1

00:01:27,144 --> 00:01:33,316

<i>A Royal wedding ... and austerity Britain
gets a longed-for whiff of glamour as
preparations giving the full swing.</i>

2
00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:38,541
- That's step, mother.
- You didn't say there was a step.
- That it's.

3
00:01:39,022 --> 00:01:42,903
<i>For one happy young couple 1947
will be a year to remember.</i>

4
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:48,283
<i>The official wedding cake seen
here on display depicted scenes
from the life of the royal couple. </i>

5
00:01:48,784 --> 00:01:51,153
<i>Australian "Girl Guides"
provided the ingredients.</i>

6
00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:55,587
<i>Grim faces on Downing Street this week,</i>

7
00:01:55,893 --> 00:01:57,671
<i>when nation's fuel crisis continues,</i>

8
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,096
<i>The Government announces a
further cut in a bacon ration.</i>

9
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:05,953
<i>Your weekly bacon ration
used to look like this ...
Now it's going to look like this.</i>

10
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,746
<i>Another blow for the long-suffering British housewife.</i>

11
00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:13,179
<i>This is one person's rations for a week.</i>

12
00:02:13,584 --> 00:02:17,959
<i>Hardly the fat of the land, but at least
in England it's fair shares for all.</i>
13
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:22,518
<i>In France, with no food in the shops,
the black market flourishes.</i>

14
00:02:23,192 --> 00:02:26,115
<i>This pretty little mademoiselle
seems to be going for a bike ride.</i>

15
00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:30,900
<i>But why the attach case?
Careful with the amazon's fallow nylons!</i>

16
00:02:31,643 --> 00:02:38,824
<i>Taking her bacon here for somebody.
Ah, this is where the attach case comes in.
Mademoiselle gets her bacon from the black market.</i>

17
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:44,362
<i>That's right! Cover it up! We don't
want to know! It's a rotten business!</i>

18
00:02:45,568 --> 00:02:47,786
<i>In France, in any rates, money talks.</i>

19
00:02:48,945 --> 00:02:50,459
Go on mother. Sit on your seat.

20
00:02:51,794 --> 00:02:56,121
- Where?
- Go on! I'm going up.

21
00:03:02,152 --> 00:03:03,323
Oh, mother!

22
00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:54,908
<i>Again, Veronica!</i>

23
00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:01,864
<i>Da capo!</i>

24
00:04:10,388 --> 00:04:11,786
Mother, are you eating?

25
00:04:45,122 --> 00:04:58,882
Hoar, Appleyard, Long, Coddington, Jezzard,
Ibbotson, Starkey, Mrs R. Jack Palmer.

26
00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:03,722
You're younger than I'd been
led to expect ... However ...

27
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:07,267
Mrs Lockwood says she's a new woman.

28
00:05:07,572 --> 00:05:10,350
Have you a newspaper, Mrs Allardyce?
This is a good carpet.

29
00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:14,260
Wholesale from Halifax.
Of course it is.

30
00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:26,241
- Newspaper, Henry.
- It's today's!

31
00:05:26,808 --> 00:05:27,989
And?

32
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,479
- Dickinson...
- Dickinson.

33
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:04,522
- Just ... Give this ... Give you some
support for your calf.
Ah ... Ah ...

34
00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:07,946
- Now ...
- Ah.

35
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,996
My old little man died.

36
00:06:14,532 --> 00:06:17,759
He used to say that a foot
told him more than a face.

37
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:22,769
Well, you've got quite a lot of hard skin ...
And this is a chilblain.
38
00:06:24,078 --> 00:06:25,642
Are you on your feet a great deal?

39
00:06:27,074 --> 00:06:31,692
My husband's an accountant.
It's one function after another.

40
00:06:32,714 --> 00:06:33,339
Brierley.

41
00:06:33,544 --> 00:06:38,044
It wants to be a bit select, Henry.
Their daughter was a GI bride.

42
00:06:38,445 --> 00:06:43,335
Only just. Six months pregnant
when I examined her.
She was a Sunday school teacher.

43
00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:46,788
The state of her private parts
told a different story.

44
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:53,061
Henry, this is royalty!
It's a pure and unspoiled couple.

45
00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,167
Goldman?

46
00:06:59,766 --> 00:07:03,035
- Not on my list.
- They are very well off!

47
00:07:03,045 --> 00:07:10,602
- Well apart from anything else, Henry,
just think what we shall be having to eat.
- Oink, oink.

48
00:07:11,386 --> 00:07:12,679
O-o-oh ...

49
00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:24,301
- Not now, Veronica !
- She's got to practise sometime!
50
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:48,187
Nylons. Henry gets them.
Grateful client.

51
00:07:49,517 --> 00:07:50,815
Bad for the feet.

52
00:07:53,256 --> 00:07:54,598
Good for the morale!

53
00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:57,305
I think we've let some
toenail go on the carpet.

54
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,562
Yes, beg pardon.
It's a bit hand-to-mouth, eh ...

55
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:06,106
- I'll have my own surgery soon.
I've got premises on the Parade.
- Oh, on the Parade.

56
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:09,650
And you're married to
Veronica's piano teacher.

57
00:08:10,151 --> 00:08:11,305
Yes, that's it.

58
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:14,134
You don't wear a ring.

59
00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:20,572
- No, a fine and tiny bits of skin and scurf
from people's feet tend to collect under it.
- Mm.

60
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:27,186
Still a long way to go with those invites.

61
00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:36,150
Have we anything tasty we could
give Dr Swaby for his supper?
You know what he's like.

62
00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:42,974
Ah!

63
00:08:47,179 --> 00:08:48,258
Steak?

64
00:08:54,094 --> 00:08:55,719
Are you not eating that?

65
00:08:57,015 --> 00:09:00,837
They're marzipan!
You don't like marzipan.

66
00:09:39,725 --> 00:09:42,187
<i>I hate Mrs Chilvers !</i>

67
00:09:42,859 --> 00:09:46,495
No, you don't!
This is Mr Chilvers.

68
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:51,135
- Children! You don't have any?
- No.

69
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,442
Very wise!

70
00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:01,466
Hello! ... Hello! ... Hello!

71
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,313
Thank you.

72
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:29,155
Heartbreaking these days, butchering.

73
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:33,749
Meat rations one and ten pence,
what you can do with that?

74
00:10:34,059 --> 00:10:38,732
His stomach's on a knife edge.
And he's the only one who's straight.

75
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:42,567
There's two other butchers and
they are both on the twist.

76
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:47,582
He comes in on a night and sits at
that table and his face is gray.

77
00:10:50,147 --> 00:10:51,928
You've got some nice thick hair.

78
00:11:00,505 --> 00:11:01,570
Gestapo!

79
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:03,994
Blood and sand!

80
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,705
Not down here, you fool!
Get it upstairs!

81
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:38,995
- You! Open this door!
- I can't, I'm chiropodist.
- This is the police. Open this door.

82
00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:44,059
It's a funny lock.

83
00:11:47,917 --> 00:11:50,013
Is there somebody at the door?

84
00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:57,964
One moment.

85
00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:11,449
- Upstairs!
- We live upstairs. The shop is here.
- Upstairs!

86
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,387
Excuse me. This is my house.

87
00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:29,987
- I am on the toilet!
- I can wait.

88
00:12:43,118 --> 00:12:46,723
- What happened to the telephone?
- He's a law unto himself.

89
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,800
Father!

90
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:55,778
Don't get him excited.
He has trouble with his waterworks.

91
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:31,425
- It's not there.
- Come out.

92
00:13:50,895 --> 00:13:54,957
Dear oh dear oh dear oh dear ...

93
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,136
Put a bit of something under that.

94
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,149
The grease'll go all over your uniform.
Your mom'll play pop.

95
00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:01,693
- Mrs Metcalf ...
- What?

96
00:14:02,094 --> 00:14:06,288
- Are you wanting that banana?
- I am, love. I'm planning a trifle.

97
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:26,217
- Your mom feels cold, Dorcas.
- It's not surprising. She died in 1937.

98
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,227
Can you manage that?

99
00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:31,751
Oops. See!

100
00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:35,906
Downstairs!

101
00:14:42,062 --> 00:14:45,180
Pork! In bed!

102
00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:48,888
They need horsewhipping.

103
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,875
We never saw any of it.

104
00:14:52,134 --> 00:14:58,367
When did we last have pork?
And it wasn't clean. I've seen
a cat on that counter.

105
00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:03,334
What d'you think?

106
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:06,653
Suppose that now I've got to start
looking for another butcher.

107
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:13,887
Wash it! It's probably filthy.

108
00:15:14,588 --> 00:15:16,292
What was this meeting about?

109
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:18,714
It's a dinner they are getting
up for the Royal wedding.

110
00:15:19,638 --> 00:15:22,500
- No need to ask if we were invited.
- It's a private partnership.

111
00:15:23,105 --> 00:15:29,633
- Anyway, we don't want to be going to dinners.
What do we want to be going to dinners for?
- To meet people that's what for!

112
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,004
How else are you going to get a movement?

113
00:15:34,794 --> 00:15:38,075
- It's dripping, Gilbert, it's dripping!
- Have I had my tea?

114
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:44,310
- Eat some of your nougat, love.
- She had my sandwiches again today.
- She, Gilbert, she?

115
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:48,975
"She", as you call her, knitted
you a lovely balaclava helmet,
but we don't talk about that!

116
00:15:49,486 --> 00:15:55,768
- It doesn't have an opening for my mouth!
- You don't give me my proper rations.
He has my rations.

117
00:15:58,017 --> 00:16:00,859
- They're having steak for their supper.
- Steak!

118
00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:21,226
He's going to paint the pork.

119
00:16:27,873 --> 00:16:32,752
- We can do that, Mr Wormold.
You've done enough for one day.
- No, this is the part that I enjoy.

120
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:37,323
- "Unfit for a human consumption."
- Why?

121
00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:40,567
Who killed it? ... And where?

122
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:44,526
I used to like painting
when I was a youngster.

123
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,400
My mother wanted me to be an artist.

124
00:16:56,852 --> 00:16:59,010
- What a waste!
- No, no.

125
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,595
No, I'd never have been any good.
126
00:17:18,593 --> 00:17:22,689
Another day?
Nothing from Kuala Lumpur?

127
00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:30,611
Mrs Forbes ... Your information was correct.
You'll be happy to know an arrest was made
and charges are being preferred.

128
00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:45,570
- I am waiting.
- He's just this minute gone.

129
00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:54,405
- O, dear, dear, oh dear ...
No, no, no, no ...
- No, no, no ...

130
00:17:54,968 --> 00:18:00,869
- What's I've told you: I want it prior to painting.
- You don't know what he's like. He's a demon.

131
00:18:01,644 --> 00:18:04,798
- It's dog meat, is this!
- Dog meat is that ...

132
00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:07,695
- We did try.
- We did.

133
00:18:35,686 --> 00:18:37,349
Oh, blood and sand!

134
00:18:50,665 --> 00:18:54,826
- Dog meat is that ...
- Dog meat be buggered.

135
00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,532
Bath.

136
00:19:03,287 --> 00:19:04,300
Bleach.

137
00:19:06,998 --> 00:19:09,235
Brushes. Get scrubbing!

138
00:19:14,101 --> 00:19:19,094
Saw another verruca today.
Gone the wrong way again.
They will hack at them with razor blades.

139
00:19:19,336 --> 00:19:21,602
Don't bring feet to the
table, please, Gilbert !

140
00:19:22,303 --> 00:19:25,439
You've to wait till they come to a head!
Then they're a piece of cake!

141
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:31,742
Still ... Mrs Roach's ingrowing
toenail seems to turn the corner.

142
00:19:32,889 --> 00:19:35,945
Thanked me profusely.
Gave me a macaroon.

143
00:19:37,174 --> 00:19:40,312
A macaroon! ... A macaroon!

144
00:19:41,326 --> 00:19:44,690
- We are better than this, Gilbert.
- Better than what?

145
00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:47,749
Are you not eating your spam?

146
00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:57,573
Listen, Joyce ... once I am in the new
premises on the Parade, it will be different.

147
00:19:57,874 --> 00:20:02,767
They'll be rolling up in their cars, ...
we'll be going out to functions, ...
having steak!

148
00:20:03,288 --> 00:20:07,648
It's not just steak, Gilbert.
It's status!

149
00:20:13,455 --> 00:20:15,730
- How's your steak?
- Just right.
150
00:20:24,685 --> 00:20:29,142
- More sprouts, Dr Swaby?
- No.

151
00:20:32,144 --> 00:20:35,565
Poor Mr Metcalf!
I didn't think he'd go to prison.

152
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:42,968
- You didn't tell me he'd go to prison.
- I don't care who goes to prison,
as long as it keeps Wormold off my back.

153
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:47,365
There's no fun in this for me,
Douglas. It's all one-sided.

154
00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:53,366
- Doris, you've got a magnificent bum!
- I don't know that word.

155
00:20:53,767 --> 00:20:55,455
- Bottom, then.
- That either.

156
00:20:56,128 --> 00:20:57,118
What then?

157
00:20:57,733 --> 00:20:59,328
There isn't a word I do like.

158
00:21:00,405 --> 00:21:02,934
My husband never felt the need to refer to it.

159
00:21:04,192 --> 00:21:09,623
- No news?
- Currants, British Guiana.

160
00:21:10,828 --> 00:21:13,862
Dessicated coconut, Ceylon.

161
00:21:15,134 --> 00:21:18,846
- What's this?
- The Empire. Who's sent
what for the wedding cake.

162
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:27,251
Look, Doris!
Cheek to cheek to cheek.

163
00:21:27,556 --> 00:21:31,883
Oh, you're common, Douglas!
Why can't you just get on with it.

164
00:21:33,061 --> 00:21:40,544
- Wish I had this on my slicer.
Could sell it 15 times over.
- Be sharp. I've Mr Wormold's dinner to get.

165
00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:47,656
Doris, when you see him, just ...
drop a hint about Barraclough.

166
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:52,148
- I'm fed up doing your dirty work, Douglas!
- Go on!

167
00:22:11,733 --> 00:22:16,472
- Is that green?
- Yes, that's spinach.

168
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,240
You've ate spinach.

169
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,361
- So I did.
- Did you enjoy it?

170
00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:28,552
I don't enjoy food, Mrs Forbes.
I have no sense of taste, no sense of smell.

171
00:22:30,176 --> 00:22:32,320
I had German measles as a child.

172
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:37,500
- A little more, Mr Wormold?
- There is no more, Mrs Forbes.

173
00:22:38,836 --> 00:22:41,750
- I've eaten my ration.
- We're only human, Mr Wormold.

174
00:22:42,355 --> 00:22:48,879
My experience has been, Mrs Forbes, that when
people say they're only human it is because they
have been making beasts of themselves.

175
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:52,468
Do you make a beast of yourself, Mrs Forbes?

176
00:22:53,909 --> 00:22:58,385
My husband's missing in Malaya, Mr Wormold.
I live the life of a widow.

177
00:22:58,947 --> 00:23:03,891
- Truly I hope so, Mrs Forbes ... I hope so ...
- I'll get your sweet.

178
00:23:11,442 --> 00:23:12,495
Yes, Mrs Forbes?

179
00:23:17,351 --> 00:23:22,454
I was ... talking to a woman ... who
gets her meat from Mr Barraclough.

180
00:23:22,845 --> 00:23:25,161
She says she gets some lovely stuff, only ...

181
00:23:27,512 --> 00:23:28,872
Only what, Mrs Forbes?

182
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:35,670
Now, she's not always sure she's not eating
something that's run in the two thirty.

183
00:23:36,819 --> 00:23:38,201
Know what I mean?

184
00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:59,902
- I want this out of the house.
Keep it somewhere else!
- Why?

185
00:24:00,413 --> 00:24:01,806
He trusts me.

186
00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:11,583
You'll enjoy that. Come again!
Next, please!
187
00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:29,200
They shaved women's
heads for this in France.

188
00:24:48,417 --> 00:24:52,157
- Right! That's it! Cease trading!
Will you all kindly leave the premises!
- Why?

189
00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:54,701
Horse, madam. Horse!

190
00:24:55,105 --> 00:24:57,928
- Oh!
- I don't mind!
- Out! Everybody out!

191
00:24:59,087 --> 00:25:01,249
Even if you'd only touch that, madam,
and you are an accessory!

192
00:25:01,642 --> 00:25:09,596
- She's 74! Horse!
- Out! Thank you very much.
- Gangway! Gangway! Gangway! Gangway!

193
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,720
We're hungry!

194
00:25:17,821 --> 00:25:19,729
- It is horsemeat!
- They eat it in Belgium.

195
00:25:19,930 --> 00:25:22,312
We're not in Belgium!
They ate rats in Stalingrad!

196
00:25:32,705 --> 00:25:34,223
No question, it's a horse.

197
00:25:35,738 --> 00:25:38,021
These used to be ordinary decent people!

198
00:25:39,058 --> 00:25:42,338
- You see, darling.
- Go, ladies, out, please!
Make way for Inspector.

199
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,424
Should the telephone ring, Dorothy,
and I am seeing a client.

200
00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:32,454
On second thoughts ...

201
00:26:37,982 --> 00:26:39,397
- Mr Chivers ...
- Chilvers.

202
00:26:40,507 --> 00:26:44,317
- Do you think I've got it in the right place?
- Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Best place in town.

203
00:27:01,155 --> 00:27:02,627
Sad about Metcalf.

204
00:27:06,197 --> 00:27:07,772
You'll be the only butcher left soon.

205
00:27:10,241 --> 00:27:11,772
We are all going to watch our step.

206
00:27:13,619 --> 00:27:15,290
Eh ... Mr Lockwood!

207
00:27:30,713 --> 00:27:31,713
Morning, Mr Lockwood.

208
00:27:32,143 --> 00:27:33,893
- My lease ready to sign?
- In due course.

209
00:27:34,298 --> 00:27:37,159
- No difficulty is there?
- Yes, time, it's in short supply!

210
00:27:38,971 --> 00:27:40,995
No, I think you are doing the right thing.

211
00:27:41,589 --> 00:27:46,229
I'll send somebody round for her tomorrow.
Tell her she's going to Bridlington.
212
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:50,543
Grounds there are miraculous.
She'll be very happy.

213
00:27:53,034 --> 00:27:59,119
Wait! Dr Swaby! ... Dr Swaby!

214
00:28:00,155 --> 00:28:01,289
- Oh!
- Look out!

215
00:28:03,151 --> 00:28:06,915
- Oh, my parcel! ... Thank you.
- Oh! Sorry, Dr Swaby, it's you!

216
00:28:16,545 --> 00:28:21,248
- Are we doing wrong, Frank?
- Of course we're doing wrong. It's a crime.

217
00:28:22,964 --> 00:28:24,935
I've never committed a crime before.

218
00:28:25,913 --> 00:28:27,821
Thought you're an accountant.

219
00:28:38,848 --> 00:28:42,860
Fetched her another ginger nut.
Last week's went down so well.

220
00:28:49,841 --> 00:28:50,841
Ready?

221
00:28:55,425 --> 00:28:58,330
I had a little contretemps with
that new chiropodist.

222
00:28:59,339 --> 00:29:04,077
Why we need chiropodists, I don't know.
Something wrong with their feet,
people can come to me!

223
00:29:04,377 --> 00:29:06,477
They'd always find a sympathetic hearing.

224
00:29:36,577 --> 00:29:38,500
We've come to see our friend.

225
00:29:39,939 --> 00:29:44,469
- You want to watch it coming here all
together? It's me who'll cop it!
- Nonsense, Sutcliff!

226
00:29:45,156 --> 00:29:48,431
- I've come to examine your good lady.
- I'm here do draw up your will.

227
00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:53,191
- What are you here for?
- How'd you mean?

228
00:30:13,555 --> 00:30:16,473
- What about the paper?
- She eats paper.

229
00:30:17,655 --> 00:30:20,158
- She'd eat you!
- No-o-o!

230
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:38,461
Betty! ... Betty! ... Where's my Betty?

231
00:30:39,199 --> 00:30:45,575
Here is my Betty!
Hello, my little friend!
Yes, it's your uncle Henry!

232
00:30:45,985 --> 00:30:48,206
- Not much fatter, and it's a bit since we've been.

233
00:30:48,717 --> 00:30:53,144
- She'd put on a couple of stone, only she's gone lame.
- Lame? Oh dear! Oh Betty!

234
00:30:53,449 --> 00:30:55,652
- What she's doing, going lame?
- I don't know.

235
00:30:56,043 --> 00:30:58,225
What? You should know,
the money we pay you.
Get a vet!

236
00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:04,082
- Get a vet? You must be barmy!
That's an unlicensed pig!
- Square him, Sutcliff. We pay you enough. Lame!

237
00:31:04,587 --> 00:31:10,289
Look Betty, just for your poorly foot.
I've got you something. Gingernut!
Yes, we like gingernut!

238
00:31:10,746 --> 00:31:16,293
Yes, there we are!
She likes those, doesn't she?
Yes, it's good, isn't it?

239
00:31:36,959 --> 00:31:38,677
I shall miss her when it comes to the point.

240
00:31:38,882 --> 00:31:40,582
Well, it's coming to the point.

241
00:31:51,957 --> 00:31:53,791
I see he's opening a surgery.

242
00:31:54,137 --> 00:31:58,357
You don't call a flyblown room
where you ... cut toenails, a surgery!

243
00:31:59,696 --> 00:32:02,829
- Where?
- On the Parade. Frank rented him it.

244
00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:07,226
- This is a stab in the back.
- Well, I had it empty, Charles.

245
00:32:08,530 --> 00:32:10,793
Women's feet, Good God, man!

246
00:32:11,999 --> 00:32:14,982
- Taking the bread out of my mouth.
- I didn't think.

247
00:32:15,292 --> 00:32:18,684
You're going to have to think ...
You have to think of a way of getting him out.

248
00:32:19,089 --> 00:32:21,420
- Why?
- I don't like him!

249
00:32:31,956 --> 00:32:33,031
This?

250
00:32:34,109 --> 00:32:35,109
A foot fellow.

251
00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:38,706
Go fetch that lame bugger.

252
00:32:43,453 --> 00:32:45,395
Touch of "Tinea pedis" here.

253
00:32:48,642 --> 00:32:49,870
Athlete's foot.

254
00:32:50,317 --> 00:32:53,023
- Do women get that?
- There's nothing to worry about.

255
00:32:53,764 --> 00:32:56,533
I hear you were there
when the Gestapo arrived.

256
00:32:58,315 --> 00:33:01,226
- Gestapo, Mrs Sutcliff?
- Wormold.
- Oh!

257
00:33:01,610 --> 00:33:05,571
- I am sorry, he made me jump.
- You made him jump, you great puzzock!

258
00:33:06,076 --> 00:33:07,131
Have you got a moment?

259
00:33:12,099 --> 00:33:15,008
He's not done me yet, Bern! Bernard!

260
00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:17,946
Bloody hell!

261
00:33:54,980 --> 00:33:57,854
Here's the culprit! ... Look!

262
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:01,666
- That must to pain you ... pig.
- Bernard!

263
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,491
Bernard! ... It's Wormold.

264
00:34:40,006 --> 00:34:42,837
- I think you've trod in something.
- Sod it.

265
00:35:03,891 --> 00:35:06,642
Sometimes, I wonder what the last war was for.

266
00:35:07,534 --> 00:35:11,032
The people.
That was what it was for, Mr Sutcliff.

267
00:35:11,802 --> 00:35:13,289
Fair shares for all.

268
00:35:20,232 --> 00:35:23,431
Sty specifications, swill schedule,
slaughtering certificates.

269
00:35:23,742 --> 00:35:27,657
You find one wrong pig on this farm,
I'll give you a 100 pound.

270
00:35:27,963 --> 00:35:30,169
If I do, it'll cost you more than that!

271
00:35:32,369 --> 00:35:33,530
I've seen you before!

272
00:35:34,441 --> 00:35:38,043
- How'd you do.
- Yes. You were there the other evening.

273
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:44,174
- You get about.
- I do people's feet.
- U-hu. Maybe you ought to have a look at my feet sometime.

274
00:35:44,779 --> 00:35:45,979
Can you fit me in?

275
00:35:57,288 --> 00:36:00,884
On we go! ...
No rest for the wicked.

276
00:36:37,285 --> 00:36:41,668
Hey! Is that skin?
Put it in pig bucket.
Delicacy!

277
00:36:43,404 --> 00:36:45,855
You want to save all scraps
and peelings and whatnot.

278
00:36:46,465 --> 00:36:48,844
All contributions gratefully received.
How much do we owe you?

279
00:36:49,549 --> 00:36:54,474
- 5 shillings.
- Hey! Soon earned.
Sharper than farming.

280
00:36:59,889 --> 00:37:02,262
- Where's the ham?
- Oh, pissing hell!

281
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,658
What's happened to the fire?

282
00:37:21,235 --> 00:37:24,737
Where shall it be today, mother?
Any preference?

283
00:37:25,801 --> 00:37:28,621
- Where what?
- Our destination!

284
00:37:30,176 --> 00:37:32,689
I thought we might have a
little run into Harrogate.

285
00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,713
- Joyce...
- What, mother?
286
00:37:37,523 --> 00:37:38,863
We're in the garage.

287
00:37:41,407 --> 00:37:46,485
I have to breath, mother.
I have to breath!

288
00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:53,126
- Why doesn't he put the wheels on, Joyce?
- Because we've no coupons.

289
00:37:53,955 --> 00:37:57,785
Gilbert cannot get the juice.
I've got a husband who can't get the juice.

290
00:37:58,090 --> 00:38:04,319
- I don't do a work of national importance.
- Everybody else gets the juice.
Mrs Allardyce gets the juice.

291
00:38:05,476 --> 00:38:08,892
I saw her having a perm yesterday.
Car stood outside.

292
00:38:09,568 --> 00:38:12,627
No doubt, having a perm,
is of national importance.

293
00:38:13,675 --> 00:38:18,875
- What's you're eating, mother?
- Cream cracker.
- Where did you find it ?
- In me cardigan pocket.

294
00:38:19,769 --> 00:38:25,806
Well, get out of the car and eat it.
You know the rules: no crumbs in the car!

295
00:38:32,956 --> 00:38:34,473
He's missed a bit there, Joyce.

296
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,758
You've missed a bit here, Gilbert.

297
00:38:38,506 --> 00:38:39,909
I never have.
298
00:38:40,488 --> 00:38:42,356
I can see my face in that.

299
00:38:46,984 --> 00:38:48,121
So can I.

300
00:38:49,915 --> 00:38:52,153
Line up yout ration books ready, please.

301
00:38:57,180 --> 00:39:00,069
- What can you do for me?
- A nice bit of pork?

302
00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:08,365
- But I've found you a kidney.
- Who's this woman behind me?

303
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:14,852
Busy this morning. Of course it will
be now the other two are closed down.
The chiropodist's wife.

304
00:39:15,588 --> 00:39:18,613
- Veronica's making great strides.
- Really?

305
00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:21,739
How's "The Soldiers' Chorus" coming?
Keeping the fingers bent?

306
00:39:22,349 --> 00:39:29,513
- Gilbert was telling me you'd like us
to save our scraps for your pigs.
- Well, yes, if you've got anything to spare.

307
00:39:30,193 --> 00:39:33,420
Only don't give them anything
you can eat yourself.

308
00:39:36,987 --> 00:39:40,179
- Sorry, hon. I'm run of me feet.
- Oh, no!

309
00:39:52,793 --> 00:39:55,394
Of course pigs will eat rhubarb leaves.

310
00:39:56,180 --> 00:39:59,017
Here, here. It's for the pigs!

311
00:40:02,841 --> 00:40:03,841
And the other.

312
00:40:05,766 --> 00:40:08,246
"Don't give them anything
you could eat yourself."

313
00:40:15,201 --> 00:40:17,834
I'm not having her thinking we
just put rubbish in the bin.

314
00:40:20,254 --> 00:40:24,513
We should have one or two maraschino cherries!
It would show that we had cocktails.

315
00:40:24,842 --> 00:40:26,338
But we don't have cocktails.

316
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,564
I'm carrying you, Gilbert.

317
00:40:37,182 --> 00:40:39,034
Now that, Betty, have you missed me?

318
00:40:39,753 --> 00:40:42,773
Eh, how's your foot? Is it better again?
It is better again, isn't it?

319
00:40:43,279 --> 00:40:47,518
You're champion again, aren't you?
What is it? What? What is it?

320
00:40:49,414 --> 00:40:50,795
Now, ginger nut...

321
00:41:03,125 --> 00:41:06,484
I forgot to give Betty these.
She'd be right downcast!

322
00:41:14,056 --> 00:41:18,790
This is gingernuts in there. And she likes those.
So ... could you give them to her as a whole?

323
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:20,954
I don't like him to seeing you here.

324
00:41:22,031 --> 00:41:24,998
- What? Shit!
- Think he might tipple to it?
- Get in!

325
00:41:34,081 --> 00:41:38,276
Jaunty toenail clipping little sod!
Biking around!

326
00:41:40,663 --> 00:41:45,577
Oh don't grin on me, you, festering,
bunion scrapping, little pillock!
I want him out of that shop!

327
00:41:46,224 --> 00:41:48,693
Frank's got lease type now, it's in the office.

328
00:41:49,845 --> 00:41:52,553
Then what are we waiting for, Henry?

329
00:41:57,735 --> 00:42:01,075
Let's see if I can find jolly little something?

330
00:42:02,684 --> 00:42:04,462
Leg of ham suit you?

331
00:42:53,204 --> 00:42:55,268
I'm going to kill you, pig.

332
00:42:56,647 --> 00:42:58,279
And now take smile off your face.

333
00:43:28,983 --> 00:43:33,639
Are you ... Mind how you do, mother?
They go mad here.

334
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:39,530
- Oh, Gilbert! ...
- We're in!
- But in where?

335
00:43:40,039 --> 00:43:41,975
- Ham! We've joined the club!
- Ham!
336
00:43:42,376 --> 00:43:45,231
- We're on the circuit.
- Ham!
- Have a look!
- Ham? In the street?!

337
00:43:46,108 --> 00:43:49,689
This is just the beginning.
Listen, why don't we splash out?

338
00:43:50,099 --> 00:43:54,147
I've got to call at the surgery.
Why, will you go out to the "Grand"
and order afternoon tea?

339
00:43:54,743 --> 00:43:56,145
You'd like that, wouldn't you, mother?

340
00:44:01,969 --> 00:44:02,969
Hello!

341
00:44:20,743 --> 00:44:26,192
Look, all this has to stay put.
No, don't do that. I'll lock up.
Have you finished? You haven't finished!

342
00:44:29,927 --> 00:44:32,044
I have to ask you for the
keys to this establishment.

343
00:44:33,288 --> 00:44:37,965
- The keys? ... I've got keys.
- I know. I want them.

344
00:44:38,381 --> 00:44:41,863
- Here.
- He's put his foot on my bonnet!

345
00:44:42,186 --> 00:44:48,015
- You're in breach of agreement.
Failure to declare a change of use.
- You're supposed to declare a change of use.

346
00:44:48,616 --> 00:44:50,965
- Take your foot off my bonnet!

347
00:44:51,370 --> 00:44:56,662
- You knew ... You knew what I wanted it for!
- You need a planning permission.
- You can apply for planning permission.

348
00:44:57,166 --> 00:44:59,709
- Who would I apply to?
- Me.

349
00:45:22,392 --> 00:45:24,270
You see - this is where I belong, mother.

350
00:45:25,362 --> 00:45:31,865
Put me in a long frock.
Surround me with sophisticated people.
I'd bloom ...

351
00:45:33,217 --> 00:45:35,472
You should have married a sanitary engineer.

352
00:45:36,073 --> 00:45:42,439
Still, when Gilbert gets his surgery, going on the
Parade will be in the forefront of this town.

353
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:44,967
This is just the beginning.

354
00:45:45,689 --> 00:45:50,544
Ham, eggs ... stuff under the counter ...
It'll all come! You'll see.

355
00:45:52,180 --> 00:45:56,824
- It's a bit of scrag end!
- Excuse me, madam!

356
00:45:57,689 --> 00:46:01,191
Patrons are not permitted to consume
their own food on the premises.

357
00:46:10,588 --> 00:46:14,646
- What he's carrying?
- Looks like a foot.
- That's a foot.

358
00:46:17,944 --> 00:46:22,359
- Are you deliberately trying to humiliate me?
- I've got something that'll humiliate you more.
359
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:33,678
- We've been thrown of the Parade.
- This town! These people! They are going
to have to be made to sit up and make notice.

360
00:46:34,179 --> 00:46:35,917
They are going to have to be
made to realize who we are.

361
00:46:36,422 --> 00:46:38,437
My father had a chain of dry cleaners!

362
00:46:38,638 --> 00:46:43,183
We regularly used to take wine with
the meal as mother well knows.
Telling us what we can and what we cannot do!

363
00:46:43,788 --> 00:46:48,951
My father wore a carnation in his
buttonhole every day of his life.
Gilbert, lend me threepence.

364
00:46:50,301 --> 00:46:52,588
I want a future that will live up to my past.

365
00:46:53,604 --> 00:46:57,280
Only when is it going to start?
That's what I want to know.

366
00:46:57,644 --> 00:47:00,172
These are having cream cakes!

367
00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:17,288
- Porter!
- No, no, mind you, mother, come on.
- Porter, take these bags to the room 321.
- She is 74.

368
00:47:19,115 --> 00:47:26,729
- "Melon surprise", "Moules Nioise", "Porc Royale"...
- Oh!
- Breaks your heart.

369
00:47:27,589 --> 00:47:30,289
- Listen! I've had just about enough.

370
00:47:31,233 --> 00:47:33,144
If you want roast pork,
we can have roast pork.

371
00:47:33,891 --> 00:47:38,160
We can have it next Sunday if you want.
And the Sunday after that.
And the Monday and the Tuesday.

372
00:47:39,011 --> 00:47:43,241
You can have pork till you're blue in the face.
You could be fed up of pork. "Porc Royale"!

373
00:47:44,469 --> 00:47:49,944
And you ... You can have bacon,
ham, sausage, pork pies, tripe,
pig's feet, liver, kidneys.

374
00:47:51,345 --> 00:47:53,232
You can pig yourself on
pork if you want, just ...

375
00:47:53,443 --> 00:47:57,268
Take no notice, oh, my mother.
He's out to torment you!

376
00:47:58,472 --> 00:48:02,305
- I mean it. We could ... We can!
- How? How?

377
00:48:03,462 --> 00:48:04,823
Steal a pig!

378
00:48:05,850 --> 00:48:11,376
- What did you say?
- Nothing ... Let's go.
- Steal a pig ...

379
00:48:15,717 --> 00:48:19,400
Veronica! Go on in and start your piece!

380
00:48:33,172 --> 00:48:35,005
Good job I put my foot down about children.

381
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,655
- Why bring that up?
- Well, we wouldn't have had room, would we?

382
00:48:40,494 --> 00:48:41,706
Steal a pig!

383
00:48:42,007 --> 00:48:46,118
It's not as if there are pigs to steal.
If there were pigs to steal, the butchers
would steal them, wouldn't they?

384
00:48:46,528 --> 00:48:51,410
Oh, it's you all over! All talk, promises.
You were going to take this town, Gilbert.

385
00:48:51,754 --> 00:48:54,357
Listen! This morning I went up to Sutcliff's farm.

386
00:49:04,844 --> 00:49:09,568
Da capo, Veronica!
And a little more mezzo forte.

387
00:49:16,225 --> 00:49:19,124
- Whose pig is it?
- It'll belong to them at the farm.

388
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:23,136
Oh, shouldn't have mentioned it!

389
00:49:25,765 --> 00:49:28,842
- It's illegal!
- It wouldn't be illegal!

390
00:49:29,945 --> 00:49:33,897
Why is it illegal?
A black market pig's illegal!

391
00:49:34,408 --> 00:49:37,885
- Anyway, we've no means of transport.
- We've got the car!

392
00:49:38,590 --> 00:49:42,104
- It's on blocks!
- Well, get it off the blocks!
- And put a pig in it?

393
00:49:43,115 --> 00:49:45,617
"No crumbs in the car, Gilbert!
No cake on the seat!"

394
00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:50,100
- A pig in the car!
- Why, I could put some paper down.

395
00:49:50,610 --> 00:49:52,333
This is an emergency!

396
00:49:54,045 --> 00:49:55,543
No, let's sleep on it.

397
00:50:00,953 --> 00:50:04,509
What's put this into your head, all of
a sudden? ... Tomorrow's a working day.

398
00:50:16,985 --> 00:50:20,086
- Do you know how to do it?
- Well, I've done that before.
- Aye, and a right mess you made of it.

399
00:50:20,802 --> 00:50:22,564
- I want to be there.
- You can watch.

400
00:50:23,069 --> 00:50:27,216
Only it's not going to be stuck today.
We'll have to wait till it gets better. Them ...

401
00:50:28,068 --> 00:50:31,307
- Them rats wouldn't have upset it, would they, Preston?
- No, it's had rats before.

402
00:50:31,712 --> 00:50:36,266
It's what I say then.
Rhubarb leaves always means the squits.

403
00:50:36,471 --> 00:50:37,746
You ought to know that, Preston!

404
00:50:48,196 --> 00:50:49,261
Rhubarb leaves.

405
00:50:49,766 --> 00:50:54,862
- I knew it wasn't rats.
- Rats! You've never been giving her rats?
- No! Scraps.

406
00:51:00,198 --> 00:51:03,550
- Could you not give her something, Charles?
You're the doctor.
- Thank you.

407
00:51:03,951 --> 00:51:06,497
This is a pig! Not a person.
You want a vet.

408
00:51:06,898 --> 00:51:09,535
- But the principle must be the same.
- How'd you know?

409
00:51:09,740 --> 00:51:14,483
- Take a bit of weight, tough her.
Diarrhea always does.
- Now, are you the doctor now?

410
00:51:14,684 --> 00:51:18,590
I am not a doctor, Charles, but my
wife has two topics of conversation.

411
00:51:18,791 --> 00:51:21,384
One is the Royal family,
the other is her bowels.

412
00:51:21,685 --> 00:51:25,766
- Why not kill it now?
- No!
- I'm not having this joker in my fridge a minute longer than I have to.

413
00:51:26,159 --> 00:51:30,301
- I've fetched me tackle ...
I'll kill it in a day or two.
- Oh, the dinner is on Thursday.

414
00:51:41,699 --> 00:51:45,094
All this time ...
I didn't even know if I'll go!

415
00:51:45,638 --> 00:51:48,849
Over here! ... Over here!

416
00:51:55,853 --> 00:51:57,822
This was going to take us to Scarborough.

417
00:51:58,032 --> 00:52:03,043
Scarborough!
It'll take us further than Scarborough.
It will take us to the top in this town!

418
00:52:03,964 --> 00:52:08,823
They'll be lining up, wanting
to get to know us then.
Dr Swaby, Mrs Allardyce...

419
00:52:09,539 --> 00:52:12,922
Oh, yes! ... And I'll give them cocktails...

420
00:52:13,612 --> 00:52:18,257
And we'll nibble at those
refined little sausages before
going in to sumptuous meal.

421
00:52:20,024 --> 00:52:22,964
It's not just pork, Gilbert, it's power!

422
00:52:28,452 --> 00:52:29,734
Better get her out of the way.

423
00:52:33,903 --> 00:52:38,521
Wake up, mother.
It's time you were in bed.
No, no, mother, no. Naughty!

424
00:52:44,290 --> 00:52:46,928
Goodbye ! ... Good luck!

425
00:52:47,868 --> 00:52:50,006
When did you start all this kissing?

426
00:52:51,695 --> 00:52:56,207
- Gilbert! ... Gilbert!
- What?
- I hope it's a clean one.

427
00:53:04,265 --> 00:53:05,814
Is the sweep coming?

428
00:53:25,325 --> 00:53:27,882
You ought to go and see how
that pig is going on, Preston.

429
00:53:32,599 --> 00:53:34,205
We are going to go for a little walk, pig.
430
00:53:36,249 --> 00:53:37,550
Look ...

431
00:53:39,092 --> 00:53:58,899
Over here ... Yes ... Yes, pig ...
Yes, pig ... Come on ... Come on, pig ...
Yes! Come on ... Come on ... Come on ...

432
00:54:05,207 --> 00:54:07,123
<i>... high overtime ...</i>
I miss the war.

433
00:54:10,862 --> 00:54:13,358
Go on, Preston!
You reckon to be I/C (In Charge?) pig.

434
00:55:23,124 --> 00:55:24,206
Preston!

435
00:55:39,964 --> 00:55:42,158
It's off its paper, Gilbert!
It's off its paper!

436
00:55:42,564 --> 00:55:45,583
- It won't know to stay on it.
- Well, fetch, fetch some more paper, then.

437
00:55:49,342 --> 00:55:52,272
Oh, Gilbert, Gilbert, quick!
Quick, it's doing its business!

438
00:55:53,069 --> 00:55:54,562
It's a nervous pig.

439
00:55:54,886 --> 00:55:56,786
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Oh shit!

440
00:55:58,972 --> 00:56:04,083
I don't want my mother smelling it.
Oh, oh! I cannot, cannot stand it.

441
00:56:04,533 --> 00:56:07,114
- Oh, you have to do with it now.
- What?
- Kill it!
442
00:56:08,691 --> 00:56:13,165
- I had a mind to do it in the kitchen.
- I hadn't.

443
00:56:15,568 --> 00:56:20,576
- I wanted to call it something.
- Why? Why? Why, you're going to kill it, Gilbert.
You're going to slit its throat.

444
00:56:22,086 --> 00:56:27,175
- Couldn't you get fond of it?
- I could not, messing all up and down.
- Your mother does.

445
00:56:27,686 --> 00:56:29,107
I didn't hear that, Gilbert.

446
00:56:30,288 --> 00:56:33,176
Oh, I can't stand this!
Look at the floor!

447
00:56:33,757 --> 00:56:36,441
Oh, I was quite right not to want
kiddies, if this is what it's like.

448
00:56:36,746 --> 00:56:40,305
- Oh, kill it, Gilbert!
- I've never killed anything in my life.
- You should've thought about that before!

449
00:56:40,716 --> 00:56:43,759
- Whose idea was it?
- Yours. Who did you think was going to kill it?

450
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,512
- I thought I could ask somebody.
- Ask somebody? Ask? This is a crime!

451
00:56:49,313 --> 00:56:50,374
But what do I do it with?

452
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:55,078
- Oh, with one of your feet knives.
They're precision tools.
- Not for pigs.

453
00:56:55,411 --> 00:56:56,867
Listen, Gilbert Chilvers!

454
00:56:57,468 --> 00:57:02,972
This country has just emerged from a second
world war, a war when millions of people died,
most of them killed by their fellow men.

455
00:57:03,277 --> 00:57:07,581
- Not with chiropodist tools.
- It's not the tools, it's the will.

456
00:57:08,221 --> 00:57:11,852
It's doing its business again!
Oh, trust you to pick one with diarrhea!

457
00:57:12,373 --> 00:57:14,156
Strange place, strange people.

458
00:57:15,762 --> 00:57:19,229
You can understand it.
We ought to let it settle down.

459
00:57:19,721 --> 00:57:21,003
Settle down!?

460
00:57:22,855 --> 00:57:23,836
Kill it!

461
00:57:25,337 --> 00:57:26,424
With this?

462
00:57:31,599 --> 00:57:36,094
- Joyce!
- What?
- Can you smell a smell? I can smell a smell?

463
00:57:36,611 --> 00:57:42,233
- No, there's no smell, mother.
No, you're imagining things.
- I wondered if it was me.
- I can't do it.

464
00:57:43,034 --> 00:57:50,305
- It's him! He smells, Joyce!
- He does not smell, mother. Go to bed!
- He does smell, Joyce.
465
00:58:03,330 --> 00:58:04,357
Oh, my God!

466
00:58:07,008 --> 00:58:10,370
- That bowl was a wedding present!
- Well, it's not to know that.

467
00:58:20,121 --> 00:58:22,469
Another parcel in the umbrella stand.

468
00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:28,756
Maybe we could put it to sleep.

469
00:58:31,764 --> 00:58:46,276
Here we are! Here we are!
This way! Come on. This way!
Here we are. This way. Come on. Oh!
Nice. Nice! Isn't that one nice. Come on.

470
00:59:18,834 --> 00:59:20,210
Joyce !

471
00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:24,331
- What?
- I think it's gas.
- No, no.

472
00:59:25,041 --> 00:59:29,003
- I can smell gas.
- Go to bed!
- It's past your bedtime.

473
00:59:35,297 --> 00:59:37,882
Mr Turnbull thought he could smell gas.

474
00:59:38,264 --> 00:59:42,122
It's Mother. She turned it on and
never lit it. She's getting like that.

475
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:52,759
Ah ... So long as we know. You ... You don't
think it could smell something besides?
I ... I don't know. A bit ... of a sickly smell.

476
00:59:53,088 --> 00:59:56,513
It's mother again.
She's had a bit of a do with her tummy.
477
00:59:56,814 --> 01:00:03,186
- Keeps bringing stuff back.
- Oh ... Bless her.

478
01:00:09,532 --> 01:00:10,903
Did he go off?

479
01:00:24,898 --> 01:00:28,806
- Could we poison it?
- If we poison it, we can't eat it.

480
01:00:32,521 --> 01:00:36,348
- I think we would have to take professional advice.
- What about? Me?

481
01:00:36,753 --> 01:00:40,795
- Joyce!
- What?
- You don't go calling Dr Swaby? He'll put me away.

482
01:00:41,077 --> 01:00:46,484
- We're going to have to tell her.
Come down, mother.
- You just told me to go up.
- No, come down, mother!

483
01:00:52,433 --> 01:00:55,866
- I can still smell that smell.
- Never mind, never mind the smell, mother.

484
01:00:56,171 --> 01:00:58,601
Sit down!
I've got something to tell you.

485
01:00:58,806 --> 01:01:02,061
- Sure it's not me?
- No, no, mother, love, no, it's not you.

486
01:01:02,726 --> 01:01:07,071
Listen, mother, love.
I've got something to tell you.
We've got a pig in the house.

487
01:01:08,143 --> 01:01:10,192
Do you understand, mother?
A pig!
488
01:01:11,391 --> 01:01:14,768
- What sort of the pig?
- A pig, mother, a proper pig.

489
01:01:14,973 --> 01:01:17,476
- Do you want to put me in a home?
- Oh!
- Shut up!

490
01:01:17,958 --> 01:01:20,683
- I didn't say anything.
- Dr Swaby put Mrs Beevers away.

491
01:01:20,988 --> 01:01:25,340
He asked her the name of the prime
minister, she didn't know and he
carted her off to Low Moor.

492
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,662
He wants my room!

493
01:01:28,288 --> 01:01:32,897
We don't want your room.
Why to say there's pig in the house
mean we want your room?

494
01:01:33,502 --> 01:01:35,900
Leave this to me please, Gilbert.
This is my mother!

495
01:01:36,843 --> 01:01:45,889
It's not like Mrs Beevers, love.
Mrs Beevers imagined things.
That's why Dr Swaby sent her away.
You don't imagine things.
It's just there's a pig in the house.

496
01:01:46,552 --> 01:01:49,659
It's so's if you catch a glimpse of it,
you won't think you're going bananas.

497
01:01:49,970 --> 01:01:54,062
- Though she is going bananas.
- No, she wouldn't think she was going bananas
if you pulled your socks up and slit it's throat.

498
01:01:54,277 --> 01:02:01,457
- What's these bananas? I could eat a banana.
- There are no bananas. There's a pig.
There are no bananas.
- Gilbert!

499
01:02:02,525 --> 01:02:07,186
Forget the bananas, love!
There aren't any bananas,
but there is a pig.

500
01:02:07,916 --> 01:02:10,998
- Only tell her, if anybody comes
round there isn't a pig.
- That's right.

501
01:02:11,703 --> 01:02:15,468
But if anybody should come, no pig.
With us, a pig.

502
01:02:15,826 --> 01:02:20,620
- With anybody else, no pig.
- Who's going to come? Is it Dr Swaby?
He came to Mrs Beevers.

503
01:02:20,900 --> 01:02:31,362
- No, love, nobody's going to come, Dr Swaby,
nobody. But if anybody should come, no pig!
- He told her she should go to Bridlington,
and she ended up in Low Moor.

504
01:02:32,352 --> 01:02:33,516
It was her house!

505
01:02:33,721 --> 01:02:42,831
Nobody is going to send you to
Dr Swaby, nobody. We love you,
send you away. It's just we're
situation where there is a pig
Low Moor, mother.
Mother. We wouldn't
in this rather unusual
in the house.

506
01:02:43,175 --> 01:02:47,075
- Show her it!
- I will not show her it!
She's 74 and it's past her bedtime.

507
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,576
Come on, mother!
Up to bed. With any luck ...

508
01:02:51,487 --> 01:02:53,858
In the morning all this will seem like a bad dream.
509
01:03:13,021 --> 01:03:14,096
Joyce !

510
01:03:17,044 --> 01:03:19,291
- Joyce !
- Have you done it?

511
01:03:36,367 --> 01:03:38,541
Betty, Betty, Betty...

512
01:03:40,342 --> 01:03:43,435
- We are going to look that silly.
- Silly? We're finished!

513
01:03:43,636 --> 01:03:45,649
We spent a lot of money on that pig, Howard!

514
01:03:46,060 --> 01:03:47,678
It's my understanding, it doesn't exist.

515
01:03:48,083 --> 01:03:51,793
Well, you'll wish it existed on Thursday,
when you're sitting down to a scrutty bit
of lettuce and tomato.

516
01:03:52,098 --> 01:04:01,134
- But why can't he slaughter one of his other pigs?
- Because, clown, the other pigs are all licensed and listed!
- Steady, Charles, I'm still a police officer.
- But you're not behaving like one.

517
01:04:01,589 --> 01:04:03,889
Then I'll sniff around.
Sniff around?

518
01:04:04,305 --> 01:04:07,905
It will be the other side of the Pennines by now,
sold to the Jewboys in Manchester.

519
01:04:08,287 --> 01:04:10,818
- Pork?
- Pork, nylons, anything.

520
01:04:11,364 --> 01:04:13,418
I don't know what the last war was about!
521
01:04:15,284 --> 01:04:18,323
- Well, how to kill it?
- That's what we want.
- Does it say?

522
01:04:18,833 --> 01:04:19,851
It doesn't say.

523
01:04:20,370 --> 01:04:22,472
Well, you just have to improvise.

524
01:04:34,857 --> 01:04:36,963
No pig, no pig.

525
01:04:39,123 --> 01:04:41,007
Come on in, Veronica.

526
01:04:42,246 --> 01:04:45,797
- She's 74 ...
- Come in, Mr Wormold.

527
01:04:54,472 --> 01:04:55,838
Your house smells!

528
01:04:57,106 --> 01:05:03,019
- Our house doesn't smell. Poor people smell.
- It's mother. She's getting a bit careless.

529
01:05:03,707 --> 01:05:07,125
I can't smell anything.
But then I can't smell anything.

530
01:05:07,935 --> 01:05:09,395
German measles.

531
01:05:16,054 --> 01:05:19,094
You've perfect feet.
I don't know why you've come.

532
01:05:53,500 --> 01:05:58,800
- Ah!
- Sorry! ... Sorry.
- A pig! A pig!

533
01:05:59,362 --> 01:06:05,454
Don't be silly, there's no pigs here! The idea!
Da capo, Veronica! Come on! Da capo!

534
01:06:12,939 --> 01:06:14,195
Do you think he noticed anything?

535
01:06:29,806 --> 01:06:30,891
Thought so.

536
01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:41,853
There must be easier ways of
getting roast pork than this.

537
01:06:42,704 --> 01:06:44,958
- Take your clothes off!
- What?

538
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,747
Strip. There'll be blood.

539
01:06:47,304 --> 01:06:51,754
- Joyce!
- Come on ... It's got beyond roast
pork now, Gilbert, it's self-respect!

540
01:06:52,070 --> 01:06:56,241
It's that we grow as people or just
go on as we were with going on.
Got be sharp!

541
01:06:56,554 --> 01:07:02,266
- Joyce...
- Our marriage is in a corner! I want to pull
down the walls. I want us to be free with you!

542
01:07:04,021 --> 01:07:07,913
- Kill it!
- She is my friend!
- Kill her! Kill your friend!

543
01:07:46,828 --> 01:07:50,728
Do it for me!
Go on, Gilbert, go on, go on, now!

544
01:08:06,651 --> 01:08:11,720
- Joyce...
- Oh, my darling!
- I've cut my finger.
545
01:08:17,097 --> 01:08:20,191
Coward! Yellow!
You're yellow, Gilbert Chilvers!

546
01:08:20,884 --> 01:08:25,343
- Joyce ...
- A pathetic cringing nancy!
Don't you touch me!

547
01:08:26,126 --> 01:08:29,186
- Where are you going?
- For a drink!

548
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:33,798
- I'll have a drink, then I'll be able to do it.
- You won't! I should have married a man.

549
01:08:34,008 --> 01:08:36,662
- Well, I promise!
- Nancy!

550
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:45,117
Oh, Mr Wormold!

551
01:08:46,075 --> 01:08:50,162
What are you doing sitting in the dark?
Put the fire on!

552
01:08:50,517 --> 01:08:55,257
- We've been asked to save power.
- You are a model, Mr Wormold.

553
01:08:56,190 --> 01:08:59,360
- Stop in tonight.
- We must catch the killer.

554
01:08:59,751 --> 01:09:01,670
The man who butchers the pigs.

555
01:09:02,942 --> 01:09:06,540
- He doesn't have to be a butcher...
- Who knows?

556
01:09:11,024 --> 01:09:14,424
- What? ...
- You've not been crying?
557
01:09:19,544 --> 01:09:24,078
A hundred and fifty people.
One hundred and fifty people.

558
01:09:24,483 --> 01:09:30,246
It'll be in the papers, of course.
They'll jump on it.
"Leading lights in dinner fiasco."

559
01:09:30,590 --> 01:09:35,354
Of course, practical socialism.
That's what it's going to be like now.

560
01:09:36,547 --> 01:09:39,970
What's yours is mine.
Excuse me, while I help myself.

561
01:09:40,275 --> 01:09:42,831
I'd have them bastinadoed.
I'd flay them alive.

562
01:09:43,226 --> 01:09:46,787
- What about some tinned salmon?
- Tinned salmon?

563
01:09:47,585 --> 01:09:56,941
Tinned salmon. I've got the North-Western area
president of "The Prudential Building Society" coming.
You don't offer Arthur Cunliffe tinned salmon.

564
01:09:57,611 --> 01:10:00,567
"Civic Row Over the Paltry Fare".

565
01:10:01,331 --> 01:10:08,309
- I've been trying to put me hands on a couple
of chicken. People I've dealt with for years...
- I'm not surprised! I'm not surprised at all.

566
01:10:10,411 --> 01:10:13,373
God! What a nasty, piss-stained
little country this is.

567
01:10:13,779 --> 01:10:24,205
It's like this new Health Service. Do you realise
that any little poorly pillock is now going
to be able to knock on my door and say:
"I am ill. Treat me." Anybody! Me!
568
01:10:25,212 --> 01:10:27,216
I can put my hands on two turkeys in Bradford.

569
01:10:27,670 --> 01:10:29,615
Two? Two?

570
01:10:29,891 --> 01:10:34,978
We have got one hundred and fifty people
coming, and Jesus isn't one of them!

571
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:37,090
Two turkeys in Bradford...

572
01:10:38,405 --> 01:10:44,067
Five years of war and that's what it's
come to: two turkeys in Bradford.

573
01:10:44,477 --> 01:10:48,136
Well, do you want them or don't you?
I've got them on the phone.

574
01:10:57,527 --> 01:10:59,947
Look at him ... that foot fellow.

575
01:11:02,135 --> 01:11:06,410
We're finished, you and me, Lockwood.
That's what's coming to the top: the scum.

576
01:11:07,215 --> 01:11:12,668
- No class, ... no breeding, ... no morals ...
- No pig.

577
01:11:13,544 --> 01:11:15,588
I give this country 5 years.

578
01:11:48,550 --> 01:11:53,757
- It smells at piano.
- Well, they don't have as much money as we do.

579
01:11:54,708 --> 01:11:56,373
They've got a pig.

580
01:11:58,642 --> 01:12:01,866
- They're not the only ones.
- I saw it.
581
01:12:03,043 --> 01:12:07,768
- Walking about the house.
- Don't tell stories, or you'll get a big nose.

582
01:12:08,507 --> 01:12:10,276
- Bedtime!
- Shall I kiss Daddy?

583
01:12:11,973 --> 01:12:13,267
Please yourself.

584
01:12:15,752 --> 01:12:19,080
I did see a pig! It was all stinky.

585
01:12:21,947 --> 01:12:23,569
Veronica!

586
01:12:27,957 --> 01:12:29,027
Joyce...

587
01:12:32,009 --> 01:12:35,621
- I want to use the toilet.
- You can't. Go somewhere else.

588
01:12:36,129 --> 01:12:37,799
- Where ?
- Anywhere!

589
01:12:40,983 --> 01:12:42,135
Stay here!

590
01:12:54,933 --> 01:12:56,024
Henry!

591
01:13:00,648 --> 01:13:01,748
Henry!

592
01:13:40,104 --> 01:13:41,158
Drink!

593
01:13:43,202 --> 01:13:46,119
- Me?
- My birthday this year.

594
01:13:47,523 --> 01:13:49,088
No. I'm due back.

595
01:14:00,011 --> 01:14:02,116
- Been round the farms?
- Farms?

596
01:14:02,321 --> 01:14:05,131
- You smell a bit rustic.
- Pigs, I'd have said.

597
01:14:07,055 --> 01:14:08,519
I've got to go to the toilet.

598
01:14:38,979 --> 01:14:42,284
- How much do you want?
- I beg your pardon?

599
01:14:43,856 --> 01:14:47,844
You've got something ... we want.

600
01:14:49,466 --> 01:14:53,651
Something ... that belongs to us.

601
01:14:55,702 --> 01:14:59,998
Something ... with four legs.

602
01:15:01,187 --> 01:15:07,347
And a little ... curly ... tail.

603
01:15:14,799 --> 01:15:16,218
Shall we adjourn?

604
01:15:23,786 --> 01:15:25,789
Hang on. I haven't been.

605
01:16:26,754 --> 01:16:29,242
Don't move. I've got it cornered.

606
01:16:30,643 --> 01:16:33,439
- Out of my way, nancy!
- They're downstairs,

607
01:16:33,944 --> 01:16:41,875
- Dr Swaby, Mr Lockwood...
- Downstairs? I'm not dressed!
- It's their pig. We stole their pig.
608
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:48,078
- Their pig?
- We stole their pig.
- We? You!

609
01:16:48,622 --> 01:16:53,350
Betty! ... Who is this, then, Betty?

610
01:16:58,947 --> 01:17:00,450
Betty...

611
01:17:00,955 --> 01:17:05,991
- It was stashed. Whoever it belonged to, it was theft.
- You're a professional man.
You've got letters after your name!

612
01:17:06,424 --> 01:17:10,220
- We were hungry.
- Hungry? Nobody's hungry.
Who's hungry? Who's your butcher?

613
01:17:10,425 --> 01:17:11,999
I can't satisfy everybody.

614
01:17:15,569 --> 01:17:17,640
She is in very good condition.

615
01:17:21,112 --> 01:17:23,628
- Did she have a little bit of tummy upset?
- Yes.

616
01:17:23,985 --> 01:17:28,396
The important thing is:
the property has been recovered.
The status quo has been restored.

617
01:17:28,801 --> 01:17:30,612
You are happy, the police are happy ...

618
01:17:31,017 --> 01:17:35,003
- It's all been a big mistake.
- Mistake? I want this man crucified!

619
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:43,320
- You crucify him, Wormold crucifies you...
- He's got us by the scrotum.
620
01:17:43,593 --> 01:17:48,435
- Did she take to you?
I found her very affectionate.
- Yes, yes, I did too.

621
01:17:48,940 --> 01:17:50,115
Henry!

622
01:17:51,268 --> 01:17:56,873
Now listen, you ... tapeworm!
You've been caught out
in a nasty cheap little crime.

623
01:17:57,337 --> 01:17:59,421
I'd like to see you put away for a long time.

624
01:18:00,095 --> 01:18:09,161
I'd like to see you drummed out of whatever
miserable association you chiropodists
belong to and I'd like to see you hounded
out of this town with your tail between your legs.

625
01:18:10,197 --> 01:18:13,591
However ... in Westminster Abbey,

626
01:18:14,302 --> 01:18:23,428
tomorrow morning ... young couple are
getting married of a purity and a nobility ...
scum like you just can't comprehend.

627
01:18:24,774 --> 01:18:28,230
As a gesture to them, we're going
to say nothing about this,
but take a tip from me:

628
01:18:29,236 --> 01:18:32,164
leave this town ... We don't want you.

629
01:18:33,651 --> 01:18:38,907
- Let's get the pig and get out of here!
- We can't ... We're being watched.

630
01:18:43,025 --> 01:18:49,418
Dr Swaby, Mr Lockwood, Mr Allardyce!
Oh, and Inspector Noble!
This is an unexpected pleasure.
631
01:18:50,328 --> 01:18:56,321
I gather there's been some silly silly
misunderstanding about this ... this animal.

632
01:18:57,061 --> 01:19:01,073
Well, we're all civilised people
and I'm sure we can talk it over.

633
01:19:02,084 --> 01:19:05,285
Mother, give Dr Swaby a cocktail snack.

634
01:19:06,538 --> 01:19:07,631
Mother...

635
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:19,100
Excuse me.

636
01:19:21,747 --> 01:19:23,291
Come on in, mother!

637
01:19:24,349 --> 01:19:25,887
Hand them around!

638
01:19:26,706 --> 01:19:31,936
- 74 and never misses a trick.
- No pig ... No pig.

639
01:19:32,650 --> 01:19:36,550
I think little Veronica is going
to startle us one of these days.

640
01:19:37,586 --> 01:19:41,688
I'm going to throw caution to the winds
and have a sweet sherry. Anybody else?

641
01:19:42,702 --> 01:19:46,611
I went by train to Lytham two years
ago, to see my sister-in-law.

642
01:19:46,982 --> 01:19:52,428
- I travelled all by meself and I changed twice.
- Dr Swaby's not interested in your holidays, mother.

643
01:19:53,518 --> 01:19:57,542
Gilbert, I don't think we want
that animal in here while we're
having our cocktails, do we?

644
01:19:58,009 --> 01:20:02,787
- Let's get the pig, and go!
- We can't, Wormold's outside.

645
01:20:03,853 --> 01:20:07,330
- I'll have to kill it here.
- Here?
- Now?

646
01:20:08,449 --> 01:20:13,607
Slaughter it here?
What a splendid idea!

647
01:20:14,206 --> 01:20:19,608
We'd be only too pleased.
All our facilities are at your disposal.

648
01:20:20,118 --> 01:20:23,823
Bring Sutcliff, fetch Preston!
I'm going to need lots of hot water.

649
01:20:25,875 --> 01:20:28,828
Seven nines are sixty-three.

650
01:20:37,906 --> 01:20:39,914
- We could ...
- What?

651
01:20:43,175 --> 01:20:46,218
- Let her go.
- Yes!

652
01:20:46,628 --> 01:20:48,603
- Where?
- I don't know.

653
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:52,647
Just set around somewhere ... In a sty.

654
01:20:53,530 --> 01:20:56,172
Not kill her ... just keep her.

655
01:21:00,507 --> 01:21:01,915
They'd go mad.
656
01:21:05,584 --> 01:21:09,391
- All right.
- I've got a car ... Grab hold!

657
01:21:14,495 --> 01:21:18,565
Come, Betty! Come, Betty!
Betty! Come! Don't worry, Betty.

658
01:21:22,498 --> 01:21:24,224
Silly twit.

659
01:21:29,374 --> 01:21:33,128
- Oh, more sherry, Inspector?
- Don't mind if I do.

660
01:21:33,834 --> 01:21:38,878
- I wonder what he thinks we're doing?
- Playing cards, it's a perfectly normal activity.

661
01:21:39,183 --> 01:21:42,346
Bridge! Oh, why didn't I think of it?

662
01:21:43,155 --> 01:21:45,246
- Do you play, doctor?
- No.

663
01:22:00,288 --> 01:22:03,598
The Royal wedding is exciting
a great deal of interest.

664
01:22:06,437 --> 01:22:14,051
- Do you mind if I ask you something?
- Certainly.
- Have you any history of ... mental illness?

665
01:22:17,531 --> 01:22:19,716
There might be some noise.
Put wireless on.

666
01:22:24,155 --> 01:22:25,834
We don't need the wireless.

667
01:23:02,724 --> 01:23:06,410
- Am I too late?
- Come in.

668
01:23:11,031 --> 01:23:12,160
Take his pinny.

669
01:23:18,421 --> 01:23:20,870
I must say I am looking forward to the wedding.

670
01:23:21,171 --> 01:23:24,048
I read in the paper they are going to
spend the honeymoon in Broadlands.

671
01:23:24,624 --> 01:23:27,638
Unfortunate name. Could be an institution.

672
01:23:28,443 --> 01:23:33,164
Of course, it's what we do best, isn't it, pageantry?

673
01:23:33,821 --> 01:23:44,086
Carriages passing the streets, the Household
Cavalry. The bells ringing out.
Oh, England! It's like a fairy tale.

674
01:24:00,432 --> 01:24:01,448
Gangway!

675
01:24:03,967 --> 01:24:05,176
The water hot?

676
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:09,911
With a bit more leisure I'd make
black pudding. You got a razor?

677
01:24:31,603 --> 01:24:32,676
I'm sorry.

678
01:24:33,863 --> 01:24:36,278
Sorry? I thought you called yourself a medical man.

679
01:24:36,830 --> 01:24:39,528
First requirement of a medical
man is to have no feelings.

680
01:24:41,236 --> 01:24:49,226
- I want a hand. We've got to get it upstairs.
- All right. I'm dressed up.
- I have a hernia.
- Oh, my brother-in-law has a hernia.
681
01:25:01,169 --> 01:25:03,009
What a charming man.

682
01:25:05,703 --> 01:25:11,264
I teach the daughter piano. I think one
day she's going to surprise us all.

683
01:25:12,222 --> 01:25:14,140
So sensitive.

684
01:25:23,991 --> 01:25:28,424
- Right, when I've seen to the carcass, I'm leaving.
- I leave first.
- I'm the one he's watching.

685
01:25:28,851 --> 01:25:31,996
I leave first, but empty-handed, right?
You can take the pig.

686
01:25:32,647 --> 01:25:35,829
- We're not taking the pig!
- Do you want the pig, or don't you?
- Joyce, ...

687
01:25:36,334 --> 01:25:42,056
- Can I go to the toilet?
- Of course, mother. There's no need to ask.

688
01:25:42,661 --> 01:25:43,758
Seventy-four ...

689
01:25:44,364 --> 01:25:47,530
- Eleven elevens are ...
- Go to the toilet, mother!

690
01:26:13,311 --> 01:26:16,272
We'll wait 5 minutes.
Get the pig ready!

691
01:26:18,196 --> 01:26:20,185
Do you have a hat and coat?

692
01:26:26,789 --> 01:26:30,222
Think yourself lucky, the pair of you!
You've got off very lightly indeed.

693
01:26:30,833 --> 01:26:33,510
But he was fond of her.
You were fond of her, I can tell that.

694
01:26:33,932 --> 01:26:37,121
And don't be too upset.
We're as much in the wrong as you are.

695
01:26:37,542 --> 01:26:39,343
If this got out we'd all be ruined.

696
01:26:42,914 --> 01:26:45,447
Oh, really?

697
01:26:48,125 --> 01:26:53,833
I think you'd better sit down.
I think we've got some talking to do.

698
01:26:54,184 --> 01:26:56,733
- Joyce !
- Shut up ! Sit down!

699
01:27:03,704 --> 01:27:04,789
Pillock!

700
01:27:06,624 --> 01:27:10,749
- Perhaps, you'd like a little sherry now?
- Very well.

701
01:27:19,998 --> 01:27:24,255
- Now you've found a way to our door,
I do hope you'll come again.
- Yes, I will.

702
01:27:24,743 --> 01:27:30,114
- I'm bound to say, Mrs Chilvers,
you've got up in my estimation.
You've got more about you than your husband.
- Oh!

703
01:27:32,901 --> 01:27:39,239
Oh, incidentally, if you ever want
your mother put in a home, I'm really
on the board of several of them.

704
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:43,035
Oh, do you hear that, mother?
Oh, how caring!
705
01:27:43,736 --> 01:27:45,807
Well, I'll be on toe.

706
01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:05,251
Right, Gilbert! ...
I think sexual intercourse is in order.

707
01:28:09,905 --> 01:28:12,105
<i>And now they are man and wife.</i>

708
01:28:12,511 --> 01:28:18,017
<i>For the people who have come from afar,
the wedding for the family has become
the wedding for entire British people.</i>

709
01:28:18,613 --> 01:28:22,507
<i>Everyone gladly sharing ...</i>
- Are you busy?
- No.

710
01:28:23,559 --> 01:28:27,525
<i>... as serving ... </i>
Are you any good at painting?
<i>common humanity which unites us all.</i>

711
01:28:29,767 --> 01:28:32,515
Should I start at the bottom?
The bottom or the top?

712
01:28:33,146 --> 01:28:36,731
Oh, I think it's perhaps better if
you work your way up ... Maurice.

713
01:28:38,052 --> 01:28:48,913
<i>They wanted Elizabeth, they wanted Philip ...
Seldom any bride and groom received such
a tumultuous expression of good will. </i>

714
01:28:53,685 --> 01:28:54,690
Somebody at the door.

715
01:28:54,916 --> 01:28:56,823
Take no notice.
We're busy, aren't we?

716
01:28:57,296 --> 01:29:07,644
<i>The joy of princess and people ...
... for both the day has been an ordeal ...
Frightening in its intensity yet
unforgettable in it's splendour.</i>

717
01:29:08,068 --> 01:29:10,068
And now the tension was leaping...

718
01:29:11,480 --> 01:29:17,434
<i>As the great day draw to a ...</i>
- I love you, Mrs Forbes.
- I wondered if you did.

719
01:29:19,790 --> 01:29:25,393
- Will you marry me?
- Possibly. Only I'm still waiting
to hear from Kuala Lumpur.

720
01:29:26,456 --> 01:29:32,350
Anyway we can cross that "t" when we get to it.
<i>... and this British observance of public duty ...</i>

721
01:29:33,502 --> 01:29:37,866
<i>... that is the tradition of which ...</i>
- Maurice?
- Yes.

722
01:29:39,793 --> 01:29:41,923
You'll have to be less keen on your job.

723
01:29:49,366 --> 01:29:54,375
Shall I draw in the stocking tops?
<i>... when so many have enjoyed
in this peak of human experience ...</i>

724
01:30:32,800 --> 01:30:38,500
Don't be coarse, you ...
Wipe your mouth.
You've got it to stop.

725
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:43,500
It's a lovely hotel.
The toilets are immaculate.

726
01:30:54,206 --> 01:30:59,187
- They would put us right next door to the toilet.
What are you doing, Gilbert?
- Nothing, nothing.
727
01:30:59,793 --> 01:31:04,794
Still, toilet or no toilet.
In ten years time, that'll be us.

728
01:31:23,877 --> 01:31:29,977
My Lord Mayor, the aldermen,
distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen.

729
01:31:30,183 --> 01:31:36,572
And it is my great pleasure to propose to you
now the toast in honor of the happy couple!

730
01:31:48,937 --> 01:31:51,629
The happy couple!

731
01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:09,000
Subtitles by: Vitaly (vipo)
(Leningrad (USSR)-Gush Dan (Israel)).
Made mostly by listening with
some help from the script.
Editing program: "Subtitle Edit".