Somewhere Else

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SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Written By Adi Cox.
CONTENT.
Chapter One --- March, Spring 2017.

Chapter Two --- April, Spring 2017.
Chapter Three --- May, Spring 2017.
Chapter Four --- June, Summer 2017.
Chapter Five --- July, Summer 2017.
Chapter Six --- August, Summer 2017.
Chapter Seven --- September, Autumn 2017.
Chapter Eight --- October, Autumn 2017.
Chapter Nine --- November, Autumn 2017.
Chapter Ten --- December, Winter 2017.
Chapter Eleven --- January, Winter 2018.
Chapter Twelve --- February, Winter 2018.
Introduction.
Somewhere Else is a collection of dreams and meditations over a
one year period. Each verse is one dream or one meditation that I
have remembered and described in verse to the best of my ability.
These surreal abstractions are often very surprising and they
reveal an unusual angle in which to see a place that is not here.
REVIEW
"This novel is, A,A,A. A,B,C. There is not even a word to describe
it!"
A channeled female voice.
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Chapter One - March, SPRING 2017.
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(Verse 1) The Room Removement.

(Verse 2) Two Pounds Fifty!
(Verse 3) The Multimeter.
(Verse 4) Into The Physical.
(Verse 5) Even Squared.
(Verse 6) I Sleep Out In My Car.
(Verse 7) Pub Lunch.
(Verse 8) ... Said The Vicar To The Rubbernecker.
(Verse 9) Bobby Of The Jazz Age.
(Verse 10) At The Hotel Strange Reception.
(Verse 11) A Dodgy Set Up.
(Verse 12) At the Prestwick And Yearly Town Annual.
(Verse 13) The Great Master And Baby Maker Opens The Doorway.
(Verse 14) Her Silence.
(Verse 15) In This Room.
(Verse 16) He Warms Up Inside.
(Verse 17) A Lack Of Resources.
(Verse 18) Preparation Is The Key.
(Verse 19) 'I Guess It's Out Of Date Then!'
(Verse 20) Wake Up!
(Verse 21) Getting on.
(Verse 22) Funny Bugger!
(Verse 23) Fun And Games.
(Verse 24) I Try.
(Verse 25) My Guilty Secret.
(Verse 1) The Room Removement.

We have seating arrangements, but the seating arrangements all
change. Someone is laughing because the settee is now up in the
air as I make my mind up where to sit, because my chair is out of
there now. The someone who was laughing has now sat up upon
the settee that is up in the air and I am just standing there
undecided about where to be?
(Verse 2) Two Pounds Fifty!

I am on the computer with Mark Book. Mark suggests to go out
and see the races. I am thinking about this as I am looking out the
window watching the races. There is a giant wire frame costume
man bouncing over a ramp in a field. I am not sure if there are
motorcycles riding around in that costume, but it is impressive the
way that the giant wire frame costume man is bouncing around.
"Come on, it's only two pounds fifty." Urges Mark in a persuasive
tone, but I am undecided, although I think that it is a good idea to
get out. I am vaguely aware of another event that is on. I do not
know what this event is and I cannot make my mind up about
where to go.
(Verse 3) The Multimeter.

I am with two other people, a lad and a lass. We are testing this
machine. It has several settings on it. We test out the ampere
setting and the volt setting. There are also three levels; low,
medium and high. I am concerned that if I hold the two
electrodes, one in each hand with the machine on the ampere
setting at a high level, that I will be electrocuted. So cautiously no
one gets electrocuted and we end up cooking some sausages with
this machine. These sausages are so black and overcooked that
they look carbonic. No one is eating these sausages.
(Verse 4) Into The Physical.

This lad is saying how he danced right down to the tips of his toes
and that he couldn't get backup again. I said, "Done that before." I
thought to myself, 'You're only young. Much younger than me.'
I had been crouching among many people. So many that I forget

so much now, but I remember there was a lass complaining that
she'd been pushed by another girl whilst playing football. I saw
her land on her bum as she fell down onto her arsey being,
because that was when she complained. Her name is Jade Good
and to be jaded is not good!
(Verse 5) Even Squared.

There were arguments, big problems with numbers and mental
health was a big part of this. I heard some people shouting
outside. We all ran out of the building. The building was like a
petrol station. It was such a flammable situation. I was thinking
that numbers related to the number four were the safest and so I
ran out into the forest in search of these such numbers. At any
moment I was ready to change my route, take another path for
safety reasons. The mobs of people were prevalent, dangerous
gangs were a need to avoid.
Rupert Holt had something to do with all of this, but I just could
not work it all out, it was a mystery to me and so I had just made
myself aware of everything around me. I remember Mick Boldham
being there also, but for the life of me, I just could not work it all
out.
(Verse 6) I Sleep Out In My Car.

I am driving my car at night in the rain and my engine konks out
and my lights go out as well, just at the same time. I am concerned
that I will cause an accident because no one will be able to see me
stuck on this road. All this just as the rain pours, it pours down
ever more hard onto my windscreen and all my driving vision is
gone. So I'm free wheeling my car up the curb and off the road
before I lose my momentum. This manoeuvre is partly on purpose
and partly out of control as I bump along to a rough stop on this
wild wet and windy night of darkness.
It is not until the sunshine morning when I wake up in my car and I

see that I am parked up on a lush green grass lawn. There is a
forest of trees surrounding this lush green field and of course the
long Roman road that runs straight and true through this forest
that I have been driving along. I can hear a blimp of an airship in
the distance and I look up through my windscreen into the clear
bright blue sky to see that the blimp of an airship is coming along
quite fast in the sky, as it gets ever closer to me. I can see that it
says 'Butlins' on the front. I watch the blimp airship intently. It is
becoming so close that I can see right inside it. The blimp airship
takes a dive, it gets ever close to me now. The blimp airship has
become so large and so near that I truly believe that it will crash in
front of me, into the ground, at such a steep dive it goes below
the ground of this grassy knoll that my car and myself sits on. I am
so expecting to see an air disaster, a cloud of black smoke rising up
and I imagine all the shock and the horror and the headline
papers, just before the blimpy airship comes back up above the
horizon in front of me. Miraculously it is safe.
Now I am concerned that I am on private property and that the

super rich Mr Butlin is personally onto me.
(Verse 7) Pub Lunch.

I am sat in a pub having a pub meal eating my chicken dinner on a
table by myself. My sister and my dad are sat on another table
having their dinner. On the radio in the pub comes on the track,
'Give In To Me' by Michael Jackson. I love that song with the guitar
playing by Slash in it. So I am listening to this song intently, really
getting a feel for it, but I can hear my dad talking to my sister and
the song is cut short on the radio. Before I know it other songs
have played and I don't get the full effect and enjoyment from this
song. There have been interruption, but the song is in my head
now. I can hear the words singing:
Love is a feeling,
Get it when I want it.
Give in to me,
Give in to me.
(Verse 8) ... Said The Vicar To The Rubbernecker.

There are four of us, me and these three women. Two of the
women are at the bar. Me and the other women tell the two
women at the bar, "We will meet you in the car." As we go off to
the car in the carpark outside. I am concerned that I am rushing
and cajoling the two women at the bar. I am thinking to myself,
'There is no rush ladies.' But I do not tell them this as we have
already walked away from the two women at the bar.
Previously I had seen the vicar. He was dressed in black with his
white dog collar on. He was with two large monkeys. One of the
monkeys had jumped on the vicar. It must have been almost as big
as the vicar himself. Nosily I was looking, I watched them overtly
as I walked past. I laughed at such a spectacle and so the vicar
informed me, he said to me, "He doesn't want to leave me."
(Verse 9) Bobby Of The Jazz Age.

Me and this other lad would go steeling. Back in the jazz age we
would go steeling songs. Minding the police on the street, on their
beat we would play behind their backs, eager not to get caught. It
was all quite exciting. All this music and sneaking about and
running through streets, but it all came to an end when I woke up.
At least we never got caught, our tunes were disguised so well. It
was just as if we were playing a radio, but then I had to go and
wake up!
(Verse 10) At The Hotel Strange Reception.

It was all a bit suspicious. I had caught the ginger haired lad in the
corridor creeping up on me and chucking a cup of water on me,
but much of it landed on him too. I got him in a headlock and I
said "Come on I'll get you a beer at the bar." My cousin Sue was
there in a wedding dress and she announced to me that it was a
surprise party. I guess I had been set up! My dad was there. I said,
"How did he get here?" I had just seen him a bit earlier
somewhere else. This was all a big surprise to me and as Sue was
making her announcements in her wedding dress. So the
spectacle was dawning on me and I was shocked to the core and
then my dad announced, "My dad was draughted out to
Mozambique and this was very rare." In a matter of fact sort of
way, but I really did not get the significance of all this. What is
going on?
(Verse 11) A Dodgy Set Up.

Sponge and his brother Coffin latch onto me and we hang out.
There is another lad too who I have a banter with. There is
something a bit off with these people. I don't usually drink, but I
end up having a rough night out with them. The next day I hang
around with the other lad who I was having a banter with. He is
just a young lad and he seems okay.
I am travelling back home now. I have my luggage. I am in the

shops and I am greeted by the police. There are two policemen
and a police woman. "Can we have a look at your bag sir?" Asks
the police woman and immediately I have alarm bells ringing in
my head and so I unzip my white bag and to my horror I see two
glass jars with brass weights and conkers in them. "I've been set
up!" I protest and I had been. 'They've got to be drugs. I am in so
much trouble.' I think to myself. "I don't take drugs. I don't even
drink." I proclaim, and the police woman sternly tells me that I
could be arrested right now just for the amount of alcohol that
she can smell on me!
I am silent for a short interval as the magnitude of this incident

dawns on me. 'I am so stuffed!' This is my disparaging thoughtful
conclusion.
(Verse 12) At the Prestwick And Yearly Town Annual.

I am at this gala representing myself as a business. I end up
improvising, singing my versions of the blues swinging out those
rhythms in the long grass fields to the sway of the wind. I can't
help but feel that there is a bias here somewhere as all the people
at the gala intermingle. I can't help but feel that I am getting a raw
deal. There seems to be some kind of disdain for me, but I am
right on! Singing those blues, improvising those tunes. Ain't
nobody gonna stop me! As I deal out my expressions:
Yo yo yo,
ching ching ching,
get a load of this.
Sing, sing, sing!
Lordy lordy lordy,

hordy hordy hordy,
haddy haddy haddy.
Ring, ring, ring!
(Verse 13) The Great Master And Baby Maker Opens The Doorway.
At this show I am talking to this man who makes wild claims. "I am
a great master and I will put on a show." He says. Sure enough
something happens. It is like a great vortex that comes down near
to us and a doorway opens up which leads us into a bright world.
So the man gets up off his dull bed where he has been resting for
ages and goes through into the vortex door to deliver his show
into the next world of bright light.
He makes babies. His twenty seventh baby is a humanoid pig baby

highly advanced. Later babies are other new species of advanced
humanoid babies born healthy and alive. I witness them asleep,
there are strange and new breeds. It turns out that he was once
Queen Elizabeth the first's dad, but now he is a great master and a
magician putting on this show for all to see and I am astounded!
(Verse 14) Her Silence.

I am helping a lass prepare for her act. First we go up in a lift and
then through a loft hatch in the ceiling of the lift. I struggle to get
up there and I am concerned about how I will be able to get back
down again later. She says, "I love to look across the tops of the
buildings high up on my own." I said, "Yes, that is nice especially
on sunshiny days."
Once we are up there I am surprised to see that we are at ground

level, as we can see outside through massive glass walls, pathways
and greenery and ultra modern buildings glinting in the sunshine. I
help her to prepare for her act. There are plates everywhere. I
wash the plates in a plastic bowl of soapy water as we have a little
banter. I tease her as follows:
"Well I will be going home soon. I think that I will put my feet up
and relax a little and what will you be doing? Oh yes, you will be
working your act : )" I tell her, as I look for a reaction from her. I
look deep into her face, but she is too cool to give a reaction.
There is no reaction. There is just a glint of awareness in her eyes,
a little smile and a silent determination to prepare for her show. I
am attracted to her at this moment, as I am ogling her young and
attractive face. I empathize with her and the effort that she will
need to make her act work. I feel for her, my heart goes out to her
now, in this silent moment of preparation.
(Verse 15) In This Room.

I am in this room. I have been chatting to Karen Brian. I want her
to go out with me. She has left this room and has gone to her own
room. I am hoping that she will return soon so that we can carry
on with the chat, but it has been a while now and I doubt that she
is interested. There is someone else in this room. They are sat in a
comfy chair, but I do not know who they are? This place belongs
to Michael Richards and he has gone out for the night. I decide to
jump into bed in this room.
There becomes a very bright light that shines into this room
through the window, so I look outside and I see a helicopter
landing. This is no ordinary helicopter because it resembles a
Rhinoceros. This is no ordinary landing because it lands as though
the Rhinoceros is running along in a curve and then to stop. This
man gets out of the Rhinoceros helicopter. I don't know who he
is? I don't know what is going on outside, but it is very busy.
(Verse 16) He Warms Up Inside.

There is a thermometer and I say to this man. "I can't read this
thermometer the fluid has gone to gel, because it's so cold."
"Let's have a look." the man replies and with that, to my surprise,
the thermometer is a bottle of beer and the man is drinking from
it!
(Verse 17) A Lack Of Resources.

I am at school and I am filling my plate up for dinner, but there is
not much food here. Mainly mash potatoes and gravy, but even
that is scarce. I go off in search of more mash and gravy in far off
places. I had to put my plate down for a while with the food on
and now I have come back to it, but there is some debate as to
whose dinner this is. I know it's mine because I stuck a fork in the
mash to stand up vertically. There is a line of people in front of my
dinner now and they are determined to obscure me from it. The
dinner will be cold now anyhow. They say that it belongs to
someone else and that the dinner is not for me. I feel that I am at
a loss. I am disappointed. A similar thing to this happened to me
yesterday too.
(Verse 18) Preparation Is The Key.

I am filling up the ovens with food for George Lucas. I don't know
how long it takes to cook the food, but I am just filling those ovens
up.
(Verse 19) 'I Guess It's Out Of Date Then!'

I am in the decks of an old fashioned sailing ship with royalty. It is
all dark wood interior apart from a dark one way glass wall facing
the bow of the ship, so that people can watch us, keep an eye on
us without us knowing. Our supplies are low and so we are looking
for what food supplies we have. This man finds a pig on a spit
roast. He slams it on the table so that everyone turns around to
look. The queen looks over and says, "What is the date on it?"
"The fifteenth." The man replies whilst shaking his head in

disappointment, as he leans on the table.
(Verse 20) Wake Up!

I meet with this other lad and we are wandering around town,
before we go to this meeting place. It is more like a flat with a
living room and a settee in it. This flat has a small kitchen area and
a toilet. I have made myself at home here, so much so that I am
surprised when this man appears with his I.D. badge on a string
dangling around his neck. He dumps some equipment off in the
middle of the living room. He doesn't really acknowledge me sat
there on the settee as he is intent on what he is doing. Before I
know it the living room has become cluttered with mechanical
equipment. The man has left and there is just a woman who has
arrived in the kitchen and myself there now. I watch her as she
gets a bottle of milk out of the fridge, makes an indentation and
takes the silver foil top off.
I need to use the toilet and so I make my way through the clutter
of machinery in search of a toilet. I notice a small room with blue
patterned tiles so old as to be Victorian. 'Is that where the toilet is
or is it a kitchen?' I am thinking, 'Yes this is the toilet, but I am not
going to be able to use it. I really need to wake up.' I am still stood
there for a while trying to make my mind up. 'No, seriously, I need
to wake up and go to the toilet!'
(Verse 21) Getting on.

I have been travelling, but now I have arrived at this woman's
house. I have never met her before and I walk right in. I say to her,
"Shall we get on with this?" So as I apply she is happy to comply
with my creams and lotions for the vulvae area.
(Verse 22) Funny Bugger!

I am at this meeting. Just a normal random everyday meeting. We
adjourn for a break. I am off to get a seat on this old bench with
some of the other meeting guests. We are just deciding where we
all sit on this bench and one chap says to me, "Do you want to sit
on the end or in the middle of the bench? My understanding is
that there is no middle."
"Not if you sit in a circle." is my instant reply and I wonder, 'Just
what did he mean?' I look across the room and I see that Brian
May is sat across the room with his feet up and I am thinking to
myself, 'When I get the chance, I want to have a chat with him
about guitars.'
So later on Brian May walks over to me, but it's not Brian May. It's
just someone who looks a lot like him and he says to me in a
broad Yorkshire accent, "A think tha plays guitar dunt tha?"
"Yes." I reply, as I look at his Brian Mayish face and I think. 'He's
not quite a Brian May.' I am also aware that this is a bit of a show
now and that there are hundreds of people listening and watching
me. It's like a talk show with Brian Mayish.
"Would tha be willin ta play a little?" Brian asks me searchingly.
"Yeah, yeah." Is my immediate response. I have a quick think and I

really would like to play guitar because I feel that I am ready for
this. "Yes I would like to play." I confirm to Brian again.
I am quizzed by Brian. "Are ya shoower that ya only want to play a

little?" And this microphone is held to my mouth.
"Errr, 'O' I don't know?" I'm thinking, 'what have I said?' As the
audience laugh at my pondering. I feel a bit silly for a split second
and then I laugh with the audience at my hesitation. 'I think that
he was trying to be funny.' I conclude to myself.
(Verse 23) Fun And Games.

I had said to Sponge and the rest of them that I was going upstairs
to walk around the toy shop. "Yes, yes, that's fine." They said, but I
thought, 'should I be doing this?' I know that there was a big hoo-
ha about little Katie wandering around this toy shop on her own
with a full packet of chocolate digestive biscuits to herself!
So I am upstairs in this toy shop and I am watching people from

this balcony at the top of the stairs. I am looking down on people
and I am totally free as I wander this toy shop.
(Verse 24) I Try.

Football is on TV. I find that watching football is all about how well
we can copy the football into our own minds. So I try to copy the
football well into my mind, but to try is to be unable to. You either
do it or you don't.
(Verse 25) My Guilty Secret.

We are under gunfire. There are three of us and two cars which
are, more or less parked back to back on the freeway. The boot
doors are open up above our heads for some protection. I do not
have a gun but they do. They are Iraqi men in uniform. They have
dark skins and they are smartly dressed in their light uniforms. We
are rocked by big explosions as we get our heads down. I am
pointing out the helicopter's above us which fly between the high
buildings. I also notice a sniper and I point him out to one of the
men with a gun. To my surprise they both shoot each other! I
didn't think that that was possible. I keep my eye on the sniper
after the shooting to make sure that he is dead. It is after this that
I notice that the man who shot him is also dead!
Now I am back in town with the people. The busy shops and the
food bars, but I feel guilty. I am cautious as to what I say to people
now. I have left a dead man lying on the freeway. This is the man
that has helped me to survive and this is my guilty secret, but
what was I to do?
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Chapter Two - April, SPRING 2017.
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(Verse 26) Doing The Rounds.

(Verse 27) Borrow The Banker.
(Verse 28) All In A Jiffi.
(Verse 29) Impress Me.
(Verse 30) She Missed The Boat.
(Verse 31) A Pocket Full Of Keys.
(Verse 32) Excursion At The Workmen's Club.
(Verse 33) A Big Stage In My Life.
(Verse 34) "Hello Is That The Zoo Please?"
(Verse 35) To Arrive By Comfy Chair.
(Verse 36) Military Madness.
(Verse 37) To Face The Icing On The Bun.
(Verse 38) I Don't Believe It!
(Verse 39) She And Her Friends And I.
(Verse 40) Down In The Hull.
(Verse 41) "Morning Edna."
(Verse 42) The Four Hour Rule.
(Verse 43) What Do You Think?
(Verse 44) Obnoxious Me!
(Verse 45) Geometrically Laundering.
(Verse 46) A Dream Hidden In Its Recollection.
(Verse 47) In Comparison.
(Verse 48) "Hello Is That The Police?"
(Verse 49) Convulsions Of love.
(Verse 50) Heal Me!
(Verse 51) Old Fool!
(Verse 52) "Some Gossip."
(Verse 53) There Are No Strangers Now.
(Verse 54) Shining The Light.
(Verse 55) Taking Us Back.
(Verse 56) The Plastic Baby Doll Machine.
(Verse 57) 'Grandma Don't Do That To Me!'
(Verse 58) I Am Choked!
(Verse 59) My Soapy Affair.
(Verse 60) Things Like This Don't Happen!
(Verse 61) Random Memory.
(Verse 26) Doing The Rounds.

I am out of my body, doing the rounds. It is like being dead and in
my light suit spirit form, but just not quite so high vibration. I have
this list of things to do, places to go and people to see. What this
is all about, you don't know, I don't know, but the information is
here for me to follow and so that is what I do.
(Verse 27) Borrow The Banker.

Borrow says that the debt is his and not his customers'. He tells
me that he is like a magician, but the people do not like it because
they do not get anything substantial. He has accrued and
accredited a customer database of debt. This trick is all done on
computer. The smoke and mirrors is all virtual, but there is nothing
in reality and this is why he does not lend. He is racking up a debt
as he is going around to people and he is borrowing money to give
to them. Every new customer is new debt and new money coming
into the system. There is a letter code, w for woman, m for man, r
for retired and so on.
(Verse 28) All In A Jiffi.

This is a standard call. Just going through the usual routine with a
delivery at this ladies, as I account for my actions. I am in there
and then I am out of there all in a jiffi.
(Verse 29) Impress Me.

I am doing all my sums and going to all the great lectures. Some of
the writing on the blackboard is in red chalk and so I have to get
up real close to see the numbers as I am colour blind, you see.
This is a big class of students and many of us go over to sit on this
long black upholstered leather seating. As we all squeeze up on it
we are all getting squashed. This is so much fun as I have a crush
on these two girls that I am in between : )
(Verse 30) She Missed The Boat.

Jenny has this appointment. I think that it is a college
appointment, but she ends up on a boat trip to this island. This is
a new town to Jenny and she is checking out the area. Some
woman has told Jenny that this boat trip is the only real attraction
in the area and so Jenny is checking it out.
Well Jenny has now missed the boat to get back off the island and
so she is stranded on this island and running late. She has rung up
her tutor at college to inform her about the situation. I am waiting
in the car for Jenny to get off the island so that I can give her a lift
to college. When she finally appears I find myself struggling with
all her luggage. I am struggling to put all these bags into a single
trunk which has wheels on it. It makes sense to me to put all these
bags into a single trunk as the luggage will then be easier to
handle and so it all gets sorted out eventually.
(31) A Pocket Full Of Keys.

I am travelling on this bus. It is dark outside and difficult to see my
stop. I manage to climb down the stairs from the top deck and get
off the bus. There is a key that I use at the bus stop that I get off. I
am not sure if I have the right key. I don't even know why I have to
use this key. I walk off and I am disoriented. There are youths in
the dark streets and I find that I am walking in the wrong direction
and so I correct myself.
I find myself in someone's bedroom with a group of other people

and I am searching my pockets for keys. I take out all my keys. I
empty out my pockets and I am looking for the bus stop key, but
to no avail. 'Did I leave my key in the bus stop?' I wonder. So I have
the contents of my pockets out on this single bed and I notice that
under the covers of this bed are loads of coins. I can feel these
coins through the bedding, but I don't take the covers off because
it is not my money. It's not my bedding or bed or bedroom. I feel
uneasy about being here, but that does not stop me from putting
on the bedroom light so that I can see a little better. I say, "Let's
have another look for this key." And one of the other lads who I
am with says, "Let's not have a look for this key." I kind of take his
point here. This key thing is a nuisance.
(32) Excursion At The Workmen's Club.
I am at the front of this queue to get into this club. People are
edging forward as the queue increases behind me. This is some
club when I get inside. It's all rough brickwork as the cement is
oozing out from between the bricks in the walls. There is
scaffolding and workmen in dungarees. I am fascinated as I watch
the workmen scrape the oozing cement off the walls and then
take down the scaffolding in no time at all. It more like falls down
with the workmen on it. The tonnes of scaffolding poles and
planks of wood come crashing down to the ground in a wave of
debris as the workmen ride the scaffolding planks that they are
stood on. Just like they are surfing the wave of noisy scaffolding as
it unfolds onto the ground, crashing and banging about. This just
leaves the workmen to stack it up neatly by the wall. They really
mean business. I guess that they want to finish early.
There are some other people in this club that I know, but I end up
doing my own thing. There is a bus outside and I get onto that.
Maybe someone else I know will get onto this bus, but I am not
holding my breath. There are a few of us on this bus and the driver
drives it a little way and then stops at a more suitable place to
wait for some other people to get on. I don't even know where
this bus is going.
(33) A Big Stage In My Life.

What's going on? I decide to leave the stage. It is at this point that
the stage seems bigger than ever, as I get off it and then into
where the crowded audience are there does not seem to be
enough room for them.
I see this other chap who I was on stage with earlier and I say to
him, "I have decided to get off the stage because I heard the word
'improvisation' and I thought that sounds a bit professional. I
thought that we might have to do Hamlet or something."
The other chap seems to be up for it and he says in a jovial voice,

"I can do that." And he poses as though he is holding an imaginary
skull with this false cheesy grin on his face.
It had truly been fun, my time on stage. The stage was so big that I
didn't think that I would ever manage to walk off of it! But here I
am and I find myself in the stalls.
(34) "Hello Is That The Zoo Please?"

"There's a Rhinoceros walking down the street! I think it's a bit
drunk. There's a man climbing out of its mouth! There's another
man climbing out of its mouth! Errr! He's being sick all over. He's
been sick on the first man. The Rhino's gone all floppy!"
(35) To Arrive By Comfy Chair.

Mobility can be an issue for many people. Recently three people
have arrived in hospital using a chair on casters to get around. I
see someone holding onto the back of their chair. Holding on
using it as a support to walk, slowly pushing it along the pathway
on its casters. It helps them to get around. Every now and then
they just nip around to the front of their chair so that they can
have a sit down for a while and have a rest. The doctors at the
hospital are all joking about it and one of them says that he is
hoping for a set of twelve new chairs to arrive tomorrow.
(36) Military Madness.

There are historical aircraft flying all over and I am mapping them
all out as they crash. There is one big old aircraft lumberously in
the sky, that reminds me of a moth. It is miraculous how it hangs
in the sky for so long. So big and so slow, it finally comes crashing
down to Earth and folding its great structure into an horrific dust
cloud and disturbance and debris.
I am told that the military have gone mad, taking over its own
people. Taking over their shores, taking over their shorelines, deep
in the oceans, rivers and even rivers in oceans. This is what I am
told.
(37) To Face The Icing On The Bun.

Ant and Deck are hosting a live TV show and they do their pranks
in the street. Well they just happened to do a prank with me at a
bus stop, but I am wise to it. I know what's what. The cameras are
hidden, but I know that they are there. So Ant and Deck come
over to have some fun at the bus stop. But I accuse them of
pushing in the queue. They don't prank me, I prank them. So now
they have to go off script, I'm telling them, "What's tha doin? Duz
tha Know thaz pushin in? Git back thee a!" And I tell them what's
what as I point my finger directing them to get back. This is what
you get when you prank too much. People get wise to you. Well I
have got wise to Ant and Deck.
In the second half of the show Ant and Deck have people in the
street making faces in the icing on their iced buns by scraping
some of the icing off. One lad gets off to a bad start. He scrapes off
too much icing to begin with, but then he makes quite a good face
in the icing on the bun in the end.
(38) I Don't Believe It!
I am on this crowded beach with family walking on the hot golden
sand. There is this young lass who keeps following me around.
'Why is she following me?' I am wondering to myself as I talk to
her, but for some reason I do not ask her why she is following me.
She is quite tanned and brown from the sun and in contrast her
hair is quite blonde from the sun. It is in a short bob style. Her
fringe is a very straight line which is not level to her eyes. She
turns out to be my sister!
My sister says, "I've got sixteen brothers and sisters in the

Philippines!"
"How come?" I ask her searchingly with a disbelieving frown on

my face.
"My husbands got brothers and sisters." She snaps back.
I find myself in this dark room. There is this music playing and I
have my back against the speaker, which makes the music sound
different everytime I move my back. I position my back so that it
covers all of the speaker and the music comes out muffled. My
back is pulsating and vibrating now. The M.C. is cool and fast with
the rap lyrics. There is this young magician making things
disappear and then reappear with his slight of hand and I am told
about this chap whose brain was damaged by his own broken
shoulder blade!
Yorkshire police in the nineteen seventies were instructed, when

using a truncheon to hit the elbow, collarbone, ankle or knee in
order to disable a culprit. So it is hard to imagine how the police
can confuse a collarbone with a shoulder blade and it is hard to
imagine how a broken shoulder blade can legitimately end up
giving someone brain damage. I am not a detective but I think that
this chap whose brain was damaged by his own broken shoulder
blade was probably bonked on the head with a truncheon.
(39) She And Her Friends And I.

We are all sat at this table and this lass she really likes me. I end
up kissing her as she really wants me to and because she is nice,
but she knows that I am not keen on a relationship with her and it
is an awkward situation for us both. We do not talk about this but
there is a realization, a body language. There are tears in her eyes.
I decide that I will not be staying around here because that would
be too awkward.
(40) Down In The Hull.

I just love travelling on boats. I am usually a lone traveller and I
never seem to find a relationship on my travels, but I do a lot of
people watching. There is one boat that is tiny and a crane lifts
your car and yourself in it onto this tiny boat and so your car
becomes the outside of the boat. This is just for a river crossing,
but this is one massive river to cross. There are other boats that
are bigger and I climb around them. It is very strenuous climbing
aboard and then down into the boats, but getting back out is even
harder. They are very deep some of these boats and so it is some
climb to get back out. I will not be doing this in old age.
(41) "Morning Edna."

I am talking to this woman and looking at the chem trail in the sky
that she has made. This is a clue as to what care she needs. I see
what is missing in the curvature of the white trail against the blue
sky. There are other chem trails too, other curvatures against the
blue sky. They are all important clues that I take notice of.
(42) The Four Hour Rule.

We are community care workers doing our rounds. I am just
checking to see if we can go on with this round. It is later than I
thought so we can go on, as I check the time on my phone. I am
reassured that there will be no medication error. You see there
needs to be a four hour gap between medication times.
(43) What Do You Think?

David Baddiel is talking to Frank Skinner and he is saying,
"Knowing the mind of an eight year old, knowing the mind of an
eighteen year old and knowing the mind of an eighty year old. It is
much harder to get an eighty year old out of hypnosis."
I am thinking about this Baddiel statement thing and my

conclusion is that he started off too young. There was no need to
include the eight year old. In my opinion he should have just
started off with the eighteen year old and then mentioned the
eighty year old. That would have sufficed.
(44) Obnoxious Me!

I am wanting to sit down somewhere. There is a chair with a lot of
chalk dust on it. It is the only seat available to me so I decide to sit
on it knowing that I will get chalky white jeans. "Oh bollocks to it!"
I say as I sit down, "It's only chalk, it will come off." I reason out
loud to a couple of other chaps who are also in the room. There is
football on the TV. "Fucking football!" I complain, although I don't
really want to complain, but I do. Then I justify myself by saying,
"You can't beat a good moan." I state it to the other two chaps
who have been suspiciously quiet.
(45) Geometrically Laundering.

I am helping this lad do his washing. You see we have to be
accountable for what we do. So I am making room on the window
sills and on the mantle piece for the washing. There are maps to
fill in too, but I am not sure how to do this. There is triangular
Britain and oval Ireland to the left and I am just wondering how to
fill these in so that we are accountable. I draw lines on the maps
and I elliptically stretch them, then hyperbolically shrink them yet
I am still undecided as to what is the best way to fill these maps in.
I end up drawing an equilateral triangle of red lines in an
elliptically stretched map of England. The three vertices of the
triangle are replaced by three small circles in the directions of
north, east and west. This is not even topologically correct, but I
guess that this will have to do.
(46) A Dream Hidden In Its Recollection.

I am in bed. I have been doing personal care. I am just folding it up
neatly now. There is much more to it than this, but for the life of
me I cannot remember. This moment is passing me by as I sit here
and this is how I feel about it as it leaves me like an evaporation.
I have had my dream and then as an extension of that dream I

have been mentally writing that dream down within the
conclusion of that dream, but nothing has been written down in
reality. I wake up to the evaporation of my dream memory. I only
remember that I have been doing personal care and that I have
folded it up neatly.
(47) In Comparison.
I get called over by a service user's family member. She is a middle
aged woman. "Have you got any diesel?" She asks me. I'm
thinking, 'God, that diesel in there is very old.' I go to the fridge
and sure enough, there is a small 500ml bottle of diesel. I am
thinking that there might be some gunk floating on top of it by
now, so I shake it up well before handing it over to her. She opens
up the bottle and takes a sniff, "Yes, that's okay." She says
energetically. This is a relief for me. "I have had a three million
pound meal, all expenses paid." She says boasting in a matter of
fact kind of way. So I take a good look at her. She is not
overweight, although she has a sister with her who looks similar
and she is a little thinner. They are in their forties I guess as I check
out their desirability. 'Not bad' I surmise, as I imagine making out
with them. The first sister is slightly more desirable than the
second sister. Her skin complexion, her brown shoulder length hair
and her nicely proportioned body are all taken into account, as
well as her nice facial features that I have just emoconically read
through our brief encounter. : ) : o
:p :| ;)
(48) "Hello Is That The Police?"

"There is a robbery taking place. This woman knows what she is
doing. She has a small pistol on her and she is very organised.
There is a man in a light suit and he is not so organised. He also
has a pistol. He has big handfuls of paper money in both hands
and some of the money is falling out of his hands and floating
around to the ground like confetti. There is this bloke watching
and although he is slightly behind some cover, it is only a hedge
and he is watching this drama unfold intently. He is carmly stood
there with a frown on his face >:-\ He looks suspiciously confident.
He may be security or he may be involved in this robbery
somehow, I don't know." Bang! Bang! ... Bang! There are gunshots
as the two run off.
"The female suspect has been well hidden from me, but the male
suspect has been in full sight to me all the while. The only time I
have seen the female suspect was as she handed some notes over
to the male suspect. There may be more people involved, I don't
know, but I haven't noticed anyone else."
(It turns out to be a themed marriage. This is a wedding

ceremony!)
(49) Convulsions Of love.

This lad is so young, maybe two years old, spouting off about race
relations. He is talking about getting on well with our fellow races
and he has got an audience. This little boy has got his voice and a
delivery style at such a young age. Where did he get it all from? All
the other little children around him are asking him questions and
he is preaching racial tolerance.
As I walk off I am taken aback. I am flabbergasted, as I think about

the young boy and all that he says. The paradox is that his love
and peace convulses my mind. So much so, that as I am convulsed
by his love I can see through his little boy goaty beard and his little
boy intentions that are so pure and so genuine that:
"I myself have got an aquarium going on in my middle path!"
(50) Heal Me!

There is a family walking along a sunny beach. The mother is in
front carrying a bag and then the father who is carrying a small
infant and then there is a little girl who is walking behind them
and she is complaining. Her father encourages her to keep on
walking, but eventually they all come to a stop because the little
girl is too upset complaining about her heal. The father looks at
the little girls heal and it looks sore. The mother says accusingly,
"That's because you have been walking her through that water."
Then she remembers her husband eating a peach as he walked
along the beach earlier and now she suspects that the little girl
has trodden on some peach. She telepathically transmits this
accusation by her frown that scorns her husband. He loves his
wife and his children so much and they are having a moment, a
moments rest of whispering discussions that bonds them all
together as a family unit on this sunshine beach.
(51) Old Fool!

I find myself sat up in this attic, but how did I get up here? There
are no steps to get back down and it is too high up to jump down.
The same old record keeps playing over and over again and like a
fool I am stuck up here, high on life singing out the same old tune,
reciting the same old lyrics.
(52) "Some Gossip."

"I saw this girl walking along and she is supposed to be with her
husband. They have not been married long and I don't think that it
is going too well. She is having to be told that she is meant to be
with her husband and she keeps putting him off. She was all smiles
when I saw her. She was on her own walking along clutching her
hand bag, but who knows?"
"My dad was playing football with me and he said, "Watch this, I'll
get John Coddington." At which point he booted a football and
blasted it at John Coddington. It was in this old house and I saw
the ball ricochet around the room after it had hit John. I don't
think that john was very happy about that because he looked to
be disappointed, although to be fair he did not say anything about
it."
"I have done some painting in a young girls room. I painted this
cloth with a picture on it. I half filled the picture in. I think that her
room is an orange colour scheme and I painted the cloth in a more
chocolate brown colour, but being colourblind I am not too sure. I
think that my paintwork clashes with her colour scheme and so I
have hidden the half painted cloth by folding it up and tucking it
away. I felt guilty about this and I am worried that she is going to
find out soon. Being the brave person that I am, I plan to just deny
it. I have already distracted her from finding out a couple of
times."
"Barbara and Les have been travelling. They have come back and
have planned to go away again, but because they owe some
money out they are having to stay put here in this country now,
poor souls."
(53) There Are No Strangers Now.

I've got no roof and the rain comes in. There are many others who
live in this field and they have no roof too. The field is sodden,
there are big big puddles as deep as your waist. TV's and furniture
are all wet through. It's a washout.
The strange thing is that I meet old friends who I have never seen
before. I watch these people and their mannerisms which are
familiar to me now and yet I have never seen them before. I know
things about these people and yet I have never seen them before.
How can it be that the people who I have never met before are
not strangers?
There are two brothers, one of them likes golf, I know this. I listen
to their conversations and they are familiar to me. I look at their
faces and I know them you see and yet I have never seen them
before. A past life familiarity is so much apparent to me now as
my memories from my previous selves come flooding back to me.
My memories pour down into me, into a storm of remembrance.
It floods my mind then with these thoughts I find that I've got no
roof and so the rain comes in, the rain has truly come in!
(54) Shining The Light.

I am ogling Sarah. She has changed so much, she is gorgeous now.
Such a nice bum, get a load of that bum. Her sister is also nice too.
Although I do not speak to Sarah I am weighing her up, I am
weighing up how I can go about chatting her up. What cool moves
I can make towards her, but I am dreaming, I am fantasising and so
passively and cautiously I do not make my moves towards her.
In the meantime I am watching this young black lad who is being

cute with another girl. He is really putting on the charm as he
sings her praises, he winks and smiles at her. He is loving the
interaction. How to chat a woman up. This is text book. This is
how it is done, but then after a while he walks off and he is as cool
as a cucumber.
So now I have this fantasy of Sarah who has changed so much

since I saw her last and now I see her in a new light. Although
Sarah has gone she stays with me and plays with me in my mind.
Sexy Sarah and her gorgeous body is wriggling in my memory with
those moves and with those curves that will not go away.
(55) Taking Us Back.
I am on the streets with a gang of lads. We have all got to get
back, as we play this game. The rule is that we are not allowed to
play on the partition wall. "It's a good job that we live near the
partition wall, or else we wouldn't be able to play this game." One
of the lads tells me. I am just trying to work out how we can get
back without playing on the petition wall and it is not at all
obvious.
(56) The Plastic Baby Doll Machine.

There are these plastic dolls being mass produced, these dolls are
formed out of a formlessness, it only takes two seconds. I watch
them being formed. They are blobs of melted plastic and then the
moulds come out like branding irons on piston rods punching the
plastic. First one side then another, then another and another
melting the plastic, moulding it into shape with a thump and then
the top of the head is finally punched into shape with such a crazy
speed as to induce a visual madness.
(57) 'Grandma Don't Do That To Me!'

The cat has an unfortunate name. He is called 'naughty'. Grandma
is looking after him. She only has one arm to stroke him with. This
day I see her slumped on her sofa, her hair covering her face.
"Grandma! Grandma!" I sound out to her and then after a few
long seconds later I am relieved to see that there is some
movement in her. Naughty jumps up onto her and then it is life
back to normal again.
(58) I Am Choked!
I cannot get this holographic game to start up, but then some kind
person comes to my aid and shows me how to start this ruddy
thing up. I am playing this holographic game in my sleep which is
the only way that I will play it because I don't play it when I am
awake. There are these dinosaurs and they are wandering around
in our three dimensional space. They are about as big as a small
dog. They are so real and they are ugly buggers too. The idea is to
spray them in their face, up their nose, in their eyes and in their
mouth. They will then eat themselves from their head first and
then down to their tail. I am really wrestling with this one. I keep
spraying it in its face, but it still won't eat itself and at the same
time the spray is going into my face too. I think that I must have
eaten myself because suddenly it is 'game over' as I wake up too
late, just as I swallow my own tail!
(59) My Soapy Affair.

Paul is a character from an Australian TV soap opera. He is a
businessman who dresses smartly and who likes to make deals.
Well he is criticizing the show 'Home And Away' or 'Neighbours' I
cannot remember which of these Ozzie soaps he is from. "All the
years of this show and there has never been a tax review." He
complains.
Sneakily I am in this room in the house where Paul lives. He loves

his wife and his lovely wife knows that I am there for we are up
against the cold white wall contodjulating in a secret passionate
fling. For some unknown reason I turn on the shower in this room,
but I cannot switch it off again and we are flooded. We are
inundated with water from the shower head. I try in vain to soak
up all the water, but there is not enough tissue in Australia to soak
this up and I am found out, me and Paul's nice lady are rumbled. I
protest my innocence, but to no avail and so I have a breakdown.
My clothes and I are drenched right through as lean up against
this wet white wall, the sunlight shines through the window onto
me then dramatically I am in tears, as I do a dieing swan act whilst
Paul's Mrs points her finger at me. I find myself washed out and
without any form of forgiveness. I am unforgiven.
(60) Things Like This Don't Happen!

This is North Hykeham, Lincoln, England and I am standing on this
street corner at Wetherby Crescent and Newark Road T junction.
It is night time and there is not a lot of traffic about but, I watch a
three wheeled Robin Reliant van drive up to this T junction. It
doesn't slow down. It is being driven too fast unable to turn either
left or right at this T junction. It careers over the Newark Road
then on up the curb stone over the path on the other side of the
road and jumps the grassy embankment of a small stream as it
careers on towards the brick wall of a building at the Forum
Shopping Centre. I am thinking, 'This driver is suicidal.' What
should I do? Impact is imminent, but strangely the Robin Reliant
van appears to shrink in size and so it seems to take too long for
the van to impact the brick wall. In fact it does not impact the
brick wall. It shrinks down to the size of a Tonka Toy and then goes
through a plastic grate in the Forum Shopping Centre's wall. Now
this plastic grate is not damaged in any way. My eyes cannot
believe what I see. This van has merged through the plastic grate
and my body reacts with a chill down its spine. I am astounded.
'Freaky things do happen!' I note to myself. Just at that moment
for some inexplicable reason I look into the deep night sky and I
watch as the starlight and the moon light kaleidoscope above me
and I am excited to see such a spectacle and I am more alive now
than I have ever been. It seems that my life has suddenly become
more interesting.
(61) Random Memory.
I have a memory that stays with me. I am a community care
worker in Mansfield and on my third call I struggle to park my car
because there are a lot of cars already parked up along these
narrow back streets of Mansfield. So I drive up the curb stone to
squeeze between two cars so that I park my car half on the
pathway and half on the road. I am aware of a tall thin woman
with long platinum blonde hair and she has a tan, which is rare to
have a tanned skin in England in spring time. You are more likely
to go rusty from the rain than to get a tan from the sun here this
time of year. The wrinkles in her skin tells me that she is oldish,
but somehow I can not place her. She is not a service user and she
is not a colleague. I do not recall any conversation with her, but
her presence is so strong and the visualisation of her stays with
me and plays with me in my minds eye.
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Chapter Three - May, SPRING 2017.
____________________________________________________
(Verse 62) The Sports Day Problem.

(Verse 63) As The Tabloids Spew Out Their Spurious Lies.
(Verse 64) Beyond The Board.
(Verse 65) A Beauty And A Beating
(Verse 66) The Shame And The Shambles.
(Verse 67) The Vagueness.
(Verse 68) So Special.
(Verse 69) A Lesson In The Metaphysical Trainstation Of Wonder.
(Verse 70) Incognito Or Not? That Is The Question.
(Verse 71) Play Time.
(Verse 72) Alpha, Beta And Delta.
(Verse 73) The Frick!
(Verse 74) The Barber And The Wig Of Hair.
(Verse 75) All the Crazy People.
(Verse 76) Fun At The Zoo And A Kiss From A Ewe.
(Verse 77) The Ever Satirical Everso.
(Verse 78) Boxes Down And All Boxed In.
(Verse 79) Tunnels Of Love.
(Verse 80) Musical Rounders.
(Verse 81) My Joint.
(Verse 82) A Little Perusal.
(Verse 83) A Soiled Pig.
(Verse 84) A Blind Disconnection.
(Verse 85) Tables Upon A Table.
(Verse 62) The Sports Day Problem.

The normal geometry of an athletics track is obround in shape. An
obround is two semicircles joined by straight lines. The inside lane
on the track is shorter in distance to run a complete circuit and so
the starting positions need to be at different points for each lane.
This athletics track is elliptic in shape. This is not the normal

geometry of an athletics track and I am challenged to find the
starting positions for each lane.
The cartesian equation for an ellipse is:
(x/a)^2 + (y/b)^2 = c^2
The parametric equation for an ellipse is:
x = acost
y = bcost
The arc length of a curve in parametric form is:
Integrate ds where
ds = squareroot[ (dx/dt)^2 + (dy/dt)^2 ] dt
The polar equation for an ellipse is:
r(p) = [(b.cos(p))^2+(a.sin(p))^2]^(1/2)
(Verse 63) As The Tabloids Spew Out Their Spurious Lies.
My dad is a sage and we have been travelling so far. We have been
travelling for so long, but he asks many questions. How do I do
this and how do I do that? He seeks the ways of a young person
and I can see what he is doing. He is a peaceful man negotiating
the ways of a traveller whilst the ways of this world weigh upon
him and his ways. So which way for this eastern traveller?
(Verse 64) Beyond The Board.

I am playing darts in the back garden at Rupert Holt's house and I
miss the dart board. The dart goes behind the dart board and into
the grounds of somewhere else. A place that I am not familiar
with. That I briefly glimpse with its mottled green and yellow
shrubbery. It is rustic and a far removed place from here. It is out
of site in a place that usually does not appear. There is no fence of
separation to this place. I have just a glimpse, because I am
suddenly once again fenced back in within the perimeter of the
garden of Rupert Holt's house, confined within this urban district.
I have been aware of the grounds of somewhere else. I have the
memory of this mysterious place that has now become unseeable
to me again.
(Verse 65) A Beauty And A Beating

This big ship has been taken out of commission. I am so proud to
have served on her for so long. It is not safe now because as I
explain to some people the chord that runs through her is not
being replaced and so this big ship sails for the last time
unmanned. With no one aboard she grandiosely goes on, out of
her way.
There is a young lass in a bikini and she is very pretty. She is in this
swimming pool that represents the sea. It is like a map of the
world with its islands that simulate the world map. This lass is
serving on a ship which is about the same size as her as she is
languid on it in her bikini she is sent to one of the islands in the
pool and this island is Argentina. I am there with Dean Wilson and
Michael Richards. Me and Dean are watching her from the side of
the pool and we are watching the world go by as we are chatting.
Michael is in the shower which is located just on the edge of the
pool behind a door just big enough for one person. Me and Dean
are standing there and we watch Michael as he proudly comes out
of the shower in his speedos looking neat and trim. He confidently
swims up to the pretty young lass, but she grabs hold of Michael's
big swimming goggle and she pulls it on its elastic and she pings it
in his face. Michael is shouting at her asking her to stop and there
is splashing and a frantic display from Michael. I turn to Dean and
in a surprised tone I say to him, "She's beating him up." We are
astounded. Michael is pleading to the pretty young girl to stop and
he is trying to calm her down, but she is nasty and unrelenting.
(Verse 66) The Shame And The Shambles.

There is a gathering at 'The Forum' of military personal and
someone is being hounded, they are being shamed. It is said that
he has got a medal or badge or something for killing his own men.
He is accused of friendly fire and these people are not friendly
towards him, not at all. There is so much disdain.
I am aware of this police motorbike, but it looks more like a push

bike to me. It has pads all over it. Black PVC pads they fold over
the frame and stick around it with velcro, but I gather that there is
an unnecessary piece of padding that has no right to be there. It
has been put on under false pretences and it is the pad right in the
centre. It has no right to be there and there is only contempt for
this pad.
(Verse 67) The Vagueness.

We have got the hard task of balancing the books. If there is too
much red powder, then we need more blue powder and If there is
too much blue powder, then we need more red powder. It's as
simple as that. You just have to keep a good look out. I saw Colin
Smith in a hood and we were discussing things. How they should
be. We discussed it with the vagueness, but we will dispel the
vagueness in time.
(Verse 68) So Special.

Sam Hammond and Everso (Jim Eversom) come round our house
they are like special cases. It is always a pleasure for me to listen
to them talk. I love their breezy interactions and I like what they
have to say. They go to a special school. Sam has this special push
bike. The handle bars are high up in the air, high up above his
head as he sits and peddles, but the most unusual thing is that he
can transform his push bike so that he can also ride it upside down
from time to time. This push bike has been designed like this to
make Sam feel good about himself, because like I say Sam and
Everso are not the most normal kinds of people and they are most
welcome around our house. I think that that is because me and
my dad are not normal too.
(Verse 69) A Lesson In The Metaphysical Trainstation Of Wonder.

There is this old steam train replica, it's big, about as tall as me to
the top of the chimney. It is a big black chunk of iron. The men are
putting a camcorder on the front of it to record its journey. The
men are all riding in front of the steam train beside the train
tracks on their chopper motor bikes that are all lit up, as it is
getting late and is getting dark now.
I am looking on the walls of this big train station place for a TV

monitor to watch them ride away, but I can't see one anywhere. I
notice some other blokes and they are all sat in a line on steel
frame stools that are all joined together so that they cannot be
moved individually. One of the blokes I recognize and he calls me
over. I notice a spare stool so I sit on it and I find myself working
from a text book. This text book is more like a magazine, but there
is a piece of thin rubber sheet with dimples on, on the front page
and mine has come off. I decide to put the rubber sheet inside the
pages of this book so that I do not lose it when I hand my book
back in. I am considering not handing my text book in and sneakily
gluing the rubber sheet back onto the text book cover and leaving
it in my locker to dry, but then I think better of it and decide to
hand my book in.
I find myself wandering around this concrete industrial train

station type place and inside a little shop I notice two people
starting a procession. One of them has an orange flag and the
other has a bugle. They are marching along together and I watch
them, but I do not join in their procession and I am wondering
about their egos. 'Do they have big egos?' And I am wondering
about my ego. 'Do I have a big ego?' And I don't know. I am just
wondering as I am wandering around this concrete industrial train
station type place.
(Verse 70) Incognito Or Not? That Is The Question.

We are escaping persecution, me and this black lass. It is awful.
Every person we meet, we don't know if we can trust them, by
good luck we have got on this flight out. A big fat man called Bob
flies us out from our persecution from within this African nation.
There are so many of us on this aircraft and we are so grateful. I
am trying to tell Bob how grateful I am and to my surprise he does
not want to know. After we have landed and we finally walk out of
this aircraft with our lives and our freedom intact I say, "Bob,
thank you from the bottom of my heart." I put my hand on my
heart and he just turns away. He is so genuine. He just does not
want to know.
So now I am talking to my black lass about who we can trust and

in my mind I just want to keep away, well away from everyone.
She is going on about her dad and about how someone was
listening to her reading a book out loud and I'm thinking 'What!
Do you always read out loud to yourself?" But I say nothing about
this and I am just listening to her talk and she talks. I am thinking,
'How the hell am I going to get away from people with this crazy,
lovely girl around me all my days?' But we are in a safer place now.
There is grass and trees and wilderness in this safe zone. It is still a
part of Africa, but I feel happier here. It would be so easy to meld
into this vast wilderness here to live out our lives incognito now.
(Verse 71) Play Time.

I am goofing around with my friends at school. We have drugs like
Ritalin in schools these days for those children who have attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). I have ADHD. My friends and
I we get these orangey berries and we are throwing them at each
other. I pretend that I am eating some and start acting wacky. We
go into these changing rooms where there are these benches that
have steel frames above them to hang our bags and coats on. I am
climbing these steel frames. I am upside down with my bum in the
air. I pretend to fart by blowing rasberries with my mouth. This is
such a juvenile fun thing to do that my friends are all laughing at
me and my naughty behaviour as I clown around making a fool of
myself. You see I have not taken my Ritalin tablet and there are no
teachers around to absolve me.
(Verse 72) Alpha, Beta And Delta.

It is such a small boat that it is just like a three seater settee
floating down the river. So three of us jump on and sail down the
river.
(Verse 73) The Frick!

I am meditating and I am surprised to see a translucent humanoid
being run through my mind and then out through my face. It all
happens in a split second. It is about as big as my head, but then it
becomes invisible as soon as it leaves my face. It has made me
jump. So who the frick are you?
(Verse 74) The Barber And The Wig Of Hair.

"Any chance to slot some hair in?" This question is asked because
a big wig of hair has just come out, falling from my head leaving a
tunnel of hair on the top of my head. I can feel the cool air breeze
on top of my head now. I am a baldy sat in a barbers chair, but I
am also the barber stood looking at my seated self and my hair
loss. So curiously I am two people. I can see where my old wig of
hair has fallen out, where it has been unslotted from my
diminished head of hair. Both of us inspect the hair of the one of
me in the chair, because we are each other. We are in the
superposition of being both of us at the same time.
(Verse 75) All the Crazy People.

I am having a moment with this lass. The strange thing is that
although I know her so well, I do not know her name. We have a
hug and we discuss a few things. She is so nice. We get on so well,
but that is when it all kicks off. I sense a bit of tension and people
are starting to move about. Sam Hammond is there with all his
crazy music. This is the man who I get all my crazy music from. It is
he who is at the centre of the fray. Not to say that he is the cause
of any trouble.
It is all getting heated and people are going crazy. Little things that
are said and done are being picked up upon. There is limited food
about now, although I manage to find some bread cakes with jam
in them. They have been stored in a brown paper bag and I am
careful not to be accused of stealing them. I am talking to Charles
and he has got it in for someone as he confides this information
with me as we are walking along. Someone is shouting their head
off in the distance and Charles has taken an exception to this.
"Who was that?" I ask and with that this other chap smiles and
tells me that it is someone singing some song from two thousand
and three. This chap recognises the tune. It all seems to make
sense to him, but now I notice that Charles has gone off. He is not
talking like he was, all since this chap has started talking to me. I
am guessing by
Charles's reaction that he does not like this man.
So now I am looking down at some crazy music that I have

acquired. I have a hand full of music that I think this lass will like. It
is all boxed up and neatly packaged for her. I am hoping that she
will like these gifts as I take a good look through the shiny
cellophane at the art work on these packages and I casually read
the dark font inscriptions on one of the boxes.
(Verse 76) Fun At The Zoo And A Kiss From A Ewe.
Aaahhh! A gummy mouth suddenly takes hold of my left hand.
W.T.F! This big dumb animal gums my hand and drags me this way
and then that way with the suction of a thousand plungers. This
oppotunistic Alpaca/Llama/Sheep type thing is looking at me,
blinking its eyelashes at me and at this moment in time I am
concerned, I panic! 'Will I ever get my hand back?' So then with all
my concerted effort I pull back my hand and:
Thththlop! I have my hand back, wetter and shinier than ever

before. So then as I inspect my salivary hand I notice that Jenny is
laughing at me and taking the piss out of me. "Well I hope that
something grabs hold of you and eats you sometime... ...Or
maybe I don't." I reconsider my initial statement in a
contemplative and sulky tone as I look up at Jenny out of the
corner of my eye from inspecting my hand.
Awwwwe! A sudden big long cry from a thousand conscientious

voices fills my head like a choir, that acquires a constant low tone,
of a drone of condemnation.
Oooops! Did I just imply that I hope my sister does not get eaten
because it would kill the very thing that would try to digest her?
Yes, I did. Yes, I definitely think that I did say that : )
(Verse 77) The Ever Satirical Everso.

I have nearly knocked over this young girl in a wheelchair. I am
driving this coach. I don't even know why I am driving this coach.
It is a real nice white coach and I do this crazy manoeuvre. It is
something more like what a skateboard would do! The strange
thing is that I did not even know that I was the driver of the coach
until after the incident. It was a real shock to me. So I am guessing
that this coach must be an automatic. This young girl is crying. She
is sat in her wheelchair sobbing her heart out. I go up to her and I
apologise to her. I notice that she has old wounds and scares and
massive damage to her body. 'I didn't do that.' I am thinking to
myself. I am relieved that I did not hit her, but she is very
unforgiving towards me for my crazy driving and so I back off.
I find myself at this party. The guests are all in fancy dress. I am
fascinated with one person who is throwing bits of paper, because
a bit of paper lands on me and I trace it back to them. They have
this massive head mask on with a great big nose. It looks so
lightweight sat on this persons head. I guess that it is made from
foam rubber. They could be male or female, I just don't know, but
they are oblivious to me as they are sat chatting with their friends
just above me on the veranda. Everso's sister makes an
appearance, she comes up to me chatting away to me. She has a
white face of makeup and her blonde hair is held back by her
yellow hair band. She looks like a very theatrical Alice in
Wonderland. She tells me that she is living here where the party
is. I try to engage with her, but for some reason tonight I am at a
loss for words. It is only now, by identifying the exaggerated
features of the headmask, that I realise who the person is in the
headmask.
(Verse 78) Boxes Down And All Boxed In.

Here I am in the big warehouse of life. There are rumblings of
something big happening. It all starts as a flood. The water is
flowing. Boxes are being torn away from their stacks. Little fires
start up and then it just escalates from there on until the
magnitude of this crash is monumental. Everything is tumbling
down. The stacks of boxes fall at such a rate that I am astounded. I
fear for my life as I jump from the stacks of boxes just before they
fall, but I am exhilarated by this disaster. This is such a seismic
event.
I find myself in this safe zone of mezzanine floors, aluminium

panels and locked down doors. How I long to open the locked
doors, but there are three of us on lock down safe in the security
in the security of this metal box of a room. I make a controversial
statement, "We didn't win the Iraq war." And then Duncan Parks
says, "No, it is still going on." I take a good look at Duncan and this
other person in the room. I have so many questions for them:
I wonder, 'Are they really devastated by this disaster? Have their

lives been so great before this fall from grace for the
establishment? Has their investment in the status quo truly been
working for them?' Because I can categorically say that it has not
been working for me. I for one, I am ready for this change and I for
one, I am not unduly worried about the fall of the establishment.
(Verse 79) Tunnels Of Love.

Circles within circles with equal areas of colourings. For some
inexplicable reason I find myself in these tunnels of love. The
oesophagus, the circle-ophagus of love digests and draws me in.
Swallows me up with its geometry:
The idea is to draw as many circles as you like in such a way that
when the area within the circles circumferences are coloured in,
the areas are of equal sizes. Some examples:
circles(a,b,c)
a=number of circles
b=number of colours
c=number of circle sizes
EXAMPLE 1:
A circle within a circle.
circles(2,2,2) {x^2+y^2<r is colour1,
x^2+y^2<r/2 is colour2,
where r=radius squared}
EXAMPLE 2:
A circle within a circle, within a circle, within a circle.
circles(3,3,3) {x^2+y^2<r, is colour1,
x^2+y^2<(2r)/3, is colour2,
x^2+y^2<r/3, is colour3,
EXAMPLE 3:
EXAMPLE 4:
PROBLEM 1:
circles(a,b,c)
a=number of circles
b=number of colours
c=number of circle sizes
Give values for a,b and c where circles(a,b,c) has no solution and
prove that it has no solution.
PROBLEM 2:
x-1 circles within a circle.
circles(x,x,x)
x=number of circles
x=number of colours
x=number of circle sizes
Find a clear notation where the number of circles equals the
number of colours which in turn also equals the number of circle
sizes. Examples one, two and three are clues to this problem.
PROBLEM 3:
A circle intercepting another circle of equal size.
circles(2,3,1) {?}
clue:
circles(2,3,1) {circle1[+ve sqrt(r-x^2),-ve sqrt(r-x^2)],
circle2[+ve sqrt(r-[x-A]^2),-ve sqrt(r-[x-A]^2)],
circle1-intersection is colour1,
circle2-intersection is colour2,
intersection is colour3,
where r=radius squared,
A=translation along the x axis }
Find the value of A.
(Verse 80) Musical Rounders.
"Get back, get back, get back to where you once belong." I sing
and I play a few bars of a song and then I run with my guitar to the
next point to sing and play a few bars of another song. I am aware
of someone watching me. I am hoping that this person watching
me knows the songs that I play, although I am thrashing my way
through these songs at such a fast rate I wonder if I relay these
songs correctly.
(Verse 81) My Joint.

It is more than a pound of flesh and I have second thoughts about
putting this joint of meat in the oven. I am stood there looking at
this joint as I hold it in my hands. Tony walks past and casually
informs me that it will take half an hour to cook in the oven. I look
at the clock on the wall and I wonder to myself, 'Do I want to wait
that long?' I look at the shape of this joint of meat and the shape
seems familiar to me. I seem to remember that I have eaten this
joint once before in 1984. This joint of meat is so tough that it
never gets digested. Tastlessly it gets chewed over and it never
gets put away. Like some fossil of meat I decide not to eat it again.
It has been preserved forever and so I put it aside. It is never to be
eaten again.
(Verse 82) A Little Perusal.

We are parked up on the top of a little scorched grassy incline
somewhere deep in this African nation. I am to clean up this bus. I
am to clean up the sweetcorn and the coconuts into the crates,
but it is getting late. 'Where are the people to help me?' I am
thinking to myself. I am standing at the front of the bus as I look
down this long bus and then out through the big screen at the
back of the bus, I can see some activity down the old grassy track
where the bus has previously been. Some people are making their
way on up the grassy incline to the bus. Suddenly some people
come alive in the bus and as they do so we all clean up the bus
whilst we dance and we sing out loudly. "Have you ever been to
The Bus Stop Shop?" Someone asks me. "It is so cheap there!"
They tell me before I have had a chance to answer their first
question and so I go to take a look in this black nations shop called
The Bus Stop Shop.
(Verse 83) A Soiled Pig.

Secretly I have hidden some items in the soil; an eraser, pencil
sharpener, some drugs, a toy pig which Jenny is mad about
because she wants to see this pig again to check it over for
something or other. I don't exactly know what. There are some
people asleep in lines and rows. It is all discreet but someone is
talking in their sleep.
So these items are buried now for good. I took a deep trowel and
pierced the earth into a deep tunnel of a hole and in went the
items. I showed Jenny before I put these items down the hole but
Jenny was not happy because the toy pig was not included in
these items and telling Jenny that I had already hidden the toy pig
did not help.
(Verse 84) A Blind Disconnection.

I am swimming under water. I am a humanoid whale swimming
with a female humanoid whale. We roll around each other
underwater. She is like an obese mermaid and me an obese
merman. My dorsal fin stears me back and my tail fin wraps me
around her soft body. In underwater slow motion we are gentle
and giants of the deep rolling around underwater in the swimming
baths of life, but she breaks away and swims away from me. So I
make my way on up to a big tiled window sill and I look out
through this big window. Me the whale humanoid merman with
all my big belly rolls of blubber pushed up against the glass that I
see through. I look for the female who I have just interacted with,
but I do not know what she looks like. Every female who swims
past the other side of this big window I wonder if it is she who I
have been rolling around with, but I just don't know who she is.
(Verse 85) Tables Upon A Table.

There is a girl and her girlfriend who I remember from school and
although I confidently interact with them the connection is weak.
Then I meet up with these other girls in this great hall of a room. I
am confident and I interact but the tables are small and there is
nowhere to sit. So somehow I balance myself at this small table
with the others and I am careful not to knock it all over, but it is
precarious and I am precocious as I rearrange two tiny tables
which are sat upon the small table that I am sat at. ((+_+))
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Chapter Four - June, SUMMER 2017.
____________________________________________________
(Verse 86) The Strange Case Of The Pressure Hose.

(Verse 87) A Touch Too Much.
(Verse 88) Sharon And Her Spider Machine.
(Verse 89) Really?
(Verse 90) A ghost In High Summer Season.
(Verse 91) Lovely Jenifer.
(Verse 92) This Dull Space.
(Verse 93) Bell Sung Was A Gas.
(Verse 94) Snap, Snap, Boom!
(Verse 95) Meantime.
(Verse 96) Wanking Off In Art Class.
(Verse 97) A White Building And An Influx Of Dark People.
(Verse 98) As I Address Limbo.
(Verse 99) As I Feast On A Buffet In Crystalline Light.
(Verse 100) Looks Can Be Deceptive. (meditation)
(Verse 101) A Playground Oasis.
(Verse 102) Ian's Team.
(Verse 103) A Key Conundrum.
(Verse 104) Sleep Safely Now.
(Verse 105) I Am Here.
(Verse 106) Adi You Plonker!
(Verse 107) Only Red Towels.
(Verse 108) How Many Hertz?
(Verse 109) Rude Boy.
(Verse 110) The Right Channels.
(Verse 111) Dick!
(Verse 112) Quitter.
(Verse 113) The Beef And The Bear.
(Verse 114) In Contrast.
(Verse 86) The Strange Case Of The Pressure Hose.

Some wooden drawers have been delivered. Apparently they have
had milk in them. They come all wrapped up in cellophane. So I
get the high pressure hose out and blast the drawers to clean
them out. These drawers are to have dog food in them, but the
dogs do not like to eat from milk soaked wooden drawers. So as I
blast these drawers with the high pressure hose I am surprised to
see that I am setting walls on fire behind where the drawers are
stood. I just hear this voice, "Woo! Stop! You'd better hope that
this fire will go out!" There is melted plastic and I stamp out a few
flames. I am really concerned that it might take hold and burn the
place down, but then after a short while the flames subside and
we are left with some mis-shaped plastic melted out of shape. A
disgruntled voice booms out to me, "Now let that be a lesson to
you! Now you've learnt something there, haven't you!" The
wooden drawers are alright they have been washed out nicely
with the high pressure hose, but I have done some damage to the
back walls and the plastic surround.
(Verse 87) A Touch Too Much.

I put my finger through a touch screen. I am reversing my big artic
lorry and I hit something with my lorries forty foot trailer. So I am
on my computer trying to remedy this situation when my first digit
goes through the plexi glass. I am at this shop and I tell the man
there what I have done. I explain to him how my index finger
penetrated the plexi glass and how there are layers of thin
transparent pages behind the broken plexi glass now and that I
have found myself flicking through these transparent pages that
are underneath the broken plexi glass. He tells me to make my
computer work for me. He says, "Get your computer to clock in in
the morning like any employee would."
"That that would be difficult." I tell him.
"No I am serious." The man behind the desk reassures me. "And
be prepared for a cleaning revolution." He says as if he is some
kind of great prophet seeing into the future, while he hands me
some new plexi glass for my computer screen together with the
layers of the thin transparent pages.
(Verse 88) Sharon And Her Spider Machine.

I am fascinated as I watch Sharon Thorpe doing her mechanics on
her car because she is partially paralyzed and she has this
octiframe around her to support her. To help her to stand and to
be able to work on her car. Her weak hands work the joy stick that
helps her to use spanners, to stand up within the octiframe and to
manoeuvre herself about. Sharon's mother is there too and she
has a joystick also. Her mother is not handicapped in any way, but
she joins in with her daughter and the octiframe to give Sharon
the extra support.
(Verse 89) Really?

I am asked, "What's your surname?"
"Cox." I reply.
"You're not a boxer are you? Because boxers called Cox are
unstable." I am interested to hear this because I believe what I am
being told here. "Yes boxers called Cox are unstable and women
who are pregnant who are called Cox are stable." She goes on in a
matter fact kind of way and I am taking this all in because I believe
what I am told.
(Verse 90) A ghost In High Summer Season.

I am still getting to know this new place where I live. I am by the
seaside. There are seaside attractions, but it only gets busy in high
summer season. I live in a nice home with vertical wooden panels
on the outside and it has big windows.
As I walk around inside this home, it is very large. I do not even

know where the light switches are yet, but I find them if I look
around for them long enough. The woman who owns this place
walks around, but she does not notice me as I watch her go by and
I feed the cat. No one knows me.
(Verse 91) Lovely Jenifer.

There are two ladies in the library. One of them has just helped
me on the computer, but then she has had to go off. It is nearly
tea time now and so I decide to get the file off the computer
myself and so I am putting my rubber gloves on. The other lady is
the librarian's assistant. She has short red hair and I have heard
the librarian call her Jenifer. Jenifer is very helpful and often
outshines the librarian with her helpfulness I feel.
I am back home for tea now with my mum and my sister Sue,
"What's for tea then?" I ask them both.
Sue replies, "We've got candles and a duck!" As she watches my

reaction to her reply.
I retort. "Does that mean that we have a wax duck then?" I

conclude this by trying to be witty and feeling clever with myself. I
look for some feedback for my humorous remark, but mum and
Sue are not as keen on my remark as I am.
(Verse 92) This Dull Space.

I am in the car with my family just me my mum and my dad. My
dad is driving us on some grassy field and we are ushered up at a
designated parking spot. There are a few other car loads of friends
who are also parking up near us. We stay in the car when we park
up and I look out of the window of our car to get a glimpse of
where our friends have parked up. We find ourselves all huddled
up in our vehicle, me, mum and dad. The atmosphere is a bit
tense. "Will you stop starring at us?" My mum whispers to me in a
determined tone. "We're not performing for you." She says to me
sternly.
"Thank God for that!" I exclaim with a childish expression.
"Aye!" She and my dad snap back with frowns and glares.
Alan Wilson has joined us now and he is drinking cans of beer. He

tells us that he had ten cans yesterday as he smokes his cigarette
and I look at him. I am thinking to myself that all that drinking is
not good for him. I imagine a smoky alcoholic induced dehydration
of a headache for him. Emphatically I can feel his wuzzy head now
as he draws on his cigarette and it glows brighter for a few
seconds which lights us all up briefly in this dull and smoky space
that we find ourselves in.
(Verse 93) Bell Sung Was A Gas.

"Anyone for some Sex Pistols cheese cake? Free with the bollocks
album. Never mind the bollocks here's the cheese cake. A crumbly
biscuit base with a union jack topping and more cheese than you
can manage in the middle! God save the cream aye Johnny. Pour
some cream on me today and stuff someone else. Be a man. Stuff
someone. Stuff yourself!"
I cannot believe what I am hearing, an advert for cheese cake with

attitude on the radio. This is in bad taste. "I've heard it all
now!"
(Verse 94) Snap, Snap, Boom!

I go around this ladies house. I go through all the routine of a care
plan to get her up. I feed the crocodile as it floats like a log in the
swampy back garden. I follow policy and procedure and it
only takes one neutron bomb to get her up and out of bed.
(Verse 95) Meantime.

We go around to this lasses house she has sausage legs and she
puts Wellington boots on her fat feet. The street that she lives
down is dry now, but for some reason we know that when we
return it will be flooded. There is another girl who is stood on the
top of my feet. She holds onto my sleeves with her hands. Her left
foot stands on my right foot and her right foot stands on my left
foot as she faces me and I walk her around. She keeps falling off
my feet as she hitches a lift on them and as we walk the streets.
We shall return and it will be flooded, but in the meantime ...
(Verse 96) Wanking Off In Art Class.

I am sat at a table. There is a girl to the left of me and a girl to the
right of me, but they are on the opposite side of the table. I
just can't stop masturbating. There is so much seamen flowing to
the floor that one of the girls asks me, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." I reply positively and surprised that she would ask me such
a question. There is newspaper on the floor and the seamen is
splashing on the newspaper as a pale sky blue water colour paint
until there is a puddle down there splashing out circular ripples of
pale sky blue water paint.
(Verse 97) A White Building And An Influx Of Dark People.
Billy has an ear infection. This lass is worried that she has caused
his ear infection somehow. I reassure her, I say, "Billy has often
had an ear infection." I am thinking to myself, 'He does not look
after himself. He drinks excessively every night.'
We are at this large white concrete building. There are two railway
lines which come to buffer stops in the grounds of this building.
There are hundreds of us who have trespassed onto this land. I
climb up onto the roof of this large white concrete building there
are two other lads already up there on the roof. There is another
concrete white wall on the roof where the building goes up even
higher and in this white wall there is a window with a thick
insulated wire coming out of it. One of the lads pulls the wire
several times and the window eventually opens up. I am surprised
as I watch the two lads climb into the window and disappear into
this big white building. I am thinking, 'They are in big trouble if
they get caught inside that building!' I decide to climb down off
the roof and as I look around I see that there are hundreds of
people milling around, trespassing in the grounds of this building.
Dark figures in dark clothes, moving around hundreds of them in
contrast to the white grounds of this white building as the sun
shines on the brilliance of the brilliant white concrete. I see a lass
with her phone out and I wonder if she is some kind of official
calling security. I don't even know what this building is.
(Verse 98) As I Address Limbo.

We are getting up and dressed to see where the clothes fit and to
see where we end up. Then we have to get undressed in the
correct way in order to get back to where we have come from.
This is my concern, that I may get to where I get by getting
dressed, but then it is getting back correctly that I think that I will
find difficult and so I feel that I am in limbo here.
(Verse 99) As I Feast On A Buffet In Crystalline Light.

I find myself in a large public hall. There are quite a few people
here and there is a speaker at one end of the hall or maybe he is a
preacher of some sort. I am with my family here as I decide to just
sneak into another large room where there is the biggest buffet
you have ever seen and I am keen on some chocolate swiss roll,
but I am discrete. I do not want everyone to know what I eat.
There is so much glassware here. The light shines onto it and in
through this glassware which is everywhere brightly lighting up all
around us. It is like a room full of diamonds as the crystal glass
glints ornately in this place. This is a crystal sugar bowl of super
optical light. A feast of food and of a transparency that reflects
irridescently and beautifully. This room is a jewel of light and I am
clearly impressed.
(Verse 100) Looks Can Be Deceptive. (meditation)

There is a man who looks like a big fat catapilla. He is a lavae, a
squirming lump of bright green and yellow. People think that he is
grumpy because of the way that he looks, but he is not grumpy
and when people get to talk to him and get to know him they are
surprised. I can see that there is a black beetle with a red crash
helmet on who is talking to this man and it is a very cordial
conversation that they have too. Now the beetle he just flies off to
somewhere over there. So then the lavae of a man starts to
become the pupae of a man as he is squirming on the spot and he
is not getting anywhere.
(Verse 101) A Playground Oasis.
School children can be cheeky. A teacher is told by a student,
"You're not from around here, go back." The child instructs the
teacher. The teacher is from London. He is a supply teacher and he
has been draughted in, but this is northern England and London is
in the south of England.
There is a child who is giving me some cheek. "You're fat sir. God
look at how fat you are." He says as he shows me a disgusted
facial expression. I look down at myself and I think to myself. 'I'm
not that fat. I might not be as thin as I used to be, but I'm not that
fat.' With one hand I grab hold of both of this lads lapels and
everytime he gives me some cheek, without letting go of his lapels
my index finger of that hand pokes him under his chin. But I am
careful because he is a child and I am an adult. I could
permanently disable him with one hand tied behind my back. I
would never do that, but he keeps on giving me cheek. So with
minimum force I keep poking him under his chin everytime he
insults me.
It is breaktime now and I am being as cool as I can be. There is a

wire mesh fence with holes in it and I negotiate my way through
this fence careful not to get stuck to find myself in a playground. I
climb onto a red square frame but as I step onto it, the frame
pivots in the centre. My weight on the frame tilts it down to the
ground because there is a schoolgirl on the frame next to me and I
hear her quietly moan about me as she eventually has to break
with her private concentration and acknowledge me. On the
opposite side of this frame, now up in the air, is a young school
boy who is like some Liam Gallagher singing out loud up in the air
at the top of his voice and without a care in the world.
(Verse 102) Ian's Team.
First I am in one team and then suddenly I am opted out into
another team. I lose my drink to the old team. It was a non
alcoholic beverage, but now in this new team there is only
alcoholic drinks, mainly beer and I do not drink alcohol. I search in
vain for a suitable drink for me. I have no choice. It is mostly lager
beer, which is sealed in a plastic that I do not know how to get
into. Then I get it. No wonder there is only beer in this team
because Ian is in this team!
(Verse 103) A Key Conundrum.

I am sharing a flat with some others. I am stood outside this flat
and there is a key in the flat door which is shut. I think to myself,
'Is that my key in the door? Did I leave that in there?' I am thinking
that the flat is empty and that everyone is out, but then I hear
some voices in the flat. Gary is in there with Patricia (Pat) as Pat
has brought round some videos and information to answer some
of the hardest questions to this quiz that we are taking. I hear
Gary say to Pat, "Isn't the North East depressing." And before Pat
can reply Gary concludes, "I can say that because I am from the
North West." And then he laughs at his own witty remark.
Meanwhile I am wondering to myself, 'Whose key is this in the
door?'
(Verse 104) Sleep Safely Now.

I am lying in bed half asleep, but I am aware of other people
around me and there are some knives. The people around me are
my friends and my family and they are taunting me with these
knives. My friends and my family are crazy and I do not trust
them. So I wake up and there by my pillow are three sharpe
knives. So I pick up the knives and I put them away in a tool box
on the floor in my room by my bed. Those knives could have
stabbed me in my head. I am aware that the other people around
me in my room are watching me. They can see what I do, but I can
go back to bed without being taunted anymore and I can sleep
safely now.
(Verse 105) I Am Here.

I go around to this ladies house. I have been here before.
Hopefully I am not here too early and that she still wants me. It is
still dark outside now, but this call is a regular one and everything
is familiar to me. From the address to the layout of the furniture. I
know where I am with this call.
(Verse 106) Adi You Plonker!

I go around to Brian Hill's house as I am due to do a run with him,
but I am waiting ages and then he asks someone to help him
move this big white fridge. 'I can't wait any longer.' I think to
myself and so I am prompted to say, "I'm going now Brian." And
impatiently I just find my way out I think about the implications of
what I have just done. 'I will not have any work because Brian has
got all the addresses for the run and Brian will not be able to do
the run either because he does not have someone who can help
him now.'
So now that I am outside I am searching all over. I am struggling to

find my way. I am looking for the exit onto the road, but no matter
where I go I cannot find my way out of here and I conclude that I
am stuck in Brian's back garden. Then the man who was helping
Brian to move his fridge comes out and I ask him, "Do you know
how to get out of here?"
"Did you know that there is no mathematician called 'Brilliant'?"
He tells me randomly.
"I'm not brilliant." I confess to him and I find myself going through
a few Mathematicians names in my head:
'I guess that the eighteenth century mathematician Euler was

probably the greatest mathematician, or maybe it was John Von
Neuman. Henri Poincare at the beginning of the twentieth century
was the last universal mathematician. (universal meaning that he
knew all of the subject before the subject of mathematics became
too big.) Although, when asked how much of mathematics John
Von Neuman knew, after careful consideration he said that he
knew Twenty eight percent of the subject. This was in the
nineteen fifties.' So I am thinking all this as Brian's friend shows
me the way out of Brian's back garden. I am grateful for his
direction, although I do feel like a plonker for getting lost in Brian's
back garden.
(Verse 107) Only Red Towels.

I meet Liam Gallagher. I go round to his flat. Someone says,
"Notice that there's no blue towels." 'What does that mean?' I
wonder to myself. He is alright Liam. We have a really good night
out. I even forget that it is Liam Gallagher! I shake his hand at the
end of the night. I say to him, "You are alright you are." He is so
modest and unassuming. Come to think about it he didn't even
look like Liam Gallagher.
(Verse 108) How Many Hertz?

There is an upside down push bike. The tyre on the back wheel is
as wide as a car tyre. This bike is peddled so that the back wheel is
spinning at seventy five kilometres per hour. The sun shines down
onto the back tyre as it is spinning and suddenly there is an
illumination that shines stroboscopically from the back tyre, from
the reflection of the sun shining down onto it. This is no ordinary
tyre.
The radius of the back wheel is from point p on the circumference

of the wheel to point t at its spindle.
The radius of the front cog that is joined to the peddles is from
point q on the circumference of the front cog to point u at its
spindle.
The radius of the rotation of the peddles is from point r at the

peddle to point u at its spindle.
The radius of the back cog that is joined to the back wheel is from
point s on the circumference of the back cog to point t at its
spindle.
The circumference of the back wheel is from point p to point p.
The circumference of the front cog that is joined to the peddles is

from point q to point q.
The circumference of the rotation of the peddle is from point r to

point r.
The circumference of the back cog that joined to the back wheel is
from point s to point s.
The ratio of the gears is the circumference of the front cog divided
by the circumference of the back cog. This will give the number of
times the peddles rotate in comparison to the number of times
that the back wheel rotates.
The inverse of the ratio of the gears and is the circumference of

the back cog divided by the circumference of the front cog. This
will give the number of times the back wheel rotates in
comparison to the number of times that the peddles rotate.
Hertz equals the number of times per second that an event takes
place. ie. One hertz may be the single rotation of the back wheel
in one second.
Question 1:
How many hertz will the back wheel spin at to get to seventy five
kilometres per hour where circumference p equals one meter?
Question 2:
How many hertz will you have to peddle at to get to seventy five
kilometres per hour where circumference p equals one meter and
the ratio of the gears equals 2:1?
(Verse 109) Rude Boy.

Sam Hammond, Ivan Moore and myself catch this bus and we
stand at the door where we have just got on because Ivan is
talking to the bus driver and now he is singing a lewd song and we
are laughing. I don't get all the lyrics, but the gist of the song is of
someone having sex with themselves.
Squeeze Box.
There is a young lass

who is usually quiet.
She found here squeeze box
and decided to try it.
She screams in the night
with such pleasures and delight
that people are starting to enquire about it.
Now she's not so shy

with her curly locks.
So she always pops up
to play with her box
as it helps her to pass her time by.
She plays at a rate

that makes her vibrate
to a frequency that beggers belief.
There's no time to date
as it gives such relief
and no one could match it as a mate.
She plays so much

and the pleasure is such
that she squeezes and squeezes
until it takes a toll
as she plays with light fingers
'Down The Rabbit Hole.'
Later Ivan sings another song to an American lass. I watch them

both intently. Ivan is delivering this song with such glee. The
American lass is fascinated with Ivan. I watch her facial
expressions as she cringes slightly and I cringe too and I doubt that
anyone has ever stuck their own penis up their own arse!
(Verse 110) The Right Channels.

I go out for a trip to France. There is a big queue of traffic up
ahead. There are two lanes. I am driving my car and I get into the
right hand lane to turn right across the traffic. Suddenly I am not
driving a car anymore and I am in the same place but I am
walking. There is a train to the right of me that is slowly over
taking me with all its carriages, slowly passing me by. This train
turns onto the right track.
The train has now passed me by and I am aware of another train

coming from the opposite direction. It is slow moving, it turns to
the left onto the track behind the first train that has turned right
and I find myself walking on the train track with a big group of
other people behind the train. We will be catching this train for
France as it will be stopping here for us all to get onto it.
I see Mark Book and he is on this trip too. "Is it good to be going
to France?" I ask him.
"No, but it's good to get away from here." He replies to be cool
about this trip to France. I smile at Mark's remark. It's not like
France is a million miles away from England. It is just a train ride
under the English channel, through the channel tunnel and then
we are there, but it is a totally different culture in France. This is
mainland Europe with totally different languages and I too am
glad to be getting away from what I perceive to be the over
familiar way of life in England.
(Verse 111) Dick!
I am parked up in this cul de sac, on this grassy area and I am just
watching this man get something out of his van. It is big white and
rolled up and looks to be light. The man is in a rush and he runs
with this big white rolled up package and bang! He runs into his
own van door which he has left open. 'Ouch!' that will hurt him I
think to myself. He is not happy. He is shouting at his van and now
he is pushing the van door back the wrong way. He must be as
strong as two people. He is a big white male, about in his thirties
and as he is raging and shouting, to my surprise the white van
door is creaking and buckling and giving way.
This man with a white van is now doing something on the grassy
area. I do not know what he is doing, but he is making a do, do do,
do, do do, noise. I have things out of my van strewn across this
grass and I am not comfortable here now. This man is
unpredictable. He is a knob head.
(Verse 112) Quitter.

I am sent out to deliver milk. "Come on! I want two bottles of
milk. I'm a busy nurse." This irate woman yells out to me and
another woman yells, "Yeah come on! I want some milk too."
'God, these women are pissed off. They must have had some bad
service in the past to react like this. I am new here, It's not like I
have given them a bad service in the past.' I go and look at my
milk trolley. It is nothing more than a hand cart on wheels. I pull
the handle and the trolley tips over. There is a smash! Milk and
broken glass line inside my trolley and helplessly I wonder what I
can do. I look up and I see a man sprawled on the grass and I
notice that he has a tube of glue next to him. It looks like this man
is out of it. He is not aware of me, or anything as far as I can tell. It
is just then that I remember that I do not work any more. I have
handed my notice in. 'So why have I turned up for work today?' I
find myself wondering to myself. It is just then that I realise that
no one will miss me if I just walk away. No one will ever know that
I turned up for work and then just walked away from it and so that
is what I do. I just walk away.
(Verse 113) The Beef And The Bear.

This is a summer's evening and we are camping in this field. There
is a tent up and there is a large sturdy table with some food on it. I
am serving myself up some food. I have got some chips and there
is a big joint of beef which I am tearing apart with my hands. This
beef is tough and it takes all my strength to rip out a suitable
chunk of beef for myself. Jen is here and she looks over to what I
am doing, she says, "That's the bit of beef that had most of the
ginger when I cooked it. No wait it's mouldy look." She points to it.
I am colourblind and so I cannot see that it is mouldy but I take
Jen's word for it.
"A Bear!" I shout at Jen and throw the beef at this big black bear
who is just behind Jen with its head up sniffing the air. Being the
brave person that I am I run around behind this tent, but then my
path is blocked by the biggest kangaroo with a baby kangaroo
which are layed out snoring on the grass which vibrates the earth
with which I am stood on. I decide that the big black bear is not
that scary after all and I go back round the tent the way that I
came.
(Verse 114) In Contrast.

I am playing football in this big field with Neil Mc Donald, with big
kicks in the air, a bit of running and some cocky contact with
the football as we pass to each other and practice our allegiant
skills.
In contrast there are two girls playing football with each other. We
watch the video of them later and we notice the fouls and the hair
pulling. In slow motion the camera zooms in, into the hand grabs
of locks of hair and into the pushing and pulling as the girls tackle
each other and compete with each other aggressively. The nasty
cows.

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Chapter One --- March, Spring 2017.

Chapter One - March, SPRING 2017.

(Verse 1) The Room Removement.

(Verse 1) The Room Removement.

(Verse 2) Two Pounds Fifty!

(Verse 3) The Multimeter.

(Verse 4) Into The Physical.

I had been crouching among many people. So many that I forget

(Verse 5) Even Squared.

(Verse 6) I Sleep Out In My Car.

It is not until the sunshine morning when I wake up in my car and I

Now I am concerned that I am on private property and that the

(Verse 7) Pub Lunch.

(Verse 8) ... Said The Vicar To The Rubbernecker.

(Verse 9) Bobby Of The Jazz Age.

(Verse 10) At The Hotel Strange Reception.

(Verse 11) A Dodgy Set Up.

I am travelling back home now. I have my luggage. I am in the

I am silent for a short interval as the magnitude of this incident

(Verse 12) At the Prestwick And Yearly Town Annual.

Lordy lordy lordy,

He makes babies. His twenty seventh baby is a humanoid pig baby

(Verse 14) Her Silence.

Once we are up there I am surprised to see that we are at ground

(Verse 15) In This Room.

(Verse 16) He Warms Up Inside.

(Verse 17) A Lack Of Resources.

(Verse 18) Preparation Is The Key.

(Verse 19) 'I Guess It's Out Of Date Then!'

"The fifteenth." The man replies whilst shaking his head in

(Verse 20) Wake Up!

(Verse 21) Getting on.

(Verse 22) Funny Bugger!

"Would tha be willin ta play a little?" Brian asks me searchingly.

"Yeah, yeah." Is my immediate response. I have a quick think and I

I am quizzed by Brian. "Are ya shoower that ya only want to play a

(Verse 23) Fun And Games.

So I am upstairs in this toy shop and I am watching people from

(Verse 24) I Try.

(Verse 25) My Guilty Secret.

Chapter Two - April, SPRING 2017.

(Verse 26) Doing The Rounds.

(Verse 26) Doing The Rounds.

(Verse 27) Borrow The Banker.

(Verse 28) All In A Jiffi.

(Verse 29) Impress Me.

(Verse 30) She Missed The Boat.

(31) A Pocket Full Of Keys.

I find myself in someone's bedroom with a group of other people

(33) A Big Stage In My Life.

The other chap seems to be up for it and he says in a jovial voice,

(34) "Hello Is That The Zoo Please?"

(35) To Arrive By Comfy Chair.

(36) Military Madness.

(37) To Face The Icing On The Bun.

My sister says, "I've got sixteen brothers and sisters in the

"How come?" I ask her searchingly with a disbelieving frown on

"My husbands got brothers and sisters." She snaps back.

Yorkshire police in the nineteen seventies were instructed, when

(39) She And Her Friends And I.

(40) Down In The Hull.

(41) "Morning Edna."