Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Newspaper
Newspaper
19 JUL 2017
strength to support moose in orbit. been dubbed "Mauds Death Grip". which she demonstrated by holding
According to John Johnson, head The injection of a new wrestling style Thompson above her head several
of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi- into the tournament was welcomed times during the bout and throwing
ment the first delivery of moose into by spectators and Johnsons pre- and him into the crowd once. With the
low moon orbit could be achieved as post-match breakdances have proved scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the
early as the third quarter of next year. entertaining to fans. However, she contest went to a panel of judges to be
The technology to nurture moose in was still not expected to win in assessed. They awarded Thompson a
space is available now, he said, all round three last Wednesday, facing C grade whilst Johnson received an
that is needed is political will. off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- A, becoming the first grandmother to
Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- ever win the title.
derdog Johnson was soon showing her
Granny wins worth with stamina and agility easily The new champion explained her
matching last years winner. Luttis success as the result of a strict train-
World Wrestling experience paid off initially as he took ing regimen instituted by her coach
the first two rounds, but as John- and grandson five-year-old Sammy
Championship son became more confident her su- Johnson. "Ive been drinking ten
By ROY MCROYSTON perior strength came to the fore and raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
she clawed back two rounds to take sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
the contest into a decider. By this ing my daughters car to the end of
time Luttis body language indicated the road and back whenever I felt my
Records were smashed in that he already felt overawed by the arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
Nicaraguas World Wrestling Cham- pretender to his crown, and the new- added "I always knew she could do
pionship last night as 78-year-old comer took advantage of this to en- it. Shes my grandma.". The young-
Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, gage a mutual headlock which she ster is also her manager and has re-
became the first woman for fifty-six held for three hours until the Vat- portedly arranged sponsorship deals
years, and the oldest competitor ever, ican man retired from exhaustion. which will dwarf her one million dol-
to claim the gold medal. She walked The next seven matches were barely lar prize fund. Her new contract with
away with her million dollar share of a contest as the news of Johnsons headband designer Nike alone is set
the prize money, runner up Tommy supremacy overawed all her oppo- to earn her fourteen billion dollars
Thompson from Nigeria taking half a nents who became too indimidated to over the next year. She will also be
million, and third place New Zealan- fight properly. promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
der John Smith receiving a warm Nigerian Tommy Thompson is the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
handshake from the umpire. also a relative newcomer to the Bingo. Her continued participation in
Having started the tournament a wrestling scene, but with his 210lb the sport is not assured as she wants
rank outsider she began to impress frame he was expected to fare well to spend more time on her bungee-
in her second match when she took against Johnson who weighs in at jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
US number three Ron Ronson by sur- only 90lb. However Johnsons lithe eryone here at the World Champi-
prise and subdued him in twenty sec- and slender, some would say scrawny, onships, however, hopes for her re-
onds with her unique move that has figure belies her agility and strength turn.