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Jewish Standard With About Our Children Supplement, August 25, 2017
Jewish Standard With About Our Children Supplement, August 25, 2017
About
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THE NEW RABBIS ON THE BLOCK page 6
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Miu Miu removes clothing line Billy Joel wears yellow star
featuring yellow star l Billy Joel didnt light
the fire of anti-Semitism
l File this under: What were and hatred that many see
they thinking? sweeping the country.
fashion industry that decided this garding the use of the yellow star on
moment was ripe for their message? its clothing items, Robert Singer, the
Sadly, the press release from the World Jewish Congress CEO, said in a
World Jewish Congress announcing statement. At this critical time, when
Candlelighting: Friday, August 25, 7:21 p.m.
that Miu Miu was withdrawing the anti-Semitism and bigotry are rear- Shabbat ends: Saturday, August 26, 8:20 p.m.
items failed to get to the root causes ing their heads in the public sphere,
of this fascist fashion fail. we must continue to exercise caution
and show sensitivity in every sphere
CONTENTS
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jewish world 25
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THE FRAZZLED HOUSEWIFE 36
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real estate 45
Jewish
Jewish
Standard
Standard
August 3, 2017 3
march25,
Noshes Were worried that even at this
high price we wont be able to get
one this holiday.
Rabbi Avraham Wolff of Odessa talking about how his congregation
might not be able to find an etrog from Calabria. A killing frost wiped
out 80 percent of the crop, so an etrog costs $500 this year. Chabad
communities around the world try to buy at least one. The fruit is a vital
CALLING OUT TRUMP: part of Sukkot observance; Chabad ties Calabria to Esau, whom the Bible
From Berlin says inherited the earths richness. Thus Calabrian etrogim are rich and
paving stones for growth into the future. because I always wanted a large congregational internship, This year she hopes to add in more interaction with
Viewing synagogue members as a community of stake- and job. This is an excellent place to be. The synagogue has the religious school and preschool and ramp up pro-
holders with slightly differently stakes, with people inevitably nearly 450 families as members. gramming for high school youth. My first two years I ran
wanting to influence things in their direction, his job, he said, Those members, she said, are of all ages, and I work several classes for older high school kids, with a focus on
is to take all the input and really listen, making sure its not with the entire range. In addition to her duties with the mental health, she said, noting that her thesis, A congre-
pulled too much in this or that direction. preschool program, she assists Rabbi Wylen on Shabbat, gational response to teen and young adult mental health
Rabbi Wylen said he was a passionate bike rider for 25 visits congregants at camp, and conducts special pro- issues, dealt with such topics as substance abuse and sui-
years. An accident last year, however, involving several bro- grams in the religious school. cide. At the shul, she has run sessions featuring experts on
ken ribs, ended his bike-riding career. Now I take morning I like to bring the joy of creative experience to the relevant topics. For example, Youre looking forward to
walks, bake bread, and play golf, he said, adding that golf is membership, she said, noting her artistic bent. Working college what choices will you need to make?
a better sport as one begins to age. with sixth graders, I made the entire class experiential. Rabbi Ruderman grew up in West Orange and raised her
Every student made a tallit and at least one or two mezzu- three daughters now all young professionals in War-
Rabbi Lois Ruderman zot. Incorporated into those projects are real Judaica les- ren Township. But it was time to move closer to North
Temple Beth Rishon, Wyckoff sons. What is the meaning of the tallit? How do we tie the Jersey, she said. Now she lives in the Montclair area.
knots? The students picked various designs and we dis- According to Rabbi Ruderman, the rabbinate is her
Rabbi Lois Ruderman is cussed what they meant. Not only did each sixth grader third career. She earned her bachelors degree from Rut-
starting her fourth year at have a tallit he or she could wear, but they had learned a gers University and her masters of science in speech
Temple Beth Rishon. A rab- lot about the items they made, Rabbi Ruderman said. pathology and audiology from Adelphi University. Then
binic intern there for three Rabbi Ruderman also conducts workshops for the religious she had her first career, as a speech therapist in the Edi-
years, she was formally school as well as parent-child workshops. Within that time son Township school system. Her second career was rais-
ordained by the Academy period, they get a lot of creative modality work, like writing ing her daughters.
for Jewish Religion in April rap songs or drawing, she said. She also works with bnai I wanted to be a rabbi since I was 8 years old, she
and now joins Rabbi Wylen mitzvah students and their families. said. Both her great grandfather and great uncle were
there as assistant rabbi. For the slightly older crowd, Rabbi Ruderman teaches rabbis. But she didnt know that women could be rabbis.
She speaks glowingly of a Torah study class, called Nosh and Drash, on Saturday This was pre-internet and we were all very uninformed,
the recently retired Rabbi mornings, an hour before services. Its very participatory, she said, adding that this was true despite her being
Emert. It was fantastic she said. Each Saturday, I pick out an interesting idea, pro- entrenched in the Conservative movement synagogue,
working with him, she said. I couldnt have asked for a bet- vide a source sheet, and we discuss how it relates to our lives. camp, and USY.
ter internship experience. While one of her internship years Some people come to the class with great knowledge, some So she became a speech therapist and then a full-time
was as the visiting student rabbi of a synagogue along the Gulf with minimal knowledge. All are welcome, and everyone gets mom. But you cant play tennis four times a week, she
Coast of Mississippi, she is particularly happy to be in Wyckoff, a chance to participate. SEE NEW RABBIS PAGE 27
Do I own me?
Dr. Adena Berkowitz looks at tattoos, plastic surgery,
organ donation through bifocal lens in Englewood
JOANNE PALMER autonomy and personal choice with halacha. The main
D
halachic viewpoint, the traditional Jewish view, is that we
o our bodies belong to us? dont own our bodies.
American culture tells us that they do. We This is a jumping-off point for me, she said.
can change them, reshape them, tattoo and The topics shell cover range from the relatively friv-
pierce them. olous tattooing to the unavoidably serious organ
Jewish law tells us that they do not. We are restricted donation most likely stopping to examine questions
by God-given laws, interpreted and refined for changing about piercings and plastic surgery on the way.
situations by generations of great scholars It is odd, she said, but she has been told
and decisors; those boundaries restrain us that the one question that the advice col-
from changing, reshaping, tattooing, or pierc- umnist known as Dear Abby received more
ing them. than any other was whether Jews with tat-
Those are gross oversimplifications, need- toos could be buried in a Jewish cemetery. It
less to say, but there is basic truth to them. tells you a lot about the outsize role of Jews in
As in so many other areas, there is a tension the American imagination, she said. Youd
between the two cultures in which Jews par- think thered be many millions of us. But
ticularly, although not only, modern Ortho- that idea that if you get a tattoo you cannot
dox Jews live. be buried in a Jewish cemetery is the rea-
Rabbanit Dr. Adena Berkowitz will explore son many young Jews are given when they
those tensions on September 9. Thats a Shab- Dr. Adena Berkowitz consider getting one. How many 16-year-
bat, and Dr. Berkowitz will be the speaker at olds care about where they are going to be
the Lunch and Learn at Minyan Tiferet, the partnership buried? she said.
minyan that meets more-or-less monthly in Englewood Not only are tattoos extremely popular in American
or Tenafly, and hosts a scholar who will meet the com- culture in general right now, in Israel, particularly in
munitys need to talk with intellect, passion, and depth Tel Aviv, theyre more or less ubiquitous. Moreover, she
every year. added, in Israel, younger third-generation Holocaust
Dr. Berkowitz, who lives on Manhattans Upper West survivors are tattooing their grandparents numbers on
Side with her husband, Rabbi Zev Brenner, and their chil- their arms. Tattoos arent necessarily self-mutilation, or
dren, is scholar in residence and co-founder of Kol HaNe- the result of a drunken whim. They can have real emo-
shamah in her neighborhood. It is dedicated to re-ener- tional content.
gizing the spiritual life of both affiliated and non-affiliated She tells the story of an Israeli nurse who takes care Tattoos like this one evoke emotional reactions in
Jews, the group says, and Dr. Berkowitz has the back- of Holocaust survivors, and who has tattooed the word the Jewish community.
ground to initiate such a mammoth undertaking. She has zachor remember on her arm. I am in no way con-
a doctorate in Jewish ethics; shes been to law school; shes doning it, Dr. Berkowitz said, but she recognizes that it Orthodox person do about reproductive rights?
modern Orthodox but also has studied at the Conservative comes from emotion, even love. It is a very nuanced discussion, she said.
movements Jewish Theological Seminary and is a visit- What do we do, say, or think about that? Shell talk The idea of organ donation has changed as science
ing lecturer at Yeshiva Chovevei Torah, open Orthodoxys about some creative responses. They exist, she said. has evolved. In the 1960s, Dr. Berkowitz said, Rabbi Isser
flagship institution. Shes written a siddur for Orthodox And then there is cosmetic surgery. If God gave us our Yehuda Unterman, Israels Ashkenazi chief rabbi, allowed
women, shes writing a Haggadah, and as past director bodies, how are we allowed to do this? she said. This corneal transplants, based on the halachic understanding
of the Secretariat of the International Jewish Committee surgery is not pikuah nefesh it is not saving a life. If of someone who is blind being seen as someone who is
on Interreligious Consultations, shes met Pope Francis. I dont like my nose? If I want liposuction? How about a almost not fully alive. Therefore, if you can give sight to
The list of her accomplishments is long and formidable; little nip and tuck? Permanent eyelashes? someone, its almost like getting them a new life. Donat-
to leaven it, shes also an engaging speaker. What about the issue that reveals fissures not only in ing a cornea, therefore, was seen as pikuah nefesh.
At Minyan Tiferet, Dr. Berkowitz will talk about Am the Jewish world, but in American life as well? Abortion? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the great 20th-century scholar,
I My Body? She was inspired by a sign she saw at the Most people think, Its my decision, but then how do thought that you could not donate your heart, and you
Womens March in Washington on January 21. The sign you balance that with halacha? The question of ownership couldnt take a donated heart. Thats because it was like
read, My Body, My Choice, she said. That encapsulates of our bodies, the issue of autonomy, which is ingrained a double murder. He was writing during the time when
the intersecting challenges, particularly for those within in the American psyche and legal tradition what do we heart transplants were new, the concept of brain death
the observant Jewish community, of balancing personal do when it butts up against Jewish tradition? What can an was new and controversial, and heart recipients didnt
More than
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live for very long. So you were killing the person who
was donating it, because he wasnt really dead, and
you were killing the person who is receiving the organ,
because you are hastening his death. OUR NEW FALL SUITS
The question of accepting brain death which
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other, older definitions of death was a fraught one. HAS ARRIVED!
Although the controversy still continues in some far-
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At the same time, you have a lot of Orthodox Jews pants, sweaters, shirts, ties,
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Berkowitz said. So even if someone is not comfortable
shoes and accessories.
being an organ donor, the public focus has spurred
more people to say, I am going to do an incredible
act of chesed as a living donor. So we have more and
more instances of people being living donors.
We are living in extraordinary times.
There is another wrinkle. (There is always another
wrinkle.) When you set something down as a chiuv FIRST PLACE
an obligation you cant force someone to put her- MENS SHOP
self at risk, Dr. Berkowitz said.
The example of that is pru urvu be fruitful and
multiply. (Thats from Genesis 1:27.) That is an obli- Visit the
gation only on men, not on women, the rabbis say,
although of course they hope that women decide to do
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physically, or emotionally.
She was led to study this set of issues the interplay
between autonomy and halacha because I always
was fascinated by medical ethics, from an American
legal point of view and from Jewish tradition. I see it
come up constantly. It is one of the biggest intellectual Scarpa
and practical challenges facing the Orthodox commu-
nity, because societally we are being told one thing
and halachically we are being told something else.
We see people grappling with it more and more in
our communities.
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White supremacist protesters carry Nazi and Confederate flags in Charlottesville, Va., on August 12.
ANTHONY CRIDER VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
Contemporary.
A mixed bag
Abe Foxman considers Donald Trumps
record on racism and anti-Semitism
JOANNE PALMER inability to say clearly that there are no
A
good Nazis.
braham Foxman of Bergen We went to war against the Nazis,
County, who retired almost and we lost tens of thousands of our best
exactly two years ago after to them. And they murdered one third of
exactly 50 years, to the day, our people, and many others.
at the Anti-Defamation League, most So for the president to equivocate
of them at its helm, has had a set of about Nazis certainly that is distress-
life experiences that the overwhelming ing. It is shameful.
majority of us have had the luck to avoid. But, Mr. Foxman said, there also have
And he was lucky, almost freakily been times when Mr. Trump did as he
lucky, too, once you take into consider- Abraham Foxman was expected to do, and as all other
ation the massive ill fortune of having modern presidents have done. If you
been born a Jew in Poland in 1940. take an honest look, you will see that he went to the
Mr. Foxman was brought up by his familys Catho- Holocaust Memorial Museum and gave a very good
lic nanny; his parents were separated by the war but speech, he said. He gave the right speech. That was
both survived it. After the war, his parents found each on April 25. It was important that he went and spoke.
other and eventually reclaimed him; he was weaned He also went to Yad Vashem during his trip to Israel in
gently away from the Catholicism in which he had been May; Mr. Foxman was heartened by that, dismissing the
brought up while never dishonoring or forgetting the controversy over the breezy informality of Mr. Trumps Traditional. Modern. Contemporary.
love of the woman who shared her faith, her home, and handwritten comments in the guestbook (the presi-
her life with him. dent wrote: It is a great honor to be here with all of my Traditional. Modern. Contemporary.
It is his unlikely life story, he says, that makes him an friends. So amazing + will Never Forget!) as irrelevant.
optimist. I have been an optimist all my life, he said; Dont go too far back into Mr. Trumps presidency,
had he not been, most likely he would not have survived. though, Mr. Foxman suggested. Mr. Trumps February
This is relevant now, 77 years after Mr. Foxmans 27 statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day, which
birth, because it makes him somewhat sanguine about did not mention Jews in its very general denunciation
the possibility that Donald J. Trumps presidency might of Nazi terror, is too stale a data point to be pursued.
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by Trumps on-and-off-again moral equivalence, by his SEE MIXED BAG PAGE 34
largest of the ancient world, served a mas- scroll into the plaza in fact is discrimina- over the mechizah and film us praying. aware of this, of course, but some had not
sive number of pilgrims. tory to women, since men have access to One woman made some nasty comments. considered the restrictions and exclusions
For many of the founders of Women of dozens of Torah scrolls stored on their Several women gave us curious looks. In that stem from their mode of prayer.
the Wall, this compromise was unaccept- side, and women have access to none. other words, it was a normal, relatively Women of the Wall no longer works for
able. Several modern Orthodox women, Many Original WOW members attend uneventful morning. We gathered a dozen women who must, in good conscience,
original members who had shown up WOW services, as well as egalitarian ser- chairs together in a semicircle toward the pray with a mechizah. Original Women of
to the WOW Rosh Chodesh Services for vices at Robinsons Arch. At the same time, rear of the plaza, a good distance away the Wall does not work for women who
decades, no longer would be able to they have chosen to meet in the womens from the Kotel, and sang together in soft must, in good conscience, pray without
pray with the group, because there is no area of the main Kotel plaza at a time that voices. Dr. Shulamit Magnus, who led the one.
mechizah at Robinsons Arch. Some of the does not conflict with the Rosh Chodesh prayers, brought meaning and beauty to Its not easy to unite the Jews, but it is,
women who are comfortable with open services of Women of the Wall. They assert the morning service. The stones, in my nevertheless, our sacred task.
seating objected to the compromise, both that no one has the standing to trade away hearing, at least, said Amen. Afterwards, One way of inching toward unity would
because they didnt want to exclude their their right to pray at the Kotel plaza. we went out to breakfast, where I learned be for liberal Jews to provide dividers or
Orthodox sisters and because they con- I like this group and not just because I some of this history. ropes at Robinsons Arch and thus accom-
tinue to regard the Plaza area as the true like and missed my old roommate. I appre- At breakfast, several of the women modate womens davening groups that
Kotel. They believe that the Wall belongs ciate that Original Women of the Wall are spoke passionately about inclusion, and want to pray with a mechizah at Robin-
equally to all Jews and should be available pursuing meetings and conversations with regretfully about the Orthodox women sons Arch. Mens davening groups pray
for prayer and gatherings that reflect that Conservative, Reform, and Orthodox lead- who arent able to pray in a womens group with dividers at the Western Wall and at
full range of contemporary Jewish piety. ers, as well as with the board of Women of that meets at Robinsons Arch. Its a seri- almost every synagogue in Israel so their
So that is how I found myself at a the Wall. I like the fact that they are neither ous dilemma, I agreed. But your daven- need is met. If liberal Jews can stretch our
Wednesday morning service sponsored discounting nor competing against the ing isnt inclusive, either. One womans spiritual eruv and comfort zone to include
by Original Women of the Wall, who have way anyone else prays. They simply show eyes widened in surprise, and she asked people who daven differently than we
filed their own law suit with the Israeli up and daven together as a group at the me what I meant. At a prayer service on do, it would be a wonderful stride toward
Supreme Court. They assert that the direc- Kotel, as many of them have been doing the womens side of the Kotel, men are peace and unity in our community and
tive issued by the rabbinic administrator for decades. obviously excluded, as are women who are a great example for the Orthodox and cha-
of the Western Wall Heritage Foundation On the morning I prayed with them, one uncomfortable praying with a mechizah. redi communities to follow.
forbidding anyone from bringing a Torah man interrupted his own davening to lean The women around the table had been See wall page 35
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COURTESY NORPAC
Laurie Liner, left, taught a series of cooking Janet and Ken Hoffman will welcome Senator Bob Casey (D-Pa.)
classes at the Orangetown Jewish Center this to a Norpac event on Tuesday, August 29, in Teaneck at 6:30
summer. Students donated a percentage of the p.m. For information or to make reservations, call (201) 788-5133
tuition to support Helping Hands, an interde- or email Avi@NORPAC.net.
nominational organization that feeds and houses
the homeless. There is a Helping Hands center Senator Bob
in Spring Valley, where many houses of worship Casey
in Rockland County take in the homeless during
the winter months. Gavi Lewy, a class partici-
pant, said, OJC is proud of its many volunteers
who give of their time to participate in this Help-
ing Hands program.
joined them. est Chabad house in the world. completed before students move onto
Since its inception, Rutgers University has about 7,000 campus on September 1. The expanded
the outing has raised Jewish students. The need for hous- Chabad House is expecting to house 90
more than $2.5 million. ing for Rutgers students who want to students, and to provide kosher meals
All the funds go toward live in a Chabad House has grown, and for 500 students daily. For information,
scholarships and financial aid programs at tennis; Rivka and Dov Gertzulin and Roni the facility is nearing capacity in both call (732) 296-1800 or email housing@
Moriah. and Yehuda Blinder chaired cycling; and its mens and womens dormitories. chabadnj.org.
Ranit and Gabe Shiff, Daniela and Zev Nurit and Haim Chasman and Anna and
Gontownik, Livia and Elias Marcovici, Jes- Kevin Jacobs chaired fitness. The auction
sica and Daniel Yunger, Tanya and Dar- committee included more than 50 cou-
ren Wolf, and Jordana and Adam Altman ples. CBRE Group, Inc., was the Diamond
were event chairs. Melanie and Matt Sos- Title sponsor. For more information, go to Norpac hosts Josh Gottheimer
land and Michal and Noam Sheps chaired www.moriahgolf.org.
Congressman Josh Got-
theimer (D-5th Dist.) was
the guest at an August 16
Send us your vacation photos! Norpac meeting at the
Ridgefield Park office of
Seth Gribetz. Mr. Got-
theimers district encom-
passes portions of Bergen,
Passaic, Sussex, and War-
ren counties, including
Bergenfield, Fair Lawn, COURTESY NORPAC
New Milford, Paramus,
and Teaneck.
Mr. Gottheimer dis-
cussed recent develop-
ments in Congress, includ- Bennett Schachter, left, Congressman Josh Got-
ing the Taylor Force Act, theimer, and Seth Gribetz.
a bill that would stop
payments of U.S. aid to the Palestinian the House and Senate in September or
Elly Rubin, a recent Yeshivat Noam graduate, took a copy of the Jewish Authority that the PA uses to support ter- October, Mr. Gottheimer said. He also
Standard with him on a day trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in rorists and their families. The legislation discussed his recent support of two anti-
Manhattan. Elly, shown here in the Egyptian wing, is the son of Rona aims to target benefit payments to these BDS bills that are circulating in the House
and Jeffrey Rubin of Teaneck. He will attend Torah Academy of Bergen families and would not affect humanitar- of Representatives. One bill aims to push
County in the fall. ian aid. The Senate recently passed its against an international blacklist of
version of the Taylor Force Act through Israeli products, while the other protects
Take a photo with the paper from your vacation or day trip and send it to
the Foreign Relations committee, and it the rights of individual states to divest
PR@JewishMediaGroup.com. Include your names and, of course, where you were.
is expected to come up for a vote in both from companies that boycott Israel.
Enjoy the rest of the summer!
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades taub campus | 411 e clinton ave, tenaFly, nJ 07670 | 201.569.7900 | jccotp.org
JEWISH STANDARD AUGUST 25, 2017 15
Rockland
Local Charedi community grows;
neighbors responses are not all positive
Ben Sales Community in Mahwah has garnered
1,200 signatures. In late July, 200 Mahwah
AIRMONT When Moshe Pinkasovits residents gathered to protest the eruv. And
walks down the street with his kids on Sat- a new organization called Mahwah Strong,
urdays in his new town, he has to watch also against the eruv, has grown to around
out for drivers shouting anti-Semitic slurs. 3,000 members.
The Pinkasovits family didnt face this Local officials arent speaking to the
problem in the neighboring town of Mon- media because of the legal proceedings.
sey, a heavily charedi Orthodox enclave in But activists say the problem is that the
Rockland County, near the New Jersey bor- Eruv Association bypassed the town while
der. But since the family moved six months putting up the eruv and broke the sig-
ago to Airmont, a pastoral town next door, nage ordinance. If the Eruv Association
some residents have made it clear that obeyed the law, they say, there would be
they dont want religious Jews around. no problem.
Pinkasovits neighbor, another charedi If someone puts up a garage sale sign,
newcomer, has had eggs thrown in his it gets taken down, said Deborah Kos-
yard and found his mailbox bashed in. troun, Mahwah Strongs spokeswoman.
People have leaned out of car windows Were very diverse, and very inclusive,
and shouted fing Jew at Pinkasovits, and we want people to come to Mahwah.
or they just have shrieked at him. But if you come to Mahwah, you do have
What did we do wrong by being here? A synagogue in Airmont, a town that has seen its charedi population boom in to abide by the ordinances of the town.
his children ask him. recent months as families seek larger houses at more affordable prices. Kostroun did acknowledge, however,
But Pinkasovits isnt leaving. Despite the photos by Ben Sales that residents also were wary of how a
abuse, he loves living in Airmont, in my growing charedi population might change
own house with my own backyard. He Airmont, have complained that the eruv outsiders entered the eruv fray this week. the areas character. She pointed to the
hopes his non-Jewish neighbors will come breaks town ordinances because supports In Trenton, New Jerseys attorney gen- example of nearby East Ramapo, where
to accept the new religious Jews in town. that mark the boundary are attached eral, Christopher Porrino, raised the members of a booming charedi commu-
And if they dont? Its only a matter of to public utility polls. Others have wor- standing reward for information leading nity were elected to the local education
time before the Jews become a critical ried that a growing charedi population to conviction for bias crimes to $25,000. board and passed deep cuts in funding for
mass, Pinkasovits says. will mean a large group of residents who It had been set at $10,000. Although the the public schools, which hardly any cha-
Its going to die out, Pinkasovits said dont support services like the public award applies to all bias crimes, his office redi children attend.
of the anti-Semitism. People are mov- school system. highlighted the vandalism against the eruv In 2015, after accusations of mismanage-
ing here because this is how we want to I think people are reacting out of the in announcing it. ment, the Board of Education there was
live. Everyone, theyre all going to move unknown, said Vince Crandon of Mah- This reward is on top of the $1,000 placed under state oversight.
out. Wherever you look down the street, wah, who claims that the eruv was erected Mahwahs Mayor Bill Laforet already had There is a concern because of what is
you see for sale signs hanging. I dont illegally. People will always say the worst offered. Two Teaneck residents Coun- happening one mile away, five miles away,
mind living between them, but I also dont when they are left without information. cilman Mark Schwartz and Keith Kaplan, six miles away, Kostroun said, referring to
mind if they leave and I get more Jew- The Vaad HaEruv, or Eruv Associa- who sits on the towns planning commis- Monsey and East Ramapo. Mahwah has
ish neighbors. tion, expanded an eruv in the Monsey sion also offered a $1,000 reward for the one of the 10 best schools in the state, and
Pinkasovits is part of a wave of charedi area around the beginning of July. Much eruv vandal. property values are tied to how good the
Orthodox Jews who have ranged from Mon- of the eruv consists of existing telephone In response to a request for support schools are.
sey to the surrounding towns. The towns wires, but to make it kosher, the associa- from people in Mahwah, the Wisconsin- Others have expressed their opposition
green, quiet, and spread out offer the tion had to install PVC pipes that reach based Freedom From Religion Founda- in less savory ways.
large families spacious homes at an afford- from the bottom of the wire to the ground tion wrote to Mahwah council members Beyond the abuse that Pinkasovits and
able price. Like Pinkasovits, charedi Jews and are affixed to telephone poles. The and its mayor, urging that the town take his neighbors have endured, the PVC
who moved to these towns say they just pipes, called lechis, act as posts for down the eruv. pipes have been vandalized, left cracked
want to live their lives in nice places, just the eruv. The Eruv Association pays for Allowing one religion to put up reli- and broken. The online petition to Pro-
like their non-Jewish neighbors. their upkeep. gious symbols on public property uncon- tect the Quality of Our Community in
But the charedi influx has led to friction The Eruv Association says it obtained stitutionally sends a message to non- Mahwah was closed after 1,200 signa-
with longtime residents. the necessary permits from the utility adherents that they are outsiders, not full tures because of several anti-Semitic com-
The battle has coalesced around the company that owns the telephone poles members of the political community and ments. One referred to the satanic verses
construction of an eruv the artificial and that it installed the eruv under local an accompanying messages to adherents of the Talmud.
boundary that, according to Jewish law, police supervision. But the Township of that they are insiders, attorney Madeline But Crandon said he was skeptical that
allows Jews to push and carry objects Mahwah claims that the poles violate an Ziegler wrote. any anonymous online comments actually
outside their homes on Shabbat. The ordinance that prohibits placing signs on Meanwhile, however, Mahwah has not were from Mahwah residents.
eruv crosses into Mahwah, Upper Saddle the poles, and it has threatened to issue yet issued a summons to the association Its very sad, and I wish it wouldnt
River, and Montvale New Jersey towns summonses and demand that the poles be that erected the eruv. have happened, said Rabbi Chaim Stein-
next to Airmont in order to accommo- taken down. On August 11, the Eruv Associ- The battle isnt just legal. Mahwah resi- metz, who oversees the eruv. Its going
date the growing religious community, ation filed a lawsuit against Mahwah, with dents, like residents from neighboring to be a long way to fix the relations with
and although they extend only a couple Pinkasovits as a plaintiff, claiming that the Upper Saddle River, have mobilized in all these towns. We have to fight the legal
blocks over the border, it has led to rau- demand to take down the lechis violates opposition to the eruv, and to what or [battle] to get permission to put it up, but
cous debates, vandalism, and a lawsuit. residents civil rights. who it represents. A petition opposing we have to have a good relationship with
Residents of Mahwah, southwest of Meanwhile, on the legal side, more the eruv to Protect the Quality of Our all these towns.
Join us and connect with your heritage. Youll make lifelong bonds for the present and future.
Connect. NCJC is a dynamic center where children and families share in the joy of
Jewish living and learning. Our community is what makes this synagogue both
spirited and spiritual.
We Educate
We Enrich Learn. Participate in lifelong and diverse learning opportunities, an active K-12
youth community, daily minyan, holiday programming, social action, young members
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interests of our members. In our schools, experienced and creative educators, from
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In this New Year, let NCJC be your sanctuary your place to worship, learn,
We Connect celebrate and connect.
47 Old Schoolhouse Road New City NY 10956 (845) 638-9600 www.newcityjc.org New City Jewish Center ... Make your connection
Photos courtesy YU
both the local and global levels. mer conference for teachers at Jewish
Each summer, Stern College students schools to learn more about European
dedicate themselves to internships to Jews before the Holocaust.
serve their communities and also to count- One of the best parts of working at
less others in need, Dr. Joseph Luders, a museum is that you get to go to the
Sterns David and Ruth Gottesman profes- galleries whenever you want, which
sor of political science, said. They work Tzivya Beck Chani Grossman Rochel Hirsch has been incredible, Ms. Grossman
tirelessly to bring about a positive impact said. I also got to go to lectures held
in hospitals, law offices, advocacy organi- Court, where we watched a gang leader studies, also spent her summer at the at the museum, which were always fas-
zations, and elsewhere. They are a great being sentenced for his crimes of murder, office of New Jerseys attorney general, cinating. Another of my favorite things
credit to Yeshiva University in their many attempted murder, and racketeering, working with Ms. Beck in the government was being able to interact with student
vital contributions, and I am personally Ms. Beck said. Afterwards, we met with and health care fraud section of the Divi- groups and see what they thought about
very proud of them. Judge Greenaway, who serves on the U.S. sion of Law: I wanted an internship that their experiences at the museum. Many
Whether theyre helping impoverished Court of Appeals, Third Circuit, to hear would allow me to gain exposure to law of the students come in with almost no
children get the heart surgeries they need, about his experiences serving as a federal and give me insight into the workings of knowledge of the Holocaust and to see
fighting health care fraud, or advocating judge. After eight weeks working along- the government, she said. the amount of information and insight
for environmental sustainability, heres side interns and deputy attorney generals, Like Ms. Beck, Ms. Hirsch learned about theyve gained is incredible.
a few ways students are making a differ- I know that I will have a lot to look back on the opportunity from pre-law adviser Her internships focus on education
ence. Several local residents are among once this internship is over. Dassy Chelst. Im considering a career in fits well with her fascination with Jewish
those students. At Stern, Ms. Beck has enjoyed her law, so this internship is a great opportu- history, which has flourished at Stern.
Tzivya Beck, a native of Monsey, native courses on the Middle East and the nity to explore the public service side of Ive had such great Jewish history pro-
who will graduate with a degree in politi- Arab-Israeli conflict, taught by former the field, Ms. Hirsch said. During weekly fessors Rabbi Dr. Ephraim Kanarfogel,
cal science in the fall, applied for an Israeli Deputy National Security Adviser seminars designed to introduce interns Dr. Jeffrey Gurock, Dr. Ronnie Perelis
internship at the New Jersey attorney gen- Dr. Charles Freilich, as well as funda- to the attorney generals wide range of and Im looking forward to having even
erals office in preparation for her studies mental political science courses Dr. responsibilities, I also get to learn about more when I start taking courses at the
at Harvard Law School in 2018. At Har- Luders taught. During my sophomore other divisions work. Bernard Revel Graduate School of Jewish
vard, she will focus on public interest law; year, I took a course that provided a Chani Grossman, a Jewish history and Studies this fall, Ms. Grossman said. Im
her internship at the attorney generals comparison between talmudic law and biology major from Monsey, is fulfilling also really enjoying the experience of
office gives her exposure to the area as she U.S. law, which foreshadowed my deci- her dream of working behind the scenes working on my senior honors thesis with
investigates cases relating to government sion to learn Talmud in the Graduate at a museum with her summer internship Dr. Perelis, especially as I get to work on
and health care fraud. The cases typically Program in Advanced Talmudic Studies at the Museum of Jewish Heritage A Liv- a period of Jewish history 1970s Argen-
employ the False Claims Act to prosecute at YU before pursuing a law degree in ing Memorial to the Holocaust in Man- tina that I knew little about before, but
people who defraud the state government. 2018, she said. hattan. I chose the museum because relates closely to my family history.
One week, interns including myself Rochel Hirsch, a junior from Passaic Id visited it and been very impressed For more information about the pro-
went to a nearby United States District who is majoring in history and Judaic and Im very passionate about Holocaust gram, go to www.yu.edu.
Tovah!
school supplies particularly backpacks, pens, year on Sunday, November 5, at 10:30 a.m., at Congregation
Tovah!
crayons, paper, notebooks, glue sticks, highlight- Shaarey Israel in Suffern. Barbara and Sam Weinberger are
Photo provided
ers, tissue boxes, and rulers by dropping them the honorees. Paul Galan will receive the Elie Wiesel Memo-
off at the federations office at 450 W. Nyack Road, rial award and Dr. Mehnaz Afridi is the keynote speaker. All
Suite 2 in West Nyack, you can help make the first proceeds will benefit Holocaust and tolerance education
day of school successful for local students in need. programs.
Gift cards and donations also are welcome. For information, c all (845) 574-4099 or go to Brian LeBlanc
Wishing you a sweetyou
For information, call Marissa at (845) 354-2121,
Wishing newa sweet
year. new year.
holocauststudies.org.
ext. 177, or email her at MSherman@rjfs.org.
Jamie and Steven Dranow Larry A. Model Harvey Schwartz Neil Diamond tribute
Gregg Brunwasser Jamie and Steven
Michael Dranow General
L. Rosenthal, Larry A.Manager
Model Harvey Schwartz
Gregg Brunwasser Michael L. Rosenthal, General Manager planned for Esplanade
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JOANNE PALMER
Y
ou can think that you
know your parents.
And you can be wrong.
You know that you
dont know everything about
them, of course, but at least you
think you have the basic nar-
rative. When they were born;
if youre not lucky enough to
have them still alive, when they
died, and where they are buried.
Where they went to high school,
and to college; how many sib-
lings they had, how many chil-
dren; their friends and relatives,
their professions and hobbies,
their memberships.
And also, of course, any signifi-
cant honors.
Morris Abramowitz, Roberta
Seltzers father, spent most of
his career as a patrolman in the
Bronx. Ms. Seltzer knows that.
But until she pulled a large certifi-
cate out of a cardboard box as she
packed up her mothers apart- when her oldest son was some-
ment in Hackensack, she had no where in his midteens. Her oldest
idea that hed been inducted into child, Ida, took care of the three
the New York City police depart- youngest children.
ments Honor Legion. During their mothers illness
Nor does she know why he and through the period between
never told her, her sister, or even her death and their fathers
their mother about the honor, or remarriage, however, Morris
about what he did to earn it. and the brother just below him
Ms. Seltzer, a Jewish educator in age, William, were sent to
who specializes in music edu- an orphanage.
cation, lives in Fair Lawn she Thats another part of Ameri-
and her husband, Fred, have can Jewish life in the early 20th
lived there for decades but she century that we dont know
grew up in the Bronx. She knew, much about any more. Orphan-
of course, that her father was a Roberta Seltzer looks at photos of her parents, Morris and Julia Abramowitz. ages then were not only places
police officer, but he never talked Inset, Morris Abramowitz in his NYPD uniform. for children with no parents.
about his work, she said. They also sheltered children
To look at Mr. Abramowitzs life is to grandchildren, with some stories told immigrated to the United States when whose parents could not take care of them
be given a peek at a very specific slice of often and others left untold. Morris was six months old; the other because they were too sick, because they
early- to mid-20th century New York Jew- Mr. Abramowitz was born in Russia in four children were born in this country. were too poor, because they were too des-
ish life, as well as into the way those his- 1905, the second of an eventual six chil- His mother soon got sick and then, like perate, because they simply gave up. In
tories were passed down to children and dren. His parents, Louis and Fannie, so many others, she died of tuberculosis, northern New Jersey, such children often
They taught my
father such
practical things.
He was very
domesticated.
He would cook
and clean
and shop.
The Cottage School in Pleasantville, a
pretty suburban town in northern West- The memorabilia of Morris Abromowitzs career as a New York policeman include the proclamation of his membership in
chester County, was the first of a new the NYPDs Honor Legion, a 1934 letter from the Bronxs district attorney, his police badge, and his slapstick.
model of orphanages, a model both for
Jews and then for non-Jews as well. The very happy. Every year, hed take my sis- the local public school, Evander Fields. mean, she said, and his pictures show it.
school was funded by wealthy Jews, who ter and my mother and me there. But his And then Mr. Abramowitz had to figure He was in very good physical shape, Ms.
sent money from around the world for this brother hated it, she added. His mother out what to do next. The Depression had Seltzer said. He loved sports; he was on
exciting social experiment. Children at the was dying, and he didnt have the same not yet hit it was on its way but there the police departments basketball team.
school lived in small groups, about 25 to maturity, and he just hated it. She knew were not many promising options for He wasnt particularly tall about 57
a cottage, and each cottage had a pair of a bit about the depth of her uncles loath- young men in the Bronx. He did some odd but people were shorter then, she said.
house parents. The students were taught ing by the fact that he changed his name, jobs. He banged around a bit. He did what And he was slender, but very muscular.
both academics and practical skills. At going from Abramowitz to Adams. His he could. And then, his daughter said, a The Shomrim Society, the organization
least some of the time, the fact that chil- experience at the Cottage School was friend told him that the police department for Jewish police officers and later for their
dren and teenagers are people, with real enough to put him off Jewishness for life. was hiring. families as well shomrim are people who
emotional needs, was not only acknowl- Although her father loved the Cottage In 1930, Morris Abramowitz joined the watch, and who by extension stand guard
edged in the abstract but put into practice School, he did not talk about his expe- New York City police department. He was founded in the early 1920s. Morris
as well. Lessons that educators and social riences there very much, Ms. Seltzer remained with the department until he Abramowitz was an enthusiastic member,
reformers learned at that school later said. Most of what she knows about the retired in 1966. and his daughter still is.
influenced other institutions. school, other than what she could see on I dont think that there were many Jews Morris Abramowitz and Julia Newman
They taught my father such practical her familys annual outings, comes from on the police force, Ms. Seltzer said. Most got married in 1934. They met cute. Julia
things, Ms. Seltzer said. He was very later research. of the cops were Irish. He used to say that was born on the Lower East Side, but later
domesticated. He would cook and clean Morris Abramowitz left the Cottage on Ash Wednesday, the Irish cops would the family moved up to the Bronx, where
and shop. He learned it there. And he had School when his father married Sarah, say, Bend down, Abramowitz. Ill put ash Morris was walking his beat. He must
such beautiful handwriting! who became his beloved stepmother. on your forehead. have looked at her and thought she looked
My father got such a wonderful back- He was still in school; his high-school Her father looked more Irish than ste- Jewish, Roberta said. And that, more or
ground there, she continued. He was diploma, earned around 1923, came from reotypically Jewish, whatever that might less, was that.
Morris and Julia Abramowitz lived in the Bronx, first time any pope had gone anywhere in the West-
close to his father and stepmother, Louis and Sarah. ern Hemisphere, and the first time any pope had left
Louis was a tailor. He used to fix my little spring Italy since 1809. It was a big deal for the city, and a
coats for Passover, Ms. Seltzer said. I think he was major big deal for the Jewish cop guarding him.
a good tailor. We wore spring coats back then, and I In general, though with the popes trip a major
remember that they always were pretty. exception Mr. Abramowitz never talked about
Ms. Abramowitz worked transcribing Dictaphone work, Ms. Seltzer said, and her husband confirmed.
recordings, but what she really loved was music. She Of course, he carried a gun. Hed take target prac-
sang in Abraham Binders chorus at the Y in New tice at the Kingsbridge Armory, hed always have the
York, Ms. Seltzer said. She would get on the subway gun in its holster when he was walking his beat, and
every Wednesday to go there. And she sang in Carn- when he was at home it would be up on a shelf in the
egie Hall with the chorus. (Abraham Wolf Binder was closet. Today, gun safety experts would be very and
a composer who taught at the Hebrew Union College appropriately! horrified. No one ever used to lock
in downtown Manhattan; he also was the founding anything up, Ms. Seltzer said. We just knew never to
musical director of the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue touch it. And they never did. We were good girls,
on Manhattans Upper West Side.) she said. We were told not to touch it, so we didnt.
When she was young and her mother sang opera, And no, she doesnt shoot. Never has. I had no inter-
or even listened to opera on the radio, I would cover est, she said.
my ears, Ms. Seltzer said ruefully. She is, after all, He wouldnt show me the gun either, Mr. Seltzer
a music teacher now. I wasnt crazy about opera said. He just didnt want to take it out.
then, she admitted. And my mother had a wonder- The dangers were implied. Mr. Abramowitz never
ful natural voice. talked about it.
The Abramowitzs marriage was happy, and it The risk of carrying a gun, the responsibility that
lasted until 1977, when Morris died. came along with it, weighed heavily on Morris, both
Her father was a uniformed patrolman in the 46th Seltzers said. But after he retired and had grand-
precinct for most of his career, Ms. Seltzer said. Once children, he mellowed. He smiled more. He unbent
he was too old and too tired for that job, he trans- more. Still, he never talked about his work, neither
ferred to the Bronx County Courthouse, on the Grand while it was ongoing nor after he retired from it. That
Concourse. Later, in a career highlight, he was one was an unbreakable rule. Clockwise from left, Ida, Paula, Fannie, Louis, Morris, and
of the phalanx of cops guarding Pope Paul VI as he The only other clear sign she remembers of her baby William Abramowitz. Morris poses like the policeman he
presided over a mass in Yankee Stadium. It was the fathers job, other than the uniform and the gun, was will become one day.
GALLERY TOURS
Led by well-known artists
and art historians
Tobi Kahn,
winner of New York Magazines
Best Art Gallery Tour Director
Ronnit Vasserman,
contemporary art expert from
the Art Connect Group
SEPTEMBER 1
Thank you Camp Shalom for your role as our founding SWIMATHON site, Synagogue Directory
and for enthusiastically supporting this event since its inception.
SEPTEMBER 15
Thank you Chabad Kidde Camp for your participation again this year in our
SWIM for SINAI event.
Healthy Living & Adult Lifestyles
Thank you Camp Shira and Camp Al Haderech for becoming the first camps SEPTEMBER 22
to join our SWEAT for SINAI team. Fall Spice - Fashion - Home Design - Real Estate
Thank you to our dedicated Swimathon committee: Jenny Gans, Miriam
Kaminetsky, Miriam Motechin, and Ilana Rauzman (Chair), and to Akiva M. OCTOBER 27
Goldfarb, Esq., who underwrote the entire summer fundraiser event series. Events & Celebrations
Most of all, thank you to the parents and sponsors for encouraging your
children to engage in this wonderful act of chesed. To advertise call 201-837-8818, ext. 121 or email
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September 7
September 14
other things. But to Ms. Seltzer, he was said. Who knew?
my rabbi, she said; she was inspired by Later, she found a handwritten docu-
Sponsored by him, and she loved him. ment hidden in a cardboard box, along
Sponsored by Cedar Lane Cedar Lane Management
Management Group Group So the Abramowitzes were an inter- with her fathers other job souvenirs.
www.cedarlane.net 201-907-0493
Looking For A Synagogue?
www.cedarlane.net 201-907-0493 esting family, partly prototypical, He lived very modestly, she shrugged.
partly idiosyncratic. But what about It was the proclamation of his induction
the certificate? into the Honor Legion.
In the 1970s, the Abramowitzes moved The story the typewritten letter told
to Hackensack, where they became was that the defendant walked into a
active members of Temple Beth El, a restaurant, ordered something to eat,
Congregation Bnai Israel is Conservative synagogue in easy walking
distance of their new home. Morris, who
and after satisfying himself that there
was no one else in the store except two
ALIVE
had retired in 1966, died in 1977; decades workers, to wit, Peter Zydes and George
later, in 2011, Julia died. Russell, he immediately directed them
Meanwhile, the Seltzers flourished. to go into the back of the store and put
WITH
They have been married for 50 years their hands up. He brandished a very
now, and they have two children and large carving knife, and he also had
two grandchildren. Fred, who has his other hand in his pocket point-
retired, was successful as a marketer, ing forward as if there was a revolver
SPIRIT!
and Roberta has developed relation- therein. When he passed by, Patrol-
ships with synagogues across most man Abramowitz noticed the two men
of the Jewish world, from Chabad to with their hands up, so he immedi-
Reform, as she has taught music to their ately drew his service revolver and
students. If you add up all the years I plunged into the store and subdued the
Join Our Growing Community. have worked at all these places, I have defendant. True, there was no gun,
worked more than 100 years, she said. but until he had the bad guy, Robert
Although Ms. Seltzer is reluctant to Coyle, under control, he had no way of
Spirited Jewish Programming Our Spirited Rabbi identify herself as belonging to any one knowing that.
Spiritual, family and innovative themed Rabbi Debra Orenstein Jewish stream I say I am Jewish, she Mr. Abramowitz also recovered the
Shabbat services is a seventh generation said. I cant put myself in a category money Coyle had stolen from the cash
Entertaining special events for adults, rabbi who embodies
the family is a longtime member of a register $10.75, according to the letter.
families and kids the perfect combination
Topical adult education sessions of intellect, warmth, Conservative shul, the Fair Lawn Jew- Later he learned that Coyle had
Shalom Baby spirituality and charm. ish Center. recently been released from Elmira
Active Clubs: Sisterhood, Mens Club, In 2004, Ms. Seltzer convinced her Reformatory. He was dangerous.
Significant Seniors, Social Action
Our Spirited Cantor mother to move to the Jewish Home at Why had her father never mentioned
Spirited Hebrew School Cantor Lenny Mandel is Rockleigh. The night before I took here any of this? I dont know why, Ms.
Thriving student population (public a rabbi and cantor whose there, I was in my mothers apartment, Seltzer said. Her parents were engaged
school grades K-8) passion for music brings
Talented teaching staff
going through things, and I just hap- when it happened, but not yet married.
an added level of creativity
Strong curriculum to our services. pened to look in a drawer, she said. I I think he didnt want my mother to
found a copy of a letter from the Bronx worry, she added. But really, she said,
Share a Spirited Future
Become a part of a progressive, warm district attorney. The letter detailed, in she has no idea why he never talked
and welcoming Jewish community a striking combination of formal, slightly about it, either then or later. It was such
Join with families hailing from 15 pedantic language and vivid, unex- a surprise, she said. The document had
Bergen County towns
pected images, an act of heroism Morris been in its cardboard box for 81 years,
Our membership has grown for 10
straight years Abramowitz had performed. unrecognized.
New members get half-off first year It was written in 1934; the copy she We are told that if you save one life, it
dues if registered by September 15 found in Hackensack had been sent in is as if you save the universe, Ms. Seltzer
See for Yourself Congregation Bnai Israel 1977, most likely triggered by news of her said. My father saved two universes.
Arrange a synagogue tour and/or join An Innovative Conservative Synagogue fathers death. Most likely, her mother, And he never told us.
us for Friday night or Sunday morning overcome with grief and details, saw Finding out something like this about
services. Call Joyce Schreiber at 53 Palisade Avenue, Emerson, NJ
that it wasnt a bill and never even had your father after so many years is heart-
201-694-5667 or e-mail 201-265-2272 www.bisrael.com taken it out of the envelope. Certainly warming and very emotional, she said.
membership.chair@bisrael.com.
she never focused on it. And sort of surprising, and sort of not
It was such a surprise! Ms. Seltzer surprising at all.
Back
to
School Teaching
Money Smarts
Getting Your Sleep A Bounty of
Too Cool for School After-School,
Nursery, Religious
Trendy Fashions School Programs
for Fall and More!
E R
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1 7 TE R
LD E N
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R G IN 20 CE N
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I
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ob ED I CA
T H
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O H I LT
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AT
Atlantic Health System is introducing an innovative approach to pediatric care at Chilton Medical Center, the
only one of its kind in the northern NJ region. The Childrens Center will offer an exceptional level of care to
our most precious patients, combining pediatric emergency services and inpatient care within a brand-new,
family-friendly environment.
With sleeping accommodations for parents, a kids playroom and a family lounge, our team of experienced
and compassionate pediatric physicians and nurses will put your familys needs first. And, because we are part
of Atlantic Health System, there is ready access to more than 100 pediatric specialists who provide advanced
expertise at Goryeb Childrens Hospital at Morristown Medical Center.
THERE
Sept. 2017ISRegistration
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Now Open
OurChildren
About
Learn About Theand
A Creative Revolution
Exciting In
September 2017
HEBREW SCHOOL
HEBREW SCHOOL Education
Education
New Perspective for the New Year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5
In BergeninCounty
for Children Grades 3-7
JEWISH Y UTH
A mother looks at her progress with new eyes
!
Financial Institutions Teaching Money Cents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..12
Banks, credit unions helping youngsters
All new
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Tips to get money smarts
Doing Wonders for Girls with Cancer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Thrilling New Rides!
Salon owner Lillian Lee helps with her wigs Giant Slides Giant Spider
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MissionStatement About
About Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of OurChildren
the resources available to them. By providing useful, current, accurate information, this publication aims to guide
parents to essential information on faith, education, the arts, events, and child-raising in short, everything that James L. Janoff Natalie Jay Ruth Carmel
Publisher Advertising Director Adina Soclof
todays Jewish family, babies to grandparents, needs to live life to the fullest in North Jersey and Rockland County.
Heidi Mae Bratt Peggy Elias Ed Silberfarb
Editor Janice Rosen Denise Morrison Yearian
Deborah Herman Brenda Sutcliffe Contributing Writers
OurChildren
About
S
top me if youve heard this one be-
fore.
A clueless first-time mom has a
lifelong habit of denial, so her two-year-
old cant possibly have a problem. Then,
okay, he has a problem, but it will fix itself
(like everyone tells her). Then she and
her husband get him diagnosed and its
something called PDD, which means Per-
vasive Developmental Disorder; at least
its not autism that seems to be sweeping
the nation.
Only, of course, it is.
Fast-forward and my son (call him
Cory) is a teenager. Not a regular teen,
but my beloved son, anyway. His speech
is a little stilted, and he gets annoyed if
he sees someone smoking on the street
(because it could kill you, so why would
you do it?).
Lifes not what it was supposed to be,
but maybe it was supposed to be much
more challenging, and what Im paddling
through is a sea of blessing. Who knows?
Im in a contemplative mood.
Rosh Hashanah is coming. For the not unchangeable. When you know what also found out about email groups of par- and I were disappointed but chose School
last few years, Ive made a note to my- to call a problem, you start asking ques- ents of special-needs kids. Night or day, B. Before the school year started, Cory
self before the holiday of what I should tions that lead to answers. I can ask any question or voice any fear, went to the summer program at School B.
request when praying for a good year. There have been plenty of missteps never having to sugarcoat my words, and Soon we realized it was the wrong place
The other day I checked out last years along the way. Early on, Cory was in a theres always a parent to listen, or share for him. Mid-August, I told Shannon, Co-
list and realized how much progress Cory mainstream nursery school. We were what she knows. rys speech therapist, how concerned I
has made. Not a moment too soon, either. looking for a special-needs setting but still 3. Feel as awful as you need to feel... was. She suggested I call School A again.
Id been feeling low. Some new medicine clinging to a secret hope that his issues up to a point. So youre not a pioneer. Whats the worst that could happen?
Cory is on thats not the hoped-for cure- would fix themselves. That episode was a Still, you are unique, and your childs is- she said. So theyll turn you down a sec-
all. It helps to remember that the last 12 disaster. But it showed me Cory needed a sues are unique to her. You dont have to ond time. Cory has come so far since the
months were, indeed, productive. school that was right for him, not one that adopt someone elses brand of optimism. winter. Try it. I called the admissions per-
Noticing the good stuff: Thats just fit some preconceived idea I had about Early on, family members would assure son at School A. To my shock, he told us
one thing Ive learned as the mom of a where a child of mine should be. An ego- me that things would be okay. Sometimes to come in. Cory was accepted, and spent
special-needs child. So in the spirit of the puncture can be a gift. thats exactly what I needed to hear. Other the next five years there.
season of renewal, here are five key les- 2. Get out there. This part is about times, I wanted to dig a hole and descend 5. Where we started: Let the positive
sons from me to you: showing up. The world is full of people to the bowels of the earth and disappear. catch your eye. Its easier to acknowledge
1. Face whats wrong head-on. With and ideas that can help you; meet it half- I eventually turned to therapy, and my the bad than accept the good. When your
apologies to the Rolling Stones, time is way. Dont isolate yourself. Go to lectures doctor also prescribed a little pharma- child struggles to do what should come
not on your side. Not if your child has about what your kid has. Network with ceutical help. I still get sad, at times, but naturally, you can find yourself so focused
a problem you need to address. When parents in his school. After Corys diag- its manageable. Im better at figuring out on helping him overcome his deficits that
Cory was born, he seemed normal. About nosis, I learned of a group at the local what will make me feel better, whether its you overlook his strengths. But dont.
a year later, he began to withdraw and JCC for parents of special-needs kids. The prayer, or a movie with a good friend, or Notice what your child can do that she
not make eye contact. My husband and first time I went there I was so sad, full reaching out to an online parents group, couldnt do a few years ago. Notice what
I were freaked out. We finally faced the of shame about my sons condition. And or rocky-road ice cream. he can do that normal kids cant. Step-
facts, months later than we should have, then I met these parents who had gone 4. Risk no. If you need something ping back and taking perspective reminds
and found a specialist to evaluate and di- through, more or less, what I was going for your child, keep trying to get it. When you theres something to celebrate.
agnose Cory. Having your fears confirmed through. It was so heartening to learn I planning for Cory to start kindergarten, Like Rosh Hashanah.
is terrifying. But sooner or later, you re- was no pioneer, that there were others I took him for an interview at School A.
mind yourself that a diagnosis is just a la- who had been where I was and could They turned him down, feeling he was Ruth Carmel is a nom de plume. She is a
bel, not a sentence. And, with Gods help, help me find my footing. Over the years I not ready for their program. My husband mother, writer and attorney.
School Is Starting
And So Should
Margaret Ravits M.D.
The Good Sleep Routine
and Associates Dermatology H e i d i M a e B rat t
Serving the NJ community since 1980
T
he summer ebbs and the transition from freewheel-
Providing Expert Dermatology Care for ing vacation with its relaxed schedule to a more
Beautiful & Healthy Skin, Hair, and Nails rigorous bedtime and rising schedule is about to
kick in. Its a good idea to try and transition children into
Treating Babies, Children, going to bed earlier before they really have to to accus-
Teens and Adults tom them to the change.
Sleep is so essential to a childs health and welfare.
Not only is the rest essential for a youngsters growth and
body repair, but a lack of sleep can result in a plethora of
problemsphysical, psychological and behavioral.
The Valley Health Systems Pediatric Sleep Disorders
Hackensack RiveR eDge
and Apnea Center is expanding its services to offer Be-
721 summit ave. 130 kinderkamack Rd., suite 205
(201) 487-3691 (201) 692-0800 havorial Sleep Coaching for children, from newborns to
teens. The service offers treatment for the psychosocial,
www.ravitsdermatology.com
psychological and environmental factors that commonly
www.facebook.com/DrRavits
interfere with sleep.
Sleep coaching utilizes proven approaches to build
healthy sleep habits so that children can get a better
nights sleep, said Dr. Stephanie Zandieh, the director of
Pediatric Sleep Medicine at Valley. Whether we are help- in two to four sessions.
Reserve early ing a child overcome their fear of the dark or teaching a Dr. Zandieh and Kim Cahill work collaboratively to
for our toddler to fall asleep without their parent in the room, we accurately diagnose and treat sleep disorders. During
work collaboratively with patients and their families to an initial consultation, they will meet with patients and
develop treatment plans that are uniquely suited to each their families to obtain a complete medical and sleep his-
OurChildren
About
H
ere are some tips to help your child bath and a bedtime story. of returning to the room is A more gradual approach
sleep through the night offered by Create a consistent bedroom environ- to reassure your child that is to teach your child to
Dr. Stephanie Zandieh, the direc- ment. Make sure your childs bedroom en- you are still present and to fall asleep on her own, but
tor of Pediatric Sleep Medicine at Valley vironment is the same at bedtime as it is reassure yourself that you with you in the room. This
Hospital. throughout the night, for example, lighting. child is okay. approach may take longer,
Develop an appropriate sleep Put your child to bed awake. After Respond to your but it can feel more com-
schedule with an early bedtime. Ironi- the bedtime routine, put your child into her child during the night. In fortable for some families.
cally, the more tired your child is, the crib awake and leave the room. Remember, the beginning, respond to The first step is to put your
more times she will awaken during the the key to having your child sleep through your child as you normally child into her crib awake
night. As such, be sure your child contin- the night is to have your child learn to fall do throughout the night. Dr. Stephanie Zandieh, and sit on a chair next to it.
director of the Pediatric
ues to take naps during the day and set an asleep on her own, so they can put them- Research indicates that Once she is able to consis-
Sleep Disorders and Apnea
early bedtime. selves back to sleep when they naturally the majority of children Center at The Valley tently fall asleep this way,
Introduce a security or love object awaken during the night. will naturally be sleeping Hospital. sit farther and farther away
to your child. A transitional object, like a Have a method for checking. If your throughout the night with- every three to four nights
stuffed toy, doll or blanket, helps a child child cries or yells, check on him or her. in 12 weeks of falling asleep quickly and until you are in the hallway and no longer
feel safe and secure when you are not Wait for as long or as short a time as you easily at bedtime. If your child continues in sight.
present. Help your child become attached wish. For some children, frequent check- to awaken during the night after several Be consistent and dont give up.
to a security object by including it as a ing is effective. For others, infrequent weeks, then use the same checking meth- The first few nights are likely to be very
part of the bedtime routine. In addition, checking works best. Continue returning od during the night as you did at bedtime. challenging and often the second or third
try to include this object whenever you to check on your child as long as she is Take a more gradual approach. night is worse than the first night. How-
are cuddling or comforting your child. crying or upset. The visits should be brief Some parents feel that not being pres- ever, within a few nights to a week, you
Have a bedtime routine. Establish a (one minute) and non-stimulating. Calmly ent when their child falls asleep feels will begin to see improvement.
Eye Exams
Contact Lenses Tues. 10-6 Wed. 10-5:30
Dr. Steven D. Starkman, O.D. Thurs. 10-8 Fri. 10-3
Sun. 11 to 2 (after Labor Day)
489 Cedar Lane, Teaneck Shomer Shabbos
201-836-9199 *CR-39 lenses up to 4.00DS and -2.00DC
OurChildren
About
B
At All Office Locations on Weekdays uying new shoes and books and
getting your routine adjusted to the
Call our main office to schedule a new schedule are part and parcel
of entering the new school year. Also on
free Meet-the-Doctor visit. the list for many parents is making sure
Meet a physician and the staff! their children get their pre-school check-
ups and are in good health as they buckle
down with their books.
Dr. Howard Friedman, senior partner
at Washington Avenue Pediatrics in Ber-
Offices in Tenafly, Fort Lee, Paramus, genfield, has been very busy seeing his
patients before the school year begins. Hand-washing is key to proper hygiene.
FIRST place Oakland, Clifton, and Park Ridge Advice abounds for the upcoming
pediatrics
201-569-2400 www.tenaflypediatrics.com school yearfrom making sure that a the year, said Dr. Jetley.
child gets proper nutrition, he or she gets Dental checkups also rank high on
ample exercise, that teeth are properly the before-school to-do list.
brushed, flossed, and irrigated. Teaneck Dentist, which just moved its
We are checking to see how a child offices to a new location at 1008 Teaneck
is doing and how he or she was doing Road, and added a third dentist, Dr. Sami
from the previous year, said Dr. Fried- Solaimanzadeh, to the practice. It is host-
$50
vaccinated, Dr. Friedman says. Optical in Teaneck.
Also, its time to prepare for the flu They get their dental checks and
Cash only (reg. $100)
season. their shots to make sure they are nice and
When you mention this ad Tenafly Pediatrics announced on its healthy, but if they are not going to see
website that it has received its first ship- well, they are going to have problems in
ment of flu shots and are able to schedule school, said Dr. Starkman.
We Can Do Everything Your Regular children who are 3 and older for inocula- Dr. Starkman does a full eye exam to
tion. Supplies are still pending for patients make sure that visual function is optimal.
Doctor Can Do and More! 6 to 36 months old, but the practice will If a child needs corrective lenses or eye-
update its information for parents to glasses his store carries a wide range of
We Offer Stitches, Wound Repair, bring in younger children. child-friendly eyewear, including items
Dr. Ajay Jetley, who specializes in that can be customized right on the spot.
Splinting & XRays Onsite! emergency medicine and who owns A+ For contact lenses, Dr Starkman said, he
Urgent Care in Cresskill, advised that would only recommend them to young-
Open Mon. - Fri. 8am-8pm Sat. - Sun. 9am-5pm reminding children of proper hygiene sters who are mature enough to handle
is very important in the prevention of the hygienic responsibility of their use.
46 Union Avenue Cresskill 201-399-7695 illness.
Washing hands is so important to Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our
www.aplusurgentcarenj.com prevent kids from getting sick throughout Children.
OurChildren
About
T
here is one great parenting skill that skill: how to inject humor into our every Our toy box is invisible to pirates but not Pretend: Have everyone imagine they
beats all others, and that is the abil- day lives. Life is tough, but a sense of hu- to us! are at a tea party or eating with King and
ity to be playful with our children. mor can always help. Play the incompetent fool: Where do Queen in a palace.
Children love to play. They love being silly Joanna Faber and Julie King in their all these toys go? I know the dolls go in Play the incompetent fool: I am not
and goofy but most of all they like when book, How To Talk So Little Kids Listen, the back of the pick up truck! Right? No? sure how to eat this! Where does this go?
the adults in their lives play with them. outline some simple ways we can use They go in the red bin! I am so silly! How is this going to get into my stomach?
They love it when their parents get down humor and playfulness to our advantage Sing: Putting on some of your kids fa- Through my ear?
to their level and are silly and goofy, too. when dealing with young children: vorite tunes or just singing the clean up
It might take some extra energy and cre- song can do wonders. Bedtime:
ativity on our parts, but in the end, when Clean up time: Make it a game: Tonight is inside out
humor is used, we enjoy it too. Make it a game: Lets see how many toys Morning rush: night! Everyone needs to wear their paja-
It is not all fun and games. The ben- we can pick up in three minutes! Make it a game: Tell everyone they are air- mas inside out and sleep with their pillow
efits of play are manifold. It helps parents Make inanimate objects have feelings: planes and they need to be ready for take on the opposite side of the bed! Lets get
and kids bond and connect. Play reduces These toys are so sneaky! They dont off at a certain time. ready and go!
tension, bringing laughter instead of frus- want to go into their boxes! Sneaky toys, Make inanimate objects talk: Your Make inanimate objects talk: Tooth-
tration. Kids are much more likely to co- you cant hide from us! We are going to bed is saying that you are too heavy! He brush- Ugh, I dont want to go into your
operate when they are asked to do things get you! wants you out right now! What you cant mouth. It is so wet and slimy in there. Do
in playful ways. Pretend: Lets pretend the toys are hear him! Bed, you need to talk louder so I really have to?
Eli can hear you! Give silly choices: Should we sleep
Use silly voices and pretend: I am upside down like bats or stand on one leg
your teacher, Mrs. M., I cannot teach you like flamingos?
in bed today. I am very sorry! How can we Pretend: Lets imagine we are out in
color pictures when we are lying down in the woods and we are camping tonight.
bed! Our crayons will get lost under all Do you hear the owls hooting? Do smell
those covers. I need to teach you in our the campfire
classroom! Be creative and fun and most of all
Play the incompetent fool: Oh my enjoy playing youre your kids!
goodness! Where can Sara be? I dont see
her getting dressed! Is she in her drawer? Adina Soclof is the director of Parent
In the toy box? Is she in the closet? She is Outreach for A+ Solutions, facilitating
still in bed! Oh no! How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and
Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings
Dinnertime: Without Rivalry work- shops. She is avail-
Make inanimate objects talk and use silly able for speaking engagements. Check
voices: Have the broccoli say, Dont eat out www.parentingsimply.com for more
me! I dont want to be in your dark stom- information.
OurChildren
About
CHARGE IT
Put a face on technology. Designer Sativa Turners cool
characters set your white devices apart. Will fit iPhone,
iPod, and iPad. www.uncommongood.com.
POMEGRANATE POWER
For the writer, artist and student poet, a set of colored
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT pencils with a decorative pad of paper all rolled up in
This purse by Israel-based designer Barbara Shaw a signature print. Made in Israel. www.moderntribe.
depicts traditional Jewish fare, the schnitzel. Great com.
for storing school supplies, cosmetics, change, gelt
and more. Handmade in Israel. www.moderntribe.
com.
DINO-MITE WRITING
KEEP CALM & CARRY ON As every 5 year old knows, the Tyrannosaurus Rex
Check out these colorful backpacks and book bags for your back-to- was a mighty carnivorous dinosaur during the late
school needs from Marcias Attic for Kids. These carriers will keep Cretaceous period. Now grab its tail and write on with the
your books protected and you in style. Marcias Attic For Kids, 29 N. Tyrannosaurus Rex pen. www.perpetualkids.com.
Dean St., Englewood. 201-894-5701.
OurChildren
About
Financial Institutions
Teaching Kids the Basics of Money
H E I D I M A E B RAT T stepping up to the plate with education ings or passbook. While most banks have out a debit card, and take small dollar
and programs to help youngsters learn done away with passbooks, said Ms. amount loans for fun things like prom or
H
ow often have we heard the lament about money early on. They offer youth Russo, Valley has not discontinued them new technology (some lending restric-
that if only the ins and outs of mon- programs for savings, new checking ac- because it helps the children watch their tions do apply). As they age through this
ey were taught earlier to young- counts with accompanying debit cards, savings grow. program they can take advantage of larg-
sters they would be better off? and Pay for A incentives that allow the We offer these programs to promote er dollar amount loans or a higher limit
More than ever when daily transac- student clients to make money if they the importance of savings for the future credit card. High school seniors are also
tions are done with a quick swipe or an make the grade. and to help them on their way to build a encouraged to apply for an annual schol-
insertion of a chip on a card, where mon- For example, at Valley National Bank, solid foundation, said Ms. Russo. arship or take advantage of private stu-
ey isnt seen as greenback dollars and with branches in Fair Lawn, Englewood, The bank also offers a teen checking dent lending solution.
silvery coins, but rather as shiny plastic, Wayne, and other locations, the bank has account that comes with a debit card to Additionally, Visions is involved with
learning about money basics like budget- a savings account geared for children, help teenagers manage money. financial literacy programs to members
ing, saving, investing, requires education which offers up to a $20 match (put in At Visions Federal Credit Union, there of the community in those age groups as
from all fronts the schools, parents, and $20, get $20) of the first deposit, and a are programs for youngsters from birth to well. The younger group would benefit
from financial institutions. 6-month promotional rate of interest, said 23. Its Kirby Kangaroo Club covers chil- from the Save, Spend, Share program.
Thus, many financial institutions, Thomasine Russo, director of marketing. dren 12 and under with their very first These classes are taught to religious
such as banks and credit unions, are This account can be a statement sav- savings account. The program includes a youth groups, scout troops, day camps,
savings passbook, ID card, savings bank, and other special youth clubs and cen-
special birthday card from Kirby, a kids ters. Its widespread financial literacy pro-
quarterly newsletter and a website/app gram starts around middle school and
to play money-themed games. Youngsters continues through college. The presenta-
are encouraged to make deposits and ev- tion is tailored to the audience. Through
ery time a child makes a deposit of $5 or a partnership with EverFi the program
more they receive a prize. Kirby offers fun reaches more schools, especially in New
parties throughout the year and invites all Jersey.
SMART
club members. The parties are also free to Also, Visions provides in-class presen-
the community. tations on credit score, the importance of
After members turn 13, they can grad- a checking account, keeping identity safe,
CHOICES
uate to Visions SmartStart program. They
can open their first checking account, try Financial continued on page14
START HERE
Smart budgeting later on starts with the lessons they learn now. Visions Federal Credit Union
helps parents and children look ahead with age-appropriate programs that teach responsible
money management for life.
Life is unscripted. Trust Visions at every stage. Learn more at www.visionsfcu.org/youth
visionsfcu.org
$25 $150
UP TO
For children and young adults under For teens 13 to 16 years of age For todays young adults
18 years of age Minimum opening balance of $25 (17-26 years of age)
Minimum opening balance of $1 Free Debit Card Minimum opening balance of $25
0.50% APY is guaranteed for 6 months Mobile and Online Banking Free Debit Card
Its never too early to start saving Learning to be financially responsible Mobile App with Mobile Deposit
and Bill Pay
800-522-4100
valleynationalbank.com
Kids First Savings ClubSM Account: Valley will match up to $20 of the initial deposit at account opening. Minimum to open is $1.00; 0.50% Annual Percentage Yield is guaranteed for six months. Available for children and
young adults under 18 years of age. At age 25 the account reverts to a regular savings account. Rates subject to change without prior notice. VNB Teen Checking: Open a new account and receive $25 reward within 90
days of account opening when you apply for a debit card. At age 17, the VNB Teen Checking Account will automatically convert to a VNB My Choice Checking Account. A parent/guardian is required to be a joint account
holder. A $5 monthly maintenance fee will be waived if the account is linked to a parent/guardians checking account, or account receives a recurring monthly direct deposit, or the average daily balance during the monthly
statement cycle is $1,000 or greater. VNB My Choice Checking: Minimum opening deposit of $25 is required. Open a new account and receive $75 for activating Mobile Banking; plus $75 for completing a minimum of
20 debit card transactions of $5 or more or $75 for enrolling in online banking and completing three online bill payment transactions. To qualify for Rewards, the above is required to be completed within the first 60 days of
account opening and will be paid within 90 days of account opening. At age 26, the VNB My Choice Checking Account will automatically convert to a Valley Perfect Checking Account. 2017 Valley National Bank. Member
FDIC. All Rights Reserved. VCS-7684
OurChildren
About
Financial continued from page12 monthly transactions with no fee. Since beginning pro-
and what to do with your a paycheck, and life is a real- grams geared to young members, Ms. Ingersoll said,
ity events at some high schools. This program is meant to Weve seen a real increase of our youth account mem-
show the students what expenses they will incur with their bership. For other educational programs, Greater Alli-
first paycheck, and how the decisions they make can di- ance partners with financial management organizations
rectly impact their well-being (i.e. spending all your money to help its young members.
Together we can on an expensive car may not leave you enough money to At Lakeland Bank, with branches in Teaneck, En-
pay for the insurance and gas). glewood and throughout northern New Jersey, young-
make a difference. At Greater Alliance Federal Credit Union, which has sters can open a Young Savers Savings Account. The
At Lakeland Bank, giving back to the communities
branches in Paramus, Hackensack and Paterson, student account, a custodian account that is opened with a
account holders in grades 9th through 12th can get $3 parent, is good until a youth is 18 years old, and then
we serve has always been one of our top priorities.
added to their accounts for every A grade that they re- it becomes an adult account. The bank will match the
Whatever it takes to keep our local towns and
ceive, said Sheryline Ingersoll, director of marketing at first $10 of a deposit.
neighborhoods strong and thriving,
Greater Alliance Federal Credit Union. Lakeland Bank also offers no-fee student checking
you can count on us to lend a hand.
In addition, new members up to 21 years old can re- accounts for students 16 to 24 years old. The checking
LakelandBank.com 866-224-1379 ceive a good return on their deposits, 3 percent on their account features online banking and e-statements and an
first $1,000. And, on the anniversary of their account app that is compatible with mobile phones.
opening date, students get a gift card voucher as a token Ten years ago, banking on an app was the new-fan-
of appreciation. gled thing, now its the norm. Programs for youths also
Greater Alliance also offers a youth checking account have to address ATM safety and the importance of safe-
program for 15 to 21- year-old students. They can open guarding their identity.
the account with as little as $5 and there is no service
charge; they can write 50 checks for free and make 10 Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our Children.
OurChildren
About
T
here are four basic needs that every child needs, well: time to do homework, play on the computer, eat Older children and teens may resort to more drastic mea-
and if theyre not getting it that will negatively im- dinner and get into bed. sures when they dont get the attention they need from
pact their behavior. We need to make sure theyre You can involve your child and include his input. their parents.
getting these needs met before we can do anything else. When do you think the best time is for you to do your Spending time with our kids is key; even 10 minutes
homework? a day of your undivided attention will make a huge dif-
1. Sleep If the bus leaves at 7:30, how much time do you ference in their lives. Greeting our kids when they come
The first thing I ask a parent when they tell me that their think you need to get ready in the morning? What time home from school, sending them off in the morning, and
child is misbehaving is, Are they getting enough sleep? should you wake up? tucking them in at night is ideal.
And do they have a set bedtime? I often get quizzical
looks, as if it cant be as simple as that, but it often is just 4. Attention Adina Soclof is the director of Parent Outreach for A+
that simple. Children need their parents attention; it is critical to Solutions, facilitating How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and
So many kids today are seriously sleep deprived and their growth and development. They will try to get it any Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry
research has shown that sleepy kids result in bad behav- way they can. So if a parent is not paying attention to work- shops. She is available for speaking engagements.
ior. It seems like a no-brainer but somehow we overlook them, theyll resort to getting negative attention by mis- Check out www.parentingsimply.com for more information.
this. Additionally, children who have set bedtimes are
not only less whiny and cranky; they have a reduced risk
of obesity and score better on cognitive tests in reading,
math and spatial relations.
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sleep that they need.
2. Food
$25 minimum deposit balance
It seems too simple to even mention but we often over-
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$10 Gift Card** every year, on date
theyre hungry. And if you are experiencing more seri- account was opened
ous issues with your childs behavior ask yourself if your
SMART.
child tends to misbehave right before, lunch or dinner
time? Can you change those times to better meet the nu-
$3 for every A grade, at end of year***
tritional needs of your child?
So much of our lives are on the run that children (and
adults) are not getting their basic nutrition needs met. It ALSO CHECK OUT THE EDGE CHECKING ACCOUNT:
is much better for children to have set times for meals
and snacks than randomly handing them food. For members 15-21 years old****
I also cannot stress enough the importance of family
dinners. According to TheFamilyDinnerProject.org, the FREE VISA Debit Card
benefits of family dinners are significant:
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3. Routines
Children thrive on routines and set schedules. Young
children have so little control over their lives; they cling
to their little rituals. When children know what is ex-
pected of them, what is coming next, they have a much
easier time listening and are much more likely to be
cooperative. *Annual Percentage Yield effective 8/25/17 and is subject to change without notice. Additional verification may be requested for account open-
Having a set scheduled for the mornings and evening ing. Fees or other conditions could reduce earnings. Certain restrictions may apply. 3.00% APY is earned on balances up to $1,000, balance
is critical. Younger kids feel more secure when they know higher than $1,000 earn 0.10% APY. **A $10 gift voucher will be mailed to you, please bring the voucher to the branch to redeem your $10 gift
the routine: First we have dinner, bath, brush our teeth, card. ***You will need to bring in the final end of year report card to a nearest branch and we will deposit $3 into your Savings account based
and story time. Parents can make picture charts to help on the number of A grades you have received, grade 9 through 12 only. Membership conditions may apply.
children understand and stick to their routines.
Older kids find it helpful when they have a set time to
OurChildren
About
S
tylist and salon owner Lillian Lee has been doing donations started pouring in. Wigs they look like themselves. They can
wonders for womens self-esteem for decades. Af- that were being retired would get a go out and be a kid.
ter all, the hair of her clients and the wigs that she new life through the deft and creative Ms. Lee will go into the hospital
has styled for years at her eponymous shop is a womans touches from Ms. Lee. Reshaping the for the girl if she is unable to come
crowning glory. wig, cutting and coloring, adding to into her salon.
So when an illness such as cancer and its accom- it, resizing it, she was able to breathe Someone once asked me, What
panying chemotherapy treatments causes hair loss, new life into the wig, and had more are you getting out of this? I said, Do
it is a feelingthat we should not know fromof a stock to give the women who needed you see that girl smiling. Its for that
one-two punch. For about a dozen years, Ms. Lee has it most. smile. Ive been a stylist for 35 years,
been softening that blow to women by offering free Aliza Fischman, who grew up in and with Do Wonders, I feel like Ive
wigs, which she styles, colors, and customizes to these Teaneck as Aliza Novogroder, took accomplished something. Ive discov-
womenand to many young girlsthrough the char- up the cause with Ms. Lee and, her- ered my purpose and I am grateful
ity she founded, Do Wonders. self handy with a wig, Ms. Fischman that my career can help so many peo-
It really started by accident, said Ms. Lee, who helped in the effort to collect, style ple. And I know I couldnt do it with-
used to do her work from home. A friend of hers was and distribute the wigs. These days, out the support of this community.
diagnosed with cancer and lost her hair during chemo- shes handling the fundraising ef- A girl feels like herself again thanks to And sometimes, Ms. Lee said,
therapy treatments. She had an unused wig and thought forts of the nonprofit, which got its Lillian Lee and Do Wonders. the biggest gift is that when the girl
to fix it up and offer it to her friend. legal footing and name from the enthusiastic clients who is done with her treatments, and done with her wig, she
Her whole attitude changed, recalled Ms. Lee. I wanted to support the effort. returns it for another recipeient to wear. The girl, healthy
went on a mission. But this all happened organically. It Im so thrilled, honored and love being involved, now, has her hair grown in. And then, she goes to Ms. Lee
was nothing I had planned. said Ms. Fischman. A parent comes in here so despon- for her first haircut.
Once her clientele learned about her effort to offer dent. Here is their child, who they love so much and Said Ms. Lee, The blessings are continuous.
wigs to women during their cancer treatments, there they have to fight cancer, which is bad enough. And To donate a wig, contact Lillian Lee, 201-837-6770.
was a groundswell of support from many of her clients, then there is the emotional hardship of how the other
kids will react. Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our Children.
Weve heard from so many parents that this just
be adorable
Shomrei Torah -
Wayne Conservative Congregation
Religious School (PreK 7th Grade)
OurChildren
About
W
hats hot for fall? Fabrics that new styles come in a variety of fun fabrics tered look patches and appliqus from olive with hot pink trim.
are soft or ripped, vests that that are sparkly, metallic, or velvety soft. roses to emojis, camouflage patterns in For the tootsies, slides continue to
set off an outfit, emojis of Crushed velvet, that wonderful wrin- traditional olive, as well as pink, blue, be popular, as do pom poms on footwear
course and those ever-lovable unicorns kly, lustrous look popular in the late gray and wine, and unicorns. and hi-top sneakers with side or back zip
are the sartorial must-haves for school and 1960s, early 1970s, has made a big come- For boys, the rock n roll t-shirt never for easy on and off, with metal stud trim.
synagogue for this autumn season. back, as has anything that is distressed seems to go out of style, and a shirt that
Alene Brodsky Bloom, co-owner with holes, tears and rips, said Susan Sil- says something cute or smart to kick off a Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About
with Wendy Borodkin of Carlyz Craze in verstein, the buyer for Marcias Attic for conversation is what the guys are wearing. Our Children.
Marcias Attic
for Kids
Carlyz Craze
Marcias Attic Carlyz Craze
for Kids
Carlyz Craze
Czin Optical
Marcias Attic
for Kids Marcias Attic Carlyz Craze
Marcias Attic for Kids for Kids
GENERATION G
M
iles of windswept beach, trails and bike paths be- ist attraction. Throwing it back was easier said
hind dunes and coastal forests, and perhaps that The allure of Chincoteague was spe- than done. We had to dislodge the hook
ultimate reward, the sudden appearance of wild cial for us because we were invited to from its ravenous mouth without impal-
horses that roam the woods and wetlands of Virginias join our son, daughter-in-law and four ing our fingers.
Chincoteague Wildlife Refuge on Assateague Island. grandchildren on a brief vacation there. A few hours later when the tide
The horse story is not burdened by facts. Did they Grandpa, we want you and grand- shifted and the bait almost gone, our
swim ashore from shipwrecked Spanish galleons? Were ma to come with us. youngest grandson scored a triumph.
they let out to graze by 17th century settlers? Whatev- There would be two motel rooms for The authors grandson and his He landed a respectable looking fish of
catch.
eight people, four days supply of kosher a reasonable size. Of course we had no
ART
food, a toaster oven and a small fridge. facility for cleaning and scaling it, nor
No problem, we were assured. Each room had two could we cook it in the toaster oven at the motel, so af-
Lessons
Art of Excellence Studio
double beds, a sleep sofa and a large balcony that could
accommodate a pillow and some bedding if there was
no rain.
ter posing for a few pictures with his catch, he made the
grand gesture and gave it to one of the proper fishermen
on the pier.
Unlock your Creativity with Classes in We arrived in two cars that we quickly unloaded, The fishing expedition was gender-directed. Mean-
Drawing and Watercolor then headed for the beach. Grandchildren ages 9 to 17 while my wife, daughter-in-law and granddaughter were
Structured Lessons - Relaxed Atmosphere romped like deer on the sand and breached the surf like surveying the Chincoteague shops and arts and craft
Fabulous Results!
dolphins. My wife and I maintained squatters rights in displays. They passed up the hand-carved duck decoys,
Age 7 to Adult - All levels of ability
front of the dunes while Frisbees flew about us. which were considered national treasures, but were at-
Art Portfolio Preparation Available
Then at the motel we settled in for dinner. There was tracted to the local jewelry creations bracelets, neck-
Artist, Rina Goldhagen 201-248-4779
www.artofexcellencestudio.com
a knock on the door. It was one of the beachcombers still laces and earrings set with opals, turquoise and other
in bathing trunks, a grandson with a casserole fresh out gemstones. Budget restraints prevailed, however.
of the toaster oven. The next day called for some serious hiking for my
Gymnastics and Silks What a handsome waiter, we remarked, and he re- wife and me. The Wildlife Loop was the trail of choice. It
Fencing Princess Dance and more age 2-1/2 to adults
Dance Acting Musical Theater Voice Choreography
GUIDE
to School-Year
Activities and Programs
Tennis Academy, led by tennis expert Dean cial challenges in their every day lives. A teachers on hand to offer homework help
AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAMS Stravri, have joined our athletics team al- wide range of strategies are implemented in English and Hebrew, and have special
lowing young sports lovers to learn from to help participants learn, practice and activities and monthly mitzvah projects.
two of the best coaches in Bergen County. acquire skills that will help them become If you register your child for afterschool
After-School Programs at Kaplen more successful in social settings. Please classes you can save $25 and well escort
JCC on the Palisades Cassie Romano and Eileen Stauber see our ad on page 21. them to class! Its a terrific place for your
Taub Campus Friendship Solutions LLC child to unwind with lots of games and
411 E. Clinton Avenue 141 Main Street, second floor Kids Club books, open playtime in our fabulous gym
Tenafly, NJ 07670 Hackensack, NJ 07601 Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
and playground, and a fun lounge to relax
201-569-7900 201-390-8017 Taub Campus
in with friends. A great way to end the day!
www.jccotp.org/children Website: under construction 411 E. Clinton Avenue
Tenafly, NJ 07670 Save big with our new bundle package:
The JCC offers many after school programs Friendship Solutions LLC is an after-school save 10% when you register for Kids Club,
201-408-1467
and classes for children ages 2 through social skills program that works with stu- www.jccotp.org/Kids-club vacation programs, and summer camps.
high school including art, science, cook- dents and teens between the ages of 4-18. Grades K through 6 Kids Club Hours: September to June, Mon-
ing, swim, sports, gymnastics, dance, The programs are designed to work with Thur and seasonal Fridays, after school to
drama, music and more. Sports lovers wide range of students including those After-school pick-up service and child care 6 p.m. Contact Leron Bensoussan at 201-
will be happy to know that CMEK, led by who have been diagnosed with an autism Program. We provide doorto-door trans- 408-1467 or LBensoussan@jccotp.org.
basketball expert Chad Mekles, and Stavri spectrum disorder, Aspergers, ADD, ADHD portation from most schools to the JCC,
and generally those who encounter so- get children settled with a snack, have
TBS temp
TBS Religious School
Religious School TBSNursery
TBS Nursery School
School
Link between
Link between
Dynamic
earlychildhood
early childhood and Baby
Baby Steps
Steps Mommy and
Reform
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and school
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religious School Learning as we
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Program
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identities with
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songswith
Call Education Director
845.638.0770 with
tbsreligiou
cultivating
cultivating family
family pride
pride Rabbi
Rabbi Leiken
Leiken and
and Cantor
Cantor Anna
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View photos of ou
Temple Beth Shol
Call
Call Education
EducationDirector, Marilyn
Director, Fellows
Marilyn at at
Fellows Call
CallNursery
NurserySchool
School Director, LoriLori
Director, Scott at at
Scott
845.638.0770 tbsreligiousschool@gmail.com
845.638.0770 tbsreligiousschool@gmail.com 845.638.0830 nurseryschooltbs@gmail.com
845.638.0830 nurseryschooltbs@gmail.com
temple
templ
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photos of
of our
our Nursery and Religious
Nursery and Religiousschools
schoolsat
attbsrockland.com
tbsrockland.org
Temple Beth
Temple Sholom
Beth 228
Sholom 228New
NewHempstead Road New
Hempstead Road New City,
City, New
New York
York 10956
10956
RE
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OU
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Register Now
Regis Englewood, NJ 07631
201-308-3042
www.ganhenel.com
self-esteem and nurtures inherent curios-
ity. Jewish identity is enhanced through
celebration of Shabbat and the holidays.
PR THDA
I R
B AR T Y Fall Classes 6 weeks to 6 years
Please see our ad on page 24.
P Y Gan Henel ELC is a boutique and modern
DA
TO Begin September 11th Early Learning center located on the bor- Temple Emanuel of the Pascack
der of Tenafly and Englewood. We pride Valley Early Childhood Program
NEW ONLINE REGISTRATION - PAYMENT PLAN AVAILABLE ourselves on our top quality childcare and (ECP)
programming as well as our large array 87 Overlook Drive
401 Market Street - Nanuet, NY of Caregiver & Me classes and Gan Henel Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677
(845) 623-2553 www.Tumble-Beegymnastics.com Outdoorsa 10-week summer camp with 201-391-8329
a twist! Please see our ad on page 29. Email: cheryl@tepv.org
Director: Debbie Wasserman
The Leonard & Syril Rubin ECP Admin: Cheryl Mazen
Nursery School www.tepv.org
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades Ages: 24
Taub Campus
411 E. Clinton Avenue Pre-school for children ages 2-4 as well as,
Tenafly, NJ 07670 after-school enrichment programs. New
201-408-1436 and exciting things are happening. Each
www.jccotp.org/nursery-school child feels special at our ECP. Our love of
Judaism shines through in all we do. Please
We offer a warm, child-centered preschool see our ad on page 22.
At Glen Rock Jewish Center, for ages 3 month-kindergarten. Our school
follows a progressive curriculum rooted in The Nursery School
___ OK W. CHANGE
AOC-22
ff Lake, NJGUIDE
years old that have language disorders,
emotional challenges (including selective
mutism), learning disabilities, attention
Young Family Memb
to School-Year Activities and Programs
son, PhD, Director at 201-408-1497 email
TN@jccotp.org or visit jccotp.org/tn. PRESCHOOL ALTERNATIVES
little friends, both outdoors and indoors.
Make your childs summer an adventure
in play and learning rolled into one. Please
T
t
n
deficits, ADHD, and high-functioning au-
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack see our ad on page 22. a
tism (including PDD and Aspergers Syn- Valley Religious School Temple Emanuel of the Pascack f
drome). The program is a parent-child CHAI Program Valley Vacation Station @ECP (Early Temple Emanuel of the Pascack c
-mail
our students to participate successfully, as ECP Admin: Cheryl Mazen
Marjorie Shore www.tepv.org www.tepv.org 8
they ready themselves to mainstream in
www.tepv.org Infants through 12 months & Parents Pro- W
settings at school, home, and in the larger This is a separate independent program for 2
Religious School
community. Students may enter the pro- Our CHAI Program enables us to meet ages 2 to 5 during school breaks. The kids gram: Come to our FREE drop in Playgroup.
Its a time to enjoy your baby, connect with E
gram anytime during the school year with the learning and social needs of all our enjoy a wide range of fun activities. Days are D
other moms, and discuss relevant topics.
m,
directors approval. Call Lois Mendelson, students. Our three specialized teachers themed during the breaks to add to the ex- E
PhD at 201-408-1498 or tn@jccotp.org. work with our students in small classes citement. Please see our ad on page 22. Fridays, twice monthly, 9:15 to 10:30 a.m.
Please see our ad on page 22 w
or one-on-one. Students may also receive
Social Skills Group Temple Emanuel of the Pascack T
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades
additional support for the students Bar/ Temple Emanuel of the Pascack
Bat Mitzvah preparations. This service is Valley Summer Fun Camp @ ECP Valley Parenting Center P
411 E. Clinton Avenue (Early Childhood Program) i
not only available to members of our own Come Play with Me
r at
Tenafly, NJ 07670 87 Overlook Drive s
congregation, but also to members of the 87 Overlook Drive
201-408-1448 Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677 W
Adult Education
Ages 4 to 6 community who are not affiliated with our Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677
congregation. The quality of education and 201-391-8329 201-391-8329 s
www.jccotp.org Email: cheryl@tepv.org s
the results obtained have been outstand- Email: cheryl@tepv.org
This program for 46 year old verbal chil- Director: Debbie Wasserman a
Membership
ing. The CHAI program is a beneficiary of a Director: Debbie Wasserman
dren is designed to help with socialization, grant from the Jewish Federation of North- ECP Admin: Cheryl Mazen ECP Admin: Cheryl Mazen s
communication, and self-regulation. Social ern New Jersey. Registration is required. www.tepv.org www.tepv.org a
skills are taught in a small group setting by Please see our ad on page 22. Fun during the summer vacation for chil- Toddlers 12 months through 18 months
Therapeutic Nursery school staff on Tues-
T
dren ages 2 to 5 years old. Special pro- & Parents Program
days, 3:454:45 p.m. Contact Lois Mendel- grams to keep cool and have fun with their
V
L
uestions. Sisterhood
8
W
d Program
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley Woodcliff Lake, NJ
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley Woodcliff Lake, NJ
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley Woodcliff Lake, NJ
Keruv-Reaching Ou
SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER:
n
Early Childhood Program
We Weinvite
inviteyou
you to callororE-mail
to call E-mail Early Childhood Program $365 a year tuition
Young
Religious Family
School Membership
Young Family Membership
677
Richard Tannenbaum,
We invite Tannenbaum,
Richard you to call or E-mail
ourRichard
Executive Director at
Tannenbaum, Religious School $1 a day for K & 1st grades!
our Executive Director at Adult Education
to Interfaith Familie
Early Childhood
Early Childhood Program
Education Program
201-391-0801 or
our Executive
201-391-0801 Director at
execdir@tepv.org with anyor questions. Adult
Sisterhood
201-391-0801 or Working Parent Friendly
We invite you toexecdir@tepv.org
call or E-mail
execdir@tepv.org with any questions. MensSisterhood
Creative, experiential curriculum
Temple Emanuel of the
with
Richard Tannenbaum,
Pascack
any questions.
87 Overlook Drive
Valley Religious
Club School
Religious School Computer lab Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley Keruv-Reaching Out
Mens Club Family programming
Woodcliff Lake,
our Executive Director NJ 07677
at Adult Education
to Interfaith Families
Temple
tel: Emanuel
87 201-391-0801
Overlook Drive Adult Education Out
Keruv-Reaching Social events/holiday celebrations
Creating Commun
201-391-0801 orLake, NJ 07677
www.tepv.org
Woodcliff Sisterhood
Creating Community
Warm, nurturing environment Dedicated faculty
of the tel:
Pascack Valley to Interfaith Families
Inspiring Commitment
execdir@tepv.org with any questions.
201-391-0801
87 Overlook Drive Sisterhood
Mens Club
Creating Community
www.tepv.org
Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677 Inspiring Commitment Synagogue membership not required.
Reaching
ClubOut to 10/31/14
Inspiring Commitm
TempleTEPVEmanuel
Ad.indd 1 oftel:
the201-391-0801
Pascack Valley Mens 2:01 PM Marcia Kagedan, Educational Director
Interfaith Families 201-262-7733 edudirector@jccparamus.org
87 Overlookwww.tepv.org
Drive
Keruv-Reaching Out
Woodcliff Lake,
TEPV Ad.indd 1
NJ 07677 10/31/14 2:01 PM
JCC of Paramus/Congregation Beth Tikvah
NEW FORMAT to our
& NEW TIMES for Interfaith Families
High Holiday Services
g Out
tel: 201-391-0801
for adults, families, children, and teens! Inquire NOW! 304 East Midland Avenue, Paramus www.jccparamus.org
www.tepv.org Creating Community
Inspiring Commitment
milies
22 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN SEPTEMBER 2017
AOC-23
2017
READERS
CHOICE
NURSERY SCHOOL
Full-Day (7:30am-6pm)
Programs With Before & After Care Options
Programs For Mommy & Me (Toddler Time)
Fully-Equipped Classrooms,
Indoor Play Space & Outdoor Playground
Curriculum Developed by Early Child Educators
Excellent Teacher-To-Child Ratios
Day & Evening Tours Available
Pottery Painting Mosaics No Membership Required
Black Light & Canvas Painting Clay Glass Jewelry
Contact Director of Education:
Birthday Parties Rabbi Beth Kramer-Mazer
Register Now for Fall E-mail: educator@tbenv.org
201.768.2195
ACCREDITED FOR
Afternoon Programs QUALITY EDUCATION
Mommy & Me
No Sitting Fee Lots of Free Parking Completely Accessible FLEXIBLE RELIGIOUS SCHOOL
WALK-INS WELCOME
Innovative Jewish Learning & Living
MEETS ONCE A WEEK!
Personalized learning model for grades 3-6
260 Grand Ave. Choose from individual, family and community activities
Englewood, NJ Individualized teacher mentoring to guide your learning
201.541.5559 ASK ABOUT OUR AWESOME K-2 PROGRAMS, TOO!
sunshinepotterynj
www.tbenv.org 221 Schraalenburgh Rd., Closter, NJ 07624
INCLUSION by DESIGN
www.sinaischools.org/js 201-833-1134
Fall 17
Registration
Is Now Open
THINK Schechter Westchester
For All
THE ATER
WORKSHOPS OPEN
at
BLACK BOX STUDIOS HOUSES
Ages 5 to Adult Lower School (K-5)
NOVEMBER 12, 2017
30 Dellwood Road
White Plains, NY | 914.948.3111
TEMPLE EMETH
Wednesday, Sept. 3 and Thursday Sept. 4 from 10 a.m. fessional level performing arts classes and ensemble
identity and attachment to ones religion,
to 7 p.m. For on-going registration contact 201-503-8326
or education@bergenpac.org. Visit www.bergenpac.
groups and productions in theater, dance, and music
for students of all ages. The school also offers beyond
culture and roots is during adolescent time,
Back-to-School Time!
facebook.com/jewishstandard org/education for schedules.
The Education program at bergenPAC features a se-
bergenPAC, a school Partnership Program with school
districts throughout the area.
the period of age 13 to 17
32 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN SEPTEMBER 2014
-- Preeminent Jewish Sociologist Steven M. Cohen
BEGINS AT BEGINS AT
OJC RELIGIOUS SCHOOL
OJC RELIGIOUS SCHOOL
Affordable Tuition
Affordable Tuition Midweek Classes Only
Midweek Classes Only Kindergarten through High School
Located on the Bergen/Rockland Border
Kindergarten through High School
CALL
Located on the Bergen/Rockland FOR A TOUR: 845-359-5920 ext. 110
Border
Sandy Borowsky, MS.Ed - Education Director
CALL FOR A TOUR: 845-359-5920 ext. 110
ORANGETOWN JEWISH
OJC is the plaCe tO be!CENTER
Sandy Borowsky, MS.Ed - Education Director
Rabbi Craig Scheff Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Rabbi Ami Hersh
Affordable Tuition
8 Independence Avenue Orangeburg, NY 10962 www.theojc.org
ORANGETOWN JEWISH
ORANGETOWN JEWISH CENTER CENTER
Rabbi Craig Scheff Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Rabbi Ami Hersh
Rabbi8 Independence
Craig ScheffAvenue Rabbi Paula Mack
Orangeburg, Drill
NY 10962 Rabbi Ami Hersh
www.theojc.org
An Egalitarian Conservative
8 Independence Avenue Congregation serving Rockland
Orangeburg, NY 10962 and Bergen Counties
www.theojc.org
An Egalitarian Conservative Congregation serving Rockland and Bergen Counties
ABOUT OUR CHILDREN SEPTEMBER 2017 31
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1 2
3 4
5 6
1. It was a fun-filled summer for the campers and the teenagers from across the region put on three
staff attending Camp Regesh, which this year moved performances on the bergenPAC stage this summer.
into new grounds in Old Tappan. 5. Daniel Raykher, son of Gregory and Daphna
2. The final chinuch (learning) activity at Camp Raykher, longtime prominent donors of Bris Avrohom,
Moshava Bair in Paramus was helped along by Camp Hillside, recently celebrated his bar mitzvah. He
Moshava IO, which lent a 32-inch x 32-inch map of decided to use his bar mitzvah money to purchase
the Old City of Jerusalem along with 40,000 pieces of tefillin for the Israeli soldiers at the army base near
Legos for a major construction project. Gan Yavne. From left, Rabbi Mordechai Kanelsky,
executive director, Bris Avrohom, Daniel Raykher and
3. Big Idea, one of the many specialty camps at Gregory Raykher.
Neil Klatskin Day Camps at the Kaplen JCC on the
Palisades helped young, tech-minded campers create 6. Summer camp is all about being outside and
having fun at the Early Childhood Program (ECP) at
cool projects and have summer fun at the same time.
Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley. The children
4. The Performing Arts School at bergenPAC experienced a petting zoo right in their own backyard
presented its eighth summer musical, West Side Story, during summer camp. Boy, did the kids love the
to its biggest audience yet. More than 80 talented animals.
32 ABOUT OUR CHILDREN SEPTEMBER, 2017
AOC-33
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OurChildren
About
TopChoices S E P T E M B E R 2 0 17
CO M P I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T
Kid Crush-Proof
and Stylish Specs Shopkins Live! Shop It Up!
Unbreakable
childrens eye-
Comes to bergenPAC
glasses? You The #1 kids toy in North
can grab them America is live and on stage in
by the handle, Shopkins Live! Shop It Up! at
rip them off bergenPAC. The Shoppies make
your face, fling their theatrical debut in an origi-
them across nal new live show featuring musi-
the room, and cal performances by Jessicake,
nothings going Bubbleisha, Peppa-Mint,
to happen, said Rainbow Kate, Cocolette, Polli
optometric physi- Polish and more. The fun and
cian Dr. Steven D. fashionista Shoppies are joined
Starkman, owner by the Shopkins the grocery
Czins Optical. Dr. store-themed mini collectable
Starkman is not toys - Apple Blossom, Strawberry
recommending this, but simply describing the near-indestructibility of the Nanovista Kiss, Lippy Lips, Kooky Cookie,
brand of eyeglasses he carries at the Teaneck store. The Nanovista frames are made Poppy Corn, Slick Breadstick and
with a silicone hinge that can convert to sports goggles and take a child from the Shady Diva. An ensemble cast of
classroom to the ball field. Dr. Starkman carries several other hi-tech and kid-friendly multi-talented performers brings the show to life on stage through urban style music,
frames, including the lightweight iGreen frames, which come in an array of customiz- song and dance. Thursday, September 28, 6:30 p.m. bergenPAC, 30 N. Van Brunt
able colors, and the EasyTwist metal frames, which can be twisted like a pretzel but St., Englewood, 201-227-1030, www.bergenpac.org.
pops back into shape. Czin Optical, 489 Cedar Lane, Teaneck. 201-836-9199.
OurChildren
About
Simchas
Books That Bolster Social Skills
A trio of books by Rifka Schonfeld, director of S.O.S,
Strategies for Optimum Success, helps teach social
skills to children and teenagers. Social Skills Around
the Clock is a graphic depiction organized by two-
page spreads that portrays a before and after sce-
nario of acquiring social skills. The message is clear.
Social Success Dynamics 2 a sequel for teens
B'nai Mitzvah and adults to Ms. Schonfelds earlier Social Success
Dynamics is a useful and comprehensive workbook
ALEXANDER MCGUIRE for professionals and parents, which covers areas
Alexander McGuire, son of Sarah Monchar and James McGuire and brother of Jacob and from empathy, anxiety, organization and friendship
Daniella McGuire, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on Shabbat, August 19, at Congregation and conversation. Ms. Schonfeld has served the Jew-
Beth Sholom in Teaneck. ish community for more than 30 years as an educator
and social skills specialist.
DANIELLA MCGUIRE
Daniella McGuire, daughter of Sarah Monchar and James McGuire and sister of Jacob and
Alexander McGuire, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on Tuesday, August 22, rosh chodesh
Elul, at Congregation Beth Sholom in Teaneck. Friendship Solutions Now Forming Groups
Friendship Solutions, a new after-school social skills
5K for Teaneck Volunteer Ambulance Corps program for students in Hackensack, will launch the
week of September 18 and will continue forming groups
and Young Israel of Teaneck until mid-October. The brainchild of Eileen Stauber and
Cassie Romano, both experienced board certified be-
havior analysts with Bergen County Special Services,
Teaneck Volunteer Ambulance students 4 to 18 years old who, because of varying rea-
Corps (TVAC) and Young Israel of sons, have social skills deficits, will learn social skills
Teaneck (YIOT) are joining together in a fun and supportive environment, said Ms. Stauber.
for YIOTs 2nd Annual 5K Run/Walk, These students will increase their social skills and im-
which promises to be a great com- prove the quality of their lives. For more information: Friendship Solutions, 141 Main St.
munity event. Second Floor, Hackensack. 201-390-8017, friendshipsolutionsllc@gmail.com
On Sunday, Sept. 10, from 9 to
11 a.m., you can walk or run our 5K
through the Country Club section
of Teaneck. All are welcome to join,
from experienced competitive run-
ners, to those who simply want to
walk.
PARTY
There will also be a Family Run for and family can donate money through
children. No running experience is need- your personal fundraising page to sup-
ed. The event will support two commu- port you and this event.
nity organizations: Teaneck Volunteer To register, www.teaneckambulance.
Ambulance Corps and The Young Israel org, click on Donate and follow links to
of Teaneck. Join the race. Join in the fun- the 5K page.
draising before the race begins. Friends
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about public issues. Not reserved with DR. SETH GOPIN
for totalitarian regimes of the past,
propaganda affects ideology today.
We will look at examples of how, OCT 19
over time, propaganda has driven
Keep Learning opinion and impacted policy.
AM When Will the Civil
War Be Over? with
Professor ROBERT CAREY
Top professors and experts For This We Left Egypt? PM The Great German
present on a diverse array Original Saturday Night Live writer Romantics with Music Talks
of topics. JCC University and five time Emmy Award winner ELAD KABILIO
offers the opportunity ALAN ZWEIBEL will take us on a
to rekindle previous journey through the last 40 years
of his prolific comedy writing NOV 2
passions, ignite new
career including his work on SNL, AM Memory and Aging
interests, meet new people
Curb Your Enthusiasm and Billy with DR. MICHAL BEERI
and stay involved in the Crystals 700 Sundays. He will also PM The Dinner Party by Artist
developments that shape talk about his new book, a parody Judy Chicago with Professor
todays world. of the Passover Haggadah. THOMAS GERMANO
THURSDAYS Sept 14 & 28, Oct 19, Nov 2, 10:30 am2 pm 4 THURSDAYS $115/$145, 1 THURSDAY $35/$42
Register at JCCOTP.ORG/ADULT-JCC-UNIVERSITY or call Kathy at 201.408.1454
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they plastered posters across the city take care of it, he said. Those who SAVE THE DATES SEPTEMBER 2017
urging residents not to vote for Jewish opposed the group tended not to live in
candidates. the Third Ward. ROSH HASHANAH SERVICES
In response, Jews started organizing Yet the mostly Jewish group, which Wednesday, September 20, 7:15 pm
to defend themselves. Across the coun- also had a few Irish and Italian members, Thursday, September 21 9:00 am
try, Jews would fight Nazis on an ad hoc became a powerful tool to fight Hitler Tashlich following services 1:30 pm
basis. But in Newark, a more organized sympathizers. Friday, September 22 9:00 am
group emerged: the Minutemen. Jewish The Minutemen were ready for them.
mobster Meyer Lansky had started the The Minutemen had clubs and stink YOM KIPPUR SERVICES
group in New York, but the Minutemen bombs, and they attacked the partici- Kol Nidre: Friday, September 29 6:15 pm
were shut down there by the authorities pants of the event, Grover said of one Saturday, September 30 9:00 am
KEYSTONE-FRANCE/GAMMA-KEYSTONE VIA GETTY IMAGES
after some Jews reported them, fear- Nazi mass demonstration in 1933. Police Mincha 5:00 pm Neilah 6:00 pm
ing the use of violence would lead to an came, and there were some arrests, and Break-the-Fast 7:15 pm
increase in anti-Semitism. people said later that the Jews, the Min-
SUKKOT
In Newark, however, the Minutemen utemen, had no right to attack a peaceful
Erev Sukkot: Wednesday, October 4
took hold, aided by another Jewish gang- gathering in a Newark hall.
ster, Abner Longy Zwillman, and led The Minutemen boosted Jewish SHEMINI ATZERET
by former professional boxer Nat Arno. morale. Thursday, October 12 7:30 am (Yizkor)
On Oct. 18, 1933, JTA reported on a typi- Physical prowess as exhibited against
cal clash, outside a Nazi meeting at a Ger- the Newark Nazis, Irvington Nazis, was a SIMCHAT TORAH
man auditorium: The meeting, at the matter of pride for the Eastern European Thursday, October 12 7:30 pm
Schwabenhalle, under the auspices of Jews who came because of the pogroms Come dance with us!
the Friends of the New Germany was in Russia in the 1880s, Grover said. We would love to have you join us but tickets are required.
the target for stones and stench bombs They took pride in it because they saw For more information please call Cathy
thrown by the anti-Nazis in the crowd of the newsreels coming from Germany in the office on (201) 391-4620
about one thousand who waited outside showing how the Jews in Germany were
the hall. being treated and all the different anti-
The following May, JTA reported on Jewish legislation.
Temple Beth Sholom of Pascack Valley
a melee in Irvington: A Nazi meeting Ultimately, Grover said, the group 32 Park Avenue Park Ridge, NJ
terminated in fisticuffs, a miniature riot, served its purpose: deterring Nazis from
arrests and injury to many persons. organizing in Newark.
Though the Minutemen were cheered Just the thought of having Minute-
and accepted by the majority of the New- men present at any of their meetings
Frame IT
ark Jewish population, Grover said, not discouraged a lot of the Nazis from
everyone was enthusiastic. holding public meetings, he said.
Some Jews, especially those affiliated They were successful because a lot
with Reform synagogues, felt it gave less propaganda was brought out by
Jews a bad name to be engaged in brawl- the Nazis because of fear of the Min-
ing, and they felt the government would utemen. JTA WIRE SERVICE
CUSTOM
FRAMING
congregation was beginning its rab-
OVER 3000 FRAMES
New Rabbis
FROM PAGE 7
binic transition showed that it was
almost 50-50 in terms of how peo-
TO CHOOSE FROM
said. Once she learned that she could ple regarded themselves some as Diplomas Posters Oil Paintings
indeed become a rabbi, and that the
academy accepted older students
Reform, some as Conservative. We do
our own mix and it works for all of us.
Shadow Boxes Jerseys
embarking on a new career, she never Her goal this year is to continue Needlework Artwork
looked back. serving in all the ways that I do,
While she would like to run a con- including helping bnai mitzvah stu-
Rush Service Available
gregation someday, Im happy being
an assistant rabbi, she said. I would
dents with their speeches, but with
a greater focus on the teen popula-
All work done on premises
rather be in a large congregation, to tion, bringing them some awareness Owner Gail Stussi-Lettera
deal with the full range of ages and do of options and issues.
creative programming. She enjoyed I want them to know there are www.FrameitFairLawn.com
her experience in Virginia, working options in life. They dont have to
with an 80-family congregation six
times a year, but that kind of setting
go to the best college. They need to
make a good decision for themselves, $10 OFF
is not her ideal. It was a phenomenal
experience, she said. We moved for-
one that will be emotionally helpful.
She pointed out that last year, the
CUSTOM FRAMING
ward, but I couldnt do creative proj- Jewish Federation of Northern New Jer- of $75 or more
Please present coupon at time of order. One offer per customer.
ects without a critical mass. sey ran a program for teens on how to
Not to be combined with any other offer. Exp. 10/28/17
Beth Rishon, unaffiliated, lib- respond to Israel-related matters on cam-
eral, and independent, is a nice pus. We sent a few teens, she said. If I 34-06 BROADWAY, FAIR LAWN (201) 797-1333
blend of people with different back- know its coming up, I will urge all teens
grounds, Rabbi Ruderman said. She to go. Knowing how to respond will keep
noted that the survey taken when the them emotionally secure and safe.
D
I did without them. I put my earbuds it cold. And the part that he most wants to get
in my ears, put the leashes on my dogs, across, it seems, the part that he finds it hard- o what is right and good in and repeated it, it becomes something
stow their treats in my pockets, and head out to est to explain, is the part that Jews play in this the sight of Adonai, that it he or she finds acceptable to repeat.
walk and to listen. ideology, and also the part that Jews played in may go well with you. For Trump, anti-Semitic behavior and
Theres a wealth of podcasts available, all of his redemption. That statement is statements are acceptable to repeat. To
them free. (Although its always good to support You have to understand, he says, that Jews repeated, in one form or another, those who excuse Trump by saying he
the ones you love financially, its not at all nec- are central to the white supremacists world- throughout the Book of Deuteronomy, is just pandering to his racist and anti-
essary.) Some tell stories, some explore science view. They believe that Jews run the world, including three times in last weeks Semitic base, but that he himself is not
or history or biography or economics. And and that belief is central to everything else, parashah, Reih, and in the very last anti-Semitic, the record of just the last
some, of course, in this extraordinarily politi- is connected to everything else, in ways verse of this weeks parashah, Shoftim. nine months screams otherwise.
cal time, look at politics. that are not logical. There is no clear way to In every way that counts, Do what is ITEM: From his first day in office
The New York Times has a daily podcast, explain it, he says, because he doesnt really right and good in the sight of Adonai is on January 20 until he spoke to Con-
released at about 6 each weekday morning, understand it himself. He just knows it. We Judaisms prime directive. It is the way gress on February 28, Trump could
logically if unexcitingly called the Daily. Its a dismiss it at our peril. we must live our lives. not bring himself to address a wave of
not-quite-half-hour in-depth look at something And then there is the story of how he left In my last column, I argued that con- anti-Semitism that the ADL called the
in the news, created by the reporter and excel- his childhood. It really is a complicated story, tinuing to support President Trump worst since the 1930s. So blatant was
lent interviewer Michael Barbaro. because layered under the political is the deeply, is a communal sin for which we must this constant dance around condemn-
The Daily has been out for maybe six months painfully personal. In order to break with his repent in the season of repentance that ing anti-Semitism that it made head-
or so, and its been refined and polished and ideology, Derek had to break with his family; got under way on Tuesday with the start lines around the world.
evolved until now it can be counted on to offer his relationship with them now is distant, for- of the month of Elul. It was my intention Even Trumps own vice president,
an unusual, and often unusually personal and mal, and sad. It makes the drama of his break, to go on to other areas we Mike Pence, recognized
therefore unusually moving, take on something and his rebuilding his life in ways he could not need to consider as Rosh the need to do some-
you otherwise might or might not have heard have imagined, even more potent; some people Hashanah and Yom Kip- thing dramatic. In mid-
about. Its provided unforgettable insights not who cannot imagine being in or leaving the far- pur come ever closer February, he traveled to
always favorable, because people reveal them- right racist world maybe can imagine betraying (and, God willing, I will St. Louis to help clean up
selves, and sometimes thats good, and some- their families or being betrayed by them, and do so over the next few a Jewish cemetery that
times its not into a coal miner who has black then having to live without them. columns). had been badly damaged
lung but said that if he had the choice hed do Derek said that he was invited to Shabbat Then, however, the by anti-Semitic vandals.
it all over again; a woman who lives in Ken- dinners by another young man at college, an events in Charlottesville Even then, with Pence
tucky, has a medical condition, voted for Don- observant Jew who enjoyed bringing diverse and their aftermath hap- grabbing the headlines,
ald Trump, is on Obamacare, and now worries; people together and showing them the beauty pened, and are continu- Shammai Trump would make no
and Chelsea Manning, who came across not as of Shabbat. Slowly, slowly, he was made to ing to happen around the Engelmayer public comment until his
a selfless truth teller but as a self-obsessed, con- realize exactly how untrue everything hed nation. While many voices speech to Congress eight
fused, not particularly admirable person. believed really was. It was not the first step in were raised against the days later.
Tuesday mornings Daily was an interview his change if he had not made many steps president within the Jewish community, ITEM: On International Holocaust
with Derek Black, the son of one of the lead- already, he would not have been at all welcome some continued to support him, includ- Remembrance Day, Trump could not
ing white supremacist families in the country, at that table, and he would not have been able ing from among Israels leadership. bring himself to mention the word Jew
whose father started and runs the foul white to bring himself to sit at it anyway. But it was One in particular stands out. Economy in his statement marking the day. It is
supremacist website called Stormfront. He is through the people he met there, the discus- and Industry Minister Eli Cohen of the with a heavy heart and somber mind,
the godson of David Duke, he was brought up sions that followed, that he was able to see past Kulanu faction said, Efforts to portray his statement said, that we remember
in the movement, and until he first went off to the hatred of his childhood to the love in the Trump as anti-Semitic are pathetic, and honor the victims, survivors, and
college, about a decade ago, Derek knew no real outside world. especially since Trump is one of the heroes of the Holocaust, but the state-
truths other than the lies with which he had Derek Black now is in graduate school. On most sympathetic [presidents ever] ment never mentioned that Six Million
been brought up. the Daily, he said that hed hoped to fade into toward Israel. Jews were the prime victims, survivors,
This is not the first time Ive heard about obscurity, to have a regular life, but he feels The Talmud has something else to and heroes of the Shoah.
Derek, and it probably isnt the first time compelled to speak out now because he feels say. In the Babylonian Talmud trac- Make no mistake. This was deliber-
youve heard of him either, but no matter in part responsible for the hatred thats been tate Sota 22a, we are told that once a ate. Trumps statement was drafted by
how strong an impression stories about him newly unleashed but had festered underground person has committed a transgression the State Departments Holocaust issues
have made, the effect of hearing his voice where we didnt see it. We didnt even smell it.
directly in your ears, early in the morning, But it was there, and now its been set free. Shammai Engelmayer is rabbi of Temple Israel Community Center | Congregation
is more powerful still. We should pay attention to Derek Black. JP Heichal Yisrael in Cliffside Park and Temple Beth El of North Bergen.
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I
go to the monument honoring the heroes of the
Warsaw Ghetto. Ever since the fall of Commu- t is customary to say to some- I wondered how they could almost
nism in 1989, every president and vice president one commemorating a yahrzeit cheerfully take on and perform this
of the United States who visited Poland went to May the deceaseds neshama onerous and difficult task, and with-
the ghetto to pay tribute, but Trump could not have an aliyah may their out professional schooling no less.
make the time to do so himself. (His daughter did soul merit a spiritual elevation as a As I grew a bit older I understood
. find the time to go, although the White House result of your prayers and mitzvot. my mothers unstated message: know
sought to keep her visit private, so no media While I say that too, I confess I dont what youre capable of, rise to the
were invited along.) really believe it. As I once told a good occasion (which sometimes means
ITEM: After first denying it, Trump finally friend on a parents yahrzeit, after fol- stretching beyond your comfort
- admitted to owning a copy of Adolf Hitlers book lowing that custom, his father really zone), and, most critically, do what
t of speeches, a book Hitler titled My New Order. earned his souls elevation on his own you have to do.
t (Trump originally said it was Mein Kampf, which merit, by the stellar way he lived his Sometimes, however, my par-
is bad enough.) This is a book his former wife Ivana life dedicated to serving (and loving) ents understood they had to hit us
Trump told a Vanity Fair reporter that Trump kept his family, community, people, and over the head a bit. Once, my older
- by his bed and read from on many nights. She said God. Nothing we do can top that. brother, now a well-known scholar
this in 1990 27 years ago, long before he needed So when I recite kaddish, lead ser- but then a budding one, wanted to
f to pander to anyone on the right; long before he vices, learn Torah, or chant the hafto- write an article for the YU newspa-
ever heard of Steve Bannon. rah on my parents yahrzeits, its not per on Isaac Bashevis Singer, whose
Trump defended owning the book by saying to aid their souls; its to nourish mine. recent books in English translation
- it was given to him by a Jewish friend in the film Its a demonstration of my continu- had received rave reviews. Lawrence
- industry, as if that made it okay. The friend, how- ing love of and respect for them and wanted to make the article personal
ever, was not Jewish, and said as much to report- their (and my) traditions, an oppor- and mentioned to my father that he
, ers who asked him to confirm giving the book to tunity to reflect on the values they Gertrude and Simon Kaplan wished he could meet Singer to dis-
Trump. imparted to me, my siblings, and our cuss his books and ask some ques-
- ITEM: Why did Trump think his friend was children, and to remember some of the many lessons they tions. So call him and ask for a meeting, my father said.
- Jewish? It was because the friend was Martin taught us. And thats what I did recently on my fathers yah- Lawrence: Me? Who am I to call such a famous author and
Davis, head of Paramount Pictures and its par- rzeit (and am doing on their wedding anniversary, when this why should he meet with me? My father: Hes listed in the
ent Gulf + Western, and, as the White Suprema- column is appearing). white pages. (Remember them?) Pick up the phone and
t cist world will tell you, the Jews control the film Let me share with you some of those memories. invite him to have a glass of tea with you in a nearby cafeteria.
industry and the media. It follows that some- Neither of my parents believed in teaching (Remember them?) And so my brother did, and
. one heading a media conglomerate must be by preaching. Rather, they usually taught and thats how he shared a glass of tea with I.B. Singer
Jewish. inspired by action and deed. They epitomized and wrote a fine essay.
, ITEM: Trump is the man who went before the the maxim The mediocre teacher tells, the good My example of direct parental instruction was
Republican Jewish Coalition in December and teacher explains, the superior teacher demon- with my mother. I had returned from a program
almost immediately invoked a most egregious anti- strates, the great teacher inspires. run by Yavneh, the 1960s and 70s organiza-
t Semitic stereotype as if it was an established fact Here are two examples. tion of Orthodox college students, where Rabbi
that Jews enjoyed hearing: Im a negotiator like A good friend once told me that he personally Dr. Irving Yitz Greenberg was the featured
t you folks, we are negotiators. Is there anybody that met Rav Ahron Kotler zl, the renowned founder speaker. (As my kids eyes glaze over at the men-
t doesnt renegotiate deals in this room? This room of Beth Medrash Govoha (a/k/a Lakewood). He tion of Yavneh, I direct you to the definitive book
w negotiates them perhaps more than any other was introduced when he happened to be in his Joseph C. about it, The Greening of American Orthodox
room Ive ever spoken in. fathers office in New York City, where Rav Ahron Kaplan Judaism, by my classmate and friend the late
Once a person has committed a transgression had gone to work with his father on a project. I Dr. Benny Kraut, and my review of it in the Jew-
r and repeated it, says the Talmud, it becomes was impressed, and when I told the story to my ish Week.) My mother asked if I enjoyed it, and
something he or she finds acceptable to repeat. father I asked if he ever had met Rav Ahron. superlatives dripped from my mouth.
- Trump commits anti-Semitic transgressions as My father answered that he also worked on various projects Did you tell R. Greenberg? my mother asked. My answer
a matter of routine. He is a racist generally and with Rav Ahron, and had gone to his office in Lakewood a num- mimicked that of my brother: Me? Who am I to tell R. Green-
, an anti-Semite specifically. Supporting Israel has ber of times it was quite a shlep from Far Rockaway to dis- berg that his speech was wonderful?
nothing to do with his liking Jews; it has every- cuss them personally with him. My fathers demonstration of But I was a dutiful son, at least sometimes, so the next time I
- thing to do with pandering to the religious right the importance of living to its fullest the concept of kibud cha- heard R. Greenberg speak and had a similar conversation with
y that supports Israel because it is a part of his base. chamim the deep respect owed to wise and learned people my mother, my answer was Yes. When my mother asked how
As I noted in my column two weeks ago, however, was a tad subtle for my high school self. But as I grew older I he reacted, I replied With warmth, and seemingly very pleased.
Trumps actions as president show just how half- realized I had been taught that respect included accommodat- No one, no matter how famous or important, is ever
hearted and insincere that support really is. ing the convenience and comfort of a venerable sage. A subtle unreachable or insulted by a compliment, my mother said,
This is not about politics, however. This is about yet powerful message. with a gentle pat on my cheek. And wasnt that the same lesson
Do what is right and good in the sight of Adonai, And a maternal story. My mother, together with two friends, my father taught my brother?
that it may go well with you. volunteered her time on a weekly basis to help care for a Perhaps Im wrong. Perhaps our parents souls continue to
It will not go well with any of us if we continue young Far Rockaway girl who was one of the first home dialysis be elevated after their deaths. No, not by virtue of our seem-
to stand silent. It will not go well with us if Trump patients in the United States. While that might not sound like ingly independent actions, but by virtue of their eternal role as
is not called to account for his politics of division a big deal today, considering our compact and relatively easy- our teachers and inspiration, as demonstrated by our ongoing
and hate. to-use dialysis units, back then it was a very big deal. I learned embrace and practice of the tradition they lovingly transmit-
SEE TRUMP PAGE 31 that one Friday afternoon, when my mother asked me to spell ted to us.
her for about an hour. Our actions truly are their actions.
The opinions expressed in this section are When I entered the small room, my jaw dropped to the May their neshamot have an aliyah.
those of the authors, not necessarily those floor. Every inch was crammed wall-to-wall with machines
of the newspapers editors, publishers, or and dozens of tubes filled with blood, urine, and other fluids. Joseph C. Kaplan, a Teaneck resident for more than 31 years, is
other staffers. We welcome letters to the editor. And in the midst of it all, my mother and her friends calmly a frequent contributor of essays to Jewish publications when not
Send them to jstandardletters@gmail.com. executed all the complicated and messy procedures involved. he is not practicing law in Manhattan.
T
he concept of Jewish self- his tract, Zur Judenfrage, he wrote that the encouragement thus Assimilate and imitate the
hatred first popped up in Ber- Money is the jealous God of Israel. afforded to their oppres- Gentiles, Rathenau ordered.
lin in 1930, in German philoso- The social emancipation of the Jews is sors still remain to be He did. He later withdrew
pher Theodor Lessings book the emancipation of the society from told. It is only because the essay from his collected
Der Juedische Selbsthass. Judaism. the Jews are so strong that writings. He served as for-
Lessig declared it a psychotic pathol- He borrowed money from the Bam- it is timely and expedient to eign minister in the Weimar
ogy and cited Jews who actually invited berger family and referred to father and expose and stigmatize their Republic and was assassi-
Aryans to exterminate them like vermin. son as Jew Bamberger and little Jew organization. nated in 1922.
He had converted to Christianity while he Bamberger. He wrote to Engels that the The German Jewish states- People often call Jews self-
was a student, but became Jewish again holiday resort where he stayed contained man Walter Rathenau didnt Dusty Sklar hating if they dont see eye
after reading Zionist anti-assimilationist many Jews and fleas. help his people when he to eye with them. One of
literature, and used the term to castigate In his article The Russian Loan, published Hear, O Israel my favorite jokes is about
anti-Zionist Jewish intellectuals. he was harsher: We find every tyrant in 1897. He suggested the conscious self- the Jew whos been stranded alone on a
At 28, German poet Heinrich Heine backed by a Jew. . . .The cravings of education and adaptation of the Jews to deserted island for years. One day a boat
abandoned Judaism for Lutheranism. oppressors would be hopeless, and the the expectations of the Gentiles. As the appears and a man approaches him. The
Three years earlier, in 1822, the Prussian practicability of war out of the question, first step toward self-criticism, he pro- Jew gives him a tour of the island, proudly
government had introduced a law bar- if there were not. . .a handful of Jews to posed: Look at yourselves in the mirror!.. pointing out the house that he built, the
ring Jews from academic positions. Heine ransack pockets. Nothing, unfortunately, can be done about synagogue that he built, the other syna-
claimed that the only reason he con- . real work is done by the Jews, the fact that all of you look frighteningly gogue that he built. Why does a Jew liv-
verted was because Christianity was the and can only be done by them, as they alike and that your individual vices, there- ing alone on a deserted island need two
entrance ticket to Western Civilization. monopolize the machinery of the loan- fore, are attributed to all of you. As soon as synagogues? asks the visitor. Ah, well,
In one of his satiric poems, Heine mongering mysteries by concentrating you recognize your unathletic build, your answers the Jew, that one I wouldnt be
described Judaism as the Jewish sick- their energies upon the barter trade in narrow shoulders, your clumsy feet, your caught dead in.
ness of the centuries, without a cure, a securities. There is ever one of these sloppy roundish shape, you will resolve to The term sometimes is used to discredit
gloomy sorrow passed from father to son. little Jews ready to make a little sugges- dedicate a few generations to the renewal Jews who differ in their lifestyles, interests,
Karl Marx, Heines third cousin once tion or place a little bit of a loan. The of your outward appearance two thou- or political positions from their accus-
removed, was a good deal more vehe- fortunes amassed by these loan-mongers sand years of misery cannot but leave ers. Jews who are critical of Israel may be
ment. A descendant of a long line of rab- are immense, but the wrongs and suf- marks too deep to be washed away by eau considered self-hating by those devoted
bis, he also converted to Christianity. In ferings thus entailed on the people and de cologne. to Israel. Orthodox, Conservative, and
I
n the movie Casablanca, Cap- (other than the Orthodox community directly, most
tain Renault (falsely) claimed to and those involved with Jews are happy to ignore
be shocked, shocked to find that or familiar with the large it. Only when that changes
gambling is going on in here, African Jewish organizations like does it become an issue to
though he allowed it to flourish under AIPAC, the federations, them. When synagogues
his watch for years. Americans the AJC, etc.) seem to have and JCCs are targeted with
Likewise, after Charlottesville, the understand that 100 percent acceptance of graffiti and vandalism, it
majority of the mainstream Jewish com- anti-Semitism. In part, that does not become a prob-
munity seems to be shocked, shocked to racism always is because it is much easier lem. It is somehow justified
find out that anti-Semitism is not only has existed in for most of us to hide our Daniel as an isolated incident or
alive and well but flourishing. It is hard Judaism from the rest of Shlufman the acts of an isolated crazy
to understand how that can be, since this country, still the world. Unlike African person. When Jewish peo-
like Captain Renault, the Jewish people exists now, and Americans, who are imme- ple in France and Belgium
have been seeing it for years. They just diately identified by the color of their are openly terrorized and routinely tor-
choose to look away. They also were unfortunately skin and face prejudice constantly as a mented, it is not even on the radar for
warned that the anti-Israel sentiment always may exist. result, the majority of the Jewish peo- most Jewish people in American. More-
that masked itself as anti-settlement ple are not immediately identifiable. over, when it occurs in Israel, especially
or anti-apartheid was just old-fash- Fortunately for us, for the most part we when it is in the settlements, not only is
ioned anti-Semitism cloaking itself in a his presidency. Now that the racists see can walk around and live our assimi- it not an issue, but a blame game goes
new, politically correct form. a more favorable political landscape, lated lives in any American community on to identify with the terrorists. (For
Unlike the Jewish people with anti- they are surfacing, like worms coming without having to contend with anti- example, if they [Israelis] had not taken
Semitism, African Americans under- out after a rainstorm. As a result of this Semitism. However, just because our the Palestinians land they would not
stand that racism always has existed in understanding, the African Americans skin color is the same as neo-Nazis and have been attacked.)
this country, still exists now, and unfor- have a zero tolerance for racism which white supremacists, we are fooling our- In the early- and mid-20th century,
tunately always may exist. They under- they are quick to identify (albeit some- selves if we believe that they consider us Jewish people, as victims of discrimina-
stand that even though our immediate times incorrectly) and quick to address as anything more than Other. tion, were instrumental in helping Afri-
past president was an African American, it. Anything that even smacks of racism Due to our ability to hide in plain can Americans organize many of their
that did not do away with racism. It just is called out and addressed. sight as long as anti-Semitism does lobbying organizations and succeed
drove it further underground during Paradoxically, the Jewish people not affect the mainstream Jewish in the civil rights movement. Some of
Reform Jews may feel intolerant about differences, as may hatred and you help do yourself in. On a larger scale,
religious and secular Jews in general. Its impossible for when Hitler declared war on the Jews and people through-
Trump
FROM PAGE 29
some people to embrace huge swathes of humanity sim- out the world joined him, some Jews felt they must have
ply because they share an accident of birth. brought this on themselves, they must be getting what It is time for the Jewish community to rise up with
And let us not forget the antipathy which sometimes they deserved, otherwise why would the universe (the one voice and declare, ahd kan vlo yoter up to
exists between Eastern and Western European Jews, mother) treat them so? now but no further. We will not stand silent any lon-
between Ashkenazim and Sephardim, between Zionists One moves toward the New Testaments To them that ger. We will not continue to support a racist and anti-
and anti-Zionists. Can someone be opposed to the very hath shall it be given, and from them that hath not, even Semite in the White House.
existence of Israel without being a self-hating Jew? A lead- what they hath shall be taken away. It is time for us as individuals and as a Jewish com-
ing critic of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Noam Chom- It is also a fact that some of the most vehement anti- munity to demand of Congress that it formally cen-
sky, characterizes Israel as a mercenary state and has Semites were converted Jews. Torquemada, the Grand sure Donald Trump, to let him know his racist and
earned the enmity of Israels supporters. Inquisitor of Spain, came from a family of conversos, Jews anti-Semitic leanings have no place in our society.
Some blame the European Enlightenment for making who had converted to the Catholic faith. The psychologi- Write letters. Make phone calls. The time is now
Jews feel inferior. It was believed that Judaism was primi- cal mechanism here may be identification with the aggres- because, as history teaches us, if not now, when.
tive, tribal, and devoid of ethics. When Jews were granted sor. One takes on the views of the majority and persecutes If we do not stand up to hate today, there may not
emancipation and citizenship, they often felt that they had ones fellows. On a more homely level, children who have be a tomorrow for us to wish we had.
to prove their loyalty. been beaten often grow up to beat their own children.
New York psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Arlene Hey- These days, a popular form of anti-Semitism is per-
man writes that if someone hates you, your first impulse ceived as being anti-Israel. It goes beyond legitimate
may be to feel you deserve it. A child makes sense of the opposition to Israeli government policy. Its also prevalent
WHOM TO
world and gains the illusion of control by believing he is among ultra-nationalists who declare that the Jews con- WRITE AND CALL
badly treated by his mother because he deserves it. If you trol government, media, international business and the Tell Congress its time to censure the
have a cruel mother, if youre in the hands of an angry financial world. president, and to tell him there is no place
god, you dont have a chance; but if your mother is hit- Bigotry against Jews is far from over. Lets hope that Jew- for racism in America.
ting you for your own good, then you can keep a tie with ish self-hatred is.
a good mother and take your anger at her out on your- The Honorable Robert Menendez
self: you are bad, you will try harder, your self-esteem suf- Dusty Sklar of Fort Lee is a writer whose stories and United States Senate
fers, you dont deserve better, you are lucky to get slapped articles have appeared in many places. She is the author 528 Hart Senate Office Building
around. So you add self-destructiveness to your mothers of Gods And Beasts: The Nazis and the Occult. Washington, D.C. 20510
(202) 224-4744
our African American friends and to stand up against to learn from our The Honorable Charles Schumer
discrimination once again.
This time, we need not only to fight racism, which African American Minority Leader, United States Senate
we must continue to do, but also to fight anti-Semitism. friends and to 322 Hart Senate Office Building
And we need to do it often and always. We need to
oppose subtle anti-Semitism for example, the idea stand up against Washington, D.C. 20510
that the Jews control Hollywood and overt anti-Sem- discrimination (202) 224-6542
B
ut whatever it is, what do we mean when we say never again? 1997, Sara Duker of Teaneck, murdered in a bus bombing
I dont know who How can we willingly send our taxpayer money to incentiv- in 1996, and Alisa Flatow of West Orange, murdered in a
you are and I dont ize those who want to kill anyone who is or is perceived to be bus bombing in 1995. Richard Lakin, originally from Con-
know what weve Israeli, Jewish, or American and believe in never again? If necticut, was on a bus in 2015 when he was shot in the head
been playing here. So I was cry- we cant come together as a community to support a bill that and then stabbed repeatedly in his head, face, and stomach.
ing because I dont know if I love will stop what Senator Lindsay Graham termed pay to slay, Richard advocated for Muslim-Jewish co-existence.
you anymore and I dont know then I have to echo the quote above, I dont know who you Kristine Luken, an American living in the U.K. who went
what Im going to do without are and I dont know what weve been playing here. to Israel for a visit, was stabbed to death while hiking. Alan
that. Let me paint you a picture. Since the Taylor Force Act Beer from Ohio was killed in a bus bombing in Jerusalem in
Ordinary People (1980) Martha passed in committee, I received two communications from 2003. Who can forget the bomb that exploded in the cafete-
The Taylor Force Act (S-1697) Cohen an umbrella organization that says it is the representative ria at Hebrew University in 2002, killing Janis Ruth Coulter
passed the Senate Foreign Rela- voice of the organized Jewish community. One came on and David Gritz of Massachusetts, Marla Bennet of Califor-
tions Committee on August 3 August 10, with a list of issues to support and oppose that nia, Benjamin Blutstein of Pennsylvania, and Dina Carter
with bipartisan support. The vote was 17-4, allowing the bill range from alleviating poverty to the RAISE Act, with an of North Carolina? They ranged in age from 24 to 37. And
to go to the full Senate. The four senators who voted against update on the Syrian refugee crisis and the Combat BDS 90-year-old Hannah Rogen, who was killed in the infamous
the measure are Cory Booker (D-N.J.), Tom Udall (D-N.M.), Act. No mention of the Taylor Force Act. Then on August 14, Netanya Passover seder suicide attack in 2002. Aaron Ellis,
Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), and Chris Murphy (D-Conn.). They I received a statement of condemnation of white suprema- a young man from Chicago, was killed in a shooting attack at
voted against a bill that, put in its most simple terms, would cist violence in Virginia from the same organization. Again, a bat mitzvah while he was performing in 2002. Dr. Moshe
end American taxpayer money going to Palestinian Arab nothing about the Taylor Force Act nor the senators who Gottlieb, originally from California, who regularly provided
terrorists who are paid to kill Americans and Israelis. The voted against it, one of whom may be running for president free chiropractic care to handicapped children, was mur-
original bill didnt have any exemptions, because all money in the near future and one who is part of a political fam- dered in a bus bombing in 2002. Rabbi Hillel Lieberman,
is fungible, but some do exist in its current form. The bot- ily referred to as the Kennedys of the West. If standing up only 36, from New York once traveled through dangerous
tom line is that if the Palestinian Authority rescinds its law against white supremacists is a no-brainer and deserves territory to make a condolence call to the family of a Israeli
and stops paying terrorists for killing people and supporting formal condemnation, doesnt legislation ending funding Druze soldier who was killed defending the Tomb of Joseph.
their families once they commit these heinous acts, PA fund- for those who kill and support the killers of Americans and He was murdered while trying to rescue Torah scrolls from
ing will not be touched. Israelis also warrant our explicit support? the burning Tomb of Joseph in October 2000.
The money is far from de minimis. According to the 2017 There are countless Israelis of all religions and back- Tragically, this list isnt even a third of the 64 and Im list-
PA budget, the payments will constitute almost 50 percent grounds who have been murdered by Palestinian Arab ing only Americans who were killed. This doesnt include
of all foreign aid contributed, almost $350 million to kill terrorists since 1948, but these killings also predate the re- the injured and it doesnt include Israelis. To learn about the
innocents. In a report published by the Jerusalem Center establishment of the state of Israel. However, if we want to others, read, The Forgotten Victims or go to www.jewish-
for Public Affairs, according to MEMRI, the 2016 budget for concentrate just on American lives, according to the Koby virutallibrary.org.
the PLOs Institute For Care For The Families of Martyrs Mandell Foundation and StandWithUs, since 1993 the year We must share these senselessly lost lives with our com-
says that the Institute provides allowances without dis- the Oslo Accords were signed 64 Americans have been munities and our leaders, because anyone who could vote
crimination in other words, also for members of Hamas, murdered by Palestinians. Since the pay-for-slay incentive against the Taylor Force Act or not actively engage in sup-
Islamic Jihad, and so on. It appears that theres no issue was constituted secretly by Yassir Arafat after signing Oslo porting its passage has definitely forgotten them and what
between all these factions and the so-called moderate Pal- and Abbas did not codify it until years later, this means that never again means. How much better would the world be
estinian Authority when it comes to cold-blooded murder we may have been unwittingly complicit in each of these today with their ingenuity and compassion? How many chil-
and money. lives being taken. dren and grandchildren would they have had by now? Each
Since my column last October, I have been thinking Perhaps we need to remind these senators about the peo- one cruelly cheated out of their full lifes journey.
about why there doesnt seem to be the will within the ple behind the statistics. Of course, there is Taylor Force, At the end of the climactic scene in Ordinary People,
Jewish community to make the passing of the Taylor Force only 28, whom I wrote about in October, an Army vet who Conrad, the young man, tearfully asks his doctor if he really
Act an overriding priority. Yes, there have been a few orga- served in Iraq and Afghanistan on a Vanderbilt University- is his friend, and the doctor responds, I am. Count on it.
nizations that have been working hard to pass this legisla- sponsored trip to Israel when he was stabbed in Jaffa in The question is: Can we be counted on to stop funding those
tion and more have become supportive with the revised 2016. Ezra Schwartz, only 18, from Massachusetts, was killed who want to kill us and our children?
version, but there doesnt seem to be the type of com- when a terrorist fired on cars stuck in a traffic jam in 2015.
mitted, strong American Jewish organizational push that New Jersey residents include Leah Stern, a Holocaust survi- Martha Cohen is an award-winning producer and creative
we have experienced with other issues. And so I wonder, vor from Passaic who was murdered in Mahane Yehuda in executive. She lives in Fort Lee with her husband and son.
Letters
What he should have said I beg forgiveness from my fellow Jews for having This letter-writer never expects to see those words
In The speech President Trump should give on Charlot- committed this error in moral judgment, for trampling emerge from the pen of Shmuley Boteach. Neither should
tesville (August 18), Shmuley Boteach writes wishfully on the memory of the Shoah, and for not remembering Rabbi Boteach expect to see Donald Trump say, write, or
about what Donald Trump should have said. I found his the injunction to blot out the memory of Amalek. Now, tweet any other kind of non-hate speech, or demonstrate
column amusing at best, and pointless at worst. as I enter the month of Elul, I pledge to start atoning any sort of common decency. Trump can no more change
In the spirit of putting words into other peoples for my errors. With Yom Kippur near, I promise to be his behavior than a leopard can lose its spots.
mouths, here is what Shmuley should have said about a better, more moral, human being. It is a vow before But one can continue to hope that a Jewish spiritual
Donald Trump, Charlottesville, and recent events. Hashem. leader can do better, and follow the ways of Torah, Rab-
I, Shmuley, am a resident of Chelm. I backed the wrong Oh and by the way, I wholeheartedly endorse Josh beinu Moshe, Amos, Isaiah, Hillel and so many other
horse in the election. I have now come to understand the Gottheimer and will also try to tear down the fences sages. We, the Or lGoyim, must be able to discern the light
error of my ways. No Jew on earth, including me, should that separate me from my former friend, Senator Cory from the darkness.
take the side of a bigot who surrounds himself with racists, Booker. Life is too short for adding more hatred and dis- Eric Weis
anti-Semites, white supremacists and neo-Nazis. respect to this world. Wayne
T
he scene is Paris in the
late 19th century.
At a glittering ball,
a handful of eligible
gentilhommes eagerly circled the
charming Comtesse de La Roche-
foucauldsomething of an Ivanka
Trump in her dayin the hope of
being granted a dance. But when
the comtesse finally took to the Ben Cohen
dance floor, the man on her arm
was Arthur Meyer, the scion of
a rabbinical family who had risen from modest origins to
lar visits to the gym. your own weaknesses, failings, and idiocies first.
You dont need to be a Freud or a Jung or a Lacan to figure From this psychic matter are such emasculated individuals Ben Cohen writes a weekly column on Jewish affairs and Middle
out what these two stories have in common. While Drumont as Cantwell created. Eastern politics. His work has been published in Commentary,
is indubitably more flowery and eloquent than Cantwell Many scholars of anti-Semitism such as Stephen Wilson, the New York Post, Haaretz, the Wall Street Journal, and many
who became a Nazi after failing spectacularly in his previous whose excellent book Ideology and Experience includes other publications.
Letters
Seeing whats coming by the displays of anti-Semitism and do not acknowledge it as up to be soldiers of the Reich.
I do not seen enough progress in stopping the obvious and directed at them, but at the others. Sounds familiar to me. What can we do? Certainly not sit around waiting for the
insidious seeping of anti-Semitism into this country, let alone This was exactly the experience of Jews living in Germany at next march or rally. Being more prepared for how to handle
in the world. I do not see dramatic measures being taken the time when it all began, much in the same way. their words, how protest before another event such as the one
toward the perpetrators of this sickness. Apparently, those I am not saying anything new. Thats what you are thinking. in Charlottesville. Maybe to alter the language of the right to
who have forgotten history or just belittle what happened to But I am a step further and fear the events of todays world free speech.
the six million who perished at the hands of the Nazi regime as huge warnings to all of us. As portents of what will come I dont know. I am not a political person, but I do remember
do not care. if there is no dampening of their actions and words. Yes, we and shudder at the things my mother told me that happened
Who will take the steps necessary to obliterate the rise of live in a nation of free speech. But perhaps we should rethink before she fled Germany. And I wonder what gave her the
so much hate? Our government is not an asset to the Jews. this. Hasnt anyone learned yet about the power of masses of courage to flee at 19, and in turn to save many of her family.
Our Jewish organizations have not yet taken to the streets. Our people reciting slogans that they dont even understand? That She, at least, understood what was coming.
individual Jews have not raised a voice strong enough to be even if explained would be futile? Remember Hitler youth. Sandra Steuer Cohen
heard. In fact, like so many I know, they are a bit embarrassed Those young boys and girls who were taught hate and grew Teaneck
Ethiopian Jews Jews sponsor Ethiopian college students She has a chance to meet the students classroom. I wish the government would
FROM PAGE 10 to provide living stipends. when she visits Israel. It keeps these kids pay for it, but that hasnt happened yet.
agreement that would lead to a resump- The government of Israel was paying connected, keeps them afloat, gives them We have been told when it comes to
tion of aliyah. It did get the aliyah started, for their college education. But they were resources to participate with all the other going to high school, people can always
but it has never been completed, Ms. Gor- having difficulties, since their families students, she said. tell which of the kids have been to Limu-
don said. couldnt support them, Ms. Gordon said. There are many more Ethiopians who diah, because they are well prepared, she
For the past year and a half, NACOEJ has Thousands and thousands have gradu- are moving ahead in Israeli society. There said.
been funding programs that the Ethiopian ated as a result. are many who are not succeeding, who go But Ms. Gordon wants to focus on the
Jews run themselves. In particular, the pro- Diana Yacobi of Englewood is one of the through the system and struggle. There people, not the problems.
grams provide food for children. Were sponsors. She sits on the board of NACOEJ. are stories of the young Ethiopians in the We have Ethiopian judges, lawyers,
now very concerned about a report from a Her interest in Ethiopian Jews was army caught between a rock and a hard medical doctors, nurses, teachers, scien-
health clinic in Gondar, Ms. Gordon said. sparked by their embroidery. In 1990, place. Because theyre helping a sibling or tists, rabbis, Knesset members, other gov-
It found that over half of the children are when thousands of Jews were in Addis had to do something at home, they dont ernment functionaries, authors, dancers,
seriously malnourished. Some are also ill Ababa before they were allowed to emi- get back to the army base on time and singers, actors, filmmakers, she said.
with things like malaria, typhus, intestinal grate, NACOEJ commissioned needlework bump up against the system that penal- We have Miss Israel Yityish Titi
parasites, pneumonia. from them, to give them jobs. As many as a izes them. Aynaw, who won the title in 2013 and
It is clear that a great deal of atten- thousand workers created pillowcases, tal- NACOEJ offers younger students Limu- while she was never in one of our pro-
tion has to be paid to feeding these kids. lit bags, challah covers, and other objects diah a supplementary classroom pro- grams, we recently had the librarian of the
I have no doubt that most of them, if they featuring Ethiopian Jewish life and Jewish gram that adds 10 hours of education to year. He was somebody we rescued from
survive, will be in Israel eventually. The themes. the school week and offers lunch every Ethiopia as a child, who had been crippled
only question is what shape will they be in At one point, I went in and bought a day. Right now, we have 718 students in by polio and couldnt work. He graduated
when they get there. We very much want whole bunch, Ms. Yacobi said. Based on 16 schools in seven communities, Ms. Gor- from Bar Ilan University with a NACOEJ
them to arrive healthy. that gesture I became more involved. don said. sponsor and became a librarian.
Helping the Ethiopians in Israel also She has been sponsoring high school That number includes some non-Ethio- We think there is very great evidence
long has been one of NACOEJs missions. students through NACOEJ. Each child pian students. that even though the early years are hard
We decided the future of the community requires a $350 supplement to pay for A year ago, the government mandated and expensive, the Ethiopian community is
in Israel depended on education, and that their textbooks and school trips, she said. that all programs for Ethiopians that take a great asset to Israel and will be a greater
was what we wanted to work in, Ms. Gor- Their parents cant afford that. place in government facilities must be inte- one as time goes on. We think the ones who
don said. As a sponsor, she has been able to shep- grated, she said. Now we have about 30 are waiting in Ethiopia now will get into
The first project was having American herd kids through their high school years. percent non-Ethiopians in the Limudiah Israel and make Israel very proud too.
Mixed bag in Virginia. And the Ku Klux Klan had ral- can change peoples hearts and minds, I once President Trump sees which way the
FROM PAGE 11 lies in the thousands in New York State and continue to believe in epiphany, Mr. Fox- wind blows, Mr. Foxman said, I do believe
guarded optimism, despite last weeks in New Jersey. But in the postwar period, man said. that he is going to get the message.
confrontations over race and ethnicity. thanks in large part to such organizations I will continue to believe that this man I dont believe that people are inca-
But there still is much work for Mr. as the ADL, the American Jewish Com- who is now president of the United States pable of changing, and I want to believe
Trump to do to regain the countrys trust, mittee, the American Jewish Congress, is capable of understanding the bully that this person who probably doesnt
Mr. Foxman said. He still needs to say, I and the civil rights movement, and many pulpit that he has, and that he will yet like to apologize very much, who prob-
made a mistake. He has to get up in some other Jewish and general organizations, unite us. ably has apologized very few times in his
public forum and say, There are no good for many years they were hiding. They But as events continue to unfold, Mr. life I want to believe that hes capable of
Nazis, not in Europe, not in the United had paramilitary training in forests, so we Foxman finds that even his industrial- an apology.
States. He has to say to the Nazis, I dont passed anti-paramilitary training legisla- grade optimism is fading. He was shaken I think that his daughter and son-in-
want your vote. He needs to say, No, Mr. tion. We passed anti-hate legislation. So for by the presidents campaign-style rally in law should walk in and show him that
David Duke, I dont want you as my friend a long time, they didnt show their faces or Arizona on Tuesday night. Vice video and say that they are going to
or as my supporter. their identities. How terribly sad, he texted as he talk about us. (The video is a short docu-
What about Donald Trump? Is he really And then they had a sort of comeback watched the president roar words of mentary that Vice News released the day
a racist, a neo-Nazi, or a white suprema- on the internet. But now, as a result of the divisiveness and the crowd roar back. A after the rally. Its a close-up look at neo-
cist? Mr. Foxman doesnt know. last election, that has changed. Mr. Trump president unwilling or unable to face up Nazis, narrated by a reporter, Elle Reeve,
Nobody really knows what is in has a responsibility, because while he did to the truth. He may never be able to set who exhibited extraordinary courage in
Trumps heart, he said. A lot of people not support bigotry or racism or anti-Sem- it straight as long as he denies the truth. her reporting. Its easy to find it online by
who know him up close say that he is not itism, in his effort to get elected he broke I am not giving up hope yet as to an googling Vice video Charlotttesville.)
a bigot, not a racist, not an anti-Semite. I every taboo in our social contract. epiphany but I am getting close! I think we have a responsibility to raise
would subscribe to that. And when they saw what this man So how can you still hold onto any our voices, to criticize him, to challenge
What about those shocking images, could get away with, they were embold- hope, given what youve seen, Mr. Fox- him, to tell him what we think, Mr. Fox-
those blond glowering men marching ened, and now they are in-your-face arro- man? Where do you see hope? His man said. We have to be able to stand
with their guns and shields and swastikas, gant, with chutzpah. answer is a bit of verbal jujitsu. We might up, to say what hurts us, to say that this
shouting Blood and soil and Jew. Shall For them to give the kind of inter- be united not as much because of the is wrong.
not. Replace us.? views they gave, to show their faces as president, but almost almost! despite The protests in Boston, massive and
I think Trump is all about Trump, Mr. they did, is because they believe that him, Mr. Foxman said. peaceful, against bigotry and hatred and
Foxman said. Its all about making Amer- America is different than it used to be. Its because of the American people, racism and anti-Semitism, cheered Mr.
ica great again; its all about opportunism. And thats because of the rhetoric. So he elaborated. The response has been Foxman. He thinks that such well-run
Its a mixed bag, he repeated. President Trump has a responsibility to very encouraging, from all leaders of phil- displays of civic virtue might help per-
Mr. Foxman does think that the elec- use his bully pulpit, to say to them, No, anthropic organizations who say that they suade the infinitely persuadable Donald J.
tion campaign, and Mr. Trumps behavior I dont want your support. To say that will not stand near him at Mar-A-Lago, to Trump to move toward it, away from the
at the time, encouraged racists and neo- there are no good Nazis. all the corporate leaders who have said dark side.
Nazis to become more overt. They always But because I am an optimist, because I thank you but no thank you. And this issue Mr. Trump engaged in moral equiva-
have been here, he said. I am not old have spent a lifetime talking and engaging has brought thousands and thousands of lence, and that is wrong, Mr. Foxman
enough to remember it, but I have seen and interacting not just with our friends young people into the streets. concluded. I will urge and I will noodge
the film clips of Madison Square Garden, but also with our enemies, because I do Because he is a populist, he will con- and I will advocate that he will have to fix
full of Nazis. And that was in New York, not believe and I continue to believe that one tinue to raise his finger to test the air. And what he did.
Wall at the Wall together and prayed. There Cheryl told me about one Rosh inclusion or perfect pluralism, but we
FROM PAGE 13 was no mechitzah. The Wall, at that time, Chodesh when Women of the Wall were can all do better. Lets imitate God, who
We also have to address the role of the united Jews and inspired only gratitude, praying at the Kotel, as usual. As usual, retracted the Self to make room for the
Ministry of Religion in religious life in Israel. not controversy. too, the mechitzah at the Western Wall Other. Lets imitate Cheryl Birkner Mack
If the Western Wall were under control I have been to the Kotel on half a dozen was imperfectly honored, with many and the Women of the Wall, who did the
of the National Parks Department instead Friday nights when young women from husbands and wives talking over the same on that Rosh Chodesh/bar mitz-
of the Office of the Rabbinate, it would, Birthright groups sang the Friday night partition, and some women standing vah morning.
like the synagogue at Masada, be open prayers in full voice, and Shabbat peace on chairs, leaning over to witness the First, we have to be willing to see that
to everyone. What does it say that the prevailed. Calls and responses and hora goings-on on the mens side. Before the there is another: another Jew who wants
involvement of rabbinic officials increases dances among the women occasion- womens service started, Cheryl noticed to daven in another way, which has its own
the likelihood of exclusion, conflict, and ally have eclipsed the excitement on the one woman who was peering over the claims to and in Torah.
even violence? mens side. And no one minded. In fact, mechitzah to see what appeared to Speaking of which, I shared this essay
When I went off to the Kotel that its beautiful to see soldiers in their uni- be her sons bar mitzvah service. It with my Orthodox friend before going
Wednesday morning, I told my husband, I forms, mixing with tourists and civilian was clear from the mothers repeated to print. He pointed out that individual
should be back by 10, but if I get arrested, locals in all kinds of garbs, representing glances back at Woman of the Wall that prayer by women is approved at any time
it will be later. He answered, You go, the glorious variety of Jewish communi- she was anxious about hearing her sons at the Kotel. He felt that true tzimtzum
girl! affirming once again my excellent ties and practices. reading. Cheryl talked to the mother and (holy retraction) would require women
choice in a life partner. But it is wrong that Daily, a variety of mens minyanim over- asked her to signal the women when to abstain from praying in groups there
possible assault or arrest by fellow Jews (or lap and adjust their voices and locations the boy began his aliyah to the Torah. altogether. He also offered a challenge
anyone) should be a consideration in pray- to make sure that those praying together At her signal, Women of the Wall low- to the liberal Jewish community: come
ing at the Kotel. can hear one another. On the womens ered their voices to a whisper. Shortly pray at Robinsons Arch in large num-
We can do better. And sometimes we side, which is about one third as large as afterward, the mother exited, together bers. Develop a commitment to regular
actually do. the mens, women often stand in line to with the rest of her female family and prayer on a par with that of the Ortho-
My grandparents traveled to Israel in touch and pray at the wall. It may be the friends, and she thanked the Women of dox community.
1968, almost exactly one year after the only line in all of Israel where no one is the Wall profusely. I look forward to continuing the
Kotel came into Jewish hands. They stood hurried or jostled. It may not be possible to achieve full conversation.
T
wrist, bruised rib, even more bruised car
he Island of Long is the affec- yes, second car accident in my family this
tionate term I have given to summer, but we are all alive, thank God,
Long Island. and the rest doesnt matter) and my stom-
More specifically, the five ach was having some issues. And they
towns (are there other places aside from decided to appear when we were walking
those five towns? Yes, I know home. Lost. In the Island
there are I just always hap- of Long.
pen to end up in one of those After the first dead end
five lovely towns.) Why do I call we ran into, I started get-
it the Island of Long? Perhaps ting a little nervous, wor-
it is because it takes such a rying that I was going to
long time to get there. Bridges have a different kind of
and tunnels and highways, oh accident. My family, true
my. In all my years of driving to form, was making fun of
there, there rarely has been a me. They wouldnt let me
time where there was no traf- Banji knock on anyones door.
fic. How is it possible that some Ganchrow It was late, after all. And
road is always under construc- then husband #1 walked us
tion? What are they doing? into another dead end. And
And if they are doing something, they have that is when I looked around and realized
very poor engineers, because nothing ever how much construction was going on in
seems to change, except that the lanes get the neighborhood.
smaller and I am always convinced that I It seemed that every other house was
Across Down
am going to hit the divider. Unless my car adding on or building new. And what did
1. Dances like Davis Jr. 1. Lhasas land
has just gotten fatter. Who knows. they all have in common? Porta-Potties.
5. One with one sign of kashrut 2. Div. for Angels
When the boys were little, the 9. Larry, Moe, and Curly, e.g. 3. Stick ones head through the shul
bridges became a geography les- 14. Why should ___ you? door, e.g.
son. Who can name the three bor- 15. Contemporary of Isaiah 4. Ahab might have ridden one in battle
oughs that the Triborough Bridge
connects? And then we have the
And there was the 16. Like Efron
17. Like one needing a new parnasah
5. 1984 novel about the life of Ishmael
(with The)
of traffic. You can leave late at the back of my 28. Avner and Amichai
30. Way more than 5777 years
12. Rabbi Eiger and writer Goldsman
13. Solomon, e.g.
night and sit in two hours of traf-
fic. And then, of course, you can
head: Dont do it!! 31. Chills and fever
33. Best (wines)
18. Mate of Brodericks Simba
22. Get a mortgage adjustment from
give yourself extra time because They are dirty! 34. Trent who criticized Carter over the
Palestinians
Leumi, briefly
24. Nut that sounds like the house of
you really need to be somewhere 36. Makes a rabbi G-d?
and it ends up taking you 43 minutes. Mur- I wish I was joking. My boys said, Just 38. Ice cream alternative 25. Sacrificial sounds?
phys Law. You gotta love it. One boy I met go in the woods. No one will see you. I 40. The L-rd shall ___ to me another 26. Many Jack Kirby creations had an
in college told me that he would never date didnt have the strength to go into a les- son (Gen. 30:24) alter one
41. Of course! 27. Like a kibbutz, often
a Jersey girl because we were geographi- son on the female anatomy. After all, I
44. Like Primo Levy 29. Take back lashon hara, in a way
cally undesirable. Back atcha, buddy! was the mom who could drive through 47. Aussie actress Stone 32. Carrie Fishers father
This past weekend my family had an the entire state of Indiana without having 49. Home for women who are almost 35. Like Eichmann in Israel in 1961
aufruf in the Island of Long. Husband #1s to stop to go to the bathroom. And there certainly not Jewish 37. It comes thirteenth, occasionally
first cousin got married on Sunday, so we was the Porta-Potty like a mirage in the 52. Praying to him wont result in a shi- 39. Notable Bea Arthur co-star
duch 42. Redeem for some kesef
all went to celebrate this very momentous desert. I heard my mothers voice in the
54. ___ Lanka 43. She was worshipped in Greece
occasion. The meals werent at the syna- back of my head: Dont do it!! They are 55. It was satirized in Kubricks Dr. 45. Jolson and a king
gogue that the family usually goes to, they dirty! I thought of when my guys were Strangelove 46. Easter preceder
were a bit further away but the length of little and they needed to go. I wouldnt 57. Event that might be followed by a 48. ___ Abner
the walk didnt matter because we were all let them use the Porta-Potty we would lchaim 49. Make like Marcel Marceau
59. Super time?: Abbr. 50. Damon character first brought to
so happy to be there. pick a lovely tree or find a more proper
60. One going to MTA or YULA the screen by Doug Liman
Friday night dinner was lovely. The rest room. 62. Shesh, to a 44-Across 51. It could make a kittel look like new
flowers, the food, the people perfect. But when you have no idea how much 63. ...___ like to call it... 53. His massive home run totals werent
Speeches were funny and all was right longer it will take you to get home, a girls 65. Words that might be followed by exactly kosher
with the world. gotta do what a girls gotta do. And in this Ok bro, yer on!...or how to solve 56. Jose of Wilpons Mets
this puzzle 58. Dwellings for Jews 3300 years ago
And then we had the walk home. girls case, it gave me some good copy for
70. Like Samsons hair, for most of his life 61. Where thousands of Jews were
What happens when four people from a column. 71. Lady Libertys Lazarus brought after the Temple fell
New Jersey have to figure out how to get And hopefully, I didnt get hepatitis. 72. A good girls name? 64. Basketballer Bird
back to a house they dont live in and there 73. Little laugh 66. Meryl played her Jewish therapist in
is no Waze or Google Maps? Normally, get- Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is hoping no 74. Red and White Prime
75. Kibbutz near Kiryat Shmona 67. ...and the bush ___ not consumed
ting lost wouldnt be an issue, but I was one was offended by this column. She also
(Ex. 3:2)
having an issue. You see, I had gotten into hopes that the person whose Porta-Potty The solution to last weeks 68. Rabbi Weiss of note
a car accident a few days earlier and was she used doesnt read this puzzle is on page 43. 69. Zionist youth movement
B
eing Jewish can be complex.
Being a Jewish woman can be
even more complex.
Throw in work, dating, parent-
ing, and, well, life in general, and its really,
really complex. And also you have a plethora
of things to talk about, and even more specifi-
cally, to write about.
Jewish women who have chosen to bare
their souls, both emotionally and literarily,
now have a new place to do it. 70 Faces Media
COURTESY ALMA
COURTESY JCCOTP
with a meet-the-artist-reception on Tues- who just wants to walk. There also will
day, September 5, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.
Boris Lyubner graduated from the
St. Petersburg Academy of Art the
same school where Marc Chagall failed
Cookbook is OBOC selection
to pass the entrance examination some Painting by Boris Lyubner. The Jewish Federa- Solomonov said. For that
75 years earlier and then immigrated tion of Northern New matter, it takes more than
to the U.S. For the next 20 years, he built Intel, Standard & Poors, Motorola, IBM, Jerseys Celebrating being a cook to move a per-
a successful career as an illustrator with Ernst & Young, Toyota, Chrysler, and Nike. Israel @ 70 celebra- son to open a restaurant.
national and international clients that For information, call Nina Bachrach at tion continues with This book is a chronicle of
included Bank of America, Microsoft, (201) 408-1406 or go to www.jccotp.org. the announcement of a journey physical, emo-
this years One Book, tional, personal. As inevi-
One Community book table as it likely seems now,
selection. since you are holding this
It is Zahav: A World book in your hands, noth-
of Israeli Cooking by ing in my life happened the
Michael Solomonov and Steven Cook. way it was supposed to.
Although it is billed as a cookbook, One Book, One Community is a proj-
the book is filled with text that lets ect of Synagogue Leadership Initiative,
readers into Chef Michaels life and his a program of the Jewish Federation of
desire to bring Israeli cuisine to Amer- Northern New Jersey in partnership
ica. The mouthwatering recipes are ill- with the Henry and Marilyn Taub Foun-
lustrated and feature vignettes of color- dation. To become an OBOC partner, or
ful people. for a resource guide of programming
It takes more than a restaurant to ideas, email ElisaH@jfnnj.org or call
move a person to write a cookbook, Mr. (201) 820-3918.
PHOTO PROVIDED
ter in Englewood has tickets for Oh Were Mine) and The Quotations Led by a motorcycle police brigade,
What a Night of Doo-Wop & Rock N (Imagination). Some acts may not with representatives from police depart-
Roll, a show scheduled for Saturday, contain all original members. ments from all over New Jersey and New
November 4, at 7 p.m. Hosted by Cool The Maccabeats are set to perform York, the ride leaves from Andiamo
Bobby B of Sirius Radio, who is a host on Wednesday, December 6, at 7:30, Restaurant in Haworth and follows a
of 50s on 5, LAR Enterprises presents and Kristen Chenoweth will be there 70-mile course through Bergen and Rock- School, and other local charities.
seven doo-wop and rock n roll groups on Sunday, December 10, at 8 p.m., land counties. The ride finishes at Andi- Don Dickstein, owner of Andiamo
including the Happenings (See You In as part of the Benzel-Busch Concert amo Restaurant with a block party cele- Restaurant, initially launched the run in
September), The Capris (Moon Out series. For these and other upcoming bration featuring food and entertainment. 2000 to raise funds for the Cresskill Police
Tonight), Larry Chance & The Earls shows, go to www.ticketmaster.com Proceeds will help support the Engle- Department, and has since expanded the
(I Believe), Kid Kyle (The Diary), or call bergenPACs Box office at (201) wood Hospital and Medical Center Foun- event in support of additional charity
Jimmy Gallagher & The Passions (Just 227-1030. dation, Haworth Volunteer Ambulance, beneficiaries.
Special Olympics, Haworth Police Auxil- To register, go to andiamorun.com or
iary, Andiamo Scholarship to St. Therese call (201) 384-1551.
A
Giyur Kahalacha had gradually
broad-strokes statement of reli- increased its client base following the
gious disunion, the U.S. State Supreme Court ruling that ITIM was part
Departments International of which took the monopoly of conversion
Religious Freedom Report for recognition on Israel away from the rab-
2016 pans the stagnant lack of progress on binate, Farber said.
the part of the Israeli government. The discussion of Giyur Kahalacha in
To chart the religious-ethnic teetering the State Department report is further rec-
balance that is Israel, the report, released ognition of the significance of this initiative
last week, uses a tit-for-tat formulation on the international scene
highlighting the positives and even MK Ksenia Svetlova Rabbi Uri Regev Rabbi Seth Farber He noted, however that the legal suc-
more negatives that occurred in the area YOUTUBE COURTESY URI REGEV IDIT WAGNER cesses of 2016 since have led to proposed
of religious freedom in 2016. Of note, the new restrictive legislation, such as the con-
word continued appeared almost 70 minorities), and discussed inequality in mens section, and the government contin- version bill that was brought to the Knes-
times, an apt signal of the scant reforms religious education. ued to enforce these rules. set and is currently shelved, which was
implemented in the past year. But in reading it, one cannot help but A four-pronged diplomatic slam, that reactionary and would have made the
For example, the report stated that think of the famous biblical adage about statement underlined the fact of separa- chief rabbinate the sole legal authority for
Israel continued to permit non-Jews, nothing new being found under the sun. tion between the sexes, the discrepancy Israeli conversions.
including Muslims and Christians, to pray However, according to Rabbi Uri Regev, between the sizes of the two genders Also on the theme of conversion, the
at the Western Wall, but continued to a lawyer and the head of NGO Hiddush: prayer sections, the inability for pluralis- report emphasized that in four inci-
enforce a prohibition on non-Orthodox Freedom of Religion for Israel, One can- tic denominations to have a vote on guide- dents during the year, the Chief Rabbin-
(including mixed gender) Jewish prayer not over-exaggerate the importance of lines of observance, and finally, the gov- ate also refused to recognize conversions
services. One plus interfaith religious this report being unique in its systematic ernment of Israels complicity with all of approved by the chief presiding rabbinical
freedom and one minus lack of plural- monitoring and scope of coverage. Regev the above. Four huge strikes. judge of the Rabbinical Council of Amer-
ism thus creates a net nil balance. applauded the reports comprehensive Further, the report stated the prohibi- ica (Orthodox) cases which have roused
Likewise, the report stated, The govern- attention to detail and its annual nature, tions against bringing in privately owned American Jewish congregations.
ment and non-Orthodox activists reached which aids in tracing trends and progress Torah scrolls to the Western Wall plaza,
a compromise in January to accommodate over the course of years. and on women from accessing the public Prayer and restrictions
egalitarian prayer, i.e., Reform and Con- Additionally, Regev noted, the report Torah scrolls or giving priestly blessings at on the Temple Mount
servative Jewish services, near the Western reflects the U.S. governments strong the site. Again, huge problems in egalitar- Traditionally, Orthodox rabbis have been
Wall, but the government did not imple- focus on and value attached to reli- ian, democratic eyes. against prayer on the Temple Mount for a
ment it. Again, one, minus one, makes gious freedom. number of reasons, including fear of step-
the score zero for Israel. Unfortunately, however, Regev said, Conversion ping where the Holy of Holies may have
According to Zionist Union Knesset the report underrates the breaches of In the section on conversion, the State stood a clear prohibition.
member Ksenia Svetlova, an immigrant religious freedom on a number of issues. Department report described the trend As recorded in the report, however,
from the former Soviet Union who is a As examples, he cites the inattention paid of modern Orthodox rabbis who have Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi David Lau stated
well-known activist on behalf of the sepa- to the lack of freedom of marriage, civil begun to set up their own conversion in June 2016 he would like to see a Third
ration of church and state, The U.S. State burial, and the many assorted issues sur- courts to push back against the lengthy Temple built on the site without demolish-
Department report clearly indicates that rounding the Western Wall, which are and unwieldy process offered by the Israeli ing Muslim structures. Likewise, increas-
the Israeli government is not implement- more geared against Jews than against chief rabbinate. ing numbers of the self-identified national
ing its own decisions and thus compro- Christians and Muslims. These abuses Called Giyur Kahalacha (or in idiomatic religious Zionist community stated they
mises religious pluralism in Israel. I call of religious freedom are a clear indica- English, Conversion the Correct Way, by found meaning in setting foot on the site.
on the government to serve all Israelis, tion of the wide gap between Israel and Jewish Law), the group of respected rabbis As another example of this trend of
and not only specific ultra-Orthodox pres- other enlightened Western democracies, and thinkers have already converted hun- increased Jewish presence on the Temple
sure groups. such as the USA, which are considered dreds of Israelis many children who Mount, the report cited the November
Written in diplomatic language and the gold standard for religious freedom, were classified as of no religion, a grow- 2016 creation of a Temple Mount lobby by
covering a massive scope of religions and Regev said. ing group of some 400,000 citizens. ruling party Likkud MK Yehuda Glick, who
their accompanied strife, there are trivia That being said, the report did touch on A ruling by the Supreme Court on also held an annual Temple Mount confer-
gems in the report The government a series of hot button issues of concern to March 31 expanded immigration rights ence in the Knesset.
continued to allow Christians and indi- the American people, including the West- under the Law of Return to those who The State Department also reported
viduals who spoke Aramaic to register ern Wall plaza, conversion outside of the completed private (non-Rabbinate) Ortho- that the Waqf, the Jordanian Muslim reli-
with their national or ethnic group listed Orthodox chief rabbinate, and Jewish dox conversions in the country. The Chief gious authorities who maintain the Temple
as Aramean instead of Arab as well as prayer at the Temple Mount and its restric- Rabbinate continued not to recognize non- Mount, continued to restrict non-Muslims
depressingly grim statistics on those killed tions for security reasons. Orthodox converts to Judaism as Jews, from entering the Dome of the Rock shrine
or persecuted due to the strained rela- although they continued to be accepted and the Al-Aqsa Mosque and prohibited
tions among religious and ethnic groups. The Western Wall for the purpose of immigration under the individuals from wearing non-Muslim
There continued to be reports of charedi In a section discussing the Western Wall, Law of Return, stated the report. religious symbols on the Temple Mount/
men spitting at non-charedi Jews and per- arguably the holiest site where Jews are A founder of Giyur Kahalacha, Rabbi Haram al-Sharif.
sons of other faiths, including those wear- allowed to pray in Israel, the report factu- Seth Farber, the head of an NGO called Israeli authorities also restricted move-
ing Christian clerical clothing, it stated. ally stated that all faiths are permitted to Itim, which aids Israelis in navigating the ment on the Temple Mount. In addition to
Interestingly, among other facts and fig- pray at the Western Wall. It highlighted, religious institutions, responded favorably restricting Muslim access according to ages
ures, it tracked the total budget allocated however, that the rabbi of the Western to the reports depiction. during heightened security situations, in
by the government for religious purposes Wall continued to set the guidelines for The discussion of Giyur Kahalacha in some instances barred specific individuals
(NIS 828 million or $215.57 million for reli- religious observance mandating separa- the State Department report is further rec- from the Temple Mount/Haram al-Sharif
gious services for Jewish communities and tion of women and men, with the womens ognition of the significance of this initiative site, including Jewish activists believed to
NIS 121 million or $31.5 million for religious section being less than half the size of the on the international scene, Farber told SEE INACTION PAGE 46
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