Status of women in China

Mary,
Good work overall on your rough draft. It is focused and presents interesting and
relevant information regarding gender equality in China. I marked grammar and
content throughout much of your paper. As you revise, proofread carefully for
grammar errors and places where you want to revise the content of your report.
One area of concern is that there are many areas in your paper where you simply
copied from a source and didn't attempt to paraphrase. This is unacceptable and will
result in a failing grade for this assignment if it persists in the final draft.
Remember that whenever you use ideas from other sources, you need to paraphrase
them. If you use direct quotations (the same words, unchanged), you must place them
in quotations to show that you are using the exact words that your source used.
One issue with your use of sources is that you seem to have copied another persons
paraphrase of a source and then cited the original source. In other words, you are
copying secondary sources and citing the primary sources. This is doubly problematic,
since you are in essence taking credit for someone elses paraphrase.
See the Turnitin report on your draft to help you see where this is happening in your
paper. Then, rewrite any sections that have quoted material by paraphrasing, quoting,
and citing the sources.

Commented [jr1]: Good work on your intro- there is a

Introduction
chronological movement that helps organize your writing.

Chinas male preference has a long history. Until at least the 1950s, men offered main

financial support to the family, while women were doing chores at home. The

Commented [jr2]: Mary- This is one of many areas in your

competition for resources was particularly detrimental for girls in large families and
paper that were copied directly from sources, with no effort
made to paraphrase.
usually they didnt have chance to be educated (Wang, 2005). Additionally, the social

safety net for women, such as medical insurance and fringe benefit, was relatively

weak.

Do things change in the 21st century? This report evaluates womens status in China

in the recent 20 years, focusing on economic independence, education and health. In

general, China hasnt achieved gender equality. Despite the fact that women has
reached a much higher status than in the old times, China seems to be stuck on a kind

of plateau where gender inequality remains a thorny problem.

Economic Independence

Although China is the second largest economy in the world, Chinese womens

economic participation and opportunity are much less than mens, and hasnt show

any improvement in the past years. According to the World Economic Forum (2016),

the female/male earning ratio is now about 64.9% and has kept at that level for at least

3 years. This implies that most women earn less than two-thirds of what men earn for

similar work. You may owe this to the so-called low level of womens work.

However, female professional and technical workers is actually about 1.07 times of

male workers ( the World Economic Forum [WEF], 2016). This resonates Fang et

al.s (2012) finding of a noticeable gender disparity in returns to education from

Commented [jr3]: the connection between these elements

19972006, which means that women are making much less while doing as well as
isnt clear.

men. Apparently, theres still a long way to go for Chinese gender equality in the

labor market.

Education

Whats most striking about Chinese gender gap in education is that more women are

enrolling for tertiary education than men - the female/male ratio was 1.16 in 2016,

ranking the first in the world (WEF, 2016). Its a great achievement which will not

only improve womens social status but also benefit their childrens education.
Nevertheless, it was not the case decades ago. Only in recent years has the country

witnessed a dramatic improvements in womens education relative to mens, largely

due to the educational expansion since the 1980s (Hannum, 2005).

Of note is that the tuition fees and other costs of sending a child to college can be 20

or more times higher than per capita income of a family in poverty (Liu et al., 2011),

and its common in China for poor families to sacrifice daughters education because

of the traditional preference for sons (Chan et al., 2002). This can explain the low

Commented [jr4]: Good use of sources here; you

female/male ratio of enrollment for secondary education (WEF, 2016) as its not
synthesize a couple of pieces of data and draw a conclusion.
Well done!
mandatory. In summary, although womens education situation is much better than

before, its now polarized and still needs improving.

Health and longevity

Chinese womens health always ranks low in WEFs reports. Although Chinas

economy has grown extremely fast in the past decades, womens health level hasnt

improved that much. For example, accounting for 29% of the worlds total, 100000

new cervical cancer cases are recorded in China every year (Guo & Lin, 2012). This

may result from the difficulty in providing health care for the large population in

China, especially for women in remote rural areas. Still, its surprising to find that

Chinas gender equality in health always ranks lower than 114 among 144 countries in

the world (WEF, 2016).

 Commented [jr5]: Good work overall on your conclusion.
Conclusion
You echo your main points and broaden the conversation.

Women are no worse than men when it comes to mental power which is more and

more valued in todays world. However, gender inequality still prevails and prevents

women from fulfilling their potential in most part of China. Women are not equally

paid for the same work as men, not given the same opportunity for education and not

Commented [jr6]: This claim would be more strongly

enjoying the same health care. Although some women are able to receive tertiary
supported with one or two more support examples in the
body of your paper.
education, the problem of polarization cant be ignored.
Commented [jr7]: Unclear meaning

Works Cited

Chan, C. L. W., Yip, P. S. F., Ng, E. H. Y., Ho, P. C., Chan, C. H. Y., & Au, J. S. K.

(2002). Gender selection in china: its meanings and implications. Journal of

Assisted Reproduction & Genetics, 19(9), 426.

Fang, H., K. N. Eggleston, J. A. Rizzo, S. Rozelle, & R. J. Zeckhauser. (2012). The

Returns to Education in China: Evidence from the 1986 Compulsory Education

Law. NBER Working Paper, 18189. Retrieved from

http://www.nber.org/papers/w18189

Guo, & Lin. (2012). Women's health in rural china. Fresenius Environmental Bulletin,

25(1).

Hannum, E. (2005). Market transition, educational disparities, and family strategies in

rural china: new evidence on gender stratification and development. Demography,

42(2), 275-299.
Liu, C., Zhang, L., Luo, R., Wang, X., Rozelle, S., & Sharbono, B., et al. (2011).

Early commitment on financial aid and college decision making of poor students:

evidence from a randomized evaluation in rural china. Economics of Education

Review, 30(4), 627-640.

The World Economic Forum. (2016). The Global Gender Gap Report 2016. Retrieved

from http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2016/

Wang, W. (2005). Son preference and educational opportunities of children in china

i wish you were a boy!. Gender Issues, 22(2), 3-30.