1

00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,870

News Anchor:
<i> In local news, child murderer</i>
<i> Joseph Eli Lipnip</i>

2
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,805
<i> is scheduled to die tomorrow</i>
<i> by lethal injection,</i>

3
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<i> his execution already drawing</i>
<i> dozens more spectators</i>

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<i> than the death of TV news.</i>
<i> Carla?</i>

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Carla Johnson:<i> The man</i>
<i> that once ate his own son...</i>

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Wow. He's really getting
executed after all this time.
<i> ...is finally being put down</i>

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00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,349
<i> at the state</i>
<i> correctional facility.</i>

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You know the son
that he ate was --

9
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Your best friend --
Tommy.

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We know.
Stop true-crime bragging.

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I was traumatized,
Summer.

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Okay, your generation
wouldn't get that.

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Bitch, my generation

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gets traumatized
for breakfast.

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It took years of therapy
to even process the reality.

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I mean,
when I was a kid,

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00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,664
I just told myself
that Tommy had gotten lost

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in the magical realm
of Froopyland.

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"Froopyland?"
My make-believe world.

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I know the name's stupid,
but it was so real to me.

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Aren't you guys supposed
to be at your father's

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00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,174
for custody weekend?

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We're not in a hurry.
Dad sleeps until sundown.

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Can we talk a little bit more
 about this Froopy--

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[ Zap, bloop ]
Summer:
Not the bubble gun!

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There's no air --
[ Zap, bloop ]

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I gotta say, I am warming up
to the bubble gun.

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00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,286
You know, if you're so great
at naming things,

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why don't you do it
from now on?

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-What?
-Froopyland.

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Was it my best work?
I don't know.

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Does it deserve
to be shit on creatively?

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Yeah, that's right.

34
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I agree with your look
of horrified realization.

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You can be very inconsiderate
sometimes.

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 [ Rattling ]
[ Grunting ]

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Here it is.

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You know, I collapsed
a quantum tesseract to --

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Dad, I don't care
how you made it.

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I want to know if Tommy's
still in there!

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Relax, Beth.
[ Jingling, crackling ]

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If he is,
we'll find him.

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He'll be the only
sun-bleached skeleton

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with non-imaginary DNA.

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Tommy!

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 Tommy!

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This is a nightmare.

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I can't believe
you used to lock me up

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in this glorified
chicken coop.

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Chicken coop?

54
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Those are procedurally
generated clouds, Beth.

55
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That river is a rainbow.
Literally.

56
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Come on, I-I-I put real
elbow grease into this place.

57
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Well, you're supposed to put
elbow grease into your daughter!

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Gross.

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Do you think something ate him?
Nope.

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Froopyland creatures
were designed to be harmless.

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He definitely
just starved to death.
62
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I could have been the one
who starved to death in here.

63
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What if
I'd gotten hurt?

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God, you're right.
I'm a terrible dad.

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Well,
nothing to live for.

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Goodbye, cruel world!
Dad!

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[ Thump ]
Oh, how do you like that?

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What kind of merciless creator
makes the ground bouncy?

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I'm gonna have
to drown myself.

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[ Thump ]
Unh!

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Oh, no.
Oh, the water's breathable?

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Who went and did that?

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Oh, whatever.

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Yeah, whatever.

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A dad makes a toilet
look like R2-D2,

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and it breaks the front page
of Reddit,

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but I'm Charles Manson
because I gave you

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your own world
instead of an iPad.

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I think the words you're
looking for are -- Aah!

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[ Screeches ]
Holy fuck!
Shit! This thing has claws!

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Yeah, I get it.
It's a childproof world.

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No, no, seriously,
this hurts really bad!

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This thing is sinking
razor-sharp claws in --

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Aah!
Shit!

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You've made your point,
Dad.
86
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Dad?

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[ Pop, pop ]

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Ugh!
[ Both panting ]

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Whose idea was this stupid
custody weekend thing?

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00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,652
I think it's supposed to help
prevent abandonment issues.

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I want
to be abandoned.

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Yeah, I'm talking about Dad.
[ Door opens ]

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Bienvenue a la
Chez Divorced Dad.

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Wow, Dad.

95
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Your place looks way less
like a crackhouse.

96
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It's actually clean,
like a cocaine house.

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Dad,
what's going on?

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I'm simply centered,
activated --

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[ Glass clinks ]
[ Warble ]

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00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,603
And telekinetic?

101
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Pretty cool,
huh?

102
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Check it out.
Who wants a smoothie?

103
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[ Rattle ]

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[ Blender whirring ]

105
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Oh -- Oh, no.
Uh, oh, God.

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Summer -- Summer,
can you --

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-Aah!
-Sorry.

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[ Warble ]
You have much to learn,
my Uloo.

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Morty, Summer,
this is Kiara.

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She's a Krootabulan
 warrior priestess

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from Krootabulon.

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I-I know where Krootabulans
are from, Dad.

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Uh, Chaimuntolo.

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Chaimuntolo,
younglings.

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Hymen...cholo.

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Your father's mind
holds love for you.

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I am humbled to meet
in physicality.

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Dad, are you --

119
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In love with a badass,
sexy alien lady?

120
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Ha, ha, I don't know, Summer.
You tell me.

121
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I wasn't going to ask
if you were in love

122
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since you barely
know her.

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Summer.

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Kiara and I met on that
interstellar dating service

125
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Rick was
always suggesting

126
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when your mom and I
were together.

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And things just
kind of clicked.

128
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We must move!

129
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Our reservation
is at 7:00.

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[ Whoosh ]
I hate
to see her leave,

131
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,156
but I love to watch
her phase shift away.

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I'm sure you noticed
what she has three of,

133
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,794
but guess what
she has two of?

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[ Screeches ]

135
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 Oof!

136
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All right,
knock it off!

137
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Listen, I've been
giving you a pass

138
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because I'm charmed
that life finds a way, but --

139
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Aah!
All right, you know what?

140
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[ Ray gun fires ]
Ouch!

141
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:37,742
Oh!
Unh!

142
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Ouch!
God!

143
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,346
[ Sizzling ]
Aah!

144
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,148
Agh!

145
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,182
[ Arm clicks ]

146
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,917
Oh, Dad, this place
is the safest.

147
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,285
Best dad ever.
148
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,654
Can't you just say,
"I admit it, I screwed up"?

149
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:50,922
Uh, what would be
the point of that?

150
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,157
[ Chuckling ]
You can't do it, can you?

151
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,592
You can't just
fucking apologize.

152
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,761
Okay, okay,
Beth, I'm sorry...

153
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,797
you think you deserve
an apology.

154
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,598
[ Screeches ]
Hey,
don't look at me.

155
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,267
You let your kid roll around
on the floor of a target,

156
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,635
it's gonna
get stepped on.

157
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[ Screeches ]

158
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,772
[ Whir, zap ]

159
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Huh. Well, here's the problem
right here.
160
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,177
We've got a bunch of
Froopyland procedural carbons

161
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,946
all gummed up and mixed in
with real human DNA.

162
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,114
Are you saying
Tommy survived here

163
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,449
by having sex
with Froopy creatures,

164
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creating Froopy-human
hybrid offspring,

165
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:20,785
and then consuming
their proteins,

166
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,954
sustaining himself with
an endless cycle of
cannibalistic incest?

167
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,122
It's just
a working theory.

168
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,390
Of course,
if that's the case,

169
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,891
I expect he'd be worshiped
as a kind of god

170
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:28,159
by a medieval-level
society

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00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,561
of his least-delicious
 children.

172
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:30,829
Halt!

173
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,030
You are now prisoners
of our exalted ruler,

174
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,565
giver and taker
of life,

175
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,200
helper and consumer
of mortality,

176
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,701
dispenser of life --
Yes,
if I could interrupt?

177
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:37,902
We're way ahead
of the reveal here.

178
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,304
Yeah, just take us
to King Tommy.

179
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,139
I thought
warrior priestesses

180
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,974
could only leave Krootabulon
on a hunt.

181
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,142
Mmm.
Thank you, sweetie.

182
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,311
I hope it's not
human season.

183
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,981
I'm on Earth hunting the Varrix.
I would never hunt a human.

184
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,250
Your father and I
are soul-bonded.

185
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,318
Soul-bonded?

186
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,986
Um, does your planet
have shorter days,

187
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,188
because you guys are moving
kind of fast, no?

188
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,656
[ Sniffing ]

189
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,726
[ Dramatic music plays ]

190
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:02,761
[ Whoosh ]

191
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,862
Go get him, honey!

192
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,030
She's always hunting.
[ Chuckles ]

193
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,499
She probably knew
a Varrix worked here,

194
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,101
and that's why she said
the Yelp reviews didn't matter.

195
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,436
Dad, do you understand

196
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,538
 how serious
Krootabulon soul-bonding is?

197
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:17,208
Uh, gee, Morty, I don't know.
It's got such a casual name.

198
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,777
If you want to lecture anyone
about commitment,

199
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,111
start with your mom.

200
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,380
Oh, my God.
Dad, is that what this is about?

201
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,749
Are you rushing into a new thing
to get back at Mom?

202
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,018
Every weekend, you two
have told me to move on.

203
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,453
Move on, like,
out of bed.

204
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,722
Like, stop using paper towels
for toilet paper,

205
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,957
not move on
into a sloppy rebound.

206
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,527
Dad, you need to slow down,
rethink this soul bond.

207
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,862
Why don't you just say
what you really mean?

208
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,097
 You think it's cool

209
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,099
that having sex with her
gives me telekinesis

210
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,067
and you recognize
she's got a hot bod

211
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,869
like Cheetara
in "Thundercats,"

212
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,104
but you're grossed out

213
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,606
by her avocado-shaped head
and blue skin,

214
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,510
and you think I want to put
a bag and a wig on her head.

215
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,312
After all the time
and energy I spent

216
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,880
teaching you two
about race...

217
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,615
[ Varrix screams ]
...you ended up racist.

218
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:58,917
[ Whoosh ]

219
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,552
Soon your world
will be rid of Varrix.

220
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,320
Tomorrow,
we celebrate.
221
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:03,922
We could take the kids
to the water park.

222
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,090
We celebrate
with a hunt!

223
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,992
Ooh.
You kids want to hunt?

224
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,060
-Yes.
-Yes.

225
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,728
[ Trumpet fanfare ]

226
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,932
All kneel
for King Tommy!

227
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,834
I'm not kneeling.
Suck my dick.

228
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,902
Well, hello, all!

229
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,104
I am the King
of Froopyland,

230
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,807
but I go
by another name, too.

231
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,742
We know.
It's Tommy!

232
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,977
-We know.
-We know.
233
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,080
I have lived here
since I was a mere child.

234
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,148
-We know.
-Got it.

235
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,749
I suppose
you're wondering,

236
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,818
how do I
sustain myself?

237
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:34,919
-Oh, boy.
-No, we aren't.

238
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,988
I always find
the theater

239
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:39,257
is the best way
to clarify things.

240
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,291
-Ugh.
-Seriously?

241
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,494
Oh, my God.
Players, go!

242
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,962
I am little Tommy.

243
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,096
[ Crowd cheers ]

244
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,764
I am tiny Beth.

245
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,766
 [ Crowd boos ]

246
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:49,834
Oh, come on.

247
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,769
Come with me
to a magic land.

248
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,937
Froopy: Don't do it!

249
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,106
This is
my secret Froopyland

250
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,275
where I have no rules!

251
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,543
I am excited.

252
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,780
I am jealous of Tommy's friends
and his Nintendo

253
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,616
and his dad
who likes him.

254
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,118
I take it Tommy wasn't
class playwright.

255
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,020
You want to see
the Honey Swamp?

256
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,155
Yes!
Let's do it!

257
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,057
Well,
I want to see you dead.

258
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:15,460
Ow, help!
I'm stuck!

259
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,828
I'm covered in honey.

260
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,530
Huh.
Well, that's interesting.

261
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:19,731
Fake news.

262
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,399
Many nights have passed,

263
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,202
trapped
in this strange land.

264
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:29,541
I am hungry, and all I can do
to pass the time is hump.

265
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,876
I will hump this rock.

266
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,211
[ Tapping ]

267
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,979
I will hump this tree.

268
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,247
[ Tapping ]

269
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,850
I will hump
this beast of the land

270
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,818
and put my seed in it.

271
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,320
[ Tapping ]
272
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,490
I am the first
of Tommy's children.

273
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,394
Eat of my flesh
so you may survive.

274
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,896
And so I did.

275
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,565
Oh, wow.

276
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,832
Okay.
Yeah.

277
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,168
Certified fresh.
Good -- Good job.

278
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,837
Perhaps a demonstration is
in order. [ Unzips shorts ]

279
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,173
No, that is the last thing
that is in order!
Ugh.

280
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,708
Oh, my God.
Poor Froopy character.

281
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,376
Leave him alone.
[ Shorts zip ]

282
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,679
Ahh.
Gather round, gang!
[ Moos ]

283
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,713
Dinner time.
284
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,014
[ Splorch ]

285
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,884
All right, that's it.
I'm outta here.

286
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,385
What are you doing?

287
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,720
We're in the middle
of an adventure.

288
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,522
Here's some things
an adventure needs, Beth.

289
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,857
Conflict, stakes,
a way for me to benefit,

290
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,192
and, clearly, Morty.

291
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,560
But Tommy's
still in there,

292
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,429
raping Muppets
and eating babies.

293
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,064
Yep. Luckily,
that's not our problem.

294
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,198
Time to pull the plug.

295
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,433
Pull the plug?

296
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,201
We have to get Tommy
 out of there, okay?

297
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,536
We -- We need to do
the right thing.

298
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,037
Do what you never did
as a dad --

299
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,272
Put in a little effort.

300
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,540
All right,
cut the high-road routine.

301
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,208
We both saw
Tommy's shitty play.

302
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,710
You pushed him
in the Honey Swamp, Beth.

303
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,712
His very happy life
is in your hands.

304
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,313
You go save him
from it.

305
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,582
[ Scoffs ] You're gonna believe
a play over your own daughter?

306
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,051
Yes, I am, Beth,
because you're not
my own daughter.

307
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,086
Oh, God, yes.

308
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,387
I'm one of infinite Beths
309
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,389
with infinite fathers
in infinite universes.

310
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,991
It's called a hug, Dad.
It won't kill you.

311
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,325
Yeah, don't be so sure.

312
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,893
You know why all Ricks
made a Froopyland

313
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,061
for all their
little girls?

314
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,429
Same reason
I wasn't surprised

315
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:00,164
by Tommy's overwritten,
badly structured,

316
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,499
cheaply produced
flashback.

317
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,401
You were a scary fuckin' kid,
man.

318
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,736
[ Scoffing ]
Oh, my God.

319
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,738
I didn't make Froopyland
to get rid of you, Beth.

320
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,473
I did it to protect
the neighborhood.
321
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,074
Not in a [burps]
noble sense.

322
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,609
It was just more practical
to sequester you

323
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,012
before I had to start,
you know, cloning a replacement

324
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,914
for every less-than-polite
little boy or gullible animal

325
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,516
that might cross
your socio-path.

326
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,518
You would rather believe
I'm evil

327
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,086
than admit that
you were a bad father?

328
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,521
Oh, dude, no.

329
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,289
No, bad father all the way
to the max over here.

330
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,591
I'm a fuckin' nutcase.

331
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,426
And the acorn plopped
straight down, baby.

332
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,761
Look at
some of this shit
333
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,529
you were asking me
to make you as a kid.

334
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,597
Ray guns.

335
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,365
A whip that forces people
to like you.

336
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,302
Invisibility cuffs,
a parent trap, a lightning gun,

337
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:40,772
a teddy bear with
anatomically correct innards,

338
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,609
night-vision googly-eye glasses,
sound-erasing sneakers,

339
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,779
false fingerprints,
fall-asleep darts,

340
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,449
a lie-detecting doll,
an indestructible baseball bat,

341
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,053
a Taser shaped like a ladybug,
a fake police badge,

342
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,556
location-tracking stickers,
rainbow-colored duct tape,

343
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,460
mind-control hair clips,
poison gum,

344
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,362
a pink,
sentient switchblade.
345
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,030
Hi, Beth,
you've gotten taller.

346
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,165
Shall we resume
stabbing?

347
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,366
Has it occurred to you

348
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,634
that I asked you
to make those things

349
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,469
because I wanted you
to spend time with me?

350
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,138
Has it occurred to you that
<i> if</i> I did try killing Tommy,

351
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,307
it might be because
I was jealous of his family?

352
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,675
Wait, what?
Why?

353
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,143
Wasn't his dad, like,
some kind of cannibal?

354
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,378
Seems like it must be
hereditary.

355
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,146
Oh, my God.
This is your fault.

356
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,548
I am not a bad person.

357
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,982
I'm gonna go back
in there,

358
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,984
I'm getting Tommy,
and I'm fixing this!

359
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:30,688
Whatever you say,
Stone Cold Steve Austin.
[ Jingling ]

360
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,256
I don't know why
I just said that.

361
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,659
Doesn't make a lot of sense,
but gotta stand by it.

362
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,195
Whatever you say,
Stone Cold Steve Austin.

363
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,463
I'm owning it.

364
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,767
[ Ax swings ]

365
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,169
Morty: No, Dad!
You're not doing it right!
[ Ax swings ]

366
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,171
Cutting off their heads
isn't doing it right?

367
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,407
They're [grunts]
clearly regenerative!

368
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,009
I-I think you have to stab them
through the heart or something.
369
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,544
You think or you know?

370
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,913
I thought you were the alien
expert, Isaac Asi-hole.

371
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,749
Don't snap at me!
I'm tired!

372
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,550
-Me, too!
-We're all tired!

373
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,419
[ Ax swings ]

374
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,920
[ Whoosh ]
[ Grunts ]

375
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,589
That's
the last of them.

376
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,224
Tonight,
we celebrate.

377
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,091
With a hunt?

378
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:12,130
Yes, for tomorrow,
we hunt.

379
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,369
[ Rain trickling ]
[ Clears throat ]

380
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,106
I, uh, really have to get out
of this soul bond.

381
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:23,608
 -What the fuck, Dad?
-Oh, my God! Duh!

382
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,642
-Obviously!
-Yeah, no kidding!

383
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,710
Can you guys help me?

384
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,044
What? How?

385
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,713
Can I just, uh, tell her
it's because of my kids?

386
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,282
You know, like, you don't like
the shape of her head, or --

387
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,618
That's you, Dad!
That's<i> you!</i>

388
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,453
You're a baby
and an idiot!

389
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,755
I think that's been established,
Summer. Now help me!

390
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,123
First,
I want you to admit

391
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,459
that you're a closet racist,
a beta-male sexist,

392
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,761
and you dragged everyone
into a horrible situation

393
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,296
by only thinking
 of ourself.

394
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,164
Okay.

395
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,899
I want
to hear you say it.

396
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,934
[ Sighs deeply ]

397
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,903
Look,
I'm a closeted racist,

398
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,604
and I'm sexist
and selfish,

399
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:56,908
and I dragged us all into
my sexist, racist bad things

400
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,476
because I'm stupid.
Thank you.

401
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,645
Now you're gonna help me,
right?
She just did.

402
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,580
Yeah,
clean up your own mess.

403
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,482
Wait, wait, what?

404
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,083
Oh, man.

405
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,985
[ Trumpet fanfare ]
Tommy: All right, everybody.
406
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,253
Next item
on the docket --

407
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,355
I would like to have sex
with some of you,

408
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:14,158
and then eat the babies.
[ Froopys murmuring ]

409
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,493
I thought
you'd like that.

410
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,495
I do keep rolling out
the hits, don't I?

411
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,663
[ Bang ]

412
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,265
Oh!
It's the Magic Crayon Lady!

413
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,868
Are you hungry?
I was just about to make dinner.

414
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,469
And by "make dinner,"
I mean --

415
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,272
Tommy, I'm going to take you
to the real world.

416
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,841
Well, this<i> is</i>
the real world.

417
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,309
No, you don't understand!
Your dad --
418
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,377
Uh, people think
your dad ate you!

419
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:34,979
So?
You doy-oy!

420
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,480
People should
eat people.

421
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:37,648
Just leave me alone!

422
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,483
Tommy,
you don't understand.

423
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,785
I have to make this right

424
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,820
because it's my fault
that you're in here.

425
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,689
I'm Beth.
[ All gasp ]

426
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,790
-Beth?
-The destroyer!

427
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,991
The destroyer!

428
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,860
Oh, suck it up,
Princess Incest.

429
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,328
You fell
into some honey.

430
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,731
Well, it tends to happen
when one is pushed into honey.

431
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,868
I respect your right
to believe I pushed you.

432
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,536
Oh, do I get
to have that?

433
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,671
Is my reality like
a little side of fries --

434
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,341
a little Kwanzaa
you're willing to slide my way?

435
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,244
Yes, because I'm focused
on saving your father's life

436
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,145
because I'm not
a petty piece of shit.

437
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,214
So, then,
it should be pretty easy

438
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,316
to say,
"Sorry I pushed you."

439
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,985
Real easy
and not necessary,

440
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,553
since you coming home
will save your dad's life

441
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,921
whereas nothing is changed

442
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,723
 by anyone stroking
your batshit-crazy ego.

443
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,057
Sorry, forgive me.

444
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,659
Uh, I've been in Froopyland
for quite a while.

445
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,160
Have apologies changed?

446
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,897
Tommy, I'm sorry you think
you deserve an apology.

447
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,198
Oh, my God.
I'm my father.

448
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,034
Uh, will someone
just kill this B-word?

449
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,235
[ Froopys muttering
threateningly ]

450
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,670
[ Grunts ]
Hi-ya!

451
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,006
Oh, my God.
I'm my father!

452
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,407
Ya!
Ooh! Froopy!

453
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,742
[ Screams ]

454
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,710
Switchblade:
It's stab time!
 Together: Ooh!

455
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:40,912
[ School bell rings ]

456
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,214
And that's why one pussy
plus two pussies

457
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,050
makes a bunch of pussies.

458
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,251
Come on, y'all,
I'm trying to make this

459
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,186
appealing to your
sex-addicted lifestyles.

460
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,923
Hi, I need to pull Morty out of
school. Come on, Morty.

461
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,858
Ha! You heard
your daddy, Morty.

462
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,192
you have
to leave school.

463
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,928
Wait,
what are my values?

464
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,629
Dad, what's going on?
We're going to Alaska.

465
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,298
What? Why?
It's nice there.

466
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,433
Also, I broke up with Kiara,
and she didn't take it well,
467
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,868
and she wants
to murder you two.

468
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,436
What? Th-Then why
are we walking?

469
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,904
I'm walking
because I'm tired.

470
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:08,072
You guys should
definitely run.

471
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,641
[ Whoosh ]
[ Screams ]

472
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,076
[ Thud ]
Excuse me, I just --

473
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,045
You know what?
I'm -- I'm just gonna go left.

474
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,613
No, okay, your left,
that's fine.

475
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,749
Do you know what left is,
'cause -- Ugh!

476
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,118
What does your breakup
have to do with us?
[ Engine starts ]

477
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,720
Yeah,
we chose Mom hands down.

478
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,488
I thought we made that clear
at the lawyer's office

479
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:27,091
and in the comments under
your weird rant on Facebook.

480
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,426
[ Crash ]
[ Tires squeal ]

481
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,062
She kind of blames you guys
for the breakup.

482
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,296
-Why?
-Why?

483
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:33,764
Because I told her
it was your fault.

484
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:34,832
-What?!
-What?!

485
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,400
Look,
I'm not an evil person.

486
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,569
I'm just not
very imaginative!

487
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,738
[ Warbling ]

488
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,407
[ Grunts ]
[ Metal twisting ]

489
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,141
Oh!

490
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,309
[ All scream ]
491
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,111
Rick:
Doo-doo butt

492
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,113
Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt

493
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,348
No.
[ Jingling ]

494
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,583
Doo-doo butt,
doo-doo butt

495
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,518
Hey.
Hey.

496
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:58,489
Um, hmm, so just, like,
out of curiosity,

497
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,491
if you were gonna make
a clone of Tommy,

498
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,093
what would you need
to get started?

499
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,861
I don't kn--
Tommy's DNA?

500
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,629
Okay,
'cause he, um...

501
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,865
Yeah, he didn't
want to come back,

502
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,301
so, um,
he gave me this.
503
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,003
He gave you his finger?

504
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,337
Uh, well,
what happened is --

505
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,339
It's okay.
It doesn't matter.
Okay.

506
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,008
This'll take
about three hours.

507
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,642
Okay.

508
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:20,511
Hey.
You want to help?

509
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,346
Okay.

510
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:25,483
Doo
I got a doo-doo in my butt

511
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:29,520
Doo-doo-doo-doo
And I don't know what to do

512
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,889
With the doo-doo in my butt

513
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:36,327
But I know that a father
should say to you

514
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,696
That he's proud of you

515
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,832
 Doo
Every daughter is a doo-doo
from a father's butt

516
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:45,369
Biologically speaking,
the butt is a nut

517
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,638
And every father
fathers wrong

518
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,041
Ooh
And there isn't a song

519
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,044
That can change that

520
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,579
I am wiped out.
I guess I'll turn in.

521
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,982
Cool.

522
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,183
Dad?

523
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,885
I feel like
I've spent my life

524
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,555
pretending you're a great guy
and trying to be like you.

525
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,257
And the ugly truth
has always been --

526
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:10,161
That I'm not that great a guy
and you're exactly like me.

527
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,195
Am I evil?
528
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,730
Worse.
You're smart.

529
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,232
When you know nothing matters,
the universe is yours.

530
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,368
And I've never met a universe
that was into it.

531
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,003
The universe is
basically an animal.

532
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,404
It grazes
on the ordinary.

533
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:22,506
It creates infinite idiots
just to eat them,

534
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,542
not unlike
your friend Timmy.
Tommy.

535
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,110
Yeah, it hardly matters now,
sweetie.

536
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,045
You know, smart people get
a chance to climb on top,

537
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,380
take reality for a ride,

538
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,115
but it'll never stop
trying to throw you.

539
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,349
And, eventually,
 it will.

540
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,118
There's no
other way off.

541
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:37,755
Dad, I'm out of excuses
to not be who I am.

542
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,758
So who am I?
What do I do?

543
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,226
My advice --
Take off.

544
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,795
Put a saddle on your universe.
Let it kick itself out.

545
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,063
I can't do that.

546
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,698
The kids,
Jerry, my job,

547
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,633
and, as much as I hate to admit
it, ABC's "The Bachelor."

548
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,936
I can make a clone of you,
a perfect instance of you,

549
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,037
with all your memories.

550
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,472
An exact copy
in every way.

551
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,273
It'll love and provide
for the kids,
552
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,543
do your job, and consume
broadcast-network reality TV

553
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,079
on the same allegedly ironic
level as you.

554
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,414
You could be gone a day,
a week,

555
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,616
or the rest of your life
with zero consequences.

556
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,118
The moment you decide
to come back,

557
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,487
I flip a switch,
and the clone's job is done.

558
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,288
It feels no pain,
it regrets nothing,

559
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:14,658
and has zero chance
of going "Blade Runner."

560
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:17,495
If nothing matters,
why would you do that for me?

561
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,131
I don't know, maybe you matter
so little that I like you.

562
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,233
Or maybe
it makes you matter.

563
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,300
Maybe I love you.
564
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,468
Maybe something about
your mother.

565
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,138
Don't jump a gift shark
in the mouth.

566
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,472
I don't know
if I can do it.

567
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,474
Then stay,
and luxuriate in a life

568
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,343
you can finally know
you've chosen.

569
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,645
My secret bonus is that
no matter what you choose,

570
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,814
you're finally gonna
chill the fuck out.

571
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,288
Okay.

572
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,657
I know
what I want to do.

573
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,658
[ Whoosh ]

574
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,692
Aah!

575
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:50,161
[ Thud ]
Ow!

576
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,163
You can't run forever!

577
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:53,430
She's really pissed off.

578
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,199
I know.
It's kinda hot.

579
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,500
Shut up!

580
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:58,769
The hunters!
They're back! Run!

581
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,437
-We're not hunters.
-We want to hide with you.

582
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,206
We're not hiding.
We're nesting.

583
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,274
Ooh la la.

584
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,475
[ All scream ]

585
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,343
The children
must be destroyed

586
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:07,711
so that
we can be together.

587
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:11,348
You need to break up with her,
Dad -- properly!

588
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,217
[ Whoosh ]
God damn it, Dad!
589
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,319
[ Grunts ]
Dump her!

590
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,353
Okay, okay.

591
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:18,322
Kiara,
let's just run away.

592
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,356
-Dad!
-Come on!

593
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:20,824
Just rip
the Band-Aid off!

594
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,193
Okay!

595
00:19:22,228 --> 00:19:24,161
Kiara, when I told you
my kids were bigoted racists

596
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,030
who were demanding
I break up with you,

597
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,464
I lied.

598
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,533
If anybody deserves to be
telekinetically strangled,

599
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,701
it's me.

600
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:34,305
<i> I'm</i> the one who
wants to break up.

601
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,006
I -- I'm not
 an evil person.

602
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,374
I'm lazy,
I'm cowardly,

603
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:39,643
and -- and I do not
know what I'm doing.

604
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,745
Look, I got someone pregnant
at 17.

605
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,481
We're getting a divorce.
None of this is on purpose.

606
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,217
I was excited
to date someone cool

607
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:49,353
because it would make
my ex notice me.

608
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:53,724
I would expect nothing less
from humanity --

609
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:56,427
a selfish, manipulative,
dishonest species that --

610
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:59,330
-Kiara?
-Trandor!

611
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,764
What are you
doing here?

612
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,233
Just...hunting.

613
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,901
Do you really expect me
 to believe

614
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,036
it has nothing to do
with us?

615
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:07,538
You knew
Earth was my domain.

616
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,506
I don't like what
you're insinuating.

617
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,342
Dad, can we go now?
Hold on a second.

618
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:14,411
I'm starting to get the feeling
that<i> I</i> was the rebound.

619
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:16,280
Dad, you just got handed
an Ex Machina.

620
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,581
You're taking it.

621
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:21,085
Varrix nests spread
across 300 galaxies,

622
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,787
and you just happened to pick
this planet to hunt?

623
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:27,124
That's Gorgon shit --
total Gorgon shit!

624
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,359
[ Birds chirping ]

625
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,094
We're home!
626
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,629
Hey, guys!
What's for dinner?

627
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,264
How was Jerry's?
The usual.

628
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,532
Can we have pizza?
Pizza sounds great.

629
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,635
Hey, Rick, did you know my dad
was dating an alien?

630
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,137
No. Gross.
For the alien.

631
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,606
Aw, crap, I think
Arnaldo's is closed.

632
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,208
Are you guys sure
you want pizza?

633
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,443
[ Whoosh ]

634
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,579
Arnaldo's isn't closed
in the dimension

635
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,314
where they didn't invent
Daylight Savings!

636
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,150
What would we do without you?
I love you, Dad.

637
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,952
Love you, too,
sweetie.
638
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,621
By the way,
that wasn't time travel.

639
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,290
There were just a couple pizzas
on the counter.

640
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:00,958
I grabbed them.

641
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:07,097

642
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:13,170

643
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:19,310

644
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:25,649

645
00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:31,522

646
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:33,924
<i> [ Beep ]</i>
<i> Hey, Jerry, it's Kiara.</i>

647
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,493
<i> Listen, my boyfriend saw those</i>
<i> texts you've been sending me,</i>

648
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:37,961
<i> and he got pretty pissed off.</i>

649
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,264
<i> If he calls you,</i>
<i> just ignore him!</i>
<i> [ Beep ]</i>

650
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,699
<i> [ Beep ]</i>
<i> This is Carmox.</i>
651
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,167
<i> I have intercepted</i>
<i> sexual communications</i>

652
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,002
<i> between you and my</i>
<i> new girlfriend, Kiara.</i>

653
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,004
<i> I am coming to kill you now!</i>
<i> [ Beep ]</i>

654
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,806
<i> [ Beep ]</i>
Rick:
<i> Yo, Jerry, it's the Big R.</i>

655
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,874
<i> Uh, I killed that alien</i>
<i> that was coming after ya.</i>

656
00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:52,676
<i> Looking out for ya, buddy.</i>
<i> [ Beep ]</i>

657
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,211
<i> [ Beep ]</i>
<i> Hey, Jerry, it's Rick.</i>

658
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,013
<i> Don't be mad. I fucked</i>
<i> your ex-girlfriend Kiara.</i>

659
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,381
Kiara:<i> Who are you</i>
<i> talking to, Rick?</i>

660
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:58,816
<i> Doesn't matter.</i>
<i> [ Beep ]</i>

661
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,517
<i> [ Beep ]</i>
<i> Hey, Jerry, this is Michael</i>

662
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,019
<i> down at The Antique Phone</i>
 <i> rentals.</i>

663
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,687
<i> Um, I'm gonna go ahead</i>
<i> and let you off the hook</i>

664
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:05,222
<i> for the $70 late fee.</i>

665
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,790
<i> You can go ahead and keep</i>
<i> that answering machine.</i>

666
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,525
<i> Nobody really</i>
<i> uses those anymore</i>

667
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,027
<i> except for exposition</i>
<i> on TV shows, anyways.</i>

668
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:11,362
<i> [ Click ]</i>