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Open Letter Engl 2010 Remixx
Open Letter Engl 2010 Remixx
There are many things wrong with the world today: increasing
incarceration rates, involvement in proxy wars across the ocean, and
even more light-hearted things; like the cumbersome amount of
construction currently ravaging the Wasatch Front But I am not
writing this to tackle those clich, transparent issues; I am writing
this to tackle public enemy number one: people who smack their lips
while they chew.
The lovely young lady I have sat next to has begun to devour a
family pack of trail mix. Every single bite is accompanied by an
additional ten seconds of crunching and mastication. She pulls her
hand from the bag, and puts it back on to her keyboard; does she not
understand that oils and table salt are not compatible with that
MacBook Pro smart-board?! She strikes a couple of letters, then
L. Beto Nelson English 2010 Open Letter 2.0
BAM -- back to the bag of trail mix. This time, its not even nuts;
theyre M & Ms. I can hear the shells crack under the immense
pressure of her manly jaws. The milk chocolate begins to slosh
back and forth between her molars and cheeks. At this moment, I
realize that I have been staring for about two solid minutes,
completely taken aback Studies: ruined. This brings me to
another reason why smacking is a problem: it is downright
disgusting.
I conclude with a plea to the readers that they take a good, hard
look in the mirror before bed tonight and ask, do I smack? Am I a
bothersome, anthropomorphic setback? Being honest with oneself
is a key character trait that should be in high regard, and I commend
those willing to be so honest. If you can answer back, yes, I
implore you to fix the problem. SOCIETY begs of you.
Sincerely,
A Frustrated Peer