How to Reconcile a Relationship

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of
God.
I. Make the first move.
A. If youre standing before the altar in the Temple, giving an offering
to God, and you suddenly remember someone has something against
you, leave your offering there beside the altar. Go at once and first
be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your gift to God.
~ Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)
B. It does not matter if you are the offended person or the offender
make the first move!
C. Time heals nothing. It should be intentional. If time heals
everythingyou dont need to a doctor, youve just got to wait in the
waiting room.
D. The only way to resolve a conflict is to face it. Peace makers makes
the first move. And where do peace makers get the courage to make
a first move? To the Holy Spirit.
E. Ask God for wisdom. If you want to know what God wants you to
do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you . . . James 1:5 (LB) Ask God to
help you. You plan a peace conference. Find a time that is good for
them. Kneel until God has given you a message to say.

II. Begin with whats my fault.

A. Self-Centeredness What causes fights and quarrels among you?
They are caused by selfish desires that are continually at war inside
you? James 4:1
B. When Im peace inside, whats outside doesnt upset me.
C. Its always more rewarding to resolve a conflict than dissolve a
relationship.
D. Pride Pride only leads to arguments . . . Proverbs 13:10 (NCV)
E. Learn how to say this: Im sorry I was only thinking of myself.
F. Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friends eye, but
you dont notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? . . . First,
 take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take
the dust out of your friends eye. Matthew 7:3,5 (NCV)

III. I listen for their hurt and perspective.

A. We think we argue over idea but we argue over emotions. Every time
people got hurt, somebody got their feelings hurt.
B. . . . be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James
1:19 (NLT)
C. Always listen before speaking. Seek to understand before seeking to
be understood. The more we understand them the more patient we
can be.
D. Hurt peoplehurt people.
E. The people who need love the most are those who deserve it the
least.

IV. Speak the truth tactfully.

A. The truth will set you free but youve got to say it with love.
B. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise
brings healing. Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)
C. Truth without love is resisted. Truth with love is received. It is not
what you say, but it how you say it.
D. Fix the problem, not the blame.