Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor
has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for
choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Robbie! This is Jenra R., and I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center
Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:

There are good explanations below. For instance, you wrote, “Nancy’s coined term, “Just
say no to drugs” led to a refocus on the war on drugs and in 1986 congress passed the Anti-
Drug Abuse Act that among many of other things made a mandatory amount of prison time
for certain drug offenses; those offenses included a mandatory amount of 5 years in prison
without parole for possession of 5 grams of crack, in comparison to that of 500 grams of
powder cocaine. This was the cause for a lot of poor, black people to be incarcerated
because “crack” was a cheaper, less potent form of the drug, that many African-American
drug users abused. These policies caused a series of arrests that placed many people,
especially those of color, in prison.” With these, it’s clear how the Anti-Drug Abuse Act
contributed to the increase in African American parental incarceration rates. Nice one! 

Main Idea/Thesis

First, for a more effective overview of the essay, I suggest that you be more specific in the
thesis statement. For example, a part of the thesis statement states, “Then, we will look at
the most impactful proposals given in solution to our parental incarceration crisis. After
examining these solutions, I will then decide which solution will be more impactful for the
black community and is more fiscally appropriate.”

Applying my suggestion here, what are the most impactful proposals given in solution to our
parental incarceration crisis, which you explained below? Note these. Also, which solution is
more impactful for the black community and is more fiscally appropriate? Why? Add these,
too. To help you frame these ideas, here is revision model you could use:

Then, we will look at the most impactful proposals given in solution to our parental
incarceration crisis, which include ________. After examining these solutions,
_______ appeared to be more impactful for the black community and is more fiscally
appropriate because _______.

Reflecting the essay below, what would best complete the revision? Read Developing a
Thesis (Chapter 2: Section 4, Lesson 2) for more help. 

*Robbie L. 10235580 has requested that you respond to the Organization:

Second, begin the paragraphs with topic sentences, Robbie. These would tell your readers
what the paragraphs are about. To add these, simply state the ideas covered in the
paragraphs. For example, the fourth paragraph explained the government policies that
contributed to the African American parental incarceration crisis, so craft a sentence telling
this. Then, place this at the very beginning of the fourth paragraph. Here is a template you
could use in doing this:

Moreover, the ___ contributed to the African American parental incarceration crisis.

What would best fill the blank? For more help, read Clear Topic Sentences (Chapter 3:
Lesson 3). 

*Robbie L. 10235580 has requested that you respond to the Grammar &
Mechanics:

Finally, ensure number consistency in your sentences, such as this:

In summation, the “war on drugs” and tough on crime rhetoric in America is the
main reason why so many African American parents are in prison today.

The subject above is plural: the “war on drugs” and tough on crime rhetoric in America.
However, you used the singular verb “is.” Also, you used the singular noun “main reason.”

To ensure number consistency, I would suggest using the plural form of “is,” which is “are”
as well as the plural form of “main reason” by adding an “s” at the end of the word
“reason.” Follow this example:

In summary, the standardized tests and the emphasis on STEM subjects in America
are the main causes why so many students feel discourage in pursuing arts.

Learn more about this by reading Subject-Verb Agreement (Chapter 5: Section 2, Lesson 6)
and Sentence Unity and Clarity (Chapter 5: Section 4, Lesson 9).

Summary of Next Steps:

To summarize, here are the comments I explained above:

 Be specific in the thesis statement.

 Begin the paragraphs with topic sentences.

 Ensure number consistency in your sentences.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Robbie. I enjoyed helping you with this
step in the revision process. Have a good day! –Jenra R. 
You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking
Writer's Handbook.

_________________________________________________________________________
________

Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below.
Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

Help End the African American Parental Incarceration Crisis in The U.S.

Robbie Young

California Baptist University (OPS) Riverside, CA

 Help End the African-American Parental Incarceration Crisis in The U.S.

Today in America there are 2.7 million children with a parent in prison or jail. African-

American children, in particular, has one in four chances of having a parent who is in prison, that

correlates closely to the fact that one in three black men in America will be incarcerated at some

point in their lifetime. Parental incarceration is a very troubling phenomenon that is plaguing the

black community because 40 percent of the 2 million prisoners in America are black, which is

why I will be focusing on this crisis specifically. First, we will explore the professional sources I

am using for my research. Next, we will go through how we, as Americans got to this point of

mass incarceration. Then, we will look at the most impactful proposals given in solution to our

parental incarceration crisis. After examining these solutions, I will then decide which solution

will be more impactful for the black community and is more fiscally appropriate. Finally, I will

discuss why Christians and people of faith should care about such problems and what you can do

to help.

For this report, I focused on a small group of professional sources to study and research

the African American parental incarceration crisis. To focus on the history of this crisis I will be

using an article written by Daniel Patten, who has a master’s degree in Sociology from Old

Dominion University. He is an expert in criminology with an emphasis on state and corporate

crime, who is currently working on his doctoral degree in criminology from Western Michigan

University. Craig Haney, a psychologist and professor at UC Santa Cruz, is a source I will be
referencing more than once. Haney is widely renowned for his work in the study of the

psychological affects of solitary confinement and isolation on prisoners. I will also be using an

article by Lorna Collier who researched this topic extensively. She is a freelance writer from

Chicago whose articles have appeared in the Center for Digital Education/Center for Digital

Government publications and in works published by the American Psychological Association. I

will also be using an article by David Murphey, Ph.D. and P. Mae Cooper. Murphey is a senior

research scientist at Child Trends. Cooper, who has a bachelor’s in Art’s is also an author for

Child Trends who specializes in social policy and quantitative social research. The other

statistics I will be using will be from publicized news articles from major companies such as the

prison fellowship organization’s website, the NAACP’s website, and the California courts

website.

The 70’s in my opinion, is the perfect place to begin to explain this phenomenon. The

parental incarceration crisis in the U.S. didn’t just happen overnight; there’s been a series of

events starting from the 70’s that contributed to the incarceration of over 2 million people. In

1970, President Richard Nixon passed the Controlled Substances Act (CSA). The CSA

categorized drugs by their likelihood of addiction compared to its medical benefits. Then, in

1971, president Nixon declared a “war on drugs” after an increase of crime and rebellion took

place in the 1960’s, causing public distress and the government to start to pay closer attention to

the “most dangerous” drugs in America. This increase of government policies and organizations

to criminalize drug use has been questioned to be a racially and socially biased political move,

especially after Nixon’s domestic policy chief, John Ehrlichman stated, “We knew we couldn’t

make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the
hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could

disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their

meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying

about the drugs? Of course, we did.” [How would you explain this quote? How does this

contribute to your discussion of how the policies were part of a racially and socially biased

political move? In what ways does this support the point that 70’s perfectly explains the

incarceration of black parents? Add these to strengthen this part.]

In 1981, when president Ronald Reagan was elected into office, he expanded on Nixon’s

efforts to criminalize and penalize drug users and distributors using a “no tolerance” drug policy.

Closely following Reagan’s election, the first lady, Nancy Reagan publicized her anti-drug

campaign. Nancy’s coined term, “Just say no to drugs” led to a refocus on the war on drugs and

in 1986 congress passed the Anti-Drug Abuse Act that among many of other things made a

mandatory amount of prison time for certain drug offenses; those offenses included a mandatory

amount of 5 years in prison without parole for possession of 5 grams of crack, in comparison to

that of 500 grams of powder cocaine. This was the cause for a lot of poor, black people to be

incarcerated because “crack” was a cheaper, less potent form of the drug, that many African-

American drug users abused. These policies caused a series of arrests that placed many people,

especially those of color, in prison. Haney, C. (2001) stated that because of the war on drugs, 94

percent of individuals entering the prison system were incarcerated for non-violent, drug related

crimes. In 2002, blacks constituted more than 80 percent of the people sentenced under the

federal crack cocaine laws and served substantially more time in prison than did Whites, even

though more than 2 out of 3 cocaine users were Whites and Hispanics. This is the main cause for

the United States’ African American parental incarceration crisis.

 Another cause of this problem is the fact that America has failed to handle our mental

health crisis. Some scholars argue that placing these non-violent offenders in a prison

environment can be very detrimental. Haney (2001) also noted that he witnessed cases where

inmates entered prison with no signs of mental illness and left completely changed. Haney

(2001) also stated that the negative psychological consequences of long-term solitary-like

confinement include: an impaired sense of identity; hypersensitivity to stimuli; cognitive

dysfunction (confusion, memory loss, ruminations); irritability, anger, aggression, and/or rage;

other-directed violence, such as stabbings, attacks on staff, property destruction, and collective

violence; lethargy, helplessness and hopelessness; chronic depression; self-mutilation and/or

suicidal ideation, impulses, and behavior; anxiety and panic attacks; emotional breakdowns;

and/or loss of control; hallucinations, psychosis and/or paranoia; overall deterioration of mental

and physical health. [A semicolon is used to connect sentences. Since you are presenting a list

here and not sentences, please use commas to separate the items.] Donald Clemmer, who was

one of the first to study and document the psychological affects prison life had on inmates, wrote

“The Prison Community” in 1940 and stated the cause of mental deterioration for inmates is

prisonization. Clemmer wrote and describes prisonization as the process of new inmates learning

to adapt to the harsh realities of prison culture and following an unwritten set of guidelines on

how to behave while in prison. These guidelines include having to hide emotions to maintain a

“tough guy” image and encourages inmates to participate in other illegal activities while in

prison to gain status. The main reason why inmates are reportedly mentally unstable is because

prisons across the country have implemented a practice called solitary confinement; which is

when prisoners are forced to remain in their cells for 23 hours at a time to avoid any violent

outbursts. This practice was also a direct effect of the overcrowding of prisons nation-wide. With
little to no programming or meaningful social interactions, including calls home to their families,

being subjected to such practices may be the reason why 64 percent of jail inmates, 54 percent of

state prisoners, and 45 percent of federal prisoners report mental health concerns and receive

little to no treatment regarding those concerns before they are released back into their

communities, as reported by Murphy and Cooper (2015).

In summation, the “war on drugs” and tough on crime rhetoric in America is the main

reason why so many African American parents are in prison today. The lack of mental health

reform in the prison system is another, very important, reason why so many parents are in prison,

and continue to return to prison. I will use this information to argue the fact that there needs to be

new laws in place that prohibits capital punishment for petty, drug related crimes, and programs

that focus on the mental health of prisoners that are going to be released back into society. I will

examine these solutions and determine which solutions are the most impactful and beneficial to

the African American community and more financially responsible.

Murphy and Cooper (2015) suggested that encouraging communication between

imprisoned parents and their children, and improving the settings for visits would aide these

children in maintaining an emotional connection with their parents and may also help improve

the mental health of these children, and develop strategies on how to help improve their chances

of academic success. There are many studies that show that children who grow up with parents

in prison face many other challenges, including living in unsafe environments and growing up in

foster care. Unfortunately, in addition to these struggles, parents who are released from a long-

term prison sentence often have a difficult time connecting with their children on an

interpersonal level. As stated by Haney, C (2001), “Prisoners learn to find safety in social

invisibility by becoming as inconspicuous and unobtrusively disconnected from others as

possible. The self-imposed social withdrawal and isolation may mean that they retreat deeply

into themselves, trust virtually no one, and adjust to prison stress by leading isolated lives of

quiet desperation.” This description is of someone who is mentally unstable and ultimately unfit

to be in the same home as a child. As a result, more than half of the children who have

experienced parental incarceration have also had to live with someone who has a substance abuse

problem. In addition, more than a third of these children have also witnessed violence between

their parents or guardians, and have witnessed or experienced violence in their neighborhoods.

Haney (2001) suggests that no prisoner should be released directly out of supermax or solitary

confinement and back into the free world without first spending an extended amount of time

decompressing. One program that has been very effective in providing parents with this time of

decompression is the National Fatherhood Initiative’s (NFI), Inside Out Dad program that also

offers a program for mothers in prison as well. It is widely believed that parents who have a

strong support system and motivation to become positive role models in their children lives;

which is provided by the NFI’s programs, stay out of prison. Programs like the Inside Out dad

program can help inmates overcome prisonization and go through the extensive mental reform

that is necessary for becoming positive figures in their children’s lives once released, and can

strive to become productive members of their communities. These programs address and counsel

inmates on child abuse and neglect, marital abuse, and how to have positive relationships within

their families. Prisons must provide inmates with the ability to cope and be treated for the

adverse effects of long term isolation. I agree with Craig Haney and Lorna Collier that more

needs to be done, regarding mental health, before inmates are released back to their former

communities and this type of program is a step in the right direction.

 The Obama administration also worked hard to help solve the African American parental

incarceration crisis by reducing prison time for federal inmates who were imprisoned for certain

non-violent, drug related charges. According to Collier (2014) Congress was also considering the

Recidivism Reduction and Public Safety Act, which would provide more drug treatment and job

training and would allow inmates who complete such programs to reduce their sentences.

California actually passed proposition 47 in 2014, that changed the penalty requirements of

certain low-level crimes. Crimes such as drug possession, petty theft, and shoplifting can

potentially be reduced from felony offenses to misdemeanor offenses. Proposition 47 is using the

saved incarceration costs to fund mental health, drug treatment, and community based prevention

programs. In the 2016-2017 fiscal year, proposition 47 saved taxpayers and facilities 68 million

dollars. This money, as promised, is going directly to programs that also include trauma recovery

services for victims of crime and truancy and dropout prevention classes for at-risk youth. The

money saved by proposition 47 and other laws like it will make programs like the Inside Out

Dad program more widespread, and ultimately help get parents who commit low-level crimes out

of prison and keep them in their homes as supportive members in their families. This proposition

was supported by the District Attorney for the city and county of San Francisco, George Gascon.

In support of Proposition 47, was also William Lansdowne, the former chief of police for San

Diego, San Jose and Richmond. The American Civil Liberties Union also gave over 3 million

dollars in support of proposition 47.

Prop 47 and the Public Safety Act focus on funding prison-based programs that help

inmates return home as positively effective parents. Programs like the Inside Out Dad program

are aimed at teaching inmates how to become emotionally responsible when they return home,

and in turn, help recidivism rates which means these parents are staying out of prison once
released. Before these types of programs were introduced, two out of three prisoners were

rearrested within three years following their release, fortunately through the NFI’s Inside Out

dad programs, recidivism has reduced by 37 percent at those facilities. The Inside Out dad

program reportedly can reduce the amount of money taxpayers and facilities spend on

incarceration as well. The Inside Out Dad program only costs 600 dollars for the first 10 parents

to enroll and 10 dollars for every parent that enrolls thereafter, in comparison to the 29,000

dollars it takes to incarcerate one parent for a year.

On the other hand, a lot of law enforcement leaders and advocates for victims of crime

highly disagree with this type of solution, among this list of supporters is California’s District

Attorney Association, California’s Peace Officers Association, and California’s State Sheriff

Association. The argument is that laws like proposition 47 made it possible for addicts to roam

the streets and get away with crime. They argue that the proposition was completely unnecessary

and that first-time drug offenders were already being sent to diversion programs. California’s

Retail Association also argued that reducing penalties for theft, forgery, and receiving stolen

property could result in retailers and consumers losing millions of dollars.

What those supporters fail to realize is that implementing laws like proposition 47 and

funding programs like those ran through the NFI are better ways to get black parents back in

their homes and keep them out of prison vs. relying on the laws that are already in place to help

end this crisis. We need both: new programs and new laws to fund them. One solution is not

better than the other. We must implement new laws that help recidivism rates and provide the

resources needed for mental health programs. Not only are laws like proposition 47 the right

thing to do, but they also have the potential to save the country millions of dollars if more states

passed laws like them. The saved money from these laws could go directly to country-wide
programs that focus on mental health, parenting, and drug and abuse classes for inmates and the

African American families that are affected by parental incarceration. Implementing new laws

that fund mental health programs is not only fiscally responsible, but it’s simply the right thing to

do. We must support the children in our country, for they are the next world leaders.

In Hebrews 13:3 (The New King James Version), it states, “Continue to remember those

in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you

yourselves were suffering.” [This verse is essentially an illustration. To strongly start the

paragraph, begin with your point. What is this paragraph all about that the verse helps to

explain? Note this here, Robbie. ] How can we, as Christians allow such a travesty to go on?

Although we may not all be personally affected by the African American parental incarceration

crisis, we should attain the compassion to care about those who are affected. One thing we can

do as Christians, to show compassion, would be to take some time to reflect on how we would

feel if our own families were placed in the same predicaments of so many African American

families in the U.S. The Bible actually talks about caring for those in prison specifically, because

as Christians, we do not have the right to judge others, even those who have committed crimes.

We must still show them mercy just as God would, and advocate for their freedom.

I have faith that we can all come together to help end this crisis. As I stated before,

supporting laws like proposition 47 is the right way to go. Proposition 47 advocates for releasing

non-violent prisoners and funding mental health reform in the prison system. Again, laws like

Prop 47 will continue to reduce recidivism rates and allow not only African American parents,

but all American parents to try to become active members of their families and communities.

Luke 4:18-19 says, “The spirit of the lord is on me, because He has anointed me to proclaim

good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of
sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” This Bible

passage always gives me a sense of hope that God can work through each of us to incite a spark

of revolutionary action. We can’t allow laws to incriminate people because they’re drug addicts,

poor, or a person of color, it is inhumane.

We can trust in the Lord that he will help us find a way to end the suffering of these

people, but we must be brave. We must get out there and vote on revising the laws that are

unjust. We can also begin to start conversations about the parental incarceration crisis with the

people around us. I use social media every day and I recently began posting statistics on the

matter and asking my friends how they feel about the information. By posting these topics I have

begun some effective discussions. Not all of people agree with what I feel, and that’s more than

okay, at least I’m starting to get these problems talked about. I received a lot of comments stating

that they had never even heard of this phenomenon, which is why we must start talking about it.

For those readers who feel compelled to do something, start small, like with a Facebook post,

and get the conversation started. We can’t begin to make real change unless we make more

Americans aware of the African American parental incarceration crisis. Feel free to visit some of

the websites I have listed in my reference page and share them with your family, friends, and co-

workers.
 References
About proposition 47. My prop 47. Retrieved from: http://myprop47.org/about

Aiken, J. (2017). Era of mass expansion: Why state officials should fight jail growth. Prison

policy initiative. Retrieved from: https://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/jailsovertime.html

Collier, L. (2014). The United States leads the world in incarceration. A new report explores

why- and offers recommendations for fixing the system. Monitor on Psychology.

Retrieved from: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/10/incarceration.aspx

Criminal justice fact sheet. Retrieved from http://www.naacp.org/criminal-justice-fact-sheet/

Golding, S. (2015). Children of promise, nyc aims to restore relationships between children and

their incarcerated parents. Vibe Magazine. Retrieved from:

https://www.vibe.com/2015/10/children-of-promise-nyc/

Haney, C. (2001) The Psychological Impact of Incarceration: Implications for post-prison

adjustment. Office of the assistant secretary for planning and evaluation. Retrieved from:

https://aspe.hhs.gov/basic-report/psychological-impact-incarceration-implications-post-

prison-adjustment

Murphy, D. & Cooper, P. M. (2015). Parents behind bars: What happens to their children? News

and politics. Retrieved from: https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/one-14-

children-us-has-had-parent-jail-or-prison

Nellis, Ashley. (2016). The color of justice: Racial and ethnic disparity in state prisons. The

sentencing project. Retrieved from: http://www.sentencingproject.org/publications/color-

of-justice-racial-and-ethnic-disparity-in-state-prisons/
Patten, D. (2016). The mass incarceration of nations and the global war on drugs: Comparing the

United States’ domestic and foreign drug policies. Social Justice. Retrieved from

http://www.socialjusticejournal.org

Sanders, R. (2014). Fathers behind bars: The problem and solution for America’s children.

Prison Fellowship. Retrieved from https://www.prisonfellowship.org/2014/10/fathers-

behind-bars-the-problem-solution-for-americas-children/