***CRITICAL STAR WARS EPISODE VIII SPOILERS AHEAD***

Recently, I’ve started to see some ludicrous claims about people finding fault with
the new Star Wars movie, and I felt like I had to sound off on the legitimate problems with
the film that people are complaining about, because that sort of logic is completely non-
conductive to basic intelligent discussion and constructive criticism. To set the record
straight, I do enjoy The Last Jedi, and I will definitely discuss why I feel its strengths
outweigh its weaknesses below, but I feel like the film has several extremely prominent
flaws that significantly hampered my enjoyment of it, and for me the film falls at the tail end
of the non-prequel ranking list.

First and foremost, the overarching problem I have with the film is that it feels very,
very formulaic. It feels like Disney had a big blueprint titled "How to Sell a Movie" to use as
a basis here. That blueprint had five or six points labeled "watercooler moment, and the rest
of the film just seemed to be filled in by cutting Episode V into pieces, rearranged them,
changed a few words, and put them back in as almost filler. The best one-sentence
summary of this movie is probably "what if we did the battle of Hoth, but at the end".
Complete the formula with three separate animal buddies to fill stuffed toy aisles, and you
have your path to profit.

To break down the film into more concise areas of complaint, I feel it best to start
with some small issues in one of the film’s larger strengths: the huge, jaw-dropping,
watercooler-moments that the writers assured Disney would keep people talking about this
movie for months. With their blatant marketability aside, these scenes were in general
fantastic, and the film has easily a few of the best moments I can remember from the entire
series, but even the best of them had some minor problems. Snoke’s death was
AWESOME, but at the same time it feels like there's so much wasted potential from that
character. Will more come of his existence in Episode IX? Until then, this feels very much
like the “General Grievous“ issue of failing to properly explore an extremely interesting part
of the lore. The lightspeed kamikaze was an absolutely incredible moment, but at the same
time, why did they use this new character that nobody cares about when you had Admiral
Akbar, a classic and beloved character, die like absolutely nothing just a few scenes
before? The "reveal" of Rei's parentage was presented in such a wishy-washy way that half
the community is convinced they were just lying, and she’ll still be another Skywalker or
Solo in episode IX (a far cry from the iconic “I am your Father” scene that they were clearly
trying to play off of). Even in the big, huge set pieces, there was often just some sort of nag:
wasted potential here, an awkward acting direction there, so on and so forth.

A slightly larger issue I had with the film is just how closely it played itself to The
Empire Strikes Back. While the Force Awakens blatantly stuck to the formula of its trilogy
predecessor, TLJ attempts to mask its emulation with a bit of a remix. Instead of having the
heroes go to the rich Cloud planet to rendezvous with a potential ally that winds up
betraying them, they go to a rich Casino planet to rendezvous with a potential ally that
winds up betraying them. Instead of Luke going to a Swamp planet to force a reluctant,
reclusive Jedi master to train them, Rei goes to a Scotland planet to force a reluctant,
reclusive Jedi master to train them. Rei finds a cave that is meant to symbolize the Dark
Side and has an epiphany, while Luke finds a hollow treee that is meant to symbolize the
Dark Side and has an epiphany. The Empire Strikes Back had a major battle scene where
the Rebels have to defend themselves with light craft against Imperial walkers while their
forces wait for a chance to escape a world covered in snow, while The Last Jedi had a
major battle scene where the Resistance have to defend themselves with light craft against
First Order walkers while their forces wait for a chance to escape a world covered in snow
(wait, not snow, SALT. I nearly walked out of the theater when that line was uttered).
Somehow, these changes, with all the complexity of a 9th grader trying to copy homework
and not get caught by the teacher, rub me in an even worse way than The Force Awakens’
formulaic adherence did.

And then of course you have the real stinker. The turd cherry on top of the entire pile
of shit. Finn and Rose. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Not only is this just a blatant remix of the Bespin
storyline, the writing here is absolutely terrible, and at points almost downright painful. Most
of the "theme" of this subplot ends up just being monologued at you like it was pulled out of
a cutscene from Metroid Other M, and the entire “hidden price of war” justification argument
trying to make both sides of the conflict look bad doesn’t work well when, in the previous
episode, one side of the war BLOWS UP THE MOST POPULOUS PLANET IN THE
GALAXY, and that the movie in between the last two episodes was almost exclusively
focused on the morally-grey and hidden-cost aspects of the war, but told with far more
finesse and skill. The entire storyline felt like pointless filler, the climax fight with Phasma
was totally underwhelming, the McGuffin escape with that one pristine shuttle sitting
perfectly next to the port while every other vehicle near it is roasting in desolation was so
cheesey that I could practically smell it, and the concluding romance subplot felt incredibly
forced. That entire storyline felt like it was pulled out of the damn prequels, featuring all your
favorite elements like an overwhelming use of CG, writing that fails at the most elementary
levels of filmmaking, and themes that are so blunt that it makes the idea of being hit in the
skull by a baseball bat sound subtle. And the worst part of this is that it seemed like this
storyline could have gone to some really interesting places at the beginning, with Rose
initially seeming like she could have been an interesting character through the combination
of her familial loss and distrust of Finn, but it’s all just squandered away at the end.

So that's the most of the bad. I’m not going to go into the more concise issues a lot
of people have stated, such as the scene with Leia in space or the totally absurd logistics of
the First Order’s production capabilities, because I feel like it’s more important to look at the
larger issues than a few small plot holes. That aside, let’s turn now to discuss the good. The
good’s name is Kylo Ren. This character went from one of my least favorite at the end of
Episode VII to being an absolute standout that I feel props up the entire movie around him.
What was little more than a petulant child trying to live up to his twisted hero in the prequel
was morphed into a physical embodiment of inner conflict and chaotic passion throughout
the course of the film, and I couldn’t possibly be happier with him. I honestly think my only
complaint with him now is that he’s so complex and interesting that he makes the rest of the
cast look incredibly two-dimensional because of it. I’m at a total loss when I consider that
this character and the Finn/Rose storyline somehow came out of the same movie. In
general, I really liked the portrayal of Luke in this film. I didn’t find his writing up to the same
level of Kylo Ren’s, but the conflicted fallen hero who must once more find his conviction for
the sake of hope ended up being one of the films strongest threads in my opinion. Similarly,
I really liked how Po was developed through his own failures, and even though it feels like
he’s been practically a non-factor in the main plot so far, It’s nice to have a more complex
hero character than the fairly vanilla Rei (or as I call her, Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII in
space) or the now-tarnished Finn. And of course, the cool scenes, despite their flaws, were
really fucking cool. For all the lost potential in Snoke’s death, I would be lying if I said I
wasn’t thrilled when watching it, and I could say the same for most of the other jaw-dropping
moments. They might have been grade-A House-of-Mouse certified for market, but boy
were they satisfying all the same.

The last knock I have against the film is one that I feel is probably more personal
than universal, and is the one area where I think this movie is actually worse than the
prequels: it just didn't have that Star Wars soul. To me, a huge part of all the Star Wars
movies was the amazing universe it crafted. The planets, the people, the creatures, the
ships, the sense of wonder and fantasy. Now think back to this movie, and what we saw: we
saw flying through space in ships we've already seen. We saw a remix of Bespin that was
grossly overusing CG and looked right out of Episode I Naboo. We had more flying through
space. We had not-Hoth with it’s not-snow and not-budget-snowspeeders. We got our CG
animal buddies that sort of looked terrible but will still sell toys though, we definitely got
those. Now think back to the prequels: remember the pod races? Remember the awesome
Confederate and Republic ships, walkers, and weapons in the Clone Wars? Remember
Darth Maul with his dual saber, or General Grievous with his belts of Jedi lightsaber
trophies? Where was... any of that? Where was that wonder and excitement that makes
Star Wars more than any other generic Sci-fi universe? To put it bluntly, where was the
planet in this movie that made me say “I want to go there”? Where was the ship that said “I
want to fly in that”? Luke’s Island was about the only area of the movie where I really felt
like I was watching a Star Wars movie. This is the first movie in the entire franchise where I
can honestly say that I didn't feel like the soul of the franchise was there. There were the
characters you love and jaw-dropping moments, but the little things that make Star Wars so
much more than just another generic sci-fi franchise... just weren't there.

Hopefully this was able to provide a bit more insight into the complaints that I and
others have with the film. I’m definitely not sitting here advocating for the insane fervor
some opponents have shown, with “non-canonization” campaigns and that nonsense (hell, I
still personally think it’s a good movie), but I felt like I had to say something when I was
seeing some equally outlandish claims from the movie’s supporters, such as claims that the
complaints against the movie were an alt-right conspiracy. In a movie this long, in a
franchise this old, and a fanbase this large, there’s going to be a wide spectrum of feelings
on the film, and it’s important to remember that what might be a valid opinion for you simply
might not fit with those who experience Episode VIII, or Star Wars in general, in the same
way.