Zardoz

1974 (R) 106m. Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling. Written, produced and directed by John
Boorman.

A gigantic stone head floats along a futuristic countryside. I am Zardoz! The gun is good... the penis is
bad! What is this thing intoning nonsense in a booming voice that makes James Earl Jones sound like
Betty Boop? (All the while burping up a cache of riles from it's grimacing maw.) A twenty third century
incarnation of the NRA? Charlton Heston himself?

Kind of. It's God. Maybe. As writer, producer, and director of this misbegotten flick, only John Boorman
can say for sure. Zardoz is awash in allegory, steeped in symbolism, and mired in metaphor. The result is a
Dagwood-sandwich sized parablepretentious as a Moby CD but fun to watch for viewers whose taste
allows for a so bad it's good level of appreciation.

Take a typical post-apocalyptic world, neatly sub-divided into two landscapes: the elite Vortex and the
ruddy Outlands. Roaming the barren landscape on horseback are the savage Brutals who worship the giant
stone god. Here comes Zed, our ponytailed champion (Sean Connery, looking mightily embarrassed in his
costume consisting of a red adult diaper and thigh high Wellington boots). His opponents are the ruling
classskinny, asexual Eternals charged with keeping order in the Outlands. They transform fun-loving
Brutals like Zed into Exterminators. In modern parlance, they screw with the peasants.

As rifle-wielding savages go, Zed is one curious Brutal. Sick of the 'burbs, he stows away in floating
Zardoz's mouth for a Perillo cruise tour of the city. (Apparently, access to the Vortex is so easy that
minimum wage security guards are a concept of the distant past.) He's disappointed to find out that
Eternals are a supercilious and condescending race. The problem with these so-called Eternals is that
immortality breeds boredom. Lacking both a sex drive and procreative powers, they get their kicks by
harassing the less fortunate... like 21st century Republicans graced with psychic powers. Clearly,
Boorman's politically allegorical roadmap leans a little to the left. Zardoz is a Marxist version of Logan's
Run, on LSD.

If the status quo needs upsetting, that hairy, half-naked fish out of water Zed is just the brute for the job.
Are the bored Eternals even grateful for some authentic savage stimulation (even if buried under a thick
Scottish burr)? No! They'd rather telekinetically beat Zed into submission and experiment on his brain. By
now, Zardoz is starting to look like a third season episode of Star Trektossing into the salad little bacon
bits of Jungian psychology, Greek mythology and Socialist philosophy. Will Zed break the bonds of
Eternal boredom, instilling the muse of human purpose and creative thought to this race of silly psychic
effetes? Will Charlotte Rampling perform full frontal with the former James Bond?

Director Boorman hasn't any answers. Even more strange than the film itself is the fact that Boorman
helmed such eminently watchable classics as Deliverance, Excalibur and The General. Well, chalk it up to
the wacky 70swhen the phrase anything goes quickly became everything went.

Steven Austin

(Film review for Videohound's Groovy Movies, Visible Ink Press. Irv Slifkin, Editor)