ALICE IN WONDERLAND CREATED BY THE MANHATTAN PROJECT UNDER THE DIRECTION OF ANDRE GREGORY * DRAMATISTS. PLAY SERVICE INC.CE IN WONDERLAND an adaptation of the Novel by Lewis Car ‘A new play created, formed and veriten by the orginal members of The Manhattan Project: Gerry Barman, ‘Tom Covell Andre Saskia Noordhoek Hegt, Jerry Mayer, Angela Pietropinto and Larry Pine, under the direction of Andre Gregory ‘The play is continuous without an intermision ser. ng srs about 20320 sounded by wooden bleachers 0a ALICE IN ONDERLAND be referred to as their first names when they are actress playing ionally attempt to escabe Jrom the circle but never succeed wntil the end of the oem. As they emerge a deep, low groan 1s heard, JERRY. Twas ‘The jaws thar bite the shun the frumious ANGELA. He took his vorpal sword in hand, Jong time. ime. (Bre ‘eyes of flame, came wh rey wood, and bur- bled as i came. GERRY. One, two. One, two, And through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack. He le ts head, he went galumphing back. TOM. And hast thou slain the jabberwock? Come to my arms, my fh boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chordled in his joy. JERRY. (As Jerry repeals bis verse, the otbers say their cum coves did gyre and gimble in rogroves, and the mome rats outgrabe, (Al fall apart. Tor, and Gerry fall u, R. Lary, 5begins rowing. Jerry gets cross 0. t. and form tableau bank. Sas a lap.) JERRY/DODGSON. All in a. golden_afternoo ‘we glide; for both our oars with little hands are thinks.) for both our oars are plied golden afternoon, ful we plid File... (Gives up.) LARRY, (Rowing becomes more and more desperate, sudtenly stops, throws down oar.) Alice! A childish story take and with a gentle hand Iny it, where childhood dreams are twined in mem fory’s mystic band . . like 2 pil of flowers plucked in a far off land, (He begins to make heart beat by beating bis fists on the floor. Tom forms Gerry into white rabbit and «at the final moment of creation the rabbi rabbit and Larry creates a bole with bis body Jor the rabbit to escape into. Alice follows and just as she enters the hole, they all os) DODGSON, Alice! .. . And her sister, siting on the bank, be inning to get rather red, with the day, and considering, inher fon mind... when suddenly a white rabbie with pink eyes ran by her. In another moment, down went Alice after it (The begins —a series of swings, throws and catches of Alice by the think nothing of falling down: think me at home . .. down, down, down the fall never come to an end? 1 wonder if! shal through the Earth... how curious that would be . down, down, . . . Dinah, my dear, I wi with me but there are no mice in the but you leaves and the fall was over, (This speech and the children's swing ing games end simultaneously and all the actors except Dodgson fall to the ground and lie stil for a moment until next burst of energy.) ALL, (Jo Alice as they scurry around ber.) Oh my ears and 6 (Cewis pulls Alice to ber feet.) ALICE, We do? LEWIS. We do, You first. (Pushes her down front. Gerry sereams from under table) ‘ALICE, What was that? (She crouches down with ber bair hanging down in front of her face.) LEWIS, Wait . . right in front of you there is 2 bea golden curtain . . . and behind that curtain there is ALICE. (Parting ber hair away from ber face.) ‘The Rabbi! (Together) LEWIS, A door! (‘Making himself into. a door.) ALICE, A door? . . . Ob, the door. He had to get out of here ‘someway. (Sbe tries to open the door.) LEWIS. But you are in the mysterious hall of Locked Doors! Cherry's mysterious laugh) ALICE, We need a key. LEWIS. Don’t look now, but right behind you there is a small ¢lass table, and on that table there is a golden K-E-Y. Don’t look. Reach back and get the Key. (Gerry bas crept out from under the table and snuck up behind Alice and becomes the table, Alice reaches back and touches bis bead.) ALICE. I's fuzzy! LEWIS. Get the key! (Sbe does and opens the door.) ALICE. (As she pushes the door/Cewis open.) but Alice. "Stars ond St Te’s a garden (Cowis cuts the music) Iknow . . . with trees and flowers and fountains. (All but Alice rake garden sounds—birds chirping and water splashing—and Jerry sings "Spring Song") Oh, yes love birds .". « oh, could we... come on, let's go. (Alice tries to push her way through but Lewis sits up pushing her bock and thereby closing the door to the garden.) LEWIS. No! You're too big. ALICE, We've got to make that door bigger. 7LEWIS. No, we've got to make you smaller. ALICE. Yeah! How are we going to do that? LEWIS. Irs easy. You get bigger every day... right? ALI you do that? LEWIS. Yes, but by ALICE, Eating LEWIS. And wha’ the opposite of eating? ddddda. sive me a hint. table there is a the magic words, ALICE. Arsen LEWIS. Poison becaus ALICE, I've been poisoned bis arms) ALICE. Why, not? {you are in the mysterious ALICE, Oh yeah. I can see s0 you mustn't get upset LEWIS. Pm not upset jst go right up the leg. (Uses Lewis as the leg and ies to climb up him.) Stay stil. These glass legs are very slippery ‘you know.LEWIS. Cake! ALICE. Wi Cake... (He starts to put her down.) ‘ve almost got... no, don’t put me down . (She is silenced.) GERRY. Eat me. ALICE, Where is this cake? LEWIS. Get up very carefully, and it won't even be squashed hoopla Al ICE. No. Suppos cake and get ‘Then you get to go under the door jt jer hands and he helps ber up.) ping it off her dress.) Would you like some? (He sake, eat the ake... On the cake, eeeeeat the cake. rate the sound of « parade ALICE. Which way? Which’ way? LEWIS/AGENT. I am going to make you the biggest thing parade in the biggest city in the world . . . now, what iggest thing in the biggest parade in the biggest city the the ‘The balloon, LEWIS/AGENT. The balloon? Nah, The balloon princess! (He blows ber up using her ALICE. Me? . . . Yeah, me. (SI 100 big. (Lewis stops blowing ber ing a Balon in front of ber.) LEWIS, I'm the Drum Major. ALICE, Oh yes, we need a drum major... down there... at my feet . . . Vim the biggest thing in the parade. LEWIS, (The mace det down ‘You want to be bigger than me? {TEWIG, You want Beige han ME. 10 ALICE. Yes... hello down there... your said. (Cewis gets down on his bac at her feet.) LEWIS. Hurray . . . (The othe Lewis.) . . . hooray for Alice ALICE. Ye LEWIS your feet ALICE. Oh, yes. (Leans cheer the princess with Thave the ALICE. Yeah Lewis make mi you... Yim not playing with you anymore, (Lewis bed freate the rabbit By cupping bis bard and speaking in a sm rabbit's voice). . . because you cheat. LEWIS/RABBIT. Oh my ears and whiskers . . oh dear, 1 ‘oh, the Duchess... the Duchess will have my fh, my ears... - my Fear about your ears... 1... 0h no... is that the . 1, (She kneels down and takes Lewis’ hand and moves it away revealing the rabbit)... . oh... ob, excuse LEWIS/RABBIT. Oh, ALICE/LEWIS. Oh, s today, wonder FV cold Rove been changed in the night? the next who am fourteen, four times cight >. L must have been changed for Mabel and itLEWIS. Seesssea se ALICE. No there can’t be a sea serpent, There is no sea. Not ina the lise exocodile improve the rile on every golden spreads jaws. (Cewis LEWIS. Yes, salt sea. Sea of tears. . your tem ALICE. Go away Grown (Lewis/sea serpent comes closer.) group starts to make sea sounds By. 1 by the sea. ”) disappears under the table whale ns The following scene is played LEWIS /PUPPETEER, and saying, “Com ALICE/PUPPET. Tam first, And LICE. Mouse . . . oh, mouse . . . do you know the way out of this Sea? Oh, mouse, Oh, maybe he doesn’t understand English? Maybe he's a French mouse. Ou est ma chat ALICE, Oh, no. MOUSE. (Sereams:) ‘wish they'd pat e for catching mice. : (The Mouse 19. We won't talk about her anymore if you T would ever tak on such a sub: ject. Our family has always hated cats, They're nasty, low, mean, ‘vulgar creatures. Don't you ever let me hear you mention them tnderstand why 1 discovered is a group of animals huddled todether with Alice in the middle. There is duck, crab, lory. dodo and the mouse. They are all wet and uncomfortable) William the Conqueror, whose them away she defa Cause was favored by the Pope, was soon submitted to by the LEWIS. (Lewis) arn English, who wanted leaders, and who were much accustomed a5 Ssssssssee of late to usurpation and conquest, Now, Edwin and Morcar, the ats and dogs. (Li Twas bad. Look foun ears) See ands over ber ectbeg your oceed. Eulwin and Moreat, bishop found, MOUSE. H. ing and offer him adoption of more energ the Dodo.) LORY. Speak English. 1 don’ saying. DODO. 1 was about to sa place mn paper curtain) ALL. (Cron around the Dodo) Who won? Who won? DODO.1... 1 CRAB. Who? DODO. 1... think thy have rites ‘She must give prizes, ion’ have any. 4 DODO. What else have you got? (They all close inom her again.) ALICE. I have a thimble thimbles ‘You promised to tell us cats and dogs. (Al crowd ) and why itis that you hat ind mouse screaming “story, story. long and a sad tale long and sad. We'd better ) Yes, sit. and come to order after « few shouts of mouse that he met in the house, prosecute you” (He points 10 ‘cause and condemn you to the Dodo and Alice You. (Jo Alice) ALICE, T wae attending think, ‘you had gotten to the fifth bend 1 5MOUSE. I had not. ALICE, Oh, a knot. Let me help you undo it MOUSE. Ill do nothing of the sort. Your conduct offends me very much. (Exits) ALICE. It was a joke. You're easily offended, you know. LORY, What a pity i wouldn't stay. Tha should be a lesson to ‘you, never to lose your temper. ‘CRAB, Story. Story. What about story? |ALICE, Me? It was the mouse who lost his temper. LORY. No, you are enough to try the patience of an oy ALICE, It wae the Dodo who asked me a question and I simply answered him. DUCK, (Pulling at Alice's dress.) Why don't you take off your clothes? LORY. I am older than you and must know better. ALICE, Oh yes? How old are you? LORY. How old are you? ALICE, How old are you? LORY. How old are you? ALICE, 1 asked you ‘oh, f wish U had Din slond) CRAB. (Wha has been encouraging the Lory to fabt ‘Who's Dinah? LORY, Who's Dinah, if T might venture to ask the question. ALICE, You might venture... Dinah’s my cat LORY. Dinah’s my . . . CAT! ALICE, Yes, cat. Ob, she low ALICE, (Jo Lory as she her. DODO. Cad? ALICE. No, cat. you know. . . . (Dodo beg} ‘no, no, not you... . [im sure Dinah’s the best appear one by one and surrourd GERRY. Ooooh, my dear paws LARRY. She'l have me executed rouse slowly pushes house ALICE, (As she col GERRY. Never pet out again TOM. Came an angry voice SASKIA. Keep her neck from being broken, TOM, Came an angry voice. LARRY. Trembled tll she shook the house ALL. (Except Alice.) Down. down, ALICE. Noooo, (She kicks her way cand runs of) Tl put 2 and then entire scene. As the mush audience and re-enters got to get back lovely garden, Yes; mple and easy to arrange - .. if y right size, But how is that to be have ¢9 et oF drink somethingnow who Twas when I got up this morning, bu I've been changed several since then. CATERPILLAR. What do you mean by that? Explain yourself? in myself. Ym not myself, you see? CATERPILLAR. | don’t se. ALICE, Ym afraid 1 can't put s snymore clearly than that. You see, 1 don't understand it mys th, But its Being so many diferent sizes in a day . . tha’ what’ very confusing. CATERPILLAR, No it is ALICE, Well, maybe you haven't found it so yet. But you just veait—you're going to have to change into a chrysis . oh, you vel someday, you know, and after that into a buterily. Youll find that afi queer you? (Catt a wings and attemps to fly. Music: Jerry CATERPILLAR. (Music ends) Wow... (Pause). . noc a bit. ALICE, You ate different. That would be very queer t9 me CATERPILLAR. You . .. who are you? (Mushroom sniggers) ALICE. I think you better tell me who you are frst. CATERPILLAR, Why? (Alice begins to leave but merely tinder mshroor.) Come back. I've got something impo say. Keep your temper. (Alice comes up from mushroom.) ALICE, That's IT? CATERPILLAR. Abhi, no. You ALICE. Yes, Ive changed. I to, I cant even Keep the same gether Jnk you've changed? remember things the way I for more than ten minutes to CATERPILLAR, Can't remember... can’t remember what things? ALICE, Well, I tried to say “How Doth The Little Busy Bee.” but itall came out diferent CATERPILLAR. Why don’t William”? ALICE, You are Old Father Wi your hnir has become very white, Yet you your head, at your age do you “You are old Father repeat the young man said, and ALICE. Not quite right. A few of the words got altered, that’s all CATERPILLAR. Noooo0000, That was wrong, from the beginning the end of it. (le slicks out Bis tongue and Alice slaps him. He ns for her to come closer, Alice does so resigned for her ment holding out ber hand. The Caterpillar takes it and uses «id you want to be? ALICE. Ob, I'm not particular ast the size. i just that one doesn’t ike changing so often, you krow? CATERPILLAR are you happy? ALICE. No, larger, if you don't mind, se ‘Three inches ie a wretched height to be. CATERPILLAR, Three inches is 4 very good height to be. ALICE. Bi tit CATERPILLAR. You'll get used to it in time, One side makes you row taller and the other side makes you grow smaller. (As Alice ide, the ‘mushroom and only hi ‘The Mushroom! MUSHROOM. Aaznaazazanzooccoooooochhhiahhhhkhhmmmmm- mmmm aszaaazazoo000hhhhhhhmm (Alice climbs up on top of ice is heard coming up from inside) Which? (The hand of one actor who is ches ub towards her and she takes a bite 1 dotom and picks up the hookab and takes @ ler and begins to sway. As she re sharp blow be + chin, She was shrinking so rapidly i had struck her about to ext some of the other side JERRY. But when she looked down all she could see was an im length of ned in any direction, ALICE, Like a serpent JERRY. SSSSSSSerpentat the side of the table. One actor, who plays the Frog footman, ‘actor goes be: oaks and jumps up. Alice taps ly om the thtd tap, he speaks.) in knocking, you know, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are, Ww am I to get into the house? we had the door between us, there might be some good in your knocking, you know. ALICE, How am Io get in? FROG, Are you to get know. "ALICE. But what am 1 10 do? at all? That's the first question, you 1 you Tike. (Alice enters aachoo. There's certainly t00 you please tell me why a Cheshire cat and e) ich pepper in your ce that? ses, J0 DUCHESS. I baby.) Pig ALICE. I never knew that Cheshire cats always grinned, 1 never i could grin at ‘of them can and most of them do. Aaaaaachoo. ALICE, Aaanaaachoo, I never knew any who did DUCHESS. You don't know much and that’s 2 fact. ALICE, (Jo Frog who bas just bit her with the watch what your doing. You almost hurt the baby, DUCHESS. If everybody minded their own business, the world ‘would go round a great deal faster then it does. ALICE. That wouldn't be any advantage, you know. You see, the ‘world takes twenty-four hours to go around on its DUCHESS. Speaking of axis, chop off her head! (tt ) Hey, and begins to wildly conduct asthe cook be the Duchess sings im tune of “Amoil Chor my boy and beat him when he sneezes, for he cam tho joy the pepper when he pleases. ALL. Tor he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he plea Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow wow. Wow, wwwa-wow, wwwWar DUCHESS. Here, you may nurse it a bit if you like. T must go had to take the baby. ad there FROG, Wow! ALICE, Anything I like? FROG. Anything. . . - ALICE, Thanks. Come on, ‘audience. She snorts.) You If, (Snorts ages hhave nothing more bers.) Te was an ugly dl (The Chesi has been busy wi onmuch cae, where. matter very much which way you go. ALICE. As long a5 I gee somewhere CAT. Ok, you're bound t0 do that only you walk Far enough, (Laughs hysterically.) ALICE. Could you tell me the kind of people that live around here? CAT. Well, in that direc ¢ Hatter) Lives a Mad at the Hare.) lives a March ALICE. | don’t want to go among mad people CAT. Oh, you can’t help that. We're all of us mad here. Pm mad and you're mad ALICE. How do you know I'm mad? CAT. You must be mad or you wouldn' have come here. (Caughs 50 hard, be falls over. Alice belps bi up and tries to sit next to bim but be raises bis pato again.) Bye the bye, what ever became of the baby? I'd nearly forgotten to ask. turned into a pig. (Co 2) You're crazy. (She sits up on the teble next to him.) CAT. 1 told you s0, Did you say pig or fg? (Laughing uncon: ably) ALICE. I said PIG, (Coughs ) CAT. (Stopping leughing cbruptly,) 1 don't think that's one bit fanny. (AI this point the tableau around the table comes to Ife and the Mad Hatter slams bs fist down on the table shouting) HATTER, NO ROOM, NO ROOM. (Both lice and the Cat jun off the table and run.) HARE. No, no, no, no. . no room there; there's room here. (aps place by him.) HATTER. No oom . . . no. ALICE. There's plenty of room... (Moving cheir over near Hare ) HARE, Would you like some wine! (Takes imaginary bottle and ours) Glug . . glug ALICE, I don’t see any wine, HARE. There isn’t any. ALICE. Then it wasn’t very civil of you wo offer it HARE. It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without Being asked, n ALICE, (Jo Hatter) Yim sorry . . . 1 didn’t know it was your table, I's much larger than for three, you know. HATTER. You know, your hair needs cutting. (Hare throws torn Daper up in the air end Hatter quiets thers.) ALICE. You should learn not to make personal remarks; they're very rude. ing desk? ALICE HARE. Because the notes, HATTER. Abbh! ALICE. No, that’s l HARE You mean, you think you can find out the answer to that riddle? ALICE, Yes, Exactly, HARE, Then you should say what you mean. (Juggles bread.) ALICE, Oh, I do. Well, as least I mean what I say. It’s the same thing, you know. the same thing, not the same. . ight just as well say . . . (Hlare shoves bread in his mouth) HATTER. .... Not the same thing a bit . . . you might just as well say that I see what Lent is the same thing as leat what I see, HARE, You might just DORMOUSE. You might just as well say... (Hare shoves bread in his mouth.) HARE, You might just as well say that I like what I get is the same thing as I get what I like, (Hatter eps bis fingers and ‘motions t9 the Dormouse. Hare whispers.) Yes, now. DORMOUSE, You might just as well say... (Dormouse jor: gets and Hare bangs on Dormouse's army helmet with @ spoon.) ‘you might just as well say that I sleep when I breathe ie the same thing as I breathe when I sleep HATTER. Yes. Of course, it is the same for you. (. politely. The Dormouse becomes excited and Al 4 spoon. She falls off her the Dormouse is oo by the two others.) You wouldn't happen to know to: day's dite? ALICE, The date? . uhhh 2HARE. (Whispers) The thirty-second, ALICE. The thiryy-second .. no... it the (Present date.) Think HATTER. The (Present date)? I'm two days wrong. I told you butter wouldn't suit the works. HARE, Is was the best butter, you know ALICE, (To Hare ) You put butter in his watch? (Hore nods) HATTER, (Jo Bare) Yes, bur you got crumbs in it, Told you not to use the bread knife HARE, But it was the best butter. ALICE. (Crossing to Hatter to better see his watch.) He put butter in your watch? You let him put butter in your watch? (Caughs,) HATTER, Yes... but he got crumbs . Told him not to use the breadknife .. . why are you leans on his shoul der to belp her stand because she is laughing so bard, the Hatter becomes very upset and begins to squeeze the butter. When Alice realizes this she tries 10 control her laughter) ALICE, [e's a funny watch, HATTER. Funny? ALICE. Ie tells you what day of the mont {you what o'clock ii. HATTER, Why shou! 482 it? Does your watch tell you what year it ALICE, No. But it stays the same year a very long time, you know. HATTER. Just the case with mine. ALICE. I beg your pardon? HATTER. (Real hat be bas sq Dormouse's face To Alice who bas qui in.) He was asleep again that riddle yee? HARE, Because Poe wrote on both... . (Hatter screams) what's the answer? fe bewer things to do with your don't have an answer, 4 HATTER. If you knew time as well as 1, you wouldn’t refer to IT, it's HIM, ALICE. | don’t understand you. HATTER. No. I dare say you don't . attention and motions to her sees this and Hore turns signal {you've never even spoken to ALICE. Spoken? (Hare motion: is crazy. The Hatter ‘another motion) 1 daresay ‘no® to Alice.) No, no 1 haven't, me when [earn music. (She bangs ic: Alice, March Hare and Dormouse: "El ice and Hare do a flamenco.) i (When be you know he'd do ah lock, I... suppose for you to - wall, all you'd have to do is just whisper a litle word + +. and around would go the hands of the clock in a twinkling... to... half-past one, maybe . . . time for dinner, thas been playing footsy with Alice under the tab ALICE, You wouldn't be hungry fori then, HATTER, haps not... But you could keep ed, how you manage? HARE. Pessssst . . uh-huh. HATTER, No, that is not how I manage . . . we there just a8 Time and 1... some time ago. . . (Seeing that making time wit Alice) last March it was before HE (Poi Hare.) went mad,HATTER. Get of... GET. . vunder the table.) Come out GET OFF. (Dermouse runs ere... come out ler climbs up onto since then, he wor lock now. to change the subj Tote the young 1 don't know any stories, I'm sor HARE. Then the Dormouse shall. Wake up, Dorm story. DORMOUSE. I wasn't asleep, e Tell us a s going to tellus a story up on the table.) Once upon 2 all right, Go on, HATTER, Nooooo. HARE. GOON, DORMOUSE. Once upon a time, there were three li ‘and their names were and Tillie Lacey (To Mare. HARE. TILLIE. Cfo on able top ) HATTER, TILL! DORMOUSE. . . . and they lived at che bottom of a well 26 ALICE. What did they live on? (4 sround.) DORMOUSE. They lived on... (Spits chewed up bread at Flare)... treacle. ALICE. They couldn't have lived on treacle; they would have been i DORMOUSE. (Jumping off tal ground.) Tf you want to fi the story ALICE. No, no. 1 wo promise HARE. Have some more tea. (Jumping of table and spitting at Dormouse.) HATTER. Yes, do. Have some more tea... . ALICE, I've had nothing at his stupid party; how can 1 have more? HATTER. No, you mean how can you have less? It's very easy to take more than nothing ALICE, Nobody asked your opinion, HATTER. Who’s making the personal remarks now? ALICE. I'm sorry . . . look. (The Hare and the Dormouse stage a gunfight. Music, “High Noon.” The Hare ing Hare, who is prancing wing Alice to. the table. Alice goes and sits on the table next to him and # mouse turns the table over) DORMOUSE, And they were leaming to draw. ALICE. What di they draw? DORMOUSE. They drew everything that begins with an “ML” ALICE. Why with an DORMOUSE. Why nor? Everything... like moonlight and memory . . . and ALICE. Mushrooms . |< that begins with an DORMOUSE. And muchness ..". you know you say thi “much of 2 muchn hve you ever seen such 3th drawing of a muchness? ALICE. A drawing? . .. No piece of chalk from his pocke naked woman bi ALICE, i drawing into a teapot.) a teapot. (Sbe turns Den 7HATTER. A teapot? I and you're 1 tenpot and table and jo le top. Music: "Stars and °F. Dum a J. Dee ina likes Liddell Gils etc.) le from off stage and tbe Hatter and Hare scream ap over the table and hide.) RED QUEEN. (Jo ALICE. My nar ont sties, RED QUEEN. And what ALICE. How should | knowe? KING, Consider my deat, she's only a child JERRY/LARRY/GERRY, (Popping up from behind the table.) ler my dear, she's only a child. (The Queen goes berserk she's only a chil rer om the rear KING... . Uh. . . let's play croquet RED QUEEN. (To Alice) Can you pl GERRY. No, LARRY. No. croquet? ALICE... Uh. . . yeah, I can play croquet, GERRY/LARRY/JERRY. Ohhh, no. . . chh, ohhh, (Tbe King bs ALICE, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean . . . (Bie curls up in his place:) RED QUEEN. Your turn. GERRY /QUEEN'S BALL. Visitors firs. ALICE, Oh, no. After you, your Majesty. JERRY/ALICE'S BALL. Queens first. Royalty preceeds . RED QUEEN. No, no, no, After you . . after you. ALICE, Well, thank you. If you insist . . . (The Queen shoots fst.) Good shot, your Majesty GERRY/QUEEN'S BALL. (Missing wisket on purpose, turns to ‘Queen and sticks out bis tongue.) Nyaxaaah, RED QUEEN, Off with his head, ALICE, My turn, (She makes ber sbol.) We go again. RED QUEEN, No, it's my turn row. ALICE. But my ball when through the wicket . . . you go again iit goes . RED QUEEN. You don’t know the rules of the game. (Starts to shoot.) ALICE. You don't know. (They shoot together, both screaming “BALL.” The two balls collide with the wicket.) JERRY. Hey, we had the right-of-way. It was our turn, GERRY. I'm the Queen's ball... (He gets bopped by both the ‘Queen and lice.) RED QUEEN. Off with their heads . . . ball, (She sends Gerry throwah the wick, ALICE. (Grabbing the wicket [Larry] and pulling him towards her.) No. It's my turn, RED QUEEN. (Grabbing him back.) Tes my turn, (A tug of war with the wicket ensues as the women abt over whose turn it is ‘Queen bops Alice on the head.) Off with your head. YOUR head. (They stalk each other.) ing Alice) OF with your head. ALICE. (Hitting the Queen.) Nonsense. (The Queen and Alice freeze The men create a forest by placing an umbrella with in front of the only light source which gives the effect of ring through the trees. Each one takes an umbrella and ands. Larry takes an old sink or tigers around here?FOREST. No, that’s just the red King snoring. He's dreaming now. ‘What do you suppose he’s dreaming about? ALICE. No one can guess that. FOREST. Why about you. If that there King were to leave off ‘dreaming, where do you suppose you'd be? ALICE. Right where Iam now, of course. FOREST. Not you. You'd be nowhere, You're nothing but a sort of thing in his dream, If that there king were to wake, you'd go cea candle. Phoof. FOREST. You know very well, you're not real ALICE. No, Pm rel. FOREST. Shouting won't make you a bit more real, y/know. 1 hhope you don’t suppose those are real shouts. Real shouts: (They shout. Alice screams and collapses under one of the trees, pause, ids. The White Queen rushes on and catches ber shawl ree under which Alice is hiding. Alice sees the shauol and cautiously comes out.) ALICE. Am I addressing the White Queen? you call that addressing, Ie "e your Majesty will just tell me the right way to as lean, done at all. I've been a-dressing myself for the ALICE. May | help you on with your WHITE QUEEN. I don’t know what pinned it here and Pve pinned it there, bi ALICE. May 1? If you pi the Queen's and izes But really, you ought to get you WHITE QUEEN, I think Tl take y: week and jam every other day. ALICE. 1 don’t want you to hire me. 1 don’t lke jam. WHITE QUEEN. Oh, i's very good jam. ALICE. I don’t want any today at any rate have it if you did want it. You (She sinds) jam tomorrow and jam yester ever jam today. come to today sometime, you know. 30 ) There, you look better now. a lady's maid. th pleasure, Two pence 2 the rule day, but ne ALICE. t's ge WHITE QUEEN. No, it can't, (Sings.) It's jam every other day and today isn’t any other day. You see? ‘ALICE, I don’t understand. I's all very confusing, WHITE QUEEN. Ob, th: spins around.) It makes one ALICE. Living backwards? WHITE QUEEN. Yes. But there is a great advantage . . . and that is that your memory works both ways. ALICE, I'm sure mine only works one way... . I can't remem- the effect of living backwards, (She le giddy at first. WHITE QUEEN. That's a very poor sort of memory that only works backwards. (She wraps Alice's her shawl.) ALICE, Do you think you would tell me the kinds of things that ‘you remember best? WHITE QUEEN. Oh, ... things chat happened a week after next, For instance finger and concent and the trial won't even begi the crime comes last ALICE, Suppose he doesn’t commit the crime? WHITE QUEEN, That would be all the better, would ALICE. It wouldn't be all the beter his being punished for it WHITE QUEEN. You ALICE. Only for faults WHITE QUEEN. And you were all the better for it, I know. ALICE. Yes . . . no, I had DONE the things I was punished for. Te makes all che diflerence, you see? WHITE QUEEN. Ye have heen better, and to scream.) ALICE, the matter? WHITE QUEEN. My finger's bleeding ALICE. What happened? WHITE QUEEN. No, I hav edie yet, But 1 soon shall ALICE. When de you intend the King’s messenger, (Hlolds up ber in prison now being punished ft Wednesday. And of course, done them, that would bs her finger and stats (Alice ‘Queen whoWHITE QUEEN. (Jabs herself, Alice helps her free her finger from the shawl.) There. Th: for the bleeding, you see. Now you understand the way things happen in here. (Taps her head.) ALICE, W WHITE QUEEN. You must be very happy living in this wood and being glad whenever your ALICE, Oh, no... no, what a great git! you 3 come today. . . consid ler any> wi Tam... one besi five months and a day. Try again, Take a deep breath possible things. to buy? deczily to and begin spout me T may. you snd behind you have eves im the Baek: ALICE, (Jerry bas thrown an ead into the bouncing shaw) Things beat about here so. it you want to buy? Make up WHITE QUEEN. Oh, gs into people's will never do. They have to get it for themselves. Get it for your: the shawl. The men use the shawl LARRY. I never pat TOM. Would you excuse me? (All except Alice buddle together concealing the eag from ber. As she goes to each they open their they do not have the egg. When she totally confused.) Get it for (Pointing to the veiled Humpty.) off of Humpty.) How exactly ike (During the Humply scene, the other actors hold Humpty up HUMPTY, HUMPTY. (Holding up an egg to show her, Pause) . . . State your name and bu ALICE. My name is Alice HUMPTY. That's a silly enough name... what does it mean? ALICE, Must 2 name mean something? HUMPTY. Of course, my name means the shape 1 am. And a ood good handsome shape itis too. With a name likes yo could be any shape almost. (Fe totlers on the stack of ch: ALICE, Why do you sit up there all by yourself? 2HUMPTY. Because there's nobody with me. Did you think "0 on, ask me another. ALICE. No you think you'd be safer here on the ‘ground? HUMPTY. What easy riddles you ask, No, I dé safer there on the ground . . . you fof course, there's 0 chance, no chance le pale of his horses andall . . ‘ALICE. (Speaking with him.) . . . And all of his men... yeah. HUMPTY. Ob, yeah . . . you've been eavesdropping as well ‘and down chimneys . . . you Mayhap you proud. Here. You can shake my hand. (She does so.) Now, I have a question for you . . . how old did you say you were? ps, but two always can, «help you could have left off bang, right at seven. there's glory for you. ALICE. Well, that depends on what you mean by ere’s a nice knock down argum ‘mean a nice knock down argument. ‘Nixon.) May { make one thing perfectly u means precisely what I choose it wg more and nothing less. en I work a word extra, I pay it extra. You should see ’em, Saturday nights, they come around here to get their ‘wages: the verbs, nouns, adverbs, adjectives . . . PREPOSITIONS. le of my friend. . as the next fellow when it is poom that | was going to recite was written en- tirely for your benefit. ALICE Ohbbh, . . . thank you. (He motions for ber to sit, she 8 this song fe I, you know. Vm singing or not, you have ing when woods are getting try and tell you what I mean, ALICE. Thank you. HUMPTY. In summer when the diys are derstand the song. In Autumn when the 1, Perhaps you'll un- are brown, take pen «But I don't know if 111 remember it that long, HUMPTY. You know, you needs’t go on making remarks ike 350. HUMPTY, Ie gets easier further on “fe would be ” But the that gr I. Goodbye (She gels up cand gently taps Humpty.) WHITE KNIGHT, It was a glorious victory, wasn't it? ALICE, T'don't know. I don't want to be anybody's prisoner; 1 want to be a Queen. WHITE KNIGHT. (Getting up and walking stiffly towards t brook, take you back That's the end of my move. (He bis bis bead.) Clana! cd help, WHITE KNIGHT, (ndistinct mumbling, as if bis speech were ‘mufled ) Clang. Clang. Clang, (Sie bends over from the waist.) Creeeceak. (Mufied speech.) ALICE, What. what «hy your, tele (She Puls er farms around bis head and pretends to flips ber over his shoulder. She springs crashing down almost on top of her Clay: Comer. you guess why T did that? In hopes that some bees may make a and I could get the honey not very likely there I be any bees around here. ALICE. What are they for? ‘WHITE KNICHTT To guard gin the Bes of rks, (Sh ind the ankle and bites ber ley better go. Help me on my horse and Lice shakes ber ead.) Help me on my hore. WHITE KNIGHT, Help me on my horse, (He comes menacingly towards her and she immediately cups ber hands to help bim up on 37inary horse) Ws over there. points. He begins to mount but stops abraptty.) Is your hair well ened on? ALICE sual Fashion, WHITE KNIGHT. Ob, that's not nearly enough. The wind have a plan for keeping it (lice nods and be First you take an make your hair creep up it Tike a fruit tree, Now the only . . . problem with hair is that you know. Nothing ever falls upwards, you see what 1 an invention af my own. You may try ie if you like not very comfortable. WHITE KNIGHT. Do you know what the great art of riding is? 0 keep your balance. Like thi. (e junps onto her back.) ldy-up. (Alice falls and they both land on the ground vith Alice on top.) Aaazaazazah, his arm around him up.) As Twas saying, the great art of her neck and she riding He jumps on her agai ALICE, idiculous. Maybe you ought to get yourself ‘wooden horse. You know, the kind with the wheels. WHITE KNIGHT. Does that kind go more smoothly? ALICE, It's better than 2 live one. WHITE KNIGHT, Well, maybe I'l get myself one . . . oF two I get several. Why not? Why not? WHITE KNIGHT, Because I'm a great hand at inventing things. 1 daresay you noticed the Inst time you helped me up, T was look- ALICE, You were grave. WHITE KNIGHT. Well, just then I vas thinking of @ new way of over a gate. Would you like to hear it? ALICE. No. No I said 1 didn't want to hear it, (le aoes on.) EM not listening WHITE KNIGHT. I tell you how I came to think of it. You see, [said to myself, “the only problem is with the feet; the head is high enough already,” if you know what T mean, Here, help. 38 (He scoops ber up and lays her down on the ground in front of ‘Then I'm over, you see? ALICE. You'd be over once you did that think ies going to hard to do, WHITE KNIGHT. I don’t know... Uhaven’e say for certain, YET. impossible, is not impossible. (Bie rests his bead on ber looks up at ber and ton a real WHITE KNIGHT. fences; she reaches for him but he suddenly robs something of ber bead.) Assaahhbh! ALICE. What? WHITE KNIGHT, (Taking the imaginary object and placing it on bis own head, he strikes a it.) Clang, Clang. ALICE, (Taking bis bead in her bards.) Oh, what a beautiful hel tet is that an invention of your oven? WHITE KNIGHT. Yes, but I've invented 2 Tt was shaped like a sugar-loaf. So whenever I fel hit the ground right away and I dicn’t have very far to fall. Like this, you see? (He falls with rigid body to the floor.) But to be sure, (Alice runs over to ‘mouth but he pushes her away and continues.) T did that once, and the ‘worst part of that was thatthe other White Knight eame along and hhe put i¢ on because he thought i¢ was his own helmet, do. you ‘know what T mean? ALICE. You must have hurt him very much, WHITE KNIGHT. I had to kick him, of course, and then he of, but it took hours and hours to get me out. I was stuck «as lightning, do. you know what 1 mean? ALICE. No, that's a diferent kind of fastness, WHITE KNIGHT, It was all kinds of fasiness with me, 1 can assure you. But it was careless of him to put another man’s helmet and with the man ‘ALICE Please: How ean you goon talking WHITE KNICHT. What diference does it make whether 1 go on talking? My mind . . . my mind keeps on inventing new things 39ye sort that pudding during the next course?” ALICE. In time for the next course. WHITE KNIGHT. Of course not. (Caugbs at his eum joke.) In for the next course? Of COURSE not. 'ALICE. Then it must have been the next day. You wouldn't want WHITE KNIGHT. Not very a diference it makes when you mix ke gunpowder and sealing wax. Of fagmary pot and creates an explosion) Bartoom. ‘(Covering her ears) No, no T've got to go. But you look a file sad. Let song first to comfort you and then Il been the name is ALICE. The WHITE KNIGHT, No, you ‘The song is called “Ways and Mean: called, you know. ALICE, What snother only what the song. 40 1g on a Gat song in the style of Bob Dylan.) the way Lget my bread—a wile, if you please.” ‘was thinking of 2 plan © dye one’s whiskers green, ‘And always use so large a fan, eat they could not be sen So having no rely to pve to what the old man si, Teried; “Come, tll me how you live,” and thumped him on the a. (Oe thumps Alice on the bead by placing one a bead and biting bis cum and. Alice be ALICE. No, no more, please. (When be self at bim and collapses unt for haddock’s eyes among the he silent night ry shine, purchase nine ig for buttered rolls,” (He breaks off here to get ion.) Hey! Dig for buttered rolls. (He makes digging Knight bas to gestures silence ber cabs, ‘And that's the way”—he gave a wink—"by which I get my wealth, ‘And very gladly will drink your honor’s noble hea ‘And now if eer by cha Or madly squeeze 2 shoe, a“(Or drop upon my toe, a very heavy weight, T weep, for it reminds me so of that old man I used t0 know— hose speech was slow, han the snow, ‘That summer evening long ag0, Acsitting on a gate. ‘eave it 19 me 36 I get to the bend in encourage me, you know what I mean? Did “you like the song? (Alice nods, and then shakes her head tiolently and then begins to ned agaim totally confused.) I hope to. You didn’t ery nearly so much as 1 thought you would. And the best song | know. I don’t know any better songs than that, (Exits mumbling ) e's the Best one in my re ed the song... (Alone) ler bim and balf 19 the ground as if fal short pause and t done backwards. Alice is tossed from person to person as she was reverse order.) oh. Whiskers and ears my oh the and leaves dry and sticks of bed a thump suddenly when eat cats do cats do but, Know your mouse alike very ‘you but air the in mice no are there. th here do the would, Down, down, down, rave how down-stars falling of 2 that’s and bat a catch mi Down, down, down, me Dinah and an to come hhome at me think all they nothing think ing the tableau of ‘again, she is comind out of 8