Pyaar ka Punchnama 1

Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai. aur kya problem hai.Problem yeh hai ki main chahta
hoon ki meri life mein koi problem hi naa ho.Lekin agar meri life mein koi problem naa
ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai…And bull shit she is worried yaar.Usse
toh celebrate karna chahiye.Because this is exactly what she wants.Seriously yaar
aajkal jab bhi wo mooh kholti hai.Mann karta hai mooh mein kuch thuss doon.Trust me
yaar 6 mahine mein I have had it all.Sab dekh liya maine.Abbe kaunsa pyaar, kaisi
relationship, kaahe ki khushiyaan?Relationship ka matlab hi yeh hota hai to enter into
your own happiness.Uske baad all you have to worry about is.Uski khushiyaan, uska
birthday.Uske kutte ka birthday.Uska new year jo kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha.Inn
ladkiyon ko naa koi khush nahi rakh sakta.A happy woman is a myth.Tu batman wali ko
dekh le.Saala jab tak batman nahi bana, tab tak bolti rahi.Tum toh kuch karte nahi
ho.Naakara ho, napunsak ho.Main tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hoon.Jis
din bechara batman ban gaya.Uss din boli, tum toh batman ban gaye.Arrey mujhe toh
ek normal insaan chahiye tha.Main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hoon.Sab saala naa
in kahaaniyon ka dosh hai.Bloody bollywood romantic masala.Ek ladka ek ladki dono ko
pyaar hua, dono saath saath, film khatam.Iske baad ki story koi nahi batata.Iske baad ki
kahaani main batata hoon.Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko 2 din hug nahi kiya toh
problem.Hug kiya to chep ho rahe ho.Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta.Saali shopping khatam
nahi hoti inki.Pehle cushion aaye fir curtains aaye.Cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye
toh aur cushion aaye.Mere ghar mein mug itne hai ki unko bechne jaun toh mahine ka
kharcha nikal aaye.Ek toh jo cheez kharidne jaayegi.Woh cheez kharid ke nahi aayegi.2
hafte dimag chategi ki table lena hai table lena hai.5 ghante mall mein bitaa ke ek sadi
si chappal utha ke le aayegi.Aur phir agle do hafte dimag chategi.Table lena hai table
lena hai….Office me kaam kar raha hoon.Phone aa jayega.Phone uthate hi bol deta
hoon.Baat nahi kar sakta.Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?.2 minutes kar loge to
kya ho jayega.Arrey 2 minute kar lunga to tujhe kya mil jaayega meri maa.Thik se to kar
paunga nahi.Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaata to naatak.Sabse zyaada
dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai.Katiya hi ghatiya invention hai saali.Trust me I
say patta hai saala patta.Ek toh inke ad bhi dekho.Lo ji 1 paisa per second.Aur phone
karo.Aur phone karo.Arrey call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jaati hai karne
ko.Phir iska jawab unhe bhi do.Tumhare pass baat kyun nahi hai karne ko.You have
lost interest in me.Tumhe hmm hmm hi karna tha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyun kiya
?.Arrey meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyun kiya ?.Jaake Bharti Mittal se
puch naa.Tujhe main bata raha hoon.Uss ad mein naa woh kutta nahi kutiya
hai.Seriously shart laga sakta hoon.Wherever you go, we follow.Tujhe kya lagta
hai.Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo ke India nahi jaa raha hai aur galti se pahuch
gaya?.Nahi usko pata tha.Woh bechara toh kahin door jaana chahta tha.Biwi ke
chakkar mein bolna pada India jaa raha hoon.Nahi toh 10 sawaal puchti.Kahaan jaa
rahe ho.Kyun jaa rahe ho.Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?.Seedhe
seedhe kyun nahi bolte mujhse kahin door jaana chahte ho ?.Aaj tak bechaare ka
mazaak udaati hai duniya.Office mein kaam kar raha hoon.SMS aajayega.I love
you.Theek hai main bhi SMS kar deta hoon.I love you too.Iske baad SMS pe SMS
shuru.Abbe kaam kya karti hai office mein ?.2 SMS ka reply mat karna.Turant phone
aayega.Phone mat uthaa.Toh 10 minutes mein message aa chuka hoga.I don’t think it’s
working anymore.10 minutes mein Babu I love you se I don’t think it’s working
anymore.And this is when they are not even down.Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne
heart attack kyun aate hain.Aur yeh gay bande itne successful kyun hote hai ?.Because
they don’t have a woman to screw their happiness naa.Log kehte hai naa behind every
successful man, there is a woman.True..But koi ye nahi bataata ki behind every
unsuccessful man, also there is a woman.Aur yeh toh koi bhi bata sakta hai naa ki
unsuccessful logo ki taadaat.Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya
mein.Saala office me kaam kar raha hoon.Keh raha hoon late ho jaaunga.Toh khaana
nahi khaayegi.Phir bhookhi so jayegi.Arrey main keh raha hoon khalo toh dikkat.Kya
karoon naukri chodd doon ?.Phir saale ghar jaao.Pehle inhe manaao inhe khilaao.Inke
baad khud ki bhookh toh waise hi mar jaati hai.Inn sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi
tarah.Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai naa chup chaap.Ghadi ghadi.Kya soch
rahe ho???Kya soch rahe ho???Kya soch rahe ho???.Arrey kuch nahi soch raha meri
maa.Yeh soch raha hoon tera mooh kaise band karoon.Kya soch raha hoon.Camera
laga doon dimag mein.Iss sab ke baad.We never talk.We need to talk.I don’t think it’s
working any more.And main tujhe bata raha hoon.You cannot discuss anything with a
woman.Because they call it a discussion.But any discussion with a woman is an
argument.Aur argument mein toh tu boss unn se jeet hi nahi sakta.Because hum
aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai.To make sense in an argument.Ladkiyon ko koi
farak nahi padta.Sense jaisi bekaar si cheez ki wajah se who.Argument kaise haar
jaye.Ek toh aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi.Aaj ki baat pe jhagda hoga 2
mahine baad.Yahaan saala yaad bhi nahi hota hai 2 mahine pehle hua kya tha
?.Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain.Yeh chota hatiyar nahi.Yeh bada hatiyar hai.Isse badi
ladai mein use karenge.Tu kabhi try kar liyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki.Tujhe lag hi
raha hoga ke iss point se tu apni baat ko saabit kar lega.Lekin tabhi ek awaaz
aayegi.Ungli neeche karo.Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga.Lekin tumhari nadaan si
ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi.And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down
the gutter.Aur mudda ye reh jaayega ki.How dare you point a finger at me ?.Kisne
banaya yeh rule.Kisne ?.Saala woh beech argument mein tumhe joota phek ke maar de
toh koi dikkat nahi.Lekin tum unki taraf ek ungli point kardo.Saara mudda khatam.Wo
sahi tum galat.Shaadi se pehle woh nagin been kyun bajta hai, haan.Kyun ki band wala
bhi tumhe chetawani de raha hota hai ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi mein.Inka
signature tune hai who.Ab yeh bata woh kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan.Same
cheez main karoon toh.Uske kisi friend ko call karke.Ab yeh problems ginaau
toh.Kahegi achcha tumne meri friend ko call kiya.Hmm hmm.Tum unki sympathy gain
karna chahte ho ?.Why don’t you go and sleep with her?.It’s ridiculous yaar !!