Running head: YOU: THE TOURIST 1

You: The Tourist:

A Walk through Mental/Developmental Disabilities

Jessica Halley

Chandler-Gilbert Community College

ENG 101
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You woke up today, excited. You are scheduled to be induced at 9:00 A.M with your first

child and all you can think about is bringing him home, teaching him to walk, listening to his

first word, and watching him hit his first home run. You are imagining what he will be when he

grows up; maybe he will be a doctor or a scientist. You have no idea that everything is about to

change, but not the way you have been imagining it.

The doctor tells you that you are going in for an emergency Cesarean section an hour into

being induced. Your son isnt breathing. You cannot imagine what went wrong as everything

was fine up until this point. You start thinking of the worst possible outcome: maybe he isnt

going to make it; except he does and you hadnt thought about what could happen if he did. You

have no idea that everything is about to change, but not the way you have been imaging it.

You are told your son has lost brain function due to not having oxygen flow for a lengthy

period of time and the doctors dont know how severe that may be until hes older. Severe? Lost

brain function? You cannot comprehend everything thats going on. Youre trying to hold it

together while the nurses let you hold your son for the first time, while still trying to understand

what this means for the little 7 pound, 6 ounce baby boy in your arms. This is just the beginning

of a severe cerebral palsy diagnosis, also known as spastic quadriplegia cerebral palsy its the

most severe of the three types of spastic cerebral palsy, marked by the inability to use the legs,

arms and body (Cerebral Palsy Guidance, 2017. Par. 1). You could not have prepared yourself.

Your sons diagnosis falls under the category of being mentally retarded and developmentally

disabled, which is present in about 2 to 3 percent of the population (Daily, Ardinger, Holmes,

2000, par 2).

What do you do now? Your mind is racing back and forth with more questions than

answers. Are you capable of taking care of a child with special needs? Is the house you so
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excitedly set up for him able to accommodate him now? There are case workers coming into

your hospital room asking you questions that youre still trying to find the answers to yourself.

Fortunately, these case workers make you aware of just how many resources are available to you

and your family compiled with the input from many parents, this list includes printed materials,

electronic discussion lists, websites, disability-related conferences and organizations, and

agencies that provide services to individuals with disabilities (Burgstahler, 2017. Par. 4).

Youve spent the last couple of days in the hospital between tests and observations until

finally it is time to go home. The doctors have tried to prepare you as much as they can for the

lifestyle youre about to take on, but youll never be completely ready, for the rest of his life is

going to be a learning experience. Youll go between different medications, various medical

equipment, and multiple in home nurses. Youll lose more nights of sleep than most new moms

do. Youll cry more than you think and want to give up more often than not; but do not feel

guilty over this.

Suddenly one day, it all becomes too much. You decide you need more help and fall back

on the resources the case workers gave you in the hospital, on top of doing your own research.

You look further into the organizations and facilities for kids like yours, kids with developmental

delays and mental handicaps. These facilities range from daycare settings, where you can take a

break for a few hours a day, or facilities where he can permanently live and have around the

clock care by well trained staff and nurses; however, it can take quite a bit of time to be accepted

into either one of these.

A couple days have passed and youve decided to lean towards the live-in facility. You

had no idea that there are more than 200 mental retardation diagnoses, until now. These

diagnoses range tremendously. You also now have an abundant amount of support from all of
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these families with children who fall under this category of illness. This is an immense relief for

you, after feeling like no one understood what you were going through for so long. You no

longer feel alone.

With the help of some of the other families, you decide that placing your son in a 24/7

care facility is the best option, as you have to go back to work to cover the medical bills and even

regain some of your sanity. Dont feel bad for this. You visit four to five times a week and make

sure you are really involved with everything that goes on with him. Youve become involved

with the facility, become an advocate for these children and have become a mentor for other

parents who are just entering this lifestyle change.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into years and you are surprised at how much your son

has grown. Milestones that you had been so eager for before giving birth, suddenly mean that

much more to you. Seeing him smile or hearing him laugh can change any mood you may be in.

You jump and scream in excitement over any movement he may show. You are in awe over the

fact that the one word he has managed to learn is mom. Youve learned that having a disability

doesnt mean completely disabled.

Before going into labor, you never thought this is how your life would have panned out.

The events that have taken place are something you would have never planned for. Nobody does.

You were just another care free, young adult, guilty of judging others with the slightest

differences. Now you have a son to raise, to grow with and to learn with. You have a story to tell

and to educate others on. Mental retardation/developmental disabilities are a scary and difficult

thing for any family to adjust to; however, you now have a life that you couldnt imagine having

any other way. You know that you were hand-picked to be his mother and you dont know what

you did so right, to be so blessed.

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REFERENCE LIST

Ardinger, H., Daily, D., Holmes, G. (200). American Family Physician: Identification and

Evaluation of Mental Retardation (par. 3) Retrieved from

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2000/0215/p1059.html

Burgstahler, S. (2017). National Resources for Parents of Children and Youth with Disabilities.

Retrieved from http://www.washington.edu/doit/national-resources-parents-children-and-

youth-disabilities/

Egan, L. (2017). Cerebral Palsy Guidance: Types of Cerebral Palsy. Spastic quadriplegia.

Retrieved from https://www.cerebralpalsyguidance.com/cerebral-palsy/types/spastic-

quadriplegia/
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