Reconciling Dharma and Selfless Love: Lessons from The Ramayana

Ever since civilization began we have been seeking happiness in our personal
lives and harmony in the society around us. But in trying to do so, we
sometimes face a conflict between love and duty, between following the path of
selfless love and devotion (bhakti) and the path of duty based on truth and
righteousness (dharma). All spiritual traditions proclaim the greatness of both
paths. They tell us Love is the Lord of Life; Love is the fulfillment of the law;
Love conquers all. But they also say Truth is the heart of the universe; Truth is
eternal and not subject to time and space; Practicing truth in thought, speech,
and action is the highest dutydharmaand dharma is the only way to eternal
peace and happiness.

In situations in which there seems to be a conflict between these two great

spiritual laws, most of us would be hard-pressed to choose between them.
History is rich with examples of those who have sacrificed their lives for dharma
and those who have sacrificed their lives for the principle of love, even at the
cost of renouncing their dharma. In situations in which there seems to be a
conflict between these two great spiritual laws, most of us would be hard-
pressed to choose between them. The following episode from the Ramayana
shows that it is possible to reconcile the conflict between dharma and selfless
love in a way that deepens our understanding of how to live a happy and
spiritually fruitful life.

Who Is Right?

The story involves two half-brothers, Rama and Bharata, sons of the King of
Ayodhya. Rama is the embodiment of dharma, and Bharata is the embodiment
of devotion and selfless love. As the story begins, King Dasaratha has decided
to abdicate his throne in favor of his eldest son, Rama. But as Ayodhya joyfully
prepares for the coronation, Bharatas mother, Queen Kaikeyi, hatches a plot.
Seeking glory for her own son, Bharata, Kaikeyi goes to the king and asks him
to grant her the two boons he had promised her years ago when she had saved
his life. Trusting her completely, the king agrees to grant anything she wishes.
Then, like one possessed, she orders him to crown Bharata king instead and to
send Rama into exile in the forest for 14 years. According to the law of dharma,
Dasaratha is trapped, for he cannot go back on his word. He begs Kaikeyi to
relent, but she is adamant.

The grief-stricken king sends for Rama. When the prince sees his father in such
a terrible state, he fears that Dasaratha is ill, or worse, that he has done
something to disappoint his father. But when Rama learns what is causing his
fathers anguish, he smiles and cheerfully agrees to relinquish the throne. He
assures the king that there is no need to grieve over such a small matter and
thanks the queen for sending him to the forest, the abode of saints and sages.
Then Rama departs with his wife, Sita, and his brother, Lakshman, who refuse
to stay behind in comfort while Rama wanders in exile. Overcome with grief and
torn by guilt, Dasaratha dies shortly after they leave.

Bharata is absent from Ayodhya when all this transpires. He returns to find the
kingdom in chaos. When he learns the cause, he bitterly disowns his mother,
declaring to the assembled court that he will find Rama and beseech him to
return to his throne. Kaikeyi, jarred to her senses by her sons anger, begs his
forgiveness. Although Bharatas heart remains closed, he does allow his mother
to accompany him to the forest. There Kaikeyi tells Rama that she has
withdrawn her request and pleads with him to return to Ayodhya. Rama greets
her warmly and tells Bharata that he must forgive her, but he refuses to return
dharma dictates that he must fulfill his fathers final order and remain in the
forest while Bharata is crowned king.

Impelled by his great love for Rama, Bharata implores Ramas mother, Queen
Kaushalya, to intercede. She has the power to order her son to return, and
Bharata knows that there is nothing that she wants more. But grieved as she is
by her husbands death and her sons exile, Kaushalyas love for Rama is
boundless and unconditional. She refuses to intervene, telling Bharata, My love
must not be an obstacle to Ramas path of dharma.

Amidst the tumult Ramas father-in-law, King Janaka, arrives. This great sage is
the acknowledged master of dharma; both Rama and Bharata recognize his
love for them, and both respect his sense of justice. So they ask him to decide
who is rightBharata, whose love for Rama will not permit him to keep a
kingdom that rightfully belongs to his brother, or Rama, who believes he must
follow the path of dharma by honoring his fathers word. How is it possible to
decide which is greater? Janaka prays to Lord Shiva for guidance.

The sage carefully weighs both sides of the argument. He praises Rama for a
dedication to dharma so absolute and unswerving that even the gods bow to
him in acknowledgment. He points out that the scriptures say that nothing in the
three worlds is greater than the force of dharma. It is dharma that gives the
world stability, and all are bound by it.

Love is the only force that dharma cannot rule. When love is steadfast and
unselfish, it transcends dharma. And when that love reaches the pinnacle of
true devotion, then God must break His own laws for He is bound to uphold His
devotees honor. Thus, Janaka tells Rama, the purity of Bharatas love
outshines the call of dharma.

Love is the only force that dharma cannot rule.

Those listening to Janakas discourse are overjoyed, imagining Rama
enthroned in Ayodhya. Then the sage changes course by telling Bharata that he
must contemplate the meaning of this. He has won the right to express his love
for his brother. But what is love? Remember, King Janaka reminds him, Love
has its own rulesit makes its own laws. Loves power lies in selflessness.
Selfless love asks for nothing; its only desire is to give to the beloved. Now you
must decide what you want to give to Rama.
Bharata answers that nothing is greater than lifehe will offer his life to Rama.
King Janaka replies, It is easy to die. It is harder to live for those we love. If you
are a true devotee, sit at Ramas feet. Ask him what would please him, and then
grant his wish as your puja (worship).

Bharata realizes his error, and bowing humbly to King Janaka says, You have
lifted the veil of selfishness covering my eyes. Until now I only thought of my
desire to honor Rama. I believed that that was love, but I was wrong. I am
eternally indebted to you. Bharata then turns to Rama and, with folded hands,
waits for his command.

Overwhelmed by the depth of Bharatas devotion, Rama accepts the kingdom

which Bharata wishes him to have. But then, in a stroke of brilliance, he asks
his brother to administer the kingdom on his behalf for the next 14 years so that
he can honor his fathers promise to Kaikeyi. Bharata agrees, asking only for
Ramas sandals so that he can place them on the throne as a royal symbol until
Ramas return. He will watch over the kingdom as Ramas regent.

The Power of Love

There are several versions of the Ramayana, differing subtly as to how this
conflict between devotion and dharma is viewed. One version raises the
question of whether Ramas father had the right to dethrone Rama, who as the
eldest son was entitled to the crown and whose coronation had already been
declared by the royal assembly as well as the king. Ramas father had made
two conflicting promisesthe first to Rama, the second to Kaikeyi. Honoring
either will bring pain to someone, infringing on another great virtue,
nonviolence. In Valmikis version, the sage Jabali advises Rama to disregard
his fathers wishes in favor of a higher goodserving his subjects and claiming
his birthrightfor Ramas departure has caused his father to die of grief and
brought pain to his mother, his brothers, and his subjects. Still another viewpoint
is that Ramas purpose in life (another way to define dharma) was to conquer
Ravana, the king of the demon race, and that Ramas exile was the necessary
catalyst for this dharma to be fulfilled.

The force that compelled Rama to go into exile was the same force that would
not allow Bharata to rest until he restored Rama to the throne.
Dharma is a complex concept, one that can never be understood by those who
insist on a clear, crisp, isolated code of conduct based on the concept of truth
and righteousness alone. After all, it is Ramas love and devotion to his father
that shapes his dharma. The power to sacrifice comfort, wealth, honor, prestige,
and even life itself comes from pure and selfless love. The force that compelled
Rama to go into exile was the same force that would not allow Bharata to rest
until he restored Rama to the throne. Rama and Bharata are both following the
path of selfless love and personal sacrifice. As they march on this path, the dust
rising from their footsteps clouds the vision of those of us who try to see truth
and righteousness in isolation from selfless love.