Jamison Neal

Ms. Cook
Composition
December, 10th 2017

Three Kings
Once upon a time there were three kings who ruled all the land. The first king was young
and always saw the good in everything no matter the situation. The second king was, old and
cruel from a long life, could only see the bad even if there was only good. And the final king Commented [1]: CS
could only see a little bit of both. Not to much good, or to little bad. Commented [2]: R
One day the first king was out for a walk with his advisors when they came across an
orphaned boy. The boy was very lonely and asked the king to adopt him. To this the king simply
said,
Boy you do not need a family. You should be grateful that you have so many brothers
and sisters!
So the king continued on, leaving the young boy to be lonely. After a while the king came
across a beggar in need of bread. To this the king simply said,
It is better to be hungry than without clothes is it not? You should be happy to have
clothes on your back.
So the king continued on leaving the beggar to go hungry. Finally, the king was almost
done with his duties when he was approached by a young man who wished to die. The man
said,
My king, I wish to leave this world for I have nothing to live for. My wife and children are dead
and I have no place to go.
To this the king simply said, Formatted: Indent: First line: 0"
You are alive are you not? That is something that should be celebrated!
So the king continued on leaving the beaten man to suffer. Later that night his people Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5"
rioted. They overthrew and beheaded the king. And so the kingdom collapsed having no one to
rule them.
The second king was having problems of his own. His kingdom was under attack and his
people were starving. His advisors were smart and thought of brilliant plans for winning the war
and feeding his people. But the old king only saw the bad in those plans and told them to make
new ones. So his advisors came up with even better plans that were sure to win over the king's
favor. But again the old king only saw the bad. The advisors kept coming up with plans but none
of them satisfied the old king. The king, only seeing the bad in his plans, decided to not take
action. His people starved and his kingdom collapsed.
The third and final king was facing a rebellion. His people wanted a new government and
they wished to get rid of the king. The king saw potential in this new government so he decided
it would be best to give up his power to ensure the wellbeing of the people. The king was able to
live and his kingdom thrived under the new government.
Rubric rating submitted on: 12/14/2017, 8:08:46 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org
5 4 3 2 1 0

Introduction 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
W.3.a and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Your score: creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
5 demonstrate Engages ; a couple ; a few ; several Engages
d and orient errors exist errors exist errors exist and orient
Engages the reader Engages Engages Engages the reader
and orient by setting and orient and orient and orient by setting
the reader out a the reader the reader the reader out a
by setting problem by setting by setting by setting problem
out a (conflict), out a out a out a (conflict),
problem situation, or problem problem problem situation, or
(conflict), observation (conflict), (conflict), (conflict), observation
situation, or and situation, or situation, or situation, or and
observation determines observation observation observation determines
and its and and and its
determines significance. determines determines determines significance.
its Establishes its its its Establishes
significance. one or significance. significance. significance. one or
Establishes multiple Establishes Establishes Establishes multiple
one or point(s) of one or one or one or point(s) of
multiple view and multiple multiple multiple view and
point(s) of introduces point(s) of point(s) of point(s) of introduces
view and the narrator view and view and view and the narrator
introduces and/or introduces introduces introduces and/or
the narrator characters. the narrator the narrator the narrator characters.
and/or and/or and/or and/or
characters. characters. characters. characters.

Rising 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
Action & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Climax creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.3.b,c,d demonstrate Uses ; a couple ; a few ; several Uses
(1) d dialogue errors exist errors exist errors exist dialogue
Your score: Uses and Uses Uses Uses and
4 dialogue description dialogue dialogue dialogue description
and (characteriz and and and (characteriz
description ation) to description description description ation) to
(characteriz develop (characteriz (characteriz (characteriz develop
ation) to experiences, ation) to ation) to ation) to experiences,
develop events, develop develop develop events,
experiences, and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
events, characters. events, events, events, characters.
and/or Uses and/or and/or and/or Uses
characters. pacing, characters. characters. characters. pacing,
Uses reflection , Uses Uses Uses reflection ,
pacing, suspense pacing, pacing, pacing, suspense
reflection , and reflection , reflection , reflection , and
suspense foreshadowi suspense suspense suspense foreshadowi
and ng to and and and ng to
foreshadowi develop foreshadowi foreshadowi foreshadowi develop
ng to experiences, ng to ng to ng to experiences,
develop events, develop develop develop events,
experiences, and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
events, characters. events, events, events, characters.
and/or Sequence and/or and/or and/or Sequence
characters. events so characters. characters. characters. events so
Sequence that they Sequence Sequence Sequence that they
events so build on one events so events so events so build on one
that they another to that they that they that they another to
build on one create a build on one build on one build on one create a
another to coherent another to another to another to coherent
create a whole and create a create a create a whole and
coherent build toward coherent coherent coherent build toward
whole and a particular whole and whole and whole and a particular
build toward tone and build toward build toward build toward tone and
a particular outcome a particular a particular a particular outcome
tone and (e.g. sense tone and tone and tone and (e.g. sense
outcome of mystery, outcome outcome outcome of mystery,
(e.g. sense suspense, (e.g. sense (e.g. sense (e.g. sense suspense,
of mystery, growth, or of mystery, of mystery, of mystery, growth, or
suspense, resolution) suspense, suspense, suspense, resolution)
growth, or Uses clear growth, or growth, or growth, or Uses clear
resolution) transitions resolution) resolution) resolution) transitions
Uses clear frequently to Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear frequently to
transitions help develop transitions transitions transitions help develop
frequently to the frequently to frequently to frequently to the
help develop sequencing help develop help develop help develop sequencing
the of events. the the the of events.
sequencing Uses a sequencing sequencing sequencing Uses a
of events. precise/stro of events. of events. of events. precise/stro
Uses a ng words Uses a Uses a Uses a ng words
precise/stro and precise/stro precise/stro precise/stro and
ng words phrases, ng words ng words ng words phrases,
and telling and and and telling
phrases, details, and phrases, phrases, phrases, details, and
telling sensory telling telling telling sensory
details, and language to details, and details, and details, and language to
sensory convey a sensory sensory sensory convey a
language to vivid picture language to language to language to vivid picture
convey a of the convey a convey a convey a of the
vivid picture experiences, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture experiences,
of the events, of the of the of the events,
experiences, settings experiences, experiences, experiences, settings
events, and/or events, events, events, and/or
settings characters. settings settings settings characters.
and/or Develops a and/or and/or and/or Develops a
characters. theme and characters. characters. characters. theme and
Develops a weave it Develops a Develops a Develops a weave it
theme and throughout theme and theme and theme and throughout
weave it the weave it weave it weave it the
throughout narrative. throughout throughout throughout narrative.
the Presents the the the Presents
narrative. and narrative. narrative. narrative. and
Presents develops Presents Presents Presents develops
and complication and and and complication
develops s to lead up develops develops develops s to lead up
complication to the climax complication complication complication to the climax
s to lead up and s to lead up s to lead up s to lead up and
to the climax develops a to the climax to the climax to the climax develops a
and clear climax and and and clear climax
develops a or turning develops a develops a develops a or turning
clear climax point in the clear climax clear climax clear climax point in the
or turning narrative. or turning or turning or turning narrative.
point in the Uses point in the point in the point in the Uses
narrative. figurative narrative. narrative. narrative. figurative
Uses language in Uses Uses Uses language in
figurative the narrative figurative figurative figurative the narrative
language in to develop language in language in language in to develop
the narrative the plot, the narrative the narrative the narrative the plot,
to develop characters, to develop to develop to develop characters,
the plot, events, the plot, the plot, the plot, events,
characters, and/or characters, characters, characters, and/or
events, experiences. events, events, events, experiences.
and/or Uses at and/or and/or and/or Uses at
experiences. least one of experiences. experiences. experiences. least one of
Uses at the Uses at Uses at Uses at the
least one of following: least one of least one of least one of following:
the irony, the the the irony,
following: symbolism, following: following: following: symbolism,
irony, multiple irony, irony, irony, multiple
symbolism, plots, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, plots,
multiple paradox, multiple multiple multiple paradox,
plots, archetype, plots, plots, plots, archetype,
paradox, flashback, or paradox, paradox, paradox, flashback, or
archetype, stream of archetype, archetype, archetype, stream of
flashback, or consciousne flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or consciousne
stream of ss. stream of stream of stream of ss.
consciousne consciousne consciousne consciousne
ss. ss. ss. ss.
Rising 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
Action & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Climax creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.3.b,c,d demonstrate Uses ; a couple ; a few ; several Uses
(2) d dialogue errors exist errors exist errors exist dialogue
Your score: Uses and Uses Uses Uses and
4 dialogue description dialogue dialogue dialogue description
and (characteriz and and and (characteriz
description ation) to description description description ation) to
(characteriz develop (characteriz (characteriz (characteriz develop
ation) to experiences, ation) to ation) to ation) to experiences,
develop events, develop develop develop events,
experiences, and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
events, characters. events, events, events, characters.
and/or Uses and/or and/or and/or Uses
characters. pacing, characters. characters. characters. pacing,
Uses reflection , Uses Uses Uses reflection ,
pacing, suspense pacing, pacing, pacing, suspense
reflection , and reflection , reflection , reflection , and
suspense foreshadowi suspense suspense suspense foreshadowi
and ng to and and and ng to
foreshadowi develop foreshadowi foreshadowi foreshadowi develop
ng to experiences, ng to ng to ng to experiences,
develop events, develop develop develop events,
experiences, and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
events, characters. events, events, events, characters.
and/or Sequence and/or and/or and/or Sequence
characters. events so characters. characters. characters. events so
Sequence that they Sequence Sequence Sequence that they
events so build on one events so events so events so build on one
that they another to that they that they that they another to
build on one create a build on one build on one build on one create a
another to coherent another to another to another to coherent
create a whole and create a create a create a whole and
coherent build toward coherent coherent coherent build toward
whole and a particular whole and whole and whole and a particular
build toward tone and build toward build toward build toward tone and
a particular outcome a particular a particular a particular outcome
tone and (e.g. sense tone and tone and tone and (e.g. sense
outcome of mystery, outcome outcome outcome of mystery,
(e.g. sense suspense, (e.g. sense (e.g. sense (e.g. sense suspense,
of mystery, growth, or of mystery, of mystery, of mystery, growth, or
suspense, resolution) suspense, suspense, suspense, resolution)
growth, or Uses clear growth, or growth, or growth, or Uses clear
resolution) transitions resolution) resolution) resolution) transitions
Uses clear frequently to Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear frequently to
transitions help develop transitions transitions transitions help develop
frequently to the frequently to frequently to frequently to the
help develop sequencing help develop help develop help develop sequencing
the of events. the the the of events.
sequencing Uses a sequencing sequencing sequencing Uses a
of events. precise/stro of events. of events. of events. precise/stro
Uses a ng words Uses a Uses a Uses a ng words
precise/stro and precise/stro precise/stro precise/stro and
ng words phrases, ng words ng words ng words phrases,
and telling and and and telling
phrases, details, and phrases, phrases, phrases, details, and
telling sensory telling telling telling sensory
details, and language to details, and details, and details, and language to
sensory convey a sensory sensory sensory convey a
language to vivid picture language to language to language to vivid picture
convey a of the convey a convey a convey a of the
vivid picture experiences, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture experiences,
of the events, of the of the of the events,
experiences, settings experiences, experiences, experiences, settings
events, and/or events, events, events, and/or
settings characters. settings settings settings characters.
and/or Develops a and/or and/or and/or Develops a
characters. theme and characters. characters. characters. theme and
Develops a weave it Develops a Develops a Develops a weave it
theme and throughout theme and theme and theme and throughout
weave it the weave it weave it weave it the
throughout narrative. throughout throughout throughout narrative.
the Presents the the the Presents
narrative. and narrative. narrative. narrative. and
Presents develops Presents Presents Presents develops
and complication and and and complication
develops s to lead up develops develops develops s to lead up
complication to the climax complication complication complication to the climax
s to lead up and s to lead up s to lead up s to lead up and
to the climax develops a to the climax to the climax to the climax develops a
and clear climax and and and clear climax
develops a or turning develops a develops a develops a or turning
clear climax point in the clear climax clear climax clear climax point in the
or turning narrative. or turning or turning or turning narrative.
point in the Uses point in the point in the point in the Uses
narrative. figurative narrative. narrative. narrative. figurative
Uses language in Uses Uses Uses language in
figurative the narrative figurative figurative figurative the narrative
language in to develop language in language in language in to develop
the narrative the plot, the narrative the narrative the narrative the plot,
to develop characters, to develop to develop to develop characters,
the plot, events, the plot, the plot, the plot, events,
characters, and/or characters, characters, characters, and/or
events, experiences. events, events, events, experiences.
and/or Uses at and/or and/or and/or Uses at
 experiences. least one of experiences. experiences. experiences. least one of
Uses at the Uses at Uses at Uses at the
least one of following: least one of least one of least one of following:
the irony, the the the irony,
following: symbolism, following: following: following: symbolism,
irony, multiple irony, irony, irony, multiple
symbolism, plots, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, plots,
multiple paradox, multiple multiple multiple paradox,
plots, archetype, plots, plots, plots, archetype,
paradox, flashback, or paradox, paradox, paradox, flashback, or
archetype, stream of archetype, archetype, archetype, stream of
flashback, or consciousne flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or consciousne
stream of ss. stream of stream of stream of ss.
consciousne consciousne consciousne consciousne
ss. ss. ss. ss.

Falling 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
Action & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Conclusion creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.3.e demonstrate The ; a couple ; a few ; several The
d problem, errors exist errors exist errors exist problem,
Your score: The situation, or The The The situation, or
4 problem, observation problem, problem, problem, observation
situation, or is clearly situation, or situation, or situation, or is clearly
observation resolved. observation observation observation resolved.
is clearly Provides a is clearly is clearly is clearly Provides a
resolved. conclusion resolved. resolved. resolved. conclusion
Provides a that follows Provides a Provides a Provides a that follows
conclusion from and conclusion conclusion conclusion from and
that follows reflects on that follows that follows that follows reflects on
from and what is from and from and from and what is
reflects on experienced reflects on reflects on reflects on experienced
what is , observed, what is what is what is , observed,
experienced or resolved experienced experienced experienced or resolved
, observed, over the , observed, , observed, , observed, over the
or resolved course of or resolved or resolved or resolved course of
over the the over the over the over the the
course of narrative. course of course of course of narrative.
the Reflects the the the Reflects
narrative. upon the narrative. narrative. narrative. upon the
Reflects theme(s) in Reflects Reflects Reflects theme(s) in
upon the the upon the upon the upon the the
theme(s) in conclusion theme(s) in theme(s) in theme(s) in conclusion
the to leave the the the the to leave the
conclusion reader with conclusion conclusion conclusion reader with
to leave the a lasting to leave the to leave the to leave the a lasting
 reader with message to reader with reader with reader with message to
a lasting take away a lasting a lasting a lasting take away
message to from the message to message to message to from the
take away story and take away take away take away story and
from the apply to life. from the from the from the apply to life.
story and story and story and story and
apply to life. apply to life. apply to life. apply to life.

Mechanics, 5 = Fully 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
Usage & and Demonstrat Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt
Style creatively ed demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate made
W.1.c,d & L. demonstrate Sentence ; a couple ; a few ; several Sentence
1&2 d variety and errors exist errors exist errors exist variety and
Sentence word choice Sentence Sentence Sentence word choice
Your score: variety and is effective variety and variety and variety and is effective
5 word choice and word choice word choice word choice and
is effective sophisticate is effective is effective is effective sophisticate
and d. and and and d.
sophisticate A formal sophisticate sophisticate sophisticate A formal
d. style and d. d. d. style and
A formal objective A formal A formal A formal objective
style and tone is style and style and style and tone is
objective established objective objective objective established
tone is and tone is tone is tone is and
established maintained established established established maintained
and & and and and &
maintained Writing is maintained maintained maintained Writing is
& clear, & & & clear,
Writing is concise, and Writing is Writing is Writing is concise, and
clear, strong. clear, clear, clear, strong.
concise, and Sentences concise, and concise, and concise, and Sentences
strong. demonstrate strong. strong. strong. demonstrate
Sentences correct Sentences Sentences Sentences correct
demonstrate usage, demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate usage,
correct punctuation, correct correct correct punctuation,
usage, capitalizatio usage, usage, usage, capitalizatio
punctuation, n, and punctuation, punctuation, punctuation, n, and
capitalizatio spelling. capitalizatio capitalizatio capitalizatio spelling.
n, and n, and n, and n, and
spelling. spelling. spelling. spelling.

Comments:
Total: 22/25
http://talkandcomment.com/p/c933f06f9134e23d216502b8 (voice note)