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Ms Sarah Hutchinson
Southside Physiotherapy Centre
87 Trout street
Carina


Date: 10-04-2008

Re: George Arthur Bacon
Date of Birth: 14-11-1940

Dear Ms Sarah, Comment: Replace with: Dear Ms
Huchinson (if you dont know her)or Dear
Sarah (if she is a well known colleague)
I am writing to refer Mr George for a home visit following left total hip replacement surgery see below for details
on 3/04/2008. He has been on physiotherapy treatment till date and insists on early
Comment: Incorrect title. You have 4
discharge to care for his wife who is suffering with early stage Alzheimers disease. choices, & 1 & 2 are best
1. I am writing to refer Mr Bacon
Mr Georges activities were restricted since last year by grinding pain in the left hip and he 2.I am writing to refer this patient
3.I am writing to refer George
has had difficulty in climbing and descending stairs. Following surgery his X-ray reports are 4.I am writing to refer Mr George Bacon
normal.
Comment: This sounds casual, Replace
His physiotherapy treatment following surgery is as follows: with: since surgery
He is able to walk with a walking frame to the shower, and walks without limp with the aid Comment: Present perfect required here,
of walking stick (07/04/08). He can ascend and descend stairs with the aid of walking stick replace with: have been restricted
For more details follow this link:
and completes exercises regularly which include active hip and knee bending. Yesterday he http://oetonline.com.au/mod/assignment/view.
was educated to do self- exercises, and transport and home help was arranged. This php?id=73
paragraph is a bit repetitive
Comment: An article is required for parts of
Mr George is a retired school teacher. He lives in 10 Foundation street, Carina. the body. For more details follow this link:
http://oetonline.com.au/mod/assignment/view.
His Phone number is 39760753. (subject required) php?id=97

I would like you to continue with his assessment and exercise management. Please do not Comment: You need to add a subject after
hesitate to contact me for further queries. and as it is different to the subject of the first
clause
1. First Clause: Georges activities
Yours Sincerely 2.Second clause: George
See below for more details
Physiotherapist Comment: No apostrophe required, Replace
with: Yours sincerely

The OET centre uses the assessment criteria below when assessing
referral letters
Overall task fulfillment The letter structure is quite good but the information does
not flow smoothly. Refer to the model letter for this task
for an example of how to make your letter more organised.
Word length is better at 179 words.

This resource was developed by OET Online

Website: http://oetonline.com.au Email: oetonline@gmail.com

 OET Online OET Preparation Material

Comprehension of You have included the key points, but the information during
stimulus is not summarised clearly. At times you have written almost
directly from the case notes. Remember the case notes are
in short form and often have verbs and subjects omitted. It
is up to you to put the subjects and verbs in when you
create sentences, and it is much better to summarise the
overall situation rather than lots of specific facts.
Appropriateness of Better paragraphing this time, with a strong introduction.
language However paragraph 3 and the conclusion could be improved.
Refer to the model letter below for this task for an
example of how to do this.

Control of linguistic
features In this letter you made some errors of verb tense, articles
and sentence structure. These are important parts of
referral letters so work hard to gain a good knowledge of
tenses. Refer to the information below, the useful websites
on the course page and the Grammar and Vocabulary Clinic
and study the rules, as you need this knowledge to approach
the exaam with confidence.

Control of presentation A few errors with titles and the closer, otherwise good
features

This resource was developed by OET Online

Website: http://oetonline.com.au Email: oetonline@gmail.com