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Latina 2010 09 LoveHimorLeaveHim
Latina 2010 09 LoveHimorLeaveHim
Latina 2010 09 LoveHimorLeaveHim
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"I CHEATEDAND
"Myman HEWON'T FORGIVE"
is 100 macho" THE SITUATION: For some women, being cheated on is a dealbreaker,
but what happens when you're the guilty party? That's Ali's" situation,
THE SITUATION: What would you do if
Sometimes
'" THE SOLUTION: First ask yourself
this: Is his negative outlook
a personalityissue or a reaction
.
THE SOLUTION: For starters, you can't change our significantothers go through to his current situation?"Ifhe's
anybody completely. "The most we can do is make a rough patch and we start reactingto a crisisin his lifeand
compromises we agre~ with and modifications to questioninghowlongwe can stick feelingdepressed, then this is
make the other person feel better," says clinical bythem before movingon. "My when you're there to help him,"
psychologist Ana Nogales, Ph.D. You should boyfriendused to be motivated, Nogalessays. Butif he's a negative
also be aware of the survival modes that may b.utafter a bad school semester person who spends his time
kick in when you live With a machista: Youmay and being'laidoff,he hasn't tried blamingothers instead of taking
either become submissive and then depressed, or to do better for himself,"Erin" action, then that would be a red
you may start acting manipulative. Either way, says. "He complainsabout things flag. Todetermine what the case
goingwrongin his lifebut avoids maybe, compare howhe treated
it's destructive. Nogales suggests seeking out
tryingto fixthem. Ioffersolutions, friends, familyand, yes, you before
a therapist. "When you try and talk and nothing but he won't listen and sometimes his problems arrived, "Ifhe makes
happens, or when you repeat yourself and it goes
takes his frustrations out on me. you feeLbad and it's part of his
nowhere, that's when you're stuck," she says. Ifeel likeIneed someone that's personality,you're not goingto
"That's when you need someone else to intervene goingto moveforwardwith me, help,"she says. "He has to be
so things can be discus.sedwith someone who can but at the same time Idon't want responsiblefor his life."Sostep
be the interpreter for the relationship." to be without him." back and see ifhe regainscontrol.
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"WI LLau R
LONG-DISTANCE
LOVE LAST?"
THE SITUATION: There's a Spanish
alone on different continents. "This is
when you have to put your heart and
your intelligence together to work,"
Nogales says. "Ifyou're both really in
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Relationship -.
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returning. Mami is so annoyed with him this is the guy for you, then what are --- the relationship."
for not proposing the last time Iwent to
see him, saying, 'If he marries you,.he'li
you willingto give up?" Nogales asks. -- . Cheating "If either one of you
cheats, it doesn't mean that the
As for all the criticism and advice: You
get a green card.' " . can listen, but you're the only one who --- relationship isn't worth it, but it's
time for you to take a good look
THE SOLUTION: Long-distance can make those decisions.
relationships are incredibly tryi,ngwhen ,...- at this person."
-Ana Nogates, ph.D.
couples live in different states, let *Names have been changed to protect privaq}.