Sia has a basic understanding of how to create an engaging text, if she continues to works on her developing her
imaginative writing in the areas suggested she will benefit greatly in her outcomes.

PART C Sia Adam Matt

K-6 Literacy syllabus: Black= what student is achieving, Underlined= Intended focus for child
EN2-7B Uses very few language features to give the Uses good topic specific vocabulary but needs Uses a range of language features including
reader a greater understanding. Needs to include to improve use of punctuation and figurative vocabulary and punctuation to improve the
features such as punctuation, topic specific language in order to develop the readers readers understanding. Try using figurative
vocabulary and figurative language. understanding. language.
EN2-9B Uses very little topic specific vocabulary. Shows Elaborates on ideas well to give the reader Uses effective organisation of ideas to create a
some use of connectives and very basic use of more understanding and shows some use of clear flowing text. Punctuation is used clearly to
punctuation. Needs to elaborate on ideas and language structure. Needs to use punctuation give meaning to text and elaboration of ideas
increase punctuation awareness. and follow a clear text structure to ensure used helps to develop reader understanding.
Should incorporate TS vocabulary to engage maximum reader understanding of text. Needs to maintain same tense throughout text
the reader. Must use effective organisation of Effective organisation of ideas will help to as well as using paragraphs to create a clearer
ideas to ensure the text makes sense as well as improve texts. flow.
including grammatical features such as
pronouns and conjuctions to create a clear
flowing text.
EN2- Attempts to establish a setting through the use of
10C vocabulary. Should use more creative language
to describe characters, events and settings
and elaborate on ideas.
EN2-5A Shows phonemic awareness when trying to spell
unknown words. Needs to work on strategies
for spelling unknown words.
EN2-3A Handwriting is consistent in size, slope and
spacing.
A-E Sia has a basic knowledge and understanding of
how to write an imaginative text piece. Sia lacks
knowledge of the skills & processes necessary to
successfully write a descriptive text.
Sia has demonstrated she has a basic
understanding of the skills and processes
required to write an imaginative text but lacks
knowledge of creative language features. She
shows the ability to use basic punctuation and
attempted to use spelling strategies, however
deeper knowledge of punctuation is needed. Sia
also needs to expand her vocabulary in order to
create more engaging texts. She is currently
achieving around cluster 6 level.
Vocabul Small range of vocabulary used. Needs to work
ary on increasing vocabulary and using more
topic specific words.
Establishes a clear setting and atmosphere
through the use of vocabulary. Uses creative
language to describe characters and events.
Needs to extend on character description.
Shows little knowledge of how to spell
unknown words using spelling strategies. Must
practice spelling strategies.
Handwriting is poor with inconsistencies in
size, slope and spacing. Needs to practice
handwriting.
Common grade scale
Adam has a sound knowledge and
understanding of how to construct an
imaginative writing piece and has achieved an
adequate level of competence in the processes
and skills required for this.
Literacy Continuum
Adam has demonstrated that he has wide
vocabulary knowledge and is able to use this
knowledge effectively when constructing a text
to engage the reader, however, his
understanding of the skills required to write a
text are very basic. Adam shows little
understanding of punctuation as well as
spelling strategies used to spell unknown
words. Adam is currently sitting around cluster
7.
Naplan
Topic specific vocabulary is used to give the
text more meaning. Strong words used such as
powerful and intense. make the text more engaging.
Establishes a clear setting and atmosphere
through the use of vocabulary. Uses a range of
language features to describe characters, events
and elaborate on ideas in the text.
Shows great ability to spell unknown words.
Needs to improve understanding of spelling
rules and morphemic knowledge.
Handwriting is consistent in size and slope.
Needs to practice spacing of words.
Matt has a thorough knowledge and
understanding of how to construct and
imaginative text and has a high level of
competence in the processes and skills. In
addition, Matt is able to apply this knowledge
and these skills to most situations
Matt has demonstrated his wide vocabulary
knowledge including the ability to use topic
specific vocabulary when constructing a text to
make it more engaging to the reader. He shows a
great ability to use correct punctuation including
quotation marks and use known strategies to
spell unknown words. Matt just needs to develop
his grammar awareness and ensure he edits his
work. Matt is currently sitting around cluster 8.
Topic specific vocabulary is used to give the text
more meaning. Direct speech is also used to
Audienc Shows little awareness of audience and purpose
e of text. Needs to extend on character
description to engage readers.
Text Does not use general text structure including
Structur introduction, complication, and resolution etc.
e Needs to work on following a text structure.
Ideas Uses some imagination & creativity in text.
Needs to expand and elaborate on ideas
Charact Gives little to no description of characters and
er and settings in text. Needs to include more
Setting description and detail.
Cohesio Ideas do not link clearly and explanations are
n missing. Must explain choices made and
reasoning for text to flow smoothly.
Paragra No paragraphs used.
phs
Sentence Uses simple sentence structure including full
Structur stops & capital letters but skips words.
e
Punctua Uses basic punctuation including capitals and
tion full stops. Needs to include commas,
exclamation marks & question marks.
Spelling Able to spell some complex words however
needs to work on spelling strategies to spell
unknown words.
Shows some awareness of audience and
purpose of text as descriptions are given.
Needs to extend on character description to
engage readers.
Shows basic text structure including
introduction and complication but needs to
elaborate on resolution.
Ideas are explained well and all develop
through the story.
Good description of setting is given but more
description of characters is needed
Clear flow of the story created by events
following chronological order.
No paragraphs used.
Uses simple sentence structure with most
sentences starting with I.
Text lacks any punctuation except for capital
letters and full stops which are used
inconsistently. Needs to include punctuation.
Many spelling mistakes made with little
knowledge of spelling strategies demonstrated.
Needs to work on spelling strategies.
Shows great awareness of audience as
characters, setting and events are described in
detail.
Shows basic text structure and clear order of
events within the text. Needs to finish story and
create resolution.
Text shows creativity and imagination used.
Ideas are explained well but development is
poor.
Great detail included when describing characters
and setting.
Most of the ideas in the text link well except
towards the end when explanations are missing
(e.g. why did he run back inside?)
No paragraphs used.
Simple, compound and complex sentences used
correctly.
Text shows very good knowledge of speech
marks, full stops and commas but lacks question
marks and exclamation marks.
Shows great ability to spell unknown words.
Needs to improve understanding of spelling
rules and morphemic knowledge.

Student: Adam Green Class: 2/3J Date: 27/03/2017 Review date: 27/05/2017
Needs Outcomes Indicators/Specific Strategies & Resources Who? Monitoring When?
Goals
 EN2-5A: uses a range Decrease spelling Daily practice of spelling list using Whole class with Weekly spelling During spelling
Spelling of strategies, including mistakes in written texts look, cover write check method and teacher daily. tests on Friday of lessons and in
Punctuation knowledge of letter to 5 or less mistakes per spelling strategies including Adam at home 2-3 each week own time.
Language features sound correspondences every 50 words written knowledge of lettersound times per week
Proof reading and common letter correspondences and common letter with parents.
Sight words patterns, to spell 19m 90 words patterns to spell unknown words.
Handwriting familiar and some Weekly spelling list
unfamiliar words
EN2-9B: uses effective Uses full stops, capital Editing sentences daily by inserting Adam with teacher Daily assessment During silent
and accurate sentence letters and commas correct punctuation and playing monitoring. of punctuation reading and
structure, grammatical correctly in a text with a punctuation bingo to revise Whole class for edited texts by creative writing
features, punctuation maximum of only 2 functions of punctuation marks. bingo with teacher looking at ratio of lessons.
conventions and mistakes made per direction. mistakes made per
vocabulary relevant to paragraph. paragraph.
the type of text when
responding to and
composing texts Observation of During jointly
EN2-7B: identifies and Uses at least one adjective Regularly play adjective-adverb sort Whole class with Adams constructed
uses language forms and or adverb per sentence in game on the smartboard. teacher monitoring successfulness in wrtiting lessons
features in their own creative writing. Practice sentence stretching daily by Adam with teacher word sort game & individual
writing appropriate to a adding adverbs and adjectives to a assistance for and analysis of writing tasks.
range of purposes, plain short sentence. sentence new sentences.
audiences and contexts stretching.
EN2-3A: uses effective Improved handwriting Guided handwriting practice with Weekly journal During
handwriting and with consistent size, slope teacher. Adam individually entries to show handwriting
publishes texts using and formation. Use visual cues to assist with with teacher Adams weekly lessons
digital technologies writing. assistance. development in
Using highlighted writing paper to handwriting,
develop letter size differentiation assessed by
teacher

Bibliography

K-6 English syllabus- NSW Education Standards Authority

Literacy Continuum- uonline.newcastle.edu.au

Naplan data- naplan.edu.au

Common grade scale- http://arc.bostes.nsw.edu.au/go/k-6/common-grade-scale/