LADYWINDERMERESFAN

By

OscarWilde
CONTENTS:
THEPERSONSOFTHEPLAY .................................................................................3
FIRSTACT.................................................................................................................5
SECONDACT..........................................................................................................20
THIRDACT .............................................................................................................36
FOURTHACT..........................................................................................................49
THEPERSONSOFTHEPLAY

LordWindermere
LordDarlington
LordAugustusLorton
Mr.Dumby
Mr.CecilGraham
Mr.Hopper
Parker,Butler

LadyWindermere
TheDuchessofBerwick
LadyAgathaCarlisle
LadyPlymdale
LadyStutfield
LadyJedburgh
Mrs.CowperCowper
Mrs.Erlynne
Rosalie,Maid

THESCENESOFTHEPLAY

ACTI.

MorningroominLordWindermereshouse.

ACTII.

DrawingroominLordWindermereshouse.

ACTIII.

LordDarlingtonsrooms.

ACTIV.

SameasActI.

TIME:

ThePresent

PLACE:

London
.

Theactionoftheplaytakesplacewithintwentyfourhours,beginningonaTuesday
afternoonatfiveoclock,andendingthenextdayat1.30p.m.

LONDON:ST.JAMESSTHEATRE

LesseeandManager:Mr.GeorgeAlexanderFebruary22nd,1892.

LordWindermere,Mr.GeorgeAlexander.
LordDarlington,Mr.NutcombeGould.
LordAugustusLorton,Mr.H.H.Vincent.
Mr.CecilGraham,Mr.BenWebster.
Mr.Dumby,Mr.VaneTempest.
Mr.Hopper,Mr.AlfredHolles.
Parker(Butler),Mr.V.Sansbury.
LadyWindermere,MissLilyHanbury.
TheDuchessofBerwick,MissFannyColeman.
LadyAgathaCarlisle,MissLauraGraves.
LadyPlymdale,MissGranville.
LadyJedburgh,MissB.Page.
LadyStutfield,MissMadgeGirdlestone.
Mrs.CowperCowper,MissA.deWinton.
Mrs.Erlynne,MissMarionTerry.
Rosalie(Maid),MissWinifredDolan.
FIRSTACT

SCENE

MorningroomofLordWindermereshouseinCarltonHouseTerrace.DoorsC.andR.
BureauwithbooksandpapersR.SofawithsmallteatableL.Windowopeningonto
terraceL.TableR.

[LADYWINDERMEREisattableR.,arrangingrosesinabluebowl.]

[EnterPARKER.]

PARKER.Isyourladyshipathomethisafternoon?

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes whohascalled?

PARKER.LordDarlington,mylady.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Hesitatesforamoment.]ShowhimupandImathometo
anyonewhocalls.

PARKER.Yes,mylady.

[ExitC.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Itsbestformetoseehimbeforetonight.Imgladhescome.

[EnterPARKERC.]

PARKER.LordDarlington,

[EnterLORDDARLINGTONC.]

[ExitPARKER.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Howdoyoudo,LadyWindermere?

LADYWINDERMERE.Howdoyoudo,LordDarlington?No,Icantshakehands
withyou.Myhandsareallwetwiththeseroses.Arenttheylovely?Theycameup
fromSelbythismorning.

LORDDARLINGTON.Theyarequiteperfect.[Seesafanlyingonthetable.]And
whatawonderfulfan!MayIlookatit?
LADYWINDERMERE.Do.Pretty,isntit!Itsgotmynameonit,andeverything.I
haveonlyjustseenitmyself.Itsmyhusbandsbirthdaypresenttome.Youknowto
dayismybirthday?

LORDDARLINGTON.No?Isitreally?

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes,Imofagetoday.Quiteanimportantdayinmylife,isnt
it?ThatiswhyIamgivingthispartytonight.Dositdown.[Stillarrangingflowers.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[Sittingdown.]IwishIhadknownitwasyourbirthday,Lady
Windermere.Iwouldhavecoveredthewholestreetinfrontofyourhousewithflowers
foryoutowalkon.Theyaremadeforyou.[Ashortpause.]

LADYWINDERMERE.LordDarlington,youannoyedmelastnightattheForeign
Office.Iamafraidyouaregoingtoannoymeagain.

LORDDARLINGTON.I,LadyWindermere?

[EnterPARKERandFOOTMANC.,withtrayandteathings.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Putitthere,Parker.Thatwilldo.[Wipesherhandswithher
pockethandkerchief,goestoteatable,andsitsdown.]Wontyoucomeover,Lord
Darlington?

[ExitPARKERC.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[TakeschairandgoesacrossL.C.]Iamquitemiserable,Lady
Windermere.YoumusttellmewhatIdid.[SitsdownattableL.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Well,youkeptpayingmeelaboratecomplimentsthewhole
evening.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Smiling.]Ah,nowadaysweareallofussohardup,thatthe
onlypleasantthingstopayarecompliments.Theyretheonlythingswecanpay.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Shakingherhead.]No,Iamtalkingveryseriously.You
mustntlaugh,Iamquiteserious.Idontlikecompliments,andIdontseewhyaman
shouldthinkheispleasingawomanenormouslywhenhesaystoherawholeheapof
thingsthathedoesntmean.

LORDDARLINGTON.Ah,butIdidmeanthem.[Takesteawhichsheoffershim.]

LADYWINDERMERE.[Gravely.]Ihopenot.Ishouldbesorrytohavetoquarrel
withyou,LordDarlington.I likeyouverymuch,youknowthat.ButIshouldntlike
youatallifIthoughtyouwerewhatmostothermenare.Believeme,youarebetterthan
mostothermen,andIsometimesthinkyoupretendtobeworse.
LORDDARLINGTON.Weallhaveourlittlevanities,LadyWindermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whydoyoumakethatyourspecialone?[Stillseatedattable
L.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[StillseatedL.C.]Oh,nowadayssomanyconceitedpeoplego
aboutSocietypretendingtobegood,thatIthinkitshowsratherasweetandmodest
dispositiontopretendtobebad.Besides,thereisthistobesaid.Ifyoupretendtobe
good,theworldtakesyouveryseriously.Ifyoupretendtobebad,itdoesnt.Suchisthe
astoundingstupidityofoptimism.

LADYWINDERMERE.Dontyouwanttheworldtotakeyouseriouslythen,Lord
Darlington?

LORDDARLINGTON.No,nottheworld.Whoarethepeopletheworldtakes
seriously?Allthedullpeopleonecanthinkof,fromtheBishopsdowntothebores.I
shouldlikeyoutotakemeveryseriously,LadyWindermere,youmorethananyoneelse
inlife.

LADYWINDERMERE.Why whyme?

LORDDARLINGTON.[Afteraslighthesitation.]BecauseIthinkwemightbegreat
friends.Letusbegreatfriends.Youmaywantafriendsomeday.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whydoyousaythat?

LORDDARLINGTON.Oh! weallwantfriendsattimes.

LADYWINDERMERE.Ithinkwereverygoodfriendsalready,LordDarlington.We
canalwaysremainsoaslongasyoudont

LORDDARLINGTON.Dontwhat?

LADYWINDERMERE.Dontspoilitbysayingextravagantsillythingstome.You
thinkIamaPuritan,Isuppose?Well,IhavesomethingofthePuritaninme.Iwas
broughtuplikethat.Iamgladofit.MymotherdiedwhenIwasamerechild.Ilived
alwayswithLadyJulia,myfatherseldersister,youknow.Shewassterntome,butshe
taughtmewhattheworldisforgetting,thedifferencethatthereisbetweenwhatisright
andwhatiswrong.Sheallowedofnocompromise.Iallowofnone.

LORDDARLINGTON.MydearLadyWindermere!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Leaningbackonthesofa.]Youlookonmeasbeingbehind
theage. Well,Iam!Ishouldbesorrytobeonthesamelevelasanagelikethis.
LORDDARLINGTON.Youthinktheageverybad?

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.Nowadayspeopleseemtolookonlifeasaspeculation.
Itisnotaspeculation.Itisasacrament.ItsidealisLove.Itspurificationissacrifice.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Smiling.]Oh,anythingisbetterthanbeingsacrificed!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Leaningforward.]Dontsaythat.

LORDDARLINGTON.Idosayit.IfeelitIknowit.

[EnterPARKERC.]

PARKER.Themenwanttoknowiftheyaretoputthecarpetsontheterraceforto
night,mylady?

LADYWINDERMERE.Youdontthinkitwillrain,LordDarlington,doyou?

LORDDARLINGTON.Iwonthearofitsrainingonyourbirthday!

LADYWINDERMERE.Tellthemtodoitatonce,Parker.

[ExitPARKERC.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[Stillseated.]Doyouthinkthen ofcourseIamonlyputting
animaginaryinstancedoyouthinkthatinthecaseofayoungmarriedcouple,sayabout
twoyearsmarried,ifthehusbandsuddenlybecomestheintimatefriendofawomanof
well,morethandoubtfulcharacterisalwayscallinguponher,lunchingwithher,and
probablypayingherbillsdoyouthinkthatthewifeshouldnotconsoleherself?

LADYWINDERMERE.[Frowning]Consoleherself?

LORDDARLINGTON.Yes,IthinksheshouldIthinkshehastheright.

LADYWINDERMERE.Becausethehusbandisvileshouldthewifebevilealso?

LORDDARLINGTON.Vilenessisaterribleword,LadyWindermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Itisaterriblething,LordDarlington.

LORDDARLINGTON.DoyouknowIamafraidthatgoodpeopledoagreatdealof
harminthisworld.Certainlythegreatestharmtheydoisthattheymakebadnessofsuch
extraordinaryimportance.Itisabsurdtodividepeopleintogoodandbad.Peopleare
eithercharmingortedious.Itakethesideofthecharming,andyou,LadyWindermere,
canthelpbelongingtothem.
LADYWINDERMERE.Now,LordDarlington.[RisingandcrossingR.,frontofhim.]
Dontstir,Iammerelygoingtofinishmyflowers.[GoestotableR.C.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[Risingandmovingchair.]AndImustsayIthinkyouarevery
hardonmodernlife,LadyWindermere.Ofcoursethereismuchagainstit,Iadmit.
Mostwomen,forinstance,nowadays,arerathermercenary.

LADYWINDERMERE.Donttalkaboutsuchpeople.

LORDDARLINGTON.Wellthen,settingasidemercenarypeople,who,ofcourse,are
dreadful,doyouthinkseriouslythatwomenwhohavecommittedwhattheworldcallsa
faultshouldneverbeforgiven?

LADYWINDERMERE.[Standingattable.]Ithinktheyshouldneverbeforgiven.

LORDDARLINGTON.Andmen?Doyouthinkthatthereshouldbethesamelawsfor
menasthereareforwomen?

LADYWINDERMERE.Certainly!

LORDDARLINGTON.Ithinklifetoocomplexathingtobesettledbythesehardand
fastrules.

LADYWINDERMERE.Ifwehadthesehardandfastrules,weshouldfindlifemuch
moresimple.

LORDDARLINGTON.Youallowofnoexceptions?

LADYWINDERMERE.None!

LORDDARLINGTON.Ah,whatafascinatingPuritanyouare,LadyWindermere!

LADYWINDERMERE.Theadjectivewasunnecessary,LordDarlington.

LORDDARLINGTON.Icouldnthelpit.Icanresisteverythingexcepttemptation.

LADYWINDERMERE.Youhavethemodernaffectationofweakness.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Lookingather.]Itsonlyanaffectation,LadyWindermere.

[EnterPARKERC.]

PARKER.TheDuchessofBerwickandLadyAgathaCarlisle.

[EntertheDUCHESSOFBERWICKandLADYAGATHACARLISLEC.]
[ExitPARKERC.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[ComingdownC.,andshakinghands.]DearMargaret,I
amsopleasedtoseeyou.YourememberAgatha,dontyou?[CrossingL.C.]Howdo
youdo,LordDarlington?Iwontletyouknowmydaughter,youarefartoowicked.

LORDDARLINGTON.Dontsaythat,Duchess.AsawickedmanIamacomplete
failure.Why,therearelotsofpeoplewhosayIhaveneverreallydoneanythingwrong
inthewholecourseofmylife.Ofcoursetheyonlysayitbehindmyback.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Isnthedreadful?Agatha,thisisLordDarlington.Mind
youdontbelieveawordhesays.[LORDDARLINGTONcrossesR.C.]No,notea,
thankyou,dear.[Crossesandsitsonsofa.]WehavejusthadteaatLadyMarkbys.
Suchbadtea,too.Itwasquiteundrinkable.Iwasntatallsurprised.Herownsonin
lawsuppliesit.Agathaislookingforwardsomuchtoyourballtonight,dearMargaret.

LADYWINDERMERE.[SeatedL.C.]Oh,youmustntthinkitisgoingtobeaball,
Duchess.Itisonlyadanceinhonourofmybirthday.Asmallandearly.

LORDDARLINGTON.[StandingL.C.]Verysmall,veryearly,andveryselect,
Duchess.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[OnsofaL.]Ofcourseitsgoingtobeselect.Butweknow
that,dearMargaret,aboutyourhouse.ItisreallyoneofthefewhousesinLondonwhere
IcantakeAgatha,andwhereIfeelperfectlysecureaboutdearBerwick.Idontknow
whatsocietyiscomingto.Themostdreadfulpeopleseemtogoeverywhere.They
certainlycometomypartiesthemengetquitefuriousifonedoesntaskthem.Really,
someoneshouldmakeastandagainstit.

LADYWINDERMERE.Iwill,Duchess.Iwillhavenooneinmyhouseaboutwhom
thereisanyscandal.

LORDDARLINGTON.[R.C.]Oh,dontsaythat,LadyWindermere.Ishouldneverbe
admitted![Sitting.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Oh,mendontmatter.Withwomenitisdifferent. Were
good.Someofusare,atleast.Butwearepositivelygettingelbowedintothecorner.
Ourhusbandswouldreallyforgetourexistenceifwedidntnagatthemfromtimeto
time,justtoremindthemthatwehaveaperfectlegalrighttodoso.

LORDDARLINGTON.Itsacuriousthing,Duchess,aboutthegameofmarriagea
game,bytheway,thatisgoingoutoffashion thewivesholdallthehonours,and
invariablylosetheoddtrick.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Theoddtrick?Isthatthehusband,LordDarlington?
LORDDARLINGTON.Itwouldberatheragoodnameforthemodernhusband.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.DearLordDarlington,howthoroughlydepravedyouare!

LADYWINDERMERE.LordDarlingtonistrivial.

LORDDARLINGTON.Ah,dontsaythat,Lady Windermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whydoyoutalksotriviallyaboutlife,then?

LORDDARLINGTON.BecauseIthinkthatlifeisfartooimportantathingevertotalk
seriouslyaboutit.[MovesupC.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Whatdoeshemean?Do,asaconcessiontomypoorwits,
LordDarlington,justexplaintomewhatyoureallymean.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Comingdownbackoftable.]IthinkIhadbetternot,Duchess.
Nowadaystobeintelligibleistobefoundout.Goodbye![Shakeshandswith
DUCHESS.] Andnow [goesupstage]LadyWindermere,goodbye.Imaycometo
night,mayntI?Doletmecome.

LADYWINDERMERE.[StandingupstagewithLORDDARLINGTON.]Yes,
certainly.Butyouarenottosayfoolish,insincerethingstopeople.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Smiling.]Ah!youarebeginningtoreformme.Itisa
dangerousthingtoreformanyone,LadyWindermere.[Bows,andexitC.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Whohasrisen,goesC.]Whatacharming,wicked
creature!Ilikehimsomuch.Imquitedelightedhesgone!Howsweetyourelooking!
Wheredoyougetyourgowns?AndnowImusttellyouhowsorryIamforyou,dear
Margaret.[CrossestosofaandsitswithLADYWINDERMERE.]Agatha,darling!

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.[Rises.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.WillyougoandlookoverthephotographalbumthatIsee
there?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.[GoestotableupL.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Deargirl!SheissofondofphotographsofSwitzerland.
Suchapuretaste,Ithink.ButIreallyamsosorry foryou,Margaret

LADYWINDERMERE.[Smiling.]Why,Duchess?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Oh,onaccountofthathorridwoman.Shedressessowell,
too,whichmakesitmuchworse,setssuchadreadfulexample.Augustusyouknowmy
disreputablebrothersuchatrialtousall well,Augustusiscompletelyinfatuatedabout
her.Itisquitescandalous,forsheisabsolutelyinadmissibleintosociety.Manya
womanhasapast,butIamtoldthatshehasatleastadozen,andthattheyallfit.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whomareyoutalkingabout,Duchess?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.AboutMrs.Erlynne.

LADYWINDERMERE.Mrs.Erlynne?Ineverheardofher,Duchess.Andwhathas
shetodowithme?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Mypoorchild!Agatha,darling!

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Willyougooutontheterraceandlookatthesunset?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.[Exitthroughwindow,L.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Sweetgirl!Sodevotedtosunsets!Showssuchrefinement
offeeling,doesitnot?Afterall,thereisnothinglikeNature,isthere?

LADYWINDERMERE.Butwhatisit,Duchess?Whydoyoutalktomeaboutthis
person?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Dontyoureallyknow?Iassureyouwereallsodistressed
aboutit.OnlylastnightatdearLadyJansenseveryonewassayinghowextraordinaryit
wasthat,ofallmeninLondon,Windermereshouldbehaveinsuchaway.

LADYWINDERMERE.Myhusbandwhathashegottodowithanywomanofthat
kind?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Ah,whatindeed,dear?Thatisthepoint.Hegoestosee
hercontinually,andstopsforhoursatatime,andwhileheistheresheisnotathometo
anyone.Notthatmanyladiescallonher,dear,butshehasagreatmanydisreputable
menfriendsmyownbrotherparticularly,asItoldyouandthatiswhatmakesitso
dreadfulaboutWindermere.Welookeduponhimasbeingsuchamodelhusband,butI
amafraidthereisnodoubtaboutit.MydearniecesyouknowtheSavillegirls,dont
you? suchnicedomesticcreaturesplain,dreadfullyplain,butsogood well,theyre
alwaysatthewindowdoingfancywork,andmakinguglythingsforthepoor,whichI
thinksousefuloftheminthesedreadfulsocialisticdays,andthisterriblewomanhas
takenahouseinCurzonStreet,rightoppositethem sucharespectablestreet,too!I
dontknowwhatwerecomingto!AndtheytellmethatWindermeregoestherefour
andfivetimesaweek theyseehim.Theycanthelpitandalthoughtheynevertalk
scandal,they well,ofcourse theyremarkonittoeveryone.Andtheworstofitallis
thatIhavebeentoldthatthiswomanhasgotagreatdealofmoneyoutofsomebody,for
itseemsthatshecametoLondonsixmonthsagowithoutanythingatalltospeakof,and
nowshehasthischarminghouseinMayfair,drivesherponiesintheParkevery
afternoonandall well,all sinceshehasknownpoordearWindermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Oh,Icantbelieveit!

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Butitsquitetrue,mydear.ThewholeofLondonknowsit.
ThatiswhyIfeltitwasbettertocomeandtalktoyou,andadviseyoutotake
WindermereawayatoncetoHomburgortoAix,wherehellhavesomethingtoamuse
him,andwhereyoucanwatchhimalldaylong.Iassureyou,mydear,thatonseveral
occasionsafterIwasfirstmarried,Ihadtopretendtobeveryill,andwasobligedto
drinkthemostunpleasantmineralwaters,merelytogetBerwickoutoftown.Hewasso
extremelysusceptible.ThoughIamboundtosayhenevergaveawayanylargesumsof
moneytoanybody.Heisfartoohighprincipledforthat!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Interrupting.]Duchess,Duchess,itsimpossible![Risingand
crossingstagetoC.]Weareonlymarriedtwoyears.Ourchildisbutsixmonthsold.
[SitsinchairR.ofL.table.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Ah,thedearprettybaby!Howisthelittledarling?Isita
boyoragirl?Ihopeagirl Ah,no,Irememberitsaboy!Imsosorry.Boysareso
wicked.Myboyisexcessivelyimmoral.Youwouldntbelieveatwhathourshecomes
home.AndhesonlyleftOxfordafewmonthsIreallydontknowwhattheyteach
themthere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Areallmenbad?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Oh,allofthem,mydear,allofthem,withoutanyexception.
Andtheynevergrowanybetter.Menbecomeold,buttheyneverbecomegood.

LADYWINDERMERE.WindermereandImarriedforlove.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Yes,webeginlikethat.ItwasonlyBerwicksbrutaland
incessantthreatsofsuicidethatmademeaccepthimatall,andbeforetheyearwasout,
hewasrunningafterallkindsofpetticoats,everycolour,everyshape,everymaterial.In
fact,beforethehoneymoonwasover,Icaughthimwinkingatmymaid,amostpretty,
respectablegirl.Idismissedheratoncewithoutacharacter. No,IrememberIpassed
herontomysisterpoordearSirGeorgeissoshortsighted,Ithoughtitwouldntmatter.
Butitdid,though itwasmostunfortunate.[Rises.]Andnow,mydearchild,Imustgo,
aswearediningout.AndmindyoudonttakethislittleaberrationofWindermerestoo
muchtoheart.Justtakehimabroad,andhellcomebacktoyouallright.

LADYWINDERMERE.Comebacktome?[C.]
DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[L.C.]Yes,dear,thesewickedwomengetourhusbands
awayfromus,buttheyalwayscomeback,slightlydamaged,ofcourse.Anddontmake
scenes,menhatethem!

LADYWINDERMERE.Itisverykindofyou,Duchess,tocomeandtellmeallthis.
ButIcantbelievethatmyhusbandisuntruetome.

DUCHESSOF BERWICK.Prettychild!Iwaslikethatonce.NowIknowthatallmen
aremonsters.[LADYWINDERMEREringsbell.]Theonlythingtodoistofeedthe
wretcheswell.Agoodcookdoeswonders,andthatIknowyouhave.Mydear
Margaret,youarenotgoingtocry?

LADYWINDERMERE.Youneedntbeafraid,Duchess,Inevercry.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Thatsquiteright,dear.Cryingistherefugeofplain
womenbuttheruinofprettyones.Agatha,darling!

LADYAGATHA.[EnteringL.]Yes,mamma.[StandsbackoftableL.C.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.ComeandbidgoodbyetoLadyWindermere,andthankher
foryourcharmingvisit.[Comingdownagain.]Andbytheway,Imustthankyoufor
sendingacardtoMr.Hopper hesthatrichyoungAustralianpeoplearetakingsuch
noticeofjustatpresent.Hisfathermadeagreatfortunebysellingsomekindoffoodin
circulartinsmostpalatable,IbelieveIfancyitisthethingtheservantsalwaysrefuse
toeat.Butthesonisquiteinteresting.IthinkhesattractedbydearAgathasclevertalk.
Ofcourse,weshouldbeverysorrytoloseher,butIthinkthatamotherwhodoesntpart
withadaughtereveryseasonhasnorealaffection.Werecomingtonight,dear.
[PARKERopensC.doors.]Andremembermyadvice,takethepoorfellowoutoftown
atonce,itistheonlythingtodo.Goodbye,oncemorecome,Agatha.

[ExeuntDUCHESSandLADYAGATHAC.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Howhorrible!IunderstandnowwhatLordDarlingtonmeant
bytheimaginaryinstanceofthecouplenottwoyearsmarried.Oh!itcantbetrue she
spokeofenormoussumsofmoneypaidtothiswoman.IknowwhereArthurkeepshis
bankbook inoneofthedrawersofthatdesk.Imightfindoutbythat.Iwillfindout.
[Opensdrawer.]No,itissomehideousmistake.[RisesandgoesC.]Somesilly
scandal!Helovesme!Helovesme!ButwhyshouldInotlook?Iamhiswife,Ihavea
righttolook![Returnstobureau,takesoutbookandexaminesitpagebypage,smiles
andgivesasighofrelief.]Iknewit!thereisnotawordoftruthinthisstupidstory.
[Putsbookbackindranver.Asthedoesso,startsandtakesoutanotherbook.]Asecond
book privatelocked![Triestoopenit,butfails.Seespaperknifeonbureau,andwith
itcutscoverfrombook.Beginstostartatthefirstpage.]Mrs.Erlynne600 Mrs.
Erlynne700Mrs.Erlynne400.Oh!itistrue!Itistrue!Howhorrible![Throws
bookonfloor.][EnterLORDWINDERMEREC.]
LORDWINDERMERE.Well,dear,hasthefanbeensenthomeyet?[GoingR.C.Sees
book.]Margaret,youhavecutopenmybankbook.Youhavenorighttodosucha
thing!

LADYWINDERMERE.Youthinkitwrongthatyouarefoundout,dontyou?

LORDWINDERMERE.Ithinkitwrongthatawifeshouldspyonherhusband.

LADYWINDERMERE.Ididnotspyonyou.Ineverknewofthiswomansexistence
tillhalfanhourago.Someonewhopitiedmewaskindenoughtotellmewhateveryone
inLondonknowsalready yourdailyvisitstoCurzonStreet,yourmadinfatuation,the
monstroussumsofmoneyyousquanderonthisinfamouswoman![CrossingL.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret!donttalklikethatofMrs.Erlynne,youdontknow
howunjustitis!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Turningtohim.]YouareveryjealousofMrs.Erlynnes
honour.Iwishyouhadbeenasjealousofmine.

LORDWINDERMERE.Yourhonourisuntouched,Margaret.Youdontthinkfora
momentthat[Putsbookbackintodesk.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Ithinkthatyouspendyourmoneystrangely.Thatisall.Oh,
dontimagineImindaboutthemoney.AsfarasIamconcerned,youmaysquander
everythingwehave.ButwhatIdomindisthatyouwhohavelovedme,youwhohave
taughtmetoloveyou,shouldpassfromthelovethatisgiventothelovethatisbought.
Oh,itshorrible![Sitsonsofa.]AnditisIwhofeeldegraded!youdontfeelanything.
Ifeelstained,utterlystained.Youcantrealisehowhideousthelastsixmonthsseemsto
menow everykissyouhavegivenmeistaintedinmymemory.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Crossingtoher.]Dontsaythat,Margaret.Ineverlovedany
oneinthewholeworldbutyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Rises.]Whoisthiswoman,then?Whydoyoutakeahouse
forher?

LORDWINDERMERE.Ididnottakeahouseforher.

LADYWINDERMERE.Yougaveherthemoneytodoit,whichisthesamething.

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,asfarasIhaveknownMrs.Erlynne

LADYWINDERMERE.IsthereaMr.Erlynne orisheamyth?

LORDWINDERMERE.Herhusbanddiedmanyyearsago.Sheisaloneintheworld.
LADYWINDERMERE.Norelations?[Apause.]

LORDWINDERMERE.None.

LADYWINDERMERE.Rathercurious,isntit?[L.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[L.C.]Margaret,IwassayingtoyouandIbegyoutolisten
tomethatasfarasIhaveknownMrs.Erlynne,shehasconductedherselfwell.Ifyears
ago

LADYWINDERMERE.Oh![CrossingR.C.]Idontwantdetailsaboutherlife!

LORDWINDERMERE.[C.]Iamnotgoingtogiveyouanydetailsaboutherlife.Itell
yousimplythisMrs.Erlynnewasoncehonoured,loved,respected.Shewaswellborn,
shehadposition shelosteverythingthrewitaway,ifyoulike.Thatmakesitallthe
morebitter.Misfortunesonecanendure theycomefromoutside,theyareaccidents.
Buttosufferforonesownfaultsah! thereisthestingoflife.Itwastwentyyearsago,
too.Shewaslittlemorethanagirlthen.Shehadbeenawifeforevenlesstimethanyou
have.

LADYWINDERMERE.Iam notinterestedinher andyoushouldnotmentionthis

womanandmeinthesamebreath.Itisanerroroftaste.[SittingR.atdesk.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,youcouldsavethiswoman.Shewantstogetback
intosociety,andshewantsyoutohelpher.[Crossingtoher.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Me!

LORDWINDERMERE.Yes,you.

LADYWINDERMERE.Howimpertinentofher![Apause.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,Icametoaskyouagreatfavour,andIstillaskitof
you,thoughyouhavediscoveredwhatIhadintendedyoushouldneverhaveknownthatI
havegivenMrs.Erlynnealargesumofmoney.Iwantyoutosendheraninvitationfor
ourpartytonight.[StandingL.ofher.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Youaremad![Rises.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Ientreatyou.Peoplemaychatterabouther,dochatterabout
her,ofcourse,buttheydontknowanythingdefiniteagainsther.Shehasbeentoseveral
housesnottohouseswhereyouwouldgo,Iadmit,butstilltohouseswherewomen
whoareinwhatiscalledSocietynowadaysdogo.Thatdoesnotcontenther.Shewants
youtoreceiveheronce.

LADYWINDERMERE.Asatriumphforher,Isuppose?
LORDWINDERMERE.Nobutbecausesheknowsthatyouareagoodwoman and
thatifshecomeshereonceshewillhaveachanceofahappier,asurerlifethanshehas
had.Shewillmakenofurtherefforttoknowyou.Wontyouhelpawomanwhois
tryingtogetback?

LADYWINDERMERE.No!Ifawomanreallyrepents,sheneverwishestoreturnto
thesocietythathasmadeorseenherruin.

LORDWINDERMERE.Ibegofyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.[CrossingtodoorR.]Iamgoingtodressfordinner,anddont
mentionthesubjectagainthisevening.Arthur[goingtohimC.],youfancybecauseI
havenofatherormotherthatI amaloneintheworld,andthatyoucantreatmeasyou
choose.Youarewrong,Ihavefriends,manyfriends.

LORDWINDERMERE.[L.C.]Margaret,youaretalkingfoolishly,recklessly.Iwont
arguewithyou,butIinsistuponyouraskingMrs.Erlynnetonight.

LADYWINDERMERE.[R.C.]Ishalldonothingofthekind.[CrossingL.C.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Yourefuse?[C.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Absolutely!

LORDWINDERMERE.Ah,Margaret,dothisformysakeitisherlastchance.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whathasthattodowithme?

LORDWINDERMERE.Howhardgoodwomenare!

LADYWINDERMERE.Howweakbadmenare!

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,noneofusmenmaybegoodenoughforthewomen
wemarry thatisquitetrue butyoudontimagineIwouldever oh, thesuggestionis
monstrous!

LADYWINDERMERE.Whyshouldyoubedifferentfromothermen?Iamtoldthat
thereishardlyahusbandinLondonwhodoesnotwastehislifeoversomeshameful
passion.

LORDWINDERMERE.Iamnotoneofthem.

LADYWINDERMERE.Iamnotsureofthat!
LORDWINDERMERE.Youaresureinyourheart.Butdontmakechasmafterchasm
betweenus.Godknowsthelastfewminuteshavethrustuswideenoughapart.Sitdown
andwritethecard.

LADYWINDERMERE.Nothinginthewholeworldwouldinduceme.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Crossingtobureau.]ThenIwill![Ringselectricbell,sitsand
writescard.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Youaregoingtoinvitethiswoman?[Crossingtohim.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Yes.[Pause.EnterPARKER.]Parker!

PARKER.Yes,mylord.[ComesdownL.C.]

LORDWINDERMERE.HavethisnotesenttoMrs.ErlynneatNo.84ACurzonStreet.
[CrossingtoL.C.andgivingnotetoPARKER.]Thereisnoanswer!

[ExitPARKERC.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Arthur,ifthatwomancomeshere,Ishallinsulther.

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,dontsaythat.

LADYWINDERMERE.Imeanit.

LORDWINDERMERE.Child,ifyoudidsuchathing,theresnotawomaninLondon
whowouldntpityyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.Thereisnotagoodwomanin Londonwhowouldnotapplaud
me.Wehavebeentoolax.Wemustmakeanexample.Iproposetobegintonight.
[Pickingupfan.]Yes,yougavemethisfantodayitwasyourbirthdaypresent.Ifthat
womancrossesmythreshold,Ishallstrikeheracrossthefacewithit.

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,youcouldntdosuchathing.

LADYWINDERMERE.Youdontknowme![MovesR.]

[EnterPARKER.]

Parker!

PARKER.Yes,mylady.

LADYWINDERMERE.Ishalldineinmyownroom.Idontwantdinner,infact.See
thateverythingisreadybyhalfpastten.And,Parker,besureyoupronouncethenames
oftheguestsverydistinctlytonight.SometimesyouspeaksofastthatImissthem.Iam
particularlyanxioustohearthenamesquiteclearly,soastomakenomistake.You
understand,Parker?

PARKER.Yes,mylady.

LADYWINDERMERE.Thatwilldo!

[ExitPARKERC.]

[SpeakingtoLORDWINDERMERE]Arthur,ifthatwomancomeshereIwarnyou

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,youllruinus!

LADYWINDERMERE. Us!Fromthismomentmylifeisseparatefromyours.Butif
youwishtoavoidapublicscandal,writeatoncetothiswoman,andtellherthatIforbid
hertocomehere!

LORDWINDERMERE.Iwillnot Icannotshemustcome!

LADYWINDERMERE.Then IshalldoexactlyasIhavesaid.[GoesR.]Youleave
menochoice.[ExitR.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[Callingafterher.]Margaret!Margaret![Apause.]MyGod!
WhatshallIdo?Idarenottellherwhothiswomanreallyis.Theshamewouldkillher.
[Sinksdownintoachairandburieshisfaceinhishands.]

ACTDROP
SECONDACT

SCENE

DrawingroominLordWindermereshouse.DoorR.U.openingintoballroom,where
bandisplaying.DoorL.throughwhichguestsareentering.DoorL.U.openson to
illuminatedterrace.Palms,flowers,andbrilliantlights.Roomcrowdedwithguests.
LadyWindermereisreceivingthem.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[UpC.]SostrangeLordWindermereisnthere.Mr.
Hopperisverylate,too.Youhavekeptthosefivedancesforhim,Agatha?[Comes
down.]

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Sittingonsofa.]Justletmeseeyourcard.Imsoglad
LadyWindermerehasrevivedcards. Theyreamothersonlysafeguard.Youdear
simplelittlething![Scratchesouttwonames.]Nonicegirlshouldeverwaltzwithsuch
particularlyyoungersons!Itlookssofast!Thelasttwodancesyoumightpassonthe
terracewithMr.Hopper.

[EnterMR.DUMBYandLADYPLYMDALEfromtheballroom.]

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Fanningherself.]Theairissopleasantthere.

PARKER.Mrs.CowperCowper.LadyStutfield.SirJamesRoyston.Mr.Guy
Berkeley.

[Thesepeopleenterasannounced.]

DUMBY.Goodevening,LadyStutfield.Isupposethiswillbethelastballofthe
season?

LADYSTUTFIELD.Isupposeso,Mr.Dumby.Itsbeenadelightfulseason,hasntit?

DUMBY.Quitedelightful!Goodevening,Duchess.Isupposethiswillbethelastball
oftheseason?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Isupposeso,Mr.Dumby.Ithasbeenaverydullseason,
hasntit?

DUMBY.Dreadfullydull!Dreadfullydull!
MR.COWPERCOWPER.Goodevening,Mr.Dumby.Isupposethiswillbethelast
balloftheseason?

DUMBY.Oh,Ithinknot.Therellprobablybetwomore.[WandersbacktoLADY
PLYMDALE.]

PARKER.Mr.Rufford.LadyJedburghandMissGraham.Mr.Hopper.

[Thesepeopleenterasannounced.]

HOPPER.Howdoyoudo,LadyWindermere?Howdoyoudo,Duchess?[Bowsto
LADYAGATHA.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.DearMr.Hopper,howniceofyoutocomesoearly.Weall
knowhowyouarerunafterinLondon.

HOPPER.Capitalplace,London!TheyarenotnearlysoexclusiveinLondonasthey
areinSydney.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Ah!weknowyourvalue,Mr.Hopper.Wewishtherewere
morelikeyou.Itwouldmakelifesomucheasier.Doyouknow,Mr.Hopper,dear
AgathaandIaresomuchinterestedinAustralia.Itmustbesoprettywithallthedear
littlekangaroosflyingabout.Agathahasfounditonthemap.Whatacuriousshapeitis!
Justlikealargepackingcase.However,itisaveryyoungcountry,isntit?

HOPPER.Wasntitmadeatthesametimeastheothers,Duchess?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Howcleveryouare,Mr.Hopper.Youhaveacleverness
quite ofyourown.NowImustntkeepyou.

HOPPER.ButIshouldliketodancewithLadyAgatha,Duchess.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Well,Ihopeshehasadanceleft.Haveyouadanceleft,
Agatha?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Thenextone?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

HOPPER.MayIhavethepleasure?[LADYAGATHAbows.]

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Mindyoutakegreatcareofmylittlechatterbox,Mr.
Hopper.
[LADYAGATHAandMR.HOPPERpassintoballroom.]

[EnterLORDWINDERMERE.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Margaret,Iwanttospeaktoyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.Inamoment.[Themusicdrops.]

PARKER.LordAugustusLorton.

[EnterLORDAUGUSTUS.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Goodevening,LadyWindermere.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.SirJames,willyoutakemeintotheballroom?Augustus
hasbeendiningwithustonight.IreallyhavehadquiteenoughofdearAugustusforthe
moment.

[SIRJAMESROYSTONgivestheDUCHESShisaimandescortsherintotheball
room.]

PARKER.Mr.andMrs.ArthurBowden.LordandLadyPaisley.LordDarlington.

[Thesepeopleenterasannounced.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.[CominguptoLORDWINDERMERE.]Wanttospeaktoyou
particularly,dearboy.Imworntoashadow.KnowIdontlookit.Noneofusmendo
lookwhatwereallyare.Demmedgoodthing,too.WhatIwanttoknowisthis.Whois
she?Wheredoesshecomefrom?Whyhasntshegotanydemmedrelations?Demmed
nuisance,relations!Buttheymakeonesodemmedrespectable.

LORDWINDERMERE.YouaretalkingofMrs.Erlynne,Isuppose?Ionlymethersix
monthsago.Tillthen,Ineverknewofherexistence.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Youhaveseenagooddealofhersincethen.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Coldly.]Yes,Ihaveseenagooddealofhersincethen.I
havejustseenher.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Egad!thewomenareverydownonher.Ihavebeendiningwith
Arabellathisevening!ByJove!youshouldhaveheardwhatshesaidaboutMrs.
Erlynne.Shedidntleavearagonher...[Aside.]BerwickandItoldherthatdidnt
mattermuch,astheladyinquestionmusthaveanextremelyfinefigure.Youshould
haveseenArabellasexpression!...But,lookhere,dearboy.Idontknowwhattodo
aboutMrs.Erlynne.Egad!Imightbemarriedtohershetreatsmewithsuchdemmed
indifference.Shesdeucedclever,too!Sheexplainseverything.Egad!sheexplains
you.Shehasgotanyamountofexplanationsforyou andallofthemdifferent.

LORDWINDERMERE.NoexplanationsarenecessaryaboutmyfriendshipwithMrs.
Erlynne.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Hem!Well,lookhere,dearoldfellow.Doyouthinkshewillever
getintothisdemmedthingcalledSociety?Wouldyouintroducehertoyourwife?No
usebeatingabouttheconfoundedbush.Wouldyoudothat?

LORDWINDERMERE.Mrs.Erlynneiscomingheretonight.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Yourwifehassentheracard?

LORDWINDERMERE.Mrs.Erlynnehasreceivedacard.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Thenshesallright,dearboy.Butwhydidntyoutellmethat
before?Itwouldhavesavedmeaheapofworryanddemmedmisunderstandings!

[LADYAGATHAandMR.HOPPERcrossandexitonterraceL.U.E.]

PARKER.Mr.CecilGraham!

[EnterMR.CECILGRAHAM.]

CECILGRAHAM.[BowstoLADYWINDERMERE,passesoverandshakeshands
withLORDWINDERMERE.]Goodevening,Arthur.WhydontyouaskmehowIam?
IlikepeopletoaskmehowIam.Itshowsawidespreadinterestinmyhealth.Now,to
nightIamnotatallwell.Beendiningwithmypeople.Wonderwhyitisonespeople
arealwayssotedious?Myfatherwouldtalkmoralityafterdinner.Itoldhimhewasold
enoughtoknowbetter.Butmyexperienceisthatassoonaspeopleareoldenoughto
knowbetter,theydontknowanythingatall.Hallo,Tuppy!Hearyouregoingtobe
marriedagainthoughtyouweretiredofthatgame.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Youreexcessivelytrivial,mydearboy,excessivelytrivial!

CECILGRAHAM.Bytheway,Tuppy,whichisit?Haveyoubeentwicemarriedand
oncedivorced,ortwicedivorcedandoncemarried?Isayyouvebeentwicedivorced
andoncemarried.Itseemssomuchmoreprobable.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Ihaveaverybadmemory.Ireallydontrememberwhich.
[MovesawayR.]

LADYPLYMDALE.LordWindermere,Ivesomethingmostparticulartoaskyou.

LORDWINDERMERE.IamafraidifyouwillexcusemeImustjoinmywife.
LADYPLYMDALE.Oh,youmustntdreamofsuchathing.Itsmostdangerous
nowadaysforahusbandtopayanyattentiontohiswifeinpublic.Italwaysmakes
peoplethinkthathebeatsherwhentheyrealone.Theworldhasgrownsosuspiciousof
anythingthatlookslikeahappymarriedlife.ButIlltellyouwhatitisatsupper.
[Movestowardsdoorofballroom.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[C.]Margaret!Imustspeaktoyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.Willyouholdmyfanforme,LordDarlington?Thanks.
[Comesdowntohim.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[Crossingtoher.]Margaret,whatyousaidbeforedinnerwas,
ofcourse,impossible?

LADYWINDERMERE.Thatwomanisnotcomingheretonight!

LORDWINDERMERE.[R.C.]Mrs.Erlynneiscominghere,andifyouinanyway
annoyorwoundher,youwillbringshameandsorrowonusboth.Rememberthat!Ah,
Margaret!onlytrustme!Awifeshouldtrustherhusband!

LADYWINDERMERE.[C.]Londonisfullofwomenwhotrusttheirhusbands.One
canalwaysrecognisethem.Theylooksothoroughlyunhappy.Iamnotgoingtobeone
ofthem.[Movesup.]LordDarlington,willyougivemebackmyfan,please?Thanks..
..Ausefulthingafan,isntit?...Iwantafriendtonight,LordDarlington:Ididnt
knowIwouldwantonesosoon.

LORDDARLINGTON.LadyWindermere!Iknewthetimewouldcomesomedaybut
whytonight?

LORDWINDERMERE.Iwilltellher.Imust.Itwouldbeterribleiftherewereany
scene.Margaret...

PARKER.Mrs.Erlynne!

[LORDWINDERMEREstarts.MRS.ERLYNNEenters,verybeautifullydressedand
verydignified.LADYWINDERMEREclutchesatherfan,thenletsitdroponthedoor.
ShebowscoldlytoMRS.ERLYNNE,whobowstohersweetlyinturn,andsailsintothe
room.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Youhavedroppedyourfan,LadyWindermere.[Picksitup
andhandsittoher.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[C.]Howdoyoudo,again,LordWindermere?Howcharmingyour
sweetwifelooks!Quiteapicture!
LORDWINDERMERE.[Inalowvoice.]Itwasterriblyrashofyoutocome!

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Smiling.]ThewisestthingIeverdidinmylife.And,bytheway,
youmustpaymeagooddealofattentionthisevening.Iamafraidofthewomen.You
mustintroducemetosomeofthem.ThemenIcanalwaysmanage.Howdoyoudo,
LordAugustus?Youhavequiteneglectedmelately.Ihavenotseenyousince
yesterday.Iamafraidyourefaithless.Everyonetoldmeso.

LORDAUGUSTUS.[R.]Nowreally,Mrs.Erlynne,allowmetoexplain.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[R.C.]No,dearLordAugustus,youcantexplainanything.Itis
yourchiefcharm.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Ah!ifyoufindcharmsinme,Mrs.Erlynne

[Theyconversetogether.LORDWINDERMEREmovesuneasilyabouttheroom
watchingMRS.ERLYNNE.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[ToLADYWINDERMERE.]Howpaleyouare!

LADYWINDERMERE.Cowardsarealwayspale!

LORDDARLINGTON.Youlookfaint.Comeoutontheterrace.

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.[ToPARKER.]Parker,sendmycloakout.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Crossingtoher.]LadyWindermere,howbeautifullyyourterraceis
illuminated.RemindsmeofPrinceDoriasatRome.

[LADYWINDERMEREbowscoldly,andgoesoffwithLORDDARLINGTON.]

Oh,howdoyoudo,Mr.Graham?Isntthatyouraunt,LadyJedburgh?Ishouldsomuch
liketoknowher.

CECILGRAHAM.[Afteramomentshesitationandembarrassment.]Oh,certainly,if
youwishit.AuntCaroline,allowmetointroduceMrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Sopleasedtomeetyou,LadyJedburgh. [Sitsbesideheronthesofa.]
YournephewandIaregreatfriends.Iamsomuchinterestedinhispoliticalcareer.I
thinkhessuretobeawonderfulsuccess.HethinkslikeaTory,andtalkslikeaRadical,
andthatssoimportantnowadays.Hessuchabrillianttalker,too.Butweallknow
fromwhomheinheritsthat.LordAllandalewassayingtomeonlyyesterday,inthe
Park,thatMr.Grahamtalksalmostaswellashisaunt.

LADYJEDBURGH.[R.]Mostkindofyoutosaythesecharmingthingstome![MRS.
ERLYNNEsmiles,andcontinuesconversation.]
DUMBY.[ToCECILGRAHAM.]DidyouintroduceMrs.ErlynnetoLadyJedburgh?

CECILGRAHAM.Hadto,mydearfellow.Couldnthelpit!Thatwomancanmake
onedoanythingshewants.How,Idontknow.

DUMBY.Hopetogoodnessshewontspeaktome![SaunterstowardsLADY
PLYMDALE.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[C.ToLADYJEDBURGH.]OnThursday?Withgreatpleasure.
[Rises,andspeakstoLORDWINDERMERE,laughing.]Whataboreitistohavetobe
civiltotheseolddowagers!Buttheyalwaysinsistonit!

LADYPLYMDALE.[ToMR.DUMBY.]Whoisthatwelldressedwomantalkingto
Windermere?

DUMBY.Haventgottheslightestidea!Lookslikeanditiondeluxeofawicked
Frenchnovel,meantspeciallyfortheEnglishmarket.

MRS.ERLYNNE.SothatispoorDumbywithLadyPlymdale?Ihearsheisfrightfully
jealousofhim.Hedoesntseemanxioustospeaktometonight.Isupposeheisafraid
ofher.Thosestrawcolouredwomenhavedreadfultempers.Doyouknow,IthinkIll
dancewithyoufirst,Windermere.[LORDWINDERMEREbitshislipandfrowns.]It
willmakeLordAugustussojealous!LordAugustus![LORDAUGUSTUScomes
down.]LordWindermereinsistsonmydancingwithhimfirst,and,asitshisown
house,Icantwellrefuse.YouknowIwouldmuchsoonerdancewithyou.

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Withalowbow.]IwishIcouldthinkso,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRSERLYNNE.Youknowitfartoowell.Icanfancyapersondancingthroughlife
withyouandfindingitcharming.

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Placinghishandonhiswhitewaistcoat.]Oh,thankyou,thank
you.Youarethemostadorableofallladies!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Whatanicespeech!Sosimpleandsosincere!Justthesortof
speechIlike.Well,youshallholdmybouquet.[GoestowardsballroomonLORD
WINDERMERESarm.]Ah,Mr.Dumby,howareyou?IamsosorryIhavebeenout
thelastthreetimesyouhavecalled.ComeandlunchonFriday.

DUMBY.[Withperfectnonchalance.]Delighted!

[LADYPLYMDALEglareswithindignationatMR.DUMBY.LORDAUGUSTUS
followsMRS.ERLYNNEandLORDWINDERMEREintotheballroomholding
bouquet]
LADYPLYMDALE.[ToMR.DUMBY.]Whatanabsolutebruteyouare!Inevercan
believeawordyousay!Whydidyoutellmeyoudidntknowher?Whatdoyoumean
bycallingonherthreetimesrunning?Youarenottogotolunchthereofcourseyou
understandthat?

DUMBY.MydearLaura,Iwouldntdreamofgoing!

LADYPLYMDALE.Youhaventtoldmehernameyet!Whoisshe?

DUMBY.[Coughsslightlyandsmoothshishair.]ShesaMrs.Erlynne.

LADYPLYMDALE.Thatwoman!

DUMBY.Yesthatiswhateveryonecallsher.

LADYPLYMDALE.Howveryinteresting!Howintenselyinteresting!Ireallymust
haveagoodstareather.[Goestodoorofballroomandlooksin.]Ihaveheardthemost
shockingthingsabouther.TheysaysheisruiningpoorWindermere.AndLady
Windermere,whogoesinforbeingsoproper,invitesher!Howextremelyamusing!It
takesa thoroughlygoodwomantodoathoroughlystupidthing.Youaretolunchthere
onFriday!

DUMBY.Why?

LADYPLYMDALE.BecauseIwantyoutotakemyhusbandwithyou.Hehasbeenso
attentivelately,thathehasbecomeaperfectnuisance.Now,thiswomanisjustthething
forhim.Helldanceattendanceuponheraslongassheletshim,andwontbotherme.I
assureyou,womenofthatkindaremostuseful.Theyformthebasisofotherpeoples
marriages.

DUMBY.Whatamysteryyouare!

LADYPLYMDALE.[Lookingathim.]Iwishyouwere!

DUMBY.Iam tomyself.IamtheonlypersonintheworldIshouldliketoknow
thoroughlybutIdontseeanychanceofitjustatpresent.

[Theypassintotheballroom,andLADYWINDERMEREandLORDDARLINGTON
enterfromtheterrace.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.Hercominghereismonstrous,unbearable.Iknownow
whatyoumeanttodayatteatime.Whydidntyoutellmerightout?Youshouldhave!

LORDDARLINGTON.Icouldnt!Amancanttellthesethingsaboutanotherman!
ButifIhadknownhewasgoingtomakeyouaskherheretonight,IthinkIwouldhave
toldyou.Thatinsult,atanyrate,youwouldhavebeenspared.
LADYWINDERMERE.Ididnotaskher.Heinsistedonhercomingagainstmy
entreatiesagainstmycommands.Oh!thehouseistaintedforme!Ifeelthatevery
womanheresneersatmeasshedancesbywithmyhusband.WhathaveIdoneto
deservethis?Igavehimallmylife.Hetookit useditspoiledit!Iamdegradedin
myowneyesandIlackcourage Iamacoward![Sitsdownonsofa.]

LORDDARLINGTON.IfIknowyouatall,Iknowthatyoucantlivewithamanwho
treatsyoulikethis!Whatsortoflifewouldyouhavewithhim?Youwouldfeelthathe
waslyingtoyoueverymomentoftheday.Youwouldfeelthatthelookinhiseyeswas
false,hisvoicefalse,histouchfalse,hispassionfalse.Hewouldcometoyouwhenhe
waswearyofothersyouwouldhavetocomforthim.Hewouldcometoyouwhenhe
wasdevotedtoothersyouwouldhavetocharmhim.Youwouldhavetobetohimthe
maskofhisreallife,thecloaktohidehissecret.

LADYWINDERMERE.Youarerightyouareterriblyright.ButwhereamItoturn?
Yousaidyouwouldbemyfriend,LordDarlington. Tellme,whatamItodo?Bemy
friendnow.

LORDDARLINGTON.Betweenmenandwomenthereisnofriendshippossible.There
ispassion,enmity,worship,love,butnofriendship.Iloveyou

LADYWINDERMERE.No,no![Rises.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Yes,Iloveyou!Youaremoretomethananythinginthe
wholeworld.Whatdoesyourhusbandgiveyou?Nothing.Whateverisinhimhegives
tothiswretchedwoman,whomhehasthrustintoyoursociety,intoyourhome,toshame
youbeforeeveryone. Iofferyoumylife

LADYWINDERMERE.LordDarlington!

LORDDARLINGTON.Mylifemywholelife.Takeit,anddowithitwhatyouwill..
..IloveyouloveyouasIhaveneverlovedanylivingthing.FromthemomentImet
youIlovedyou,lovedyoublindly,adoringly,madly!Youdidnotknowitthen you
knowitnow!Leavethishousetonight.Iwonttellyouthattheworldmattersnothing,
ortheworldsvoice,orthevoiceofsociety.Theymatteragreatdeal.Theymatterfar
toomuch. Buttherearemomentswhenonehastochoosebetweenlivingonesownlife,
fully,entirely,completely ordraggingoutsomefalse,shallow,degradingexistencethat
theworldinitshypocrisydemands.Youhavethatmomentnow.Choose!Oh,mylove,
choose.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Movingslowlyawayfromhim,andlookingathimwith
startledeyes.]Ihavenotthecourage.

LORDDARLINGTON.[Followingher.]Yesyouhavethecourage.Theremaybesix
monthsofpain,ofdisgraceeven,butwhenyounolongerbearhisname,whenyoubear
mine,allwillbewell.Margaret,mylove,mywifethatshallbesomeday yes,mywife!
Youknowit!Whatareyounow?Thiswomanhastheplacethatbelongsbyrightto
you.Oh!go gooutofthishouse,withheaderect,withasmileuponyourlips,with
courageinyoureyes.AllLondonwillknowwhyyoudiditandwhowillblameyou?
Noone.Iftheydo,whatmatter?Wrong?Whatiswrong?Itswrongforamanto
abandonhiswifeforashamelesswoman.Itiswrongforawifetoremainwithaman
whosodishonoursher.Yousaidonceyouwouldmakenocompromisewiththings.
Makenonenow.Bebrave!Beyourself!

LADYWINDERMERE.Iamafraidofbeingmyself.Letmethink!Letmewait!My
husbandmayreturntome.[Sitsdownonsofa.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Andyouwouldtakehimback!YouarenotwhatIthoughtyou
were.Youarejustthesameaseveryotherwoman.Youwouldstandanythingrather
thanfacethecensureofaworld,whosepraiseyouwoulddespise.Inaweekyouwillbe
drivingwiththiswomaninthePark.Shewillbeyourconstantguest yourdearest
friend.Youwouldendureanythingratherthanbreakwithoneblowthismonstroustie.
Youareright.Youhavenocouragenone!

LADYWINDERMERE.Ah,givemetimetothink.Icannotansweryounow.[Passes
herhandnervouslyoverherbrow.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Itmustbenowornotatall.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Risingfromthesofa.]Then,notatall![Apause.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Youbreakmyheart!

LADYWINDERMERE.Mineisalreadybroken.[Apause.]

LORDDARLINGTON.TomorrowIleaveEngland.ThisisthelasttimeIshallever
lookonyou.Youwillneverseemeagain.Foronemomentourlivesmet oursouls
touched.Theymustnevermeetortouchagain.Goodbye,Margaret.[Exit.]

LADYWINDERMERE.HowaloneIaminlife!Howterriblyalone!

[Themusicstops.EntertheDUCHESSOFBERWICKandLORDPAISLEYlaughing
andtalking.Otherguestscomeonfromballroom.]

DUCHESSOF BERWICK.DearMargaret,Ivejustbeenhavingsuchadelightfulchat
withMrs.Erlynne.IamsosorryforwhatIsaidtoyouthisafternoonabouther.Of
course,shemustbeallrightifyouinviteher.Amostattractivewoman,andhassuch
sensibleviewsonlife.Toldmesheentirelydisapprovedofpeoplemarryingmorethan
once,soIfeelquitesafeaboutpoorAugustus.Cantimaginewhypeoplespeakagainst
her.ItsthosehorridniecesofminetheSavillegirls theyrealwaystalkingscandal.
Still,IshouldgotoHomburg,dear,Ireallyshould.Sheisjustalittletooattractive.But
whereisAgatha?Oh,theresheis:[LADYAGATHAandMR.HOPPERenterfrom
terraceL.U.E.]Mr.Hopper,Iamvery,veryangrywithyou.YouhavetakenAgathaout
ontheterrace,andsheissodelicate.

HOPPER.Awfullysorry,Duchess.Wewentoutforamomentandthengotchatting
together.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[C.]Ah,aboutdearAustralia,Isuppose?

HOPPER.Yes!

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Agatha,darling![Beckonsherover.]

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma!

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Aside.]DidMr.Hopperdefinitely

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Andwhatanswerdidyougivehim,dearchild?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Affectionately.]Mydearone!Youalwayssaytheright
thing.Mr.Hopper!James!Agathahastoldmeeverything.Howcleverlyyouhaveboth
keptyoursecret.

HOPPER.YoudontmindmytakingAgathaofftoAustralia,then,Duchess?

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Indignantly.]ToAustralia?Oh,dontmentionthat
dreadfulvulgarplace.

HOPPER.Butshesaidshedliketocomewithme.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.[Severely.]Didyousaythat,Agatha?

LADYAGATHA.Yes,mamma.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Agatha,yousaythemostsillythingspossible.Ithinkon
thewholethatGrosvenorSquarewouldbeamorehealthyplacetoresidein.Thereare
lotsofvulgarpeopleliveinGrosvenorSquare,butatanyratetherearenohorrid
kangarooscrawlingabout.Butwelltalkaboutthattomorrow.James,youcantake
Agathadown.Youllcometolunch,ofcourse,James.Athalfpastone,insteadoftwo.
TheDukewillwishtosayafewwordstoyou,Iamsure.
HOPPER.IshouldliketohaveachatwiththeDuke,Duchess. Hehasnotsaidasingle
wordtomeyet.

DUCHESSOFBERWICK.Ithinkyoullfindhewillhaveagreatdealtosaytoyouto
morrow.[ExitLADYAGATHAwithMR.HOPPER.]Andnowgoodnight,Margaret.
Imafraiditstheold,oldstory,dear.Lovewell,notloveatfirstsight,butloveatthe
endoftheseason,whichissomuchmoresatisfactory.

LADYWINDERMERE.Goodnight,Duchess.

[ExittheDUCHESSOFBERWICKonLORDPAISLEYSarm.]

LADYPLYMDALE.MydearMargaret,whatahandsomewomanyourhusbandhas
beendancingwith!IshouldbequitejealousifIwereyou!Issheagreatfriendof
yours?

LADYWINDERMERE.No!

LADYPLYMDALE.Really?Goodnight,dear.[LooksatMR.DUMBYandexit.]

DUMBY.AwfulmannersyoungHopperhas!

CECILGRAHAM.Ah!HopperisoneofNaturesgentlemen,theworsttypeof
gentlemanIknow.

DUMBY.Sensiblewoman,LadyWindermere.Lotsofwiveswouldhaveobjectedto
Mrs.Erlynnecoming.ButLadyWindermerehasthatuncommonthingcalledcommon
sense.

CECILGRAHAM.AndWindermereknowsthatnothinglookssolikeinnocenceasan
indiscretion.

DUMBY.YesdearWindermereisbecomingalmostmodern.Neverthoughthewould.
[BowstoLADYWINDERMEREandexit.]

LADYJEDBURGH.Goodnight,LadyWindermere.WhatafascinatingwomanMrs.
Erlynneis!SheiscomingtolunchonThursday,wontyoucometoo?Iexpectthe
BishopanddearLadyMerton.

LADYWINDERMERE.IamafraidIamengaged,LadyJedburgh.

LADYJEDBURGH.Sosorry.Come,dear.[ExeuntLADYJEDBURGHandMISS
GRAHAM.]

[EnterMRS.ERLYNNEandLORDWINDERMERE.]
MRS.ERLYNNE.Charmingballithasbeen!Quiteremindsmeofolddays.[Sitson
sofa.]AndIseethattherearejustasmanyfoolsinsocietyasthereusedtobe.So
pleasedtofindthatnothinghasaltered!ExceptMargaret.Shesgrownquitepretty.The
lasttimeIsawher twentyyearsago,shewasafrightinflannel.Positivefright,Iassure
you.ThedearDuchess!andthatsweetLadyAgatha!JustthetypeofgirlIlike! Well,
really,Windermere,ifIamtobetheDuchessssisterinlaw

LORDWINDERMERE.[SittingL.ofher.]Butareyou?

[ExitMR.CECILGRAHAMwithrestofguests.LADYWINDERMEREwatches,with
alookofscornandpain,MRS.ERLYNNEandherhusband.Theyareunconsciousof
herpresence.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh,yes!Hestocalltomorrowattwelveoclock!Hewantedto
proposetonight.Infacthedid.Hekeptonproposing.PoorAugustus,youknowhow
herepeatshimself.Suchabadhabit!ButI toldhimIwouldntgivehimananswertill
tomorrow.OfcourseIamgoingtotakehim.AndIdaresayIllmakehiman
admirablewife,aswivesgo.AndthereisagreatdealofgoodinLordAugustus.
Fortunatelyitisallonthesurface.Justwheregoodqualitiesshouldbe.Ofcourseyou
musthelpmeinthismatter.

LORDWINDERMERE.IamnotcalledontoencourageLordAugustus,Isuppose?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh,no!Idotheencouraging.Butyouwillmakemeahandsome
settlement,Windermere,wontyou?

LORDWINDERMERE.[Frowning.]Isthatwhatyouwanttotalktomeaboutto
night?

MRSERLYNNE.Yes.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Withagestureofimpatience.]Iwillnottalkofithere.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Laughing.]Thenwewilltalkofitontheterrace.Evenbusiness
shouldhaveapicturesquebackground.Shoulditnot,Windermere?Withaproper
backgroundwomencandoanything.

LORDWINDERMERE.Wonttomorrowdoaswell?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Noyousee,tomorrowIamgoingtoaccepthim.AndIthinkit
wouldbeagoodthingifIwasabletotellhimthatIhadwell,whatshallIsay? 2000
ayearlefttomebyathirdcousin orasecondhusbandorsomedistantrelativeofthat
kind.Itwouldbeanadditionalattraction,wouldntit?Youhaveadelightful
opportunitynowofpayingmeacompliment,Windermere.Butyouarenotveryclever
atpayingcompliments.IamafraidMargaretdoesntencourageyouinthatexcellent
habit.Itsagreatmistakeonherpart.Whenmengiveupsayingwhatischarming,they
giveupthinkingwhatischarming.Butseriously,whatdoyousayto2000?2500,I
think.Inmodernlifemarginiseverything.Windermere,dontyouthinktheworldan
intenselyamusingplace?Ido!

[ExitonterracewithLORDWINDERMERE.Musicstrikesupinballroom.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Tostayinthishouseanylongerisimpossible.Tonightaman
wholovesmeofferedmehiswholelife.Irefusedit.Itwasfoolishofme.Iwilloffer
himminenow.Iwillgivehimmine. Iwillgotohim![Putsoncloakandgoestothe
door,thenturnsback.Sitsdownattableandwritesaletter,putsitintoanenvelope,and
leavesitontable.]Arthurhasneverunderstoodme.Whenhereadsthis,hewill.He
maydoashechoosesnowwithhislife.IhavedonewithmineasIthinkbest,asIthink
right.ItishewhohasbrokenthebondofmarriagenotI.Ionlybreakitsbondage.

[Exit.]

[PARKERentersL.andcrossestowardstheballroomR.EnterMRS.ERLYNNE.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.IsLadyWindermereintheballroom?

PARKER.Herladyshiphasjustgoneout.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Goneout?Shesnotontheterrace?

PARKER.No,madam.Herladyshiphasjustgoneoutofthehouse.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Starts,andlooksattheservantwith apuzzledexpressioninher
face.]Outofthehouse?

PARKER.Yes,madam herladyshiptoldmeshehadleftaletterforhislordshiponthe
table.

MRS.ERLYNNE.AletterforLordWindermere?

PARKER.Yes,madam.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Thankyou.

[ExitPARKER.Themusicintheballroomstops.]Goneoutofherhouse!Aletter
addressedtoherhusband![Goesovertobureauandlooksatletter.Takesitupandlays
itdownagainwithashudderoffear.]No,no!Itwouldbeimpossible!Lifedoesnt
repeatitstragedieslikethat!Oh,whydoesthishorriblefancycomeacrossme?Whydo
IremembernowtheonemomentofmylifeImostwishtoforget?Doesliferepeatits
tragedies?[Tearsletteropenandreadsit,thensinksdownintoachairwithagestureof
anguish.]Oh,howterrible!ThesamewordsthattwentyyearsagoIwrotetoherfather!
andhowbitterlyIhavebeenpunishedforit!Nomypunishment,myrealpunishmentis
tonight,isnow![StillseatedR.]

[EnterLORDWINDERMEREL.U.E.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Haveyousaidgoodnighttomywife?[ComesC.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Crushingletterinherhand.]Yes.

LORDWINDERMERE.Whereisshe?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Sheisverytired.Shehasgonetobed.Shesaidshehadaheadache.

LORDWINDERMERE.Imustgotoher.Youllexcuseme?

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Risinghurriedly.]Oh,no!Itsnothingserious.Shesonlyvery
tired,thatisall.Besides,therearepeoplestillinthesupperroom.Shewantsyouto
makeherapologiestothem.Shesaidshedidntwishtobedisturbed.[Dropsletter.]
Sheaskedmetotellyou!

LORDWINDERMERE.[Picksupletter.]Youhavedroppedsomething.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Ohyes,thankyou,thatismine.[Putsoutherhandtotakeit.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[Stilllookingatletter.]Butitsmywifeshandwriting,isnt
it?

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Takestheletterquickly.]Yes,itsanaddress.Willyouaskthem
tocallmycarriage,please?

LORDWINDERMERE.Certainly.

[GoesL.andExit.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Thanks!WhatcanIdo?WhatcanIdo?Ifeelapassionawakening
withinmethatIneverfeltbefore.Whatcanitmean?Thedaughtermustnotbelikethe
mother thatwouldbeterrible.HowcanIsaveher?HowcanIsavemychild?A
momentmayruinalife.WhoknowsthatbetterthanI?Windermeremustbegotoutof
thehousethatisabsolutelynecessary.[GoesL.]ButhowshallIdoit?Itmustbedone
somehow.Ah!

[EnterLORDAUGUSTUSR.U.E.carryingbouquet.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Dearlady,Iaminsuchsuspense!MayInothaveananswertomy
request?
MRS.ERLYNNE.LordAugustus,listentome.YouaretotakeLordWindermeredown
toyourclubatonce,andkeephimthereaslongaspossible.Youunderstand?

LORDAUGUSTUS.Butyousaidyouwishedmetokeepearlyhours!

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Nervously.]DowhatItellyou.DowhatItellyou.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Andmyreward?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yourreward?Yourreward?Oh!askmethattomorrow.Butdont
letWindermereoutofyoursighttonight.IfyoudoIwillneverforgiveyou.Iwill
neverspeaktoyouagain.Illhavenothingtodowithyou.Rememberyouaretokeep
Windermereatyourclub,anddontlethimcomebacktonight.

[ExitL.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Well,really,Imightbeherhusbandalready.PositivelyImight.
[Followsherinabewilderedmanner.]

ACTDROP.
THIRDACT

SCENE

LordDarlingtonsRooms.AlargesofaisinfrontoffireplaceR.Atthebackofthe
stageacurtainisdrawnacrossthewindow.DoorsL.andR.TableR.withwriting
materials.TableC.withsyphons,glasses,andTantalusframe.TableL.withcigarand
cigarettebox.Lampslit.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Standingbythefireplace.]Whydoesnthecome?This
waitingishorrible.Heshouldbehere.Whyishenothere,towakebypassionatewords
somefirewithinme?Iamcoldcoldasalovelessthing.Arthurmusthavereadmy
letterbythistime.Ifhecaredforme,hewouldhavecomeafterme,wouldhavetaken
mebackbyforce.Buthedoesntcare.Hesentrammelledbythiswoman fascinated
byherdominatedbyher.Ifawomanwantstoholdaman,shehasmerelytoappealto
whatisworstinhim.Wemakegodsofmenandtheyleaveus.Othersmakebrutesof
themandtheyfawnandarefaithful.Howhideouslifeis!...Oh!itwasmadofmeto
comehere,horriblymad.Andyet,whichistheworst,Iwonder,tobeatthemercyofa
manwholovesone,orthewifeofamanwhoinonesownhousedishonoursone?What
womanknows?Whatwomaninthewholeworld?Butwillhelovemealways,thisman
towhomIamgivingmylife?WhatdoIbringhim?Lipsthathavelostthenoteofjoy,
eyesthatareblindedbytears,chillhandsandicyheart.Ibringhimnothing.Imustgo
backnoIcantgoback,myletterhasputmeintheirpower Arthurwouldnottakeme
back!Thatfatalletter!No!LordDarlingtonleavesEnglandtomorrow.Iwillgowith
him Ihavenochoice.[Sitsdownforafewmoments.Thenstartsupandputsonher
cloak.]No,no!Iwillgoback,letArthurdowithmewhathepleases.Icantwaithere.
Ithasbeenmadnessmycoming.Imustgoatonce.AsforLordDarlington Oh!here
heis!WhatshallIdo?WhatcanIsaytohim?Willheletmegoawayatall?Ihave
heardthatmenarebrutal,horrible...Oh![Hidesherfaceinherhands.]

[EnterMRS.ERLYNNEL.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.LadyWindermere![LADYWINDERMEREstartsandlooksup.
Thenrecoilsincontempt.]ThankHeavenIamintime.Youmustgobacktoyour
husbandshouseimmediately.

LADYWINDERMERE.Must?

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Authoritatively.]Yes,youmust!Thereisnotasecondtobelost.
LordDarlingtonmayreturnatanymoment.

LADYWINDERMERE.Dontcomenearme!
MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh!Youareonthebrinkofruin,youareonthebrinkofahideous
precipice.Youmustleavethisplaceatonce,mycarriageiswaitingatthecornerofthe
street.Youmustcomewithmeanddrivestraighthome.

[LADYWINDERMEREthrowsoffhercloakandflingsitonthesofa.]

Whatareyoudoing?

LADYWINDERMERE.Mrs.Erlynneifyouhadnotcomehere,Iwouldhavegone
back.ButnowthatIseeyou,Ifeelthatnothinginthewholeworldwouldinducemeto
liveunderthesameroofasLordWindermere.Youfillmewithhorror.Thereis
somethingaboutyouthatstirsthewildest ragewithinme.AndIknowwhyyouare
here.MyhusbandsentyoutoluremebackthatImightserveasablindtowhatever
relationsexistbetweenyouandhim.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh!Youdontthinkthatyoucant.

LADYWINDERMERE.Gobacktomyhusband,Mrs.Erlynne.Hebelongstoyouand
nottome.Isupposeheisafraidofascandal.Menaresuchcowards.Theyoutrage
everylawoftheworld,andareafraidoftheworldstongue.Buthehadbetterprepare
himself.Heshallhaveascandal.Heshallhavetheworstscandaltherehasbeenin
Londonforyears.Heshallseehisnameineveryvilepaper,mineoneveryhideous
placard.

MRS.ERLYNNE.No no

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes!heshall.Hadhecomehimself,IadmitIwouldhave
gonebacktothelifeofdegradationyouandhehadpreparedformeIwasgoingback
buttostayhimselfathome,andtosendyouashismessengeroh!itwasinfamous
infamous.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[C.] LadyWindermere,youwrongmehorribly youwrongyour

husbandhorribly.Hedoesntknowyouarehere hethinksyouaresafeinyourown
house.Hethinksyouareasleepinyourownroom.Heneverreadthemadletteryou
wrotetohim!

LADYWINDERMERE.[R.]Neverreadit!

MRS.ERLYNNE.No heknowsnothingaboutit.

LADYWINDERMERE.Howsimpleyouthinkme![Goingtoher.]Youarelyingto
me!

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Restrainingherself.]Iamnot.Iamtellingyouthetruth.
LADYWINDERMERE.Ifmyhusbanddidntreadmyletter,howisitthatyouare
here?WhotoldyouIhadleftthehouseyouwereshamelessenoughtoenter?Whotold
youwhereIhadgoneto?Myhusbandtoldyou,andsentyoutodecoymeback.
[CrossesL.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[R.C.]Yourhusbandhasneverseentheletter.I sawit,Iopenedit.
I readit.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Turningtoher.]Youopenedaletterofminetomyhusband?
Youwouldntdare!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Dare!Oh!tosaveyoufromtheabyssintowhichyouarefalling,
thereisnothingintheworldIwouldnotdare,nothinginthewholeworld.Hereisthe
letter.Yourhusbandhasneverreadit.Henevershallreadit.[Goingtofireplace.]It
shouldneverhavebeenwritten.[Tearsitandthrowsitintothefire.]

LADYWINDERMERE.[Withinfinitecontemptinhervoiceandlook.]HowdoI
knowthatthatwasmyletterafterall?Youseemtothinkthecommonestdevicecantake
mein!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh!whydoyoudisbelieveeverythingItellyou?Whatobjectdo
youthinkIhaveincominghere,excepttosaveyoufromutterruin,tosaveyoufromthe
consequenceofahideousmistake?Thatletterthatisburntnowwasyourletter.Iswear
ittoyou!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Slowly.]YoutookgoodcaretoburnitbeforeIhadexamined
it.Icannottrustyou.You,whosewholelifeisalie,couldyouspeakthetruthabout
anything?[Sitsdown.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Hurriedly.]Thinkasyoulikeaboutmesaywhatyouchoose
againstme,butgoback,gobackto thehusbandyoulove.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Sullenly.]Idonotlovehim!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Youdo,andyouknowthathelovesyou.

LADYWINDERMERE.Hedoesnotunderstandwhatloveis.Heunderstandsitaslittle
asyoudo butIseewhatyouwant.Itwouldbeagreatadvantageforyoutogetme
back.DearHeaven!whatalifeIwouldhavethen!Livingatthemercyofawomanwho
hasneithermercynorpityinher,awomanwhomitisaninfamytomeet,adegradation
toknow,avilewoman,awomanwhocomesbetweenhusbandandwife!

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Withagestureofdespair.]LadyWindermere,LadyWindermere,
dontsaysuchterriblethings.Youdontknowhowterribletheyare,howterribleand
howunjust.Listen,youmustlisten!Onlygobacktoyourhusband,andIpromiseyou
nevertocommunicatewithhimagainonanypretextnevertoseehim nevertohave
anythingtodowithhislifeoryours.Themoneythathegaveme,hegavemenot
throughlove,butthroughhatred,notinworship,butincontempt.TheholdIhaveover
him

LADYWINDERMERE.[Rising.]Ah!youadmityouhaveahold!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yes,andIwilltellyouwhatitis.Itishisloveforyou,Lady
Windermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Youexpectmetobelievethat?

MRS.ERLYNNE. Youmustbelieveit!Itistrue.Itishisloveforyouthathasmade
himsubmitto oh!callitwhatyoulike,tyranny,threats,anythingyouchoose.Butitis
hisloveforyou.Hisdesiretospareyou shame,yes,shameanddisgrace.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whatdoyoumean?Youareinsolent!WhathaveItodowith
you?

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Humbly.]Nothing.IknowitbutItellyouthatyourhusband
lovesyou thatyoumaynevermeetwithsuchloveagaininyourwholelifethatsuch
loveyouwill nevermeetandthatifyouthrowitaway,thedaymaycomewhenyou
willstarveforloveanditwillnotbegiventoyou,begforloveanditwillbedeniedyou
Oh!Arthurlovesyou!

LADYWINDERMERE.Arthur?Andyoutellmethereisnothingbetweenyou?

MRS.ERLYNNE.LadyWindermere,beforeHeavenyourhusbandisguiltlessofall
offencetowardsyou!AndI Itellyouthathaditeveroccurredtomethatsucha
monstroussuspicionwouldhaveenteredyourmind,Iwouldhavediedratherthanhave
crossedyourlifeorhisoh!died,gladlydied![MovesawaytosofaR.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Youtalkasifyouhadaheart.Womenlikeyouhaveno
hearts.Heartisnotinyou.Youareboughtandsold.[SitsL.C.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Starts,withagestureofpain.Thenrestrainsherself,andcomesover
towhereLADYWINDERMEREissitting.Asshespeaks,shestretchesoutherhands
towardsher,butdoesnotdaretotouchher.]Believewhatyouchooseaboutme.Iam
notworthamomentssorrow.Butdontspoilyourbeautifulyounglifeonmyaccount!
Youdontknowwhatmaybeinstoreforyou,unlessyouleavethishouseatonce.You
dontknowwhatitistofallintothepit,tobedespised,mocked,abandoned,sneeredat
tobeanoutcast!tofindthedoorshutagainstone,tohavetocreepinbyhideousbyways,
afraideverymomentlestthemaskshouldbestrippedfromonesface,andallthewhile
tohearthelaughter,thehorriblelaughteroftheworld,athingmoretragicthanallthe
tearstheworldhasevershed.Youdontknowwhatitis.Onepaysforonessin,and
thenonepaysagain,andalloneslifeonepays.Youmustneverknowthat. Asforme,
ifsufferingbeanexpiation,thenatthismomentIhaveexpiatedallmyfaults,whatever
theyhavebeenfortonightyouhavemadeaheartinonewhohaditnot,madeitand
brokenit. Butletthatpass.Imayhavewreckedmyownlife,butIwillnotletyou
wreckyours.You why,youareameregirl,youwouldbelost.Youhaventgotthe
kindofbrainsthatenablesawomantogetback.Youhaveneitherthewitnorthe
courage.Youcouldntstanddishonour!No!Goback,LadyWindermere,tothe
husbandwholovesyou,whomyoulove.Youhaveachild,LadyWindermere.Goback
tothatchildwhoevennow,inpainorinjoy,maybecallingtoyou.[LADY
WINDERMERErises.]Godgaveyouthatchild.Hewillrequirefromyouthatyou
makehislifefine,thatyouwatchoverhim.WhatanswerwillyoumaketoGodifhis
lifeisruinedthroughyou?Backtoyourhouse,LadyWindermereyourhusbandloves
you!Hehasneverswervedforamomentfromthelovehebearsyou.Butevenifhehad
athousandloves,youmuststaywithyourchild.Ifhewasharshtoyou,youmuststay
withyourchild.Ifheilltreatedyou,youmuststaywithyourchild.Ifheabandoned
you,yourplaceiswithyourchild.

[LADYWINDERMEREburstsintotearsandburiesherfaceinherhands.]

[Rushingtoher.]LadyWindermere!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Holdingoutherhandstoher,helplessly,asachildmightdo.]
Takemehome.Takemehome.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Isabouttoembraceher.Thenrestrainsherself.Thereisalookof
wonderfuljoyinherface.]Come!Whereisyourcloak?[Gettingitfromsofa.]Here.
Putiton.Comeatonce!

[Theygotothedoor.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Stop!Dontyouhearvoices?

MRS.ERLYNNE.No,no!Therewasnoone!

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes,thereis!Listen!Oh!thatismyhusbandsvoice!Heis
comingin!Saveme!Oh,itssomeplot!Youhavesentforhim.

[Voicesoutside.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Silence!Imheretosaveyou,ifIcan.ButIfearitistoolate!
There![Pointstothecurtainacrossthewindow.]Thefirstchanceyouhave,slipout,if
youevergetachance!

LADYWINDERMERE.Butyou?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh!nevermindme.Illfacethem.

[LADYWINDERMEREhidesherselfbehindthecurtain.]
LORDAUGUSTUS.[Outside.]Nonsense,dearWindermere,youmustnotleaveme!

MRS.ERLYNNE.LordAugustus!ThenitisIwhoamlost![Hesitatesforamoment,
thenlooksroundandseesdoorR.,andexitsthroughit.]

[EnterLORDDARLINGTON,MR.DUMBY,LORDWINDERMERE,LORD
AUGUSTUSLORTON,andMR.CECILGRAHAM.

DUMBY.Whatanuisancetheirturningusoutoftheclubatthishour!Itsonlytwo
oclock.[Sinksintoachair.]Thelivelypartoftheeveningisonlyjustbeginning.
[Yawnsandcloseshiseyes.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Itisverygoodofyou,LordDarlington,allowingAugustusto
forceourcompanyonyou,butImafraidIcantstaylong.

LORDDARLINGTON.Really!Iamsosorry!Youlltakeacigar,wontyou?

LORDWINDERMERE.Thanks![Sitsdown.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.[ToLORDWINDERMERE.]Mydearboy,youmustnotdream
ofgoing.Ihaveagreatdealtotalktoyouabout,ofdemmedimportance,too.[Sits
downwithhimatL.table.]

CECILGRAHAM.Oh!Weallknowwhatthatis!Tuppycanttalkaboutanythingbut
Mrs.Erlynne.

LORDWINDERMERE.Well,thatisnobusinessofyours,isit,Cecil?

CECILGRAHAM.None!Thatiswhyitinterestsme.Myownbusinessalwaysbores
metodeath.Ipreferotherpeoples.

LORDDARLINGTON.Havesomethingtodrink,youfellows.Cecil,youllhavea
whiskyandsoda?

CECILGRAHAM.Thanks.[GoestotablewithLORDDARLINGTON.]Mrs.Erlynne
lookedveryhandsometonight,didntshe?

LORDDARLINGTON.Iamnotoneofheradmirers.

CECILGRAHAM.Iusenttobe,butIamnow.Why!sheactuallymademeintroduce
hertopoordearAuntCaroline.Ibelievesheisgoingtolunchthere.

LORDDARLINGTON.[InPurple.]No?

CECILGRAHAM.Sheis,really.
LORDDARLINGTON.Excuseme,youfellows.Imgoingawaytomorrow.AndI
havetowriteafewletters.[Goestowritingtableandsitsdown.]

DUMBY.Cleverwoman,Mrs.Erlynne.

CECILGRAHAM.Hallo,Dumby!Ithoughtyouwereasleep.

DUMBY.Iam,Iusuallyam!

LORDAUGUSTUS.Averycleverwoman.Knowsperfectlywellwhatademmedfool
Iam knowsitaswellasIdomyself.

[CECILGRAHAMcomestowardshimlaughing.]

Ah,youmaylaugh,myboy,butitisagreatthingtocomeacrossawomanwho
thoroughlyunderstandsone.

DUMBY.Itisanawfullydangerousthing.Theyalwaysendbymarryingone.

CECILGRAHAM.ButIthought,Tuppy,youwerenevergoingtoseeheragain!Yes!
youtoldmesoyesterdayeveningattheclub.Yousaidyoudheard

[Whisperingtohim.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Oh,shesexplainedthat.

CECILGRAHAM.AndtheWiesbadenaffair?

LORDAUGUSTUS.Shesexplainedthattoo.

DUMBY.Andherincome,Tuppy?Hassheexplainedthat?

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Inaveryseriousvoice.]Shesgoingtoexplainthattomorrow.

[CECILGRAHAMgoesbacktoC.table.]

DUMBY.Awfullycommercial,womennowadays.Ourgrandmothersthrewtheircaps
overthemills,ofcourse,but,byJove,theirgranddaughtersonlythrowtheircapsover
millsthatcanraisethewindforthem.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Youwanttomakeheroutawickedwoman.Sheisnot!

CECILGRAHAM.Oh!Wickedwomenbotherone.Goodwomenboreone.Thatis
theonlydifferencebetweenthem.
LORDAUGUSTUS.[Puffingacigar.]Mrs.Erlynnehasafuturebeforeher.

DUMBY.Mrs.Erlynnehasapastbeforeher.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Ipreferwomenwithapast.Theyrealwayssodemmedamusing
totalkto.

CECILGRAHAM.Well,youllhavelotsoftopicsofconversationwithher,Tuppy.
[Risingandgoingtohim.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Youregettingannoying,dearboyyouregettingdemmed
annoying.

CECILGRAHAM.[Putshishandsonhisshoulders.]Now,Tuppy,youvelostyour
figureandyouvelostyourcharacter.Dontloseyourtemperyouhaveonlygotone.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Mydearboy,ifIwasntthemostgoodnaturedmaninLondon

CECILGRAHAM.Wedtreatyouwithmorerespect,wouldntwe,Tuppy?[Strolls
away.]

DUMBY.Theyouthofthepresentdayarequitemonstrous.Theyhaveabsolutelyno
respectfordyedhair.[LORDAUGUSTUSlooksroundangrily.]

CECILGRAHAM.Mrs.ErlynnehasaverygreatrespectfordearTuppy.

DUMBY.ThenMrs.Erlynnesetsanadmirableexampletotherestofhersex.Itis
perfectlybrutalthewaymostwomennowadaysbehavetomenwhoarenottheir
husbands.

LORDWINDERMERE.Dumby,youareridiculous,andCecil,youletyourtonguerun
awaywithyou.YoumustleaveMrs.Erlynnealone.Youdontreallyknowanything
abouther,andyourealwaystalkingscandalagainsther.

CECILGRAHAM.[ComingtowardshimL.C.]MydearArthur,Inevertalkscandal.I
onlytalkgossip.

LORDWINDERMERE.Whatisthedifferencebetweenscandalandgossip?

CECILGRAHAM.Oh!gossipischarming!Historyismerelygossip.Butscandalis
gossipmadetediousbymorality.Now,Inevermoralise.Amanwhomoralisesis
usuallyahypocrite,andawomanwhomoralisesisinvariablyplain. Thereisnothingin
thewholeworldsounbecomingtoawomanasaNonconformistconscience.Andmost
womenknowit,Imgladtosay.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Justmysentiments,dearboy,justmysentiments.
CECILGRAHAM.Sorrytohearit,Tuppywheneverpeopleagreewithme,Ialways
feelImustbewrong.

LORDAUGUSTUS.Mydearboy,whenIwasyourage

CECILGRAHAM.Butyouneverwere,Tuppy,andyouneverwillbe.[GoesupC.]I
say,Darlington,letushavesomecards.Youllplay,Arthur,wontyou?

LORDWINDERMERE.No,thanks,Cecil.

DUMBY.[Withasigh.]Goodheavens!howmarriageruinsaman!Itsasdemoralising
ascigarettes,andfarmoreexpensive.

CECILGRAHAM.Youllplay,ofcourse,Tuppy?

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Pouringhimselfoutabrandyandsodaattable.]Cant,dearboy.
PromisedMrs.Erlynnenevertoplayordrinkagain.

CECILGRAHAM.Now,mydearTuppy,dontbeledastrayintothepathsofvirtue.
Reformed,youwouldbeperfectlytedious.Thatistheworstofwomen.They always
wantonetobegood.Andifwearegood,whentheymeetus,theydontloveusatall.
Theyliketofindusquiteirretrievablybad,andtoleaveusquiteunattractivelygood.

LORDDARLINGTON.[RisingfromR.table,wherehehasbeenwritingletters.]They
alwaysdofindusbad!

DUMBY.Idontthinkwearebad.Ithinkweareallgood,exceptTuppy.

LORDDARLINGTON.No,weareallinthegutter,butsomeofusarelookingatthe
stars.[SitsdownatC.table.]

DUMBY.Weareallinthegutter,butsomeofusarelookingatthestars?Uponmy
word,youareveryromantictonight,Darlington.

CECILGRAHAM.Tooromantic!Youmustbeinlove.Whoisthegirl?

LORDDARLINGTON.ThewomanIloveisnotfree,orthinkssheisnt.[Glances
instinctivelyatLORDWINDERMEREwhilehespeaks.]

CECILGRAHAM.Amarriedwoman,then!Well,theresnothingintheworldlikethe
devotionofamarriedwoman.Itsathingnomarriedmanknowsanythingabout.

LORDDARLINGTON.Oh!shedoesntloveme.Sheisagoodwoman.Sheisthe
onlygoodwomanIhaveevermetinmylife.
CECILGRAHAM.Theonlygoodwomanyouhaveevermetinyourlife?

LORDDARLINGTON.Yes!

CECILGRAHAM.[Lightingacigarette.]Well,youarealuckyfellow!Why,Ihave
methundredsofgoodwomen.Ineverseemtomeetanybutgoodwomen.Theworldis
perfectlypackedwithgoodwomen.Toknowthemisamiddleclasseducation.

LORDDARLINGTON.Thiswomanhaspurityandinnocence.Shehaseverythingwe
menhavelost.

CECILGRAHAM.Mydearfellow,whatonearthshouldwemendogoingaboutwith
purityandinnocence?Acarefullythoughtoutbuttonholeismuchmoreeffective.

DUMBY.Shedoesntreallyloveyouthen?

LORDDARLINGTON.No,shedoesnot!

DUMBY.Icongratulateyou,mydearfellow.Inthisworldthereareonlytwotragedies.
Oneisnotgettingwhatonewants,andtheotherisgettingit.Thelastismuchtheworst
thelastisarealtragedy!ButIaminterestedtohearshedoesnotloveyou.Howlong
couldyouloveawomanwhodidntloveyou,Cecil?

CECILGRAHAM.Awomanwhodidntloveme?Oh,allmylife!

DUMBY.SocouldI.Butitssodifficulttomeetone.

LORDDARLINGTON.Howcanyoubesoconceited,DUMBY?

DUMBY.Ididntsayitasamatterofconceit.Isaiditasamatterofregret.Ihavebeen
wildly,madlyadored.IamsorryIhave.Ithasbeenanimmensenuisance.Ishouldlike
tobeallowedalittletimetomyselfnowandthen.

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Lookinground.]Timetoeducateyourself,Isuppose.

DUMBY.No,timetoforgetallIhavelearned.Thatismuchmoreimportant,dear
Tuppy.[LORDAUGUSTUSmovesuneasilyinhischair.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Whatcynicsyoufellowsare!

CECILGRAHAM.Whatisacynic?[Sittingonthebackofthesofa.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Amanwhoknowsthepriceofeverythingandthevalueof
nothing.
CECILGRAHAM.Andasentimentalist,mydearDarlington,isamanwhoseesan
absurdvalueineverything,anddoesntknowthemarketpriceofanysinglething.

LORDDARLINGTON.Youalwaysamuseme,Cecil.Youtalkasifyouwereamanof
experience.

CECILGRAHAM.Iam.[Movesuptofrontofffireplace.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Youarefartooyoung!

CECILGRAHAM.Thatisagreaterror.Experienceisaquestionofinstinctaboutlife.
Ihavegotit.Tuppyhasnt.ExperienceisthenameTuppygivestohismistakes.Thatis
all.[LORDAUGUSTUSlooksroundindignantly.]

DUMBY.Experienceisthenameeveryonegivestotheirmistakes.

CECIL GRAHAM.[Standingwithhisbacktothefireplace.]Oneshouldntcommit
any.[SeesLADYWINDERMERESfanonsofa.]

DUMBY.Lifewouldbeverydullwithoutthem.

CECILGRAHAM.Ofcourseyouarequitefaithfultothiswomanyouareinlovewith,
Darlington,tothisgoodwoman?

LORDDARLINGTON.Cecil,ifonreallylovesawoman,allotherwomenintheworld
becomeabsolutelymeaninglesstoone.LovechangesoneIamchanged.

CECILGRAHAM.Dearme!Howveryinteresting!Tuppy,Iwanttotalktoyou.
[LORDAUGUSTUStakesnonotice.]

DUMBY.ItsnousetalkingtoTuppy.Youmightjustaswelltalktoabrickwall.

CECILGRAHAM.ButIliketalkingtoabrickwall itstheonlythingintheworldthat
nevercontradictsme!Tuppy!

LORDAUGUSTUS.Well,whatisit?Whatisit?[RisingandgoingovertoCECIL
GRAHAM.]

CECILGRAHAM.Comeoverhere.Iwantyouparticularly.[Aside.]Darlingtonhas
beenmoralisingandtalkingaboutthepurityoflove,andthatsortofthing,andhehasgot
somewomaninhisroomsallthetime.

LORDAUGUSTUS.No,really!really!

CECILGRAHAM.[Inalowvoice.]Yes,hereisherfan.[Pointstothefan.]
LORDAUGUSTUS.[Chuckling.]ByJove!ByJove!

LORDWINDERMERE.[Upbydoor.]Iamreallyoffnow,LordDarlington.Iam
sorryyouareleavingEnglandsosoon.Praycallonuswhenyoucomeback!Mywife
andIwillbecharmedtoseeyou!

LORDDARLINGTON.[UpsagewithLORDWINDERMERE.]IamafraidIshallbe
awayformanyyears.Goodnight!

CECILGRAHAM.Arthur!

LORDWINDERMERE.What?

CECILGRAHAM.Iwanttospeaktoyouforamoment.No,docome!

LORDWINDERMERE.[Puttingonhiscoat.]Icant Imoff!

CECILGRAHAM.Itissomethingveryparticular.Itwillinterestyouenormously.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Smiling.]Itissomeofyournonsense,Cecil.

CECILGRAHAM.Itisnt!Itisntreally.

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Goingtohim.]Mydearfellow,youmustntgoyet.Ihavealot
totalktoyouabout.AndCecilhassomethingtoshowyou.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Walkingover.]Well,whatisit?

CECILGRAHAM.Darlingtonhasgotawomanhereinhisrooms.Hereisherfan.
Amusing,isntit?[Apause.]

LORDWINDERMERE.GoodGod![Seizesthefan DUMBYrises.]

CECILGRAHAM.Whatisthematter?

LORDWINDERMERE.LordDarlington!

LORDDARLINGTON.[Turninground.]Yes!

LORDWINDERMERE.Whatismywifesfandoinghereinyourrooms?Handsoff,
Cecil.Donttouchme.

LORDDARLINGTON.Yourwifesfan?

LORDWINDERMERE.Yes,hereitis!
LORDDARLINGTON.[Walkingtowardshim.]Idontknow!

LORDWINDERMERE.Youmustknow.Idemandanexplanation.Dontholdme,
youfool.[ToCECILGRAHAM.]

LORDDARLINGTON.[Aside.]Sheishereafterall!

LORDWINDERMERE.Speak,sir!Why ismywifesfanhere?Answerme!ByGod!
Illsearchyourrooms,andifmywifeshere,Ill [Moves.]

LORDDARLINGTON.Youshallnotsearchmyrooms.Youhavenorighttodoso.I
forbidyou!

LORDWINDERMERE.Youscoundrel!IllnotleaveyourroomtillIhavesearched
everycornerofit!Whatmovesbehindthatcurtain?[RushestowardsthecurtainC.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[EntersbehindR.]LordWindermere!

LORDWINDERMERE.Mrs.Erlynne!

[Everyonestartsandturnsround.LADYWINDERMEREslipsoutfrombehindthe
curtainandglidesfromtheroomL.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.IamafraidItookyourwifesfaninmistakeformyown,whenIwas
leavingyourhousetonight.Iamsosorry.[Takesfanfromhim.LORD
WINDERMERElooksatherincontempt. LORDDARLINGTONinmingled
astonishmentandanger.LORDAUGUSTUSturnsaway.Theothermensmileateach
other.]

ACTDROP.
FOURTHACT

SCENE SameasinActI.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Lyingonsofa.]HowcanItellhim?Icanttellhim.Itwould
killme.IwonderwhathappenedafterIescapedfromthathorribleroom.Perhapsshe
toldthemthetruereasonofherbeingthere,andtherealmeaningofthat fatalfanof
mine.Oh,ifheknowshowcanIlookhiminthefaceagain?Hewouldneverforgive
me.[Touchesbell.]Howsecurelyonethinksonelivesoutofreachoftemptation,sin,
folly.Andthensuddenly Oh!Lifeisterrible.Itrulesus,wedonotruleit.

[EnterROSALIER.]

ROSALIE.Didyourladyshipringforme?

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.HaveyoufoundoutatwhattimeLordWindermerecame
inlastnight?

ROSALIE.Hislordshipdidnotcomeintillfiveoclock.

LADYWINDERMERE.Fiveoclock?Heknockedatmydoorthismorning,didnthe?

ROSALIE.Yes,mylady athalfpastnine.Itoldhimyourladyshipwasnotawakeyet.

LADYWINDERMERE.Didhesayanything?

ROSALIE.Somethingaboutyourladyshipsfan.Ididntquitecatchwhathislordship
said.Hasthefanbeenlost,mylady?Icantfindit,andParkersaysitwasnotleftinany
oftherooms.Hehaslookedinallofthemandontheterraceaswell.

LADYWINDERMERE.Itdoesntmatter.TellParkernottotrouble.Thatwilldo.

[ExitROSALIE.]

LADYWINDERMERE.[Rising.]Sheissuretotellhim.Icanfancyapersondoinga
wonderfulactofselfsacrifice,doingitspontaneously,recklessly,nobly andafterwards
findingoutthatitcoststoomuch.Whyshouldshehesitatebetweenherruinandmine?.
..Howstrange!Iwouldhavepubliclydisgracedherinmyownhouse.Sheaccepts
publicdisgraceinthehouseofanothertosaveme....Thereisabitterironyinthings,a
bitterironyinthewaywetalkofgoodandbadwomen....Oh,whatalesson!andwhata
pitythatinlifeweonlygetourlessonswhentheyareofnousetous!Forevenifshe
doesnttell,Imust.Oh!theshameofit,theshameofit.Totellitistolivethroughitall
again.Actionsarethefirsttragedyinlife,wordsarethesecond.Wordsareperhapsthe
worst.Wordsaremerciless...Oh![StartsasLORDWINDERMEREenters.]
LORDWINDERMERE.[Kissesher.]Margaret howpaleyoulook!

LADYWINDERMERE.Isleptverybadly.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Sittingonsofawithher.]Iamsosorry.Icameindreadfully
late,anddidntliketowakeyou.Youarecrying,dear.

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes,Iamcrying,forIhavesomethingtotellyou,Arthur.

LORDWINDERMERE.Mydearchild,youarenotwell.Youvebeendoingtoomuch.
Letusgoawaytothecountry.Youllbeall rightatSelby.Theseasonisalmostover.
Thereisnousestayingon.Poordarling!Wellgoawaytoday,ifyoulike.[Rises.]
Wecaneasilycatchthe3.40.IllsendawiretoFannen.[Crossesandsitsdownattable
towriteatelegram.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Yesletusgoawaytoday.NoIcantgotoday,Arthur.
ThereissomeoneImustseebeforeIleavetown someonewhohasbeenkindtome.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Risingandleaningoversofa.]Kindtoyou?

LADYWINDERMERE.Farmorethan that.[Risesandgoestohim.]Iwilltellyou,
Arthur,butonlyloveme,lovemeasyouusedtoloveme.

LORDWINDERMERE.Usedto?Youarenotthinkingofthatwretchedwomanwho
cameherelastnight?[ComingroundandsittingR.ofher.]Youdontstillimagineno,
youcouldnt.

LADYWINDERMERE.Idont.IknownowIwaswrongandfoolish.

LORDWINDERMERE.Itwasverygoodofyoutoreceiveherlastnightbutyouare
nevertoseeheragain.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whydoyousaythat?[Apause.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[Holdingherhand.]Margaret,IthoughtMrs.Erlynnewasa
womanmoresinnedagainstthansinning,asthephrasegoes.Ithoughtshewantedtobe
good,togetbackintoaplacethatshehadlostbyamomentsfolly,toleadagainadecent
life.IbelievedwhatshetoldmeIwasmistakeninher.Sheisbadasbadasawoman
canbe.

LADYWINDERMERE.Arthur,Arthur,donttalksobitterlyaboutanywoman.Idont
thinknowthatpeoplecanbedividedintothegoodandthebadasthoughtheyweretwo
separateracesorcreations.Whatarecalledgoodwomenmayhaveterriblethingsin
them,madmoodsofrecklessness,assertion,jealousy,sin.Badwomen,astheyare
termed,mayhaveinthemsorrow,repentance,pity,sacrifice.AndIdontthinkMrs.
Erlynneabadwoman Iknowshesnot.
LORDWINDERMERE.Mydearchild,thewomansimpossible.Nomatterwhatharm
shetriestodous,youmustneverseeheragain.Sheisinadmissibleanywhere.

LADYWINDERMERE.ButIwanttoseeher.Iwanthertocomehere.

LORDWINDERMERE.Never!

LADYWINDERMERE.Shecamehereonceasyourguest.Shemustcomenowas
mine.Thatisbutfair.

LORDWINDERMERE.Sheshouldneverhavecomehere.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Rising.]Itistoolate, Arthur,tosaythatnow.[Movesaway.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[Rising.]Margaret,ifyouknewwhereMrs.Erlynnewentlast
night,aftersheleftthishouse,youwouldnotsitinthesameroomwithher.Itwas
absolutelyshameless,thewholething.

LADYWINDERMERE.Arthur,Icantbearitanylonger.Imusttellyou.Lastnight

[EnterPARKERwithatrayonwhichlieLADYWINDERMERESfanandacard.]

PARKER.Mrs.Erlynnehascalledtoreturnyourladyshipsfanwhichshetookawayby
mistakelastnight.Mrs.Erlynnehaswrittenamessageonthecard.

LADYWINDERMERE.Oh,askMrs.Erlynnetobekindenoughtocomeup.[Reads
card.]SayIshallbeverygladtoseeher.[ExitPARKER.]Shewantstoseeme,Arthur.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Takescardandlooksatit.]Margaret,Ibegyounotto.Let
meseeherfirst,atanyrate.Shesaverydangerouswoman.Sheisthemostdangerous
womanIknow.Youdontrealisewhatyouredoing.

LADYWINDERMERE.ItisrightthatIshouldseeher.

LORDWINDERMERE.Mychild,youmaybeonthebrinkofagreatsorrow.Dontgo
tomeetit.ItisabsolutelynecessarythatIshouldseeherbeforeyoudo.

LADYWINDERMERE.Whyshoulditbenecessary?

[EnterPARKER.]

PARKER.Mrs.Erlynne.

[EnterMRS.ERLYNNE.]
[ExitPARKER.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Howdoyoudo,LadyWindermere?[ToLORDWINDERMERE.]
Howdoyoudo?Doyouknow,LadyWindermere,Iamsosorryaboutyourfan.Icant
imaginehowImadesuchasillymistake.Moststupidofme.AndasIwasdrivingin
yourdirection,IthoughtIwouldtaketheopportunityofreturningyourpropertyin
personwithmanyapologiesformycarelessness,andofbiddingyougoodbye.

LADYWINDERMERE.Goodbye?[MovestowardssofawithMRS.ERLYNNEand
sitsdownbesideher.]Areyougoingaway,then,Mrs.Erlynne?

MRS.ERLYNNE.YesIamgoingtoliveabroadagain.TheEnglishclimatedoesnt
suitme.My heartisaffectedhere,andthatIdontlike.Ipreferlivinginthesouth.
Londonistoofulloffogsandandseriouspeople,LordWindermere.Whetherthefogs
producetheseriouspeopleorwhethertheseriouspeopleproducethefogs,Idontknow,
butthewholethingrathergetsonmynerves,andsoImleavingthisafternoonbythe
ClubTrain.

LADYWINDERMERE.Thisafternoon?ButIwantedsomuchtocomeandseeyou.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Howkindofyou!ButIamafraidIhavetogo.

LADYWINDERMERE.ShallIneverseeyouagain,Mrs.Erlynne?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Iamafraidnot.Ourliveslietoofarapart. ButthereisalittlethingI
wouldlikeyoutodoforme.Iwantaphotographofyou,LadyWindermerewouldyou
givemeone?YoudontknowhowgratifiedIshouldbe.

LADYWINDERMERE.Oh,withpleasure.Thereisoneonthattable.Illshowitto
you.[Goesacrosstothetable.]

LORDWINDERMERE.[CominguptoMRS.ERLYNNEandspeakinginalowvoice.]
Itismonstrousyourintrudingyourselfhereafteryourconductlastnight.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Withanamusedsmile.]MydearWindermere,mannersbefore
morals!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Returning.]ImafraiditisveryflatteringIamnotsopretty
asthat.[Showingphotograph.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Youaremuchprettier.Buthaventyougotoneofyourselfwithyour
littleboy?

LADYWINDERMERE.Ihave.Wouldyoupreferoneofthose?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yes.
LADYWINDERMERE.Illgoandgetitforyou,ifyoullexcusemeforamoment.I
haveoneupstairs.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Sosorry,LadyWindermere,togiveyousomuchtrouble.

LADYWINDERMERE.[MovestodoorR.]Notroubleatall,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Thankssomuch.

[ExitLADYWINDERMERER.]Youseemratheroutoftemperthismorning,
Windermere.Whyshouldyoube?MargaretandIgetoncharminglytogether.

LORDWINDERMERE.Icantbeartoseeyouwithher.Besides,youhavenottoldme
thetruth,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Ihavenottoldherthetruth,youmean.

LORDWINDERMERE.[StandingC.]Isometimeswishyouhad.Ishouldhavebeen
sparedthenthemisery,theanxiety,theannoyanceofthelastsixmonths.Butratherthan
mywifeshouldknow thatthemotherwhomshewastaughttoconsiderasdead,the
motherwhomshehasmournedasdead,islivingadivorcedwoman,goingaboutunder
anassumedname,abadwomanpreyinguponlife,asIknowyounowtobe ratherthan
that,Iwasreadytosupplyyouwithmoneytopaybillafterbill,extravaganceafter
extravagance,toriskwhatoccurredyesterday,thefirstquarrelIhaveeverhadwithmy
wife.Youdontunderstandwhatthatmeanstome.Howcouldyou?ButItellyouthat
theonlybitterwordsthatevercamefromthosesweetlipsofherswereonyouraccount,
andIhatetoseeyounexther.Yousullytheinnocencethatisinher.[MovesL.C.]And
thenIusedtothinkthatwithallyourfaultsyouwerefrankandhonest.Youarenot.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Whydoyousaythat?

LORDWINDERMERE.Youmademegetyouaninvitationtomywifesball.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Formydaughtersball yes.

LORDWINDERMERE.Youcame,andwithinanhourofyourleavingthehouseyou
arefoundinamansroomsyouaredisgracedbeforeeveryone.[GoesupstageC.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yes.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Turningroundonher.]ThereforeIhavearighttolookupon
youaswhatyouare aworthless,viciouswoman.Ihavetherighttotellyouneverto
enterthishouse,nevertoattempttocomenearmywife

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Coldly.]Mydaughter,youmean.
LORDWINDERMERE.Youhavenorighttoclaimherasyourdaughter.Youlefther,
abandonedherwhenshewasbutachildinthecradle,abandonedherforyourlover,who
abandonedyouinturn.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Rising.]Doyoucountthattohiscredit,LordWindermere orto
mine?

LORDWINDERMERE.Tohis,nowthatIknowyou.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Takecare youhadbetterbecareful.

LORDWINDERMERE.Oh,Iamnotgoingtomincewordsforyou.Iknowyou
thoroughly.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Lookssteadilyathim.]Iquestionthat.

LORDWINDERMERE.Idoknowyou.Fortwentyyearsofyourlifeyoulivedwithout
yourchild,withoutathoughtofyourchild.Onedayyoureadinthepapersthatshehad
marriedarichman.Yousawyourhideouschance.Youknewthattospareherthe
ignominyoflearningthatawomanlikeyouwashermother,I wouldendureanything.
Youbeganyourblackmailing,

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Shrugginghershoulders.]Dontuseuglywords,Windermere.
Theyarevulgar.Isawmychance,itistrue,andtookit.

LORDWINDERMERE.Yes,youtookitandspoileditalllastnightbybeingfound
out.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Withastrangesmile.]Youarequiteright,Ispoileditalllastnight.

LORDWINDERMERE.Andasforyourblunderintakingmywifesfanfromhereand
thenleavingitaboutinDarlingtonsrooms,itisunpardonable.Icantbearthesightofit
now.Ishallneverletmywifeuseitagain.Thethingissoiledforme.Youshouldhave
keptitandnotbroughtitback.

MRS.ERLYNNE.IthinkIshallkeepit.[Goesup.]Itsextremelypretty.[Takesup
fan.]I shallaskMargarettogiveittome.

LORDWINDERMERE.Ihopemywifewillgiveityou.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Oh,Imsureshewillhavenoobjection.

LORDWINDERMERE.Iwishthatatthesametimeshewouldgiveyouaminiatureshe
kisseseverynightbeforeshepraysItstheminiatureofayounginnocentlookinggirl
withbeautifuldarkhair.
MRS.ERLYNNE.Ah,yes,Iremember.Howlongagothatseems![Goestosofaand
sitsdown.]ItwasdonebeforeIwasmarried.Darkhairandaninnocentexpression were
thefashionthen,Windermere![Apause.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Whatdoyoumeanbycomingherethismorning?Whatisyour
object?[CrossingL.C.andsitting.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Withanoteofironyinhervoice.]Tobidgoodbyetomydear
daughter, ofcourse.[LORDWINDERMEREbiteshisunderlipinanger.MRS.
ERLYNNElooksathim,andhervoiceandmannerbecomeserious.Inheraccentsatshe
talksthereisanoteofdeeptragedy.Foramomentsherevealsherself.]Oh,dont
imagineIamgoingtohaveapatheticscenewithher,weeponherneckandtellherwhoI
am,andallthatkindofthing.Ihavenoambitiontoplaythepartofamother.Onlyonce
inmylifelikeIknownamothersfeelings.Thatwaslastnight.Theywereterrible
theymademesuffer theymademesuffertoomuch.Fortwentyyears,asyousay,I
havelivedchildless,Iwanttolivechildlessstill.[Hidingherfeelingswithatrivial
laugh.]Besides,mydearWindermere,howonearthcouldIposeasamotherwith a
grownupdaughter?Margaretistwentyone,andIhaveneveradmittedthatIammore
thantwentynine,orthirtyatthemost.Twentyninewhentherearepinkshades,thirty
whentherearenot.Soyouseewhatdifficultiesitwouldinvolve.No,asfarasIam
concerned,letyourwifecherishthememoryofthisdead,stainlessmother.WhyshouldI
interferewithherillusions?Ifindithardenoughtokeepmyown.Ilostoneillusionlast
night.IthoughtIhadnoheart.IfindIhave,andaheartdoesntsuitme,Windermere.
Somehowitdoesntgowithmoderndress.Itmakesonelookold.[Takesuphand
mirrorfromtableandlooksintoit.]Anditspoilsonescareeratcriticalmoments.

LORDWINDERMERE.Youfillmewithhorror withabsolutehorror.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Rising.]Isuppose,Windermere,youwouldlikemetoretireintoa
convent,orbecomeahospitalnurse,orsomethingofthatkind,aspeopledoinsilly
modernnovels.Thatisstupidofyou,Arthurinreallifewedontdosuch thingsnotas
longaswehaveanygoodlooksleft,atanyrate.Nowhatconsolesonenowadaysisnot
repentance,butpleasure.Repentanceisquiteoutofdate.Andbesides,ifawomanreally
repents,shehastogotoabaddressmaker,otherwisenoonebelievesinher.Andnothing
intheworldwouldinducemetodothat.NoIamgoingtopassentirelyoutofyourtwo
lives.MycomingintothemhasbeenamistakeIdiscoveredthatlastnight.

LORDWINDERMERE.Afatalmistake.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Smiling.]Almostfatal.

LORDWINDERMERE.IamsorrynowIdidnottellmywifethewholethingatonce.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Iregretmybadactions.Youregretyourgoodones thatisthe
differencebetweenus.
LORDWINDERMERE.Idonttrustyou.Iwill tellmywife.Itsbetterforherto
know,andfromme.Itwillcauseherinfinitepainitwillhumiliateherterribly,butits
rightthatsheshouldknow.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Youproposetotellher?

LORDWINDERMERE.Iamgoingtotellher.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Goinguptohim.]Ifyoudo,Iwillmakemynamesoinfamousthat
itwillmareverymomentofherlife.Itwillruinher,andmakeherwretched.Ifyoudare
totellher,thereisnodepthofdegradationIwillnotsinkto,nopitofshameIwillnot
enter.YoushallnottellherIforbidyou.

LORDWINDERMERE.Why?

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Afterapause.]IfIsaidtoyouthatIcaredforher,perhapslovedher
even youwouldsneeratme,wouldntyou?

LORDWINDERMERE.Ishouldfeelitwasnottrue.Amotherslovemeansdevotion,
unselfishness,sacrifice.Whatcouldyouknowofsuchthings?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Youareright.WhatcouldIknowofsuchthings?Dontletustalk
anymoreaboutitasfortellingmydaughterwhoIam,thatIdonotallow.Itismy
secret,itisnotyours.IfImakeupmymindtotellher,andIthinkIwill,Ishalltellher
beforeIleavethehouseifnot,Ishallnevertellher.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Angrily.]Thenletmebegofyoutoleaveourhouseatonce.
IwillmakeyourexcusestoMargaret.

[EnterLADYWINDERMERER.ShegoesovertoMRS.ERLYNNEwiththe
photographinherhand.LORDWINDERMEREmovestobackofsofa,andanxiously
watchesMRS.ERLYNNEasthesceneprogresses.]

LADYWINDERMERE.Iamsosorry,Mrs.Erlynne,tohavekeptyouwaiting.I
couldntfindthephotographanywhere.AtlastIdiscovereditinmyhusbandsdressing
room hehadstolenit.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Takesthephotographfromherandlooksatit.]Iamnotsurprised
itischarming.[GoesovertosofawithLADYWINDERMERE,andsitsdownbeside
her.Looksagainatthephotograph.]Andsothatisyourlittleboy!Whatishecalled?

LADYWINDERMERE.Gerard,aftermydearfather.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Layingthephotographdown.]Really?
LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.Ifithadbeenagirl,Iwouldhavecalleditaftermy
mother.Mymotherhadthesamenameasmyself,Margaret.

MRS.ERLYNNE.MynameisMargarettoo.

LADYWINDERMERE.Indeed!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yes.[Pause.]Youaredevotedtoyourmothersmemory,Lady
Windermere,yourhusbandtellsme.

LADYWINDERMERE.Weallhaveidealsinlife.Atleastweallshouldhave.Mineis
mymother.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Idealsaredangerousthings.Realitiesarebetter.Theywound,but
theyrebetter.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Shakingherhead.]IfIlostmyideals,Ishouldlose
everything.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Everything?

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes.[Pause.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Didyourfatheroftenspeaktoyouofyourmother?

LADYWINDERMERE.No,itgavehimtoomuchpain.Hetoldmehowmymother
haddiedafewmonthsafterIwasborn.Hiseyesfilledwithtearsashespoke.Thenhe
beggedmenevertomentionhernametohimagain.Itmadehimsuffereventohearit.
Myfathermyfatherreallydiedofabrokenheart.Hiswasthemostruinedlifeknow,

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Rising.]IamafraidImustgonow,LadyWindermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Rising.]Ohno,dont.

MRS.ERLYNNE.IthinkIhadbetter.Mycarriagemusthavecomebackby thistime.
IsentittoLadyJedburghswithanote.

LADYWINDERMERE.Arthur,wouldyoumindseeingifMrs.Erlynnescarriagehas
comeback?

MRS.ERLYNNE.Praydonttrouble,LordWindermere.

LADYWINDERMERE.Yes,Arthur,dogo,please.
[LORDWINDERMEREhesitatedforamomentandlooksatMRS.ERLYNNE.She
remainsquiteimpassive.Heleavestheroom.]

[ToMRS.ERLYNNE.]Oh!WhatamItosaytoyou?Yousavedmelastnight?[Goes
towardsher.]

MRS.ERLYNNE.Hush dontspeakofit.

LADYWINDERMERE.Imustspeakofit.IcantletyouthinkthatIamgoingto
acceptthissacrifice.Iamnot.Itistoogreat.Iamgoingtotellmyhusbandeverything.
Itismyduty.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Itisnotyourduty atleastyouhavedutiestoothersbesideshim.
Yousayyouowemesomething?

LADYWINDERMERE.Ioweyoueverything.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Thenpayyourdebtbysilence.Thatistheonlywayinwhichitcan
bepaid.DontspoiltheonegoodthingIhavedoneinmylifebytellingittoany one.
Promisemethatwhatpassedlastnightwillremainasecretbetweenus.Youmustnot
bringmiseryintoyourhusbandslife.Whyspoilhislove?Youmustnotspoilit.Love
iseasilykilled.Oh!howeasilyloveiskilled.Pledgemeyourword,LadyWindermere,
thatyouwillnevertellhim.Iinsistuponit.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Withbowedhead.]Itisyourwill,notmine.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Yes,itismywill.AndneverforgetyourchildIliketothinkofyou
asamother.Ilikeyoutothinkofyourselfasone.

LADYWINDERMERE.[Lookingup.]Ialwayswillnow.OnlyonceinmylifeIhave
forgottenmyownmother thatwaslastnight.Oh,ifIhadrememberedherIshouldnot
havebeensofoolish,sowicked.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Withaslightshudder.]Hush,lastnightisquiteover.

[EnterLORDWINDERMERE.]

LORDWINDERMERE.Yourcarriagehasnotcomebackyet,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Itmakesnomatter.Illtakeahansom.Thereisnothingintheworld
sorespectableasagoodShrewsburyandTalbot.Andnow,dearLadyWindermere,Iam
afraiditisreallygoodbye.[MovesupC.]Oh,Iremember.Youllthinkmeabsurd,but
doyouknowIvetakenagreatfancytothisfanthatIwassillyenoughtorunawaywith
lastnightfromyourball.Now,Iwonderwouldyougiveittome?LordWindermere
saysyoumay.Iknowitishispresent.
LADYWINDERMERE.Oh,certainly,ifitwillgiveyouanypleasure.Butithasmy
nameonit.IthasMargaretonit.

MRS.ERLYNNE.ButwehavethesameChristianname.

LADYWINDERMERE.Oh,Iforgot.Ofcourse,dohaveit.Whatawonderfulchance
ournamesbeingthesame!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Quitewonderful.Thanksitwillalwaysremindmeofyou.[Shakes
handswithher.]

[EnterPARKER.]

PARKER.LordAugustusLorton.Mrs.Erlynnescarriagehascome.

[EnterLORDAUGUSTUS.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Goodmorning,dearboy.Goodmorning,LadyWindermere.
[SeesMRS.ERLYNNE.]Mrs.Erlynne!

MRS.ERLYNNE.Howdoyoudo,LordAugustus?Areyouquitewellthismorning?

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Coldly.]Quitewell,thankyou,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.Youdontlookatallwell,LordAugustus.Youstopuptoolateitis
sobadforyou.Youreallyshouldtakemorecareofyourself.Goodbye,Lord
Windermere.[GoestowardsdoorwithabowtoLORDAUGUSTUS.Suddenlysmiles
andlooksbackathim.]LordAugustus!Wontyouseemetomycarriage?Youmight
carrythefan.

LORDWINDERMERE.Allowme!

MRS.ERLYNNE.NoIwantLordAugustus.Ihaveaspecialmessageforthedear
Duchess.Wontyoucarrythefan,LordAugustus?

LORDAUGUSTUS.Ifyoureallydesireit,Mrs.Erlynne.

MRS.ERLYNNE.[Laughing.]OfcourseIdo.Youllcarryitsogracefully.You
wouldcarryoffanythinggracefully,dearLordAugustus.

[WhenshereachesthedoorshelooksbackforamomentatLADYWINDERMERE.
Theireyesmeet.Thensheturns,andexitC.followedbyLORDAUGUSTUS.]

LADYWINDERMERE.YouwillneverspeakagainstMrs.Erlynneagain,Arthur,will
you?
LORDWINDERMERE.[Gravely.]Sheisbetterthanonethoughther.

LADYWINDERMERE.SheisbetterthanIam.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Smilingashestrokesherhair.]Child,youandshebelongto
differentworlds.Intoyourworldevilhasneverentered.

LADYWINDERMERE.Dontsaythat,Arthur.Thereisthesameworldforallofus,
andgoodandevil,sinandinnocence,gothroughithandinhand.Toshutoneseyesto
halfoflifethatonemaylivesecurelyisasthoughoneblindedoneselfthatonemight
walkwithmoresafetyinalandofpitandprecipice.

LORDWINDERMERE.[Movesdownwithher.]Darling,whydoyousaythat?

LADYWINDERMERE.[Sitsonsofa.]BecauseI,whohadshutmyeyestolife,came
tothebrink.Andonewhohadseparatedus

LORDWINDERMERE.Wewereneverseparated.

LADYWINDERMERE.Wenevermustbeagain.OArthur,dontlovemeless,andI
willtrustyoumore.Iwilltrustyouabsolutely.LetusgotoSelby.IntheRoseGarden
atSelbytherosesarewhiteandred.

[EnterLORDAUGUSTUSC.]

LORDAUGUSTUS.Arthur,shehasexplainedeverything!

[LADYWINDERMERElookshorriblyfrightenedatthis.LORDWINDERMERE
starts.LORDAUGUSTUStakesWINDERMEREbythearmandbringshimtofrontof
stage.Hetalksrapidlyandinalowvoice.LADYWINDERMEREstandswatching
theminterror.]Mydearfellow,shehasexplainedeverydemmedthing.Weallwronged
herimmensely.ItwasentirelyformysakeshewenttoDarlingtonsrooms.Calledfirst
attheClub factis,wantedtoputmeoutofsuspenseandbeingtoldIhadgoneon
followednaturallyfrightenedwhensheheardalotofuscomingin retiredtoanother
room Iassureyou,mostgratifyingtome,thewholething.Weallbehavedbrutallyto
her.Sheisjustthewomanforme.Suitsmedowntotheground.Alltheconditionsshe
makesarethatweliveentirelyoutofEngland.Averygoodthingtoo.Demmedclubs,
demmedclimate,demmedcooks,demmedeverything.Sickofitall!

LADYWINDERMERE.[Frightened.] HasMrs.Erlynne?

LORDAUGUSTUS.[Advancingtowardsherwithalowbow.]Yes,LadyWindermere
Mrs.Erlynnehasdonemethehonourofacceptingmyhand.

LORDWINDERMERE.Well,youarecertainlymarryingaverycleverwoman!
LADYWINDERMERE.[Takingherhusbandshand.]Ah,youremarryingavery
goodwoman!

CURTAIN

THEEND