Siddique 1

Maryam Siddique
Professor Douthard
Nov 6, 2017
English 5M

P.I.E Outline
Intro:

I: According to Ann Penrose, and Cheryl Geisler, students writing without authority are less
likely to show a role in the text, they explain that writing without authority makes it to be more Commented [1]: Period (.) or semicolon (;) would fit in
here!
informative while it doesnt reflect on the authors perspective (513).
I: Because of the format college students must follow, they focus on organizing the paper with Commented [2]: avoid contractions!

appropriate and adequate information; however, they forget about their role in the conversation,
and the text turns out to be more informative than reflective. Commented [3]: Nice!
I: Penrose and Geisler discuss writing without authority evident the authors outsider position, Commented [4]: I do not understand this word...
because their text consists many information and facts, while it doesnt show any impersonal maybe "show"?

detach.
Thesis: Despite the importance of writing an informative and organized essay, writing with
authority is equally important. Commented [5]: good thesis!

Body Paragraph:
P: Through authority writes can understand how to appropriately communicate in ways that are
acceptable in certain situations.
I: [L]earning to become a legitimate participate in a community involves learning how to talk
(and be silent) in the manner of full participant (Wardle 290).
I: Wardle asserts the idea that authority is best described to be comprehensive for both the
speaker and the audience, she quotes Lincoln need not involve argumentation and may rest on Commented [6]: period or semicolon here!
the naked assertion that the identity of the speaker warrants acceptance of the speech (Wardle,
290).
E: The idea of gaining knowledge to clearly communicate situations also relates to the fact of
building an identity. Undoubtedly these quotes show the importance of authority and identity in Commented [7]: add a comma here :)
writing. Wardle clarifies that a writer who can speak in a certain way in different situations is
more likely to obtain an identity and show authority over the conversation. In short, a
conversation is stronger when both the speaker and the audience show authority and build an
identity appropriately in all situations. Commented [8]: nice explanation!

Body Paragraph:
P: Authority promotes new workers to adjust in the environment quickly.
Commented [9]: Try not to use personal pronouns!
I: In Wardles research she discusses Alan at his new job. She describes him to be an expert of another solutions are "the author", "The writer"...
conversation. She clarifies that he considered himself to be the God of the new working place, Commented [10]: describes him as an expert of
conversation
 Siddique 2

since he could communicate his skills clearly, and describe he is unique from his colleagues.
This leads back to the idea of speaking in the right manner in the correct situation (Wardle, 292).
I: Later in the article she points out that [Alan] did not feel as much authority as he claimed to
have (296, Wardle); however, he dominated in the department for the fact that he understood
the proper way of communicating in certain situations. Commented [11]: this information is so useful for your
point! :)
E: Based on these examples from the research, I believe that authority plays a key role for a
newcomer to adjust in the environment. For example, Alan was not as experts, while the way he Commented [12]: I suggest you to write in a more
impersonal style, always trying to reflect what the writer
communicated in the department developed his identity and allowed him to have authority over explains :)
others. He claimed himself to be the most intellectual and responsible person in the department.
This shows that his speaking skills were powerful enough to adjust in the unique environment.

Body Paragraph:
P: Lack of authority in a text leads the paper to contain more information, while the author
doesnt show any role. Commented [13]: contraction
I: Penrose and Geisler discuss their research on two students Janet and Roger. In this research
they mainly focus the students ability to work with the articles, and write a report. Over the Commented [14]: I do not understand this... you mean
by their respective works?
course of semester, they discovered that Roger showed more authority in his paper; whereas,
Janet showed lack of impersonal detachment in her writing. She was more likely to use examples Commented [15]: here a comma fits better :)

to clarify her point, while Roger used them to relate with his perspective on the topic (508,
Penrose & Geisler).
I: As a result, they said Janet stayed an outsider, she can comprehend the examples. However, Commented [16]: , so she can comprehend the
examples
relating to the paper and developing a role was difficult for her. While, Roger maintained his
position in the writing and determined his understanding. Based on the writing Roger seems to Commented [17]: comma
understand the topic better than Janet (513, Penrose & Geisler).
E. In this article the authors describe the impotence if writing with authority. They illustrate that Commented [18]: of
the students who doesnt develop a role in the text lacks creativity. They provide enough Commented [19]: contractions
information to convey their point, while their paper is not as attractive to the audience. Because it
doesnt as how the authors perspective, and represents other opinions, the text seems more Commented [20]: this is confusing, I think you forgot
to write a verb to make a correct sentence!
informative and boring to the audience. Consequently, students must be willing to develop a
position in the writing and demonstrate their understanding of the topic as well as their stance. Commented [21]: no comma here

Conclusion:
After reading articles from Penrose and Geisler, and Wardle, I strongly believe that authority is Commented [22]: as I told you previously, be careful
in giving your own opinion!
the key to writing effectively in college. Moreover, it supports the writers to develop an identity
in the text. It allows the speaker to show a clear understanding of the topic, and capability of
relating to other authors. For example, they discuss Janet to clarify that students who use
example only to illustrate the facts tends to write an informative paper, while the text doesnt
show impersonal detachment, while Roger used his sources to clarify his position on the topic. Commented [23]: I suggest you to try to rewrite this, it
seems a little confusing!
Moreover, authority helps new workers to adjust in an unfamiliar environment. For instance,
Alan showed confidence of his work and communicated with authority in the department, he
 Siddique 3

could settle quickly, and show his skills that were even better than the ones already working in
the department.
Commented [24]: the conclusion is OK, but I think you
can add more powerful arguments in order to make it
stronger. I think conclusions are the strongest part of
every paper. Good job!