Gabriela Leija-Hernandez

Professor Sheila Fielding

WRTC103_0045

12 September 2017

Divide the Cultures but Not the Girl

As the offspring of a Spanish father and a White mother, I am constantly interrogated

with the same questions such as the infamous, Why do you look more this way than that

way? For the purpose of my story and the way I encountered the events being a member of

more than one racial/ethnic group signified that I was biracial. The importance of my

experience lies within what I learned about myself and others due to being ridiculed for a

language society expected me to speak fluently and for being judged just because I looked

different from both sides of my family. I want to share this so that my readers learn as I did

that everyone faces differences and we should not reprimand someone for being different.

It is only appropriate the Oxford University Press would attach a sentence in its

thesaurus of the word that reads, -he suggests that modern racial differences have a long

evolutionary history (Synonyms of Racial, Oxford University Press). In 2015, seven percent of

all U.S. adults reported having at least two races in their background. While the percentage of

biracial youth continues to increase, twenty-four percent of biracial individuals admitted feeling

annoyed due assumptions to their racial identity. (Multiracial in America)

 In the 1960 classic To Kill a Mockingbird, the characters Jem and Scout engage in

conversation what a mixed child is. Jem explains,

Half white, half colored ... Hes half white. Theyre real sad They dont

belong anywhere. Colored folks wont have em because theyre half white; white folks

wont have em cause theyre colors, so theyre in-betweens, dont belong anywhere.

(Lee, 163)

During high school, I read these words and they made me reminisce about my identity crisis.

Those who were of full Spanish descendent mocked my differences in a language I wasnt fluent

in and those who were full Caucasian ridiculed me by chanting that I didnt deserve to be in the

country I was born in. My friend proposed, Gabby, if you conform to only one of your races,

youll make more friends. Losing a part of myself felt like my only option.

It wasnt until the 1997 film of Selena aired on public television that I felt represented.

Once her music career took off, her father addresses: We have to be twice as perfect as

anyone else. We have to prove to the Mexicans how Mexican we are and we have to prove to

the Americans how American we are. Its exhausting!

This quote was the framework of how struggling as a biracial individual felt like. Both parents of

mine sound and act differently according to the lifestyle they grew up with. As a kid, I

discovered that expressing myself stirred up confusion among both my friends and family.

PART 2 OF ROUGH DRAFT IS BELOW

On two specific occasions, it was inevitable to me that I was labeled as one race or the

other. However, the possibility that I could simultaneously be of both races was disregarded.
The first consisted of my family on my fathers side. I noticed as a string of murmurs fell from

my cousins lips. I carefully followed along with the conversation in the other language, but I

was hesitant to respond because I lacked that fluency.

Its very disappointing that you are part Mexican and cant speak the language. Are you

embarrassed? My cousin asked, alluding that my reputation at school engraved me as a Lazy

Latina even though White individuals used discriminative terms against me such as calling me

an illegal. I felt alienated from a part of my family. I lived the culture of my father yet I felt

that I had disgraced the Spanish aspect of my identity.

The second incident included being regarded as just Spanish and not the White aspect

of my identity. A distressed old lady trudged into my job, apprising to me her hatred towards

the new president.

As a little brown girl such as yourself, you must agree that all White people are disgusting and

only desire helping themselves! She spoke, causing red to flash on my cheeks. I was taken back

that she assumed I would agree with her generalizations because I was half Mexican.

For both of these embarrassing situations, I chose to address my thoughts for the first

time to the appropriate parties involved. I told my cousin that no matter how my other side of

my family shaped me I will always be Mexican too. I built up the courage to speak to her once I

realized I could show her famous examples of individuals who proudly represented their

Spanish culture without speaking much of the language. As for the outspoken lady I

encountered at work, I informed her that we cant generalize a race because the president

generalizes us of Spanish descent at points of his campaign. I revealed to her my identity as a

Spanish and White individual. I noticed her lips curl up and she responded, I can tell times have

been tough for you considering who you are. Thanks for your pride in who you are. I was

overwhelmed with the events that just occurred as she grabbed her food and left after speaking

those words to me.

My final incident I would like to share doesnt include myself being mistreated directly. I

remember trying to befriend a sweet girl from one of my classes. Many people I knew also

knew this girl and warned me. They told me that I was risking my identity as a Mexican woman

because of this girls race and political views. This girl was extremely sweet towards me and I

realized I was in control of who I associated with. It turns out the girl was fully aware I was

Mexican and never isolated herself from me. This experience shows me that other people who

arent two or more races can go through similar feels of inadequacy based on their race.

At times, my racial identity constantly made me feel like I was playing a game I could

never win at. Today, I am proud of how different I am from family and peers. I once asked my

older brother what our lives would be like if my white mother had not married my Mexican

father. He said, Honestly so much would be different. You wouldnt be different as you are

now. You would still be different because everyone is different. Everyone, whether you are

more than two races or not, embodies difference. That is what makes us all beautifuleven if

we had to go through ugly incidents to realize that.

 WORKS CITED

Synonyms of racial in English. Synonyms of racial | Oxford Dictionaries Thesaurus, Oxford

Dictionaries, en.oxforddictionaries.com/thesaurus/racial. Accessed 12 Sept. 2017.

Multiracial in America. Pew Research Centers Social & Demographic Trends Project, 10
June 2015, www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/06/11/multiracial-in-america/ . Accessed 12 Sept.
2017

Lee, Harper. To kill a mocking bird. Recorded Books, 1988.