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Cast of Duck Dynasty are
confronted with the Housewives
of New Jersey?
Written by: Kylie Paquin
A shocking encounter between two hit reality
shows has everyone on their toes. Members of the
Dynasty crew were on the set of the Emmy Awards when
Theresa from the Housewives decided to pound on a table
ten times and flip it over. Willie took out his duck call
device and went to town alerting all visitors to stay clear,
there were some Jersey moms on the loose! It was quite a
way to start the night off, I think all the guests' and stars
who attended could certainly agree. Now lets get down
to business about why 10 minutes into the event, a table
was destroyed on the floor. Rumor has it, Willie stepped
on Theresa's brand new "Christian Louboutin" $795
heels. Willie apologized but whispered under his breath.
Theresa couldn't quite make out the words so she called
him out for it. Willie later tried to say that he said nothing
and she flipped at the audacity he must have had to lie
right to her face. Anger fumed and before you know it,
bangs were heard and broken dishes scattered across the
red carpeted floor. Willie's crew had his back and set off
what sounded like 20 duck calls. There you have it, seems
like the show started before it even hit the air!
know your favorite stars!
WHERE IS WILL? By Phyllis Ferraro
Who would have predicted?
Fresh Prince moves in with The
Middle family. Shocker!
Will lived the perfect life over
in Bel-Air living with his Aunt and
Uncle, The Banks. After Will finished
school, the Banks family slowly
declined financially until they had to
sell off everything they had. They
each moved on to other parts of the
country. Will later became friends
with Axel Heck. Axel noticed his
struggle and ask Will to join the Heck
family. He was thrilled with the idea
and moved in. Will had to adjust to
middle class living after living so long
in Bel-Air but he started a book store
business with Brick and started dating
Sue. Will was still on air!

This week on ABCs Agents of
S.H.I.E.L.D., S.H.I.E.L.D.s director is
calling on the expertise of Special agent,
Maxwell Smart also known as agent
number 89. S.H.I.E.L.D. is truly desperate
and they will take anyone after they
suffered losses due to HYDRA, but do they
see whats coming? FIND OUT. Agent
Max has been creating uproar in
S.H.I.E.L.D.s headquarters since he
arrived. First, Max met the team and then
started inspecting their weaponry to make
sure it was all secure. Within 30 minutes
upon arrival, Agent 89 had already blown
a hole in the weapons department using a
lethal shitari gun. wow!
Afterward, Smart went into the lab
and started to ask, Whats all this
computer stuff? Agent Fitz and Agent
Simmons were not at all pleased to have
the special agent in the lab. Join our
exclusive inside look online! Maxwell also
ended up causing a minor fire in the lab by
mixing some chemical compounds and
destroying the labs computers and data.
Now it seems that S.H.I.E.L.D. director
Phil Colson, is appointing Agent Maxwell
Smart as mission leader. With Agent 89 in
charge, one can only hope the team makes
it out in one piece. Who needs to fight the
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agents of Chaos when it is already
accompanying them?
Full House Crew Find Themselves in
Westeros
Written By:
Vanessa
Anguiano
Danny, Stephanie, DJ, Joey, Uncle
Jesse, and little Michelle are in for an
adventure bigger than what they
bargained for! When Uncle Jesse and his
band, The Rippers, were offered to play in
a mysterious, far away land, Uncle Jesse
jumped at the chance and decided to take
his whole family with them.
Unfortunately for the Tanners, this
faraway land was not as luxurious or as
magical as they had hoped. Instead, they
find themselves in the deathly, scary land
of Westeros. The Tanner family have
somehow landed right in the middle of the
battle of the throne in King's Landing and
are now at the mercy of Queen Cersei!
What will be their fate? Will little
Michelle end up at the ruthless hands of
The Mountain? Will Uncle Jesse thwarp
Ser Jaime and woo Cersei? Will Jon Snow
come back and save the day? Only time
will tell but the Tanners need to be
careful: for the night is dark and full of
terrors.
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Unfortunately, time is too quick to good I couldnt help myself...thats what

tell if they have or can make it out. Tune
in to next Sundays paper to find out if they
can make it.
IT NOT ONLY MAKES AN
APPEARANCE IN BOX OFFICES, BUT
ALSO IN THE OFFICE
Written by: Russell Bennett
The infamous clown known for
terrorizing neighborhoods has now been
spotted at a local paper company, Dunder
Mifflin. Since the arrest of the Scranton
Strangler, locals of this charming town in
Pennsylvania have once again been able to
sleep at night. That is, until rumors of this
murderous clown surfaced. Very few
people knew that he was back, just a select
few that have witnessed some clues.
she said. So, I, in fact, thought I might be
hallucinating when I saw the IT clown
outside my window. However, after
further inspection, I determined the clown
to be real and out for blood, reports Mr.
Scott. Assistant to the Regional Manager,
Dwight Schrute, fervently backed up his
bosses claim. If Michael saw It, then It
must be real. After further investigation,
we got the true story. We found some old
face paint from last years Halloween
party. confesses Dunder Mifflin
saleswoman, Pam Halpert. It wasnt going
to be too hard to scare Michael and being
that he just started reading the book, we
knew it would freak him out. Her
husband, Jim Halpert, was reportedly in
on the prank. In conclusion, there is no
need to fear town of Scranton. Once again
just another prank at the office. Sleep at
peace once more. Or...youll float too.

Manager of Dunder Mifflin,

Michael Scott, first reported seeing a
strange man in clown makeup outside his
window holding a single red balloon. After
the recent success of the Stephen King
remake movie, it was suspected that this
clown may be a copycat or radical fan of
the film. The mystery man was said to
resemble the original Tim Curry clown of
the 1990s televised series. It was
terrifying, really. I mean, as a movie buff
and fellow film maker I have already seen
the new film 27 times in theaters. It was so
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The
THE SPELL OF EMMA WATSON
Written By: Daniella Suarez
It has been reported that Emma Watson
has a spell that makes her look younger. The
English actress is 50 years old. But the women
looks half her age! Supposedly the actress has a
similar case as Benjamin Button. Life aging in
reverse? We dont know yet, but it has been
rumored that her character of Hermione Granger
in Harry Potter has a lot to do with this anomaly.
Her fictional role as a wizard with magic spells
turned to be real game. It's still a mystery, but
Dear Watson, can we have some of that spell?
THEY ARE BACK!
Written By: Alejandra Corona
The Little Rascals take off with four
of Dominic Torettos prized vehicles! Love
was the inspiration of this act and led to a
messy complication. Ever since Donna moved
away from town with her parents, Alfalfa
had been scheming to find a way to get to her
as fast as possible. With the help of his
friends from the club house, they planned on
borrowing Dominic Torettos high speed
vehicles. What better way to show up to
Donna then with a powerful v-8 engine
masterpiece? The day the mission initiated,
Butch, Woim, and Waldo had been
eavesdropping on their plan and followed
them.

Initially, the mission was to only take

two vehicles, but when the unexpected
guests appeared it ended up being a total of
four cars. Butch and Woim explained that
they followed Alfalfa and his friends because
Doctor it was the perfect opportunity for a rematch
vs. The race since the last go-kart race. However,
Waldo was solely interested in racing Alfalfa
because if Waldo arrived to Donna before
Alfalfa, he would get a chance to win
Donnas heart back again. Fortunately,
Alfalfa arrived to Donna first with the help of
his teammates and Alfalfa got to spend a
wonderful day with Donna. Dominic
Torettos vehicles were returned, and it is still
Kardashians
being discussed on how their actions will be
prosecuted with the law.
By Melissa Valdovinos

It has been revealed that The Doctor

has landed in California in search of a new
race of aliens that has been living in
California for decades and pose a danger to
the sanity and intelligence of humanity. When
asked who this new alien race is he responded
with, This alien race is known as stone
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carvers or as you Americans like to call when they are causing such damage to
them, "The Kardashians" with that said The humanity. Well that is all for today folks.
Doctor got inside of his TARDIS and left, but Look forward to next week's paper to find
not before giving me some documents of some out about the people who believe that The
cases that prove that humanity is in danger. Doctor is lying about The Kardashians.
One of the reports showed that many people
had been affected already. One of the cases, is
when the United States of America elected a
White Supremacist as their president. In
another case, it showed that people really
believe that global warming is false and that
Las Vegas always gets this amount of rain
every year, because Las Vegas is known as a
wet state people (note the sarcasm).
After reading all the cases it made
sense and a lot of mysteries were solved. I
need more answers, so I waited outside were I
had first meet him to see if he would show up
again. I guess luck was on my side because he
did show up again so I got to ask him a couple
of questions and got answers on how we can
help humanity, this is what he had to say, It
sadness me to say that those affected by The
Kardashians have little to no hope of
recovering from the damage done." He also
said, "I hope that the few undamaged
humans left can keep Earth from being
destroyed. After receiving this news, I also
asked him if he was here to take The
Kardashians away, his response was
Absolutely we cannot just leave them be