chapter

first w o r k o u t
u n d e r s t a n d i n g our
p e r f e c t i o n and
imperfection

YOU'VE BEEN TO THE INTRODUCTORY MEETINGS WITH THE COACHING STAFF,

learned about the training regimen, and prepared yourself for the sea
son now is the rime to actually show up for the first day o f practice!
The only thing you know co anticipate is that its impossible co antici
pate whats going co happen. But you've psyched yourself up, and
you're ready co begin. Lets see wliat the coach says.
The first workout is about coming to terms with the realicy o f who
we arc as hum an beings created in the image and likeness o f God,
though marred by sin. This workouc, then, involves two stagesfirst,

83
4 WORKOUTS

understanding ourselves as created by G od; and second, understand

ing ourselves as people who sin.
Stage one is essentially a repetition o f the first principle and foun
dation. Focus on how G o d has created you for God'.s own delight.
There are three exercises at the end o f this chapter that correspond to
srage one_ spend several days simply paying attention to the theme o f
G ods delight in creating you.
Stage rwo involves an acknowledgment o f our original goodness,
which has become tarnished over time, like a silver plare that has lost
its shine or a painting that has become covered in grime. We come
before G od, the artisan, to clean off G ods original work o f art. After
you read this chapter, use the eight exercises o f stage two, also listed at
[he end o f the chapter. Take several days or weeks ro spend rime on
these exercises.

MISSING THE MARK

There was a young m an nam ed M ike who was getting ready to

bead o ff to college, a n d as the end o f the summer approached, he
was really excited. He h ad lived w ith his fath e r his whoU life,
an d both he an d his older brother, W ill were getting to the p o in t
o f needing some space by themselves. W ill had decided to help his
fathers business a n d so h ad not ever gone to college b ut hoped to
someday. M ike, though, was bold. N ear the end o f his senior year
in high school, he went to bis d ad an d basically said th at he was
having the follow ing fa ll, having been accepted a t the state u n i
versity in the business program . H is dadproud b ut also a b it sad,
said th at ofcourse he w ould help M ike out fw nncially. In fact, as
business fo r the pastfew years had been good^ his d ad really set
him up nicely.
M ike fo u n d his freshman year a lot o ffiw _ too m uch fu n ,
acuufUy, since he fo u n d the party scene to be more in u m th tg than
studying. H is weekends began on Thursday evening and usually
ended after the M onday hangover wore off. jib o u t m i/iway through
 FIRST WORKOUT 85

thefa ll semester, M ike started to realize that hed rim out ofcash
before the end o f the year, an d he started to get little concerned.
He fo u n d O n eveningjo b offcam pus a t a local grocery store, m aking
m inim um wage, a n d it bored him to death. H is grades continued to
suffer, even as he kept up his social life. By the end o f the semester,
he h ad faile d out o f school a n d had to move out o f the residence
b a ll He was too embarrassed to go home to bisfather, so he stayed
a t a jrim d 's off-campus apartm ent during the w inter breaks till
w orking a t the supermarket. He was miserable a ll hisfriends had
gone home, he was short on money, worked a boringjob, a n d bad
squandered his chance a t the university.
EventiuiUy M ike decided hed had enough an d w ould go back
home. He e-mailed his dad, saying bed be on the next bus, but
d idn't say much more than that. When he arrived a t the bus station,
his d ad was there, happy see him after m any months. They
headed home, a n d M ike saw his brother W illfo r thefirs t tim e in a
wbiU, too. H is d ad remarked that they were havh g a New Years
Day bow lparty a n d u>u id invite some o f the neighbors in the area
whose kids were also students a t the university theirfo o tb all team
was in the Orange Bow l this year, so it was a pretty big deal D ad
ordered lots o f food a n d drinksfo r everyone arid was happy to talk
about how his son was student a t the university.
M ike had a great tim e a t the partyeven though hefe lt
strange cheering on the team from the very university he'djustfa ile d
out of. He told bis d ad about the semester, fearing that hed be
angry, but bis dttd was really great about it. He d id n t criticize
M ike or make him feel bad butju s t told M ike he was g lad to see
him home again.
W ill was pretty upset here was a party a ll about M ike and
his school even though M ike had wasted his tim e there. He couUnt
undem and why his dad w ould let M ike o ff so easily. W ill had never
even had the chance to go to college^ an d he knew That M ike was
more o f a screwup than he was. He later told bis d/id about this.
D ad ju st replied that it tvasnt a reflection on W ill but, rather, a
chance to let M ike know that his dad s till loved him .
IS WORKOUTS

This story is a version o f the parable o f the prodigal son (Lk 15).
M any people have heard the parable, and for this reason often dont
pay attention to what its about. W hat I want to su^esr is that it gives
us a useful model for understanding mUsing the mark and therefore
for understanding how our spiritual lives must involve recognizing
how we muse change.
The word prodigal means ,,exce5sivc,> someone who spends roo
much. Some commentators have suggested that it is the father who is
prodigal, tor he spends too much on rhe son who didnt deserve ir. In
rhe parable, Jesus describes G od this way, always seeking out the one
who has gone away and chosen ( return. G od rhe Father is eager to
welcome back those who have missed che mark and loves to cclebrace
our return lavishly. W e have nothing to fear from deciding to make a
change back ro God.
This idea is so important because everyone finds himself or herself
in a posirion like M ikes at some poinr in life. Ic is worth observing
rhat M ike is not an evil person; at no point docs he choose anything
malicious. O n the contrary, he is someone who just wants to have a
good time; this is the way Jesus describes the prodigal son. I think
everyone can identify w ith the experience o f m aking choices that
seem good and harmless, only to find out later that they arc destruc
tive, either to ourselves or to someone else. It is at these moments of
our lives that the notion o f missing the mark makes sense. We have
tried to live right and make reasonable choices, but it seems that, at
some point, we have gotten off track. W e have missed the mark we
have missed the will o f God.
The first workout is about understanding the first principle and
foundation, and, at the same time, recognizing our tendencies coward
sin. So as you come to have a better understanding o f the foundation,
ask G od to help you recognize the choices in your life char contribute
to your missing the mark. Ask for the understanding o f the pain you
have caused yourself and others, so that you might have better insight
into avoiding bad choices in the future.
Sin i$ one o f those topics that turn a lot o f people off, so it may be
helpful to take a m om ent to put Ignatiuss ideas in some context.
 FIRST WORKOUT 87

M any arc familiar with the graphic descriptions o f sin and hell that
we see, for example, in paintings or stories from centuries ago. I think
o f Michelangelos fresco The Last Judgm ent on rhe wall o f rhe Sistine
Chapel, a towering imaginative depiction o f the consequences o f sin.
In this picture, we see horrible demons literally grabbing and dragging
unrepentant sinners inro rhe fires o f hell, while the sinners shriek in
horrible agony. Its an intense and terrifying picture, consistent with
the depictions o f hell in famous works like Danres Inferno or M iltons
Paradise Lost. All o f these works, which have had a great influence on
Western ideas about sin and hcl), were produced around rhe rime
Ignatius was writing and s u re s t something o f the way people then
thought about these topics. As a product o f that era, Ignarius, roo,
was very influenced by rhese ideas, and so his sometimes graphic
descriptions o f sin can be frightening.
In the context o f imaginative spiritual exercises, these depictions,
which seem us macabre and even distasteful, begin to make sense.
I f im agination helps us co more realistically confront things, then
imagination about sin is no different. I think that these depictions
were seen as attempts to help people confront the reality o f their bad
decisions, evil choices, thoughtless actions, spiteful words, careless
attitudes. I hey put pictures to the outcomes o f sin, making people
really chink abour rhe consequences o f what they did.
Today, in a culture o f visual saturation (movies, TV, magazines,
billboards, photographs, etc.), we need not imagine anything its ail
done for us. O u r deepest em otions o f fear, horror, sadness, and
despair, as well as hope, love, joy, and happiness, arc easily portrayed
in various media. W c donr need ro think about these things, because
our thoughts are already available in attractive ways for us ro con
sume prepackaged pathos.
O ne writer described how he would bring ro his college class rwo
types o f writing. O n e was a poem, exquisitely penned by a well-
known American poet o f rhe twentieth century; the other, a short
prose synopsis o f the poem. He asked the class which writing they
preferred, and inevitably they chose the second. The first one, they
said, was too hard ro understand. The writer, com m enting on this
S8 WORKOUTS

phenomenon, suggested simply thac reading a poem rook more think

ing and that the students did not want to make the effort ro under
stand the poem.
Often, I think, our attitudes toward sin arc similar. W e don't want
t confront the difficult problem o f sin in our lives, as it manifests
itself in our relationships to G od and others. We would rather com
ment on what is wrong with The world, because its easier to respond
ro a news story rhan to the problems in our souls. Seldom do we con
front rhat there is something deeply flawed about ourselves. Ignatius's
contemporaries, I chink, were much more w illing to confront this
trurh. They applied (heir imagination, as did Ignatius, t o
he reality
and consequences o f sinand created elaborate images for its destruc
tive influence. Sin wrecks hum an beings, rhey said_ it desrroys the
very beauty that is G o d s creation.
Honesty demands char we confront the truth that sometimes our
choices have hurt people and rhat the failure to alter these choices
makes us lesser persons. As we progress through this second stage o f the
first workout, Ignatius asks us to imagine the effects o f our sins. This
consideration o f how we have missed rhe mark is vitally important if
we are to make progress in our spiritual lives. The earlier a n a lo g of a
coach critiquing an athletes performance is helpfi.il ro keep in the back
o f your m ind as you go through chis pare o f the workout: if we dont
understand how we arc doing things wrong, we w u ever improve.

SIN

The story o f Adam and Eve is an imaginative account o f the original

sin o f humanity: disobeying God. Consider what it suggests about the
way hum an beings fall into sin.

Now the serpent was more subtle than nny other w ild creature that
the Lord God bad made. He said tl)e woman, D U i God say,
'You shall not eat o f any tree ofthe gardenT A nd the woman said
to the serpentaWg may eat ofthe fr u it o f the trees o f the garden;
 FIRST WORKOUT 8S

b ut God said, 'You shall not ear ofthe fr u it o f the tree which is in
the m idst o f the garden, neither shaUyou touch it, lestyou die.

Bur the serpent said to the woman, aYou w ill not die. For God
knows that when you eat o f it your eyes w ill be opened, an d you
w ill be like God, know ing good a m i evil. nSo when the woman saw
that the tree was goodforfood, and that it was a delight to the eyes,
an d that the tree was to be eUsired to make one wise, she took o f its
fr u it an d ate; a n d she aho gave some to her husband an d he ate.
Then the eyes o f both were opened, an d they knew that they were
naked; an d they sew edfy leaves together an d made themselves
aprons. (G n 3:1-7)

Note that in this story, the sin is not a dcliberare malicious act. In
some ways, it can be described as an immature choice 'this is how ic
is regarded by some Jewish rabbinic readings. O n e can imagine a
young child being deceived by an older brother or sister in a similar
way. The older .sibling says, Sure you can cat a cookie now! M om
w o nt m ind! A nd the younger sibling believes it because he or she
wanes to. 1 his idea o f sin being a deliberate choice ro believe what we
w ant ro believe is very suggestive. In w hat ways have you made
choices in your life based on something you wanted ro believe? W hat
consequences exist because o f these choices?
The story moves 115 ro consider one o f the fundamental experiences
o f alicnarion h:u all hum an beings experience: that involving our sex
uality. The consequence o f [he characters sin, it notes, is shame about
their nakedness. Sin, it seems, makes them self-conscious; and
whereas before rhey were naively content with being naked, now if
makes them uncomfortable. This observation suggests rhat the very
experience o f alienation between man and woman is a consequence o f
sin. This is nor difficult co connect to ordinary experiencemen and
women have, over history, been alienated, and the mosr obvious con
sequence o f this alienation has been rhe suppression o f womens free
dom. Today this is still the case in many ways. O u r attitudes toward
sexuality have led, for example, to advertisers' glorification o f unrealis
tic images o f womens bodies; ro rhe expectation that womens sex
SO WORKOUTS

drives must behave like mens; to the widespread acceptance o f popu

lar pornography; and to the sclf-mutilarion practiced, disturbingly,
among many adolescent girls. W e live in an age and a society that has
rejected older norms o f sexuality, and wc are still in the process o f
developing new ones. W ith o u t these norms, many people arc hurt.
W c must consider how, even without intending it, our own attirudes
have led to people getting hurr.
Another provocative element in rhe story is the theme o f w ant
ing to be like G od. O n e theologian has su ^cste d that the key to
the spiritual life is understanding two things: that only G o d is G od
and that we h um an beings arc G o d s creatures. It seems that in
m any o f our choices, wc express our desire to be our own gods; we
want the power to create our lives as we wish, noc w anting to adm it
our dependence on G o d. M any young people, especially, feel invin
cible we w ant to determ ine the course o f our ow n lives, and
because o f the world we live in today, we have m uch greater free
dom than so m any others have enjoyed. It is easy to fall into the
trap o f thinking wc are self-reliant and that we do nor need God:
with so many resources at our disposal, it seems easy to feed our
spiriiual hunger. Eventually, though, i( becomes clear that no one is
capable o f filling every desire o f the heart. W c must consider the
role o f G od in our lives. Is G o d at the center or somewhere on the
periphery? In what ways have you taken G o d s role in your life? In
what ways do you need God? W h a t are the most profound desires
o f your heart?

DESTROYING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Consider rhe story o f D avid and Bathsheba (2 Sm 1112

. King
David had an affair with (he wife o f one o f his subjects and then sent
the husband off to the from line o f the war so he would be killed. It
was a deliberate, malicious sin on the part o f the king that G od him
self had chosen for the land o f Israel. G od sent the prophet Nathan to
 fIDST WORKOUT 91

confront David with the gravity o f his sin; and when David realized
what he had done, he repented. Psalm 51 is attributed to David when
he realized what he had done:

f i ve fnefey oti me, God, in your goodness;

in y o ur abundant compassion blot out my offense.
Wash away a ll my g u iit;
from my sin cleanse me.
For / know my offense;
my sin is always before me.
Againstyou abne have I sinned;
I have done such e vil in your sight
Thatyou areju s t in your sentence,
blameless when you condemn.
True, I wits born guilty
sinner, even as my mother conceived me.
S till, you insist on sincerity o f heart;
h i my inm ost being teach me wisdom.
Cleanse me w ith hyssop, that / may be pure;
wash me, make me w hiter than snow.
Let me hear sounds o f joy a n d gladness;
let the bonesyou have crushed rejoice.

Turn away yourface from my sins;

blot out a ll my g uilt.
A clean heart createfo r me, God;
renew in me n steadfast spirit.
Do not drive mefrom your presence,
nor takefrom me your holy spirit. (Ps 51:3-13 N AB)

This prayer, called the Miserere in Latin, has been used in liturgical
settings for the purpose o f asking G ods forgiveness for hum an sins.
Everyone can identify with rhe senriment o f the song, for it arises out
of" the experience o f guilt. Turning to G od under this circumstance
92 WORKOUTS

can be frightening; it is never easy to acknowledge doing something

wrong and facing Ciod in our shame. For this reas' many people
avoid ever acknowledging guilt. They respond in anger to anyone who
might point our their faults, and thus they never give themselves chc
opportunity to grow as people.
In this first workout, it is vitally im portant to acknowledge and
name our sins. This is not sim ply a m orbid exercise designed to
make us feel bad about ourselves; it is, rather, an honest attempt to
idenrify those parts o f our lives that need improvement. N o one
can grow in any way, be it as an athlete or intellectually or spiritu
ally, unless he or she becomes aware o f mistakes and wrongdoings.
So the purpose here is ro become more deeply aware o f our guilt
and the negative effect it has on our relationship ro G o d and on
our abilicy co become good people. In this segment o f the workout,
then, our prayer (paradoxicallyis thac we might feel the pain o f
our sins. This is not an end in itself but, rather, a means to the
greater end o f resolving to avoid our sins in the future. I f we wish
to avoid mistakes, we must begin w ith the resolve thar they are
truly serious, and this resolve must be on both an intellectual and
an emotional level. In short, we want to develop a repugnance for
sin and a love for doing rhe will o f G o d. O u r prayer muse reflect
(he attitude o f the psalmist who wrote, In my heart I treasure your
promise, / that I may not sin against you," and H ow 1 love your
teaching, L o r d ! 1 1 study it all day long. (Ps 119:11, 97 N A B ). We
must learn to hate our own sin and love G o d alone.

GUILT AND MERCY

Imagine speaking directly wirh Jesus on the cross. As you do this, con
sidcr these lines from Scripture:

God shows his lovefo r us in that w hile we were yet sinners Christ
d iedfor us. (Rom 5:8)
 FIRST WORKOUT 93

Thus, sinning againstyour brethren an d w ounding their conscience

when it is weak, you sin against Christ. ( I Cor 8:12)

He him selfbore our sins in his body on the tree, that we m ight die
to sin an d live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been
healed. (1 Pr 2:24)

In this the hve o f God was made manifest am ong us, that God sent
his only Son into the world, so that we m ight live through him . In
this is love, not that e loved G od but that he loved us an d sent his
Son to be the expiation fo r our sins. (1 Jn 4:9-10

Grace to you am ipeacefrom God the Father an d our LordJesus

Christ, who gave him selffo r our sins to deliver usfrom the present
e vil age, according to the w ill o f our G od an d Father. (G a l 1:3-4)

As you imagine rhe scene o f Jesus on the cross, again try to apply all
your senses. Whac do you sec? W hat do you hear around you? W hat
arc the smells and rasres in your mouth? Wliac does the air feel like?
Now, as you look at Jesus, what do you say? Consider how you fed
about these questions:

W hat have I done for Christ?

W liat am I doing for Christ?
W hat will I do for Christ?

Speak whatever is on your m ind and later think about what these
words tell you about yourself.
This imaginative conversation with Jesus crucified is an important
part o f the first workout, for in it we are confronting the reality o f
who we arc before G od. It is the opportunity to honestly assess our
weaknesses, co come co greater awareness o f the parts o f our lives thar
wc must resolve change if we are to grow spiritually. But it is also a
chance to confront Jesus at his weakest momcnr, when (according to
94 WORKOUTS

Matthew and Mark) he cries out, uM y G od, my God! W h y have you

abandoned me?
It is easy for u$, living two millennia after the rime o f Jesus, to see
him as an abstract figure, distant and removed from our everyday
experience. To really imagine Jesus as a man suffering torture and
dearh can be disturbing. But this experience is meanr ro provoke us to
think o f sin in very concrete terms: what I do wrong is whar led this
man ro his death. I adm it that I find this kind o f meditation very dif
ficult. Generally speaking, our culture tends to avoid some o f the
more messy parts o f h um an life; we have developed particularly
unhealthy attitudes toward violence and death, especially. And so we
who are part o f rhis culture aren't accustomed ro thinking about suf
fering very much. In conrrast, people o f different times and places in
Christian hisrory were more interested in the theme o f Christ s suffer
ing. This attitude shows up, for example, in some paintings and sculp
tures that show Christs wounds with graphic detail. At the college
where I teach, there is one such example. It is a sracuc o f Christ all
broken and bloodied; it is so awful to look at that the sratuc is
adorned with a cape around all but the figures head. Most people I
know find it rather repulsive; it provokes a reaction o f disgitst, con
trary to what many think spirituality ought to be about.
In the context o f this workout, though, it is easier ro see why
images like the statue have been part o f the Christian landscape for
centuries. U kc the images o f hell I described earlier, this image o f
a bloodied Christ helps the person ro imagine what Jesus really went
through because he loved G od. It is easy to sometimes gloss over the
fact that this man was tortured because o f his faiihfiilncs.s to the will
o f Cod; we tend to more often think o f the risen Christ as someone
who has a blissful face and issues peace to everyone free o f charge.
O ne sad truth o f hum an existence, chough, is that violence makes
people confront reality. This became all roo clear to me as I have
reflected on the events o f September 1 2001. The violence that so
many people saw that day made them honestly confront both the
dark side o f hum an existence and the hum an potential for heroism
 FIRST WOttKOUT 35

and self-sacrifice. And in (his, the cross is similar: it forces us to con

front both the evil that hum an beings perpetrate and the nobility o f
giving ones life our o f selfless love. We musr see Jesus as one who, not
unlike the rescuers killed in the World Trade Center, suffered because
o f his choice to love.

PERSPECTIVE ON WHO WE ARE

This meditation naturally leads into the next important rheme; namely,
that we ourselves have contributed to the very evil that led to Jesus*
death. We roo are sinners; we roo have exacerbated the alienation o f
human beings from G od chat Jesus sought to reconcile. Thus, in this
prayer, we ask G od for an awareness o f rhe ways rhat we have helped
cause this rift. We pray for a kind o f catharsis, a state o f sincere sorrow
for all the evil we have done. And so Ignatius counsels that we imagine
a courtroom proceeding, during which the prosecutor gives a record o f
aJI our sins. As we listen to the prosecutor reading off the list o f rhings
we have done wrong througliour our lives, we are to consider what we
truly deserve. W ith these choices, we have slowly tarnished the original
beauty o f G ods good creation o f u$. We have taken a work o f art and
smeared graffiti all over it so that it is no longer beautiful. W e have
made ourselves less than whac we were intended to be.
In light o f this meditation, we can begin to get a different perspec
tive on who we are. Consider the following questions:

W h o am I compared co all the other people in the world? I

am one small person in a world o f billions o f people.
W h o am I compared to all the good men and women who
have gone before me: m y ancestors, whose hope was that
their descendants, like me, might live in happiness; the
lieroes and heroines who fought in many ways to secure my
freedom, my right ro autonomy the holy people who died to
pa-v; on the fairh rhat I have received as a gift?
96 WORKOUTS

W h o am I in the context o f the whole o f creation? O n e per

son on one small planet in one small solar system on the out-
skirrs o f one o f millions of galaxies. I am less than a speck o f
dust; 1 barely merit being identified as a single atom in a
speck o f dust.
W h o im I compared to God? O ne small atom on one speck
o f dust in the midst o f the whole o f creation chat G od made.
W har can I be apart from God? W hy has G od chosen ro care
for me?

We live our lives behind the camera o f our own consciousness, record
ing our experiences from this limited perspective. As the documentary
that is our life unfolds, we encounter difTerent people and things com
ing into the foreground and dropping into the background. Some
retain importance for a time; but later che scene changes, and we arc
somewhere different. Experiences change, bur our perspective remains
che same: we are in charge o f ihe production; we are the center o f chc
world. T his exercise reminds us that ours is not the only show,
though; in face, it isnt even prime-rime material. To us, our lives arc
the most important thing, but what is this to eternity? Consider wh.1 t
Job says to G od after hearing G ods diarribc against Jobs arrogance:

/ know that you can do a ll things,

an d that no purpose o f yours can be hindered.
/ have dealt w ith great things that 1 do not understand;
things too wonderfid fo r me, which I cannot know.
I h a/i hm n io fy ou by word o f mouth,
but now my eye has seen you.
Therfjore I disown w hat / have said,
an d repent in dust an d ashes. (Jb 42:2-6 N AB)

We must come to understand our lives as gifts o f G od at every moment.

W ith each breath we take, G od renews the gift. O u r very lives arc testa
ments to (he mercy o f Ciod; for while we have constantly sinned, (od
continues to give us life. Consider G ods words from tlic book ofMicah:
 FIRST WORKOUT 97

O my people, what have I done to you, / or how have I wearied you?

Answer me! (6:3 NAB). G ods crcarion is gift upon gift upon gift; the
world is charged with G ods grandeur, and yet we still choose to sin. Let
this medir^rion dose, (hen, with thankfulness co G od and the resolution
to become a new creation, a renewed creature whose original beauty tes
tifies to the glory o f rhe creator. ''Wash me, and I shall be whiier than
snow (Ps 51:7).

HELL

T hink about what hell means. Avoid simply rehearsing the images
from movies or TV, especially the kind o f horror-movie demons th^t
portray hell almost as somewhere interesting to visit for the thrill o f it.
Instead, consider whar a self-chosen absence from the love o f G od
would be like. Remember that in many places Jesus .speaks o f hell as
the consequence o f a life badly lived; and while the images he uses
were those accessible to a first-ccnrury imagination and might be iim-
iting, it is still possible ro understand something o f what he is exhort
ing people to choose: namely, the love o f (io d over sin.

/ say to you that every one who is angry w ith his brother shall be
liable to ju d p n c n t; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the
council, a n d whoever says, HYoufio lT shall be liable to the hell o f
fire, (M t 5:22)

Just as the weeds arc gathered an d burned w ith fire , so w ill it be at

the ebse ofthe age. The Son o f m an u/iU send his angels, an d they
w ill gather out ofhis kingdom a ll causes ofsin an d n il evildoen,
an d throw them into the fitnm ee o f fire ; there m tn w ill weep and
gnash their teeth. (M t 13:40-42)

Then [the king} w ill say to those on bis left, M

Departfrom me, you
accursed, into the eternalfire preparedfo r the devil an d his angels.
For I was hungry am iyou gave me no food, I was thirsty an d you
91 WOfiXOUTS

gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no ivflcome, naked

andyou gave me no clothing, ill an d in prison, an d you d id not
carefo r me. Then they w ill answer an d say, uLordy when d id toe
seeyou hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison,
an d not m inister to your needsV' He wiU am w tf them uAmen, / say
to you, w hat you d id not do fo r one o f these Uast ones, you d id not
do fo r m e.nA nd these w ill go offto eternalpunishm ent, but the
righteous to eternal life . (M t 25:41-46 N AB)

Jesus rclls us that hell is real; and while wc can never know who has
chosen i(, still this image reminds us that our life choices have ultimate
consequences. These consequences arc not arbitrary but, rather, due to
our failure to love G od by loving others. As you close this prayer, then,
ask Ciod to give you greater compassion so that you may show mercy to
other people the way that G od has shown mercy to you.

SUMMARY OF THE FIRST WORKOUT

As a man trained in the military, Ignatius was no doubt influenced by the

model o f training soldiers for war. Like boot camp, the first stage carries n
rheme o f breaking down our resistance. If wc arc to allow God ro remake
U5 in our original beauty, wc must undergo a difficult process o f break
down. The biblical image o f a gold refiner may be hclpfiil here: gold is
purified by subjecting it (o intense heat, thus burning away any imperfec
tions. G od too removes our imperfections, but this is never easy. W c must
confront the darker parts of ourselves if wc want G od to heal them.
This workout is about com ing to a strong, em otional sense o f
dependence on G o d , recognizing that wc alone arc incapable o f
reforming our lives without Cod. Once wc begin to understand how
much we need G od for our happiness, we are ready to move on to the
second workour.
 FIRST WOfiXOUl 99

EXERCISES IN THE FIRST WORKOUT

Remember rhe seven practices: gaining interior peace; practicing the

presence o f God; making a preparatory prayer; using your imagina
tion; making your requests known; engaging in a closing conversation
with God; and repeating whac works for you. Try ro a p p ly
hem to
chc exercises below.

Stage One

1. Meditating on Why You Were Created

('reate an imaginative scene in your m ind wherein G od is creating
you, "knitting you in your mothers w om h to use the language o f
Psalm 139. W hat is Ciod creating you for? W hat does G od particu
larly enjoy abour rhis creation? W hat ta.sks has G od put before you
in life? Im agine talking w ith Cj d about why you were created.
W hat does G od say?

2. Turning Your Liabilities into Strengths

Consider one element in your life that many would consider a liabil
ity, as in the case o f the blind man:

As he passed by, he saw a m an b lin d from his birth. A nd his disci

ples asked him , uR M i, who sinned this m an or bis parents, that
he was bom b lin d ?nJesus answered, "It was not that this man
sinned, or his parents, but that the works o f God m ight be made
manifest in him . " (jn 9:1-3)

Ask G od why you were created this way. How might the works o f
( i d be made manifest in you?
160 WORKOUTS

3. Discovering the Riches in Your Life

Recall the story o f the rich man and Lazarus. Pay attention to the
things that make you rich. Ask whether they also help you to praise,
reverence, and serve God.

Stage Two

1. Learning from the Story of the Prodigal Son

Read the story o f the prodigal son (l.k 15:11-32). Imagine yourself in
the place o f each o f the charactersthe prodigal son, the prodigal
father, the older son. W h at do you learn about yourself as each o f
chese characters? W hat do you learn abour God?

2. Recognizing Where You've Missed the Mark

Ask Ciod to help you recognize your sins as you pray over the story o f
Adam and Eve. In what ways have you disobeyed God? In what ways
have you missed the mark?

3. Confronting Your Sin

Read the story o f N athan confronting D avid w ith his sin (2 Sm
11-12) and D avids response (Ps 51). Pur yourself in the place o f
David. Notice (hat David inadvertently judges himself. As you imag
ine che scene, cry to focus on the feeling o f facing up to your sin.
W hat do you really deserve?

4. Speaking to Jesus on the Cross

Read one o f the crucifixion accounts o f Jesus in the Gospels. Speak to
Jesus on the cross, and pay attention to your emotions as you apply
your senses to the scene.
 FIRST WORKOUT !0f

5. Facing Up to Your Sin before God

Imagine the courtroom scene, in which all your sins arc read out
before G od. Try to remember details abour your sins: what led you
co your choices and what the consequences were (or arc). Focus on
what it feels like to face up to this sin before G od.

6. Gaining Perspective on Who You Are

D o the meditation on who we arc compared to the rest o f creation, as
described earlier in this chapter.

7. Understanding the Meaning of Hell

Create an image o f hell. Is ic fire? Eternity with someone you hate?
Loss o f something you love?

8. Making Your Confessi

Ignacius suggests thac a person make a confession at the end o f the
first workout. For some, this suggestion will mean seeking che sacra
ment o f reconciliation. The sacrament o f reconciliation is not, prima
rily, about telling someone your secrets. Like all the sacraments, it is
based in the recognition chat there is always some hum an action or
context within which G od self-reveals. In this case, the human action
is getting something off our chest or simply the action o f giving
words to something weve done wrong. (TVelve-step programs recog
nize this same basic need that people have to cell someone when
theyve done something wrong.) It is about nam ing our sins so that
we can ask G od for forgiveness. In the context o f the sacramental life
o f the church, reconciliation is about joining with all the other sinners
in asking G od co perfect us as individuals and as a community.