FACADE STAGEPLAY

Mon Jul 18 22 00 03 2016

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

WILL
Hello.

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! -- (interrupted)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(WILL knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Will!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)

(WILL hugs trip.)

TRIP
Yeah, hi!
TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

TRIP
Well come on in!

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Will,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing? -- (interrupted)

GRACE
I just asked him that...

WILL
Yeah, you look great.

GRACE
Oh, Will, you've always got such nice things to say.

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful!

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home! -- (interrupted)

WILL
You too.

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
So, Will, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new
decorating, ha ha.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

WILL
You didn't went wrong.
TRIP
See, I told you he would like it! There's nothing wrong with it.

GRACE
(little sigh)

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, when I saw this armoire on the show floor, I thought it had
such a clean, simple look to it...

TRIP
It's a nice choice.

GRACE
but looking at it here in the apartment, it just looks like...

GRACE
(little sigh) a monstrosity!

TRIP
uhh...

WILL
Well...

GRACE
Really?

TRIP
See, Grace, no one has a problem with your decorating.

GRACE
(frustrated complacent sigh) Well, whatever, I'm going to return most of this
anyhow. I have to redo this room.

WILL
It's a good choice.

GRACE
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of cocktail making
accessories.

WILL
Relax,Grace.

GRACE
What do you... No, everything's fine, we're fine...

WILL
Really?

TRIP
So! Drinks!

TRIP
How does a martini sound?

TRIP
I'm a real expert at fixing these, at least that's what everybody tells me.

GRACE
uhh... you and your high class drinks... -- (interrupted)

WILL
Do you have whiskey?

TRIP
Oh, oh, yeah, that sounds even better! Great!

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Will, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
What...?

WILL
I'd like whiskey.

TRIP
Oh yeah, great idea, great idea!

TRIP
Alright! That's what I wanted to hear! It'll just take me a short minute here.

TRIP
(quiet humming)

GRACE
(little sigh) I sometimes wonder if Trip spends so much time fixing drinks to avoid
having real conversation with the guests.

TRIP
Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight? Surprise me.

GRACE
I'm not in the mood to drink tonight.

(WILL picks up the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "No")

GRACE
Nothing for me.

TRIP
Nothing?

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

(WILL shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Never")

(WILL shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")

(WILL shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Maybe Later")

(WILL puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
Heh heh, Will, seeing you again makes me remember the good times we all used to
have.

GRACE
Yes...

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

GRACE
What...

TRIP
Oh, tonight's a special night! A celebration in fact!

GRACE
What do you mean?

TRIP
Will, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced
us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... god...

TRIP
Remember that?

WILL
Yes.

TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...

GRACE
Pain.
TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony.

GRACE
Love.

TRIP
Uh, yeah, love, yeah, love.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Sounds good.

WILL
I'm happy to see you two.

TRIP
Hmm!

TRIP
Y - yeah, yeah...

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Ah, Will, I'm sorry, you didn't come here to hear this...

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're not.

WILL
What do you want to say?

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

GRACE
What...?

TRIP
Oh, Will, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent
trip to Italy.

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!

TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.
GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

TRIP
Um... uhh, Now, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Will, this is making you uncomfortable. See Trip, was it really worth it to fly
us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane picture?

(WILL sits on the couch.)

GRACE
(little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go to bed.

TRIP
Grace...!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Will, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.

GRACE
Oh, was that what it was? Huh, I'm always the last to know.

TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!

GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me out a little
bit?

WILL
Maybe she need some time alone.

TRIP
Uhh, you're -- (interrupted)

GRACE
What? I -- what are you saying to me?

GRACE
Thaw me out...

GRACE
Trip, you think you're so romantic... but no you're trying to manipulate me!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) Will, I...

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
Oh, Will, yeah...
GRACE
I know what you're going to say,

GRACE
You've been critical of me all evening!

WILL
No.

GRACE
Yeah, okay, again with that, okay...

TRIP
Goddamn italy...

TRIP
I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and
distant! I do, I really try! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Oh, my God...!

WILL
Grace, I need to say something.

GRACE
What, what are you saying?

WILL
I love you.

GRACE
Okay, you know what, Will,

GRACE
I'm going to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GRACE
Will, yes or no...

GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't you try to help the other person get what they want?

(WILL gets up from the couch.)

WILL
Yes.

TRIP
What...?!

TRIP
Oh, okay... sure...
TRIP
Uhh, I try so hard to reach out to you, Grace, and you reject me! You're cold!
You're distant! I can't keep going this way, it's killing me!

GRACE
Oh, don't even...!

(WILL comforts grace.)

(WILL comforts grace.)

(WILL comforts grace.)

GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!

GRACE
I don't want to look at you!

GRACE
Oh, God!!

WILL
Calm down.

GRACE
What?! What are you saying to me?

TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?

GRACE
What do you care?

WILL
I love you.

GRACE
Will, we're not normally like this, I don't know what's going on...

WILL
Look at me.

TRIP
Will, from what you said before, about saying yes... I think that tells us
something about Grace.

GRACE
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?

TRIP
What?

TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even though you
redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is... you're not an artist.

GRACE
Uhh...!

TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.

GRACE
Will, uhh...

GRACE
Will, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.

WILL
You're an artist, Grace.

TRIP
Ah!

GRACE
See, Will, all this time, I just can't stop thinking that I should have been
painting!

TRIP
Why don't you just do it then?

TRIP
Be a goddamn artist already. What are you afraid of, Grace?

GRACE
Well, but... Will, I... I... uhh...

WILL
Because you keep pushing her.

GRACE
Yes?

TRIP
Ah, yes, just you saying that should really help her...

GRACE
Well, if I could be a painter, I... I -- I would...

WILL
You would be happier.

TRIP
Aha!

GRACE
You're saying I'm... not depressed? Uhh... well...

GRACE
I miss painting.

TRIP
Huh?

GRACE
It's an ache, deep down. You could never understand that, Trip.
TRIP
Will, this is about Grace, not me.

WILL
You should be paiting, Grace.

TRIP
See, what aches are my goddamn ears, listening to this new age crap you're
spouting!

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
Will, give me some advice here...! -- (interrupted)

WILL
Shut up, Trip.

TRIP
Okay, Will, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

WILL
Nigga.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

WILL
Let me free.